The Gran Tour: Travels with my Elders

by Ben Aitken

When Ben Aitken- a millennial Bill Bryson- learnt that his gran had enjoyed a four-night holiday including four three-course dinners, four cooked breakfasts, four games of bingo, a pair of excursions, sixteen pints of lager and luxury return coach travel, all for a hundred pounds, he thought, that's the life, and signed himself up. Six times over. Good value aside, what Ben was really after was the company of his elders - those with more chapters under their belt, with the wisdom granted by experience, the candour gifted by time, and the hard-earned ability to live each day like it's nearly their last. A series of coach holidays ensued - from Scarborough to St Ives, Killarney to Lake Como - during which Ben attempts to shake off his thirty-something blues by getting old as soon as possible.

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction, Memoir, Humor, Audiobook, British Literature, Biography Memoir

306 pages, Paperback

First published September 3, 2020

About the author

Ben Aitken was born under Thatcher, grew to 6ft then stopped, and is an Aquarius. He is the author of six books: Dear Bill Bryson, A Chip Shop in Poznan (a Times bestseller), The Gran Tour ('Both moving and hilarious', Spectator), The Marmalade Diaries, Here Comes the Fun and Shitty Breaks.

Reviews

[Maureen Grigsby · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite entertaining. Honestly, old people can be pretty darned funny.

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I first came across Ben Aitken last year when I read The Marmalade Diaries, his funny and surprising account of a year spent as a lodger with a remarkable woman in her eighties. The Gran Tour predates that book but displays a similar empathy and understanding of older people. His ‘Gran Tour’ (excellent title) takes the form of a series of coach tour holidays in the UK and Europe where he is the youngest tour member by some forty years. As in The Marmalade Diaries, his ear for the funny and outlandish things that people say is finely attuned, but what shines through most strongly is his willingness to listen and understand the view from old age, and the sense of people determined to get the most out of what remains of their lives through friendship, love, humour and having a good time. As with The Marmalade Diaries, The Gran Tour would have benefited from a good copy editor: the author’s repeated use of ‘I was sat’ when he means ‘I was sitting’ and some unfortunate factual errors (confusing the Yorkshire River Ouse with the Great Ouse of the Fens, and misquoting one of the most famous lines in English poetry) are irritating features in an otherwise enjoyable read. Nevertheless, The Gran Tour deserves to be read as an entertaining and positive view of inter generational relations.

[Abbey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Highly recommended read. Really enjoyed the conversations between the author and the older generations he was travelling with. Chats about their pasts, their thoughts and their life experiences. I loved the author's writing style and his ability to weave humour into it.

[Kitty · Rating 4 out of 5]

sellise ühe-teema-raamatu kohta oli see väga hea. üks varajastes 30ndates mees teeb kaasa kuus briti pensionäride bussireisi, põhiliselt Briti saartel, aga korra jõuab Itaaliasse välja. ühel reisil on tal kaasas omaenda vanaema ja ühel reisil tüdruksõber, aga tundub, et üksinda reisides sai ta kõige paremini reisikaaslastega jutule.

ja talle tõesti tundub olevat meeldinud nendega rääkida, suur osa raamatust annab edasi jutuajamisi vanainimestega, mis on enamasti pigem naljakad, aga kellegi üle nalja ei tehta. lihtsalt selline... elu enda absurd.

see kõik meenutab mulle kõvasti Bill Brysonit ja juhuslikult - või siis mitte - ongi Aitken ühe raamatu kirjutanud n-ö Brysoni jälgedes (käinud läbi samad kohad, mis Bryson "Notes from a Small Islandis"). seda ma lugenud ei ole. aga üldises stiilis ja lähenemises on neil kindlasti midagi sarnast, oskus argiasjadesse süveneda ja neist vaimustuda ehk.

minu meelest töötab see üsna hästi ka sellise... low-key reisiraamatuna. üsna realistlik vaade sellest, mida tegelikult saab näha ja kogeda, kui teha üks nädalane reis Walesis või Cornwallis või Šotimaal või Iirimaal. aga põhiliselt muidugi ikkagi on siin vanadest inimestest ja sellest, mis neil elu kohta öelda on niisama bussisõidu ajal või hommikusöögilauas või bingo kõrvale.

[Kris (My Novelesque Life)]

DNF @28%

I joined this online book club called First Friday book club through an American library. This was the second pick after a successful first meeting. I lost interest into the travel memoir pretty quickly, so decided to not finish this one.

[Kay]

I am over an hour into this audiobook and it is both annoying and boring me. A good part is due to the author's narration. He drones on in low voice in estauary English, which is difficult for my aging ears if I am listening with any competing noise (as when cooking or doing dishes, for example). And I am surprised to find that pronunciations such as "birfday" are as much a trigger as vocal fry or upspeak for me.

But the main issue is that the book seems to be a stream of the author's thoughts on what he's doing and observing, reflections on life, aging, and anything else that crosses his mind, and, well, frankly I'd rather sit and conduct my own thoughts than listen to his.

Initial hope was that this would be akin to Bill Bryson, and indeed there is some humor, but it doesn't come close to Bryson, who is genuinely entertaining.

Or maybe it's a generational thing and I. Just. Don't. Get. It. This I am willing to concede, so I'm not going to rate this one. Since I am of the "gran" age myself, perhaps it's just a sore subject.

[Theediscerning · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been on more coach holidays than I have been on hot dinners. That would at times appear to be a quote from this book, but is a statement from your humble reviewer. For yes, I've been on coach hols from Alaska (where everyone knows the done thing is to cruise the fjords and glaciers by boat, not bus) to Kyrgyzstan. And partly as a result, I've even guided a few specialist day trips for busloads of people of a certain age. So this book really hit the spot – you don't have to know the nickname for the coach company formed by Shearings merging with Wallace Arnold ("Sheer Wallies") to enjoy it. But it might help.

Yes, for more times than I care to count I was the youngest person on a coach trip, whether it be ten hours long or ten days, and the author is the same. I thought The Gran Tour might be him with his randy granny, flirting her way round the fleshpots of that there Scarborough Grand (crikey, it's hot in there!!) and suchlike, but no. The first trip, to Scarborough – albeit a different hotel – is our man solo. He drags his partner with him down to the south-west, and only once does a relative fill the seat next to him. Throughout we might not gain a heck of a lot of local geography (well, benders forcing him to miss the bus to Whitby, and a general lack of that sort of thing in Cornwall won't help matters), but boy does the lad have a great line in quotes and quips from his fellow travellers.

And that is the form the book takes, a meditation ultimately on these people with their retired status, often with their partner of many years long in the grave (or car boot), and what they can teach us about life. It's a rarefied thing to do six coach trips in one season, practically back to back, but our guide is a welcome one. The book starts with the minutiae of the dining arrangements, and the bingo nights, and goes – with the help of an elderly leading hand – into musings about how the youth of today, with everything on instant demand, will never learn anything by mistake, and how our elders are a cherishable resource, whether we're related to them or just bunged together with them for an hour while all the feeder coaches come in. With this, which struck many a familiar chord, and a prior book about a city I love to bits (Poznan), I opened this thinking this was a very close equivalent to me, writing it. The book is quick to prove that I'm an older he, and we're not really contemporary, but it does also prove that that shouldn't be an issue.

A strong four stars.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having thoroughly enjoyed Ben Aitken's previous novel, A Chip Shop in Poznań, I was looking forward to this. It is a great concept, we follow Ben on 6 coach trips to various locations with a number of older people...including his Gran! There is a lot of humour and warmth in this and given I'm a similar age to Ben, there was a lot to relate to.

I loved the humour, the wit and some laugh out loud one liners. The author has quite a dry sense of humour, as do some of the people he meets on the trips. The coach trip routine itself adds to the story, as done the camaraderie between those on the trips. It is amazing how friendships can form so quickly and how open people are to share their stories. Loss is a common theme in this book, as is resilience, strength and the fact that you don't know what unexpected stories people have to share until you ask!

I highlighted quite a few passages which I enjoyed in this book but my favourite is this one...

"...my generation copped a load of old whether we wanted it or not, today's youth will be shielded from their elders, and the resultant dislocation will be to the detriment of intergenerational relations"

The point being that when I was growing up, my parents made me watch cheesy tv shows that they loved on a Saturday night. We would watch old reruns of their favourite films and as a child, you didn't have much say. You absorbed that culture and era. Now, the younger generation have multiple devices on which to do their own thing, make their own choices. That cultural knowledge from the previous generation will just fade away and I find that quite sad.

Overall, an easy and entertaining read. I look forward to more from Ben Aitken!

Thank you to @netgalley and @iconbooks for the opportunity to review.

Released on 3rd September 2020

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[Lisa Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

A nice break from fiction to read about the world of coach holidays with elders.

I did buy this book under the mistaken notion that Ben went on all the holidays with his Nan, but that is not the case. Nan does appear for one trip though.

A wonderful observation of life, love, and of the companionship in strangers sharing an experience.
It's made me want to go on a Shearings holiday so maybe this should be the new marketing literature for Shearings when coach holidays are allowed again!

A lovely read, with some truthfully laugh-out-loud moments (the beef dripping got me!). Definitely recommend.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humorous, at times poignant, restrained and subtle; sometimes self aware. This is a travel book about people rather than places.

[Tracie · Rating 4 out of 5]

British author Ben Aitken is in his early thirties but takes six trips meant for people of pensionable age to gain some wisdom from the elders journeying with him. Plus, the tours are a good price. The armchair traveler and reader go with Ben to Yorkshire, England; Cornwall, Wales; Llandudno Wales; Killarney, Ireland; Lake Como, Italy; and Pitlochry, Scotland. Aitken is humorous and talks about his fellow travelers with admiration and affection, as well as the food he eats and the sights they all see. The trip with his nan, Janet might have you calling your own Granny to make a trip now that travelling is possible again. Fair winds if you do.

[Marren · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an entertaining, light read. Through reading this, I realized British English has very different ways of putting things than American English! Also, I'm concerned about the author's drinking and smoking habits.

[Ian Hughes · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars.
I loved the premise of this book and was looking forward to it, but it was a disappointment overall.
Took me a while to finish. I left it to one side and just picked it up now and again as it didn't capture my interest sufficiently to read in one go.
The author barely talks about the places he visits, which is a little bizarre. Just drones on about the same things with different characters. Felt kind of claustrophobic.
It wasn't a bad book, but it wasn't great either...

[Lucy Donegan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend, so funny and so enjoyable to read.

[Peter Notier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ben Aitken is, in his thirties, a delightful young man. Which is to say that I, in my seventies, have no business thinking of myself as "a delightful young man." At least not the delightful young man that my parents' friends took me to be, probably because, in the conservative Christian town where I grew up, I went to church and kept my opinions to myself. Ben Aitkin's book, and the person who comes through as the narrator, are both delightful, especially for writing about people my age who have no compunction about keeping their opinions to themselves as they make their Gran Tours.

No spoiler alert, but he concludes the book by writing, "I...am struck by how much light there is at the end of the day," a grand summation of these grand tours, a series of bus journeys around the British Isles and Lake Como with Shearings, accompanying his elders from their 60s to their 90s as tour mates. He sets the tone at the start by observing his fellow passengers as "chirpy...larks or nightingales, saying hello and good morning to the coach and all its fittings." He is among people who, too often ignored or passed over as being too old and insufficiently rich or famous to be interesting, have fascinating stories to tell about their life's experiences and the wit to comment perceptibly on the present. From the seemingly trivial Keith, who races pigeons, and sighs, "There's no better feeling than seeing your pigeon on the horizon," to his 81-year-old grandmother's acute comment on a photograph, "You see, we're hard to spot, aren't we," these bits of conversation "better reflect a people, a question, a species, a carriage, an afternoon, than any canon of literature."

Reading Aitken, I became my younger self again, wishing I had spent more time needling my elders about their pasts. At my mother's funeral, one of her friends asked me, "Did your mother ever tell you about our days at the Club Model (their nickname for a local soda fountain in the 1930s)?" When I told her that she had not, her friend responded, "Then I'm certainly not going to tell you. It's not my place." If only I had asked, I'd have stories better than any canon of literature. Part of Aitken's concern is that too many of the younger generation will miss too many of their elders' stories and too much of their learning. "Our cultural lists determine our understanding of the world; they influence and delineate our fields of interest and affection. If we only watch one thing, we won't recognize others," recalling his Nan's remark about being "hard to spot." Being woke is not just about current issues but also about having a cultural list that is far broader and deeper than what is current.

He retells a story related by one of his mates, Frank, about a trip to Moscow in the 1990s. "When I ask him for a highlight, he tells me about the time one of the guests didn't come down for her breakfast. 'Was she not keen on it?' 'No, she was dead!'" At the end of a trip to Lake Como, as people are packing up and leaving, he reflects that "No details have been swapped, no numbers taken, no promises made to stay in tough. This travelling coincidence was enough, it can end with a few honest farewells." And before the honest farewells, stories of lives worth knowing, worth taking the time to spot.

Towards the end of "Gran Tour," Aitken, on reading "Somewhere Towards the End" by Diana Athill, comments that "She's saying that the thing about death is its abruptness," like the death of the woman who did not come to breakfast. "'The difference between being and non-being is both so abrupt and so vast that it remains shocking even though it happens to every living thing that is, was, or ever will be.' That's it, isn't it? It's that complete and utter abruptness, that unthinkable difference between on and off." The World War II song that his group sings, "We'll meet again/ Don't know where, don't know when/ But I know we'll meet again/ one sunny day," takes on new layers of meaning and makes it so much more important to be regaled by the stories of our elders and to be struck by how much light there is at the end of the day.

[Phyllis · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can only give this two stars and say it was just "OK." I read 92 pages and then couldn't go on, so this was a DNF (did not finish) for me. This travel memoir sounded like a great concept to write about: a millennial joins senior citizens on organized travel trips to various British towns and tourist spots. The reviews were positive and the ratings were high. BUT I found it to be boring, flat, and dull. Possibly because I had just finished a fabulous murder mystery that also highlighted senior citizens (The Postscript Murders by Elly Griffiths, as well as earlier enjoying a similar five star book featuring elderly characters called The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman), I was waiting for something to happen in The Gran Tour. Author Ben Aitken narrates his travels with British pensioners hoping that their quirkiness will come across as comical and entertaining. Imagine if you were stuck on a bus or hotel tour with a group of shallow people who only wanted to eat, drink, and play bingo. Their eccentricity is not endearing, nor is Aitken's. I can only recommend this book if you are looking for something to read to put you to sleep. It worked every time!

[Fiona Erskine · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are three things I love about Ben Aitken's writing.

The first is the dry humour. Smiles and chortles rather than laugh out loud splutter (although there are moments...).

The second is the generosity of spirit. The "six foot oyster" observes and records pen portraits: "into tofu and crashed 2 cars", Jill's Haiku, Gary T'boot, "I used to be a marine but now I call bingo." Listens. Joins in. Adapts. "You'd need canny vision to notice (Scotland)".

The third is the deceptive simplicity. It takes real skill to make this kind of gentle observational prose work.

"I...am struck by how much light there is so late in the day."

It worked for me

[T · Rating 2 out of 5]

This 30-something took bus holidays with retired types, once including his girlfriend, and on another, his gran. Occasionally he overheard something interesting, but mostly it was ordinary, everyday chatter. He remarked that he sought these ordinary experiences while in tourist locations. For me though, this was dull.

Birmingham library

[Sherill Leonardi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A charming "May-December" kind of read. British millennial, Ben Aitken, decides to stretch his travel money by taking bus tours with the geriatric generation. What might have begun as a one-off evolves into six separate trips filled with challenge, joy and the realization that we are all, in fact, deeply connected.

[Tamara York · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars rounded down. Picked up at Heathrow airport because it’s about old people and travel, two of my favorite things to read about. I started it on the plane and enjoyed it immensely. If you like old people and travel, you will probably like this too!

[Andy Taylor · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had hoped for more words of wisdom and life lessons from the elders but unfortunately it became quite predictable and something to endure rather than enjoy.

[Clare Auchterlonie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book - Ben’s kind of a Millennial Bill Bryson (compliment!) and his insights into life made me laugh out loud several times.

[Christian Jenkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another side splitting book from Ben Aitken, this time taking Shearing's holidays with the older generation and listening to their stories and advice. It absolutely had me bent double laughing at some points.
The book has some reflective moments about aging, loss, illness as you can expect, but given through a lens of optimism and hope.
His style of writing is very Adrian Mole-esque and a very dry British humour, hysterical!

(When speaking to his Gran about his great great grandmother) "She was a real softie. I remember one time she swallowed her own teeth. [Footnote] That was only half the story, it turned out. My nan's nan, Nellie Eliza, fell down the stairs, broke her neck, and died. Her teeth were never discovered, so it was assumed she'd swallowed them. She was put out to rest in the kitchen, with her mouth strapped shut with a tea towel. Them someone came round to plug all my great-great-grandmother's openings. Of all the elements of this tragic occasion, my nan chose only to mention that a pair of teeth were swallowed." p.103

"I ask Chris and Carole if they want a tea. The queue's not as long as it could be, but nonetheless, they might not fancy standing in it. They do want a tea, and try to push a fiver on me, but I won't have it. I deliver the teas and then sit a few rows behind them, close enough to hear Chris say, a few minutes later, 'I'm glad I didn't pay for this tea, Carole, It's rubbish.'" p.200

"In recent years, the [Bog Village] museum has diversified it's appeal by serving Baileys coffee and toasted sandwiches in a neighbouring building. I order a 'cheese onion ham' only to be told they've only got 'ham cheese onion', like it says on the board. I say very well, I'll have one of those then, but don't ever accuse me of being inflexible." p.169

[Cormac Healy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for my book club, and it is definitely not the sort of book I would normally pick up, but it was enjoyable and wholesome.

It is essentially a book of vignettes, as the author goes on coach tours all over the shop, and writes down the funny encounters he has on the way. That's it really, nothing much to it. I think I would have gotten as much from it if I had stopped after the second of the six journeys, but there were amusing characters throughout to keep it worthwhile.

The overall message is that older people usually have life a bit more figured out, and in my experience I find that very hard to argue with. There are some life lessons, but it's mainly about doing what you enjoy, and being nice to people. Shouldn't be that hard really, but here we are.

There was one line that really stuck with me, so I'll finish the review with it. It was about attending a funeral, where people were talking about the person who had died: "About a dozen people went up, and despite Jane Dobson having plenty of strings to her bow, all they wanted to remember was her kindness."

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of the strangest books I’ve ever read, and parts of it were hilarious. I even laughed out loud several times. Not at all what I was expecting. Warning there is some swearing.

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

Light and entertaining.

[Juan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Con el corazon calentito y con ganas de hablar con mi abuela. Asi me ha dejado este libro

[Caroline Levie · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

[Erin Noll · Rating 4 out of 5]

Strange little book.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

12. Is this generation gap different to the gaps that came before it? It's possible. For a start, this gap has digital immigrants on the one side and digital natives on the other. Then, there's the simple fact that new technology has altered how people relate, how they converse, how they mix. Search engines have threatened the role of elders as repositories of information, anecdotes, advice. Practical acumen is no longer handed down manually or verbally as it once was. Instead, people Google. Technology has also changed the way we entertain ourselves. We are now masters of our own entertainment in a way that was unthinkable only ten years ago. When I was a kid and went to visit elder relatives or family friends, I had to hang out with the adults. Although unbearable at the time, I can now see the dividend that such encounters paid. Now, kids and teens and young adults can whip out their phones and be on another planet. You can't tell me that hasn't had an effect on intergenerational relations. You can't tell me that hasn't widened the gap. (48)

To risk stating the obvious, to know a thing requires familiarity with the whole of that thing. A sliver can give the wrong impression. If you only saw me for the first hour after waking, you'd conclude I was good for nothing but medical trials. So it is with places. We need to give them more room, more space, so they might make a fuller impression. A place is the sum of its parts, not some of its parts. (69)

I've stumbled upon this [EastEnders episode], but not many people my age and below will have done. They've too much control over what they're doing. When I was younger, you had less control of your intake, less autonomy. I might have been desperate for Gladiators or Blind Date, but TV didn't care, I had to put up with One Foot in the Grave first, and then Keeping Up Appearances, and then Two Fat Ladies. As a result, I know who Dot Cotton is, who Captain Mainwaring is, who Victor Meldrew is. I didn't pursue the knowledge, it simple landed on me, like cultural shrapnel. It seems to me that the latest crop of youngsters won't experience anything by accident - not on a screen anyway. Because they're able to curate their cultural diet, it's likely they'll only ingest stuff they relate to, and avoid anything they don't. Whereas my generation copped a load of old whether we wanted to or not, today's youth will be shielded from their elders, and the resultant dislocation will be to the detriment of intergenerational relations. Our cultural diets determine our understanding of the world; they influence and delineate our fields of interest and affection. If we only watch one thing, we won't recognise others. I won't labour the point: everyone could do with a bit of accidental Dot. (121-2)