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The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction
THE NEW ADOLESCENCE is a realistic and reassuring handbook for parents. It offers road-tested, science-based solutions for raising happy, healthy, and successful teenagers. You'll find practical guidance A highly acclaimed sociologist and senior fellow at UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, Dr. Christine Carter melds research--including the latest findings in neuroscience, sociology, and social psychology--with her own real-world experiences as the mother of four teenagers.
230 pages, Paperback
Published February 18, 2020
127 people are currently reading
2097 people want to read
About the author
Christine Carter
25 books78 followersChristine Carter, Ph.D., is a sociologist and author of The New Adolescence, The Sweet Spot and Raising Happiness. A sought-after keynote speaker and senior fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, she draws on scientific research to help people lead their most courageous, joyful, meaningful, and productive lives.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
January 27, 2020
I think it was fabulous! :-) But then again, I wrote it.
April 13, 2021
I’ll round up to four stars on this, I think. It has a good amount of information and actionable tips—albeit many of the “take what’s useful, leave the rest” variety—and I didn’t find myself yelling at the book via margin notes too much, which is a thing that happens whenever I read anything even remotely self-helpy. (Maybe I liked it because I mostly agreed with it already? Funny how that works.)
The author writes from a position of having older, “typical” teens, but the book feels like a good way for even parents of younger kids, or kids who are less stereotypical (for example, kids *not* motivated to earn money because they want to buy brand-name clothes), to get a jump on things by inviting us to think about certain issues before they become problems we’re actively dealing with in real time. (My oldest is 12 and a lot of the advice isn’t relevant yet, but I imagine it will be soon.) The good end notes and good index add to the book’s usefulness as a resource you can dip back into over time.
The book has all the regular problems that come with writing from a place of privilege (e.g., there’s a fair amount of “do what you love and the money will follow”–adjacent magical thinking that leaves out so many people from the general population who don’t have built-in safety nets), but the author does at least make an effort to acknowledge this limitation (although she doesn’t always then act in accordance with what she says she values). Still, overall, I think there’s a lot of worthwhile stuff here, especially if you’re a parent who leans toward the permissive and/or achievement-obsessed and/or materialistic style of parenting. (I don’t, but it’s nice to feel validated that the Other Ways are recommended.) For me the best advice was that it’s important not just to allow our kids to make mistakes (I’m pretty good at that) but to be mindful about how we react when that happens. (I need to be kinder and less I-told-you-so.)
This isn’t a definitive book, but I do recommend adding it to your broad, deep reading on parenting.
The author writes from a position of having older, “typical” teens, but the book feels like a good way for even parents of younger kids, or kids who are less stereotypical (for example, kids *not* motivated to earn money because they want to buy brand-name clothes), to get a jump on things by inviting us to think about certain issues before they become problems we’re actively dealing with in real time. (My oldest is 12 and a lot of the advice isn’t relevant yet, but I imagine it will be soon.) The good end notes and good index add to the book’s usefulness as a resource you can dip back into over time.
The book has all the regular problems that come with writing from a place of privilege (e.g., there’s a fair amount of “do what you love and the money will follow”–adjacent magical thinking that leaves out so many people from the general population who don’t have built-in safety nets), but the author does at least make an effort to acknowledge this limitation (although she doesn’t always then act in accordance with what she says she values). Still, overall, I think there’s a lot of worthwhile stuff here, especially if you’re a parent who leans toward the permissive and/or achievement-obsessed and/or materialistic style of parenting. (I don’t, but it’s nice to feel validated that the Other Ways are recommended.) For me the best advice was that it’s important not just to allow our kids to make mistakes (I’m pretty good at that) but to be mindful about how we react when that happens. (I need to be kinder and less I-told-you-so.)
This isn’t a definitive book, but I do recommend adding it to your broad, deep reading on parenting.
July 3, 2021
Listened via audible. Can a parent listen to enough books abotu parenting? I mean, probably. 1st half of this book was fine but the second half was better. All these books - you take a way a few things and hopefully thats all you need to be the perfect parent (ha).
August 19, 2020
Phenomenally accessible, I know that it's easy to review a book I enjoyed and also felt a sense of kinship in reading-- not that I have a teenager yet, but as she describes in the beginning of the book, my kids are hitting puberty and therefore part of adolescence and having boys, knowing that this will continue into their twenties. So I'm there, but I also wholeheartedly appreciate her approach: a balance of personal stories/biographical with the larger portion focused on her work in sociology and scientific study. Then she truly hits her mission of addressing "new adolescence" in the sense that teenagers now are different with the fourth industrial revolution, that of technology infused everything.
She is focused in her approach that includes clear chapters and headings, bullet points, bold text, and text boxes when necessary that allow for a perfect flow between ideas. Again, also balancing the waves of personal stories with the professional approach of raising teenagers and how to engage in meaningful conversation but what to be prepared for when it doesn't go well (like, what is going on in their brains!) and how to re-calibrate. I definitely highlighted some text and it makes me want to improve my parenting while also solidifying some of the things that my spouse and I already do with our children.
The best kind of books related to social/psychology and science are the ones that make me think and want to re-think my approach. And this one does just that. Plus it helps in my job too because I work with teenagers!
She is focused in her approach that includes clear chapters and headings, bullet points, bold text, and text boxes when necessary that allow for a perfect flow between ideas. Again, also balancing the waves of personal stories with the professional approach of raising teenagers and how to engage in meaningful conversation but what to be prepared for when it doesn't go well (like, what is going on in their brains!) and how to re-calibrate. I definitely highlighted some text and it makes me want to improve my parenting while also solidifying some of the things that my spouse and I already do with our children.
The best kind of books related to social/psychology and science are the ones that make me think and want to re-think my approach. And this one does just that. Plus it helps in my job too because I work with teenagers!
January 20, 2022
Nothing necessarily groundbreaking here, but good reminders and tips to keep me focused on being a respectful and effective partner to my teen as she transitions to adulthood.
November 10, 2022
I felt like the book was accessible. A lot of good suggestions without feeling preachy or just making me feel like a terrible parent : ) I didn't agree with everything, but I never do with these books. All in all, I'm glad I read it and would recommend to others!
March 25, 2024
If you have teens or tweens, this is a must read book! It is so informative of how to communicate with our growing kids, and really lays out very well with the dangers of cell phones and social media are for our kids and the implications that they cause.
August 9, 2020
Wow! Packed with good information. Raising kids is definitely not for the faint of heart.
December 14, 2023
Read this book with a healthy dose of skepticism. She offers some good, data-driven insights with suggestions.
It is odd how well she reviews existing data regarding screen time, sleep and other important areas, because this ability to invoke data driven recommendations is shockingly missing in one important area of this book. The sex chapter.
At first I assumed this was due the ideological capture of the publishing industry. But then she admits "one of my daughters is queer." This is actually the perfect snapshot of one of many of the subtypes of the new LGBTQ+ kids. Wealthy white kids who are straight but feel guilty about, well, everything since they have those original sins, on paper this kid is "an oppressor." What's a kid to do?
The only option available is to run to the open arms of the queer tent and throw off the cloak of "cis-heteronormativity" by adopting a new identity. Safe from self-recrimination in the realm of "oppressed," she can continue to live exactly how she did before (straight girl dating boys, the author says as much), and even feel very powerful as she re-educates her parents on the vast nonbinary spectrum of gender and sex.
The problem is that while some of these kids are LARPing at oppression, all too many of the more vulnerable kids will enter on the gateway drug of simply "questioning" but become captured by the algorithms that take them further down the rabbit hole. Google Jeffrey Marsh if you need an example of creepy faux-love from an internet stranger they will find, telling them their parents are toxic and the way forward includes affirmation, blockers, cross-sex hormones and surgery.
If you want an actual data-driven, compassionate, nonjudgmental yer honest look into the gender industrial medical complex, the renowned British investigative journalist Hannah Barnes's " Time to Think" will provide it. If you want to know what to DO if your child is flirting with gender issues, Abigail Shrier's "irreversible Damage" is a place to start.
Author: You talk about the scourge of ubiquitous internet porn on kids as young as NINE but missed the well-documented influence this exposure has on kids. The weird, unnatural porn sex has the documented effect of putting them more at risk of sexual exploitation or of attempting to escape what they mistakenly think their gender requires of them. Read a few detransitioner stories like Chloe Cole's and you'll notice several trends. These kids, almost universally, had WAY too much screen time with unfettered access to social media and porn. Seeing what "womanhood" looks like via trashy porn, their little brains went looking for an escape hatch and found one.
You emphasize how the adolescent brain is undeveloped until age 25. You laud the importance of consent in all things. Yet you think they are capable of giving informed consent to a blocker at age 9? (Yes, this is documented, as young as NINE). Almost no one goes off blockers without progressing the irreversible and sterilizing cross sex hormones, so a child who isn't big enough for most rollercoaster can agree to a shortened life-expectancy full of documented dangers to their bones, heart, brain, metabolic health, not to mention increased (yes increased) risk of depression and suicide? And since you speak about telling your kids the joys of sex, it should matter to you that kids who opt out of their natural puberty via blockers and opposite sex hormones, the current evidence suggests it's not possible for them to have an orgasm. Like ever. How can they consent to losing something they've never experienced? You can't experience full adult orgasm until you go through puberty. So a child could never understand what it means to throw away not only a lifetime of sexual health and experience, while also taking on elevated risk of sexual exploitation. Transgender kids are also more likely to be trafficked for sex, raped, assaulted and murdered. There are a multitude of driving forces behind this, activists would say that is due to transphobia, but so far the real world evidence suggests it is actually more likely they are engaging in risky behavior (engaging with sexual predators online and in real life), and that the pro-affirmation crowd for LGBTQ+ overlaps considerably with the "sex positive, pro hookup, pro-sex work" crowd, which openly works to diminish any taboo around sex work, which ultimately also reduces barriers to entry as we convince kids sex work is a legitimate career path. And studies show differ, but suggest somewhere between 25-75% of trans identifying individuals engage in paid sex-workin their lifetime.
Sex workers are at an extremely elevated risk for physical and sexual abuse, substance abuse, exploitation, and murder. The customers are people who do not have the interpersonal skills to develop relationships that can lead to consensual sex without payment. That's a recipe for disaster when they encounter young, vulnerable young sex "workers" who they view not as people but as products they have purchased the right to use for their own pleasure. What could go wrong?
On the subject of consent, your inclusion of such personal details about your own kids is exploitative, no matter what they agreed to. If you're lucky, they'll just resent you later for documenting their "gender queer" phase for all the world to see. If you are unlucky, your affirmation to the tune of publishing her new "identity" as fact increases the odds it won't just be a phase. We know, the data shows that social affirmation increases the odds a child will continue forward towards medically-induced, irreversible changes to her body (versus the "watchful waiting" approach whereby 80% of dysphoric children's discomfort with their sex disappears when they are not socially affirmed or transitioned (but still provided mental health support as needed) once puberty progresses naturally.
It is odd how well she reviews existing data regarding screen time, sleep and other important areas, because this ability to invoke data driven recommendations is shockingly missing in one important area of this book. The sex chapter.
At first I assumed this was due the ideological capture of the publishing industry. But then she admits "one of my daughters is queer." This is actually the perfect snapshot of one of many of the subtypes of the new LGBTQ+ kids. Wealthy white kids who are straight but feel guilty about, well, everything since they have those original sins, on paper this kid is "an oppressor." What's a kid to do?
The only option available is to run to the open arms of the queer tent and throw off the cloak of "cis-heteronormativity" by adopting a new identity. Safe from self-recrimination in the realm of "oppressed," she can continue to live exactly how she did before (straight girl dating boys, the author says as much), and even feel very powerful as she re-educates her parents on the vast nonbinary spectrum of gender and sex.
The problem is that while some of these kids are LARPing at oppression, all too many of the more vulnerable kids will enter on the gateway drug of simply "questioning" but become captured by the algorithms that take them further down the rabbit hole. Google Jeffrey Marsh if you need an example of creepy faux-love from an internet stranger they will find, telling them their parents are toxic and the way forward includes affirmation, blockers, cross-sex hormones and surgery.
If you want an actual data-driven, compassionate, nonjudgmental yer honest look into the gender industrial medical complex, the renowned British investigative journalist Hannah Barnes's " Time to Think" will provide it. If you want to know what to DO if your child is flirting with gender issues, Abigail Shrier's "irreversible Damage" is a place to start.
Author: You talk about the scourge of ubiquitous internet porn on kids as young as NINE but missed the well-documented influence this exposure has on kids. The weird, unnatural porn sex has the documented effect of putting them more at risk of sexual exploitation or of attempting to escape what they mistakenly think their gender requires of them. Read a few detransitioner stories like Chloe Cole's and you'll notice several trends. These kids, almost universally, had WAY too much screen time with unfettered access to social media and porn. Seeing what "womanhood" looks like via trashy porn, their little brains went looking for an escape hatch and found one.
You emphasize how the adolescent brain is undeveloped until age 25. You laud the importance of consent in all things. Yet you think they are capable of giving informed consent to a blocker at age 9? (Yes, this is documented, as young as NINE). Almost no one goes off blockers without progressing the irreversible and sterilizing cross sex hormones, so a child who isn't big enough for most rollercoaster can agree to a shortened life-expectancy full of documented dangers to their bones, heart, brain, metabolic health, not to mention increased (yes increased) risk of depression and suicide? And since you speak about telling your kids the joys of sex, it should matter to you that kids who opt out of their natural puberty via blockers and opposite sex hormones, the current evidence suggests it's not possible for them to have an orgasm. Like ever. How can they consent to losing something they've never experienced? You can't experience full adult orgasm until you go through puberty. So a child could never understand what it means to throw away not only a lifetime of sexual health and experience, while also taking on elevated risk of sexual exploitation. Transgender kids are also more likely to be trafficked for sex, raped, assaulted and murdered. There are a multitude of driving forces behind this, activists would say that is due to transphobia, but so far the real world evidence suggests it is actually more likely they are engaging in risky behavior (engaging with sexual predators online and in real life), and that the pro-affirmation crowd for LGBTQ+ overlaps considerably with the "sex positive, pro hookup, pro-sex work" crowd, which openly works to diminish any taboo around sex work, which ultimately also reduces barriers to entry as we convince kids sex work is a legitimate career path. And studies show differ, but suggest somewhere between 25-75% of trans identifying individuals engage in paid sex-workin their lifetime.
Sex workers are at an extremely elevated risk for physical and sexual abuse, substance abuse, exploitation, and murder. The customers are people who do not have the interpersonal skills to develop relationships that can lead to consensual sex without payment. That's a recipe for disaster when they encounter young, vulnerable young sex "workers" who they view not as people but as products they have purchased the right to use for their own pleasure. What could go wrong?
On the subject of consent, your inclusion of such personal details about your own kids is exploitative, no matter what they agreed to. If you're lucky, they'll just resent you later for documenting their "gender queer" phase for all the world to see. If you are unlucky, your affirmation to the tune of publishing her new "identity" as fact increases the odds it won't just be a phase. We know, the data shows that social affirmation increases the odds a child will continue forward towards medically-induced, irreversible changes to her body (versus the "watchful waiting" approach whereby 80% of dysphoric children's discomfort with their sex disappears when they are not socially affirmed or transitioned (but still provided mental health support as needed) once puberty progresses naturally.
did-not-finish
October 20, 2022[I borrowed this book in paper at my last duty station, then we moved from the area and the new library does not have it, nor is it available in ebook form in any library that I belong to, so I'm shifting it to the "did not finish" pile.]
Ehhhh, I'm kind of irritated by this book, but I also kind of want to buy it to refer to again and again.
This is one of those books that was published at an unfortunate time (2020) and therefore already has a quaintness of pre-pandemic days. It's also definitely oriented for an affluent audience (boarding school, college-assumed, etc).
Ehhhh, I'm kind of irritated by this book, but I also kind of want to buy it to refer to again and again.
This is one of those books that was published at an unfortunate time (2020) and therefore already has a quaintness of pre-pandemic days. It's also definitely oriented for an affluent audience (boarding school, college-assumed, etc).
October 18, 2020
I heard the author on the Tilt Parenting podcast and wanted to hear more. I borrowed the book from the library, and returned it unfinished.
The chapter on when kids struggle is tone deaf and offensive, especially in the midst of a pandemic. It claims life in America has improved so much that even being poor isn’t that bad. Several pages are devoted to this claim and I just couldn’t get past it. Even before COVID, families were struggling.
Don’t recommend and did not finish.
The chapter on when kids struggle is tone deaf and offensive, especially in the midst of a pandemic. It claims life in America has improved so much that even being poor isn’t that bad. Several pages are devoted to this claim and I just couldn’t get past it. Even before COVID, families were struggling.
Don’t recommend and did not finish.
May 24, 2020
The research seems solid and the writing of this book is very clear. The only thing I wish the author had done was make this more inclusive for non-neurotypical individuals, for whom these strategies are only pieces in a puzzle, not full solutions.
Read
December 25, 2024Despite the extensive bibliography and the author’s credentials, the book feels rather simplistic in its approach to parenting teens. I have a few specific qualms.
First, so many contracts and rules. It’s as if it’s not a family she is talking about but a corporation or how she coaches her clients. There is a sort of detachment to it which might be effective (and efficient), but it’s as warm as Mycroft Holmes. Here is what I mean: MH is brilliant and effective, but both he and his brother hold the belief that warmth is an impediment to best outcomes. I do not mean that this necessarily describes the author of the book under review, but I got the impression of sterility in all the bullet lists and talking points.
Second, if you have a teenager that is in any way “different” - be it neurodivergent or anxious or gifted, this book is practically useless. The author’s thesis seems to be that the root of all evil for teens (and other age groups) is the alienation caused (mostly) by smartphones. Well, I am not buying that. That outlook is simply asking for someone to shout “Ok, boomer!”. (Yes, I am aware that she’s not a boomer.)
Third, the book is obviously written from a well-to-do place which is acknowledged in the next-to-last chapter. However, privilege somehow permeates the entire book and makes me see every tool and piece of advice through the lens of wealth.
Fourth, the author quotes both Matthew Walker and Johann Hari. The former was criticized quite a bit for making categorical claims in his book Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams that should have been more cautious. The latter is a confirmed plagiarist.
Fifth, and most importantly, there is too much emphasis on causality in what must have been observational studies. Of course, experiments in this particular situation would not be ethical, but that does not mean that the author can make declarations about causality openly dismissing any objections a reader might have regarding confounding. Now, I am not a sociologist, so I do not know the norms of the trade. But, I do know statistics and I balked at the author’s assertions. For an example of intriguing and cautious writing, I recommend wholeheartedly Inventing Ourselves: The Secret Life of the Teenage Brain.
First, so many contracts and rules. It’s as if it’s not a family she is talking about but a corporation or how she coaches her clients. There is a sort of detachment to it which might be effective (and efficient), but it’s as warm as Mycroft Holmes. Here is what I mean: MH is brilliant and effective, but both he and his brother hold the belief that warmth is an impediment to best outcomes. I do not mean that this necessarily describes the author of the book under review, but I got the impression of sterility in all the bullet lists and talking points.
Second, if you have a teenager that is in any way “different” - be it neurodivergent or anxious or gifted, this book is practically useless. The author’s thesis seems to be that the root of all evil for teens (and other age groups) is the alienation caused (mostly) by smartphones. Well, I am not buying that. That outlook is simply asking for someone to shout “Ok, boomer!”. (Yes, I am aware that she’s not a boomer.)
Third, the book is obviously written from a well-to-do place which is acknowledged in the next-to-last chapter. However, privilege somehow permeates the entire book and makes me see every tool and piece of advice through the lens of wealth.
Fourth, the author quotes both Matthew Walker and Johann Hari. The former was criticized quite a bit for making categorical claims in his book Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams that should have been more cautious. The latter is a confirmed plagiarist.
Fifth, and most importantly, there is too much emphasis on causality in what must have been observational studies. Of course, experiments in this particular situation would not be ethical, but that does not mean that the author can make declarations about causality openly dismissing any objections a reader might have regarding confounding. Now, I am not a sociologist, so I do not know the norms of the trade. But, I do know statistics and I balked at the author’s assertions. For an example of intriguing and cautious writing, I recommend wholeheartedly Inventing Ourselves: The Secret Life of the Teenage Brain.
September 28, 2021
From the outset, the author came across as honest and genuine. She stated clearly in the beginning, to take what we found useful and to leave the rest. That “permission” of sorts, helped me relax.. the pressure was off; I didn’t have to do ALL THE THINGS.
Broadly speaking, the book espouses the authoritative style of parenting. There are plenty of examples about how to speak to our teens and tweens, with confidence, without bossiness. If you know me in personal life, you know that I love marking my books… underlining important bits, writing in the margins. So it was great that most important parts were written in bold. Next time I want to skim through, I can read through the bold print to refresh my memory. (Does this mean I didn’t mark this one? Pfft. Please. 😂)
My absolute favourite chapters were the ones dealing with sex, drugs and money. Especially sex and drugs. These two topics are daunting and awkward, and something I dread talking about when the time comes.
Re: sex
Being a practising Muslim, I’m going to teach my children to abstain until marriage. However, they still need to be informed about many important aspects. I don’t know about peer pressure in this regard… I didn’t experience that, but my kids are growing up in a different environment. So I need to prepare them accordingly. In other parenting books/blogs, I’ve read about parents buying condoms for their teens because “they’re going to do it anyway, they might as well be safe.” That’s fine - to each their own. But how do I convince *my kids* not to? This book cites research that shows why sex in teens is actually harmful in the long term, and that waiting until you have a meaningful relationship is much better.
I can see myself referring to this book to help with this conversation when the time comes.
Also: this book is filled with references to other books. I’ve made a list! 😆
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 10, 2023
Raising teenagers takes courage.
In this time of 'over parenting' it's sometimes hard to know when to step back and when to step in.
Gen Xers raising Gen Z teenagers are at a unique time in history. With the creation of so many technologies, the internet, and social media, parents are just getting to know the ins and outs of them all whereas the kids don't know a life without any of them. It's hard to teach them the plusses, minuses, dangers and pitfalls, when we're just learning them ourselves.
There are so many new stressors and pressures in this competitive age, not to mention added issues with sex, drugs, and alcohol, that it's hard to make sure you're steering your teenagers in the right direction to lead a successful and fulfilling life.
This book has a lot of helpful guidance to aid you in the navigation through your teenagers' formative years.
I feel overwhelmed yet a bit more confident.
(I received a complimentary copy of this book from NetGalley)
In this time of 'over parenting' it's sometimes hard to know when to step back and when to step in.
Gen Xers raising Gen Z teenagers are at a unique time in history. With the creation of so many technologies, the internet, and social media, parents are just getting to know the ins and outs of them all whereas the kids don't know a life without any of them. It's hard to teach them the plusses, minuses, dangers and pitfalls, when we're just learning them ourselves.
There are so many new stressors and pressures in this competitive age, not to mention added issues with sex, drugs, and alcohol, that it's hard to make sure you're steering your teenagers in the right direction to lead a successful and fulfilling life.
This book has a lot of helpful guidance to aid you in the navigation through your teenagers' formative years.
I feel overwhelmed yet a bit more confident.
(I received a complimentary copy of this book from NetGalley)
January 17, 2020
As an educator and mom of teens, I found this book to be a "one stop shop" for all the advice you need to start down a great parenting path or to do some course corrections. Dr. Christine Carter blends anecdotes from her own life with adolescents as well as the from her years of coaching adults. The statistics are staggering, the scripts are easily applied and the examples are based in this generation’s reality. Her authenticity and her solid coaching approach will allow every parent the encouragement that they need to just give some of her ideas a try. I have already started telling my daughter…..” It’s your call!” Along with Julie Lythcott-Haims’ book How to Raise an Adult, The New Adolescence will be on my list of most recommended books for parents and educators alike.
December 14, 2020
This had some scary statistics but it served its purpose making sure parents know that suicide, sexual assault, depression, and anxiety rates are all constantly rising.
My niece is a preteen and I wanted to start reading books on how to handle questions she might have and make sure I can translate my support and love for her in a language she would hear and not be embarrassed by.
This had great ideas how to broach topics, how to set boundaries, and start that train in motion so when they are put in situations they know how to handle them. I would 100% read this again and recommend it to not only teenage mothers but to anyone who has little ones in their life because it has great building blocks to make sure and start young to set that foundation right.
My niece is a preteen and I wanted to start reading books on how to handle questions she might have and make sure I can translate my support and love for her in a language she would hear and not be embarrassed by.
This had great ideas how to broach topics, how to set boundaries, and start that train in motion so when they are put in situations they know how to handle them. I would 100% read this again and recommend it to not only teenage mothers but to anyone who has little ones in their life because it has great building blocks to make sure and start young to set that foundation right.
August 31, 2020
Honestly, where was this book when I needed it?! I work in a library and it has always astonished me that there aren't more books written on this age group. They are really needed, especially now with all the distractions of electronic devices. Kudos Dr. Carter! You have your work cut out for you with 4 teens of your own! Thanks for sharing your research and life experience. If your children are about to enter this stage, read this book, it will be helpful.
I received a Kindle arc from Netgalley in exchange for a fair review.
I received a Kindle arc from Netgalley in exchange for a fair review.
December 29, 2021
As a mother of two tweens, I really appreciated this books direct suggestions. Many great parenting books are out there, but this one offers ideas the author has used with her own teens for how to deal with specific situations that come up in modern parenting (phones, vaping, sexting, distracted driving). We're not there yet for most of this, but it's good to be prepared... And, yes, this was written before the pandemic, so some things are more complicated, but the concerns about teens becoming isolated and only interacting with their devices is all the more applicable.
May 17, 2020
As the mother of an 11 year old I was excited to receive an ARC of this book from Netgalley.
It absolutely did not disappoint. It is full of useful ideas to help make your familial relationships healthy and stronger.
It gave me a lot of confidence as a mother, knowing that I'm doing it right. I just need to keep persevering and my son will become the healthy independent adult I know he can be.
Highly recommended for anyone with children 8+. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
It absolutely did not disappoint. It is full of useful ideas to help make your familial relationships healthy and stronger.
It gave me a lot of confidence as a mother, knowing that I'm doing it right. I just need to keep persevering and my son will become the healthy independent adult I know he can be.
Highly recommended for anyone with children 8+. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
September 15, 2022
I think this applies to both teens and adults! I found many useful tips for myself and made my son listen to several of the chapters as well. I was really surprised by the chapter on drugs and the affects of marijuana on the adolescent brain. I think some consideration could have been given to non neurotypical teens and the chapter on money management could only have been written by someone of privilege, but overall I'd recommend this book.
October 9, 2022
Parents, if you are struggling to communicate with your teen, but are resolved not to repeat intergenerational conflicts, this will be one to add to your toolkit. Carter has the experience and she softens the blow of some fact-based arguments that I didn't particularly want to--but needed to hear. Still finding a balance, still lots of trial and error... lots of error. But I'm a better parent for reading this book, no doubt.
January 12, 2025
As with any informational book you pick and choose what you use. There were some things I disagreed with but overall found some really good information and I also like how this book gives examples and a quick breakdown at the end of each chapter if you’re in a hurry or if you just want to look back really quick. The last chapter “Conclusion “ was the golden ticket though. If we can instill and live “connection” and “meaning” from an early age…we can squash the teen pandemic of suicide!
March 10, 2020
I won this book on Goodreads. It was an insightful look at todays electronic culture and the young teenage developing mind. The new stressors and knowledge as well as dangers lurking that implode in our children's brains every day. Excellent ideas on handling situations that will come up. I have given it to my daughter who has four kids ages 9-14. Good luck all of you parents of today.
May 9, 2020
I found this book to have some very helpful information in it for raising teenagers. As a mother of a 14 year old, some of it scared the crap out of me but I’m glad I read it and I’m in the know about teens growing up in our world today. I was shocked at some of the statistics (some good, some bad). Some parts were redundant, but otherwise a good guide for parents of teens.
April 15, 2021
I haven't taken notes while reading for a long time, but I found myself doing so with this book. I loved the information on connection, sleep and stillness. The contacts at the end for owning a phone and driving a car were profound. I felt hopeful about raising adolescents after reading this book. Highly recommend.
October 9, 2021
I highly recommend this book. It was easy to read- especially in the midst of a difficult time. It doesn't sound self righteous or preach-y. The stats were just enough to gasp and want to apply the suggested strategy. I appreciated the bold print and side boxes for referring back to the information.
December 23, 2021
A fair bit over the top in its assumptions, particularly regarding school. I think it's fine for the average parent with a child in stand, compulsory schooling, but I am not entirely on board with how much she seemed to encourage parents having a rather large role in directing their child's educational path.
At least that's the big negative I got from it.
At least that's the big negative I got from it.
February 18, 2020
Full of great information and techniques, I’m just not sure I always agreed with the stance the author wanted me to agree with. Definitely an interesting resource for having conversations with teens though.
May 26, 2020
This is a great supportive guide for raising neurotypical teens (and tweens) in today's world. The world is complicated and this offers a deeper dive into the world of raising neurotypical adolescents with some great strategies for building healthier family dynamics.
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