Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters

by Anita Kushwaha

For readers of Shilpi Somaya Gowda’s "Secret Daughter" and Nancy Richler’s "The Imposter Bride", a breathtaking novel from Anita Kushwaha about the ties that bind mothers and daughters together and the secrets that tear them apart

Veena, Mala and Nandini are three very different women with something in common. Out of love, each bears a secret that will haunt her life—and that of her daughter—when the risk of telling the truth is too great. But secrets have consequences. Particularly to Asha, the young woman on the cusp of adulthood who links them together.

On the day after her eighteenth birthday, Asha is devastated to learn that she was adopted as a baby. What’s more, her birth mother died of a mysterious illness shortly before then, leaving Asha with only a letter.

Nandini, Asha’s adoptive mother, has always feared the truth would come between them.

Veena, a recent widow, worries about her daughter Mala’s future. The shock of her husband’s sudden death leaves her shaken and convinces her that the only way to keep her daughter safe is to secure her future.

Mala struggles to balance her dreams and ambition with her mother’s expectations. She must bear a secret, the burden of which threatens her very life.

Three mothers, bound by love, deceit and a young woman who connects them all. Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters is an intergenerational novel about family, duty and the choices we make in the name of love.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Canada, Audiobook, Adoption, Literary Fiction, Book Club

368 pages, Paperback

First published January 28, 2020

About the author

Anita Kushwaha is an award-winning Canadian author. Her road to publication included a fulfilling career in academia, where she studied human geography at Carleton University and earned an M.A. and a Ph.D as a Tri-council funded scholar, collaborating with Indigenous communities in the eastern Canadian Arctic and Ottawa on socio-cultural and environmental issues. A graduate of the Humber School for Writers creative writing program, her work has appeared in Ms. Magazine, The Globe and Mail, Quill and Quire, The Literary Review of Canada, The 49th Shelf, Open Book, Word on the Street, The Ottawa Review of Books, Ottawa Life Magazine, Girly Book Club, CBC All in a Day, and Canadian Living among others. Her first novel, Side by Side, won an Independent Publisher Book Awards' Silver Medal for Multicultural Fiction in 2019. She is also the author of a novella, The Escape Artist. Her latest novel, Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters, was released in January 2020 by HarperCollins Canada and selected as a March Book of the Month by Word on the Street, highlighted as a "Books with Buzz" by Canadian Living, selected as an "Editors' Pick" by The 49th Shelf, and included in the "Crazy for CanLit" reading list curated by the Giller Prize Foundation. Themes in her work include exploring the social and cultural pressures faced by South Asian girls and women, immigrant experiences, diaspora, intergenerational conflict, identity, belonging, place, and mental health. She is a member of the Canadian Authors Association, the Women's Fiction Writers Association, and is the recipient of an Ontario Arts Council Literary Creations Grant. She proudly writes about communities in the National Capital Region where she is from. She lives in Ottawa.

Reviews

[Norma ~ The Sisters · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heart-wrenching, compassionate & an absorbing intergenerational tale!

SECRET LIVES OF MOTHERS & DAUGHTERS by ANITA KUSHWAHA was such a touching, emotional, dramatic, and powerful story that tackles the complex relationships between mothers and daughters. It is such a beautiful book filled with so much love, heart, desire, acceptance, and truth that I was immediately drawn into.

I have an absolute love for these types of tales that center around adoption and motherhood and the secrets we keep to protect our loved ones. And the mistakes that we make without realizing the hurt that those secrets can ultimately cause. It really plays on my emotions, making me really care for the characters, fully placing me right into their lives and the narrative.

ANITA KUSHWAHA delivers a complex, layered and beautifully written story here that weaves together seamlessly the stories of Veena, Mala, and Nandini, and a young woman named Asha, who connects them all. I was totally entertained and enthralled with all these compelling characters' perspectives equally. I really needed to know how all of their lives were connected and was completely pleased and satisfied with the resolution.

I thoroughly enjoyed the reading experience and I would definitely recommend this one!

Thank you so much to HarperCollins Canada and Anita Kushwaha for providing me with a finished copy. It was an absolute pleasure reading this book!

[Samantha Bailey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was mesmerized by Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters. It’s a stunning, gorgeously written inter-generational tale about Veena, Mala, and Nandini, three very different mothers, each harboring their own secrets, and a young woman named Asha, who links them all. A layered, emotional, powerful story about duty, desire, and the secrets we keep in the name of love, it’s a book I savored through every word.

[Laurie • The Baking Bookworm · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 STARS - Secret Lives of Mothers and Daughters is a touching story about a small group of women whose lives are woven together as they struggle with issues of identity, insecurities, motherhood, family obligations, mental illness and the influence of culture and traditional roles on their lives.

I loved that the story was set in Ottawa, Ontario (yay Canada and CanLit!) but it was the often complicated bonds between mothers and daughters that drew me into the story. By using multiple POVs, Kushwaha gives her readers a well-rounded look at the issues and allows them to sympathize and easily connect with her main characters - Mala, Nandini, Veena and Asha.

This is a compassionate look at family (both birth and chosen) and through these women, the author provides an interesting look at cultural expectations from an Indian-Canadian perspective. Initially, there is a bit of a mystery, but readers become privy to the secret early on with the remainder of the book focusing on the relationships, aftermath and struggles of the characters.

I appreciated how these issues were explored with compassion and I think readers will connect with this story about family, identity, womanhood and motherhood and all the ups and downs that come with those roles. While the ending was tied up a little too nicely for my liking, I was impressed with this novel and look forward to reading more from this author.

[Natalie Jenner · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was unable to put down this absorbing family drama, tearing through the pages to find out both how all the different lives connected as well as their ultimate reconciliation and resolution. This is a heartbreaking yet hopeful and beautiful tale of what motherhood means, the different ways we choose to honour our parents, and the struggle to be true to ourselves. I was particularly moved by the very effective love story of Mala and Ash - I could feel their deep emotion for each other, making their journey so incredibly moving. Kushwaha has a very clean and efficient yet poetic style, and I loved the way she described people’s interior thought patterns, making me feel close to each of the many strongly sketched characters in this book. This was an affirming and poignant effort by a Canadian talent to watch.

[Anna Kaling · Rating 5 out of 5]

SLOMAD is a beautiful book about three women. They all feel like real people - they have their own hopes, dreams, and fears and, crucially, the pressure of responsibilities that every generation of women, in every country, has felt. In fact, they don't just feel like real people but like friends. I hoped with them and cried with them and shut my eyes when they had to make tough decisions.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't an "issues" book. It's not there to preach at you or make some political point about women's rights, adoption, about family tradition, about anything, really. It aims to entertain, to make you feel, and it does a beautiful job. It unfolds organically like a map and shows you where things are, not what you should think about them. I was captivated.

The writing is great - lightly lyrical without being pretentious or purple. The three different narratives are woven together so deftly that I felt equally invested in each of the women's stories, which is unusual for me. Normally I favour one POV character over the others and feel a bit disappointed when we dip into someone else's narrative.

I only have one criticism, and that's that all the delicious descriptions of Indian food made me HUNGRY.

[Samantha Verant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kushwaha has delivered a beautiful book filled with heart, hope, and truth. While all the characters are beautifully rendered and as the storyline comes together, Asha's grief, her wanting to know answers (through her journal entries), really resonated with me-- best summed up with this quote: "Doesn't everyone want to know they come from love?"

Kushwaha hits the longing...the truth of all these women (the mothers, the daughters), the mistakes we make, the secrets we keep, and it made me question my life, where I came from. This is a wonderful and REAL book that I'm happily recommending with a gazillion stars.

[Mai Nguyễn · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful novel about secrets, revelation, motherhood, family and love. The voices of the women are convincing and I feel I know them from real life. The plot is complex, and Anita Kushwaha delivers it with ease. Her prose is graceful and filled with compassion.

I really enjoy Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters. I look forward to discovering other work written by this author.

[Sara T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

TLDR; The Secret Lives is a story of adoption and motherhood that is as beautiful, compassionate, and as hopeful as it is heartbreaking.

Minor thematic spoilers follow.
In The Secret Lives of Mothers and Daughters ,Author Anita Kushwaha tackles one of the most complex and complicated connections between women: the relationship between mother and daughter. It is a deep dive into those relationships, from multiple angles, and involving some incredibly complex, but beautifully written characters.

Readers are introduced to Asha, a young woman on the verge of adulthood who learns a devastating secret. On her birthday, Asha's mother Nandini gives her a letter written eighteen years ago, by Asha's birth mother. The reveal of her adoption sends Asha into a deep dive into her own identity, what motherhood means, and why people keep secrets from the people they love the most.

Asha's journey parallels her birth mother's own story, as an alternative narrative reveals Mala, a young woman dealing with her own questions about identity as well as the obligations one owes to family, culture and society. Mala struggles to reconcile her independent aspirations for a career and a life of her own, as well as romantic feelings for a fellow grad student with her desire to please her traditional mother. When her mother suggests an arranged marriage Mala has to balance her own desires for modern independence and romantic love with her cultural upbringing and love of her mother.

Author Kushwaha handles these difficult themes and questions with nuance and compassion. The characters are all so beautifully written that you truly care for them and their struggles. The parallels of these women's lives show the heavy questions women deal with across generations. Despite very different temperaments, immediate contexts, and, ultimately, responses, both Mala and Asha find comfort and guidance in their personal connections with Brontë's Jane Eyre. When Mala weighs an offer of an arranged marriage, she compares to an offer to Jane: "Not the thrill of passion but the comforts of a peaceful household. The freedom to live one's life. A commitment to be respectful friends. Close to the offer St. John had offered Jane." These literary connections ground the lives of Mala and Asha in familiar literature and draw parallels in the lives women have lived for centuries. Things may have changed between the generations, but not that much.

The Secret Lives also tackles mental illness. From grief and anxiety to depression and post partum, the characters all struggle in their own ways with the pressures of society, culture, and family. Kushwaha approaches each woman's path individually, but draws parallels that allow you to empathize and relate to each one. There is heartbreak throughout the story for all of the characters, but there is a lot of hope and healing along the way.

One of the subtle things Kushwaha has done is with the names of her characters. There’s the oft-noted fact that Asha’s name means hope, and as the central daughter that ties together all of the women in the story, it’s a fitting name. But then there’s the themes that string together the other characters. For instance, the characters that are not Indian all have tree-based names: Willow, Rowan, Ash Groves, connecting them all together across timelines through their names if nothing else. Love is a prevailing them in the names as well: Prem—love and affection, Nandini—joy and delight, and even the last name Sharma—joyfulness. Then there’s Mala, which means garland, and Sumesh, Lord of flowers, and how those names connect them is something I won’t spoil here. The clever ways Kushwaha has weaved these names and themes throughout the story so deftly and subtly, I didn’t even catch their significance until the final pages. It’s a testament to Kushwaha’s skills that the symbolism is so strong and yet so subconscious as to nearly be missed.

Ultimately, The Secret Lives is a beautiful and compassionate story about adoption, identity, and motherhood. It's a story of women, in all their tragedy, potential, and beauty.

TLDR; The Secret Lives is beautiful, compassionate, and as hopeful as it is heartbreaking.

I received an ARC of this book from the publisher with no expectations or requests for review.

[Lainey Cameron · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this story of how sometimes, in the attempt to do the right thing, we keep secrets that ultimately do not serve (or hurt) the ones we love. Secret Lives of Mothers and Daughters offers up a poignant exploration of the different facets of motherhood.

I enjoyed how the different women’s’ stories intertwined and I especially how the novel brought me what felt like insider insights into the diversity of traditions in first generation immigrant Indian families who’ve made their homes in Canada. Every character that Kushwaha has created is love-able and you want them all to find peace, but ultimately life is rarely perfect that way.

This novel made me smile at many points. It’s poignant, uplifting, sad at moments, too. Kushwaha had me caring enough for the characters that I even cried. A masterful, uplifting, poignant and touching debut.

[Eddy Tan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a richly layered story that explores the complexities of family, our identities, and the dependencies between the two. The characters — all mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, or lovers — come to life in relatable fashion, caught between the demands of duty and their own unique desires. I found myself engrossed in this push and pull as their secrets unravelled in astonishing, sometimes heartbreaking, ways. Anita Kushwaha’s writing is gorgeous, and this story is bursting with intimacy and humanity.

I’ve seen this novel classified as women’s lit, but I found much to relate to as a male reader. Ultimately, it’s a story about family, with the mothers and daughters rightfully as the stars.

[Kelly Duran · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel was an utterly absorbing and emotional journey for me. I was immediately drawn in by each of the characters and fully invested in their stories. Secret Lives of Mothers & Daughters covers so many important topics but - at its core - Kushwaha has written a wonderfully layered, multi-generational tale about the power of love and the bond of motherhood. Her writing is lyrical and powerful. The emotions her characters are feeling jumped off the page and into my own heart. I was sorry to reach the end of this book and can’t wait to read whatever Kushwaha writes next.

[Ashley King · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful and lyrically written, I found it hard to put this stunning novel down. I truly cared for each of the characters, feeling completely invested in each of their stories. I smiled when they smiled and when they were in pain, I felt that to my core--that's what a fantastic job Kushwaha does at crafting her characters and their journeys. I cannot recommend SLOMAD enough and look forward to this author's next novel!

[Alina Boyden · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful book that deals with the universal themes of love and acceptance, and the stress and joy families bring in equal measure. I highly recommend it for anyone who is interested in family dramas, with the added twist of a South Asian diasporic experience.

[Lisa Wilkes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Secret Lives of Mothers and Daughters (SLOMAD) takes readers on an emotional journey laced with unexpected twists and turns. This book opens with a touching description of a couple desperately seeking to grow their family. From the first page, SLOMAD provides a heartfelt, tender depiction of the link shared among blood- and chosen- relatives. Asha’s letters to an elusive recipient capture her longing for intimacy and connection, her yearning to communicate with a biological parent she’s never known. The story moved at a rapid and engaging pace, partly because it had alternating perspectives. I finished the book in two days; I simply couldn’t put it down. Throughout the book, there were timely references to Jane Eyre. I loved how Mala and Asha each found solace in that classic novel, elucidating the deep and intricate roots of their relationship. Additionally, Secret Lives of Mothers and Daughters introduced me to a culture vastly different from my own, one filled with tradition, honor, and indestructible familial bonds. Although SLOMAD portrayed a distinct ethnic identity which bears little resemblance to mine, part of the magic of this book was its ability to cross geographic and cultural lines. I found this novel incredibly relatable. Mala sought redemption and meaning in the wake of her father’s passing. She attempted to find herself amid delicate relationships with her mother as well as her lovers. Her character was easy to empathize with; who hasn’t experienced similar insecurities and hidden desires? Overall, this novel is easily one of the most unpredictable and captivating books I’ve ever read.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will definitely write a longer, more substantial review once I get my thoughts together, but this book is going straight onto my favorites list. The emotion Anita Kushwaha pours into this is stunning and when I reached the end I was devastated—I just wanted to read more!

It was beautiful at its start and I wanted to savor it, but I found myself racing along to find out more as Mala’s and Asha’s stories unfolded. This book is a gift.

[Laura H L · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was kind of cool reading a novel that was set in my old hometown of Ottawa. I liked the parallel story line of Asha, a young woman who finds out she is adopted and her birth mother, Mala, who dies a few months after her daughter's birth. It's a story that draws you in as you follow in the footsteps of two young women and their relationship with their mothers.

[Claire Huston · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review was originally posted on my book blog.

Tackling difficult and emotional themes such as the immigrant experience, mental health and identity, Secrets Lives of Mothers & Daughters is a moving story of the affection, obligations and traditions which maintain and break family bonds.

As in the author’s previous novel, Side by Side (click for my review), the characters are incredibly sympathetic, particularly the two young, intelligent, caring women at the centre of the dual narratives: Mala and Asha. We come to care about them incredibly quickly and it’s the success of these connections which pulls the reader through the book, unwilling to leave them until we know how their stories will end. I was so eager to find out how it would all work out, I read the book in two sittings, and the break in the middle was taken unwillingly.

As the title leads you to expect, there are several important revelations, and so I’m reluctant to say anything about the plot. In fact, I think going into the story knowing as little as possible is best (I hadn’t even read the blurb!). Just let yourself get caught up in the characters’ predicaments and you’ll be swept along. Though this is definitely a character-driven story, the plot moves forward swiftly, packed as it is with drama and tension. Indeed, the narrative is bursting with internal conflict as the characters struggle with difficult choices and whether to put family responsibilities and a sense of duty to their elders before their own desire for independence and self-determination.

Overall: a gripping story of family and personal drama centred on caring, intelligent female characters dealing with disorientating changes in their lives as best they can and making some mistakes along the way.

[Fadilah · Rating 5 out of 5]

i cried very many times but wow this book was so good :")

[Kendra Ayers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received and ARC of Secret Lives of Mothers and Daughters and I could not put it down. The book is full of story spinning (as I call it) with dual perspectives and rich dialogue and inner monologue. I loved all of the women represented in this book but I will start with Mala. She’s in love with a man she can never truly have. The torture of this reality, along with the surprise that comes with it, is too much for her to take on alone. I felt for her. I ached each time she lost someone close to her and fell deeper into the well of despair. And there’s Asha. Just a teenage girl about to trade her high school life for college and adulthood. She is traumatized by the secret her family has kept from her for eighteen years and has no idea how to process what comes next. These women, and their mothers, must unravel before they can move forward with whatever future fate allows them. This novel is heartbreaking and mesmerizing at the same time! I could not put this one down. I cried, I held my breath, and I sighed with relief more times than I could count. And excellent read and beautiful story on womanhood and the expectations that come with.

[Booksandchinooks (Laurie) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a well written book and I really loved the connecting stories told in this book. I always enjoy family stories so this book about mothers and daughters had me intrigued. On Asha’s 18th birthday her parents tell her she was adopted as a baby. She is completely stunned to learn this and is furious at her parents for keeping this a secret for so long. Her parents have a letter from her birth mother and Asha then begins searching to learn more about her biological parents. Mala is a grad student at university and her father has recently passed away. Her mother, Veena, is quite traditional in her Indian culture and is hoping Mala will soon marry an Indian man to guarantee her future. Mala is determined to finish her studies and doesn’t want an arranged marriage anytime soon. This book is beautifully written and I loved the mother/daughter connections. I also loved that this Canadian author based this book in Canada and it was so interesting to see the blend of the Indian/Canadian culture. Thank you to the author and Harper Collins Canada for this free review copy.

[Madi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unputdownable! I loved this absolutely stunning, beautifully-written novel about expectations, secrets, and family. Told as two intersecting storylines, Secret Lives of Mothers and Daughters had me hooked from page 1 with its gorgeous prose, heartbreaking love story, and complex, compelling characters and relationships. Anita Kushwaha explores motherhood, the Indian-American experience, love, grief, and what it means to be a family in a way that reminded me of Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng. As an Indian-American and a mother, so much of this book resonated with me and rang so true. I can't recommend this book enough!

[Elizabeth Ann Besa-Quirino · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful story of 3 women- mothers and daughters whose lives are woven together seamlessly by love, family and society’s expectations.
I was drawn to the realization that in every generation, often, women’s feelings are overlooked and put aside for sacrifices they have to make, to make everyone happy. Author Anita Kushwaha eloquently puts in words how 3 women, of different ages, cope with the traditional roles their cultures expect of them. This novel was poignant and mesmerizing. I couldn’t put it down. I wanted to know how the story would end, yet, I didn’t want the book to end.

[Meg · Rating 1 out of 5]

What's with books these days jumping back and forth through time with no warning? This book lacks any sense of magnetism that would compel its readers to pick it up once more. The characters are bland and boring, their problems unrelatable and yet entirely predictable at the same time. Found this such a snore, I barely made it to the big reveal. Of course, anyone who didn't see THAT coming really must have been bored to sleep.

[Jim Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent story, and well told. 5 stars!

[Enid Wray · Rating 3 out of 5]

As the title says, this is a novel all about secrets - and harm that comes from keeping them. The fact of multiple secrets - across generations - creates layers of mystery, but, the author lets the reader in on it quite early on. Granted perhaps not every reader will twig to it, but, for me or anyone else who does, it eliminated the sense of intrigue or mystery that had been keeping me reading.

While the novel does do a good job of exploring the cultural tensions and myriad of issues (sudden death, unplanned pregnancies, mental health, gender identity) that push and pull the characters, overall it was just a little too melodramatic, and conveniently coincidental, for my tastes. And the happy ending? It just felt like it was all tidied up too neatly, too quickly. Life is messy. And I don’t mind being left hanging just a little bit.

3.5

[Shannon (The Book Club Mom) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novel really took me by surprise, and completely knocked my socks off. It honestly had all of my favorite things: multiple perspectives, motherhood, marriage, family drama, secrets, complex mother/daughter relationships, and SO many wonderful layers, little surprises, and fantastic twists along the way. I especially loved that it was set in Canada, and immersed in Canadian culture, as well as Indian culture, traditions, and expectations. I didn’t want this book to end, as I was completely absorbed in the lives of these three women. 4/5 solid stars for Secret Lives of Mothers and Daughters! Highly recommend!

[Mesh Miles · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was unable to finish this book. It was long & drawn out. I didn’t like the way the author jumped from story to story. There were too many characters to follow. I feel like I know where the book is headed; the teenager who is adopted is likely the college kids child.

Reading this felt like I was in school & forced to read a book for an assignment. It wasn’t interesting to me.

[Aarthy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

The book starts of a little slow and disconnected at first, but the story ties in together very well. It is strikingly very similar to Shilpi Somay's flow of books. The story follows the saga of a family through generations and how they are tied together. I can see why it's rated highly and believe it will do well. I just did not connect with the characters as well as I hoped.

I do recommend this read and love that it's a fellow Canadian author 🇨🇦

[Karolyn Feichtenbiner · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book wayyy more than I thought I would. I have read a lot of mother daughter conflict trope books recently, and I thought I might be over it. That was not the case. I thought the stories were honest and real. There were also a few plot twists and I ended up reading this book a lot quicker than I anticipated. I like how the book was formatted between the two stories and appreciated the chapter name which I don't usually pay attention to.

[Pinky · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great read

From the moment I started reading this book to the very end, there isn't one part that I could say that didn't keep me interested.
Follows the main character ASHA on her journey after being told she was adopted, lots of twists and surprises to the very end.
Loved how the ending left no cliff hangers.
A must read.