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216 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 27, 2019
She was the first woman I had fucked since my wife Kirsty was killed eight years ago. Yeah, I got blowjobs from girls at the club or random women, but I have never sunk my dick into anyone, until Sabrina.
“Michael.” I blink and see Sabrina in front of me, not Kirsty. Her face is scrunched up in concern for me. I shake the feelings of Kirsty away and step back.
My heart is beating wildly in my chest; thoughts of my dead wife keep seeping into my head. They are never too far away.
No other woman has ever made me want them like this, except Kirsty. Shaking my head to clear the thoughts of my dead wife, I see a frown on Sabrina’s face.
A memory of one time I fucked Kirsty in the back of our car one summer flashes through my mind; I couldn’t breathe we fucked that hard. The windows were fogged up, we were both panting for dear life, but fuck me it was good.
A hand on my chest startles me back to the present; I frown and look up at Sabrina who is now up on her elbow looking down at me. Her eyes bounce back and forth between mine, trying to decipher what I am thinking, but she will never know.
I will never take another woman as mine.
Why can’t I find a man who wants me and only me, is that too much to ask?
Old Ladies and my gut tightens, thinking I could want that, but then I see both Kirsty and Sabrina in my head and it sends my thoughts spiralling into a black hole.
When I met Kirsty, I knew that she would be the only woman I would love; we would grow old together and watch our grandkids run around the garden. A few years after we married, she fell pregnant with our daughter, Willow.
“Hey, Court,” she slurs. Great, she is fucking drunk as fuck. Just what I need. “Sup,” I mutter. Before I can push her off my lap, she leans in and kisses my neck, making my dick twitch in my jeans. Fucking hell.
The bitch on my lap will stop her from approaching me, so that’s a fucking plus right now.
The sight of him across the room with a woman on his lap, is a huge kick in the teeth, but since no-one knows that we have been seeing each other, I need to keep my outer self calm and unaffected but inside I am ugly crying beyond belief.
“And I told you we were only fucking, so why would I delve into my past to keep you happy?” His words are like a sucker punch to my stomach, even though I know he told me enough times that sex was all he could give me. But when I remember the nights we would lie in bed after having sex and talk. Or watch a film, cwtched up on the couch.
“Being a wet, warm hole does not get you inside information on me and my past. You served your purpose when I wasn’t getting it at the club. You can ask them, they know fuck all about my life and never will, because they are just like you. A willing pussy for me to play with when I need to get off.”
There was a time where I didn’t want to breathe anymore; I wanted to join Kirsty and Willow.
Maybe one day he would have opened up to me, but his words play on a loop in my head. “Being a wet, warm hole does not get you inside information on me and my past. You served your purpose when I wasn’t getting it at the club, you can ask them, they know fuck all about my life and never will, because they are just like you. A willing pussy for me to play with when I need to get off.”
Ethan holds me tight to him, making me feel safe and loved even though we aren’t a couple. This is what friends are about; being there no matter what the reason.
My head is all over the place; it wants to be with her but at the same time, I can’t bear to move on after Kirsty. I don’t know if I am capable of loving another woman.
Sabrina is the first woman since Kirsty to partially break through my walls. She needs to stop trying to break through.
Pulling up my zipper, keeping my gaze away from her, I end this. “I’m done,” is all I say before I pull the door open and walk out, slamming the door behind me.
She is just another woman.
“Michael, please. It is important.”
“Stop. There is fuck all to say. Stay away from me. You said you wouldn’t be a clingy bitch but here you are, being crazy and clingy. Just leave it.”
“Can we talk?” I manage to force out, but it comes out like a broken whisper. “Not really,” he mutters, leaning into the girl more.
“So, talk. You can say whatever shit you want in front of my brothers.”
“Relationship? Woman you were a wet hole to fuck when I was bored, I’ve told you this shit. You meant fuck all to me. I never fuck club girls, but you smelled so fucking good that night, I needed a go at you.” He angrily bellows at me.
“This cunt needs to leave,” Court spits out, before spitting blood onto the floor.
“Fuck that shit, it isn’t mine” Court says, making me sob again, soaking Ace’s shirt.
I just need to make sure that I get tested, to make sure that you and your whores haven’t passed anything on to me.”
“Fuck this shit. You want that baby, fucking fine by me, but me. I am OUT. Fucking gone!” Court screams at Suede.
Seeing his reaction and hearing his awful nasty words tell me that our journey has come to an end. He will never be a part of our baby’s life, so now I have to pull up my big girl knickers and grow this baby to perfection, because I am keeping him or her. Sabrina Forcing a smile as I check into the maternity ward.
Fucking pregnant with my kid. A fucking kid I didn’t want.
My life has now become this meaningless journey. I sleep the day away, then wake up, drink myself into a stupor, get blowjobs when the tension gets too much or I fight.
“You like that, don’t ya baby?” My eyes flash open, at hearing a voice that does not belong to Sabrina. I look down and see Edele sitting between my legs on the bed, my cock hanging out of her mouth. “Fuck,” I mutter, gripping her head, and fucking her mouth fast and hard, wanting my climax to hit strong.
I am now twenty-three weeks pregnant and still no contact from Michael. I have resigned myself to thinking he will never come back.
“FUCK,” I moan, as I shoot my cum down the bitches throat, who is currently sucking me off. I am surprised as fuck I was able to get it up, considering the amount of whiskey I have in my system.
“Issues? Fucking issues. He knocked my mother up, and then fucked off. He basically said that my mother was good enough to get his dick wet but not enough to have a relationship or a baby with. Fuck you, Mat and fuck Court. He is a worthless piece of shit.” I have never seen Levi so angry before.
“What you going to do, Court? Run away again? You left her, pregnant no less and to do what? Fuck the Irish club bitches, get your cock sucked by the locals?” “I was single, brother. Free to do what the fuck I wanted, but I—.”
“The shit I said to you that last day at the clubhouse was bang out of order and I will forever regret that, but I never made any promises to you about us being a couple or me claiming you as my Old Lady.”
“I didn’t fuck anyone, ‘Brina, but I did get blowjobs from a few of the girls there. I know that is no excuse, but as far as I was thinking, I was single and had no one to answer to.”
“Do you blame her, brother? She told you she was pregnant with your kid and you all but called her a whore with a warm hole, you fucked just get your jollies off, then you fucked off and left her for months.”
Fuck me, my boy is going to be big. I just pray to fuck that Sabrina’s pussy goes back to fucking normal after she pushes the kid out.
Today is the day that I introduce my new son to my dead wife and daughter. My son is now twelve days old; both he and Sabrina are doing great.
“Every day, since he was born, I talk about you both. Tell him about this amazing woman who supported and loved me through my days of becoming a solicitor and also how he has a big sister, watching over him. We show him photos; not that he can make out any details yet, but we will always tell him about you both.”
She knows that I will always love Kirsty and Willow and she never tries to make me choose.