Are we still allowed to laugh? Seriously.
Because if we ARE still allowed to laugh, you should buy this book. And if we aren't, then you shouldn't. I'm no longer sure myself because while it SEEMS like a "humor" book to me and I laughed a lot while I read it, the people who are marketing it take it VERY seriously.
When I bought it, there was a tag beside it that read, "#1 New Release in Medical Psychology Pathologies." Maybe that one didn't grab people, because NOW the banner reads, "#1 Best Seller in Anxieties and Phobias." Is this a promotion or a "lateral move." Honestly, I haven't a clue.
The book is funny. It's the first one I've read by this author, but apparently she's written other books and has a large following. I'm always the last dog hung, but that's the beauty of of good humor writing. It's just as funny if you read it a decade later than if you grab it off the NY Times Best Seller list.
Several things struck me about this book. First, the torch has been passed and it's about time. For decades, we Baby Boomers were in charge of boring everyone one with stories about how PERFECT everything was in the 1940's and 50's. We keep our front doors unlocked. We ate what we wanted. We said stuff without worrying that someone would call the police on us for hurting their feelings. You know, the "Good Old Days."
Now this author (a Gen-Xer) is writing about how PERFECT things were when she was growing up in the 1980's. Unlocked front doors, white bread with pseudo-cheese slices, and free-range children. What just happened here? Has the generation that I'm still thinking about as "the young folks" gotten old? She calls herself a dinosaur, so what does that make me? Fossil fuel?
Furthermore, after years of rolling her eyes about Millennials, she took a comedy class and met some. Now she's gone all broody about them and thinks they're great young people and need to be encouraged. Exactly the way I am with Gen-Xers. This woman has no children, but she sounds positively motherly when she talks about her Millenial friends. Is maternalism hard-wired into females? Are those of us who are happily child-free destined to eventually "adopt" the next generation and nurture them?
I found some common points with this author, but some of her anxiety-inducing problems made me shrug - like social media. I don't DO social media and never have. This woman immersed herself early on in social media and assumes everyone else has, too. Much of the book is devoted to how social media feeds the anxiety she assumes we all have.
After much hand-wringing, she decides that social media is just a TOOL and it's up to us to use it wisely. The possibility of not using it at all isn't ever mentioned. I have a post-hole digger in the basement and the only time I ever touch it is when I move it to sweep. To me, THAT is "wise use of a tool."
I do have to wonder why a woman with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder - which means she agonizes about EVERYTHING) picked a career that's so high-pressure. She describes the stress of deadlines and book promotion tours. There ARE careers that are calmer, but maybe she enjoys her anxiety. Maybe she's actually proud of it.
It's not that she doesn't tackle some tough topics in this book, because she does. For example, she's concerned (as who isn't?) about mass shootings in America. She makes a vague case that this horrible phenomenon is somehow tied in with the rise of the Khardasians. Gun sales soared when Obama was elected and the Khardasian family became media idols. Her point (I think) is that watching them made young people believe that all that counts in life is being famous and that bad behavior is the quickest way to fame.
I have NO desire to defend the Khardasians, but the Rolling Stones rose to fame using the same technique. Bad Boys get more attention and (in show business) attention is money. They made it work, but it didn't set off a chain of mass shootings. And previous generations had famous people who were mainly famous for being shocking. Clearly, there's got to be more to the problem.
Then there's ecology, a source of worry to most of us which gets worse the more we know. Can we feel proud of "recycling" our used electronics now that we know they go to Third World countries and pollute the soil and water there? Are he helping the earth or only ourselves? How much good are good intentions?
I learned some stuff, like the acronym (probably very old) FOMO - fear of missing out. The author freely admits that much of her anxiety is tied to her unrelenting FOMO, but doesn't know what she can do about it. I learned that the male equivalent of a "Karen" is a "Kevin." Not sure how useful this information will be to me, but now I know.
She's a strange mixture of gloom and devil-may-care. She quotes every "scientific study" that's been done in the last twenty years as proof of our national anxiety, while freely admitting that some of those "studies" involved ten people in some country I can't pronounce and couldn't find on a globe. The last 15% of the book is given over to a "Notes" section in which she lists all the studies and gives links to them. Is she REALLY expecting us to take all this seriously enough to check them out or is she simply showing us that she's done her homework?
On the other hand, I was won over when she came to the top of Maslow's Pyramid of Human Needs: Self-Actualization. I had already decided to skip that one, having no patience for what my parents' generation referred to scornfully as "navel-gazing." So I was completely charmed when the author skipped it, too. She has a sense of humor along with her anxieties. Maybe that's what's kept her going.
I enjoyed this book. This author does what Mark Twain and James Thurber and Will Rogers did in previous generations - makes fun of stuff we don't like, but don't know what to do about. She's sensible enough to realize that many things are much better than they were in the past. So why are we so anxious? Well, some of us are more anxious than others, so there's that. And it's an election year and Americans tend to go a little crazy (OK, a LOT crazy) during election years. And then there's this pandemic thing and the economy has tanked (unless you're have $10 million-worth of stocks, in which case, you're FINE.)
Sadly, it's human nature to take prosperity for granted and to dwell on what doesn't suit us. There's no cure for that except to remind yourself to be grateful for your blessings. This author does that and I like her for it. She doesn't give us the Secret of the Pyramids, but she has found an easy way to make life a little better. Smile. Be patient with people. Over-tip those who work hard and don't make much. Maybe if enough of us try to be decent human beings, we can feel better about ourselves. And maybe feeling better about ourselves will make us calmer and more optimistic and less anxious. It's worth a try, isn't it?
She's a likable woman, as well as an intelligent person and a very funny writer. Now that I've discovered her, I'll be reading more of her books. I don't know about you, but I need all the laughs I can get.