Compassionate Conversations: How to Speak and Listen from the Heart

by Diane Musho Hamilton, Gabriel Menegale Wilson, Kimberly Loh

The definitive guide to learning effective skills for engaging in open and honest conversations about divisive issues from three professional mediators.

When a conversation takes a turn into the sometimes uncomfortable and often contentious topics of race, religion, gender, sexuality, and politics, it can be difficult to know what to say or how to respond to someone you disagree with. Compassionate Conversations empowers us to transform these conversations into opportunities to bridge divides and mend relationships by providing the basic set of conflict resolution skills we need to be successful, including listening, reframing, and dealing with strong emotions. Addressing the long history of injury and pain for marginalized groups, the authors explore topics like social privilege, power dynamics, and, political correctness allowing us to be more mindful in our conversations. Each chapter contains practices and reflection questions to help readers feel more prepared to talk through polarizing issues, ultimately encouraging us to take risks, to understand and recognize our deep commonalities, to be willing to make mistakes, and to become more intimate with expressing our truths, as well as listening to those of others.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Communication, Relationships, Personal Development, Buddhism, Spirituality

240 pages, Paperback

Published July 21, 2020

About the author

DIANE MUSHO HAMILTON is an award-winning professional mediator, author, and teacher of Zen meditation. She has been a practitioner of meditation for more than 35 years and is a lineage holder in the Soto Zen tradition.

She is the Executive Director of Two Arrows Zen, a practice in Utah, and offers training programs oriented to personal development and advanced facilitator skills.

Diane is the author of Everything Is Workable and The Zen of You and Me. Her latest book is Compassionate Conversations: How to Speak and Listen from the Heart, co-authored with Gabriel Wilson and Kimberly Loh.

http://www.dianemushohamilton.com
http://www.twoarrowszen.org
email: admin@dianemushohamilton.com

Reviews

[Genevieve Grace]

I thought this would be a book on how to have meaningful conversations that someone desperately socially awkward, like myself, could use to improve on that weakness. Instead, it is a Buddhist guide to activist communication and mediation. That's my bad. I don't intend to sink this book's rating immediately because of my preconceived expectations, so I won't be rating it at this time.

[Barb Cherem · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'll be facilitating a book discussion among Osher seniors this next fall on this book as I found it very instructive along many dimensions. It may even be the start of helping folks to heal the divides among them. It carries many topics in its 20 chapters of only 200 pages. Everything from PC, conflict resolution, and bias to atonement and whole-heartedness. Its three authors are varied in their backgrounds ages and experiences which enriches the book with many examples of the chapter's main point. I found them a credible bunch with great abilities to make these varied themes relevant. Highly recommend even though not an easy read; it is a book that can be savored chapter by chapter over an extended period.

[Nam Pham · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a good introduction to the mindset and the skills that follow to help us all navigate the challenging landscapes of an integrated world. Being a collection of experiences from different cultural and intersectional perspectives, which is a rare and celebratory opportunity, the book captures examples that can relate to each of us. It is not entirely new but the real accounts of the authors’s experiences in facilitating dialogues are thought-provoking for a facilitator that works in intercultural setting like myself.

[Teri · Rating 4 out of 5]

It has taken me awhile to review this book as it has taken me awhile to read it. Not that it isn’t a good book, but it is one that requires time to cogitate on each bite. Every section ends with a practice. I confess that while I read the questions, I did not put answers to paper. I plan to come back to this book and utilize the practices in the future. Topics in the book include: how to listen, conflict, letting go of ego, privilege, trauma, resilience, and much more. All of these affect our conversations. I believe this book would be a good read for a group that wants to carefully parse and discuss the sections over 6-8 weeks. Thanks to NetGalley for a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for my honest review.

[(a)lyss(a) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a copy of this book through the Amazon Vine program in exchange for an honest review.

This book was around 3.5 stars for me.

This book focuses on zen and a Buddhist perspective when it comes to having conversations. The book acknowledges that marginalized groups often have much more negative experiences than non-marginalized groups and has advice on how to be a thoughtful listener and participate in a conversation to learn. There's examples of conversations and where being vulnerable with people to find commonalities people understand each other better.

Overall it's an interesting book but felt a little too high level for me.

[Jennifer Hubbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Compassionate Conversations: How to speak and listen from the heart has armed me with the knowledge and ground rules to apply when having difficult conversations. This book is full of a variety of different perspectives. I really appreciate how there are three authors with different backgrounds who come together to share both the similarities and the differences and how they managed those situations. I believe this book is something that realistically everyone could gain something from, as we as humans need to continue to learn how to communicate as we evolve.

[Cristie Underwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a timely read, as so many of us have lost our ability to communicate in a kind manner due to the political climate in our country at this time. The authors of this book have some really great ideas that I cannot wait to utilize the next time I am in a conversation with someone that has differing views than myself.

[Fabiana · Rating 5 out of 5]

An essential book to deal with polarization times, an antidote to fanatism. A source of inspiration for those, like me, who are willing to try new ways of being together. Compassionate conversation is a path for deep healing. A must-to-read book. Amazing!!

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

{3.5}

[Camille Pum · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book in the giveaway! I took a lot from the advice Diane Hamilton gives in Compassionate Conversations.

[Claire Bassetti · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had to read for academic purposes and was actually very interested in this reading and the questions it asks you at the end of every chapter.

[Ahmad · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read for everyone in this day and age.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my goodness this book takes conversations to the next level. If anyone wants to be better at communicating and to have deeper conversations this is the book.

[Livré Let · Rating 3 out of 5]

I also thought it was for someone who is socially awkward

[Justin]

It's structure did not resonate with me

[Shane Ambro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worth the read with philosophical and practical tips for engaging self and others.