Sevgi İçin Doğmak

by Leo F. Buscaglia, Mehmet Harmancı (Translator)

Hayatımızda sevgi olduğu vakit kendimizi daha heyecanlı, yaratıcı ve daha üretici hissederiz. Sevgi olmayınca da hayatımız boş ve manasızdır. Bazı insanlar sevginin bir seçenek olmasını kabulde güçlük çekeceklerdir. Bu aşkın doğuştan varolduğu ve onun kabulden başka birşey gerekmediği romantik aşk kuramına ters düşüyor gibi görünecektir. Bu kuram bizi, sevginin her türlü acıdan kurtaran ve her sorunu çözen, kendi başına bir amaç olan büyülü bir güç olduğuna götürür.Leo Buscaglia, "Sevgi İçin Doğmak" kitabında sevginin, yalnızlığa, korkuya ve üzüntülere karşı bir seçenek olduğunu öğütler. Buscaglia bizi, düşünmeye, hissetmeye ve sevgi için birşeyler yapmaya teşvik eder. Sevgiyi bir yaşam tarzı yapar. İş sevmeye gelince fırsatlar sınırsızdır. Çünkü, "O" bizde olan bir tanrı vergisidir.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Love, Psychology, Spirituality, Relationships, Personal Development

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1992

About the author

known as "Dr. Love"

Dr. Felice Leonardo Buscaglia Ph.D. was a professor in the Department of Special Education at the University of Southern California. He was a graduate of Theodore Roosevelt High School (Los Angeles).

Leo Buscaglia authored a number of New York Times bestselling inspirational books on love and human reticences on the subject, including The Fall of Freddie the Leaf, Bus 9 to Paradise, Living Loving and Learning, Love and My Father. In lectures he often protested, in outrage at the comparative absence of writings on the subject, "I got the copyright for love!!!"

Reviews

[Nate Bagley · Rating 5 out of 5]

If Leo Buscaglia were alive today, he would have a blog, and this book would be a compilation of his blog posts. If the purpose of this book was to get me thinking differently about the way I love, and to raise my awareness of the ways others struggle with love, then it was 100% successful.

[Μαρία · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Ένας καλός δρόμος προς την αυτογνωσία είναι να υποβάλλουμε στον εαυτό μας ερωτήσεις και να τις απαντάμε με ειλικρίνεια.
Πάνω σ' αυτήν την ιδέα,θα ήθελα να προτείνω μερικές ερωτήσεις για το 'τέλος της ημέρας'...
-Είναι κανείς λίγο πιο ευτυχισμένος επειδή ήρθε σ' επαφή μαζί μου σήμερα;
-Άφησα κάποια συγκεκριμένη απόδειξη της καλοσύνης μου,κάποιο σημάδι της αγάπης μου;
-Προσπάθησα να σκεφτώ κάποιον που γνωρίζω από πιο θετική σκοπιά;
-Βοήθησα κανέναν να νιώσει χαρά,να γελάσει-ή τουλάχιστον να χαμογελάσει;
-Προσπάθησα ν' αφαιρέσω λίγη από τη σκουριά που διαβρώνει τις σχέσεις μου;
-Πέρασα τη μέρα χωρίς να παραπονεθώ για όσα δεν έχω εκτιμώντας όσα έχω;
-Συγχώρησα άλλους που δεν ήταν τέλειοι;
-Συγχώρησα τον εαυτό μου;
-Έμαθα κάτι καινούριο για τη ζωή ή την αγάπη;
Αν δεν είστε ικανοποιημένοι από τις απαντήσεις σας,μη χάνετε το κουράγιο σας.
Αύριο θα ξεκινήσετε πάλι από την αρχή!
Πρόκειται για ένα κουίζ στο οποίο αποκλείεται ν' αποτύχετε-αρκεί να το θελήσετε!
....για να δικαιούμαι την ευτυχία μου,πρέπει όχι μόνο να την κερδίσω για τον εαυτό μου,αλλά και να τη μοιράσω.
...Η αγάπη μάς προσφέρει την πιο πλούσια εμπειρία για την οποία είμαστε ικανοί ως άνθρωποι.Και περιμένει μόνο μια απόφαση εκ μέρους μας για να λειτουργήσει.Πάρτε τη και ένας ολόκληρος κόσμος αγάπης θα γίνει δικός σας!
Είμαστε πράγματι γεννημένοι ν' αγαπάμε."

[ZaRi]

شب، زمان مناسبی است که بیندیشیم چه کرده ایم تا جهان، بهتر و شفیق تر و دوست داشتنی تر از پیش شود.
اگر پاسخی هم نبود، باز شب وقت خوبی است که ببینیم از دستمان چه کاری برمی آید. لازم نیست کاری کنیم کارستان. می شود به امور دست به نقد و ساده پرداخت: تلفنی که هنوز نزده ایم، نوشتن نامه ای که بی خیالش شده ایم، تلافی کردن لطفی که نتوانسته ایم پاسخ دهیم. برای بخشیدن عشق، فرصت نامحدود است و در دسترس همگان.

[Amanda C · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my all time favorite books. I live by the messages in this book! It's filled with short inpiring stories and theories of how to love your best.

[Mel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed something to read that was uplifting during this pandemic, and Leo Buscaglia always provides light in the darkness.

[Georgia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Όποια πράξη περιορίζει δεν είναι αγάπη. Η αγάπη είναι αγάπη μόνο όταν απελευθερώνει.

[Armando Alcazar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love it! Leo Buscaglia is a special writer, he transmits his love remarkably in this book. I bought this book just because the title seems like the very me, however it is so much better than expected! I think Italians (like this author) express love as deep as Spanish/Latino people, love without frontiers without a special interest, love because we born for love!

[Kristen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Slightly cheesy but pretty much what you'd expect from a book with this title. :)
I have been revisiting the ideas presented in a Love and Morality Seminar I took in college. I think they used both this author's works and C.S. Lewis as reference material. It's very interesting.

[Gemini · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am totally digging this book so far. It's not like a huge long book that tells a story or anything, kind of like different sayings or snippets that are different on each page but each has its own message which is pretty neat.

[Nathan Albright · Rating 2 out of 5]

It is easy to see why someone who was in a rush to purchase books for a voracious reader would see this book and think it a likely one for me to enjoy. When I was reading it in the break room this afternoon at work, I was asked if I was reading a romance novel, and I had to demur, since this is most definitely not a romance novel. Yet my coworker was onto something, in that this book is about romantic love, as well as love in other, more vague and general senses, and the person who bought this book for me would have likely not purchased it had she read it more than a little before buying it in a rush. The reason for that is indicated quite plainly by the author himself, a former professor of a "love class" at the University of Southern California [1] where I attended my undergraduate studies, which coincidentally enough did not include this particular course, when he says: "Our goal, after all, is humanness, not godliness (154)." My criticisms of this book, and they are many, do not detract from the fact that the author is right that we are born for love, and and they are distinct from the fact that the author concedes he was viewed as nut for setting up a college course as a tenured professor at USC in the study and practice of love. He was entirely right to undertake the task, albeit entirely wrongheaded in his approach, as he was aiming at the wrong goal. The goal is godliness after all.

The contents of this book read almost like a parody of New Age ruminations on love and the sort of quotes that appear on fortune cookies or page a day motivational calendars. Most of the book consists of short reflections by the author, often containing a family story or some sort of reference to Eastern religious thought and practice or Western philosophy, with a related quote by a famous person on the bottom of the page. Some pages are filled with what the author believes to be encouraging quotes on lavender paper, like "Giving in as an important kind of giving when people love each other (173)." Many of the thoughts are repetitive, and the author's insistence that love has been viewed rather vaguely because of the cynicism of people (likely people like me are in view here) and because love has been dealt with by amateurs instead of college professors like him strikes one a bit hollow when the book itself is very vague. The Greeks famously had four words for love--storge for familial affection, eros for romantic love, phileo for friendship, and agape for self-sacrificial love, but the author's use of love is very vague, and mostly focuses on romantic love along with some comments about friendship and family [2]. The fact that the author nearly entirely ignores the Bible but quotes Lakota wisdom and a lot of references to Buddhism as well as a few to Taoism also suggests that this author is himself an amateur when dealing with love, since there are no references to 1 Corinthians 13 and only one very brief and superficial reference to the Golden Rule. This level of ignorance and imprecision about love does not speak highly as to one's competence in dealing with the serious subject of love.

Perhaps just as serious is the fact that the author is so wildly inconsistent and even paradoxical in his advice and counsel. He cannot decide, for example, if fear is responsible for people saying no or if no is what gives definition to a yes. He cannot decide if self-esteem is the foundation of our ability to love others or if our natural egoism is too much of a barrier to loving and losing ourselves in others, but yet remaining two people growing independently as well as together. He cannot decide if the focus on continual improvement and self-education is of pivotal importance or if love is so simple that it is viewed as cliche by others. Indeed, it is likely that this book is to be viewed as cliche by many of its readers, although I cannot imagine there being many readers for this particular book, except among those who appreciate new age positive psychology, and those who are reading about its humanistic views on love from the point of view of the opening wedge of Buddhist thought in academia and public culture. The book even makes a subtle appeal to views on reincarnation, a view that has gotten much less subtle in other recent efforts [3]. In the end, this book is contradictory and shallow, and represents the sort of amateur and slapdash approach to love that its author deplores in others. Nevertheless, even saying all this, the advice given here would be an improvement upon the way that many people approach the matter of love. It is little wonder, therefore, that so many of our lives are a mess when it comes to this painful and unpleasant subject matter.

[1] See, for example:

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https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

[2] See, for example:

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https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

[3] See, for example:

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

https://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress...

[Khodam · Rating 4 out of 5]

برخی گمان می کنند با تغییر محل سکونت، آدمهای تازه دور خود جمع کردن، تغییر شغل یا مسافرت می توانند از شرّ مشکلاتشان خلاص شوند.
فراموش می کنند که هر جا بروند خودشان را همراه میبرند.

نمیتوانیم از آنچه که هستیم فرار کنیم
اگر در شیکاگو افسرده باشیم، در لوس آنجلس هم احساس افسردگی خواهیم کرد.
با تغییر صحنه ممکن است مدتی اوضاع بهتر بنماید، با این حال رفته رفته همان رفتارهای پیشین را در پیش خواهیم گرفت، همان کمبودها، همان روحیّه، همان احساسها باز به سراغمان خواهد آمد.

این امر در عشق هم صادق است .
به زعم خودمان انتخابمان نادرست بوده است، بنابراین توقّف می کنیم و با کس دیگری همسفر می شویم.
روز از نو روزی از نو !
باز هم چندی احساس خوشبختی میکنیم و با کسی دیگر همسفر می شویم .
دیری نمیگذرد که در می یابیم هنوز اندر خم همان کوچه اوّلیم، مضطرب، ناخوشبخت و زیاده خواه.

دگرگونی ها را باید در درون محقّق کنیم نه در بیرون.
همین است و بس!
میتوان انتخاب کرد، اما نمیتوان از رنج حاصل از انتخاب در امان ماند.

[Teresa Biggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Each page is a short essay on a topic of love, " love is not a private affair", "keeping fear n balance","viable alternatives in loving", and " losing" for example. Then on the bottom of the page is a quote that usually has something to do with the essay. Some of the essays really touched me or made me rethink my own thoughts on love or just got me thinking. Some were boring and I even tried rereading them to see if I was missing something. I suspect that if I was to reread this book in a few years, different essays would call to me. Very easy read... no something you need to read right through .. but pick a few and read a few each day

[Nefertiti · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like Buscaglia. Reading his books is like having a massage. It's soothing!
All his thoughts put into paper are like a friendly chat. A chat with your grandpa, let's say. There are no "how to's" here, just plain thoughts. Thoughts that focus on understanding other people, accepting that they differ but may mean well just like you. And it's a good boost for your self esteem!
I would highly recommend this book to people who need just a little push to keep on believing. Believing in themselves, their love life, dreams, humankind... Actually toss any self help book you've recently read. Pick this one. You can never go wrong with Buscaglia!

[Pía Molina · Rating 2 out of 5]

No suelo leer cosas sobre el amor. Este como otro de los pocos, me empalagan! y siento que se escribe según como uno lo vive, por ende el que lee no lo ve igual. Será, simplemente, que no coincidí todavía con la forma de amar de un autor.

[Nhung Nguyễn · Rating 5 out of 5]

LOve stories are hot-point to discuss, thanks to this book makes me calm down with my ex and future loving.

[Tassos Bog · Rating 5 out of 5]

Λίγο πριν φύγει το 2017 τελείωσα το βιβλίο αυτό που είναι ένα βιβλίο που πρέπει να το διαβάσουν όλοι. Χρήσιμες συμβουλές για την αγάπη και όχι μόνο!

[Nicole Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

We forget how to love - this is a gentle reminder.

[Kleanthi · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5 stars

[Miss M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reminds us how to be more loving and how easy it is to achieve it.
I recommend this book for anyone who is trying to fund ways to be more kind and loving

[Leer es Pensar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quizás uno de los mejores libros de Buscaglia

[Stacie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, insightful readings on the central place of love and loving in the human heart. ❤️

[Georgia Tzortzatou · Rating 3 out of 5]

3stars.Not for me.

[Doni · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was surprisingly good.

[Shernell Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great to have for a long time.

[Marilou · Rating 3 out of 5]

Καλό, αλλά δε χρειάζεται να το διαβάσετε, εκτός κι αν είστε πολύ μεγάλοι φαν του Leo Buscaglia

[ioanna ⭑ · Rating 1 out of 5]

dnf. this was not really a book, more like a collection of really obvious quotes and i rlly didnt want to read 400 pages of it

[Brisa Baigorria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Me encanto!! Te hace ver la vida de otra realidad

[Nate Fetterolf · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful writing. I love this guy and I love love!

[Eva · Rating 5 out of 5]

En vacker bok, med citat från när och fjärran. Men man måste möta den vid rätt tillfälle i livet. För den är som ett potpurri av tankar, kring det mest ogripbara av allt - Kärlek. Man måste få den när man mest behöver den, och inte envisas med att missförstå. För mellan pärmarna samsas alla möjliga och omöjliga ingångar och motsatser.

Jag fann den för 30 år sedan, just när jag behövde den som mest, och jag förgyllde den med understrykningar i glada färger så snart något berörde mig. När jag nu läst om den, så många år senare, är det ofta andra formuleringar som känns mig närmare. Boken blir som en uppslagsbok, att vid behov låta fingret landa på en valfri sidan, eller blunda och vänta på själens svar, för att få en styrketår.

[An Nguyễn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has been in my house for nearly a decade. I don't know who bought it, how or why. I just picked it out of boredom to kill time. I didn't realize what I was missing or how those short teachings could bring peace in my mind. Yes, I am in a stage of life where things seem to be messy and out of control. I helplessly slip back to feeling frustrated almost all of the time. And this book helped me to see things in a new perspective, that despite every hardship I've been through, I need to keep my heart full of light and love.
I truly appreciate this book. And no, it picked me. 🖤