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Transgender 101: a Guide to Coping with Gender Dysphoria
If you are trans, non-binary, questioning or unsure, 'Transgender 101' is the ultimate guide to help you come to terms with your gender identity and how to cope with dysphoria. Coming to terms with being transgender can be freeing but there are many challenges to cope with both on a personal level and a social level. Living as your true self is rewarding but sometimes we all need direction. This guide deals with the complete scope of what means to be transgender. This book includes sections and much more... This book aims to help you with your transition so that you can live an authentic life with minimal hassle. A smooth transition starts by understanding what your aims are and how to reach them. 'Transgender 101' guides you through that difficult process and aids in answering some of the more difficult trans-related questions.
77 pages, Paperback
Published November 19, 2019
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February 7, 2021
This book attempts to guide you into coping with gender dysphoria. It covers the question of “am I trans?” at the beginning. From there it covers gender identity and pronoun usage. It then covers some of the issues: coping with transphobia, misconceptions and some basic truths, passing, cross hormone treatment (commonly hrt), and social transitioning. It ends with a conclusion. It gives no references or further readings.
The following are mostly negative comments on specific pieces of text. Kindle pages are given in brackets [].
[4] “The primary element in determining this [whether or not you are trans], is gender dysphoria which can be accurately defined as feeling a deep and intense sense of discomfort about the sex you were assigned at birth.” Okay, first not all trans*† have dysphoria, so‡ this is an inadequate guideline. The deal is if you want medically administrated gender affirming treatment (especially surgeries) you need to be diagnosed as having gender dysphoria. A disgusting part of gatekeeping.
[8] “Only you can know if you are trans and moreover, only you can decide if transition is right and if so, what kind of transition you would undertake (social, medical or both).” The author, Adrienne J, leaves out legal transition—changing of name and/or gender on documents or with institutions (e.g. Social Security, driver licenses or state IDs). As this is a major undertaking for most I consider it separate from social transitioning, which I see as living your life as the gender you identify with.
[10] She uses“. . . LGBTQIA+ . . . [and] ‘gender identity spectrum’.” I find using any acronym to be ineffective as it can leave others out, and different people use different acronyms. The use of “spectrum” privileges and propagates the gender binary.
[10] “Non-binary people vary amongst themselves too though and not every enby (a short-hand for non-binary) is the same.” Again, I feel the use of non-binary still privileges the binary, and I am not sure that “enby” solves this.
[12] “Of course, this chart is not all encompassing and there are many more ways gender can be expressed if at all.” Her chart also privileges the binary. Perhaps we need to start in the middle of say an umbrella and move out from there. Except an umbrella standard could exclude people who are agender, since some by definition do not have a gender, therefore what are they doing under a gender umbrella, perhaps there could be a halo around the umbrella to exhibit that they do not feel as if they fit underneath it.
[12] “With gender identity comes gender expression which is yet, something different. Gender expression is how you present in public through clothing, hairstyle etc.” It is much more than that. It can include how you speak (e.g. word choice, phrasings) and your mannerisms (e.g. how you stand and sit).
[34] She uses the word “transgendered.” I don’t want to seem like the word police, but transgender is not a verb; it is an adjective. Even worse it suggests that it was something that happen to you, or done to you by someone else, as oppose to just who you are.
[35] “Mannerisms, cleanliness and kindness are more important than how you look.” Don’t count on it. Our society, mainly because of its patriarchal roots, places a lot on how a woman should look, and to a lesser degree a man. And, you can be a woman and a bitch, and man can be consider rude as an acceptable social trait.
[38] “NONE OF US. Believe me, most trans people (at least that I know) never wanted to be trans, and if they could choose not to be, (and just to be born in their preferred gender / be comfortable in their birth sex), they would.” She doesn’t know me. Keeping with the fact that gender identity is not a choice, I never consider it as a want; it was a just an I am. But, I draw the line at wanting to be born as a female. That was the history of my life, and I am not ashamed of it. Plus, I am proud to be a transgender woman.
[40] She uses the term “transgenderism.” Not considered kosher in most trans* communities. It is seen most often by researchers in academic studies. “-ism” in general in these circumstances are use in the sense of the “study of.” However, can you study an adjective; it would make more sense if “transgender” was a noun.
[49] “Should I worry about passing? Worry? Absolutely not! Should you care? That’s up to you but in my opinion, no.” Okay, theoretically, I would agree. But, we do not live in a theoretical world. The fact is that it can be very dangerous (physical assaults, sexual assaults, and murder) for a person to be seen as a transgender person by not passing. So, in reality there is a concern.
[51] One of Adrienne’s tips is: “Learn to enlarge eyes with mascara and eyeliner above the lids.” I would say only use eyeliner if you can apply it almost flawlessly, as there is nothing worse in my opinion than a bad eyeliner job. I skip it completely, and I have received numerous compliments on my eyes.
[60] “Estrogen suppresses testosterone and while it is the primary usage of HRT in MTFs, anti-androgens are sometimes also prescribed (particularly in teens and young adults).” From what I have read (and experienced myself) many times anti-androgens are prescribe unless the person is medically unsuitable for them or have had a surgery to remove their testicles.
[62] “For trans women, breast growth is irreversible as well as some feminization of the face. All other effects and changes are mostly irreversible.” Depending on the amount of time in feminizing hormone treatment fertility is lost and does not come back. It is suggested that if you want to have a biological child you freeze your sperm. That is if you can afford it.
[71] “No goal is unreachable, even if things look drab and dark right now, as cliche as it might sound, it won’t last forever and there will be a day that you will wake up and look back on your journey with nothing but pride and a sense that you really accomplished becoming who you were meant to be.” I agree about being proud of what you have accomplished, but “who you were meant to be” sounds like someone else planned your life. You are only meant to be because you provide that meaning to your life, which is different than your gender identity, which in all likelihood provides meaning to your life.
As you might guess I did not think much of the book. Without any references how can I trust either the medical areas or even to a lesser degree studies on transgender persons. Her language was sometimes slightly offensive. I also felt her view, while recognizing the gender non-conforming individuals, was slanted toward the binary with no discussion of how problematic this can be.
Since it is currently a Kindle Unlimited book, and so purchasing it is not a necessity, I won’t say don’t bother reading it. But there are numerous books, still available as Kindle Unlimited books, that do a way better job (see some of my previous reviews). If you are looking for something more comprehensive skip it all together.
† I use this as an inclusive term to cover anyone who does not completely identify with the sex they happened to have been assigned at birth.
‡ I most often use dysphoria alone as some are clearly related to gender issues and some are connect to body issues that even cisgender people might have (e.g. ciswoman getting breast augmentation). I have a blog post (https://stephiegurl.home.blog/2020/09...) that spells out my most recent attempt to think about dysphoria.
The following are mostly negative comments on specific pieces of text. Kindle pages are given in brackets [].
[4] “The primary element in determining this [whether or not you are trans], is gender dysphoria which can be accurately defined as feeling a deep and intense sense of discomfort about the sex you were assigned at birth.” Okay, first not all trans*† have dysphoria, so‡ this is an inadequate guideline. The deal is if you want medically administrated gender affirming treatment (especially surgeries) you need to be diagnosed as having gender dysphoria. A disgusting part of gatekeeping.
[8] “Only you can know if you are trans and moreover, only you can decide if transition is right and if so, what kind of transition you would undertake (social, medical or both).” The author, Adrienne J, leaves out legal transition—changing of name and/or gender on documents or with institutions (e.g. Social Security, driver licenses or state IDs). As this is a major undertaking for most I consider it separate from social transitioning, which I see as living your life as the gender you identify with.
[10] She uses“. . . LGBTQIA+ . . . [and] ‘gender identity spectrum’.” I find using any acronym to be ineffective as it can leave others out, and different people use different acronyms. The use of “spectrum” privileges and propagates the gender binary.
[10] “Non-binary people vary amongst themselves too though and not every enby (a short-hand for non-binary) is the same.” Again, I feel the use of non-binary still privileges the binary, and I am not sure that “enby” solves this.
[12] “Of course, this chart is not all encompassing and there are many more ways gender can be expressed if at all.” Her chart also privileges the binary. Perhaps we need to start in the middle of say an umbrella and move out from there. Except an umbrella standard could exclude people who are agender, since some by definition do not have a gender, therefore what are they doing under a gender umbrella, perhaps there could be a halo around the umbrella to exhibit that they do not feel as if they fit underneath it.
[12] “With gender identity comes gender expression which is yet, something different. Gender expression is how you present in public through clothing, hairstyle etc.” It is much more than that. It can include how you speak (e.g. word choice, phrasings) and your mannerisms (e.g. how you stand and sit).
[34] She uses the word “transgendered.” I don’t want to seem like the word police, but transgender is not a verb; it is an adjective. Even worse it suggests that it was something that happen to you, or done to you by someone else, as oppose to just who you are.
[35] “Mannerisms, cleanliness and kindness are more important than how you look.” Don’t count on it. Our society, mainly because of its patriarchal roots, places a lot on how a woman should look, and to a lesser degree a man. And, you can be a woman and a bitch, and man can be consider rude as an acceptable social trait.
[38] “NONE OF US. Believe me, most trans people (at least that I know) never wanted to be trans, and if they could choose not to be, (and just to be born in their preferred gender / be comfortable in their birth sex), they would.” She doesn’t know me. Keeping with the fact that gender identity is not a choice, I never consider it as a want; it was a just an I am. But, I draw the line at wanting to be born as a female. That was the history of my life, and I am not ashamed of it. Plus, I am proud to be a transgender woman.
[40] She uses the term “transgenderism.” Not considered kosher in most trans* communities. It is seen most often by researchers in academic studies. “-ism” in general in these circumstances are use in the sense of the “study of.” However, can you study an adjective; it would make more sense if “transgender” was a noun.
[49] “Should I worry about passing? Worry? Absolutely not! Should you care? That’s up to you but in my opinion, no.” Okay, theoretically, I would agree. But, we do not live in a theoretical world. The fact is that it can be very dangerous (physical assaults, sexual assaults, and murder) for a person to be seen as a transgender person by not passing. So, in reality there is a concern.
[51] One of Adrienne’s tips is: “Learn to enlarge eyes with mascara and eyeliner above the lids.” I would say only use eyeliner if you can apply it almost flawlessly, as there is nothing worse in my opinion than a bad eyeliner job. I skip it completely, and I have received numerous compliments on my eyes.
[60] “Estrogen suppresses testosterone and while it is the primary usage of HRT in MTFs, anti-androgens are sometimes also prescribed (particularly in teens and young adults).” From what I have read (and experienced myself) many times anti-androgens are prescribe unless the person is medically unsuitable for them or have had a surgery to remove their testicles.
[62] “For trans women, breast growth is irreversible as well as some feminization of the face. All other effects and changes are mostly irreversible.” Depending on the amount of time in feminizing hormone treatment fertility is lost and does not come back. It is suggested that if you want to have a biological child you freeze your sperm. That is if you can afford it.
[71] “No goal is unreachable, even if things look drab and dark right now, as cliche as it might sound, it won’t last forever and there will be a day that you will wake up and look back on your journey with nothing but pride and a sense that you really accomplished becoming who you were meant to be.” I agree about being proud of what you have accomplished, but “who you were meant to be” sounds like someone else planned your life. You are only meant to be because you provide that meaning to your life, which is different than your gender identity, which in all likelihood provides meaning to your life.
As you might guess I did not think much of the book. Without any references how can I trust either the medical areas or even to a lesser degree studies on transgender persons. Her language was sometimes slightly offensive. I also felt her view, while recognizing the gender non-conforming individuals, was slanted toward the binary with no discussion of how problematic this can be.
Since it is currently a Kindle Unlimited book, and so purchasing it is not a necessity, I won’t say don’t bother reading it. But there are numerous books, still available as Kindle Unlimited books, that do a way better job (see some of my previous reviews). If you are looking for something more comprehensive skip it all together.
† I use this as an inclusive term to cover anyone who does not completely identify with the sex they happened to have been assigned at birth.
‡ I most often use dysphoria alone as some are clearly related to gender issues and some are connect to body issues that even cisgender people might have (e.g. ciswoman getting breast augmentation). I have a blog post (https://stephiegurl.home.blog/2020/09...) that spells out my most recent attempt to think about dysphoria.
January 31, 2022
If you are just getting started out with transition this book is a simple and concise guide to you. I am much further in my transition so the hints and tricks seem more geared to those who are starting out or seem to be in the inbetween phase of things. There is good advice for any trans person. Like always be you even with when trans phobia is getting to you. And to help yourself out do positive things for yourself in spite of the negitive you have for yourself like getting in a queers family social group or doing things as simple as watch positive stuff
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews