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Things I Learned About My Dad: Humorous and Heartfelt Essays, edited by the creator of www.dooce.com

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Just in time for Father's Day, this uproarious collection of stories, written by some of the most popular writers on the web, celebrates the trials and tribulations of fatherhood. Reprint.

270 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 1, 2008

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About the author

Heather B. Armstrong

8 books311 followers
Heather B. Armstrong is widely acknowledged to be the most popular “mommy blogger” in the world. Her website, dooce®, has twice been listed as one of the 25 best blogs in the world by Time magazine and Forbes listed it as a top 100 website for women. In the eighteen years that Heather has been shaping the internet writing community, she’s worked to create targeted content not only for fellow parents but also for numerous global brands—including Ford, Nintendo, and Clorox—and written a New York Times bestseller, It Sucked and Then I Cried. She lives in Salt Lake City with her two lovely daughters and an insane herding dog.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 80 reviews
Profile Image for Nolan.
3,701 reviews39 followers
August 26, 2015
Some of these essays literally forced me to turn off my book player because I was laughing so hard I couldn't hear the text. Not all of them were that funny, but one or two of them certainly were. Sarah Brown's essay on admitting she simply loved her dad and got along extremely well with him was a nice change to the widely accepted and hailed idea that dads are the appendix of the family, hanging in there maybe, but not all that useful.

I think the second essay in the collection was the funniest and best written of the group. The idea that it may be easier to kick a heroin habit than to endure the withering resentment of a woman who had to give up booze, coffee and more while the guy essentially gives up nothing during a pregnancy was scream-out-loud funny. I was fascinated by what seemed to be a high level of essayists who had once belonged to the ,mormon faith but had renounced it. Both the editor of the collection and presumably her husband fit that category, as does at least one other essay writer. It's not a big deal, since they didn't dwell on the fact, but that skewed perspective fascinated me.

Some of these essays felt more like blog entries than what I would call a fully structured essay. But there are enough humorous and otherwise touching moments in here to make it worth the read.

There is a good bit of profanity in some of these essays, so those who prefer not to read profanity may want to let this go unread.
Profile Image for Sarah.
38 reviews
May 28, 2008
A few of these essays were brilliant pieces of writing. Moving, funny, and very clever. But you have to wade through some duds to appreciate the good stuff. Alice Bradley, Doug French, Maggie Mason, and James Griffioen's were some of my favorites.
Profile Image for Megan.
93 reviews8 followers
February 28, 2009
I really enjoyed this. It has been awhile since I have read a collection of essays (the last was Sedaris which I did not like. I'm sorry! I know I'm supposed to like it! But I didn't!) Sadly, with two older boys and a new baby, sitting down for a ten or fifteen minute read is the perfect amount for me, and it was nice to start each reading session with someone new. I read several of the blogs by the writers, and this made some of the essays feel like they were written by old friends, which is a bit creepy for them probably. A few times I laughed out loud (that kid with the firecracker!) and others were sad. I could relate to some of the stories as my father's daughter, and other times as my husband's wife, and others as a mother. I feel like this a very general review but I don't want to talk too much about the specific essays. I would def. reccomend this book.
Profile Image for Audrey.
Author 1 book83 followers
November 28, 2008
I've been looking forward to this collection for several reasons. #1, I truly enjoy Heather's blog -- she makes me laugh and think and yell WTF? on a daily basis. The topic of fatherhood really caught my attention, too, as my husband is a much more hands-on father than my dad was, and also because my dad passed away 8 years ago so there's an entirely different dynamic there now.

Overall, I wasn't that impressed. There were about three or four GOOD essays here, and the rest were just so-so. This might be better if you just dip into it now and then, rather than reading it all at once.
Profile Image for Magda.
1,210 reviews37 followers
July 12, 2013
I hadn't realized that Dooce was just the editor and the contributor of one of the essays. I enjoyed this book more than I had thought I would, although at least two of the essays went into some darker experiences with fathers than the rest. Another difficulty was that everything was in first person, so I sort of glommed all the stories I'd already read into one narrative, which was retrospectively confusing.
Profile Image for Debbie.
1,613 reviews
May 18, 2022
I thought this was a collection of essays Armstrong wrote, and I was looking forward to nostalgia reading, since I used to read dooce.com all the time. I was a little surprised when I saw the table of contents and discovered she only has a few essays in the book (and Jon has one), but there are many other bloggers and writers who submitted essays for the collection too. So, of course, some essays were more interesting, better written, and/or funnier than others, and it's hard to give an overall rating for the book.

As I read, though, I took notes on the essays in a funny sort of way to help me keep track of the ones that might be useful for mentor texts in my classroom or for myself in the future.

Part 1:

1) This one might have been edgy 15 years ago, but it didn't age well. A few off-color jokes and comments about ethnicity and gender roles make me not want to read it again.

2) This essay is really funny, in that self-deprecating way that many comedians adopt. Don't miss the extended metaphor of the Lord of the Rings as it applies to pregnancy.

3) This was a letter to the writer's daughter, with a lot of rumination about the meaning and purpose of one's name. His kite metaphor of parenting is really sweet.

Part 2:

1) I did not have a husband or a kid obsessed with Star Wars, but I can imagine this essay being written by me instead of the woman who did writer it. I recognize the "I don't know about that topic" strategy for avoiding conversations and play that I'm not interested in engaging in with my kids.

2) This is Armstrong's first essay in the book, and I recognized the style immediately. I thought her reflections on parental role reversal were spot on, as usual, and really interesting.

3) This was a tough one to read. It's written as a letter to his two sons, who he is spending a wonderful summer with as his divorce to their mother is processed. He is extraordinarily kind in his discussions of her, and his writing about the generations that came before him were also really interesting.

4) This is another role reversal essay, this time from a man's perspective. He was a lawyer in California, is now (was when it was written) a SAHD in Detroit. Although his story about the stray dogs at the playground and the fire at a nearby GUNS store were interesting, my favorite parts were when he wrote about the urban and rural environments.

5) This writer is correct - dads adopt projects for their kids. Sometimes they finish them.

6) I did not love the tone of this essay in particular. The writer seemed grumpy, angry, resentful, and generally annoyed, and his essay felt more like a lecture after I did something bad than an essay about fatherhood between two adults. I suspect he's one of those people who needed to write the essay as a form of therapy... and I hope he also went to therapy.

Part 3:

1) This is another Heather Armstrong essay, this time about her husband Jon's relationship with her dad. I think I might have read parts of this before because it sounded familiar. It is rough reading, with her reflections on her tough dad who was then in need of help, but I still enjoyed both the funny parts and the toughing parts.

2) There were lots of random comments and stories in this essay, and it felt more stream of consciousness writing that someone decided to organize in a way that seemed like an essay (but maybe still wasn't).

3) This essay was from Jon Armstrong, Heather's husband and Leta's dad. I don't know that I had read much from him - I've never intentionally seeked out his blog when I was reading dooce - but I enjoyed this episodic story about Jon's dad slowly losing himself to Alzheimer's. Jon walks the line between thoughtful and sappy well, and I liked how he was able to maintain his father's pride in the telling of the roughest patches.

4) This is an essay that I did not see coming - a woman who was medically abused by her father as a child (no significant details, thankfully) who suffered some mental issues because of the trauma, but grew to forgive his actions as he is battling dementia. I am floored by her.

5) This essay was over the top gushing about the writer's dad. She even notes that the reader might be getting tired of hearing how awesome her dad is, it's so complimentary. But he seems like an honestly awesome guy and I think it's important those accounts are out there.

6) This tale of the writer's boyfriend's two dads was interesting, but kind of boring. I didn't feel like it was especially reflective about them - maybe more reflective about his stepmom - and I wanted something more from this writer than what was offered.

7) I did not understand the point of this essay, and I think I skipped it after the first 5 pages. It's the second-last essay in the book, though, so maybe I was just getting tired of reading about fatherly relationships. But 5 pages in, there had been little to no discussion of the writer's father yet.

8) This essay felt like three short essays or blog posts that the author tried to connect into one longer one. There was the story with the little kid in the parking lot was a good shocking opening, the conversation with Cat was amusing, and the end note, about the fact that the author can just do his best when raising kids was a suitable, if a little pithy, ending to the collection.
Profile Image for Tyler.
475 reviews22 followers
July 15, 2008
I really like the essays by Heather B. Armstrong and a few of the other bloggers. Unfortunately there were a couple essays that just seemed disjointed and unrelated. I laughed while reading most essays and got a bit teary-eyed during a couple of others. It really was quite interesting to get so many different viewpoints in one little book.
Profile Image for Genie.
23 reviews2 followers
July 6, 2008
When I first started reading through this essay collection, I wasn't particularly entranced with it, but it definitely grew on me. I loved, in particular, Sarah Brown's essay about her kick-arse Dad, and Jon Armstrong's essay about his relationship with his father, as well as "Long Live the Weeds and the Wilderness Yet" by James Griffioen.
59 reviews2 followers
March 4, 2012
I am just about done with this very funny read. Some of the essays are so funny I had tears running down my face. Others are just very honest and true to life, and they all make you think a little more about your own father/husband/self (depending on who you are) and what role they play in your life.
Profile Image for Sarah Pascarella.
560 reviews18 followers
June 3, 2008
I bought this book for James Griffioen's essay (blogger extraordinare of Sweet-Juniper.com), and it didn't disappoint. The essays by Heather Armstrong, Jon Armstrong, and Sarah Brown were also fun reads.
Profile Image for Jeff.
210 reviews1 follower
June 17, 2019
As with most anthologies, it was hit and miss. For me, as a father of four, I was less impressed with the early essays about young children. But I did appreciate the essays about later life and the views of the adult children when they have a more mature frames of reference.
Profile Image for Jessica (thebluestocking).
982 reviews20 followers
August 28, 2012
I must confess a little something. I have been an avid reader of Dooce for years. It is a "mommy blog," yes, but I enjoyed it well before I had a child. I love the writing most of all. So, when Heather B. Armstrong, the creator of Dooce, published her first book, I had to read it. It Sucked and Then I Cried is an excellent memoir that explores pregnancy and being a new mother and post-partum depression and mental illness. And it's hilarious. Did I mention that Armstrong lives in Utah?

Armstrong's second foray into published works was to edit a collection of essays on fatherhood called Things I Learned About My Dad (in Therapy). Two of the included essays are hers and one was written by her now estranged husband, Jon.

Unfortunately, I didn't love the collection. Each of the pieces was easy to read. But, for a book about fatherhood, I felt relatively unconnected to the authors. And many of the essays, as well as the arrangement of the essays, felt uneven. I felt as if each piece were simply a lengthier blog post. And that makes sense, as almost every contributor is, in fact, a blogger. My favorite essays were "Ten Conclusions from Four Years of Fatherhood," by Kevin Guilfoile and "Peas and Domestic Tranquility," by Greg Knauss. While some of the essays contained hilarity and parenting truths, this collection just didn't quite gel for me.
Profile Image for Rachelle Bowden.
31 reviews7 followers
August 19, 2009
This is a book of essays about fathers compiled and edited by Heather Armstrong (Dooce). Some stories are about being a father, some are about the writers' fathers. All of the authors are bloggers and some people have had issue with this. That many of these stories were already mostly written on the web somewhere. I didn't have an issue and I enjoyed the book. I read Dooce daily, but none of the other writer's sites, so most of this was new to me. Even the essay by Jon, Heather's husband, was new to me. Or maybe I just have a bias because I've met Heather when we sat on a panel together at BlogHer 2006. I also saw her speak on a few panels at SXSW last year - Content Boundaries, a 12-Step Program & Online Adulation. Or it could be that my dad's 60th birthday is tomorrow and I've been thinking about him a lot in planning his party. Some of the stories are funny, some insightful, some sentimental, some all three. In any case, I think if you are a father or you have a father (or father figure) you will probably enjoy this book.
Profile Image for aCupcakeBlonde.
1,442 reviews26 followers
August 19, 2008
I love Dooce.com. It was the blog that sparked my need to get a blog of my own. I still read it daily and enjoy Heather's sharp wit and brutal honesty. So when I heard about this book I snatched it up right away because I was so excited to read something written by her. I knew it was a colaboration of essays from other writers/bloggers as well but was surprised to discover how little of Heather there was in the book. And while some of the entries had me rolling on the floor holding my gut in exploding laughter, others made me wish I wasn't reading them. Not that they were bad but rather made me slightly uncomfortable. Which is why I couldn't give more than three stars to this book. Also the quote blocks distracted me since they often quoted the line right before or after them so I felt like I was reading a repeat.

Still love Dooce and look forward to the possibility of a solo book from her.
Profile Image for Laura.
780 reviews
July 10, 2008
This book of essays was a nice read, but nothing spectacular. Some were better than others. The second-to-last one was just bizarre and rambling.

This would be a nice gift to a new father. Several of the essays written by men about being fathers were really great. I laughed out loud over some of them. The editor, Heather Armstrong, should have just gone with that theme instead of including stories by her various blogging friends about fathers and fatherhood. There was only one written by a woman that I really enjoyed, the rest were so-so.

I'm disappointed that I paid money for this book, but I had high expectations since I really enjoy dooce.com (Ms. Armstrong's personal website). I thought her keen eye for her own blogging would make her a good editor of other people's works. Um, not so much.
Profile Image for Embee.
26 reviews27 followers
June 7, 2008
No self respecting 'Doocefan' can call themselves a 'Doocefan', if they haven't read this book. Now a die-hard 'Doocefan' probably would have sent their copy of the book to Heather Armstrong herself for an autograph... And an, "I'll be a 'Doocefan' 'til the day I die", 'Doocefan' would've bought an airline ticket to Salt Lake City, Utah for her book signing yesterday. Me, I just bought the book at the local Border's and read it. I'm not some wacked out blog fan that warrants a restraining order... BUT, I do have a 'Dooce' t-shirt!

I enjoyed the majority of this book but frankly, there was just too little 'Dooce' in it. I think Heather could publish a book of entirely all her own writing and it would be just as, if not more, enjoyable.
1 review
September 20, 2008
Got the book "fresh from the oven". It was sent by my friend in London as soon as it appear on Amazon. I think I'm one of the first Indonesian who read it. Dooce is always my number one writer. Love her blog, love her book too.

This book contains pieces of story from several coolest blog in the world. Dooce's story is unquestionably rock, but other manuscripts she chooses is also superb. She pick fatherhood as a theme, but it's actually only the wrap. In the inside we would find lots of entertaining, brilliant and heart-touched stories-- about little things happen in parents-children's "love and hate" relationship.

Very highly recommended for those who expect to read a entertaining, useful yet brilliant piece of work. I proclaimed this book as one of my "bible" in writing style.
18 reviews1 follower
July 30, 2008
I gave this three stars because some of the essays were better than others, which is to be expected. And the quote blocks annoyed me. I get that they're trying to grab my attention by highlighting one of the best lines, but this is not a magazine article. It's a book...that I'm already reading.

Anyway, all in all it was enjoyable and insightful, despite some unevenness (is that a word?) in the writing. If I had kids, I'd probably enjoy it even more.

NOTE: I recommended this book to chick-lit lovers, but it doesn't follow that it IS chick-lit, in the strictest sense. Similar audience, is all.
Profile Image for Erika.
38 reviews
July 21, 2014
Update- I finished. This is a great book. I'll warn you, there was one story that made me cry myself to sleep, but in a good way I guess.

I've been reading this one for a couple weeks now. It's not a long book, but I find when I read a compilation of short stories it takes me longer to get through everything with the lack of story that brings you back night after night. That isn't to say the stories in here are boring by any means! They are fantastic. I'm considering getting my dad and grandpa copies for Father's Day. Heather, you nailed this one on the head! Thank you!
Profile Image for Mandi Middlestetter.
4 reviews3 followers
June 25, 2008
Fantastically easy to read, this collection of essays from fathers and the occasional mother is another genre I love. Heather Armstrong is the author of one of my favorite blogs - after Perez Hilton, of course: www.dooce.com. Her effortless style and rhythm is one I relate to, look up to, and hope to make my own someday. (With a twist, of course. I'm not saying I wanna sound exactly like her.) But this lady's got a mighty fine thing going. I hope she does another collection of essays in the future.
Profile Image for nicole.
2,214 reviews73 followers
August 18, 2008
when i finished, i tried to think what i would tell kristen - whether or not she should read it. we're both huge dooce fanatics, so not reading it is not an option, but for me at least, i loved what was written by those i already loved and was confirmed that i was right on those i was already not into at all. you think - oh fantastic, dooce and finslippy in a book together! but then you're like, oh yes, but its about fatherhood and being a father or having one or someone else's father. i will stick with the daily blog reading.
Profile Image for Tiffani.
19 reviews1 follower
August 21, 2008
This is a book compiled by Heather Armstrong, the author of dooce.com. Since I already knew that I liked her, I knew that this book would be a really fun read. It is a collection of short stories about being a father, or remembering something about the author's dad. Some of them were laugh out loud funny and some were serious. I highly recommend this book as one that you read out loud to someone. Nate and I read it together. It's enjoyable alone, but much more fun to share with someone else.

My favorite one is about the star wars dad. Go read it so you know what I'm talking about. :)
Profile Image for Emily.
79 reviews1 follower
June 15, 2009
A pretty good collection of essays, although, unfortunately, several of them sounded rather bloggy. (Nothing against blogs, but when I pick up a book I'd like to read a book, not a blog.) There were a few essays that had a very disjointed feel to them, and a few others with a very self-important tone to them. But others were good. By far my favorite is the peas essay :) I may go buy this book for myself just for that essay (I gave the copy I read to my dad for Father's Day). It was humorous, and hit on some great insights on parenting. Worth the book :)
Profile Image for Lena Yue.
1 review
July 1, 2008
This book was thoroughly entertaining and very heartfelt. But I was expecting something more. More of that in your face, laugh out loud, politically incorrect, caps locked, colorful writing that defines Dooce.com (and Heather). Obviously, the book wasn’t going to be the same as her website because, after all, she didn’t write all of the essays. But sometimes it felt a little...flat, too simple. Overall, it was a good book, and definitely something I would recommend to others
Profile Image for Eden.
33 reviews
June 18, 2008
I think I expected a bit more out of this book. I liked the first essay by Heather a lot and I liked a few of the others, but I expected them to be laugh-out-loud funny or brutally tender or incisive and wise. What I got out of the book was a more grating and harsh worldview than I really wanted. There seem to be some really great writers in this group, but I think the style was just a bit much for me.
Profile Image for Cynthia.
261 reviews1 follower
March 9, 2009
Collection of essays edited by Dooce author, Heather Armstrong. Much on fatherhood, parenting and being the child of a remarkable, good and bad father. Many were funny, some were poignant and a few were a little confusing. Sometimes blog writers don't translate to essay writers because there is such continuity with the readers who know and love you, versus the readers who just pull a book off a shelf at the library. Overall some interesting ideas on parenting and fatherhood and worth the read.
Profile Image for Elizabeth.
19 reviews5 followers
October 18, 2008
I LOVE dooce.com so I was expecting to LOVE this book, as Dooce herself was both a contributor and the editor. I suppose the reason I don't really like collections of essays or short stories is that I tend to not like ALL of the writers included and I sometimes have difficulty pushing through to the next one, and that was the case here. Some essays were funny or touching or generally great, and some were just dull.

Overall, I was expecting more.
Profile Image for T.
100 reviews3 followers
Read
January 26, 2022
There are a few decent essays in here. I like Eden Kennedy's; there are aspects of Leah Peterson's that are at least interesting, and those are just the two popping to mind, but a lot of it falls short. I feel like there is a voice on a blog where you can get this whole sense of a person's voice that gets lost in singular essays in a book. Some of these would make perfectly good blog posts, but on the page un-surrounded by all that other fodder...just blah.
Profile Image for Emily Stuart.
43 reviews15 followers
May 11, 2009
I am STILL reading this book. It was given to me by my co-worker becasue she knows I am a huge fan of Heather (www.dooce.com) but I don't really find this book to be all that funny. Maybe it's becasue I don't have children and can't really relate. There are a few stories that I have found funny but overall it's just ok.
Profile Image for Melanie.
30 reviews5 followers
September 17, 2008
This book is a collection of essays about dads edited by the author of dooce.com. I enjoyed the most of the essays, but I especially loved the ones in the beginning chapters dealing with pregnancy and young children. I was also happy to be introduced to some fabulous writers as well. Although I don't have children, the book was relatable and a entertaining read.
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