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The Every Man
Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle: Honest Conversations About Sexual Integrity
Finally, a resource that guides you through the toughest--and most important--conversations you'll ever have with your son.
Ideal for all parents of fathers, mothers, single moms.
It’s never been easy for a father or mother to talk to a son about sex. For Christian parents, it’s always been a challenge to know exactly how to teach God’s standards of purity and integrity.
But today, the stakes are higher than they’ve ever been. So it’s vital that fathers and mothers prepare their sons to withstand the sexual onslaught of their culture through movies, television, music, and the internet.
But what should you say? And when and how should you say it?
Now there’s help you can Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle. The authors behind the best-selling “Every Man” series have put together all the resources and guidance you need to experience frank, thorough, and natural conversations with your son about sexual integrity. They offer an effective new communication process that ensures a deep, abiding relationship between you and your son as he moves into his teen years and beyond.
Equip your young man with the biblical information and spiritual insights he needs to stand strong, overcome temptation, and experience the blessings of godly obedience…for the rest of his life.
Ideal for all parents of fathers, mothers, single moms.
It’s never been easy for a father or mother to talk to a son about sex. For Christian parents, it’s always been a challenge to know exactly how to teach God’s standards of purity and integrity.
But today, the stakes are higher than they’ve ever been. So it’s vital that fathers and mothers prepare their sons to withstand the sexual onslaught of their culture through movies, television, music, and the internet.
But what should you say? And when and how should you say it?
Now there’s help you can Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle. The authors behind the best-selling “Every Man” series have put together all the resources and guidance you need to experience frank, thorough, and natural conversations with your son about sexual integrity. They offer an effective new communication process that ensures a deep, abiding relationship between you and your son as he moves into his teen years and beyond.
Equip your young man with the biblical information and spiritual insights he needs to stand strong, overcome temptation, and experience the blessings of godly obedience…for the rest of his life.
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
63 people are currently reading
380 people want to read
About the author
Stephen F. Arterburn
257 books154 followersStephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries—the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry—and is the host of the nationally syndicated New Life Live! daily radio program aired on over 180 radio stations nationwide, Sirius XM radio, and on television. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 4 million women, and of HisMatchforMe.com.
Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, the New York Times, USA Today, and US News & World Report.
In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A bestselling author, Steve has written more than one hundred books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, Healing Is a Choice. He is a Gold Medallion–winning author and has been nominated for numerous other writing awards.
Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve is a teaching pastor at Northview Church in suburban Indianapolis and resides with his family in Indiana.
Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, the New York Times, USA Today, and US News & World Report.
In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A bestselling author, Steve has written more than one hundred books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, Healing Is a Choice. He is a Gold Medallion–winning author and has been nominated for numerous other writing awards.
Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve is a teaching pastor at Northview Church in suburban Indianapolis and resides with his family in Indiana.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
September 14, 2019
Book Review:
You may be wondering why a woman would write the review of this book, when the book was written for Father’s and sons. The answer is simple… I was looking for guidance now that our son has entered his middle school years.
I’ve been down this road before with our older daughter, and that journey has been a blessing from God, and came quite naturally to me as a woman. But the journey of helping a son learn to be a man after God’s own heart leaves me clueless. Thankfully the responsibility of this journey rests on my husband’s shoulders, but I desire to understand the journey they are just beginning. I want to know the struggles my son will face, and be his prayer warrior as he begins his journey to manhood.
The authors use the illustration of a relay race to convey an important principle. “The effective father must pass along a baton that teaches his son how to delay gratification, take responsibility, and connect deeply with others, including God. When this happens, his son will become a man of character, someone who knows who he is, and someone who is ready to make a difference in fulfilling God’s mission for his life.” The authors also stress the importance of not waiting too long to “pass the baton”, as the relay for most boys begins around age 11 or 12.
Open communication between a father and son is vital to “passing the baton.” This book gives practical suggestions and guidelines that are easy to follow in order to create this open communication. One of the authors readily admits that his own fear of being vulnerable before his son was keeping him from beginning this journey. Ultimately he came to realize that his own pride was keeping him from putting his fears aside, picking up the baton and preparing his son for the race.
Topics covered in this book include puberty, peer pressure, sexual temptation, pornography, integrity, independence, treating girls with respect, dating, etc. Now you may be thinking, wait, my son’s not ready to hear about sexual temptation or pornography, but I challenge you to reconsider your thinking. If your son attends public or Christian school, watches TV or movies, listens to music, or even attends his church youth group, then he’s more than ready to hear about these topics. In fact, he needs to hear truth on these topics before his innocence is warped by what the world considers normal.
The authors share that the world tells us what is common is normal. Movies with sexual content or innuendos may be popular and common, but from God’s perspective these aren’t normal. Crude joking and treating females as objects is common in our society, but God doesn’t consider these normal either. In fact, he’s quite specific about these issues. “Thinking normally means thinking like God thinks. Those who don’t read the Bible are more likely to get confused about what’s normal, and they may start doing things that, after a while, start to seem okay. It’s like going to see an R-rated movie every week. After a while, you’re going to say, what’s the big deal? That’s because you’ve desensitized yourself to all the sex and violence splashed on the screen – so much so that it now seems normal to you.”
“The Bible says that normal Christian teens will ‘flee the evil desire of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart’ (II Timothy 2:22). According to God, it’s normal for a Christian guy to ‘keep his way pure’ (Psalm 119:9) and to set ‘no vile thing’ before his eyes (Psalm 101:3). It’s normal for a Christian teen to avoid lusting after girls (see Job 31:1). It’s normal to have no ‘hint of sexual immorality’ in his life (Ephesians 5:3). Normal teen conversations should not contain a trace of coarse language or filthy jokes (see Ephesians 5:4).”
So how about it Dads? Do you have a son entering this relay to manhood? God wants to use you to pass the baton to your son. Consider reading this book and beginning that journey together.
OTHER TITLES TO CONSIDER FOR MEN OR WOMEN:
Every Young Man’s Battle (Excellent for boys ending middle school through college)
Every Young Woman’s Battle (Excellent for girls in middle and high school )
Note: I would strongly encourage all male leaders and helpers with the middle or high school youth groups to read Every Young Man’s Battle. I encourage all female leaders and helpers with the middle or high school youth groups to read Every Young Woman’s Battle. The insight will be invaluable to you as you lead our teens to be more like Christ.
You may be wondering why a woman would write the review of this book, when the book was written for Father’s and sons. The answer is simple… I was looking for guidance now that our son has entered his middle school years.
I’ve been down this road before with our older daughter, and that journey has been a blessing from God, and came quite naturally to me as a woman. But the journey of helping a son learn to be a man after God’s own heart leaves me clueless. Thankfully the responsibility of this journey rests on my husband’s shoulders, but I desire to understand the journey they are just beginning. I want to know the struggles my son will face, and be his prayer warrior as he begins his journey to manhood.
The authors use the illustration of a relay race to convey an important principle. “The effective father must pass along a baton that teaches his son how to delay gratification, take responsibility, and connect deeply with others, including God. When this happens, his son will become a man of character, someone who knows who he is, and someone who is ready to make a difference in fulfilling God’s mission for his life.” The authors also stress the importance of not waiting too long to “pass the baton”, as the relay for most boys begins around age 11 or 12.
Open communication between a father and son is vital to “passing the baton.” This book gives practical suggestions and guidelines that are easy to follow in order to create this open communication. One of the authors readily admits that his own fear of being vulnerable before his son was keeping him from beginning this journey. Ultimately he came to realize that his own pride was keeping him from putting his fears aside, picking up the baton and preparing his son for the race.
Topics covered in this book include puberty, peer pressure, sexual temptation, pornography, integrity, independence, treating girls with respect, dating, etc. Now you may be thinking, wait, my son’s not ready to hear about sexual temptation or pornography, but I challenge you to reconsider your thinking. If your son attends public or Christian school, watches TV or movies, listens to music, or even attends his church youth group, then he’s more than ready to hear about these topics. In fact, he needs to hear truth on these topics before his innocence is warped by what the world considers normal.
The authors share that the world tells us what is common is normal. Movies with sexual content or innuendos may be popular and common, but from God’s perspective these aren’t normal. Crude joking and treating females as objects is common in our society, but God doesn’t consider these normal either. In fact, he’s quite specific about these issues. “Thinking normally means thinking like God thinks. Those who don’t read the Bible are more likely to get confused about what’s normal, and they may start doing things that, after a while, start to seem okay. It’s like going to see an R-rated movie every week. After a while, you’re going to say, what’s the big deal? That’s because you’ve desensitized yourself to all the sex and violence splashed on the screen – so much so that it now seems normal to you.”
“The Bible says that normal Christian teens will ‘flee the evil desire of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart’ (II Timothy 2:22). According to God, it’s normal for a Christian guy to ‘keep his way pure’ (Psalm 119:9) and to set ‘no vile thing’ before his eyes (Psalm 101:3). It’s normal for a Christian teen to avoid lusting after girls (see Job 31:1). It’s normal to have no ‘hint of sexual immorality’ in his life (Ephesians 5:3). Normal teen conversations should not contain a trace of coarse language or filthy jokes (see Ephesians 5:4).”
So how about it Dads? Do you have a son entering this relay to manhood? God wants to use you to pass the baton to your son. Consider reading this book and beginning that journey together.
OTHER TITLES TO CONSIDER FOR MEN OR WOMEN:
Every Young Man’s Battle (Excellent for boys ending middle school through college)
Every Young Woman’s Battle (Excellent for girls in middle and high school )
Note: I would strongly encourage all male leaders and helpers with the middle or high school youth groups to read Every Young Man’s Battle. I encourage all female leaders and helpers with the middle or high school youth groups to read Every Young Woman’s Battle. The insight will be invaluable to you as you lead our teens to be more like Christ.
August 9, 2022
Preparing Your Son is what I would call a right-of-passage book. It is broken into three sections. The first section is the how of working through sections 2 and 3. Part one walks you through how to talk through difficult situations with your son, especially surrounding the topic of sex and sexual temptation. Part two is the "what." It is broken into small chapters that are easily digestible and intended to be read with your 11-13-year-old. It walks through the basics of sex and sexual temptation and how your son can deal with the temptations that will inevitably come. To some extent, I'm scared to start talking about these subjects with an eleven-year-old, but as the book says, if you wait to see signs of temptation, you've waited far too long. Finally, part three is intended to be read with your 13-15-year-old. It covers many of the same topics as part two except on a slightly more age-appropriate level. Each short chapter in parts two and three end with specific discussion questions that you work through with your son and a time of prayer.
I thought the "how-to" section was good, but it could have been shorter. However, parts two and three were great, and I can really see how it would open a really great discussion (difficult and awkward, but great nonetheless) with your son. The intention is for the book to open up opportunities to tell my stories of issues in the past because males connect over stories. My boy is not even 8 yet, but I plan to start reading this with him as soon as he turns eleven. I've also used the principles in part one to start a book with my 11 and 13-year-old daughters. It gives us one-on-one time together to talk about what they are going through and how to think about things.
Favorite quotes:
p. 24 - "Passing down a godly character is one of the things that determine your success as a father. If you pass down character, you'll win. If you don't, you'll lose."
p. 78 - "You have no right to avoid this issue with your kids. You're a father, whether you like it or not, and you've been given a job to do by God. you must press ahead no matter how scared or how far it pushes you out of your comfort zone."
p. 107 - "Hypocrisy breeds rebellion every time."
I thought the "how-to" section was good, but it could have been shorter. However, parts two and three were great, and I can really see how it would open a really great discussion (difficult and awkward, but great nonetheless) with your son. The intention is for the book to open up opportunities to tell my stories of issues in the past because males connect over stories. My boy is not even 8 yet, but I plan to start reading this with him as soon as he turns eleven. I've also used the principles in part one to start a book with my 11 and 13-year-old daughters. It gives us one-on-one time together to talk about what they are going through and how to think about things.
Favorite quotes:
p. 24 - "Passing down a godly character is one of the things that determine your success as a father. If you pass down character, you'll win. If you don't, you'll lose."
p. 78 - "You have no right to avoid this issue with your kids. You're a father, whether you like it or not, and you've been given a job to do by God. you must press ahead no matter how scared or how far it pushes you out of your comfort zone."
p. 107 - "Hypocrisy breeds rebellion every time."
May 28, 2015
My son is 8 and I won't be bringing this topic up with him for a while. But it was good to read about the proper approach to talking to my son about sex. Without a doubt the conversation should be framed in a biblical way and Stoeker and Arterburn do a very good job of that.
The book is divided into two sections: 1) for dad (or single mom) and 2) for son and dad together. The first section is helpful in encouraging dad's to talk to their sons. Not just about sex, but about anything that might be on their minds. Dads, would you rather your sons get their information from you, where you can give it from a biblical perspective or from the locker room? It's alarming how little time father's spend talking with their kids. Be your children's main source of life education. Don't leave it to their friends, movies, television, music, etc. to inform them. The authors talk a lot about "doing book". This is where you read a book together with your kids, one-on-one.
The second section is meant to be read by father's and sons together. Again, it's a few years before I have this talk with my son, but I can see how this will take some of the awkwardness out of the conversation. There are plenty of stories and humor to keep the conversation going.
The book is divided into two sections: 1) for dad (or single mom) and 2) for son and dad together. The first section is helpful in encouraging dad's to talk to their sons. Not just about sex, but about anything that might be on their minds. Dads, would you rather your sons get their information from you, where you can give it from a biblical perspective or from the locker room? It's alarming how little time father's spend talking with their kids. Be your children's main source of life education. Don't leave it to their friends, movies, television, music, etc. to inform them. The authors talk a lot about "doing book". This is where you read a book together with your kids, one-on-one.
The second section is meant to be read by father's and sons together. Again, it's a few years before I have this talk with my son, but I can see how this will take some of the awkwardness out of the conversation. There are plenty of stories and humor to keep the conversation going.
June 27, 2013
As the mom of one son and six daughters, I encourage every parent with sons to read this book with their son! Although meant to be read with fathers and sons, it doesn't mean as a mother you can't read it to your son, or as a mom or dad of only girls. I want to know that my daughters are safe and respected with a boy as much as know that my son is careful and respectful of any young lady he is out with alone. This book is scriptural and filled with great advice for the sometimes very rocky years between ages 11-adult.
February 28, 2017
A must read for every father & son! Designed to read together as your son approaches puberty or early adolesence, this book provides talking points which allows father & son to discuss the changes ahead.
January 12, 2012
A very, very good guide to help you have the full discussion of "every man's battle with your son.
It's been a rich experience to talk frankly with my son about these things, and put ourselves on equal footing that has allowed open conversations since.
Especially important is the integrated Christian approach that provides both the Reason and the Power to do things differently than our degenerating society promotes.
God bless us and our sons in this battle for ourselves and it's effect on our families!
It's been a rich experience to talk frankly with my son about these things, and put ourselves on equal footing that has allowed open conversations since.
Especially important is the integrated Christian approach that provides both the Reason and the Power to do things differently than our degenerating society promotes.
God bless us and our sons in this battle for ourselves and it's effect on our families!
August 24, 2011
This is an excellent book! I'm actually planning to purchase my own copy so that Phil and Devon can read this together in a few years. There's so much valuable information here that I'm sure I would've never thought to discuss with my son as he enters adolescence. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a son.
January 13, 2008
Good platform to share with your son regarding becoming a man and all the evil our culture send our way.
December 8, 2013
I can not give this book enough stars. This is a book all fathers should read then share with their sons.
August 10, 2020
I read this as a recommendation from an old and dear friend from America.
Firstly, I liked the idea and premise of this book. I liked the faith-based frankness, openness, and healthy ideals being promoted. I liked also the idea that it was to be read in two stages of my son's teenage development. (Which makes it officially the longest time I ever taken to actually complete and read a book). It has a lot going for it and with the right audience I can see why a good number gave it 5 stars.
However, the proof of the pudding is my own son's engagement with material too. The first half, he found quite interesting, even if we had to interpret and reappropriate aspects of the American culture. The second half lost his interest. He felt we were repeating effectively the same message over and over and, living in a culture that doesn't have the strong Christian bubble, it didn't quite translate.
He also felt that there was too much emphasis on what not to do in relationships and at the stage he is in, I wonder if he would have benefited more from a book that discussed what it means to become a man holistically as a rite of passage.
Firstly, I liked the idea and premise of this book. I liked the faith-based frankness, openness, and healthy ideals being promoted. I liked also the idea that it was to be read in two stages of my son's teenage development. (Which makes it officially the longest time I ever taken to actually complete and read a book). It has a lot going for it and with the right audience I can see why a good number gave it 5 stars.
However, the proof of the pudding is my own son's engagement with material too. The first half, he found quite interesting, even if we had to interpret and reappropriate aspects of the American culture. The second half lost his interest. He felt we were repeating effectively the same message over and over and, living in a culture that doesn't have the strong Christian bubble, it didn't quite translate.
He also felt that there was too much emphasis on what not to do in relationships and at the stage he is in, I wonder if he would have benefited more from a book that discussed what it means to become a man holistically as a rite of passage.
April 22, 2025
Good to be ahead of the game with this stuff. Essentially we need to have honest conversations with our kids in order for a deeper relationship to develop which in turn will hopefully lead to purity.
Author encourages us to share our failures and successes with our kids to help them in the own journey.
Author encourages us to share our failures and successes with our kids to help them in the own journey.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews