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Every Heart Restored Workbook: A Wife's Guide to Healing in the Wake of Every Man's Battle
A Practical Path to Healing for Wives Facing a Husband's Sexual Sin.
Connecting emotionally in marriage isn't easy. Sadly, many men prefer the false intimacy found in pornography, lust, and self-pleasure. Some husbands refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem. Others eventually become desperate to break free from their sin.
Yet even if your husband-or your boyfriend, if you are single-is genuinely repentant, you may feel overwhelmed by your own pain. How can you help him rebuild his life when you own has been shattered? Why should you even want to? How can you know when to seek healing for your marriage and when to draw the line? In the Every Heart Restored Workbook, you'll find answers to these and other crucial questions.
Despite your husband's betrayal, you can choose a path to growth and healing. Doing so may be the most courageous thing you've ever done. It also may launch you on the hardest and richest marriage-related journey yet.
A companion to Every Heart Restored.
Connecting emotionally in marriage isn't easy. Sadly, many men prefer the false intimacy found in pornography, lust, and self-pleasure. Some husbands refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem. Others eventually become desperate to break free from their sin.
Yet even if your husband-or your boyfriend, if you are single-is genuinely repentant, you may feel overwhelmed by your own pain. How can you help him rebuild his life when you own has been shattered? Why should you even want to? How can you know when to seek healing for your marriage and when to draw the line? In the Every Heart Restored Workbook, you'll find answers to these and other crucial questions.
Despite your husband's betrayal, you can choose a path to growth and healing. Doing so may be the most courageous thing you've ever done. It also may launch you on the hardest and richest marriage-related journey yet.
A companion to Every Heart Restored.
96 pages, Paperback
First published October 19, 2004
12 people want to read
About the author
Stephen F. Arterburn
257 books154 followersStephen Arterburn is the founder and chairman of New Life Ministries—the nation's largest faith-based broadcast, counseling, and treatment ministry—and is the host of the nationally syndicated New Life Live! daily radio program aired on over 180 radio stations nationwide, Sirius XM radio, and on television. Steve is also the founder of the Women of Faith conferences, attended by over 4 million women, and of HisMatchforMe.com.
Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, the New York Times, USA Today, and US News & World Report.
In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A bestselling author, Steve has written more than one hundred books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, Healing Is a Choice. He is a Gold Medallion–winning author and has been nominated for numerous other writing awards.
Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve is a teaching pastor at Northview Church in suburban Indianapolis and resides with his family in Indiana.
Steve is a nationally known public speaker and has been featured in national media venues such as Oprah, Inside Edition, Good Morning America, CNN Live, the New York Times, USA Today, and US News & World Report.
In August 2000, Steve was inducted into the National Speakers Association's Hall of Fame. A bestselling author, Steve has written more than one hundred books, including the popular Every Man's series and his most recent book, Healing Is a Choice. He is a Gold Medallion–winning author and has been nominated for numerous other writing awards.
Steve has degrees from Baylor University and the University of North Texas as well as two honorary doctorate degrees. Steve is a teaching pastor at Northview Church in suburban Indianapolis and resides with his family in Indiana.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
March 9, 2023
Hated every word of this book, wanted to rip it to shreds and burn it. Was the least helpful book I have read on this topic- I have read a lot of books on this topic.
April 30, 2016
Starts slow.
After the first 4-5 chapters things start to fall into place and I felt like I began to better understand why men struggle. There was also a great (and convicting) chapter on what it looks like to respect your husband.
Ch. 7 - Differences bug us. Out of pride we assume that our spouses are choosing to be different because they are stupid, mean and insensitive. Blinded by pride, our attitudes are poor, which then leaves our responses very questionable. In the end, we either respond impatiently, as we would with a child, or ineptly, as we might in dealing with a foreigner. When we're standing on such a high moral ground, we can even stop thinking as a Christian.
Ch. 12 - Porn was not about sex in the first place. It was about rejection, and once you stop the medication (porn), the painful wound beneath is all that is still there and still needs healing.
Ch. 13 - Porn provides a false sense of intimacy & destroys the desire for the real thing. A woman's sexual triggers are based on relationship.
Ch. 14 - Bitterness will cause as much stress on your marriage as your husband's sin. Trust can't exist in a vacuum (like love, forgiveness and commitment can. Trust can only exist in relationship. Don't allow your husband to reframe your lack of trust in him as a referendum about your love for him. He's simply untrustworthy, and if it's a referendum about anyone's love, it would about his love - for you and for God.
Ch. 15 - How much do I (the wife) look like Christ these days in my marriage? Stop inflicting your husband with more wounds from your cold shoulder & biting tongue.
Ch. 16 - How am I doing in my role as helpmate? Huldah Buntain, wife of the great missionary Mark Buntain of Calcutta, openly admitted that for as long as her husband lived, she never had the same call for the people of India that he did, but she had an unmistakable call to support him in his work.
Ch. 17 - You need to be erasing his tapes (that say, "I'm no good. I'm not worthy, etc."), not confirming what's recorded there. "My reactions to you are always a choice, and when I can't love you for your sake because you are being so harsh, I can always find a way to love you for Jesus' sake because of what He's done for me."
Note: I don't like the continued use of the word "normal." The normal Christian, become normal like Christ, etc.
Ch. 18 - If your husband has fully repented and your emotions are still lagging behind the changes in his life, you're no longer dealing with sexual sin. You're now dealing with broken trust. Christianity is always about choices. Whose ideals do you love the most - yours or Christ's? Your anger or His grace? In order to re-establish trust you'll need complete openness & honesty, his patience as you heal and trustworthy acts.
Ch. 20 - Don't retaliate, don't manipulate, and don't play games. You're not here to hurt him (your husband) but to help him. You're not fighting for your way, but for have things God's way. The silent treatment is just another form of anger out of control. You needn't jump him every time he blows it. Trust God. When you aren't speaking, you can be certain that God is.
Ch. 22 - Your husband's body is your prized possession, your only legitimate vessel of sexual satisfaction. His sexuality was created as much for you as it was for him. And yet your husband has lifted your property for his own use.
Ch. 23 - A husband is wrong to use 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (our sexuality was given to us primarily for our partner's pleasure, not our own) to fight for his rights, and instead he should be using it to fight for your rights. Healthy, normal, biblical sex is utilizing all of my sexual energy to serve my marital bond.
After the first 4-5 chapters things start to fall into place and I felt like I began to better understand why men struggle. There was also a great (and convicting) chapter on what it looks like to respect your husband.
Ch. 7 - Differences bug us. Out of pride we assume that our spouses are choosing to be different because they are stupid, mean and insensitive. Blinded by pride, our attitudes are poor, which then leaves our responses very questionable. In the end, we either respond impatiently, as we would with a child, or ineptly, as we might in dealing with a foreigner. When we're standing on such a high moral ground, we can even stop thinking as a Christian.
Ch. 12 - Porn was not about sex in the first place. It was about rejection, and once you stop the medication (porn), the painful wound beneath is all that is still there and still needs healing.
Ch. 13 - Porn provides a false sense of intimacy & destroys the desire for the real thing. A woman's sexual triggers are based on relationship.
Ch. 14 - Bitterness will cause as much stress on your marriage as your husband's sin. Trust can't exist in a vacuum (like love, forgiveness and commitment can. Trust can only exist in relationship. Don't allow your husband to reframe your lack of trust in him as a referendum about your love for him. He's simply untrustworthy, and if it's a referendum about anyone's love, it would about his love - for you and for God.
Ch. 15 - How much do I (the wife) look like Christ these days in my marriage? Stop inflicting your husband with more wounds from your cold shoulder & biting tongue.
Ch. 16 - How am I doing in my role as helpmate? Huldah Buntain, wife of the great missionary Mark Buntain of Calcutta, openly admitted that for as long as her husband lived, she never had the same call for the people of India that he did, but she had an unmistakable call to support him in his work.
Ch. 17 - You need to be erasing his tapes (that say, "I'm no good. I'm not worthy, etc."), not confirming what's recorded there. "My reactions to you are always a choice, and when I can't love you for your sake because you are being so harsh, I can always find a way to love you for Jesus' sake because of what He's done for me."
Note: I don't like the continued use of the word "normal." The normal Christian, become normal like Christ, etc.
Ch. 18 - If your husband has fully repented and your emotions are still lagging behind the changes in his life, you're no longer dealing with sexual sin. You're now dealing with broken trust. Christianity is always about choices. Whose ideals do you love the most - yours or Christ's? Your anger or His grace? In order to re-establish trust you'll need complete openness & honesty, his patience as you heal and trustworthy acts.
Ch. 20 - Don't retaliate, don't manipulate, and don't play games. You're not here to hurt him (your husband) but to help him. You're not fighting for your way, but for have things God's way. The silent treatment is just another form of anger out of control. You needn't jump him every time he blows it. Trust God. When you aren't speaking, you can be certain that God is.
Ch. 22 - Your husband's body is your prized possession, your only legitimate vessel of sexual satisfaction. His sexuality was created as much for you as it was for him. And yet your husband has lifted your property for his own use.
Ch. 23 - A husband is wrong to use 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (our sexuality was given to us primarily for our partner's pleasure, not our own) to fight for his rights, and instead he should be using it to fight for your rights. Healthy, normal, biblical sex is utilizing all of my sexual energy to serve my marital bond.
March 2, 2012
I am at the last chapter but I have not had time to finish it yet.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews