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Overcome: A Memoir Of Abuse, Addiction, Sex Work, and Recovery

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From an early age, Amber van de Bunt knew she wasn’t like the other girls in town. From childhood struggles with depression and eating disorders, her years as a topless dancer in Florida, and an eventual abortion and suicide attempt, to her rebirth in Los Angeles as a porn star named Karmen Karma, overcoming her relationship with her abusive mother, and her struggle to maintain a clean and sober lifestyle―van de Bunt’s life has been a wild rollercoaster. With humor, alacrity, and profound insight, she reveals her deepest, darkest secrets and pulls no punches―least of all with herself.

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Published July 9, 2019

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Amber van de Bunt

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5 stars
201 (34%)
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209 (35%)
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137 (23%)
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32 (5%)
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10 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews
Profile Image for Nina (ninjasbooks).
1,596 reviews1,689 followers
March 17, 2024
Don’t read this if sexual language and descriptions makes you uncomfortable. It’s hard to rate it. I think the author was very honest and that was refreshing. I also knew nothing about the porn industry, so that was interesting. But I found the writing repetitive, saying the same thing several times. I also wish the author had reflected more and showed some regret for her actions, especially when she described how she drove under the influence several times. Not once did she say, I regret doing that, it could have had dire consequences for others.
Profile Image for Miss Envy.
7 reviews1 follower
August 16, 2019
It’s ok to love sex and be a Mom at the same time. It’s ok to marry the love of your life and still have a career as a sex worker. It’s ok to follow your dreams, even if they are to be a porn star. It’s ok to not be ok, as long as you find the power to overcome.
Profile Image for Sean.
42 reviews
July 20, 2019
A very honest and deeply personal memoir. Sometimes shocking, tragic but audacious all the same. Its easy to empathize with her through her struggles with drugs and abusive relationships. She went through a lot of stuff and you really root for her at the end when she finally found a way to overcome all of the adversity she went through in life. Her greatest revenge was becoming successful. The book ends on an optimistic note.
Profile Image for NormaCenva.
1,157 reviews86 followers
October 10, 2021
The topics discussed in this book are VERY important. And it is good to see how sex-positive the author is! It was not always a pleasant read but it was a necessary one. Recommended!
Profile Image for KillerBunny.
269 reviews158 followers
October 16, 2023
Love can really change a person. I'm very happy Amber is in a better place now. I loved the ending when her husband talk about their relationship.
Profile Image for Cynthia Frongia.
213 reviews
April 25, 2024
Oh man, this book was disappointing. I actually found out about Amber from tiktok. She happened to come across my FYP and I saw a couple comments on the video raving about her book. Then decided to read it. It just made me think the author is a crappy person. She constantly treated people terribly throughout the book and blamed it on her mommy issues rather than working on herself. It sucks to be dealt a crappy hand but I don't think that should become the basis for the rest of your life. At some point, especially when you are a full grown adult you need to move on from it and start making decisions based on you, not on how your mother treated you. Also just shows that the stuff written about and by Alex were total bs. They are divorced now and it was nasty. Do not recommend.
Profile Image for Paige Johnson.
Author 53 books74 followers
March 1, 2023
A must-read memoir of a stripper turned porn star. She wanted to be a SWer as soon as she turned 18, eager to get out of no-scene Michigan. Before she’s legal, she web cams, getting off on the tabooness and hundreds of dollars for “doing nothing.” Once her dad barges in on a bedroom show after a viewer calls the house, taunting him about what’s up. Her relationship is actually decent w/ her dad minus this—she hates her insane, estranged mom who’s always threatened to k!ll her. Yet she’s the only way Karmen knows to jumpstart her dreams as a Pensacola stripper and party it up. So she moves in w/ her.

She’s always been sexual, before her girl friends at 7 suggest they fondle each other, take nudes and drawings of each other. In middle school, she lets boys grope her because she loves attention and brags to the girls she’s had sex even though she doesn’t until years later w/ a committed boyfriend. Well, more committed than him since she cheats and helps other dudes do so right away. She’s out for the general attention, because she doesn’t like the way guys look naked since an older cousin exposed himself to her in a half-blocked memory.

The club she works is called Infinity Island, w/ many regulations like wearing T-backs (bigger G-strings that ensure there’s no flashing) and tipping out the rest of bar and security like a waitress. There, she’s relentlessly harassed by Ryan, a thuggy Filipino. Unable to put him off any longer and at least finding him good-looking, she lets him have his way w/ her. It’s not long before he invites his friend to join in. Embarrassed by how small he is by comparison, Ryan punches Karmen for enjoying someone else even though it was his idea.

She gets pregnant from this. She wants to have the baby but Ryan is so threatening, she can’t—besides her blackout drinking and smoking. The abortionist is rough and rude, just wanting to get on to the next patient. Karmen is filled w/ double the dread, horrified seeing him throw the corpse away and the cruel slam of the trash lid. Worse yet, suddenly Ryan changes his tune, wishing as usual she didn’t do what he MADE her do. The only thing that blots away her depression from this is cocaine. She tries to have a few hookups aside from Ryan but he always finds out and beats them up. Young Tyler is not phased by his hospital visit, willing to become Karmen’s Clyde. Couch-surfing trap houses and blowing through the bags of blow they “re-rock” (make it look pure as though chipped off a kilo when it’s really just mixed w/ water and frozen), they are wired and paranoid. When they’re not breaking into her friends’ sugar daddies places, they live out of her hot car, subsisting on box ramen and McNuggets. After Tyler’s a day late on a real dealer’s money, his life on the line, so they go their separate ways to recoup before they wind up jailed or dead.

Unable to deal w/ her spiral, Karmen chugs sleeping pills, saved by the latest guy she’s using for molly money and a bed. Her dad helps her get back on Prozac and she decides she needs a new distraction so tries out for Burning Angel, erotica writer JoAnna White’s porn site, since she’s tattooed. This section has insight into how “pop shots” can be faked and the “glam” Karmen enjoyed on set w/ professional stylists to dye her hair hot pink, do her makeup, and clap w/ the cam crew at the end. Despite this high, it takes Ryan sending her a vid of her passed out w/ two guys screwing her unconscious body for her to leave him after years. Later, she heads to LA for a more serious stint but, even w/ an agent, she’s surrounded by predators to drive, film, and live w/ her in “model houses.” Lots of directors try to get girls to work for free and blacklist them elsewhere to keep funds in-house.

Her next BF strangles her when they run out of coke. When she calls the cops, she actually receives the best help from them, judges, and the landlord who document everything, jail and restrain him and let her stay in an apartment free from his sour memories. Everyone but her agency, that is. They just look down on her messy life. Though it’s easy to see why when she’s doing “line races” w/ coworkers of coke or molly feet long, they’ve got to be used to it. One of her better lovers is a sugar daddy who never runs out of 8balls, but the best is a one night stand w/ sweetly clingy Alex. Their conversation is easy and he gets her to lift weights w/ him instead of clubbing.

This story could jump around a tad less but I like her voice on Audible or written, it’s so honest w/ herself and us. Another overlooked point is her anorexia/bulimia. That and the DUIs I assume somehow get dropped since she buys new cars right away and it takes a while before a suspension. I kept waiting for her to speak on actually living w/ her mom, but it never came besides Karmen confessing she sabotages relationships because she wants to be the one to leave—not be left. Or how when Karmen tries to sober up, her mom jokes about her OD, gifts her booze, and steals almost a thousand dollars. After relapsing at the AVN awards, she’s clean for good. It helps her career, working w/ bigger companies. She marries Alex, leaves the industry on top, and they have a little girl like she always wanted to prove she can be the mom she always wanted. Later, she’s able to land a lucrative yet easy scheduled contract. The last ch is a love letter from her husband describing when they first met, all they went through as addicts and overcame. What a happy ending—thank god!
Profile Image for Erika Reynolds.
518 reviews3 followers
May 31, 2023
This is an honest, genuine account of van de Bunt’s life as a sex worker and drug addict. She goes into extreme detail about her life as a cocaine-addicted stripper and adult film star, as well as the physical and sexual abuse she suffered from boyfriends and male adult film industry workers. She doesn’t mince words, which can be jarring at times, but it feels authentic to her voice and her experience. I know people like to read about train wrecks, but I wish she would have spent more time talking about her road to recovery. Her story was interesting, but the writing is amateur. Obviously she isn’t a professional writer, but there were many missed opportunities for her to connect her experiences to life lessons and leave the reader with something larger to take away. That’s where the book fell flat for me, but her life story is interesting. The book is very sexually graphic, which should not be a surprise based on the title and content, but just a warning.
Profile Image for Sandy Plants.
255 reviews28 followers
i-didnt-finish
April 20, 2020
I didn’t finish this book. I judge it to be a valid and powerful story and I admire the tenacity and courage that it takes to share such vulnerable parts of oneself.

That being said, I can’t continue reading this. It reads as “this horrible thing happened and then I did this horrible thing and this was horrible.” I have this feeling that I am her therapist, providing her counselling (that I paid for) but without being able to ask her “how does that feel?” I have this vision of an unstoppable train—it just keeps speeding up—and I’m sitting in my seat hoping to god it slows down, feeling totally helpless.

I don’t have the capacity to read a book like this, though I’m sure those who connect with it get a lot out of it.
Profile Image for Katelynne.
895 reviews12 followers
July 7, 2019
I flew through this interesting, moving, and entertaining memoir about addiction, recovery, and working in the sex industry. Amber’s story is powerful. As this was my first time reading the memoir or a porn star, I really enjoyed learning more about the behind the scenes of the industry. And I absolutely loved the afterward by Amber’s husband, Alex. If you enjoy memoirs, especially memoirs centering on addiction and recovery or the sex industry, then I highly recommend this book!

I was given this book for free in exchange for my honest review. Check out my upcoming full review on Slutty Girl Problems and Bitch Bookshelf.
Profile Image for Katie.
97 reviews
July 22, 2024
Lacks reflection and feels more like a pointless recounting of awful events
Profile Image for Dana.
252 reviews
August 27, 2024
NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART

STARS: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I wasn’t quite sure what I was getting myself into when I started reading this because I wasn’t formerly aware of the author or her background. So I was not aware of the amount of triggers in this book, so I will list them here before my review: sexual violence, domestic violence, rape, blacking out, excessive drinking, underage drinking, drinking while driving, driving while under the influence, drugs & drug use, addiction, eating disorders, suicide, parental abuse & abandonment, abortion, prostitution, and sex work.

The author details her life through doing sex work starting as an underage teenage girl doing cam girl work and progressing from there. She travels to Florida to live with an abusive mother to pursue a career as a stripper, which leads her down a destructive path of alcohol and drug addiction and domestic violence.

She segways into the porn industry out in Los Angeles and only becomes even deeper entrenched in a cycle of addiction and abuse; however, still loving her career choice as a porn star.

You will have to read to book to see how this eventually turns out.

The book is brutally detailed with her exploits in both the stripping and porn industry, which is both interesting and terrifying at points. The violence this woman endures just blows me away and breaks my heart. She says she truly love and enjoys both industries and will continue with porn. But is this really healthy for her if it’s a job she had to medicate with both drugs and alcohol to deal and often blacked out. I feel as if she really struggled inside and buried her emotions with the substances. None of this can truly be empowering for her. I’m not here to judge, but wanted to point that out.

I admire the author’s brutal honesty and revealing things that most typically don’t, especially about the sex work industries. I appreciate that she is not ashamed by telling her story. I applaud her for her sobriety.

Would I Recommend?

Yes. Overall, this is an interesting, yet brutal read.
Profile Image for buck.
51 reviews1 follower
March 11, 2025
It's hard to give this one a rating.
It upset me in all the right ways.. I think?

It is refreshing to hear someone successful in the porn industry who isn't shy to voice the many, many faults in it. I also appreciated hearing from someone who romanticized the industry from a young age and was always interested in it. I loved hearing that Amber followed her dreams, but I am so sorry for the situations she was put in.

I had to take breaks from listening to this audiobook because some things were so triggering. It was unsettling how bluntly she would retell a very gruesome memory of abuse like it was nothing, but it does well to reflect how her mind worked back then.

Proud of her recovery journey and hope many others in the industry or with similar lifestyles find hope in themselves from this story.
Profile Image for Ali.
286 reviews6 followers
October 5, 2022
☆☆☆☆ - This was a great memoir about addiction, sex work, adult entertainment, self-harm, abuse, disordered eating, dysfunctional family relationships, and more. However, despite some of the horrific and devastating things that Amber has gone through, her strength and resiliency is so evident throughout this book. I found myself teary-eyed multiple times while reading, relating to some of her raw and vulnerable words so deeply. I loved how she wrapped up the book as well. She is able to enter this new phase of her life and have created something that can inspire and help many others. Would definitely recommend the read!
Profile Image for Mari.
107 reviews6 followers
November 18, 2023
Powerful story, raw and honest. Couldn’t stop listening. People are so quick to judge and make assumptions - but after they would read what she has Been through and what she endured , they would think otherwise. I respect Amber/Karmen even more than I did before (from just watching her tiktok) and I’m rooting for her.
Profile Image for hailey.
104 reviews4 followers
February 20, 2025
I absolutely love the author's honesty and rawness when talking about her struggles and the way she leaves nothing out. I listened to the audiobook because she narrated it and it felt like she was talking to me directly as a friend. I loved the afterword by her husband. I'm glad the author found her happiness and overcame her struggles.
Profile Image for Ophelia.
5 reviews
March 18, 2024
I was pleasantly surprised. A beautifully written memoir that makes you fall in love with Amber’s deep and sincere reflections on her own experiences in life.
11 reviews
February 14, 2024
A great memoir and story of someone who went through so much growing up and how she was able to take her past and heal and become clean and sober. And become not only a hoe to a housewife. But a wonderful mother and entrepreneur.
Profile Image for Mary Gustafson.
13 reviews1 follower
August 22, 2025
This was really hard to rate. On one hand, I was invested in the book. I enjoyed reading about her life. On the other, I didn’t enjoy her as a person. She’s whiny and wants to be the victim which was super annoying. So…I think if this were fiction, I’d have enjoyed it more.
614 reviews
July 21, 2020
If possible, I would give this book a solid 2.5-star rating. This memoir has a train-wreck quality as van de Bunt lists every bad decision she ever made regarding sex and drugs from high school to her twenties. A book full of what happens when a young woman navigates her life without having any self respect (this is not a judgment; the author herself admits to a lack of self respect) and a sense of invincibility. I wonder what might have been different for van de Bunt if her mother had been present in her formative years. Then again, van de Bunt claims repeatedly that she always dreamt of a life in the sex industry (stripping and porn), so maybe this story would have been the same minus the drug use.

I'm glad the author found her happiness.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Anthony Cardoza.
17 reviews
May 24, 2024
Hmm hard to rate this one, this book came off a bit like a drug log. Heard this story from lots of people in recovery, but she has overcome a lot. Being this honest demands respect and I’d like to say thank you to her for holding nothing back. By her being honest I’m sure she will save some lives and for women struggling with drug abuse, or being hyper sexual I highly recommend this. Also loved her message of “you got this “ so overall solid book easy read so why not give it a shot.
Profile Image for Robert Segura.
52 reviews
January 21, 2023
Hug your kids. This book is what happens when you neglect/abuse your children. And if you're thinking "wait, if i abuse my kids, they'll become authors?" No, that is not what I mean. Nice try
Profile Image for Natalia Antonoff.
78 reviews4 followers
July 31, 2023
Abortion
Abuse
Addiction
Adult industry
Agent
Alcohol
Alcoholic mother
Alex
Amber van de Bunt
Attention
Attention whore
AVN Awards
Blackouts
Bleaching
Blow
Boyfriend
Burning Angel
Career
Cheat
Clubbing
Cocaine
Consent
Craziness
Daughter
Dealer
Death
Depression
Devastating
Directors
Dollars
Drinking
Drug dealing
Drugs
Duality
DUI
Eating disorders
Enema
Escorting
Guilt
Harassment
Homeless
Honest
Hookups
Husband
Hustler
Included with my Audible membership
Infinity Island
Jail
Karmen Karma
Lingerie
Los Angeles
Makeup
Marriage
McNuggets
Memoir
Mess
Miami
Michigan
Model houses
Molly
Mommy issues
Money
Naked
Nudes
One-night stands
Paranoia
Party
Pensacola
Pills
Pink hair
Police
Porn
Pregnancy
Promiscuous
Prozac
Ramen
Rape
Recovery
Resiliency
Restraint order
Robbery
Ryan
Second-class citizen
Self-care
Self-harm
Self-respect
Self-worth
Sex work
Sexual abuse
Slut
Slut reputation
Smoking
Snorting
Sobriety
STDs
Stripper
Struggles
Substance abuse
Sugar baby
Sugar daddy
Suicide attempt
Supportive dad
Surreal
T-back
Taboo
Tattoos
Titanic
Topless
Toxic relationships
Trash
Trauma
Vienna
Violence
VIP tables
Virginity
Waitress
Webcam
Weightlifting
Profile Image for Jonathan.
370 reviews16 followers
July 12, 2023
Boy this is rough read at times. The author has slogged her way through the incredibly surreal world of creating online porn - the really hard stuff as Amber makes clear - and somehow manages to stay afloat and positive about the industry. She says she really loved sex right from being very young and was always up for doing something crazy and ended up stripping for validation and then doing extreme and deliberately degrading porn then escorting, all painting a positive spin in situations that seems far from positive. Her mother was an alcoholic and left but her father and siblings were loving and supportive. The best bits of the book for me were about the life of a cocaine addict and how it hooks you in and then becoming a dealer with her boyfriend and the spiral downwards. The fairytale ending was a nice surprise, she's open honest and gutsy and I suppose this is an attractive quality. I couldn't decide what to think about her story and whether she is still in denial about the trauma from the sheer craziness of her life, being married to seemingly wonderful caring man while having a daughter she adores while continuing to escort and do hardcore porn seem unsustainable to me.
Profile Image for Tina.
424 reviews12 followers
July 19, 2023
I love discovering books I never knew existed. This is a book that I found through Amazon by entering the word "addiction". What a great read.

I have read several memoirs on addiction and porn. I have no idea why I find these books so fascinating, except to say that I live my life very differently than Amber, very differently.

Part of me was rooting for Amber while at the same time screaming at her that she is one of the luckiest woman.....that she didn't end up with a permanent STD or worse....dead and that she better be thanking all her lucky stars. Most people are not lucky enough to survive all the horrors she put her body through.

The amount of drugs she did is staggering and the way she just stopped has not been the expérience of most addicts.

She obviously had someone looking out for her. At times, she was horrid and I did not like her very much and at times I was rooting for her.

Very well written and very interesting. Kudos for being brave enough to so honestly tell us her story.
Profile Image for Dez Van Der Voort.
128 reviews3 followers
August 25, 2023
Writing: 4/5
Knowledge Gained: 3/5
Enjoyment: 2/5

This is an autobiography by ex-stripper, pornstar Karmen Karma (Amber). It is a trainwreck of a life, and although some may say she lives it like she means it, clearly we're two different types of people. She is honest in her writings, but the life sort of gets old. She gets drunk, has promiscuous sex, does lines of cocaine, blacks out, sometimes act as a drug dealer, sometimes as a prostitute, sometimes as a sugar baby, rinse and repeat. Then she goes to shoots porn, finally gets sober, and gets married and gives birth, then goes back to shoot more porn.
Profile Image for Share.
607 reviews6 followers
December 16, 2023
I have never heard of Amber (Karmen Karma) but this came as a "suggested for you" read and I thought I would give it a chance.

It was a brutally honest reflection of her hard beginnings and her tribulations to overcome addiction and become successful in an unconventional way. Having finished the book, I was compelled to do more research on her and discovered her tiktok. She seems to be thriving well and living a good life in recovery, in yes, still an unconventional way but it is her way.

No judgement here. Happy to see she found her way to success because it could have easily ended tragically.
Profile Image for Ahmad Omar.
29 reviews
July 12, 2025
Well all I could say is i made it. This was by no means a light read several times i debated closing it and buring my laptop but I didn't this isn't to say the book was bad its just that I'm not used to reading this type of genre

There's so much to unpack family trauma abusive industry and relationships and its definitely very confronting. I found appalling though how amber didn't have any regret for cheating on almost everyone but who am I to judge really there's not a lot of self reflection going on but yeah its certainly an unfamiliar territory to jump in at least for me as a man
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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