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The Home Stretch: A Father, a Son, and All the Things They Never Talk About
George K. Ilsley explores his complex relationship with his aging father in this candid memoir full of sharp emotion and disarming humor. George's father is ninety-one years old, a widower, and fiercely independent; an avid gardener, he's sweet and more than a little eccentric. But he's also a hoarder who makes embarrassing comments and invitations to women, and he has made no plans whatsoever for what is inevitably coming over the horizon.
Decades after George has moved four time zones away, he begins to make regular trips home to help care for his cranky and uncooperative father, and to sift through the hoarded fragments of his father's life. In doing so, George is forced to confront some uncomfortable family secrets and ugly personal truths, only to discover that the inexorable power of life's journey pulls everyone along in its wake.
The Home Stretch is a beguiling, moving book about aging parents who do not "go gently," and their adult children who must reckon with their own past before helping to guide them on their way.
Decades after George has moved four time zones away, he begins to make regular trips home to help care for his cranky and uncooperative father, and to sift through the hoarded fragments of his father's life. In doing so, George is forced to confront some uncomfortable family secrets and ugly personal truths, only to discover that the inexorable power of life's journey pulls everyone along in its wake.
The Home Stretch is a beguiling, moving book about aging parents who do not "go gently," and their adult children who must reckon with their own past before helping to guide them on their way.
224 pages, Paperback
Published May 1, 2020
1 person is currently reading
77 people want to read
About the author
George K. Ilsley
12 books314 followersA Canadian reader and writer.
"The Home Stretch: A Father, a Son, and All The Things They Never Talk About," a book about my relationship with my father when he was in his 90s, is available everywhere (Arsenal Pulp Press). This book includes "Bingo and Black Ice" which was the winner of a creative non-fiction contest.
(Somehow, I won the same contest the next year for fiction.)
Previous books are the novel ManBug, and the short fiction collection, Random Acts of Hatred.
Was a writer in residence, in the Yukon, in winter. And loved it.
Link above to Instagram @g.k.ilsley
❤️
NOTE: if you have few books listed and hundreds of friends, I am unlikely to accept your friend request. Try following me instead! Thanks
"The Home Stretch: A Father, a Son, and All The Things They Never Talk About," a book about my relationship with my father when he was in his 90s, is available everywhere (Arsenal Pulp Press). This book includes "Bingo and Black Ice" which was the winner of a creative non-fiction contest.
(Somehow, I won the same contest the next year for fiction.)
Previous books are the novel ManBug, and the short fiction collection, Random Acts of Hatred.
Was a writer in residence, in the Yukon, in winter. And loved it.
Link above to Instagram @g.k.ilsley
❤️
NOTE: if you have few books listed and hundreds of friends, I am unlikely to accept your friend request. Try following me instead! Thanks
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
August 25, 2022
George K. Ilsley, thank you for inviting me into your world, your privacy, into your skill as a writer.
Your memoir does not hide where we, as readers, will finish up. We know we are sharing the circumstances of your father’s last years. Your descriptions are achingly honest and the inclusion of humour necessary to help us through this experience.
Mr Ilsley (may I call you George?) writes about his unique father/son relationship – all his insecurities, unanswered questions, hopes and veiled admirations.
This is a brave, private account of caregiving that does not sugar-coat the personal, messy challenges that we can face, or will all face at some time.
A commendable piece of writing.
My takeaway:
“There are so many slices and scenes and memories and stories of my father. All scrambled in my head and around me, outside and inside, like a giant multi-dimensional jigsaw puzzle where the final picture is unknown, and all the pieces may or may not fit.
Some of the pieces many not even belong to this puzzle” p.215
Your memoir does not hide where we, as readers, will finish up. We know we are sharing the circumstances of your father’s last years. Your descriptions are achingly honest and the inclusion of humour necessary to help us through this experience.
Mr Ilsley (may I call you George?) writes about his unique father/son relationship – all his insecurities, unanswered questions, hopes and veiled admirations.
This is a brave, private account of caregiving that does not sugar-coat the personal, messy challenges that we can face, or will all face at some time.
A commendable piece of writing.
My takeaway:
“There are so many slices and scenes and memories and stories of my father. All scrambled in my head and around me, outside and inside, like a giant multi-dimensional jigsaw puzzle where the final picture is unknown, and all the pieces may or may not fit.
Some of the pieces many not even belong to this puzzle” p.215
July 13, 2025
2021 update. Did a quick reread to prepare for a bookclub. One bookclub member who trained Care Aides was very complimentary about how this memoir entered the world of personal support workers and other health care professionals. This comment warmed my heart, because these workers do an incredible job in difficult circumstances, and are not always appreciated.
❤️
This book grew out of several visits I made to see my father, when he was in his 90s and living in a small town in Nova Scotia.
The result, I hope, is funny, sad, and true. It's as true as I could make it. The humour is the real-life kind, where we are embarrassed by all the things we can't control, and frustrated by everything that is embarrassing!
The front cover excerpt from blurb says, "Life-giving and bracingly honest" (from David Chariandy, author of Brother). Another reviewer said the book was "gently self-deprecating" and "surprisingly funny and a pleasure to read."
My heart goes out to all those who are embracing the beauty and pain of aging parents.
❤️
This book grew out of several visits I made to see my father, when he was in his 90s and living in a small town in Nova Scotia.
The result, I hope, is funny, sad, and true. It's as true as I could make it. The humour is the real-life kind, where we are embarrassed by all the things we can't control, and frustrated by everything that is embarrassing!
The front cover excerpt from blurb says, "Life-giving and bracingly honest" (from David Chariandy, author of Brother). Another reviewer said the book was "gently self-deprecating" and "surprisingly funny and a pleasure to read."
My heart goes out to all those who are embracing the beauty and pain of aging parents.
November 5, 2020
You wouldn't think, necessarily, that a book about a son, visiting his father in his 90s, to take care of him, to give his brother a break from caring duties, and finally to say goodbye, would be a page-turner. But it is. Around these visits, Ilsley lets a larger story unfold, about families and secrets, about a complex relationship between father and son, about the mysteries of ageing, memory and affection.
It is a palimpsest, a story about eccentric people with tales unique to them layered on top of a universal narrative of family and the ways we care and do not care for each other. Like all good writing, it will reach out and prod you to think of similarities in your life and I'd think this book would be especially poignant to anyone with an ageing parent, who has said goodbye to a parent, and anyone (is this most of us?) who have family members or loved ones who are particularly stubborn.
The Home Stretch is touching but it is also very, very funny. Humour is not a shield nor affectation; it is an observation of life's absurdities and also part and parcel of the whole puzzle: sadness and frustration and resentment and care and laughter all gaffer-taped together. The joke made of his father's passion kept giving and giving: I was surprised that it got funnier and funnier.
I hope this honest, funny and beautifully written book finds a wide audience. I recommend it highly.
It is a palimpsest, a story about eccentric people with tales unique to them layered on top of a universal narrative of family and the ways we care and do not care for each other. Like all good writing, it will reach out and prod you to think of similarities in your life and I'd think this book would be especially poignant to anyone with an ageing parent, who has said goodbye to a parent, and anyone (is this most of us?) who have family members or loved ones who are particularly stubborn.
The Home Stretch is touching but it is also very, very funny. Humour is not a shield nor affectation; it is an observation of life's absurdities and also part and parcel of the whole puzzle: sadness and frustration and resentment and care and laughter all gaffer-taped together. The joke made of his father's passion kept giving and giving: I was surprised that it got funnier and funnier.
I hope this honest, funny and beautifully written book finds a wide audience. I recommend it highly.
June 11, 2021
The paradox of a relationship with an ageing or dying parent (especially a father?) is that by the time you dedicate space in your life to it - often because they now require care - the quality moments you'd love to share after a lifetime of safe distance are no longer an option. The dying parent's fear, pain, confusion or loss of dignity modify behaviours on both sides, filling final weeks, months or even years with grief rather than grace.
It's a generalisation, sure, but it's a dynamic I've observed in my own life, and one that author George Ilsley chronicles with sharp insight in his highly readable memoir, The Home Stretch. A middle-aged man living in Vancouver, George travels back and forth to Nova Scotia to assist his brother in caring for their proud and stubborn father, a widower shuffling grudgingly into his nineties. Ilsley's observations focus primarily on the mundane, the bitter ironies and preposterous conflicts that take over the final moments between father and son.
So much needs to be said, as subjective interpretations of the past clash in a bid to retroactively understand a life lived. Instead, precious moments are hijacked by arguments about old drapes, circular conversations about trival things (an obsession with peanuts is a running joke) and efforts to get a recalcitrant nonagenarian to accept the inexorable and debilitating nature of encroaching death.
I wish we'd learned more about the author here. Too often, the father offers up a distorted reflection of the child, an alternative take is not always offered the reader. I would have loved to know more about the writer's youth, another vantage point from which to understand the present. For example, George's homosexuality is hinted at only in passing (in parentheses!) - its relevance to the father-son dynamic never explicitly explored.
The end of ordinary lives is not always a popular subject. It's a time that can bring out the worst in people or pose difficult questions about our own final days. With a light touch and a lot of humour, the author describes the ultra specific in a way that makes it universal and relatable. Many will recognise themselves or a relative, and in doing so may feel seen, heard or acknowledged.
There are generous insights in The Home Stretch, and they're often subtle or accidental, rarely drawing attention to themselves. Thankfully, this never becomes a self-help book, nor does it turn the ordinary and the common into something more for the sake of an audience. Ilsley asks more questions than he answers, and that's just as well: the act of finding our own answers are integral to the getting of wisdom.
It's a generalisation, sure, but it's a dynamic I've observed in my own life, and one that author George Ilsley chronicles with sharp insight in his highly readable memoir, The Home Stretch. A middle-aged man living in Vancouver, George travels back and forth to Nova Scotia to assist his brother in caring for their proud and stubborn father, a widower shuffling grudgingly into his nineties. Ilsley's observations focus primarily on the mundane, the bitter ironies and preposterous conflicts that take over the final moments between father and son.
So much needs to be said, as subjective interpretations of the past clash in a bid to retroactively understand a life lived. Instead, precious moments are hijacked by arguments about old drapes, circular conversations about trival things (an obsession with peanuts is a running joke) and efforts to get a recalcitrant nonagenarian to accept the inexorable and debilitating nature of encroaching death.
I wish we'd learned more about the author here. Too often, the father offers up a distorted reflection of the child, an alternative take is not always offered the reader. I would have loved to know more about the writer's youth, another vantage point from which to understand the present. For example, George's homosexuality is hinted at only in passing (in parentheses!) - its relevance to the father-son dynamic never explicitly explored.
The end of ordinary lives is not always a popular subject. It's a time that can bring out the worst in people or pose difficult questions about our own final days. With a light touch and a lot of humour, the author describes the ultra specific in a way that makes it universal and relatable. Many will recognise themselves or a relative, and in doing so may feel seen, heard or acknowledged.
There are generous insights in The Home Stretch, and they're often subtle or accidental, rarely drawing attention to themselves. Thankfully, this never becomes a self-help book, nor does it turn the ordinary and the common into something more for the sake of an audience. Ilsley asks more questions than he answers, and that's just as well: the act of finding our own answers are integral to the getting of wisdom.
January 31, 2024
The commonalities I have with the author of this book and that my late father have with Ilsley’s late father are eerie. But I suppose they shouldn’t be. Many gay men have mothers who seduce them to become Mommy’s helper when Dad ignores or rejects them. A number of gay men are called upon to be caregiver for that father late in life when he realizes he can’t do life alone.
Yet the author approaches the subject with a great sense of humor (sometimes sardonic, sometimes sly) and a great deal of honesty. George’s father is stubborn, irascible, rude, outspoken. He is also in his nineties and can’t always remember what he said ten minutes earlier or what he did yesterday. The family live in Nova Scotia in an old house the author’s father has built much earlier in time. Things must be run the way the father says. That includes keeping some old brown draperies pulled shut on the stairway to keep heat downstairs. When George’s father is finally confined to a hospital and death is only a matter of days away, the first thing George does when he gets back to the family place is to rip down those draperies. Yet he can’t bring himself to throw them away but instead hides them . . . just in case the old man should return.
Ilsley’s last chapter is a coda of sorts. It concerns his father’s last days, when George must fly from Nova Scotia to his adult home in Vancouver. Short sections touch on subjects like “seeing” his father everywhere after the man’s death. There are “so many slices and scenes and memories and stories of my father” (215) that George’s mind keeps bringing up. Even two years after the funeral, George claims to hear his father’s voice in the night . . . and he’s back in Vancouver. I do not discount this event. On the second night after my father’s death, I “wake” from a dream to sense more than hear my own father say something like everything’s going to be fine. I’m not a woo-woo (or even serious) religious person, but somehow I believe what has been communicated. As I said earlier, I feel a lot in common with the author, and I’m happy to have read his account.
Yet the author approaches the subject with a great sense of humor (sometimes sardonic, sometimes sly) and a great deal of honesty. George’s father is stubborn, irascible, rude, outspoken. He is also in his nineties and can’t always remember what he said ten minutes earlier or what he did yesterday. The family live in Nova Scotia in an old house the author’s father has built much earlier in time. Things must be run the way the father says. That includes keeping some old brown draperies pulled shut on the stairway to keep heat downstairs. When George’s father is finally confined to a hospital and death is only a matter of days away, the first thing George does when he gets back to the family place is to rip down those draperies. Yet he can’t bring himself to throw them away but instead hides them . . . just in case the old man should return.
Ilsley’s last chapter is a coda of sorts. It concerns his father’s last days, when George must fly from Nova Scotia to his adult home in Vancouver. Short sections touch on subjects like “seeing” his father everywhere after the man’s death. There are “so many slices and scenes and memories and stories of my father” (215) that George’s mind keeps bringing up. Even two years after the funeral, George claims to hear his father’s voice in the night . . . and he’s back in Vancouver. I do not discount this event. On the second night after my father’s death, I “wake” from a dream to sense more than hear my own father say something like everything’s going to be fine. I’m not a woo-woo (or even serious) religious person, but somehow I believe what has been communicated. As I said earlier, I feel a lot in common with the author, and I’m happy to have read his account.
March 13, 2021
I really enjoyed this book! It's sort of a memoir / non fiction narrative centred on the last 5-6 years of an old man's life as experienced by his middle aged son. The honesty of emotions and family recollections was beautiful and oftentimes quite amusing. It reminded me a lot of how we often have the choice to laugh or cry when life throws us its twists. It jumps around a fair bit (connections to childhood for example), but I rolled with it because it felt like those reminiscences happened because of a different moment that had just been described.
March 5, 2021
I love this book. It is a tender tale full of regret and longing with wonderful wit and whimsey.
It is intimate but never indulgent.
For anyone who has had a father.
It is intimate but never indulgent.
For anyone who has had a father.
May 11, 2020
This is a memoir about Ilsley’s father’s last years from age 91-96. It is about a stubborn, forgetful and cantankerous old man who resists every attempt by his sons and caregivers to improve his living situation. Written with humor, charm and searing honesty, it would be worth reading for the peanuts alone.
February 26, 2022
This is indeed a beguiling and witty book that lures you in with the at times funny vicissitudes of caring for an aged parent. George is not a youngster when he starts returning from Vancouver with regularity across the country to his family home in Nova Scotia to care for his over ninety dad who is deeply set in his ways. You will laugh a lot during the opening segments of these visits as old problems and disagreements rear up and Dad selectively recalls what bothered him in days gone by and for which he still holds a grudge, but he is constantly pushing George and his brother to the edges of their tolerance until they and especially the author begins to realize it’s not all with them. As the seasons pass and the reader is assured he knows where the story is going, seriousness and some sadness sets in, and tears will flow, mine did. George Ilsley is such an adept writer he knows exactly which moments to highlight to extract the appropriate emotion, but the writing never feels manipulative and nothing feels forced. It always sounds as if it is coming from the heart whether evoking laughter or tears, and even when you think you know where the memoir is headed, there are still some surprises in store. Both George and his father are standout characters in this tale and several of the caregivers make memorable appearances. This is well-worth reading again and therefore highly recommended.
July 10, 2021
Over the past decade, as I've struggled with my own odyssey, I've read a lot of books about aging parents. (You'd think that being in the business of elder care in addition to having elders of my own to sweat over that I'd want to read anything else, but I don't. Even after all this time, I want these stories; I want to say, "What, you too? And then what happened?!" and I can't get enough.) It's impossible not to notice that almost all of these books (whether fiction, memoir, or that category somewhere in between fiction and memoir) have been written by women, so I jumped on this memoir the instant I heard about it, and I'm so glad I did.
Oh my goodness. So many familiar scenarios. George's dad needs hands on support, but fights it every step of the way. "The recipe for help is much the same as the approach to cleaning--an admixture of diplomacy, flattery, duplicity, patience, belligerence and endurance." Yes. Oh hell-yes!
In my experience, writing a memoir can be very cathartic and fulfilling, but it also takes bravery to put yourself out there, so kudos to the author for publishing this really excellent book. I loved it.
Oh my goodness. So many familiar scenarios. George's dad needs hands on support, but fights it every step of the way. "The recipe for help is much the same as the approach to cleaning--an admixture of diplomacy, flattery, duplicity, patience, belligerence and endurance." Yes. Oh hell-yes!
In my experience, writing a memoir can be very cathartic and fulfilling, but it also takes bravery to put yourself out there, so kudos to the author for publishing this really excellent book. I loved it.
August 9, 2020
"Dad occupies a hazy zone, an in-between state. He is post-adult entering his second childhood, and neither competent nor incompetent. We try to help, and he pushes us back every step of the way. Everything we try to do, he makes harder."
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Thoughts~
This memoir really resonated with me in a lot of ways. Having been through the decline and loss of both my grandfather's, one quite recently, I felt Ilsleys struggles. As they got into their 90's my grandfather's started to show different sides of themselves that I hadn't seen before and made caring for them difficult. Its heartbreaking and frustrating to watch our loved ones grow old and not accept the realities of old age or the help we try to give to the point that they end up hurting themselves.
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With cander and humour Ilsley writes of caring for his elderly father as he declines into old age and their complex relationship. Now in his 90's his father is particularly unaccepting of the aging process that is upon him. A very independent and unconventional man. Ilsley discovers more about his father's life and in the process unearths certain personal hard truths and family secrets as well.
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Anyone who has cared for an elderly loved one will find a likeness here. It also made me want to read more father-son relationship narratives. I definitely reccomend this, especially if your into memoirs.
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Thank You to the publisher for sending me this book opinions are my own.
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For more of my book content check out instagram.com/bookalong
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Thoughts~
This memoir really resonated with me in a lot of ways. Having been through the decline and loss of both my grandfather's, one quite recently, I felt Ilsleys struggles. As they got into their 90's my grandfather's started to show different sides of themselves that I hadn't seen before and made caring for them difficult. Its heartbreaking and frustrating to watch our loved ones grow old and not accept the realities of old age or the help we try to give to the point that they end up hurting themselves.
•
With cander and humour Ilsley writes of caring for his elderly father as he declines into old age and their complex relationship. Now in his 90's his father is particularly unaccepting of the aging process that is upon him. A very independent and unconventional man. Ilsley discovers more about his father's life and in the process unearths certain personal hard truths and family secrets as well.
•
Anyone who has cared for an elderly loved one will find a likeness here. It also made me want to read more father-son relationship narratives. I definitely reccomend this, especially if your into memoirs.
•
Thank You to the publisher for sending me this book opinions are my own.
•
For more of my book content check out instagram.com/bookalong
May 15, 2021
When I began reading this memoir, I wondered if it was going to be gloomy. But what unfolded was a masterpiece. Vibrant dialogue. Often funny, it has perfect pace. During a year when I can’t concentrate on anything, I kept opening this book to read “just one more chapter.” The setting, descriptions of people, and their interactions were totally engrossing.
This memoir walks a tightrope successfully. It looks back without nostalgia, without self pity. He discusses aging without being a downer. How can anyone do this? Ilsley’s writing prowess is THAT good. I read this book, and feel like he is writing about me, and my family. But seeing myself in a book isn’t a measure of it being good. Still, he has tapped into what so many people are trying to navigate. And he does it in an immensely entertaining way.
May 14, 2020
If I could give this book more than 5 stars I would. A phenomenal story of a son and father's relationship during the aging process. I laughed, I cried and felt frustrated at the injustice that some in society treat the elderly but thankfully there are caregivers to help.Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the opportunity to read this. I recommend that others read and enjoy. I have lived in long-term care since 2011 and I witnessed a lot of residents with their families go through some of the similar situations that were presented in the book. I now have a favorite Canadian author.
April 21, 2021
After losing my Mom last September I found myself curious about films and books that explored the relationship between children and their aging parents. Especially representations that recounted the experience of being a caregiver for an aging parent. Finding reflections of your own experience, especially experiences involving emotional pain help make the process easier. George K. Ilsley's memoir, The Home Stretch recounts the story of the time he spent with his father in their family home in Nova Scotia before his father's death.
Dealing with an aging parent forces us everyone, the parent, the child and all the caregivers that become necessary, to deal with the larger issues of life, including decreasing ability, mobility, our healthcare system and mortality. Ilsley's book tells the story of his father's decline, with a sincerity that refuses to gloss over the often difficult times that arise from these situations. It is an honest account of the process and how it can bring out the best and sometimes the worst in all involved.
Dying is complicated and fraught with all of the questions that philosopher's ponder about the meaning of life. As Ilsley recounts, this is made more difficult by those who are unable to articulate what is happening to them. Ilsley's father, a non-communicative, heterosexual man of a particular generation, reminds us that the process of aging and dying is never what we imagine or how it is romanticized in popular culture.
It is hard when the roles of a lifetime are reversed, when those who cared for you need care themselves, when they become the children and we become the parents. For aging parents this involves dependency on those they helped raise which comes with a whole set of other issues involving pride, humility and vulnerability. In the end we all must face not only the death of our parents and loved ones, but also our own mortality.
Dealing with an aging parent forces us everyone, the parent, the child and all the caregivers that become necessary, to deal with the larger issues of life, including decreasing ability, mobility, our healthcare system and mortality. Ilsley's book tells the story of his father's decline, with a sincerity that refuses to gloss over the often difficult times that arise from these situations. It is an honest account of the process and how it can bring out the best and sometimes the worst in all involved.
Dying is complicated and fraught with all of the questions that philosopher's ponder about the meaning of life. As Ilsley recounts, this is made more difficult by those who are unable to articulate what is happening to them. Ilsley's father, a non-communicative, heterosexual man of a particular generation, reminds us that the process of aging and dying is never what we imagine or how it is romanticized in popular culture.
It is hard when the roles of a lifetime are reversed, when those who cared for you need care themselves, when they become the children and we become the parents. For aging parents this involves dependency on those they helped raise which comes with a whole set of other issues involving pride, humility and vulnerability. In the end we all must face not only the death of our parents and loved ones, but also our own mortality.
July 3, 2022
Heartwarming and honest, and relatable, having just gone through something similar with my mother - different details but similar ideas and confusions and conclusions. A good thought-provoking read.
June 9, 2020
Review of George K. Ilsley’s memoir “The Home Stretch”
Twice a year, for the last five years of his father’s life, George K. Ilsley travelled from his home in Vancouver to visit his aging father in rural Nova Scotia. “The Home Stretch” engages the reader immediately in the yin and yang aspects of “going home.” Ilsley writes with great candor, a self-deprecating humor and possesses a phenomenal grasp of human nature. His book checks every box in my wheelhouse: it deals with the dynamics of inter-personal relationships, especially inter-generational between parent and child; is told with truth and honesty; and, the crème de la crème – contains a touch of the mystic!
Twice a year, for the last five years of his father’s life, George K. Ilsley travelled from his home in Vancouver to visit his aging father in rural Nova Scotia. “The Home Stretch” engages the reader immediately in the yin and yang aspects of “going home.” Ilsley writes with great candor, a self-deprecating humor and possesses a phenomenal grasp of human nature. His book checks every box in my wheelhouse: it deals with the dynamics of inter-personal relationships, especially inter-generational between parent and child; is told with truth and honesty; and, the crème de la crème – contains a touch of the mystic!
April 1, 2021
This book was a pleasant surprise! I don't normally read in this genre, and was fortunate enough to get a copy and once I started, I couldn't put it down! It is a memoir-style account of a family; refreshing and honest. It gives a detailed account of all the twists and turns we all take through the highway of life in the best way. The quirks and humor of Mr. Ilsley's family suck you into the family dynamic; the relationships between a son, brother, mother, and sister. When reading I couldn't help appreciating the story and be humbled by thoughts of my own family. I left with a lot more than I imagined.
April 22, 2022
Impeccable. Five heartfelt stars.
May 1, 2021
“There is only one way this story is going to turn out.”
Everyone has parents. Everyone’s parents die. Yet the stories where parents and death intersect are unique.
George K. Ilsley’s recent memoir tells one such story. As a young adult, George left his Nova Scotia home, heading west, eventually landing in Vancouver—as far away as he could get while remaining in North America. Then, as he turns 50, his father turns 90, and his father needs, but doesn’t especially want, Ilsley’s care.
Narrated in a gently self-deprecating voice, this book was surprisingly funny and a pleasure to read—not easy, mind, but a pleasure.
The rest of my review is hosted at River Street Writing: http://www.riverstreetwriting.com/blo...
Everyone has parents. Everyone’s parents die. Yet the stories where parents and death intersect are unique.
George K. Ilsley’s recent memoir tells one such story. As a young adult, George left his Nova Scotia home, heading west, eventually landing in Vancouver—as far away as he could get while remaining in North America. Then, as he turns 50, his father turns 90, and his father needs, but doesn’t especially want, Ilsley’s care.
Narrated in a gently self-deprecating voice, this book was surprisingly funny and a pleasure to read—not easy, mind, but a pleasure.
The rest of my review is hosted at River Street Writing: http://www.riverstreetwriting.com/blo...
December 26, 2020
That was a hard one to get through. George Ilsley painted a picture of a quick-tempered, stubborn, snappy father who in the end was so bewildered and lost. This book is so moving and honest. George Ilsley does not paint himself as a saint either. It is about a father and son . Like the title says it is about all the things they never talk about.
October 24, 2021
I thought this book was really sad, though it kept me up late, turning "just one more page." However, when I heard George read from it, I was literally laughing out loud. I missed the humour when reading alone: a strange phenomena I've experienced before; for example with Knausgaard's My Struggle. I only saw the humour in that on the second reading.
When a text like The Home Stretch is full of deeply flawed characters hurting, in this case, mostly their son, it's hard to experience comedy because we imagine being the narrator, experiencing (in this case) the rudeness, lack of acknowledgement, pain in watching a parent—even one that you've never been close to—die, wanting some closure, not getting it—we forget that the narrator/author is a separate person full of their own life and personality, not only a son yearning for his father's—if not unrequited, really, really, really hard to express—love. Maybe the war had something to do with that.
So, yes, sadness but laughter, too, in this searingly honest account of a man attempting to clean up his father's home and keep that father going in "The Home Stretch" (that title has several meanings in the book). I'd guess that the biting humour is what makes this book so appealing, allowing us to look at darkness without being consumed.
There are more books coming which is great. I look forward to hearing about Ilsley's brother, mother, sister and small New Brunswick hometown.
Now, off to find Manbug, Ilsley's first novel!
When a text like The Home Stretch is full of deeply flawed characters hurting, in this case, mostly their son, it's hard to experience comedy because we imagine being the narrator, experiencing (in this case) the rudeness, lack of acknowledgement, pain in watching a parent—even one that you've never been close to—die, wanting some closure, not getting it—we forget that the narrator/author is a separate person full of their own life and personality, not only a son yearning for his father's—if not unrequited, really, really, really hard to express—love. Maybe the war had something to do with that.
So, yes, sadness but laughter, too, in this searingly honest account of a man attempting to clean up his father's home and keep that father going in "The Home Stretch" (that title has several meanings in the book). I'd guess that the biting humour is what makes this book so appealing, allowing us to look at darkness without being consumed.
There are more books coming which is great. I look forward to hearing about Ilsley's brother, mother, sister and small New Brunswick hometown.
Now, off to find Manbug, Ilsley's first novel!
June 30, 2021
I don’t usually read memoirs but Georges book was a book club pick. I took a tad to get engaged but when I did I became immersed in George’s story. This story was heartfelt and effectively told through personal stories filled with humour, despair and hope. Throughout the book I appreciated learning about George’s journey as he learned how to reframe his perceptions and behaviors and learn new ways of accepting the present and the past. I was left wanting more questions answered.
I highly recommend this book as a book club read. Our group was able to reflect on our life experiences and relate to various areas of George’s memoir. And the best part, George joined our book group by Zoom for part of the discussion. Awesome!
I highly recommend this book as a book club read. Our group was able to reflect on our life experiences and relate to various areas of George’s memoir. And the best part, George joined our book group by Zoom for part of the discussion. Awesome!
June 18, 2020
I was delighted to be asked by Arsenal Pulp Press to review this book. Thank you for sending me a copy!
I had to start the book a few times before I got engaged in it. I found the writing to be quite dry in places. From the title I was expecting more reconciliation between father and son, and I definitely wanted to know more about George's current life...it would have made me understand him better. The ending was very powerful for me.
While I wasn't blown away by the writers style, I had to remind myself that these are real people and their real life so I feel it unfair of me to comment on the writer's skill.
I had to start the book a few times before I got engaged in it. I found the writing to be quite dry in places. From the title I was expecting more reconciliation between father and son, and I definitely wanted to know more about George's current life...it would have made me understand him better. The ending was very powerful for me.
While I wasn't blown away by the writers style, I had to remind myself that these are real people and their real life so I feel it unfair of me to comment on the writer's skill.
September 11, 2025
Ilsley writes about reality of elder care, the one-sided wounds of growing up, and the impossibility of changing our parents into who we want/need them to be. Consequently, there’s a lot of frustration in this book, from him for all the things his father failed to be for him, from his father at the indignities of old age, and from both at the utter difficulty of giving/accepting help when the emotional relationship is so broken. An honest and unflinching look at what awaits us all, in kind if not in degree.
May 30, 2020
Reading about Ilsley’s journey to discover more about his relationship with his aging father felt real and a little too familiar. The things that frighten us about our past are amplified when we can see the sand is running low in the hourglass. Ilsley’s courage and perseverance to heal the wounds and rashes accumulated over a lifetime, is inspiring. His descriptions of rural life and small town accommodations are heartwarming. A good read during these isolated times.
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