The Company We Keep

by Frances Itani

ON TUESDAY NIGHTS IN THE BACKROOM OF CASSIE'S CAFÉ, SIX STRANGERS SEEK SOLACE AND FIND THEMSELVES PART OF A COMPANY OF GOOD CHEER.

Hazzley is at loose ends, even three years after the death of her husband. When her longtime friend Cassandra, café owner and occasional dance-class partner, suggests that she start up a conversation group. Hazzley posts a notice on the community board at the local grocery store.

Four people turn up for the first meeting: Gwen, a recently retiree in her early 60s, who finds herself pet-sitting a cantankerous parrot; Chiyo, a 40-year-old fitness instructor who cared for her unyielding but gossip-loving mother through the final days of her life; Addie, a woman preemptively grieving a close friend who is seriously ill; and Tom, an antiques dealer and amateur poet who, deprived of home baking since becoming a widower, comes to the first meeting hoping cake will be served. Before long, they are joined by Allam, a Syrian refugee with his own story to tell.

These six strangers are learning that beginnings can be possible at any stage of life. but as they tell their stories, they must navigate what is shared and what is withheld. Which version of the truth will be revealed? Who is prepared to step up when help is needed?

This moving, funny and deeply empathic new novel from acclaimed author Frances Itani reminds us that life, with all its twists and turns, never loses its capacity to surprise.




RUNNING TIME ⇒ 9hrs.

©2020 Frances Itani (P)2020 HarperCollins Publishers

Genres: Fiction, Canada, Book Club, Grief, Audiobook, Contemporary, Adult Fiction

344 pages, Paperback

First published August 18, 2020

About the author

Frances Susan Itani is a Canadian fiction writer, poet and essayist.

Itani was born in Belleville, Ontario and grew up in Quebec. She studied nursing in Montreal and North Carolina, a profession which she taught and practised for eight years. However, after enrolling in a writing class taught by W. O. Mitchell, she decided to change careers.

Itani has published ten books, ranging from fiction and poetry to a children's book. Her 2003 novel Deafening, published in 16 countries, won the Commonwealth Writers Prize (Canada and Caribbean Region) and the Drummer General’s Award for Fiction and was a finalist for the International IMPAC Dublin Literary Award. Her short story collection, Poached Egg on Toast, won the Ottawa Book Award and the CAA Jubilee Award for Best Collection of Stories. She was recently awarded the Order of Canada. Frances Itani lives in Ottawa.

Reviews

[NILTON TEIXEIRA · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well... this book is beautifully written, there is no doubt about it, and for that alone I would have rated it 5 stars. I guess that’s why it was mentioned for the 2020’s Scotiabank Giller Prize. But unfortunately this one did not touch me in any level.
This book is about coping with grieving. That’s such an emotional topic!
But I felt nothing.
My favourite moments were with the parrot, even though I’m not a fan of birds, especially those in captivity.
I really expected to love this book.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book, by a Canadian author, is set in Canada and contemporarily in the fall of 2018. It is the most precious and insightful book I have read regarding bereavement, and I have read many many books about bereavement as I have been widowed twice already in my 72 years and just last February, I lost my only son and child who had unsuccessfully undergone a double heart transplant at Toronto General.

This book is beautifully written in the down-to-earth style of Maeve Binchy, and is like talking to a good friend over a cup of tea. The main characters in it are not only honest but unpretentious on their journey to New Beginnings in their Tuesday evening group of of those widowed, losing a parent, or a close friend. There are dozens of thoughtful, healing comments throughout the storyline....one of the many excerpts that really spoke to me regarding the comfort of group sharing is "Grief will not be contained and owned. Its spills out and joins streams and rivers of grief that are already out there, heading for an ocean of sadness that never makes its way onto a map. It's not going to go away. Not completely. Maybe there was some tucking away place where grief was stored that permitted you to carry on, pull yourself up and out of that river or stream."
For anyone going through, or trying to understand the process of grief, I highly recommend "The Company We Keep" by Frances Itani.

[Penny (Literary Hoarders) · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars A nice story about grief and moving forward after the loss of a husband, a wife, a best friend. The coming together of this group to share in their grief also welcomed a Canadian newcomer, a refugee from Syria, who taught them how to move forward, how to find love again and find peace.

In terms of landing on the Giller Longlist - I'd say it's a bit of a longshot. This is a nice story, it reminded me of being wrapped in the warmth of a Maeve Binchy novel, but in terms of consideration for a literary prize, I don't feel the judges would find it "literary" enough, as awful as that may be to say. For me, it's a Frances Itani, so I enjoyed it, as I always find enjoyment when reading her novels.

[Susan Lightstone · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed a book like this. The right book at the right time. I found it to be both well written (as Itani's books always are) and also comforting on a variety of levels. This is a book about grief and loss and this is a time all of us are experiencing both because of COVID. By telling the stories of how the members of the conversation group navigated grief, Itani has given readers a bit of a map of moving through our current situation of loss and sadness. Plus, reading the book provided a vicarious visit to a coffee shop -- one where people meet and sit and talk for hours. And, that's something I've certainly missed over the past months, but which Itani gives us. Thanks to Itani for giving us a kind, gentle book that serves as a comforting recipe for processing grief and introducing us to a group of people we'd love to know even better.

[Rose Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book hooked me right away, with its Chapter One description of a woman determinedly emptying (“down-sizing”) her house with the help of the burly guys in the Re-Store truck. All six main characters, a cross-section of ages and genders, are wonderfully imagined, as is Rico the parrot (you’ll just have to read it now, won’t you?), and the stories they share in their “grief discussion group” run the gamut from funny to touching to tragic. Allam, a Syrian refugee, reminded me vividly of a wonderful Syrian man named Aladeen who was enrolled in the ESL classes that I volunteered with here in Collingwood in 2019, which just made me enjoy the book even more. The Canadian references throughout are a bonus. (Aside: Frances Itani holds an Order of Canada.) In my opinion it’s the best kind of fiction, that feels like a slice of real life.

[Laural Griffen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written book. Sensitive topics covered with grace and with humour.

[Katsmewsings · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. I was approx 50% through and was just so disconnected from the characters. Might have been okay but wasn’t working for me.

[Maggie Knaus · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Company We Keep is a lovely book about love, loss and friendship and it made me realize that we are all grieving many things at different points in our lives. I hadn’t really identified the sadness I’ve been feeling about my kids going off to university until I came to the end of the book and had a name for it, grief. But what I loved about the book was Itani’s positive outlook on all that life has to offer and how we can see things in a new light after a loss.
It really affected me and left me with a lasting impression.

[Paula Dembeck · Rating 5 out of 5]

I knew within reading the first five pages, I would really like this novel. I don’t exactly know what makes a five-star book, it seems different every time. Sometimes it comes as a clarion call within those first pages, sometimes it creeps up as the plot unfolds and sometimes it comes when I close the final pages of the book. There are also times it challenges me, when I really want to give a book a 4.5 rating, but forced to decide between a 4 and a 5, am generous and push it to a full 5, or feel I can’t comfortably go there and allow it to stay at an unhappy 4. Whatever the reason, it often has little to do with content but may have something to do with where my head is at that particular point in time. After all who would want to read about death during this deadly pandemic? Yes, this book is about death, but it is not about Kubler Ross’s well-known phases that precede it. Instead, it looks at people trying to move on with their lives after experiencing loss, a universal experience we all process differently.

Hazzley is in her late seventies and still struggling three years after losing her husband Lew who was an alcoholic. She posts a note on the community notice board of Marvin’s, the small local grocery store in Wilna Creek, welcoming those interested to join a “grief discussion group”. Her friend Cassandra runs a small café a few blocks down from Marvin’s and makes the room at the back available for the community’s use. Hazzley hopes she can gather a loose knit group of people who have experienced loss and are struggling to get their lives back on track. Her expectations are vague and she has no firm plans for the group, except she knows there will be no presentations or guest speakers. Nor does she want this to be a group confessional. What she wants is to put together an informal group of men and women looking for friendship and healing, who would support one another and share conversation and companionship.

Four people signed up for the first meeting. Gwen lived with an abusive husband who had a stroke and she nursed him at home until his death five months ago. Chiyo is a fortyish fitness instructor, a personal trainer who also teaches yoga and tai chi. Chiyo lived with her difficult mother all her life and cared for her until she died from leukemia. Addie is a hospital administrator who has put her own life on hold and is struggling to manage the care of her best friend Sybil who is dying of breast cancer. Sybil is Addie’s best friend and Sybil is trying to cope with the fact that Sybil is losing her life and she is losing her best friend. Tom is an amateur poet and the owner of a small store where he buys and sells antiques. His wife Ida died eleven months ago and he misses her, rambling around in their house which is now too big for one person and where he still feels her presence. He has settled into a mindless routine but feels adrift and lonely. The group is later joined by Allam, a Syrian refugee in his early sixties who has experienced incredible losses and is struggling to establish a new life for himself in Canada.

These people come together for the first meeting not sure what to expect but open to what may happen. Each begins sharing their experience with grief and we learn how loss is experienced in a myriad of different ways. Everyone’s journey is different. They are kind and patient with each other, careful not to be intrusive. The topics they discuss are varied and change over later weeks, but underlying all of what they share, is grief. What they find helpful is having others around them they know have been through a similar experience. Each decides what they will share, carefully keeping back parts of their own experience that make them uncomfortable. As the group continues to meet, they all begin to gain a sense of hope.

For some, the death of a loved one became a liberating experience. They were now free to let go of the long tiring responsibilities of care giving and are relieved of seeing someone they cared about in constant pain. For others it opened a door to freedom from a life of unhappiness with an abusive partner, a critical parent whose expectations they could never meet or the shameful secrets they kept from others about what went on behind the closed doors of their home. But that freedom is elusive. They are not sure how to walk through that door, the one they have stood behind for so many years. They speak of feeling guilty about things they kept from their loved one, of regret about the ways they sometimes treated someone they cared about, or lies they made up so they could cope. They share the common experience of suddenly being overwhelmed with sadness, of crying jags that come unexpectedly and overwhelm them. They learn how unrelenting grief can be, how easily someone can be undone when they are vulnerable. They come to understand how they lose a part of themselves when someone close to them dies, but must find a way to continue on with their life. They share the challenge of trying to carve out that new path without forgetting the past and not sure how to begin, help each other find it.

They learn that grief never goes away, it lingers, but over time it changes, settles down and lives in the back rather than the front of their minds.

Itani’s novel shows how grief is not a simple subject but one that is incredibly complex. Each character experiences it differently and reacts differently. Initially it means facing the challenge of just getting through another day and ultimately means finding a way to continue on in life, an experience they learn is easier to bear in a community.

Among the characters, Allam is someone in the group who has had a horrific past. He has lost his family including his parents and his wife, his friends, his home, his country, culture and his language. In fact, he has lost his entire way of life. He is making his way in this new cold country, struggling to learn a new language, finding a way to make a living, trying to be a grandparent to his daughter’s children and teaching others in the immigrant Syrian community about the culture they all were forced to leave behind.

There is another fascinating character, a skittish, temperamental grey parrot named Rico, who Gwen is babysitting while his owner Cecelia Grand hurries to California to help a daughter during an emergency. Rico is no ordinary bird. He speaks, is highly intelligent and can be cantankerous when he chooses. He is a pampered bird, accustomed to gold star care. Gwen must follow strict requirements for his routine and is initially intimidated by the long, very specific list of everything she must do. Rico at first greets Gwen with hostile indifference, but gradually the two grow accustom to one another and Gwen experiences another loss when his owners return and her parrot sitting assignment comes to an end.

Itani has published several award-winning books and this is her eighteenth novel, a notable accomplishment for a woman who only began writing later in life. She is known for her meticulous research and as a life-long learner, that process is one of her favourite parts of the writing experience. For this book she had to learn everything she could about African grey parrots, their behavior and how to care for them. In creating the character of Allam as a Syrian refugee, she immersed herself in learning about their culture and their experience as immigrants in Canada.

Although this book is about death, it is more about loss and negotiating a passage through and around it, pointing optimistically and confidently to a new but necessarily different future. I liked the theme, enjoyed the characters and Itani’s writing, which has always been excellent.

[TracyGH · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a feel good book. It was just the perfect book to make you happy.

A grief support group is created within the community and members from different walks of life and ages join together to support each other. There was such a sense of community in this book as it took you through the different stages in their walk with loss.

I once again I loved that this was a Canadian author.

“Grief was complicated. People grieved when they fought with siblings, when grudges were held, when they didn’t receive an expected inheritance, when they finally understood that their childhood years could never be set right. They grieved severed relationships, marriages that broke down or were abandoned. They grieved loss of hearing, of eyesight, of damaged or missing limbs. They grieved for hundreds, thousands of reasons - as many many as the human brain could invent.”

“Grief will not be contained and owned. It spills out and joins streams and rivers that are already out there, heading for an ocean of sadness that never makes its way way into a map.”

Highly recommend for the soul and generosity of the human spirit.

[Desiree · Rating 4 out of 5]

Started off slow, but once you got to know the characters it turned into a lovely and comforting read.

[Barb · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lovely sad but hopeful story about grief, beautifully told.

[☕Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ratings:

Writing 3
Story line 2
Characters 2
Impact 2

Overall rating 2.25

[Mona · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author always tells a good story. A very good read.

[Lindsey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Set in the fictional town of Wilna Creek, Ontario, this story follows five people and their journey with grief and loneliness. Hazzely, Gwen, Tom, Addie, and Allam have all lost someone, and meet at a support group for grief at a local coffee shop. Through the meetings, we learn more about their lives and the people they've lost, as well as how they are coping.

Overall, I found the writing to be very good and the idea of the plot to be good. This story just did not resonate with me and I found myself detached from the characters. This made the book difficult to read and I kept putting it down, instead of wanting to read through the story.

[Catherine Main-Oster · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a word “Charming” . Stories of lives touched by grief and moving forward. A beautiful read with Canadian flavour.

[M Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

With strong All the Lonely People vibes, this is a lovely story of a group of strangers who find each other, process grief and some who even find second chances. I appreciated the varied experiences of grief and how the author represented each person's story and experiences. As the processing of grief is explored, the refugee stories of survival are intertwined beautifully. This is a good book that I think read in the wrong headspace. I couldn't connect to the characters but appreciated the concept of the story.

My reviews can also be seen at www.instagram.com/justonemoorebook.

[Nora · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had just started reading this book and found myself in a familiar place that I had visited not long ago…but it took me a while to figure out why and it came to me…it felt like the place I had been to when reading Joan Clark’s The Birthday Lunch. I can see no direct parallels…other than they were written by Canadian women of a similar age and they both dealt with death and it’s aftermath. Yet it was the neighbourhoods and characters in each that just felt recognizable and natural and made the reading experience…comfortable.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read for book club #2. This was good but not great. I spent most of the book wondering why it wasn't marketed as women's fiction. Just because one of the points of view was a man? Or something about the author? Because it really read like standard women's fiction (not a dig).

[Melissa Kowal · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story of happy sadness with lovely friends.

[Colinda Clyne · Rating 3 out of 5]

What it means to create community pulled together by grief. Like a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter evening (which I may have had whilst reading)

[Lauren | Wordsbetweenlines · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this was just a slower, more meandering read than I was in the mood for. I liked hearing the many stories of all the entwined lives and how grief impacted each one differently.

I was hoping for something a bit more emotional. Overall, I enjoyed it but it wasn’t memorable.

[Debra · Rating 4 out of 5]

An insightful, loving book.

[Trina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Book club so review later ☺️

[Friederike Knabe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoughts to follow.

[Karen Gallant · Rating 4 out of 5]

A soft and gentle book about love, loss, grief and friendship.

[Pauline · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just not the depth I would expect in an Itani novel. I felt I did not engage with any of the characters until Allam starts talking around P. 171. I rate this 2.5 stars, rounded up to 3.

[Camilla Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be very well-written and I personally enjoyed reading it. I can see how it received a Giller nomination. I think it speaks to the many levels and intricacies of grief and how it is unique to each situation. I would definitely recommend this book.

[Eileen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Because of a strong review on goodreads I had this novel on my Christmas list. It lives up to the stars! The author, Frances Itani, is Canadian, and has written eighteen books. She has been honored in numerous ways for her works. Canadian authors are often at the top of my favorites!
I was moved by the book’s dedication:

‘For lifelong friends, the 63’s, with loveI
I’ve got your back and I know you have mine’

It is generally accepted that an author finds inspiration in what she knows. Strands of strong friendships ripple through The Company We Keep. The plot is unique indeed, and the writing strong. The novel fairly pulses with the currents of life. I was reminded of a much-loved child’s picture book entitled Someday, by Alison Meghee and Peter H. Reynolds. With simple drawings and sparse prose, the phases in a mother’s life spring from those pages. In a way, despite the complexity of the novel, the reader becomes aware of similar transitions. I loved the gentle way the various scenarios take shape.
There is a rich vocabulary and much food for thought. Quiet, powerful descriptions provide dimension. For example:

‘Fragments of grey clouds swept across the grizzled sky’.

I wonder how often the sky has been described as grizzled!
5 stars, easily!

[Helene]

Lovely