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Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn’t Designed for You
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A paradigm-shifting study of neurodivergent women—those with ADHD, autism, synesthesia, high sensitivity, and sensory processing disorder—exploring why these traits are overlooked in women and how society benefits from allowing their unique strengths to flourish . As a successful Harvard and Berkeley-educated writer, entrepreneur, and devoted mother, Jenara Nerenberg was shocked to discover that her “symptoms”--only ever labeled as anxiety-- were considered autistic and ADHD. Being a journalist, she dove into the research and uncovered neurodiversity—a framework that moves away from pathologizing “abnormal” versus “normal” brains and instead recognizes the vast diversity of our mental makeups. When it comes to women, sensory processing differences are often overlooked, masked, or mistaken for something else entirely. Between a flawed system that focuses on diagnosing younger, male populations, and the fact that girls are conditioned from a young age to blend in and conform to gender expectations, women often don’t learn about their neurological differences until they are adults, if at all. As a result, potentially millions live with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed neurodivergences, and the misidentification leads to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and shame. Meanwhile, we all miss out on the gifts their neurodivergent minds have to offer. Divergent Mind is a long-overdue, much-needed answer for women who have a deep sense that they are “different.” Sharing real stories from women with high sensitivity, ADHD, autism, misophonia, dyslexia, SPD and more, Nerenberg explores how these brain variances present differently in women and dispels widely-held misconceptions (for example, it’s not that autistic people lack sensitivity and empathy, they have an overwhelming excess of it). Nerenberg also offers us a path forward, describing practical changes in how we communicate, how we design our surroundings, and how we can better support divergent minds. When we allow our wide variety of brain makeups to flourish, we create a better tomorrow for us all.
A paradigm-shifting study of neurodivergent women—those with ADHD, autism, synesthesia, high sensitivity, and sensory processing disorder—exploring why these traits are overlooked in women and how society benefits from allowing their unique strengths to flourish . As a successful Harvard and Berkeley-educated writer, entrepreneur, and devoted mother, Jenara Nerenberg was shocked to discover that her “symptoms”--only ever labeled as anxiety-- were considered autistic and ADHD. Being a journalist, she dove into the research and uncovered neurodiversity—a framework that moves away from pathologizing “abnormal” versus “normal” brains and instead recognizes the vast diversity of our mental makeups. When it comes to women, sensory processing differences are often overlooked, masked, or mistaken for something else entirely. Between a flawed system that focuses on diagnosing younger, male populations, and the fact that girls are conditioned from a young age to blend in and conform to gender expectations, women often don’t learn about their neurological differences until they are adults, if at all. As a result, potentially millions live with undiagnosed or misdiagnosed neurodivergences, and the misidentification leads to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and shame. Meanwhile, we all miss out on the gifts their neurodivergent minds have to offer. Divergent Mind is a long-overdue, much-needed answer for women who have a deep sense that they are “different.” Sharing real stories from women with high sensitivity, ADHD, autism, misophonia, dyslexia, SPD and more, Nerenberg explores how these brain variances present differently in women and dispels widely-held misconceptions (for example, it’s not that autistic people lack sensitivity and empathy, they have an overwhelming excess of it). Nerenberg also offers us a path forward, describing practical changes in how we communicate, how we design our surroundings, and how we can better support divergent minds. When we allow our wide variety of brain makeups to flourish, we create a better tomorrow for us all.
256 pages, Paperback
First published March 24, 2020
3281 people are currently reading
18278 people want to read
About the author
Jenara Nerenberg
8 books140 followersJenara is a journalist, producer, speaker, and founder of The Neurodiversity Project, hosting bestselling authors in the arts and sciences who push for innovation in research and media. Based in San Francisco, Jenara is a SF native who returned to the area after 6 years of international reporting from Asia and interdisciplinary graduate training from the Harvard School of Public Health, Harvard Kennedy School of Government, MIT Sloan School of Management, and Harvard Business School. Her recent events include sold-out evenings with Gabor Mate, Pico Iyer, Dr. Joel Salinas of Harvard Neurology, author Maya Dusenbery, Angel Kyodo Williams, Lissa Rankin, NYTimes bestselling author Bill Hayes, designer Scott Belsky of 99U and numerous others. Jenara continues to write and curate author initiatives for the UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center, Susan Cain's Quiet Revolution, Garrison Institute in NY, Elaine Aron's HSP site, and elsewhere. Jenara is known for her warm and personal style, not shying away from delivering fierce and vulnerable insights from not only scientific research but also lived experience. Her clients and previous speaking engagements include the Stanford Graduate School of Business, Tahirih Justice Center, Park Day School, OZY Media, the Aspen Ideas Festival, and others. She can be booked at the button below or reached directly at community@divergentlit.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,080 reviews
September 5, 2020
I wanted to like this book. I wanted to say that it was helpful in my life as a late-diagnosed autistic person. But it wasn't.
This book is geared towards late-diagnosed autistic women who are able to have a "normal" job, given sufficient sensory and social accommodations. (I'm not a woman, but since I spent my first 18 years of my life perceived in all my offline social spheres as a girl, my experiences from then are more like late-diagnosed autistic women's than late-diagnosed autistic men's.) I am unable to work, and so I found the suggestions largely irrelevant to my life.
I kept reading in hopes that the author might criticize the idea of productivity as one that harms disabled people whether they're like me or not, but such criticism never came. I found the author's treatment of the problems that undiagnosed autistic women experience at the hands of psychiatry lacking, especially with respect to race. Unmasking is something that has many more risks for autistic Black women and autistic women of color than for autistic white women.
The author's passing endorsement of training cops about ways autistic traits can look like disobedience feels especially ignorant, given the amount of young autistic Black men and women who have been arrested or assaulted by police who knew they were autistic. If this book were published prior to the Black Lives Matter movement's founding rather than in 2020, I might have let that slide. But it has become common knowledge in autistic advocacy that training cops about autism hasn't resulted in cops treating Black autistic people any better.
I'm frustrated by this book. It contains a lot of suggestions that are probably very helpful for autistic people who do work "normal" jobs, for making their workspace more comfortable. This book wasn't the book I thought it would be.
This book is geared towards late-diagnosed autistic women who are able to have a "normal" job, given sufficient sensory and social accommodations. (I'm not a woman, but since I spent my first 18 years of my life perceived in all my offline social spheres as a girl, my experiences from then are more like late-diagnosed autistic women's than late-diagnosed autistic men's.) I am unable to work, and so I found the suggestions largely irrelevant to my life.
I kept reading in hopes that the author might criticize the idea of productivity as one that harms disabled people whether they're like me or not, but such criticism never came. I found the author's treatment of the problems that undiagnosed autistic women experience at the hands of psychiatry lacking, especially with respect to race. Unmasking is something that has many more risks for autistic Black women and autistic women of color than for autistic white women.
The author's passing endorsement of training cops about ways autistic traits can look like disobedience feels especially ignorant, given the amount of young autistic Black men and women who have been arrested or assaulted by police who knew they were autistic. If this book were published prior to the Black Lives Matter movement's founding rather than in 2020, I might have let that slide. But it has become common knowledge in autistic advocacy that training cops about autism hasn't resulted in cops treating Black autistic people any better.
I'm frustrated by this book. It contains a lot of suggestions that are probably very helpful for autistic people who do work "normal" jobs, for making their workspace more comfortable. This book wasn't the book I thought it would be.
June 15, 2021
Oh, a disappointment.
I am both neurodivergent (ADHD) and a therapist, I have so many criticisms. I'll start with the actual writing itself: definitely needed more editing, topics do not flow well into one another, and the surface level coverage of too many topics ends up feeling disorganized altogether. This title definitely was going for breadth not depth.
As other reviewers have complained, the author is way too generous with generalizations and focuses on highly successful women who are diagnosed later in life. What about the women who drop out of high school, unable to graduate? The women who struggle to care for their children because they are overwhelmed and have been given no answers? The woman who are simply average? What about non-binary individuals? What about women with ADHD or Autism who don't identify as a Highly Sensitive Person?
What about Women of color? Since the book is about Gender and neurodivergence, I don't expect a deep dive on Race and ADHD/Autism however given how recently this work was published I find the sparse mentioning of race to be inadequate. It ends up feeling really "White Feminist" to spend so much time speaking about gender and gender alone.
I also must criticize the amount of time that is spend grouping typical human behavior into neurodivergence. Mirror Neurons are a staple of bonding and evolution, if you don't have mirror neurons firing off you gonna have big problems. This isn't to say that there aren't people who experence mirroring so intense that it is distressing, however the author doesn't make this distinction clear. Another small example is "being moved by art or music." ???? Girl no, the reason art and music are so globally popular is that they move people. Stop.
I could go on, but must rest now (note: the book suggests that needing rest is a sign of neurodivergence. I posit here that it is actually a sign of being a living creature.)
I am both neurodivergent (ADHD) and a therapist, I have so many criticisms. I'll start with the actual writing itself: definitely needed more editing, topics do not flow well into one another, and the surface level coverage of too many topics ends up feeling disorganized altogether. This title definitely was going for breadth not depth.
As other reviewers have complained, the author is way too generous with generalizations and focuses on highly successful women who are diagnosed later in life. What about the women who drop out of high school, unable to graduate? The women who struggle to care for their children because they are overwhelmed and have been given no answers? The woman who are simply average? What about non-binary individuals? What about women with ADHD or Autism who don't identify as a Highly Sensitive Person?
What about Women of color? Since the book is about Gender and neurodivergence, I don't expect a deep dive on Race and ADHD/Autism however given how recently this work was published I find the sparse mentioning of race to be inadequate. It ends up feeling really "White Feminist" to spend so much time speaking about gender and gender alone.
I also must criticize the amount of time that is spend grouping typical human behavior into neurodivergence. Mirror Neurons are a staple of bonding and evolution, if you don't have mirror neurons firing off you gonna have big problems. This isn't to say that there aren't people who experence mirroring so intense that it is distressing, however the author doesn't make this distinction clear. Another small example is "being moved by art or music." ???? Girl no, the reason art and music are so globally popular is that they move people. Stop.
I could go on, but must rest now (note: the book suggests that needing rest is a sign of neurodivergence. I posit here that it is actually a sign of being a living creature.)
May 24, 2020
I really wanted to like this but i found it remarkably tone deaf such as including examples that amazons all neurodivergent group is the most productive and its so much easier to discuss mental health since the royals are doing so or perhaps your sensory issues can be helped by changing neighborhoods. Also a large focus is on highly successful entrepreneurial individuals, further alienating the average high functioning autist. A bummer! I wanted some company. Reads as an extremely out of touch hr manual which is especially jarring considering how much passion the author clearly has for the topic.
January 12, 2021
I agree with a lot of people who are slightly put off with this book because it doesn’t really dive deep enough into different types of neurodivergent women who fall into these spectrums. For example there are a lot of interviews about women who work in tech or academia who have found their niche within their company and it has brought out the best in them and their neurodivergencies. I feel that the author collected a lot of stories from women that were closer to her economic social circles, which is fine, but I’m very much a working class woman who was looking for more help navigating the struggles I have within my social class, which I didn’t find in this book. However, I take this book as the first crack in the ice and hopefully will expand general awareness and more research for authors to expand their knowledge and aid to all types of women who are neurodivergent. This book was a great first step into understanding women who are neurodivergent and how certain women have adapted and struggled because of their “differences”. This was a quick read and I’m glad to have come across it because it has opened my mind to more awareness and really gave me quite a few personal “ah ha!” moments. Worth the read but may make you crave for a deeper dive of a book which hopefully is on the way from Jenara or other authors.
May 24, 2020
Many thanks to HarperOne for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review
YES! YES! YES!
I loved that. Every page! I know that most of my audience isn't as passionate about psychology as I am so I understand if you don't understand why I love this book which is totally fair.
I love this book because it really spoke to me and made me feel understood. I have, as the author put it, a divergent mind. The systems that the world uses don't work for me and why they don't work for most people.
I loved that Nerenberg explained all of the ways the brain functions out of the norm and how to deal with this. How to, as the title says, thrive in a world that isn't currently designed for thinkers like us.
If you ever think to yourself Why do I struggle so much with... or Why does everyone else... or How come my brain does..., this book is for you!
Happy reading!
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October 22, 2021
I was incredibly disappointed with Divergent Mind. This book is only for cishet white women working in white collar jobs.
To start, the author looked at neurodivergences with the most limited view: from the lens of a white cishet woman from a financially privileged background with pretty much no effort to look outside that narrow view.
Throughout the book the author mentions solutions that were not applicable to others. People that may be in a different socioeconomic group, differing sexualities or gender identities (those of us socialized as women, but no longer identifying as women), or women of color. This doesn't even begin to cover the blaring and obvious class dissonance in the author's mind. People can't just "move neighborhoods" or seek out every therapy that exists to help themselves.
Additionally, this book was released in 2020, which is enough time for the author and anyone else involved in this book to learn that terms like "high functioning" and "low functioning" are outdated and harmful. As well as the fact that Asperger's is no longer a diagnosis. This is the most disappointing part of the book to me. The author touts on about how much reasearch she conducted for the book and how much she enjoys researching, and then uses terms that are harmful and outdated.
Overall... Not worth the read. I've found better information on TikTok.
To start, the author looked at neurodivergences with the most limited view: from the lens of a white cishet woman from a financially privileged background with pretty much no effort to look outside that narrow view.
Throughout the book the author mentions solutions that were not applicable to others. People that may be in a different socioeconomic group, differing sexualities or gender identities (those of us socialized as women, but no longer identifying as women), or women of color. This doesn't even begin to cover the blaring and obvious class dissonance in the author's mind. People can't just "move neighborhoods" or seek out every therapy that exists to help themselves.
Additionally, this book was released in 2020, which is enough time for the author and anyone else involved in this book to learn that terms like "high functioning" and "low functioning" are outdated and harmful. As well as the fact that Asperger's is no longer a diagnosis. This is the most disappointing part of the book to me. The author touts on about how much reasearch she conducted for the book and how much she enjoys researching, and then uses terms that are harmful and outdated.
Overall... Not worth the read. I've found better information on TikTok.
March 29, 2022
Honestly disappointing. For a book published in 2020, you'd think that the author would realize that "Asperger's" is outdated, or at least mention it (or it's historical connotations). There was just so much focus on "Well, look! We can still make things and be smart! We aren't like those other bad disabled people!" Really rubbed me the wrong way.
And I'll save my criticisms of treating "Highly Sensitive Person" like an actual diagnosis because oh my god.
And I'll save my criticisms of treating "Highly Sensitive Person" like an actual diagnosis because oh my god.
March 21, 2020
I was very much looking forward to reading this, as the premise is laudable/something I am selfishly interested in, and I was extremely disappointed afterward. I think this would be useful for someone who is completely new to any of the forms of neurodivergence contained within the book, but otherwise this isn’t that great.
The most interesting insight contained in the whole book is a couple (un-cited) paragraphs about the design of the environment/architecture as a function of European desires to demonstrate extreme restraint, and how that can be at odds with the optimal contexts for a woman of neurodivergence.
The writing is approachable (I read the whole thing in 2 hours) but it’s not thoroughly citing research, and in many cases obliquely mentions papers by year and journal without author or title, without listing in footnotes or endnotes. Mostly it’s an overgeneralization/simplifications of other, better books that the author herself mentions in the text and that I myself have read.
The most interesting insight contained in the whole book is a couple (un-cited) paragraphs about the design of the environment/architecture as a function of European desires to demonstrate extreme restraint, and how that can be at odds with the optimal contexts for a woman of neurodivergence.
The writing is approachable (I read the whole thing in 2 hours) but it’s not thoroughly citing research, and in many cases obliquely mentions papers by year and journal without author or title, without listing in footnotes or endnotes. Mostly it’s an overgeneralization/simplifications of other, better books that the author herself mentions in the text and that I myself have read.
January 17, 2022
I picked this up because as an autistic woman, I'm always looking for new books about neurodiversity, but I was honestly quite disappointed.
The author uses the term 'Aspergers' multiple times, without saying anything about the history of that term. I found it confusing because early on, they caution against using terms without researching their origins. I was shocked to see that this book was published in 2020 and still uses that term.
The framing of most neurodivergent traits as positive differences is nice, but glosses over the struggles of people who have higher support needs. More acceptance and understanding of neurodiversity is important, but we can't sweep under the rug that there are individuals who need their differences to be considered deficits in order to get accommodations in the workplace and classroom.
There is a lot of discussion around HSP, with no mention of the harmful and incorrect things Elaine Aron has said about autism. You can still go to her website on the Wayback machine and read them. It feels like a glaring oversight and overall proof of a lack of research.
I was also extremely confused about the focus on 'sensitivity' as if that was the only qualifier for being neurodivergent. My sensory issues are a big part of my experience as an autistic woman, but it's nowhere near the only one.
Overall, as an autistic person, I would not want someone I know to read this book and think that this is representative of my experience. The author did not seem to do much research or pay attention to the hundreds of books in either autism studies or disability studies. It felt like everyone interviewed was a professionally successful woman, there is no mention of blue collar work and nothing on the massive racial disparities that currently exist.
She even mentions the show Atypical at one point (a show that has been criticized for the way it presents autism) to make a point when she could have easily found real-world stories that highlight the danger autistic people face when encountering the police.
The author uses the term 'Aspergers' multiple times, without saying anything about the history of that term. I found it confusing because early on, they caution against using terms without researching their origins. I was shocked to see that this book was published in 2020 and still uses that term.
The framing of most neurodivergent traits as positive differences is nice, but glosses over the struggles of people who have higher support needs. More acceptance and understanding of neurodiversity is important, but we can't sweep under the rug that there are individuals who need their differences to be considered deficits in order to get accommodations in the workplace and classroom.
There is a lot of discussion around HSP, with no mention of the harmful and incorrect things Elaine Aron has said about autism. You can still go to her website on the Wayback machine and read them. It feels like a glaring oversight and overall proof of a lack of research.
I was also extremely confused about the focus on 'sensitivity' as if that was the only qualifier for being neurodivergent. My sensory issues are a big part of my experience as an autistic woman, but it's nowhere near the only one.
Overall, as an autistic person, I would not want someone I know to read this book and think that this is representative of my experience. The author did not seem to do much research or pay attention to the hundreds of books in either autism studies or disability studies. It felt like everyone interviewed was a professionally successful woman, there is no mention of blue collar work and nothing on the massive racial disparities that currently exist.
She even mentions the show Atypical at one point (a show that has been criticized for the way it presents autism) to make a point when she could have easily found real-world stories that highlight the danger autistic people face when encountering the police.
January 23, 2026
This book switched on a light in my brain I didn’t know I needed.
Recommended to me by a health care professional, I borrowed the audiobook through Libby and the library and it immediately felt like someone had switched on a light inside my brain. Every few minutes I caught myself thinking so that is why I struggle with this or that is why I feel so different. It was such a powerful rush of recognition and relief.
Hearing more about Elaine Aron and the Highly Sensitive Person was a highlight. I love reading about her. She is up there with the Marsha Linehans for me. I am absolutely all of those things and yet so many GPs have never even heard the term HSP. I still cannot believe how often I have tried to explain it only to watch the whole conversation evaporate. The confusion the lack of understanding the way the moment just slips away. It is frustrating and isolating and this book made me feel seen in a way those moments never have.
I talked about this book to so many friends and family and I went straight down the rabbit hole. Working in a library means I am surrounded by books and ideas every day which creates information overload to the extreme and this one felt especially personal. The author is relatable and knowledgeable and delivers information in a way that feels steady and reassuring. She mentions other books I now want to explore and I know I will return to this one again. Next time I want to read it at a gentler pace when I am not quite so heightened.
I am taking with me the reminder that I am not a deficit. I am different. The masking the shifting the constant awareness that others see me as something they cannot quite name. It is real but it is not a flaw. Hearing her perspective felt like someone finally giving language to the things I have carried for years.
This is absolutely a reread for me. And maybe a re review when it is not two months after finishing because expecting my brain to remember anything in any detail is honestly hilarious.
Recommended to me by a health care professional, I borrowed the audiobook through Libby and the library and it immediately felt like someone had switched on a light inside my brain. Every few minutes I caught myself thinking so that is why I struggle with this or that is why I feel so different. It was such a powerful rush of recognition and relief.
Hearing more about Elaine Aron and the Highly Sensitive Person was a highlight. I love reading about her. She is up there with the Marsha Linehans for me. I am absolutely all of those things and yet so many GPs have never even heard the term HSP. I still cannot believe how often I have tried to explain it only to watch the whole conversation evaporate. The confusion the lack of understanding the way the moment just slips away. It is frustrating and isolating and this book made me feel seen in a way those moments never have.
I talked about this book to so many friends and family and I went straight down the rabbit hole. Working in a library means I am surrounded by books and ideas every day which creates information overload to the extreme and this one felt especially personal. The author is relatable and knowledgeable and delivers information in a way that feels steady and reassuring. She mentions other books I now want to explore and I know I will return to this one again. Next time I want to read it at a gentler pace when I am not quite so heightened.
I am taking with me the reminder that I am not a deficit. I am different. The masking the shifting the constant awareness that others see me as something they cannot quite name. It is real but it is not a flaw. Hearing her perspective felt like someone finally giving language to the things I have carried for years.
This is absolutely a reread for me. And maybe a re review when it is not two months after finishing because expecting my brain to remember anything in any detail is honestly hilarious.
January 12, 2022
Oof. This was yet another book by a well-meaning, cis-het, middle- to upper-class, white woman that just…totally missed the mark. For starters, the writer has no voice; I’ve read academic journals articles with more personality. This makes the book a dull read from the start. The writer tries to give small critiques of capitalism, systems of oppression, and their affect on mental health and neurodivergency, but the rest of her book points to just how uneducated she is in these areas. Her suggestions for advocating and accommodating for yourself include up and moving to quieter, less stressful neighborhoods; quitting your job; going to the doctor and therapist and psychiatrist and specialist regularly; how to make the offices of corporate America and Silicon Valley more accommodating…essentially, it’s some pretty “meh” advice for people who have money, access to healthcare, and work for companies like Verizon and other big tech companies or architecture firms or universities. The whole book came across, again, as well-meaning, but overall pretty oblivious to neurodivergency (and life in general) outside the bounds of cis-het, affluent whiteness. While some of the earlier chapters in the book gave helpful definitions for different neurodivergencies, I recommend looking into other sources like, you know, Google and Instagram for the same exact information that’s most likely presented in a less privileged manner.
March 1, 2021
This book left me wondering who exactly this book was written for, the individual neurodivergent, or for those who have the power to enact systemic change?
The first part of the book was good. Her inclusion of Samantha Craft's list of ways that autism can present in women was instrumental for me to recognize it in myself, and am now working to get psychological testing.
The section of the book about the workplace? Absolutely useless to the individual, and only addressed white collar corporate culture, completely ignoring blue and pink collar work, and offered absolutely no practical advice for the neurodivergent individual working in environments that are controlled at a level far higher than the individual location. What are reasonable accommodations for these people to ask for? The author certainly doesn't make any suggestions.
The author names problems, and gives systemic solutions, but no practical advice for the individual on the small scale.
The first part of the book was good. Her inclusion of Samantha Craft's list of ways that autism can present in women was instrumental for me to recognize it in myself, and am now working to get psychological testing.
The section of the book about the workplace? Absolutely useless to the individual, and only addressed white collar corporate culture, completely ignoring blue and pink collar work, and offered absolutely no practical advice for the neurodivergent individual working in environments that are controlled at a level far higher than the individual location. What are reasonable accommodations for these people to ask for? The author certainly doesn't make any suggestions.
The author names problems, and gives systemic solutions, but no practical advice for the individual on the small scale.
October 4, 2022
a lot of privileged blahblablah
December 7, 2022
Bullet Review:
I really found this enlightening; this is, in some ways, the successor to Susan Cain's "Quiet", the book about introversion. Women (and nonbinary and trans people) don't usually get diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, because for years, researchers studied the signs in young boys and women are conditioned to mask better. (Hell, even men can slip by the system if they don't adhere to the narrow rules.)
I will say, I think a lot of the criticisms about this veering "White Feminist" aren't untrue - most of the examples of women are basically people like me (college educated, working in a tech or academic field). People who do not identify as women (nonbinary, AFAB, transmen, etc.) will probably feel othered, as would people who are not white and middle class.
My hope is that this thought process continues to push society to think outside the box - less Dustin Hoffman's "Rain Man" or even Jim Parsons' Sheldon and more nuanced (and not necessarily male). Autistic, Highly Sensitive people, etc. can look very different, and all need different accommodations.
I really found this enlightening; this is, in some ways, the successor to Susan Cain's "Quiet", the book about introversion. Women (and nonbinary and trans people) don't usually get diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, because for years, researchers studied the signs in young boys and women are conditioned to mask better. (Hell, even men can slip by the system if they don't adhere to the narrow rules.)
I will say, I think a lot of the criticisms about this veering "White Feminist" aren't untrue - most of the examples of women are basically people like me (college educated, working in a tech or academic field). People who do not identify as women (nonbinary, AFAB, transmen, etc.) will probably feel othered, as would people who are not white and middle class.
My hope is that this thought process continues to push society to think outside the box - less Dustin Hoffman's "Rain Man" or even Jim Parsons' Sheldon and more nuanced (and not necessarily male). Autistic, Highly Sensitive people, etc. can look very different, and all need different accommodations.
March 19, 2021
Although this book had some useful tips I was a little disappointed with the rest of it. I bought the book hoping for lots of ideas of how to manage life in this world however it seemed more of a book about why and how we should advocate for change. Not a bad thing but just not what I expected or wanted to take from the book. It was comforting to read about others that cope with similar experiences on a daily basis however I really would like more advice on how to actually deal with it.
August 19, 2023
I picked this book up by chance while in Portland* for a conference. I was nervous about a relapse of autistic burnout once some of my university administrative duties pick up again with the start of a new school year, but wasn't sure if this would help, seeing as it isn't specifically focused on autism. Turns out - yes!
This book focuses on the sensory-sensitivity that is a common theme across multiple neurodivergences, and which I'm just beginning to appreciate as a major component of WHY I find certain environments stressful or overwhelming. It isn't a "new study", as one of the back blurbs describes it - not in the sense of a scientific study. But that's fine, because it is MUCH more useful than that to a reader who wants an easy-to-digest summary of a lot of recent work in understanding neurodivergence particularly as it manifests in women^. This includes unusual strengths that neurodivergent people can possess as well as challenges - high attention to detail or ability to focus, for example, or a good sense of how to make a space more comfortable in ways that other people can't articulate.
At the end of many chapters, Nerenberg lists her take-aways for potential actions that may help both individuals, neurodivergent people as a group, and society in general. As an example of an individual-level suggestion that I found helpful:
"when I start to get overstimulated or irritated, I imagine my brain, my brain stem, and the whole of my nervous system…cooling down and the whole of my body filled with a velvety ocean blue."
Turns out, this is a good pairing for breathing exercises, because it gives the stressed out "monkey mind" something to focus on!
One quibble I would have is that, while having more (self-aware) neurodivergent people leading enterprises or educating the heads of companies and such about neurodiversity issues will probably do some good, leaving it at that feels a bit too, IDK, optimistic centrist, to me. I mean, sure, neurodivergent people DO often bring creative new ideas and outlooks to our work - but, as the ongoing Writer's Guild of America strike, their worries about AI, and the abhorrent responses of some to it illustrate...sometimes a company or industry doesn't value creativity even when that's literally the whole foundation of what they do!
This book DOES do a good job discussing the unjust history of psychiatry, and the double-edged sword of diagnosis (that, to get help or accommodations one must currently allow oneself to be labeled as "disordered"). And it links growing recognition and acceptance of, and identity around, neurodiversity to the growing recognition of other forms of variation (eg race, gender, sexuality) as an intrinsic part of the human experience. So it would have been nice to get a bit more of the history of activism around those issues - disability in particular, since some of the changes to the built environment suggested are analogous to, say, the installation of wheelchair-accessible ramps...and that required protest and legislation to become a widespread thing that is still imperfectly implemented!
However, overall a very nice affirming starting place for anyone who is starting to think that they or someone they care about might be neurodivergent.
*Good thing I don't live there, or I might just camp out in Powell's City of Books every weekend...and that would get expensive!
^ With the author helpfully noting up front that it is not her intention exclude non-binary or trans people and that a lot of the same stuff tends to apply regardless of gender.
This book focuses on the sensory-sensitivity that is a common theme across multiple neurodivergences, and which I'm just beginning to appreciate as a major component of WHY I find certain environments stressful or overwhelming. It isn't a "new study", as one of the back blurbs describes it - not in the sense of a scientific study. But that's fine, because it is MUCH more useful than that to a reader who wants an easy-to-digest summary of a lot of recent work in understanding neurodivergence particularly as it manifests in women^. This includes unusual strengths that neurodivergent people can possess as well as challenges - high attention to detail or ability to focus, for example, or a good sense of how to make a space more comfortable in ways that other people can't articulate.
At the end of many chapters, Nerenberg lists her take-aways for potential actions that may help both individuals, neurodivergent people as a group, and society in general. As an example of an individual-level suggestion that I found helpful:
"when I start to get overstimulated or irritated, I imagine my brain, my brain stem, and the whole of my nervous system…cooling down and the whole of my body filled with a velvety ocean blue."
Turns out, this is a good pairing for breathing exercises, because it gives the stressed out "monkey mind" something to focus on!
One quibble I would have is that, while having more (self-aware) neurodivergent people leading enterprises or educating the heads of companies and such about neurodiversity issues will probably do some good, leaving it at that feels a bit too, IDK, optimistic centrist, to me. I mean, sure, neurodivergent people DO often bring creative new ideas and outlooks to our work - but, as the ongoing Writer's Guild of America strike, their worries about AI, and the abhorrent responses of some to it illustrate...sometimes a company or industry doesn't value creativity even when that's literally the whole foundation of what they do!
This book DOES do a good job discussing the unjust history of psychiatry, and the double-edged sword of diagnosis (that, to get help or accommodations one must currently allow oneself to be labeled as "disordered"). And it links growing recognition and acceptance of, and identity around, neurodiversity to the growing recognition of other forms of variation (eg race, gender, sexuality) as an intrinsic part of the human experience. So it would have been nice to get a bit more of the history of activism around those issues - disability in particular, since some of the changes to the built environment suggested are analogous to, say, the installation of wheelchair-accessible ramps...and that required protest and legislation to become a widespread thing that is still imperfectly implemented!
However, overall a very nice affirming starting place for anyone who is starting to think that they or someone they care about might be neurodivergent.
*Good thing I don't live there, or I might just camp out in Powell's City of Books every weekend...and that would get expensive!
^ With the author helpfully noting up front that it is not her intention exclude non-binary or trans people and that a lot of the same stuff tends to apply regardless of gender.
September 14, 2022
initially i was excited to see this book at the library, and quickly began to read it. i found the first few chapters interesting about earlier psychology methods, and related to some of the experiences the author outlined. it is always refreshing as a neurodivergent individual to relate to others and not feel so outcasted. but as i read further, i began to personally find some problems with this book.
firstly, the use of the term asperger’s. as the author is someone who is clearly very knowledgeable on neurodiversity and has put a look of research into it, i would’ve expected a disclaimer on the term asperger’s and the problematic history of it.
i also really would’ve liked to see a more diverse group of people being interviewed. these were all people considered “successful” in capitalistic ways. i would’ve liked to have heard from every day people, and their ways of navigating a world in the system we are forced to live under. particularly younger people, as all i remember reading about are later-diagnosed individuals.
the title “thriving in a world that wasn’t designed for you” didn’t really fit this book. i didn’t discover any new ways to “thrive” as such. sure there were some very basic tips on accommodating sensory issues. most of the book however seemed geared towards ways in which the world should operate and the accommodations we SHOULD have. i personally didn’t see the point in dredging out this perspective because it wasn’t helpful. it may be helpful for non-neurodivergent folk to read but it just served as a reminder of how little we get catered for.
lastly, a lot of this book was centred around working & workplaces. what about education, community, friendships, even hobbies/interests? surely helpful for employers but i didn’t find it helpful as someone who is unable to work.
i really did want to enjoy this book! and i do believe the author has good intent and is passionate about helping neurodivergent people and advocating for accessibility. but this book fell short for me.
firstly, the use of the term asperger’s. as the author is someone who is clearly very knowledgeable on neurodiversity and has put a look of research into it, i would’ve expected a disclaimer on the term asperger’s and the problematic history of it.
i also really would’ve liked to see a more diverse group of people being interviewed. these were all people considered “successful” in capitalistic ways. i would’ve liked to have heard from every day people, and their ways of navigating a world in the system we are forced to live under. particularly younger people, as all i remember reading about are later-diagnosed individuals.
the title “thriving in a world that wasn’t designed for you” didn’t really fit this book. i didn’t discover any new ways to “thrive” as such. sure there were some very basic tips on accommodating sensory issues. most of the book however seemed geared towards ways in which the world should operate and the accommodations we SHOULD have. i personally didn’t see the point in dredging out this perspective because it wasn’t helpful. it may be helpful for non-neurodivergent folk to read but it just served as a reminder of how little we get catered for.
lastly, a lot of this book was centred around working & workplaces. what about education, community, friendships, even hobbies/interests? surely helpful for employers but i didn’t find it helpful as someone who is unable to work.
i really did want to enjoy this book! and i do believe the author has good intent and is passionate about helping neurodivergent people and advocating for accessibility. but this book fell short for me.
December 10, 2020
i wanted to learn more about sensory sensitivity as neurodivergence & some of the diagnoses that overlap with it. it’s a research area with lots of gaps & it’s hard to find practitioners & information about it so i was initially happy to find this.
the book has a bit of helpful introductory knowledge but was very corporate/career/productivity oriented & written from a very class-privileged perspective, unfortunately.
the book has a bit of helpful introductory knowledge but was very corporate/career/productivity oriented & written from a very class-privileged perspective, unfortunately.
January 25, 2023
Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn't Designed for You - Jenara Nerenberg
يركز الكتاب على المصابات غير المشخصات بفرط الحركة والتوحد وغيرها من حالات التنوع العصبي
“neurodivergent”
من الراشدات واللائي لم يشخصن، وتضم حالات فرط الحركة ونقص الانتباه ومتلازمة أسبرجر والحالات ذات الصلة مثل الحساسية العالية .
ولكن وجدت الكتاب غير متعمق في تناوله للحالات -ولا أريد أن أقول سطحيًا، لكنه تناول بلا عمق وبسيط في أفضل الأحوال، وإن كانَ يحسب له فتح موضوع النقاش لهذا الموضوع غير المطروق والمعاناة الصامتة والمتجاهلة لملايين النساء من جميع الأعمار، ويعاب عليه أيضًا تركيزه على نساء من الطبقة فوق المتوسطة - مرتاحات ماليًا وخريجات أفضل الجامعات في العالم وموظفات في شركات كبرى مثل ياهو ومحظوظات بالتواجد في بيئات تتفهم احتياجاتهن وتساعدهن على التقدم والتطور ويعشن في منازل تصمم غرفها من قبل متخصصين في تخفيف الضوضاء والحساسية على المصابات بالتوحد واسبرجر والحساسية العالية، وأفكر ماذا عن الفتيات من خلفيات أقل حظًا ومن عائلات لا تستطيع توفير هذا لهن ويدرسن بمدارس مكتظة ولا يعشن بسلام ولا أحد يفكر باحتياجاتهن ناهيك عن نيلهن فرصة للإبداع والتطور .
يركز الكتاب على المصابات غير المشخصات بفرط الحركة والتوحد وغيرها من حالات التنوع العصبي
“neurodivergent”
من الراشدات واللائي لم يشخصن، وتضم حالات فرط الحركة ونقص الانتباه ومتلازمة أسبرجر والحالات ذات الصلة مثل الحساسية العالية .
ولكن وجدت الكتاب غير متعمق في تناوله للحالات -ولا أريد أن أقول سطحيًا، لكنه تناول بلا عمق وبسيط في أفضل الأحوال، وإن كانَ يحسب له فتح موضوع النقاش لهذا الموضوع غير المطروق والمعاناة الصامتة والمتجاهلة لملايين النساء من جميع الأعمار، ويعاب عليه أيضًا تركيزه على نساء من الطبقة فوق المتوسطة - مرتاحات ماليًا وخريجات أفضل الجامعات في العالم وموظفات في شركات كبرى مثل ياهو ومحظوظات بالتواجد في بيئات تتفهم احتياجاتهن وتساعدهن على التقدم والتطور ويعشن في منازل تصمم غرفها من قبل متخصصين في تخفيف الضوضاء والحساسية على المصابات بالتوحد واسبرجر والحساسية العالية، وأفكر ماذا عن الفتيات من خلفيات أقل حظًا ومن عائلات لا تستطيع توفير هذا لهن ويدرسن بمدارس مكتظة ولا يعشن بسلام ولا أحد يفكر باحتياجاتهن ناهيك عن نيلهن فرصة للإبداع والتطور .
August 9, 2020
DNF @25%...
I found this book to be rather out of touch, elitist and ableist. I wanted to like this book, as I had been looking forward to reading it, but it quickly turned me off.
I found this book to be rather out of touch, elitist and ableist. I wanted to like this book, as I had been looking forward to reading it, but it quickly turned me off.
April 16, 2020
[3.5 stars]
This book gives a great overview of different types of neurodivergence, such as ADHD, synesthesia, and autism, in womxn because they have been painfully neglected in medical research so far. On the one hand, it made me wonder where I'd fall on the neurodivergent spectrum because I could definitely see myself in some of the described symptoms. On the other hand, I bet almost everyone can relate to some of the symptoms which makes sense because we're talking about a spectrum here, but those missing boundaries also make me question why we should place ourselves on a spectrum at all (not seriously, I'm still trying to wrap my head around my own thoughts). Towards the end the book felt a little redundant, which is probably a good thing because my mind drifted off sometimes (I really shouldn't consume non-fiction like this via audio). Overall, a very accessible resource and a great step into a field that is in desperate need of more exploration and consideration.
This book gives a great overview of different types of neurodivergence, such as ADHD, synesthesia, and autism, in womxn because they have been painfully neglected in medical research so far. On the one hand, it made me wonder where I'd fall on the neurodivergent spectrum because I could definitely see myself in some of the described symptoms. On the other hand, I bet almost everyone can relate to some of the symptoms which makes sense because we're talking about a spectrum here, but those missing boundaries also make me question why we should place ourselves on a spectrum at all (not seriously, I'm still trying to wrap my head around my own thoughts). Towards the end the book felt a little redundant, which is probably a good thing because my mind drifted off sometimes (I really shouldn't consume non-fiction like this via audio). Overall, a very accessible resource and a great step into a field that is in desperate need of more exploration and consideration.
July 20, 2024
Disappointed. One word that described what I felt after reading through this book.
At times it felt like the book was written so the author could give herself a pat on the back OR so that she could get praised for being successful regardless of her neurodivergence.
Instead of attacking the neurotypical idea of productivity this book fed into it.
There is nothing to gain from the experience of the author, except perhaps a deeper sense of inadequacy which would be misplaced because what this books tries to showcase is NOT the general struggle of a late diagnosed neurodivergent woman.
There is no intersectionality. There is no accounting for race, class or education.
This book it’s pointless except, as I mentioned before, to boost the authors profile.
At times it felt like the book was written so the author could give herself a pat on the back OR so that she could get praised for being successful regardless of her neurodivergence.
Instead of attacking the neurotypical idea of productivity this book fed into it.
There is nothing to gain from the experience of the author, except perhaps a deeper sense of inadequacy which would be misplaced because what this books tries to showcase is NOT the general struggle of a late diagnosed neurodivergent woman.
There is no intersectionality. There is no accounting for race, class or education.
This book it’s pointless except, as I mentioned before, to boost the authors profile.
September 10, 2024
I recommend this book CONSTANTLY. If you are--or suspect you are--neurodivergent, or just want to be a kinder, more understanding neurotypical person, this book is for you!
December 23, 2023
اون اولا یه بخشی داشت که راجع به این بحث میکرد و پذیرش تمام تفاوت ها بدون لیبل زدن و ...
What happens when we stop pathologizing difference?
وقتی خوندمش اینطور بودم که چقدر باهات موافقم.
جدای از بیمارانگاری خیلی از تفاوت ها، میلیون ها دسته بندی اضافه هی درست میکنیم. تو زمونه ای که همه دنبال ایراد گرفتن از همدیگه و دقیقتر کردن دسته بندی اشخاص دیگهایم، برا درست دسته بندی کردن در نهایت به فرد به فرد میرسیم.
خب چه کاریه؟
یه سری چیزا راجع به ایدیاچدی و اوتیسم میگفت که به طرز عجیبی درست بودند. یه سری چیزاش تجربه شخصیم بودند. از اون ور یه سری چیز خیلی طبیعی و تیپیکال رو گرفته بود گفته بود اینا جزو نورودایورسیتین. بعد خیلی تاکید داشت این نورودایورسیتی خانم و اقا هم از هم جدا کنه. راجع به خانم ها داشت میگفت بیشتر.
وقتی اولش اینهمه با بحث میای میگی بیمارگونه نکنیم هر تفاوتی رو ، چطوری میای این مدلی دسته بندی میکنی؟
نمیدونم ، اولاش فکر میکردم منظورش اینه اینهمه دسته بندی نشه؛ ولی منظورش این بود دسته بندی رو اون اسم روش نذاریم که فکر کنن باید برن دنبال تراپیست و فلان ، این اسم رو روش بذاریم که... چیکار کنن؟ کاری نکنن؟ بدونن تو اذیت شدنشون تنها نیستن و دنبال کمک دیگه نمیخواد برن چون تنها نیستن؟
بخشی از کتاب راجع به مناسب نبودن دنیای فرمال و تیپیکال برای کار کردن نورودایورجنت ها بود. که خب آره سخته و جور نیست؛ ولی حالا به اون بدی ای که میگفت هم نیست و رو به بهبوده. اینطور نیست که دنیا متوجه این تغییرات نباشه.
تقسیم بندی نوروتیپیکال و نورودایورجنت رو نمیخوام باز کنم و بحث کنم باهاش ؛ ولی نُرم ساختاربندی دنیا مدلیه که اکثریتِ نزدیکشون بودند.
الان از یه ساختار بندی تیپیکی که صد سال پیش بودیم، به هزار دلیل، داریم خارج میشن و قدرت سروایو و درخشیدن به تک تک آدم های متفاوت داده میشه. اوکی حالا الان بیاید ساختار بندی کنیم شرکت ها ، خیابون ها، مدارس یکم متفاوت بشن.
و دارن میشن.
یعنی تو صد سال پیش میومدی میگفتی شرکتت وسطش میز پینگ پنگ بذاری بهتر جوابه، همه هزار دلیل میاوردن که نه حواس پرتی و فلان میاره. چون جمعیتی که حین پینگ پنگ بتونه تمرکز بهتری کنه، اصلا وارد اون مدل کار نمیشده از قبلش؛ میرفته ارتش، میرفته کشاورزی میرفته هزارجای دیگه که اون استیمولی رو بگیره. از اون ور تقریبا تمام اشخاص دیگه ای که تو کار شرکتی بودند با پینگ پنگ بازی کردن حواسشون پرت میشده. منطقیه ساختار شرکته اون طور بوده باشه.
باید در نظر بگیری، درست یا غلط، آدم ها اینرسی دارن برا تغییر و از تغییر میترسن.
تو سالهای اخیر طی ارتباطات و تکنولوژی و... ما آدم ها خیلی قر و قاطی تر سراغ کارها میریم و مثلاً برا شرکت تولید نرم افزار کلی آدمی اپلای میکنن که با پینگ پنگ تمرکزشون بهتر میشه، خب الان میان میذارن اونو وسط شرکت. که دارن میذارن. اگه کمه دلیلش اینه که تازه شروع شده.
درسته آدمها همیشه اینقدر مختلف بودند، ولی جایگزین و کار کردنشون فرق داشته و تو ستینگ دیگه ای میرفتن.
بچه ای که نمیتونسته سر کلاس درس بشینه و هایپر اکتیویتی زیاد داشته، میرفته یه کار دیگه میکرده انرژی بیشتری بخواد: میرفته کار یاد میگرفته، ورزشی میشده و فلان . حالا تو دنیای الان که اصرار داریم هایپراکتیوی بچه رو سر کلاس درس ارضا کنیم، باید صبر کنیم ، تلاش کنیم ساختار مدرسه جدیدی درست کنی. چون تا قبلش اینا نمیومدن/نمیموندن مدرسه.
این چیزا به نسبت تازه بودنشون، خوب داره درست میشه تو دنیا. حالا تو عصر سرعت عجیب هستیم و فکر میکنیم کنده یه چیز دیگه است. (یه یادآوری اینجا کنم چون به تازگی سالگرد اولین هواپیمای برادران رایتز بوده: این تازه برا ۱۹۰۳ بوده. فقط ۱۲۰ سال قبل. ) یهو تو پنج سال نمیتونی بیای همه رو مجبور کنی ساختاری که باهاش پنجاه سال کار کردن رو عوض کنند چون آدم ها متفاوتند.
نمیدونم شاید دارم چرت میگم و کوپیوم میکنم.
*یه جایی از کتاب راجع به نورون های آینه ای میگفت.
که خودمم تقریبا چیزی ازشون نخونده بودم تا قبلش.
تو مقاله ی دیگه ای که تو کتاب نبود، (آچاریا و شوکلا، سال ۲۰۱۲) تعریف نورون آینه ای این مدلیه:
Mirror neurons are one of the most important discoveries in the last decade of neuroscience. These are a variety of visuospatial neurons which indicate fundamentally about human social interaction. Essentially, mirror neurons respond to actions that we observe in others. The interesting part is that mirror neurons fire in the same way when we actually recreate that action ourselves. Apart from imitation, they are responsible for myriad of other sophisticated human behavior and thought processes. Defects in the mirror neuron system are being linked to disorders like autism.
هنوز دارم میخونم راجع بهش شاید بعدا بیام اینجا ادیت کنم اضافه کنم.
What happens when we stop pathologizing difference?
وقتی خوندمش اینطور بودم که چقدر باهات موافقم.
جدای از بیمارانگاری خیلی از تفاوت ها، میلیون ها دسته بندی اضافه هی درست میکنیم. تو زمونه ای که همه دنبال ایراد گرفتن از همدیگه و دقیقتر کردن دسته بندی اشخاص دیگهایم، برا درست دسته بندی کردن در نهایت به فرد به فرد میرسیم.
خب چه کاریه؟
یه سری چیزا راجع به ایدیاچدی و اوتیسم میگفت که به طرز عجیبی درست بودند. یه سری چیزاش تجربه شخصیم بودند. از اون ور یه سری چیز خیلی طبیعی و تیپیکال رو گرفته بود گفته بود اینا جزو نورودایورسیتین. بعد خیلی تاکید داشت این نورودایورسیتی خانم و اقا هم از هم جدا کنه. راجع به خانم ها داشت میگفت بیشتر.
وقتی اولش اینهمه با بحث میای میگی بیمارگونه نکنیم هر تفاوتی رو ، چطوری میای این مدلی دسته بندی میکنی؟
نمیدونم ، اولاش فکر میکردم منظورش اینه اینهمه دسته بندی نشه؛ ولی منظورش این بود دسته بندی رو اون اسم روش نذاریم که فکر کنن باید برن دنبال تراپیست و فلان ، این اسم رو روش بذاریم که... چیکار کنن؟ کاری نکنن؟ بدونن تو اذیت شدنشون تنها نیستن و دنبال کمک دیگه نمیخواد برن چون تنها نیستن؟
بخشی از کتاب راجع به مناسب نبودن دنیای فرمال و تیپیکال برای کار کردن نورودایورجنت ها بود. که خب آره سخته و جور نیست؛ ولی حالا به اون بدی ای که میگفت هم نیست و رو به بهبوده. اینطور نیست که دنیا متوجه این تغییرات نباشه.
تقسیم بندی نوروتیپیکال و نورودایورجنت رو نمیخوام باز کنم و بحث کنم باهاش ؛ ولی نُرم ساختاربندی دنیا مدلیه که اکثریتِ نزدیکشون بودند.
الان از یه ساختار بندی تیپیکی که صد سال پیش بودیم، به هزار دلیل، داریم خارج میشن و قدرت سروایو و درخشیدن به تک تک آدم های متفاوت داده میشه. اوکی حالا الان بیاید ساختار بندی کنیم شرکت ها ، خیابون ها، مدارس یکم متفاوت بشن.
و دارن میشن.
یعنی تو صد سال پیش میومدی میگفتی شرکتت وسطش میز پینگ پنگ بذاری بهتر جوابه، همه هزار دلیل میاوردن که نه حواس پرتی و فلان میاره. چون جمعیتی که حین پینگ پنگ بتونه تمرکز بهتری کنه، اصلا وارد اون مدل کار نمیشده از قبلش؛ میرفته ارتش، میرفته کشاورزی میرفته هزارجای دیگه که اون استیمولی رو بگیره. از اون ور تقریبا تمام اشخاص دیگه ای که تو کار شرکتی بودند با پینگ پنگ بازی کردن حواسشون پرت میشده. منطقیه ساختار شرکته اون طور بوده باشه.
باید در نظر بگیری، درست یا غلط، آدم ها اینرسی دارن برا تغییر و از تغییر میترسن.
تو سالهای اخیر طی ارتباطات و تکنولوژی و... ما آدم ها خیلی قر و قاطی تر سراغ کارها میریم و مثلاً برا شرکت تولید نرم افزار کلی آدمی اپلای میکنن که با پینگ پنگ تمرکزشون بهتر میشه، خب الان میان میذارن اونو وسط شرکت. که دارن میذارن. اگه کمه دلیلش اینه که تازه شروع شده.
درسته آدمها همیشه اینقدر مختلف بودند، ولی جایگزین و کار کردنشون فرق داشته و تو ستینگ دیگه ای میرفتن.
بچه ای که نمیتونسته سر کلاس درس بشینه و هایپر اکتیویتی زیاد داشته، میرفته یه کار دیگه میکرده انرژی بیشتری بخواد: میرفته کار یاد میگرفته، ورزشی میشده و فلان . حالا تو دنیای الان که اصرار داریم هایپراکتیوی بچه رو سر کلاس درس ارضا کنیم، باید صبر کنیم ، تلاش کنیم ساختار مدرسه جدیدی درست کنی. چون تا قبلش اینا نمیومدن/نمیموندن مدرسه.
این چیزا به نسبت تازه بودنشون، خوب داره درست میشه تو دنیا. حالا تو عصر سرعت عجیب هستیم و فکر میکنیم کنده یه چیز دیگه است. (یه یادآوری اینجا کنم چون به تازگی سالگرد اولین هواپیمای برادران رایتز بوده: این تازه برا ۱۹۰۳ بوده. فقط ۱۲۰ سال قبل. ) یهو تو پنج سال نمیتونی بیای همه رو مجبور کنی ساختاری که باهاش پنجاه سال کار کردن رو عوض کنند چون آدم ها متفاوتند.
نمیدونم شاید دارم چرت میگم و کوپیوم میکنم.
*یه جایی از کتاب راجع به نورون های آینه ای میگفت.
که خودمم تقریبا چیزی ازشون نخونده بودم تا قبلش.
تو مقاله ی دیگه ای که تو کتاب نبود، (آچاریا و شوکلا، سال ۲۰۱۲) تعریف نورون آینه ای این مدلیه:
Mirror neurons are one of the most important discoveries in the last decade of neuroscience. These are a variety of visuospatial neurons which indicate fundamentally about human social interaction. Essentially, mirror neurons respond to actions that we observe in others. The interesting part is that mirror neurons fire in the same way when we actually recreate that action ourselves. Apart from imitation, they are responsible for myriad of other sophisticated human behavior and thought processes. Defects in the mirror neuron system are being linked to disorders like autism.
هنوز دارم میخونم راجع بهش شاید بعدا بیام اینجا ادیت کنم اضافه کنم.
December 28, 2021
as someone grappling with a number of recent diagnoses falling under the neurodivergent umbrella AND who was assigned female at birth, I was VERY excited to read this. I’m not mad that I did - it was a quick read and well-written, if not a bit repetitive - but it wasn’t quite what I was looking for. I’ll also preface this (somewhat chaotic) review with the caveat that these topics are new to me and I’m still chewing on some things…so views are subject to change :-)
if the neurodiversity paradigm is new to you and you’re looking for a strength-based framing of neurodivergence (specifically among cis women), this books offers a helpful and accessible introduction. it covers a lot of ground (to varying degrees of success) and does a really good job at articulating why certain aspects of neurodivergence should be understood and leveraged as “superpowers” - as well as offering the language to express this.
that said, I echo the critiques of other reviewers - a class lens is sorely lacking and the emphasis on neurodivergence-as-strength can come off as minimizing how debilitating it can actually be. another reviewer wrote that reading this book early in their journey when they were actively struggling would have been difficult for them, and I can completely appreciate this. the book isn’t explicitly anti-medication or anti-therapy, but there is definitely a vibe of “if you just *perceived* this thing differently, you would be fine!” which obviously isn’t going to be helpful for everyone. the tenuous relationship between the idea of neurodivergence and “treatment” (i.e., what merits “treatment” or “correction”) would have been interesting to unpack more, especially as a book intended to be more introductory on the subject.
I also would have personally preferred a more nuanced exploration of a few of the topics the book speaks to - for instance, the gendered history of psychiatry/psychology - but it instead combines elements of a memoir, interviews with others, neurology, history, etc. without really going into any depth on any of these things, which leaves me struggling to articulate what I really took away from it.
some other things that aren’t sitting *quite* right with me: while I can appreciate the author’s hesitancy around labels, choosing instead to write about five “types” of neurodivergence that share common traits of sensitivity and sensory issues, this decision felt like it did a bit of a disservice at times. for one, it contributed to the exclusion of other neurotypes or “conditions” that have sometimes/controversially been considered neurodivergent, for instance personality or mood disorders. besides that, I would have appreciated a stronger gender analysis, especially in the decision to focus so heavily on sensitivity (who is more likely to be labelled “sensitive,” who benefits from being perceived as such, etc.).
lastly - again, still learning, but I was surprised (and a little disappointed) that there wasn’t a stronger grounding in a disability justice framework. the connections between the neurodiversity movement and disability justice (and even autism) movements were really underdeveloped, and it was hard not to read this as an attempt to separate neurodivergence from disability. see also: the use of terms like high/low-functioning, Asperger’s, and wheelchair-bound.
this was way longer than intended - and again, I did find this generally okay, but it wasn’t what I wanted/needed at this point in time. I’m glad other people are seeing themselves in this book (and I did, to some extent!) and am looking forward to diving deeper into some of the topics, for instance neurodivergent-friendly architecture and design and workplace inclusion and accommodations.
if the neurodiversity paradigm is new to you and you’re looking for a strength-based framing of neurodivergence (specifically among cis women), this books offers a helpful and accessible introduction. it covers a lot of ground (to varying degrees of success) and does a really good job at articulating why certain aspects of neurodivergence should be understood and leveraged as “superpowers” - as well as offering the language to express this.
that said, I echo the critiques of other reviewers - a class lens is sorely lacking and the emphasis on neurodivergence-as-strength can come off as minimizing how debilitating it can actually be. another reviewer wrote that reading this book early in their journey when they were actively struggling would have been difficult for them, and I can completely appreciate this. the book isn’t explicitly anti-medication or anti-therapy, but there is definitely a vibe of “if you just *perceived* this thing differently, you would be fine!” which obviously isn’t going to be helpful for everyone. the tenuous relationship between the idea of neurodivergence and “treatment” (i.e., what merits “treatment” or “correction”) would have been interesting to unpack more, especially as a book intended to be more introductory on the subject.
I also would have personally preferred a more nuanced exploration of a few of the topics the book speaks to - for instance, the gendered history of psychiatry/psychology - but it instead combines elements of a memoir, interviews with others, neurology, history, etc. without really going into any depth on any of these things, which leaves me struggling to articulate what I really took away from it.
some other things that aren’t sitting *quite* right with me: while I can appreciate the author’s hesitancy around labels, choosing instead to write about five “types” of neurodivergence that share common traits of sensitivity and sensory issues, this decision felt like it did a bit of a disservice at times. for one, it contributed to the exclusion of other neurotypes or “conditions” that have sometimes/controversially been considered neurodivergent, for instance personality or mood disorders. besides that, I would have appreciated a stronger gender analysis, especially in the decision to focus so heavily on sensitivity (who is more likely to be labelled “sensitive,” who benefits from being perceived as such, etc.).
lastly - again, still learning, but I was surprised (and a little disappointed) that there wasn’t a stronger grounding in a disability justice framework. the connections between the neurodiversity movement and disability justice (and even autism) movements were really underdeveloped, and it was hard not to read this as an attempt to separate neurodivergence from disability. see also: the use of terms like high/low-functioning, Asperger’s, and wheelchair-bound.
this was way longer than intended - and again, I did find this generally okay, but it wasn’t what I wanted/needed at this point in time. I’m glad other people are seeing themselves in this book (and I did, to some extent!) and am looking forward to diving deeper into some of the topics, for instance neurodivergent-friendly architecture and design and workplace inclusion and accommodations.
April 5, 2021
Great book for foundations of understanding the implications of some types of neurodiversity in women. I especially liked the information on sensory things, how it's common in many different disorders, and how this can concretize in the day-to-day. I feel I learned a lot with this book about things I should watch out for. There's definitely a lot of things that I don't notice are causing me distress and this was great for becoming more aware.
However, it's a very bad book for offering solutions. I have the impression that the target audience of this book are people from highly privileged backgrounds who can do all sorts of therapies or career changes without financial worries, and have an ample network of support. While the many cases told about different women paint a positive picture of what is possible, it is rather frustrating to realize none of that is applicable to you. It's a great book if you got by in life somewhat, and is wondering why do you struggle with this or that aspect of life, but are not under intense suffering or in need of solutions, just looking for answers. It answers why the world is not designed for you, and sort of fails at the "thriving" part. But then again, pointing out problems is easy and offering solutions is hard. For that, I preferred the book "Journeys through ADDulthood".
I also want to caution people about this book not being apropriate to be read by people who are suffering and wondering what is wrong with them. It has a lot of alternative takes on disorders not being disorders but "just different", which doesn't really apply if you are suffering, unsupported, and in a stage before diagnosis or medication. Self-acceptance is great, but is meant for a different stage. I can clearly see this book having the effect of encouraging people to white knuckle through serious issues instead of asking for medical support. Not that the medical support is great, it's certainly deeply fucked, but it's important to not absorb a mantra that you would be 100% fine if only the world was a bit better designed and that you are not in fact in need of help. Definitely get help for the big stuff first, and only then this book could be useful for fine-tuning upon that. I am glad I read other materials on this topic first because it could have had a deep negative effect on me had I read it earlier.
However, it's a very bad book for offering solutions. I have the impression that the target audience of this book are people from highly privileged backgrounds who can do all sorts of therapies or career changes without financial worries, and have an ample network of support. While the many cases told about different women paint a positive picture of what is possible, it is rather frustrating to realize none of that is applicable to you. It's a great book if you got by in life somewhat, and is wondering why do you struggle with this or that aspect of life, but are not under intense suffering or in need of solutions, just looking for answers. It answers why the world is not designed for you, and sort of fails at the "thriving" part. But then again, pointing out problems is easy and offering solutions is hard. For that, I preferred the book "Journeys through ADDulthood".
I also want to caution people about this book not being apropriate to be read by people who are suffering and wondering what is wrong with them. It has a lot of alternative takes on disorders not being disorders but "just different", which doesn't really apply if you are suffering, unsupported, and in a stage before diagnosis or medication. Self-acceptance is great, but is meant for a different stage. I can clearly see this book having the effect of encouraging people to white knuckle through serious issues instead of asking for medical support. Not that the medical support is great, it's certainly deeply fucked, but it's important to not absorb a mantra that you would be 100% fine if only the world was a bit better designed and that you are not in fact in need of help. Definitely get help for the big stuff first, and only then this book could be useful for fine-tuning upon that. I am glad I read other materials on this topic first because it could have had a deep negative effect on me had I read it earlier.
March 2, 2022
I read this as a free book through Prime Reading.
If I hadn't already had an autism diagnosis a few months ago, this book would have convinced me of that truth. Divergent Mind is a breezy, approachable read for women who are or suspect they may be neurodivergent, which includes not only autism but ADHD, high sensitivity, synesthesia, and other things that have all too often been dubbed mental illness or other negative labels. I appreciated the positivity of the book. The biggest message throughout is that we are not alone, we are not broken.
If I hadn't already had an autism diagnosis a few months ago, this book would have convinced me of that truth. Divergent Mind is a breezy, approachable read for women who are or suspect they may be neurodivergent, which includes not only autism but ADHD, high sensitivity, synesthesia, and other things that have all too often been dubbed mental illness or other negative labels. I appreciated the positivity of the book. The biggest message throughout is that we are not alone, we are not broken.
August 30, 2025
Disclosure as I feel it's relevant: I am formally diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, and my kids have a soup of diagnoses. Further disclosure: Turns out I've read many of the books she cites.
This is a mess of a book on every level. By page 25, I'm pretty sure I was hate reading. I'm trying to distill down the central problem with the book, and I've landed on this: Nerenberg is not qualified to write it, and she packed so much into such a short book that she doesn't do a very good job of it.
I won't deride a journalist rather than a psychologist writing this book. The problem is really that Nerenberg is a recently self-diagnosed neurodivergent person (no specific diagnosis) and she makes some pretty basic errors like continuing to refer to Asperger's syndrome when it was removed from the DSM in 2013 for extremely good reasons. She has some anti-psychology tendencies that can result in throwing the baby out with the bathwater. To compound that problem, she is really bad at looking outside her own experience as someone who is low support needs and privileged. Everyone she interviews falls into that lane. It's an incredibly narrow lens. There's exactly one mention of race and class.
The history of psychology and psychiatry is undoubtedly beyond problematic, particularly in regards to women, and I can speak from personal experience. The models for ASD and ADHD in particular are heavily biased towards men. However, she gets somewhat dismissive towards diagnosis, period, and has an attitude towards the idea of "deficit" or "disorder" that is well meant but backwards. She believes that labeling things with negative terms creates stigma—a kind of Sapir-Worf hypothesis. My experience is more complex. Many ND people do have complex feelings about it, and perceive it, at least in part, as an abnormality. More importantly, the stigma precedes the label. Stigma is the cause, not the effect. I knew I was different and that my differences were not okay well before anyone put a label on it. Calling it a "disorder" didn't bother me, because I knew other people didn't think I was normal. Changing language is window-dressing.
The heart of her hypothesis seems to be that the core of neurodivergence in women is being highly sensitive, whether emotional or sensory. This assumption is poorly explored and much more problematic than she thinks. Instead of merely correcting narratives about lack of empathy or theory of mind, it sets up a form of gender essentialism. It doesn't describe all women, and it also sets a false dichotomy over sensitivity. I don't know if she simply thinks that women who meet a more traditional profile would already have a diagnosis or what. But if we don't fit that "highly sensitive" profile, we don't fit her vision of neurodivergence.
The first section covers several diagnoses or quasi-diagnoses. The first is the most problematic: Highly Sensitive Person. The concept of high-sensitivity is valid. The problem is that even Elaine Aron says it's not a disgnosis, merely a neutral trait. When you dig in, the way HSP has been used is not great. Many autism advocates feel that it's anti-autistic, as it uses many autistic traits but only ones considered positive, and Dr. Aron has said negative things about autistic people. Because of the ways sensory and emotional sensitivity are blended, the description of "highly sensitive" feels vague and the questionnaire doesn't read well. ("I have a rich, complex inner life.")
The sections on autism and ADHD are, again, brief and the people interviewed fall into a narrow slice. It's all high achieving, highly educated women. If you even had trouble in college due to neurodivergence? Not for you. The SPD section is another story. There is a reason SPD continues to be rejected by the DSM committee, and it's not that they don't think sensory issues don't exist—they're in the diagnostic criteria for ASD. They're not convinced that SPD is a standalone diagnosis, rather than a symptom cluster that's associated with other diagnoses. Pretty much the whole chapter is about the STAR institute, which I will note ran Google ads when my kids were little, saying maybe it's not autism, it's SPD, visit spdstar dot org.
The 3rd part is "what's next?" and it mostly suffers from incoherence. There's bits of interviews with people (I noticed she never quotes anyone who pushes back or offers nuance). There's bits of ideas about work, home, relationships, therapy. She relies on anecdote over evidence. (Yes, sensory rooms look cool. Yes, some people benefit from them, based on self-reporting. There is no solid data.) She briefly touches on how autistic women can go undiagnosed because they don't fit stereotypes, but she doesn't even consider the problem of how we may be creating new stereotypes of female-coded autism.
I'm sure some people will see themselves in this book, but it excludes too many people, and the sloppy research is really inexcusable. It comes off as someone who discovered the concept of neurodivetsity and that it might apply to her—and then instead of taking time to really learn and work with people who were already in the space, she went and wrote a book and launched her own project.
This is a mess of a book on every level. By page 25, I'm pretty sure I was hate reading. I'm trying to distill down the central problem with the book, and I've landed on this: Nerenberg is not qualified to write it, and she packed so much into such a short book that she doesn't do a very good job of it.
I won't deride a journalist rather than a psychologist writing this book. The problem is really that Nerenberg is a recently self-diagnosed neurodivergent person (no specific diagnosis) and she makes some pretty basic errors like continuing to refer to Asperger's syndrome when it was removed from the DSM in 2013 for extremely good reasons. She has some anti-psychology tendencies that can result in throwing the baby out with the bathwater. To compound that problem, she is really bad at looking outside her own experience as someone who is low support needs and privileged. Everyone she interviews falls into that lane. It's an incredibly narrow lens. There's exactly one mention of race and class.
The history of psychology and psychiatry is undoubtedly beyond problematic, particularly in regards to women, and I can speak from personal experience. The models for ASD and ADHD in particular are heavily biased towards men. However, she gets somewhat dismissive towards diagnosis, period, and has an attitude towards the idea of "deficit" or "disorder" that is well meant but backwards. She believes that labeling things with negative terms creates stigma—a kind of Sapir-Worf hypothesis. My experience is more complex. Many ND people do have complex feelings about it, and perceive it, at least in part, as an abnormality. More importantly, the stigma precedes the label. Stigma is the cause, not the effect. I knew I was different and that my differences were not okay well before anyone put a label on it. Calling it a "disorder" didn't bother me, because I knew other people didn't think I was normal. Changing language is window-dressing.
The heart of her hypothesis seems to be that the core of neurodivergence in women is being highly sensitive, whether emotional or sensory. This assumption is poorly explored and much more problematic than she thinks. Instead of merely correcting narratives about lack of empathy or theory of mind, it sets up a form of gender essentialism. It doesn't describe all women, and it also sets a false dichotomy over sensitivity. I don't know if she simply thinks that women who meet a more traditional profile would already have a diagnosis or what. But if we don't fit that "highly sensitive" profile, we don't fit her vision of neurodivergence.
The first section covers several diagnoses or quasi-diagnoses. The first is the most problematic: Highly Sensitive Person. The concept of high-sensitivity is valid. The problem is that even Elaine Aron says it's not a disgnosis, merely a neutral trait. When you dig in, the way HSP has been used is not great. Many autism advocates feel that it's anti-autistic, as it uses many autistic traits but only ones considered positive, and Dr. Aron has said negative things about autistic people. Because of the ways sensory and emotional sensitivity are blended, the description of "highly sensitive" feels vague and the questionnaire doesn't read well. ("I have a rich, complex inner life.")
The sections on autism and ADHD are, again, brief and the people interviewed fall into a narrow slice. It's all high achieving, highly educated women. If you even had trouble in college due to neurodivergence? Not for you. The SPD section is another story. There is a reason SPD continues to be rejected by the DSM committee, and it's not that they don't think sensory issues don't exist—they're in the diagnostic criteria for ASD. They're not convinced that SPD is a standalone diagnosis, rather than a symptom cluster that's associated with other diagnoses. Pretty much the whole chapter is about the STAR institute, which I will note ran Google ads when my kids were little, saying maybe it's not autism, it's SPD, visit spdstar dot org.
The 3rd part is "what's next?" and it mostly suffers from incoherence. There's bits of interviews with people (I noticed she never quotes anyone who pushes back or offers nuance). There's bits of ideas about work, home, relationships, therapy. She relies on anecdote over evidence. (Yes, sensory rooms look cool. Yes, some people benefit from them, based on self-reporting. There is no solid data.) She briefly touches on how autistic women can go undiagnosed because they don't fit stereotypes, but she doesn't even consider the problem of how we may be creating new stereotypes of female-coded autism.
I'm sure some people will see themselves in this book, but it excludes too many people, and the sloppy research is really inexcusable. It comes off as someone who discovered the concept of neurodivetsity and that it might apply to her—and then instead of taking time to really learn and work with people who were already in the space, she went and wrote a book and launched her own project.
July 6, 2021
Has anyone ever judged you (or have you ever judged yourself) for being "too sensitive"? Divergent Mind takes a deep look at 5 neurotypes--ADHD, autism, SPD (sensory processing disorder), HSP (highly sensitive person--that's me, big time), and synesthesia--particularly in terms of sensory sensitivities, and specifically how these are experienced by women and girls. Nerenberg's view of people with these neurological traits (herself included) is a non-pathologizing celebration of diversity and the gifts that go with it, as well as offering helpful insights into improving one's life through understanding, practical strategies, and innovative therapies. A great resource for anyone who is (or has people in their lives who are) neurodivergent.
August 7, 2022
While reading this book, I genuinely thought it had been written at the beginning of the years 2000s. I cannot understand how someone who, as she said, have read a lot about neuro diversity could still use Asperger rhetoric, speak about high and low functioning, almost entirety elude the experience of BIPOC/ not cishet / low income women, and still speak of « empowerment ». This book has been published in 2020, and I cannot comprehend how it is possible if you are interested in this subject, to not know that the experience of rich white cishet neurodivergent women cannot be the only focus of a book on neurodiversities.
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