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아름다운 삶, 사랑 그리고 마무리

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26세의 저자와 세계적 지성인 스코트 니어링과의 만남을 그린 자전적 에세이. 이 책 속에서 헬렌은 스코트와 함께 보낸 충만한 삶과 100세 생일을 앞두고 스스로 음식을 끊음으로써 평화롭고도 위엄을 간직한채 맞이한 스코트의 죽음을 통해 사랑과 삶, 죽음이 하나임을 보여준다. (Yes24 책소개 중)

247 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1992

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About the author

Helen Nearing

47 books24 followers
Helen Knothe Nearing was an American author and advocate of simple living. She and Scott Nearing started a relationship in 1928 and married nearly 20 years later, on December 12, 1947.[3][3] The couple lived in rural Vermont where they grew much of their food and erected nine stone buildings over the course of two decades. They earned money by producing maple syrup and sugar from the trees on their land and from Scott Nearing's occasional paid lectures. (from Wikipedia)

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5 stars
137 (39%)
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123 (35%)
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68 (19%)
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12 (3%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
Profile Image for Lungstrum Smalls.
392 reviews20 followers
October 25, 2019
Helen Nearing begins this book with an examination of the word "I". She's uncomfortable with it, doesn't want to use it in this autobiography (despite the advice of many an editor) because it's too self-centered. She asks, "what and who is this 'I' anyway? We call the body 'mine.' We inhabit it; yet it is not us. . . We are all part of the same unity--life."

I appreciate the skepticism of this first person singular pronoun (and have found myself tiring of it when I write, too), but I do wish that Nearing extended her critical eye to the pronoun "he" as well. Because that's what ends up taking the place of her I, again and again.

Helen almost only writes of herself as a witness to messianic men, specifically Scott Nearing (but also Krishna). While she's quite transparent about the fact that her life revolved around Scott's, and that she finds this a positive thing, and while their life together certainly had its interesting turns, the book quickly starts to feel like hero-worship, or worse.

I found myself wondering how much of Helen Nearing's joy, creativity, and vibrant "I" was squeezed out of her by the chiding, overly serious, man-father named Scott. Scott, who tells her to stop having fun and to "get serious". Who didn't attend his son's funeral because his son had bourgeois values. Who wrote her letters early on in their relationship (when he was in his 50s and she in her 20s) like the following:

"Face this question: For the last ten weeks, what percentage of the time has been devoted to the higher and what percentage to the lower self? In one of your letters you called it a "vacation". From the standpoint of your higher self, it has been a debauch. You have squandered your time and your energy on activities that mean little or nothing in terms of the higher life."

But I must take Helen's word for it that she wanted the life she lived. They did create they're life together, however uneven that togetherness was. And what a life. . . Helen and Scott forced themselves into a life that elevated manual labor to godliness, while simultaneously denied the primacy of the body (she only once, very briefly, discusses the subject of sex. Never speaks of bodily pain, injury, or illness). They created the "good life" in the abstract, then forced their desire, emotion, and wily, unpredictable human bodies into that box; whatever didn't fit got left behind. For all of it's revolutionary value, it just feels to me like the Protestant work ethic reinvented.

I first learned about Helen and Scott through an interview in Studs Terkel's "American Dreams," where they sounded wise and joyful. Perhaps they were, but the wisdom drawn in this book feels like dogma, and the joy feels like the scraps that Helen managed to somehow smuggle out of view of the cantankerous Scott Nearing.
Profile Image for Josee Leclerc.
32 reviews1 follower
January 6, 2018
Currently reading it as I just received it a few days ago. I was looking forward to learn more about this couple who choose to live which they thought could be a recluse life by having a piece of land first in Vermont and then in Maine. It is amazing how they manage to make a living and have such a long life with what looks like so much physical work just to feed themselves everyday and more, to do business with their crops. It asked for a substantial amount of courage, love and respect for one another in order to go that way. Maple syrup in Vermont brought them a financial security but the amount of manual work it asked for without any motorized tools is a great lesson on human being's capacity and possibilities. At this point, it makes me think a lot about all the choices we are making all of us and the cost of it. But, after saying this, I admire people like Helen Nearing who choose the stay near a man of such a drastic way of thinking. Learning and living through all those experiences showed us another path. Life is not all about machines, internet connections and wheels but it is to find a balance between what is necessary and what is not that will make our life rich, vibrating and joyful. Keeping up with the reading
5 reviews1 follower
December 2, 2018
I read this book maybe 15-20 years ago, and yet it has stayed with me. I can't relate to Helen's hero worship of Scott, nor to his rigid and judgmental nature. He basically disowned his own kids because they weren't on his wavelength, and Helen supported this. On the other hand, they were of a different, pre-therapy era and he was most definitely the leader and guru of the relationship. She did not have children herself, so perhaps she was not sensitive to a child's needs.

There are things I loved about the book. I have thought so many times about Helen's approach to old age. She talks about really appreciating each day with the full knowledge that days are limited. She was able to let go, when letting go made sense to her. She helped Scott die in his own way at a time of his choosing. She didn't fight it or live in grief. She so loved her man and committed herself to a lifestyle that was bizarre in its day. The choices the Nearings made would not be strange now, but they were pioneers. Maybe it took a rigid ethos to do what Scott did. I highly recommend this book.
Profile Image for Kathy.
400 reviews3 followers
September 12, 2015
Helen Nearing and her husband led such interesting lives, I thought this book would bring some insight into why they made the decisions they did; however I was disappointed in both the author's skill at relating information and discussing her inner thoughts.
Profile Image for Mitchell Biggs.
4 reviews
April 24, 2025
This isn't a well edited or carefully packaged literary review meant to give some concise synopsis of the book or cast a critical light on the author. I simply want to to share a free-form journal entry and few closing thoughts after finishing this book. Think of it as rough sawn timber - not dimensional lumber:

My background connection to Helen and Scott Nearing include reading their works The Good Life and Continuing The Good Life - each of which read as much more matter-of-fact homesteading journals and manuals.

I was amazed and pleasantly surprised by the sheer worldly-ness and diverging context of both Helen and Scott's lives before settling into their work together in Vermont and Maine. Their personal connections to turn of the century class struggle and class consciousness, esoteric religion and astrology had me hooked - if not fascinated and enraptured. The literary, philosophical and religious influence and inclusion of quotes added tremendously to the reading experience.

The Nearing's lived with such principle and dogged determination. Truly inspiring stuff. To be vocal about your beliefs even at great personal cost and sacrifice, to take chances in life, turning away at times from normal societies expected path, to follow a more humane inner calling, to value your privacy, yet open your home to others, to share your creations and surpluses easily and freely, to maintain your health and involvement with your surroundings, to read and build and grow and write, to have wide ranging interests, and to happily and bravely and consciously step into death with the same steadfast sureness and solidity they had in life - what an astounding couple. What a source of inspiration to pull from in helping us all to build a Good Life.

Does Scott Nearing's dogmatic and principled stance sound like he was the most fun person to be around? Of course not. But thankfully that isn't the only characteristic we should be judging someones quality as a human being upon.

We would all be so lucky to step as bravely into death with the same peace as Scott Nearing, doubly so to have a partner documenting life in the way Helen Nearing did in this book. The humanity and vulnerability in these 224 pages caught me off guard, in the heaviest and best of ways.

I cant think of another book so far that has made me more comfortable and accepting of death's inevitability and naturalness. That is plenty endorsement enough in my eyes.
Profile Image for Rachael Quinn.
539 reviews16 followers
July 18, 2019
I made a list of books mentioned in Simple Abundance a few years ago and this was on it.  I don't know why I decided to get around to reading it now.  I must have been having one of my "bookaholic days".  It feels like strange subject matter for me.  I suppose you would call it a memoir.  It's the story of Helen and Scott's life together.

I'm finding this one hard to write about, so I'm just going to go for it.

There were a lot of interesting things in this book.  I did really enjoy reading about their simple lives.  It was odd to think of it being so radical when moving out to the country and starting a farm seems to be almost typical these days.  However, there was a lot that didn't sit well with me.  For instance, before Helen met Scott she had a relationship with another man, Juddi Krishnamurti, who was being groomed for a position of religious power and went on to be a famous speaker and writer.  Helen dedicates a chapter to this relationship and seems... a little bitter about it at times.  Then the way that she views Scott is really bothersome to.  He seems to be a very judgmental man and she shares letters from him which outline all of the ways that she should improve herself.  I kind of snorted aloud in disbelief at this but people love who they love, I guess.  If my husband wrote me a list on how to improve myself I'd change the locks, but it's a different time.

Helen and Scott had an interesting life together and it was an interesting read.  I'm not sure how I feel about it at all and I probably wouldn't actually suggest it to anyone I know.
Profile Image for Lauren.
57 reviews2 followers
October 1, 2020
I learned so much from this book. The other two books of the Nearings I have read have taught me a lot about farming, homesteading, and how to organize and structure a livelihood. But this book has given me invaluable insights into a way of viewing the world that goes beyond my Western conditioning. I found myself at many points in this narrative reading something that felt to be a verbal expression of something that I had felt in my heart but did not know how to vocalize or form into a concept. I am so grateful that Helen and Scott Nearing have now contributed to the image of the person whom I am striving to become, and I think I am further along that path now for having read a few of their books.
Profile Image for Forest.
57 reviews13 followers
January 11, 2021
Helen Nearing gives a deeply intimate glimpse of her and Scott Nearing's lives, and provides a vision of joy and peace found in passing on from this life. Unlike Scott, who had been more outspoken about those who chose lavish lives, even condemning his son who died of a heart attack, Helen seems to make her life choices seem as a steady stream of organic creation, a river of love. The title then, "Loving and Leaving the Good Life," is a perfect description of what it's like to face old age and death with dignity and grace. A must read for poetic sojourners.
Profile Image for Kate Lawrence.
Author 1 book29 followers
May 24, 2025
For years, I'd wanted to read the books written by Helen Nearing about her life with Scott, and have finally finished them. The Nearings had been heroes for me back when I first became vegetarian in the 80's. I hadn't fully appreciated that they didn't start a community; it was just the two of them living a simple life (which incidentally involved a lot of hard work!), writing and welcoming visitors who wanted to learn from them. I was particularly interested in Scott's self-chosen death by starvation at age 100.
Profile Image for Joy.
151 reviews1 follower
February 13, 2019
Gave me a whole new perspective on dying. Beautiful and inspiring.
Profile Image for Stevie.
71 reviews
April 19, 2020
Not sure calling it a memoir is wholly accurate since it seems more an ode to her late husband than a reflection on her own life, but I did enjoy her extensive use of quotations.
Profile Image for Wanda Ross.
368 reviews1 follower
October 9, 2020
Very interesting memoir about a couple who live a simple, self-sufficient life. Interesting perspective on how to appreciate life and dying.
Profile Image for January.
258 reviews18 followers
August 12, 2018
This is the portrait of a strange marriage between Scott and Helen Nearing with a minor foray into Helen's early relationship with a famous Indian speaker.

I'm not quite sure I understand Helen. She seems to enjoy and indeed, find meaning, in serving the men in her life, with few desires of her own. There is definitely an element of hero worship that goes beyond love. And in turn, both Krishna and Scott treat her like a devoted pupil, someone to bestow knowledge upon and proactively guide. Perhaps I am too much of a feminist to really grasp this kind of devotion ("love"?).

One good thing I got out of this biography, though, is a much keener interest in Scott Nearing and his politics. The other Nearing books I've enjoyed were all homesteading related and had very little socio-political themes in them. I intend to pick up a few of his books now as well.

A lot of great quotes, mostly from Scott Nearing and other authors, not from Helen:

"Gandhi wrote in the letter to a disciple: "The more I observe and study things, the more convinced I become that sorrow over separation is perhaps the greatest delusion. To realize that is a delusion is to become free. We love friends for the substance we recognize in them and yet deplore the destruction of the insubstantial that covers the substance for the time being. There is no death, no separation for the substance. Real friendship touches and can keep the substance when the surface goes."

"Have less, be more."

"'It's what you are, not what you have on that is important in life,' Scott has said. "I regard being and doing as the essential ingredients of life; merely living and having can be an obstruction and burden." (107)

"The young Nearing and Knothe families had grown up in a comparatively noiseless era, with few motor cars, little traffic and no din, and no radio with its constant background of music or talk. We were lucky to have been from before the Age of Noise." (110)

"You must live as you think, or sooner or later you will think as you live." -Paul Valéry (145)

"...our regular diet of two cups of mint tea for breakfast; soup and cereals for lunch; salad and vegetables for supper." (160)

"The man who works and is never bored, is never old. A person is not old until regrets take the place of hopes and plans." (173)

"Do the thing that you believe in. Do the best you can in the place where you are and be kind." (183)

"As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well-used brings happy death." —Leonardo da Vinci (185)

"I feel that life is such a unity that love which once happened still exists. It is there on the record. Love once felt has its place. The love I had for and receive from Scott, the love for and from countless women and men I have known, is still vibrating in the world. Everyone who feels "I love" adds to the heavenly glow. The love that has been felt all through the ages, everywhere, all through time... What a shining! What an eternal process and presence! Love is the source, love the goal, and love the method of attainment." (193)

"To have partaken of and to have given love is the greatest of life's rewards." (194)
730 reviews
July 19, 2014
I rate this book on its ability to make me analyze myself as well as our culture. Helen Nearing recounts her husband's life as well as her own. Scott (born in 1883) was a Ph.D in Economics who was fired from the University of Pennsylvania for his views against our child labor laws. He subsequently was dismissed from a small Ohio college in 1917 for his outspoken pacifism as we were entering World War I. His first wife left him and sometime in the mid twenties he and Helen Knothe Nearing (born in 1904) took up life on a farm in rural Vermont using the land to supply just what they needed without taking life of the animals that lived with them. As vegetarians, they were able to organically grow what they needed to exist. Their goal was to never use those they knew to their financial or political advantage. They were both raised in well to do families. He had no religious background; her mother belonged to the Theosophical Society. Dr. Scott found the killing of people to have no credence militaristically or psychologically. They took care of both their bodies and their place in the universe with thought. Wonder what life would be if everyone had that philosophy!
Profile Image for Anne.
27 reviews
March 20, 2010
Came across this by chance, and am amazed that I don't remember coming across the Nearings before. It's not often a book gives you a non-sentimental glimpse into peoples' lives, while simultaneously allowing you a glimpse inside the author's mind (and heart).

While I admire Scott's full dedication to his beliefs, I'm interested in Helen's courage as well. Interesting to ponder the possible differences between men and women as illustrated by the two of them....or is it more their difference in backgrounds? All while reading, I kept wondering, "What if you had kids?" Which of course made me consider all of the compromises (some would say, acquiescences)I've made in raising my own children and whether I'm teaching them about what I really believe if I'm not living fully "authentically". Must we live austerely and far from capitalism/commerce in order to teach about the pitfalls of commercialism? Not that that is Scott's philosophy in a nutshell, but, hmmmm.

I also found the descriptions of Helen's early relationship with Krishnamurti fascinating.
Profile Image for Anthony.
278 reviews15 followers
June 27, 2007
Helen Nearing's biography of returning to simplicity in New England and building a subsistence lifestyle on maple sugar production. She figured in Krishnamurthi's early love life, before he was proclaimed the Star of the East by the Theosophical Society, and eventually married Scott Nearing - ex- economics professor at the University of Pennsylvania before being fired for publishing an anti-war pamphlet protesting World War I. Together they escaped to Vermont to live off the fat (and sugar) of the land. You may want to find a private log cabin with your loved one after reading this.
221 reviews2 followers
April 23, 2008
I really like the simple way that Helen and Scott Nearing look at life in this book. I know Scott Nearing was somewhat of a radical and socialist in his day and I don't agree with all his (or Helen's) viewpoints but they make some very good points in this book. I especially like the kind of relationship they have...they are very respectful, kind, admiring. They know well how to give each other the space they need but have a wonderful sense of unity.
Profile Image for C.
17 reviews
July 12, 2008
I recommend the book not for any literary qualities, but because it is a chronicle of two people living a life that most people think is impossible or highly impractical. The short of it is that they chose to live "from the land", they were not lonely misanthropes, and they lived to a very old age. The husband died a very peaceful death. Inspires me to alter aspects of my own life.
Profile Image for Darby.
400 reviews58 followers
September 17, 2008
I am not sure what to even say about this book. It is the story of Scott and Helen Nearing told by Helen. They lived a life of homesteading. They lived their lives with no apologies or excuses. They put everything ito living on their own terms. Scott and Helen were committed to being socially aware and responsible in creating an environmentally sustainable way of living.
Profile Image for Margi.
42 reviews
August 20, 2010
this book is a fascinating look at a couple's journey of leaving the academic life and relocating to a farm in new england. scott and helen build their home, grow their food, and live lightly on the land. the latter part of the book includes scott's decision to die on his own terms. i found this read to be very thought provoking.
Profile Image for Trish.
91 reviews
October 16, 2008
What a touching and revealing portrait. Not that I agree with every sentiment expressed in the book, but it is a personal revelation without an excess of sentimentality or detail. That in and of itself is an accomplishment. Here is a guidepost to help anyone along the path we must trod : an example of one couple's solution to the questions of life.
Profile Image for Kathy Rice.
30 reviews
November 27, 2013
If I have the luxury of choosing when I die, this is a great blue print on how to do it. I read Living the Good Life as a teenager at the height of the back-to-land movement in the early 70s. It was influential in my life and impacted me appropriately for the age I was then, as did this book for my age now.
Profile Image for Dawn Mackey.
96 reviews5 followers
October 16, 2007
I just read this one AGAIN for the 20th time. It's soooo good, and Helen Nearing is my favorite person on earth (though deceased) whom I completely look up to. I'm always inspired when I read this one.
Profile Image for Erin.
104 reviews23 followers
April 20, 2010
When reading "The Good Life", which I gave 5 stars, I did not realize what total nuts Scott and Helen Nearing were. With few personal details to go on, I imagined them to be level-headed, scientific-minded pragmatists. This book certainly shattered that image.
Profile Image for Mary.
299 reviews2 followers
January 19, 2009
LOVED this book. It's not often an autobiography of a person previously unknown to me can keep my interest the way this one did.
Profile Image for Lillian.
180 reviews4 followers
May 1, 2012
I so love the Nearings + their philosphy on living - so this book was another enjoyable read in their series - a closer look at the personal side of their lives.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews

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