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More Than a Sex Surrogate: A Unique Memoir About Intimacy, Secrets and The Way We Love
Lilly, a woman in her late forties, lives a double life. In one of them, known to everyone, she teaches design in high school and leads an ordinary life, raising her two children. In the other one, hidden from people’s eyes, she is a professional surrogate who helps men solve their sexual problems.
In this book, Lilly shares her insights on this complicated, thorough and lengthy therapeutic process, from the first coffee she has with her patient until she has full sexual intercourse, up to the ending of this unique relationship. Every patient has a story, and each one of them suffers from different problems, but they all have one common denominator—they are incapable of intimacy with a woman, and Lilly’s job is to help set them free.
In this book, Lilly shares her insights on this complicated, thorough and lengthy therapeutic process, from the first coffee she has with her patient until she has full sexual intercourse, up to the ending of this unique relationship. Every patient has a story, and each one of them suffers from different problems, but they all have one common denominator—they are incapable of intimacy with a woman, and Lilly’s job is to help set them free.
280 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 13, 2019
160 people are currently reading
78 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
June 23, 2021
The work of a sex surrogate is directed by a sex therapist. Men who were sexually dysfuntional, most often virgins unable to have relationships would go to the therapist who would direct and collaborate with the surrogate on the treatment, the sexual steps needed and the success or otherwise of each one.
Very early on in the book, the author, a woman in her 40s for whom this is a spare time job, says, "The primary emotion that leads me is motherly compassion. When I had just started, I was concerned whether that bordered on perversion. After all, it is sexual therapy, but no. This is what he needs—compassion, which is not like what “they” might think. Not sexual thrills, not money, but compassion.
But then, after having got through kissing and caressing as far as mutual masturbation with a client - Henry, she says "There it stopped. The money ran out, and so did the meetings." And, "I forced myself to remember that each meeting cost him a lot of money." And "As if he had arranged a script for himself as a victim that proved, once and for all, that he didn’t deserve being a whole man, Henry accepted the verdict with defeat, and I knew that he could allow for a few more meetings." Victim-blaming.
So does her compassion "allow a few more meetings "with Henry who can't afford any more therapy? Nope. It's him, if he really wanted therapy he would find the money wouldn't he? Therapy is part of the American medical system, a business first and foremost. That's when I went right off the author.
If you think talk about sex is icky, or TMI, then skip this,
The structure of the book was beyond annoying. There were the therapy sessions (interesting), talking to other surrogates in the kitchen (boring), her relationships and other miscellanea (confusing). A concentration on the therapy and her relationships with her patients would have been more to the point and probably a much better book.
The writing which sometimes seemed stream of consciousness, other times reportage and still others plain silly, but I can see that some people might enjoy it, this is just my personal opinion, but an example. The author is in bed with a patient and they have been drinking wine, "I allowed myself to float into futile fantasies (in which I sin often), lowered barriers, painted pictures of distant lands, kissed Apollo's lips. We abandoned the Australian shores and there were no kangaroos seen on the horizon." That drunk eh?
I don't want to diss her work, nor her as a person, it's just that this was not, to me, a good book, but with a really strict editor, it might have been a much better one. I hope the author goes on writing though, because I think somewhere in her there is a good book, but not necessarily about this subject.
Very early on in the book, the author, a woman in her 40s for whom this is a spare time job, says, "The primary emotion that leads me is motherly compassion. When I had just started, I was concerned whether that bordered on perversion. After all, it is sexual therapy, but no. This is what he needs—compassion, which is not like what “they” might think. Not sexual thrills, not money, but compassion.
But then, after having got through kissing and caressing as far as mutual masturbation with a client - Henry, she says "There it stopped. The money ran out, and so did the meetings." And, "I forced myself to remember that each meeting cost him a lot of money." And "As if he had arranged a script for himself as a victim that proved, once and for all, that he didn’t deserve being a whole man, Henry accepted the verdict with defeat, and I knew that he could allow for a few more meetings." Victim-blaming.
So does her compassion "allow a few more meetings "with Henry who can't afford any more therapy? Nope. It's him, if he really wanted therapy he would find the money wouldn't he? Therapy is part of the American medical system, a business first and foremost. That's when I went right off the author.
If you think talk about sex is icky, or TMI, then skip this,
The structure of the book was beyond annoying. There were the therapy sessions (interesting), talking to other surrogates in the kitchen (boring), her relationships and other miscellanea (confusing). A concentration on the therapy and her relationships with her patients would have been more to the point and probably a much better book.
The writing which sometimes seemed stream of consciousness, other times reportage and still others plain silly, but I can see that some people might enjoy it, this is just my personal opinion, but an example. The author is in bed with a patient and they have been drinking wine, "I allowed myself to float into futile fantasies (in which I sin often), lowered barriers, painted pictures of distant lands, kissed Apollo's lips. We abandoned the Australian shores and there were no kangaroos seen on the horizon." That drunk eh?
I don't want to diss her work, nor her as a person, it's just that this was not, to me, a good book, but with a really strict editor, it might have been a much better one. I hope the author goes on writing though, because I think somewhere in her there is a good book, but not necessarily about this subject.
November 12, 2019
this was not my genre of choice to be honest but it was well written and actually very interesting. i was suprised that i enjoyed reading it. it was different and interesting and kept me interested so i liked it..
June 1, 2020
Is This A Real Job?
This was not proofread at all.
The book starts off tell us about her clients, their problem and how she helps them. Then it abruptly starts talking about her relationship. Just not written well, in my opinion.
This was not proofread at all.
The book starts off tell us about her clients, their problem and how she helps them. Then it abruptly starts talking about her relationship. Just not written well, in my opinion.
April 3, 2021
A Disjointed, Incoherent Mess
This is probably the most incoherent book I have ever read. Its not really a book, it is a series of disjointed thoughts and scenes. Most of which make little sense. An editor and a ghostwriter should've been used. The author notes a variety of emotions. There is endless tea drinking, chocolate eating and snips of advice. If you are expecting a sexy and titillating memoir, this is not it. The author tries to describe points of her life and it comes out like an art house film that makes little sense. The only portion that I could follow is progress with a patient, since we got whole sentences that actually made sense some of the time. In between are snips of comments from work that are so short, you don't know where they fit in half the time. The last chapter called Mario, is a disjointed mess. If you enjoy flowery writing than this book is for you. I prefer coherent sentences and thoughts that the reader doesn't have to waste time trying to figure out. I read this book using immersion reading while listening to the audio book. The narrator could do little to make sense of this mess. A waste of time.
There is a romance book written by Jessica Garcia la called the Surrogate that explores this subject and gives a good deal of information about the field of study and what it entails, besides being an erotic romance. Read that instead. I'm hoping the other book by Cheryl Greene (who Helen Hunt portrayed) is much better.
This is probably the most incoherent book I have ever read. Its not really a book, it is a series of disjointed thoughts and scenes. Most of which make little sense. An editor and a ghostwriter should've been used. The author notes a variety of emotions. There is endless tea drinking, chocolate eating and snips of advice. If you are expecting a sexy and titillating memoir, this is not it. The author tries to describe points of her life and it comes out like an art house film that makes little sense. The only portion that I could follow is progress with a patient, since we got whole sentences that actually made sense some of the time. In between are snips of comments from work that are so short, you don't know where they fit in half the time. The last chapter called Mario, is a disjointed mess. If you enjoy flowery writing than this book is for you. I prefer coherent sentences and thoughts that the reader doesn't have to waste time trying to figure out. I read this book using immersion reading while listening to the audio book. The narrator could do little to make sense of this mess. A waste of time.
There is a romance book written by Jessica Garcia la called the Surrogate that explores this subject and gives a good deal of information about the field of study and what it entails, besides being an erotic romance. Read that instead. I'm hoping the other book by Cheryl Greene (who Helen Hunt portrayed) is much better.
December 19, 2019
I felt the beginning of this book was much stronger than the middle to the ending. I was very much interested in all the interactions of the main character as a sex surrogate, but then it morphed into more of a love story centered around Mario, which was more like unrequited love or "scent of a man". This became disappointing as the central topic was very compelling. The writing was very lyrical at times and the imagery used innovative, however the whole manuscript could have used an editor. On the Kindle Version there were constant underlines that didn't make sense. Enjoyable but developmental.
September 19, 2024
Help me, I lost brain cells with this one. Supposedly this is a real sw’er memoir and I really, really want to respect it as such. However, it’s a poorly structured, overly smutty and not in a hot or interesting way, account of one woman’s time as a sex surrogate - a woman that helps men get over their sexual anxieties through therapeutic fuckery. Sounds legit right? Except it’s just so hard to take seriously because it reads as someone’s wattpad fantasy of what they want sw and sw’ers to be. And then she abandons the sw story in the last quarter to devolve into a largely unrelated account of her relationship with some guy. As a sw’er, I say it reads v unrealistically. I want to give it the benefit of the doubt but if it is true the author’s editor truly failed her.
August 19, 2021
The book is more about self confidence though sex plays a part. Its a great book to read to get a better way of thinking about people and things.
Unfortunately outside of the writing about finding the good in everyone i found it incredibly hard to follow since the writer the patient and the referring therapist seemed to join in on sessions (when they werent even there)
May 27, 2020
More than a sex surrogate
A good read for people who are in to the series recommend highly can't wait for the next one of the series a really enjoyable read but quick shaping up to be a enjoyable series must read the next one of the series
A good read for people who are in to the series recommend highly can't wait for the next one of the series a really enjoyable read but quick shaping up to be a enjoyable series must read the next one of the series
May 5, 2021
This book was hard to follow sometimes and had some typos. It could stand to lose a few chapters like the kitchen conversations becasue I didn't really find they adding anything to the story. The Mario chapter was by far the best and most interesting part of this whole book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 3, 2020
I liked it until the last long chapter.
December 19, 2020
Interesting
Nice bio. I wanted a better idea of what was done in the sessions. Lovely images of Greece. Second part of the story was better.
Nice bio. I wanted a better idea of what was done in the sessions. Lovely images of Greece. Second part of the story was better.
August 20, 2024
Fascinating Read
Great character development, story line and arc. A thought provoking scenario of complicated relationships we all experience throughout our life.
Great character development, story line and arc. A thought provoking scenario of complicated relationships we all experience throughout our life.
Read
September 29, 2019‘Encounters of the fifth kind – a blend of intimacy, anxiety, pleasure, alienation’
Author ‘Seraphina E. Arden’ is the alias used to share this very illuminating account of sex surrogate work. She is a creative artist with a Masters degree in Theater, works in the field of Creative Education, a life coach, a mother and practices daily spiritual work.
In the foreword the author explains her reason for writing this book – ‘A woman is writing, hiding behind her book’s heroine, who hides behind her soul’s heroine: Seraphina behind Lilly, behind Emma. Emma is the real heroine, but her name is fictitious. The stories in the book are all based on true cases that were distanced from their proprietors. I, the author of the book, know them well and believe them; I so believe them that as I write, tears run down form my eyes as if this is happening now, entrenching a clear path within me. This book is dedicated to people, all people. It is dedicated to human potential, to “yes” instead of “no.” It is dedicated to the hidden, the hesitant, and the daring. This book is dedicated to believers…’
Having created the tenor of intent of the book, the story opens with an amusing moment of choice for the underwear of the day for Lilly who admits, ‘I’ve always been drawn to the underworld, forbidden, controversial things, or ones that set other things ablaze…I am a surrogate, a woman who accompanies men of all shapes and shades, all difficulties and anguish, in journeys from sexual dysfunction to complete functionality, from sitting in a café to lying in bed, from coffee to sex. Both can be great or fine, but less than that is unacceptable. My name is Lilly, and Emma is my alias. This fabrication keeps me and the patient safe from all harm. Personal biographical details never helps relations.’
With this degree of skillful writing the story proceeds, as the synopsis outlines – ‘Lilly, a woman in her late forties, lives a double life. In one of them, known to everyone, she teaches design in high school and leads an ordinary life, raising her two children. In the other one, hidden from people’s eyes, she is a professional surrogate who helps men solve their sexual problems. For the first time, she shares her insights on this complicated, thorough and lengthy therapeutic process, from the first coffee she has with her patient until she has full sexual intercourse, up to the ending of this unique relationship. Through the personal story of David, one of the patients, she provides a rare glimpse into the various stages, presented through true stories straight from her intriguing therapy room. Every patient has a story, and each one of them suffers from different problems, but they all have one common denominator—they are incapable of intimacy with a woman, and Lilly’s job is to help set them free.’
This is an excellent book, written with impressive skill, and one that opens windows to a need that very much benefits from addressing – a story both entertaining and informative and compassionate. Highly recommended.
Author ‘Seraphina E. Arden’ is the alias used to share this very illuminating account of sex surrogate work. She is a creative artist with a Masters degree in Theater, works in the field of Creative Education, a life coach, a mother and practices daily spiritual work.
In the foreword the author explains her reason for writing this book – ‘A woman is writing, hiding behind her book’s heroine, who hides behind her soul’s heroine: Seraphina behind Lilly, behind Emma. Emma is the real heroine, but her name is fictitious. The stories in the book are all based on true cases that were distanced from their proprietors. I, the author of the book, know them well and believe them; I so believe them that as I write, tears run down form my eyes as if this is happening now, entrenching a clear path within me. This book is dedicated to people, all people. It is dedicated to human potential, to “yes” instead of “no.” It is dedicated to the hidden, the hesitant, and the daring. This book is dedicated to believers…’
Having created the tenor of intent of the book, the story opens with an amusing moment of choice for the underwear of the day for Lilly who admits, ‘I’ve always been drawn to the underworld, forbidden, controversial things, or ones that set other things ablaze…I am a surrogate, a woman who accompanies men of all shapes and shades, all difficulties and anguish, in journeys from sexual dysfunction to complete functionality, from sitting in a café to lying in bed, from coffee to sex. Both can be great or fine, but less than that is unacceptable. My name is Lilly, and Emma is my alias. This fabrication keeps me and the patient safe from all harm. Personal biographical details never helps relations.’
With this degree of skillful writing the story proceeds, as the synopsis outlines – ‘Lilly, a woman in her late forties, lives a double life. In one of them, known to everyone, she teaches design in high school and leads an ordinary life, raising her two children. In the other one, hidden from people’s eyes, she is a professional surrogate who helps men solve their sexual problems. For the first time, she shares her insights on this complicated, thorough and lengthy therapeutic process, from the first coffee she has with her patient until she has full sexual intercourse, up to the ending of this unique relationship. Through the personal story of David, one of the patients, she provides a rare glimpse into the various stages, presented through true stories straight from her intriguing therapy room. Every patient has a story, and each one of them suffers from different problems, but they all have one common denominator—they are incapable of intimacy with a woman, and Lilly’s job is to help set them free.’
This is an excellent book, written with impressive skill, and one that opens windows to a need that very much benefits from addressing – a story both entertaining and informative and compassionate. Highly recommended.
January 3, 2021
Boring
The description of the book peaked my my interest but I was disappointed. Somehow Seraphina did not make it interesting. Her relationship with Mario added nothing to the book. It was a waste of my time.
The description of the book peaked my my interest but I was disappointed. Somehow Seraphina did not make it interesting. Her relationship with Mario added nothing to the book. It was a waste of my time.
October 30, 2019
First, I want to thank Seraphina E. Arden for providing me with this book so I may bring you this review.
More than a Sex Surrogate by Seraphina E. Arden is a very unique memoir about intimacy, secrets ad the way we love. This was unlike any memoir I had ever read before and found it very fascinating on many different levels. Never did I know this career existed until I read her book. However, Seraphina has made differences in many lives with what she does.
Many aspects of this cover caught my eye. You can’t help notice a picture of a beautiful of a woman on the cover. If that does not grab your attention then the title sure will-More Than A Sex Surrogate. Not to mention the author’s beautiful an unique name Seraphina Arden. For me just seeing the cover I was very curious to see what this was all about.
There are stories that are told in this book that are based on true cases. They make for amazing reading.
Seraphina dedicates this book all the hidden, hesitant, and the daring people. It is also dedicated to the believers.
I was incredibly fascinated by her story as she went by Lilly and Emma as her alias. She explains in the book how she got started in this line of work. How she accompanies men of all shapes and shades, in journeys from sexual dysfunction to complete functionality. She also goes into explaining the reporting process that goes with it too.
What is interesting is it is not just perversion for sexual therapy. Like many might think. It is the opposite of what the men need. They need the compassion, the sensuality, the excitement, touch, and intimacy, etc.
There was one story she shared that I thought was very interesting. She had a client called Jack who was just out of an organized very closed religion community. He had never seen a woman naked needles to say had any sexual relations with one. He had no clue where to begin. This was all new to him and he was very nervous. She was very patient with him teaching him. It lead him into a sexual awakening that he wouldn’t have had without her help.
More than a Sex Surrogate by Seraphina E. Arden is a very unique memoir about intimacy, secrets ad the way we love. This was unlike any memoir I had ever read before and found it very fascinating on many different levels. Never did I know this career existed until I read her book. However, Seraphina has made differences in many lives with what she does.
Many aspects of this cover caught my eye. You can’t help notice a picture of a beautiful of a woman on the cover. If that does not grab your attention then the title sure will-More Than A Sex Surrogate. Not to mention the author’s beautiful an unique name Seraphina Arden. For me just seeing the cover I was very curious to see what this was all about.
There are stories that are told in this book that are based on true cases. They make for amazing reading.
Seraphina dedicates this book all the hidden, hesitant, and the daring people. It is also dedicated to the believers.
I was incredibly fascinated by her story as she went by Lilly and Emma as her alias. She explains in the book how she got started in this line of work. How she accompanies men of all shapes and shades, in journeys from sexual dysfunction to complete functionality. She also goes into explaining the reporting process that goes with it too.
What is interesting is it is not just perversion for sexual therapy. Like many might think. It is the opposite of what the men need. They need the compassion, the sensuality, the excitement, touch, and intimacy, etc.
There was one story she shared that I thought was very interesting. She had a client called Jack who was just out of an organized very closed religion community. He had never seen a woman naked needles to say had any sexual relations with one. He had no clue where to begin. This was all new to him and he was very nervous. She was very patient with him teaching him. It lead him into a sexual awakening that he wouldn’t have had without her help.
November 17, 2019
Ugh where to start. I was confused on page one. Got over to chapter three was still confused as to what I started reading and what the heck was going on. This is literally the first time I am not going to finish reading a book. Sorry, but not for me.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews