A Gentle Answer: Our 'Secret Weapon' in an Age of Us Against Them

by Scott Sauls

A remarkable vision for how Christians can live with countercultural gentleness in a perpetually angry, attacking, outraged time. Wow! What a great book!" -- Max Lucado In a defensive and divided era, how can followers of Jesus reveal a better way of living, one that loves others as God loves us? How can Christians be the kind of people who are known, as Proverbs puts it, to "turn away wrath?" Scott Sauls's compelling new book shows Christians how to become people of "a gentle answer" in a politically, relationally, and culturally fractured world by helping For those who long for a more civil way of being, A Gentle Answer reveals why answering hostility with gentleness is essential, how we can nurture our hearts to do so, and what a gentle answer looks like, both in the church and in the world. "A great, highly practical volume that points us to the tenderness of 'a bruised reed he will not break'." -- Tim Keller, Pastor Emeritus, Redeemer Presbyterian Church, New York City "Wow! What a great book…. We will be better humans because of it." -- Max Lucado, bestselling author and pastor of Oak Hills Church in San Antonio, Texas "Scott Sauls is the preeminent voice for fractured, polarized times…. Scott’s every word is read under our roof." -- Ann Voskamp, bestselling author of One Thousand Gifts and The Broken Way "This book could not have come at a better time, as we navigate a culture of polarization….This is a heart changing book!" -- Rebekah Lyons, bestselling author, Rhythms of Renewal and You are Free.

Genres: Christian, Faith, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Christianity, Theology, Spirituality

224 pages, Paperback

First published June 1, 2020

About the author

Scott Sauls is a pastor and author living in Nashville, Tennessee. Scott has served as senior pastor of Nashville's Christ Presbyterian Church, lead and preaching pastor of New York City's Redeemer Presbyterian Church, and was founding and senior pastor of Oak Hills Presbyterian Church in Kansas city and Riverside Church in St. Louis. Scott is also a frequent keynote speaker at conferences, leadership retreats, and to university students. He writes regularly on his blog at scottsauls.com and can also be found on Twitter at @scottsauls.

Reviews

[Nathan Kornegay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, I wish I could give this book 10 stars. Scott Sauls does a magnificent job piercing the anger, bitterness and unforgiving hearts that are so common in Western Christian society today and this year especially (including myself)! He does a fantastic job of cutting at the heart of the issue and giving simple biblical truths to show how a heart of gentleness can heal this nation and the relationships we have. I have personally been affected this year with the divisiveness of social media and politics and self-justification and this book helps frame the mindset of Christ and the mindset he calls us to treat others, because He first loved us. My favorite part is the framing of the Last Supper story, how the disciples didn’t say “Is it he?” but instead we’re introspective and aware to ask “Is it I, Lord?”. When we come to grips with the fact that we are the least of men and only Jesus’ completed work can justify us, then the Holy Spirit will convict us to not see people as “others”, but as loved by Christ and to walk humbly in the gentleness of His grace. PLEASR READ

[Kathryn Sandquist · Rating 5 out of 5]

If ever there was a timely book it is this! Currently there are protests following the death of George Floyd. Having the building in which I reside surrounded with protestors and police in riot gear last night and anticipating the same tonight, today I am reading the chapter, "We Do Anger Well." Toxic anger destroys the good in order to promote evil. Healthy anger is not life-diminishing but produces life-giving outcomes. Toxic anger works against shalom. Healthy anger promotes a love which detests that which injures or destroys. These words provide much needed perspective for these current days. This chapter also provides wisdom to meet everyday pet peeves as opportunities to feed or starve toxic anger. This book is helpful in facing anger on a grand scale and in facing anger on a small scale in our daily lives.

[Wendy LaPierre · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing book that speaks to Christ's response to the anger and discrimination in this world. Scott is a wonderful writer, I enjoy and respect his views as I read them in his blogs and videos, and this book brings fresh insight and encouragement for us all to give a gentle answer to those who are angry and hurting. I highly recommend it! Scott's words will feed your soul because they are inspired by the Holy Spirit, and lead the reader to pursue gentleness, kindness, love, beauty, reconciliation, and justice in this time of anger, fear, violence and racial tensions.

[Andrew Cody · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sauls does a good job to make you look back and think how Jesus would respond instead of how we respond to conflict and justify it through our understanding of truth. Similar to Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund, he does a good job showing the depravity of our own hearts and where we could end up without Jesus. Romans 5:8 is a theme in the whole book. Nothing we did earned our favor in Christ. This truth helps us in turn forgive, and be gentle to those underserving, because we are fully undeserving of any grace and equally capable of every atrocity on this planet because of the sin in our own heart.

[Brandi Breezee · Rating 5 out of 5]

As Christ is gentle with us, how can we not be gentle with our neighbors? As it is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance and not our repentance that leads us to God’s kindness, we must remember that we can “grow thicker skin, do anger well, receive criticism graciously, forgive all the way, bless our own betrayers, befriend our fellow sinners, resist our inner moralist, disarm guarded postures, and anything else of the sort” because whatever Jesus asks of us, he has already done for us. Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

[Porter Sprigg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Particularly poignant book to finish after the disaster that has been the beginning of 2021. This book has an excellent explanation of how Christ’s patience and grace can equip us to be patient and graceful. It’s not as powerful as “Jesus Outside the Lines” but it’s still a worthwhile read.

[Dave Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my favorite book of 2020. The author challenges you in so many ways throughout this book. This is the kind of book where you find yourself underlining almost every paragraph. I’m challenged to grow to be gentle toward those who disagree with, hate, speak evil against, or even betray me as a result of reading this book. That’s exactly how God treats sinners like me! It is His kindness that leads me to repentance, not the other way around. All followers of Jesus ought to give this book a humble, prayerful read.

[Adam · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scott Sauls did a great service to Christianity by writing this book. The message that he emphasizes in this book, that Christians must recover a gentle and compassionate posture such as what Jesus models in Scripture, is desperately needed in this current age. This is what will make the church the counter cultural community that we are called to be in this world. I appreciate his many examples taken from Scripture contrasted with many examples throughout history of this truth. I would strongly recommend this book to any Christian (or non-Christian) as a must-read in this current cultural moment.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

I underlined the very first paragraph of the foreword to this book (written by Ray Ortlund, btw) and rarely put the pen down after that. So much helpful, thoughtful content in every single chapter. It’s timely, but also timeless; convicting, but tender; and honest about our current reality, but also encouraging and hopeful. So well done.

[Christine Gustin · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up. Some great nuggets in here. I think there were some liberties taken in certain sections, but still a great read.

[Brittany Shields · Rating 5 out of 5]

“While true faith is filled with holy fire, it is a fire that is meant for refining and healing, as opposed to dividing and destroying.”

Division and destruction is the currency of the day. I’ve addressed this environment of ‘us vs them’ in many of my other reviews. It’s pervasive and it’s toxic.

How do we handle disagreements, attacks, or divisiveness?

Scott Sauls tells us: with A Gentle Answer.

This is the posture of Jesus and it’s what we should exemplify.

Sauls has written an excellent book that is absolutely necessary in today’s world. Giving gentle answers in impassioned communications is very hard. This book has challenged me and convicted me in the best ways. For when we remember our position before the Lord, how can we respond to others except with gentleness?


Why Be Gentle?

The first half of Sauls’ book shows how Jesus is gentle towards us.

We must recognize the ways that we are sinners, Pharisees, and cynics. We are no better or superior than anyone else.

When we are humbled to remember how dead we were in our sins until Jesus made us alive, when we are humbled to remember how often Jesus forgives our sin, when we are humbled to remember the ways we don’t always live in accordance to our beliefs, we will be slow to anger, derision, contempt, and dismissal.

“The scandal around Jesus is a reality that distinguishes Christianity from every other world religion, as well as from all forms of human philosophy and politics: Jesus and Christianity do not discriminate between good people and bad people. Instead, Jesus and Christianity discriminate between humble people and proud people. (James 4:6)”

I thought this was a very insightful distinction to make. We cannot separate good people and bad people because we are all bad people. It’s shocking, but true, to say that the same evil that resided in the heart of Hitler is in us too.

Humans are capable of unthinkable things. We can look all around the world in every culture and era and find evidence of this.

Humility to recognize our propensity to choose sin and selfishness helps us interact with others with gentleness because we see we are not so different from them after all.

“Some condemn Pharisees in order to keep their distance from biblical truths and commands that make them uncomfortable… just as we shouldn’t shoot the messenger because of a message we find difficult, neither should we shoot the message because of messengers we find difficult…

…If we are harboring an agenda to protect ourselves from having to deal with certain parts of God’s Word so as to free ourselves to think, believe, and live however we choose, we are no different than the scribes and the Pharisees.”

The discussion here is evaluating our motives behind our words— are they in error or self-serving? Are we all law without love? Are we love without truth? Are we condemning others as Pharisees and becoming Pharisees ourselves as we do it? Are we rejecting biblical truths because we don’t like the people who are saying them?

[An appropriate book to plug here is The Intolerance of Tolerance by D.A. Carson— the definition of tolerance has dangerously morphed.]


Gentleness Changes Us

Part II of the book describes 5 ways we are changed because of Jesus’ gentleness:

1. We grow thicker skin.
2. We do anger well.
3. We receive criticism graciously.
4. We forgive all the way.
5. We bless our own betrayers.

He talks about suffering as Christians, locally and globally. How we have strength to endure.

He reminds us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. Christ died for our sins and imperfections. And he forgave us while we were still his enemies.

He talks about sinful anger vs righteous anger. That healthy anger is characterized by patience and is life-giving. Unhealthy anger is life-diminishing and is characterized by resentment, retaliation, slander, and manipulation.

Tim Keller says, “Even if only 20% is true, we can profit from criticism given by people who are badly motivated or whom we don’t respect.”

We need to look for truth everywhere and see opportunities to continue to grow in Christ.

“We must learn to love the light, even when it exposes the darkness in us, as opposed to hiding from the light and shielding ourselves from exposure… We need a gentled posture before the Lord, his Word, and his truth-telling messengers, to become the people he desires for us to be.”

Jesus’ gentleness radically changes how we interact with people and sadly, you won’t find this humility very often. As followers of Christ, we need to respond like Christ and set an example in speech and behavior, with our words, our tone, our motives, and our deeds.

[Two appropriate books to plug here: 1) The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt which discusses the increasing demand for ‘safe spaces’ on college campuses which require the removal of ideas or rhetoric they don’t like or agree with. But everyone loses if we remove critique from our lives. 2) Fortitude: American Resilience in the Age of Outrage by Dan Crenshaw which implores us to be unoffendable and resilient and gracious. Sauls actually references Crenshaw’s ‘run-in’ with Pete Davidson on SNL and commends his handling of the situation]


Conclusion

Scott Sauls’ book is practical, gentle, and world-changing if we would all seek to give gentle answers, be gracious with criticism, humble, unoffendable, and slow to anger.

Refuse to be used by either political side, but find the path of Jesus that does not divide people by good and bad. It’s not an easy path, but it is where we are called to tread.

“Make no mistake: Jesus’ gentle answer was bold and costly. His gentle answer included pouring out his lifeblood and dying on the cross. Our gentle answer will be costly as well. We must die to ourselves, to our self-righteousness, to our indignation, and to our outrage.”

I highly recommend this book to all people who ever have to talk to people they disagree with. So yeah… that means you.

Sauls’ charge is a biblical and worthy one:

“To those who are prone to injure, the call is to repent and to engage in the noble work of renouncing hatred and exercising love. To those who are vulnerable to becoming injured, the call is to participate in the noble work of resisting bitter and retaliating roots of anger while embracing truth-telling, advocacy, and forgiveness. To all of us, the universal call is to lay down our swords, listen, learn from our differences, and build something beautiful.”



Other Quotes:

“In the same way that it would make zero sense to call Beethoven a substandard composer because a six-year-old plays a Beethoven piece sloppily and out of tune at a piano recital, it makes zero sense to call Jesus a substandard Savior because his followers imitate him poorly.”

“When we come to the realization that the line of good and evil cuts through our hearts just as it does through the heart of every kind of betrayer, it gives us pause about assuming a holier-than-thou or fiercely oppositional posture in our dealings with others. The more attuned we are to this reality of in dwelling sin in us— and of the war that goes on inside of us between flesh and spirit, the old man and the new creation, good and evil—the more empathetic and gentle and kind we will likely become, even toward those who’ve done horrendous and unspeakable things.”  

“We, too, are susceptible to warming ourselves at a fire created by the enemies of Jesus, surrendering our wills and ways to the tide of popular opinion. We, too, protect ourselves from having to take up crosses that Jesus— whose will and ways are counterculture to every culture— is calling us to carry in such a time as ours. In our modern context, a growing number of people who identify as Christian can, like Peter, allow themselves to become disciples of popular opinion as opposed to living as cross-bearing, counter cultural disciples of Jesus. This is especially true in areas where staying true to Jesus feels threatening socially, vocationally, politically, or otherwise. When blending in to popular opinion and staying on good terms with a world that does not love Jesus becomes priority, these Christians will eventually find themselves in a world of compromise.”


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[Cody Alan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scott’s writing is like sitting with him in a coffee shop & hearing him tell good stories. His invitations to biblical character & conduct in the midst of difficult situations are warm & compelling, particularly because he writes with himself in mind. Most of us have to learn gentleness the hard way, & this is a much needed resource to save us from future despair & to enhance a winsome witness at a divided time. Buy extra copies & give them to your friends!

[Jon Pentecost · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is in many ways an extended consideration of Christ's own gentleness as seen in the gospels, and then applying his example to us, as followers of Christ.

Sauls writes very vulnerably about his own struggles to speak with gentleness and kindness. There was an extended discussion of his response to unfair critiques on the internet that I found very helpful, in working to respond, engage, and yet not be dragged into un-Christlike words. I appreciated the book, and Sauls' openness even as he charged and exhorted the reader.

I picked up this book somewhat expecting it to be a more focused topic than it was. I was expecting more discussion of how to disagree well, how to speak with gentleness even in an argument--instead this book was more of a big-picture reflection on how Christ's love toward us should shape the way we treat others. So it was good, and a book I profited from, and was convicted by, but not quite what I was hoping for based on the title.

I'd recommend to any Christian struggling with how to speak with kindness and charity towards others. A timely discussion for our day.

[Liam · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Gentle Answer is Scott Sauls short treatment on how the gospel comes to bear on our interactions with others - particularly Non-christians. Sauls takes Jesus as the paradigm, and analyzes our current American cultural climate accordingly. He then brings the book home practically by addressing how we as Christians can engage in dialogue, in-person and online, with the gospel as our paradigm. The book also had very helpful and practical chapters on forgiveness and reconciliation.

Very good! Especially in our current cultural climate, where Christians, so far from being the example in public discourse, sadly are often the problem. Also see Sauls excellent sequel particularly about politics, Jesus Outside the Lines.

Personally I thought this was a 4 star book - however in our current cultural climate, this ones a 5 because of how dire the need is. Very much worth the read, especially for online interaction with others.

[Meredith Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a timely book. As Christians we are called to follow Christ's leading. I love this ...
"the fundamental difference between human religion and Christianity. Whereas human religion puts the likes of Zacchaeus, the greedy CEO, and others like them into the category of “them” or “the bad people,” Christianity says that we are all the same. All of us , without exception, are hopelessly stuck and isolated in sin and selfishness— unless and until Jesus looks up at us in the tree, calls us by name, and tells us to hurry up and come down to him because he is coming to our house today."
There should never be a them vs. us... Once we realize that God sees us all through the same lens we can unite one, as adopted family he created for us.

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Scott Sauls provides a great example of how Christians can engage other individuals and the culture at-large with whimsy, gentleness, and love. Pulling from Scripture and an array of historical sources, Sauls encourages the reader to remember the work and example of Jesus as he shapes both our attitudes and actions in regards to conflict and criticism.
Great resource for this age of instant anger we are living in.

ARC provided.

[John Pannell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't believe there could be a better time for the publication of this book. It's release today (2nd June 2020) a day marked with violence from both police and protestors, makes this a must read book across America. I'm reading this book at the moment in the UK and it is just as relevant to us as individuals and to our society. This is just one of many quotes from the book that impacted me.

"When I first read this modern-day account of “greater works than these,” I couldn’t help but remember the famous quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. as he eloquently explained the rationale behind his philosophy of protesting injustice by acts of peaceful resistance. King said, “Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
This is a gift of love packaged in a gentle yet powerful answer."

It releases in the UK on July 9th.

[Kaylene · Rating 5 out of 5]

As much as this book made me uncomfortable at times, it's pretty clear to me why. It's needed because of people exactly like me. It's too easy to lash out on social media. It's too easy to write off people who disagree with us as idiots. But it's become apparent to me that that's no way forward.

My one advice is, read the WHOLE thing. Scott Sauls paints beautiful imagery of the gentleness of Christ, showing without even needing to say that gentleness is not weakness. While I wrestle with how this will always look from day to day and the feelings of inadequacy for carrying out such a mission of grace, Sauls points me to the gentleness which Christ has for ME as well. And that's a beautiful thing. Which I don't deserve. Which I (should) pass on to others, even if they don't seem to deserve it either.

Wherever you stand, the philosophy of Christ's gentleness is one to study and be reckoned with.

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher, but all views are entirely my own

[Jacob Hudgins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t think Sauls quite achieved what he set out to do (define a completely new way of responding to current divisions), but it was a good effort.

For my part, there was waaaay too much Calvinistic jargon that didn’t really seem to connect to the thesis. He talked a lot more about our depravity than how we give a gentle answer. I get the idea that we are re-formed from within to act in a new way. I just think it’s interesting that for Calvinists that only seems to mean dwelling on how terrible you are.

I really liked the section where he encouraged modern Christians to develop thicker skin. That is a helpful way to think about this in an era defined by outrage.

A miss, but a near miss.

[Sandra Howell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Pastor Scott for once again showing us how to truly live as Christians and to be a life that touches everyone around us with the love of Jesus...what providential timing! From the very first paragraph your words direct us in how we can live our lives as the Christians we are called to be...my heart longs to be this...thank you for your voice leading the way..showing us, teaching us the way..exactly what I needed to hear! Now I need to read it again.

[Starr Cliff · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, excellent. So many things I could say. Importantly, helps me answer the question “What keeps my anger ‘righteous’”? Chapter 5, entitled “We Do Anger Well” is inspiring and helpful. “...we must be willing not only to feel, but to voice the anger of God against all forms of unjust violence toward human bodies and souls.”

Encouraged by the steadfast love of Jesus that enabled him to bless his betrayers and then call/empower his followers to do the same.

[Terry Timm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a timely book from Scott Sauls. It's remarkable that this book is being released in light of George Floyd's murder and the protests across our country. Scott brings sage wisdom from Scripture, providing a practical, yet powerful framework for Christian followers in the midst of a divided world. Gentleness is not weakness. These words particularly gripped me:

"Christians are also called to be among the world’s foremost leaders in the defense and protection of persecuted classes of people. This includes the unborn, the poor, the marginalized, oppressed minorities, as well as religious believers—whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or otherwise—who are persecuted for their faith. We have been commissioned by our Lord to stand for all of the world’s weak, vulnerable, and oppressed. We are indeed called to a form of anger that, while never retaliatory or vindictive in nature, is nonetheless righteous and proactive and protective." (79)

I did receive a copy of this book in advance from the publisher.

[Errol Castens · Rating 5 out of 5]

The fruit of the Spirit includes gentleness, but as Christians we often portray more doggedness than lamblikeness. Scott Sauls makes a beautiful case from scripture and example that a gentle answer, even to those who count themselves our enemies, can be disarming - and that when it isn’t disarming, it’s nevertheless a powerful witness.

[Hilary F · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could write a long review about how powerful, timely, encouraging, and challenging this book was. However, I think I’ll just say this: every Christian needs to read this book as soon as possible.

“Only when we embody a bold gentleness will our outraged world begin to notice that we are distinctly His disciples.” - Scott Sauls

[Jenna Knight · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is worth 10 stars. This book both edified and convicted me. It has pushed me into healing while also equipping me on how to be a better person. I highlighted entire pages and passages. This book will be a re-read and I will be referencing this and using Scott’s words in the future.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book was good but nothing groundbreaking or unexpected. I probably need to stop listening to Christian living books on audiobook though. I am tending to grade then harsher and might not be giving them a fair shake.

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very thought-provoking and important for our time! ‘A Gentle Answer’ is a must read.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gentle answer is something rare in our world today. In a world seemingly filled with hate and discord and an ‘us against them’ mentality, Scott Sauls reminds us of the power of a gentle answer. We desperately need that today.

“Christlike gentleness and prophetic strength do not cancel each other out; rather, they complete each other. It is Jesus’ love—his gentleness and grace toward us—that equips us and compels us to stand up and speak out against injustice and hurt in the world.”

I recommend this book as a ‘Must Read’ for all who want to explore the way of a Christ inspired gentle answer in order to make a positive difference in our world today.

[Samuel Park · Rating 5 out of 5]

A calmness in the midst of an outrage storm

Manu social media platforms, news outlets, tv shows and even conversations at work are designed to elicit rage.

So do we respond in rage? Or is there another option?

This books argues for a “bold but gentle “ response/attitude. Grounded in rich theology , Scott Sauls helps the reader see that gentleness is a strength and uniqueness that shows the beauty of Jesus in a world of outrage

[Caleb Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is desperately needed in today’s polarized world. It was also a much needed reminder for my own prone-to-wander heart.