Every Body: An Honest and Open Look at Sex from Every Angle

by Julia Rothman, Shaina Feinberg

Experience a radically inclusive and informative collection of stories, essays, interviews, and art about sex, relationships, and body confidence.

Have you ever had a question about sex—whether out of curiosity, desire, or the sneaking suspicion you’re, somehow, different? Every Body will help you feel less alone. It’s a huge collection of anonymous stories, essays, artwork, and expert tell-alls on myriad subjects, all rolled into one. Really, it’s the conversations most of us are too scared to start.

Thanks to talented duo Julia Rothman and Shaina Feinberg, we don’t have to. The stories, essays, and interviews they’ve compiled touch on a wide array of topics, including first times, open relationships, body acceptance, accidental pregnancies, sex toys, pleasure, fear and trauma, sexual discovery, and more.

Framed by dozens of artists’ illustrations, deeply personal interviews, and expert essays that address stigmas and clichés, this book is an informative, welcoming, and inclusive user’s guide to your body, no matter its shape, size, or preferences.

A dynamic group of voices and styles makes Every Body an essential resource and helpful companion as you explore your own body (and more!).

Genres: Nonfiction, Sexuality, Art, Feminism, Essays, Health, Short Stories

272 pages, Hardcover

First published January 5, 2021

Reviews

[Marlena Chertock · Rating 3 out of 5]

Beautiful illustrations, essays and snippets of interviews from a variety of voices and experiences, and honest descriptions of sex, body acceptance, and more. Two critiques: 1) the LGBTQ section was lacking and not as diverse or joyful as it could have been, and 2) I was deeply disturbed by one anonymous story that said their first sexual experience/relationship was with their uncle when they were 13, and that it was “good” ... deeply concerning. Hoping the authors respond to that.

[Madison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly, this book was incredible and I’m so glad I took the time to read it. This is definitely not intended as an educational book, but I feel like I learned so much as well as gaining a more open mind about sex, love, relationships, etc. The illustrations in the book were also so cool. I have no complaints about this at all!

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Part reading secrets, part educational, part remembering everybody’s got something they’re dealing with, and part XXX rated illustrations

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It’s a thorough collection of artwork and personal anecdotes from anonymous contributors on various subtopics centering around sex, sexuality, and bodies and relationships in general.

This might be a dated comparison, but as a fan of Postsecret back in the day I just really loved reading other people’s secrets and being reminded of how big the world is and how no one is ever truly alone! Be warned, both the artwork and the written content can be both sexually explicit as well as graphic about many topics such as abuse, SA, CSA, drugs/addiction, and abortion. The combo of being sensitive AND informative gives this book an opportunity to open readers to looking at things from angles they maybe hadn’t considered before.

I think its editors took care to ensure diversity in the stories -- there’s even a section at the end that breaks down the demographics, and hopefully in a future publication they can boost those numbers for marginalized groups. It was probably really fun curating the art featured here and choosing what best accompanied each section, which I think was done really well! Let me know your thoughts on this one if you check it out.

[Rojda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Super interesting! It's not a book you can read in one setting but rather have to fan out to read session by session. Some parts felt like talking and gossiping with friends while other parts felt educational.

[Susanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

The authors evidently write an illustrated column for the New York Times, and here share both their own thoughts, plus essays, letters and illustrations from a host of other people. Given the recent conservative increase in efforts to ban controversial books, I see why few public libraries in my area carry this, but it could actually be a useful resource for adults who grew up without adequate sex education. This seems like a more adult (and better illustrated) version of the highly regarded books published for children and teens over the years (Robie Harris' "It's Perfectly Normal", Ruth Bell's "Changing Bodies Changing Lives"), and as such could go a long way in dispelling ignorance, guilt and anxiety. An interesting piece of work, for sure, but I wouldn't call it erotic: descriptions of rote, workmanlike sex abound but much of it seems joyless. Sex without love still seems sad to me.

[Lena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gerade habe ich dieses Buch beendet und wow 😍 es war der absolute Wahnsinn. Definitiv ein Jahreshighlight. So grandios gestaltet, mit so vielen tollen Illustrationen, Zeichnungen und Comics und auch die Storys waren bombastisch. Es gab Geschichten von allen mögliche Menschen mit allen möglichen sexuellen Orientierungen. Es gab kein Thema das nicht behandelt wurde. Ich habe so viel Neues gelernt, erfahren und es war einfach grandios. Riesen Empfehlung dieses Buch.

[Lesefruechte · Rating 4 out of 5]

Es gibt eine Menge Themen, über die in unserer Gesellschaft viel zu wenig geredet wird. Dazu gehört unteranderem Sex und viele Dinge, die damit zu tun haben. Das Buch „Every Body“ trägt dazu bei Schweigen und Tabus zu brechen. Offen berichten Menschen über Sex, Masturbation, Selbstliebe, Scham, sexuell übertragbare Krankheiten, Traumata, Missbrauch und vieles mehr. Es sind positive und schöne Erfahrungen dabei und negative. Die Diversität der Erzählenden, sei es Herkunft, Geschlecht, Sexualität etc., spiegelt sich auch in den Geschichten wieder, die vor allem eines zeigen: du bist nicht alleine mit deinen Erfahrungen.
Es ist die Vielfalt, die es möglich macht, sich irgendwie in den Erzählungen wieder zu finden, aber auch über den eigenen Tellerrand hinauszuschauen und über andere Lebensperspektiven zu lernen. Grafisch ist das Buch wirklich ein hingucke, denn neben Storys, Essays, Interviews und den kurzen Erzählungen, lassen sich zahlreiche Grafiken und Comics von unterschiedlichen Künst*lerinnen finden.
Jedoch hätte ich mir an der ein oder anderen Stelle ein redaktionelles eingreien der Herausgeberinnen und eine Einordnung bestimmter Aussagen gewünscht. Auf der Rückseite wird das Buch als „Aufklärungsbuch“ betitelt. Diese Selbstwahrnehmung kollidiert dann aber mit der Reproduktion und fehlenden Einordnung von Mythen, wie der Existenz eines Jungfernhäutchens. Auch der vorkommende Ableismus und andere Aussagen einzelner Erzähl*erinnen haben bei mir einen faden Beigeschmack hinterlassen, wo zb. Eine Person dafür plädiert hat, sich im Internet Gratispornos anzuschauen (es geht mir hier nicht um Pornos an sich, sondern das fehlende Bezahlen dafür).
Das Buch hat wirklich eine wunderschöne Aufmachung und die vielfältigen Eindrücke, Erfahrungen und Themen habe ich wirklich geliebt. Leider kann ich nicht in höchsten Tönen davon schwärmen, es aber euch dennoch ans Herz legen, wenn ihr euch mit Lust, Sexualität und vielen mehr beschäftigen wollt, um neues zu lernen oder euch wiederzufinden.
 
 

[Brianna Kinley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love reading this book and experiencing perspectives that weren’t my own. It was a great way to explore different sexualities, personalities, and identities, as well as discussing key topics in our society.

[Celia Rheault · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book to have bedside as bedtime reading. Not because of the content, but more so because of the short stories-snippets-essay format in which the book is presented. Definitely an eye-opener on many levels and from every angle, as the title promises.

[Anna Pérez Martí · Rating 5 out of 5]

Personas de edades, grupos sociales y creencias muy diferentes se sinceran sobre su vida sexual; los relatos engloban anécdotas divertidas sobre masturbación, fantasías y porno pero también ETS o agresiones sexuales.

Debería ser lectura obligada, para todos y en todas partes: la gente se entendería, aceptaría y respetaría mejor. No exagero, hasta tal punto las dos autoras han acertado la selección de historias y las han editado con sensibilidad e inteligencia.

Además, las ilustraciones son maravillosas. ¡Muy recomendable!

[Vam · Rating 3 out of 5]

It has all these confessions of people experiencing things about sexuality, sex, intimacy - it's like reading a forum.

[Mariah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book for me was beautiful between the variety of stories, essays and illustrations. It made me reflect on my own experiences and feel gratitude for them. Some of the stories were heartbreaking in their short paragraphs. Some were so funny. All in all, this seemed like such a cool collaboration for the authors and I know I mentally sent some loving kindness to each of the contributors for sharing their stories, regardless of whether they were good/bad/neutral.

[baylor f · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF, but got most of the way through. This book was much less satisfying than I had hoped it would be. Yes it did have many perspectives on sex collected from anonymous sources, but there was no sense of dialogue within this book between submissions. It felt more like a smorgasbord of randomness. I did enjoy the essays that were periodically spread throughout.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I expected this to be an educational book based on the title, but it's a collection of essays and anonymous confessions. It was very interesting to read! It took me a lot longer to read than I thought. I loved the comic illustrations, and that a list of all the artists was included at the end.

[Lucia Figueroa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book opened my eyes to different ways of living the sexuality. Funny stories, sad stories, exciting stories… the mood while reading was unpredictable. I learned a lot from many different points of view, things that I never questioned or wondered. I loved this book and I recommended it already to many of my friends

[Sara Molinaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

A pleasure. I wanted more.

[chelsea · Rating 3 out of 5]

So, full disclosure: because this book is a collection of other people's experiences, not every story is going to be compatible with every reader. That's totally fine and to be expected. I still recommend you check it out if you're interested, because I promise you whatever you think is 'weird' about your sex life/sexuality/body is normalized in here.

I was mostly interested in reading this book because of my experiences with vaginismus. I wasn't 100% sure it would be covered, but it was! In fact, it was even mentioned within the first few pages. Around 55% of the way through the book, I decided that I wasn't going to read any of the stories that triggered me or made me uncomfortable, which is a strategy I'd recommend to any other readers. Yes, you should go into this book curious about the perspectives of others, but don't push yourself too hard, especially if you have past trauma.

Overall I found this book super refreshing and -- yes, as the cover says -- honest.

[Karine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a 2.5 ⭐️ good book to read.
This is my book in 2021 for the Reading Challenge, #9: Read a book of short stories.

This book made me feel like I was sitting at a table with friends and strangers and we were all sharing stories on important but often taboo topics.

[RUTHIE · Rating 2 out of 5]

A cool idea, but by no means "radically diverse" as proclaimed. Variety in art and voices though! I was expecting more of an educational tool, but I do appreciate the approachability to the array of topics it covers.

[Everett · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a collection of anonymously sent in snippets about people's relationships with sex, their partners, and themselves. They vary in length and topic, and there is a mix between small submissions and longer essays about everything from first times, pregnancy, sexual assault, sex horror stories, and race. It was an interesting concept, and I can see why this would be appealing both to readers and to the people who felt inclined to share. I get it- there's something fun and thrilling about getting to share wild storied you may have been keeping in and for others there may be relief and closure at talking about more serious things that happened to them. I like where this book comes from, and I appreciate the message that Rotham and Feinberg were trying to spread with this. They want to show how something so "taboo" connects us together more than most people would think.

I have to give this book some props- I'm at a point in life where sex is just a big topic, whether or not you really have a sex life at all, and I've gotten more interested in human sexuality as a topic. Once you get past any shame or embarassment you might feel with finding interest in the topic it's quite enjoyable. It's one of the most universal human experiences, but at the same time it's so different and versatile. Everyone has a different relationship to it, and it's really interesting how different sexuality presents itself depending on the historical period and culture. I think this book helped make me think about things in ways I had never thought of before. I wouldn't say that this book challenged my view persay, but it made me think about topics I had never considered before. And I'm sure everyone's outcome is going to be different depending on your age, background, and level of sexual experience. I know if I reread this book in the future I would get something wildly different out of it than I did this first read through.

However, despite how much this book opened my mind, I would not claim this book to be educational. Informing, sure, but I would not take anything in this book as a guide of what to do. I don't even think this book is meant to be a guide to sex- it's just a collection of different people's stories. If you're looking for sex advice in this book you will not find it. I was hoping to learn a bit myself, but once I finished I felt even worse of. This book tries to highlight the "realness" of sexuality, and although there certainly were plenty of submissions that I thought highlighted that, I also felt like Rothman and Feinberg purposely picked out some of the more absurd and shocking stories for entertainment value, which brought down the realisticness of the whole thing. I certainly don't think that they made any of them up, there's certainly plenty enough interesting things you do hear from people to fill a book, but there were some that I reeked heavily of personal bias or felt exagerated from the submitter's side. There were a few submissions that made me roll my eyes because they felt painfully exagerated and fromatted to seem more interesting (looking at you essay that made it a big thing to mention the writer was a communist for some reason). And then on top of the fact that the ones that were the most "entertaining" were picked for the book, it made the realtability of the whole book go down signifigantly. I also think this book focused a lot on people with lots of sexual escapades and neglected the stories of people who may be more isolated, sexually confused and frustrated, or are still figuring things out. Maybe it's just because I'm young and would relate more to people in my age or position, but I would have liked to hear about more of how people even got into the situations they did rather than just the weird stuff the did.

Im sure in reality if you read through every single snippet sent in, it would feel more evened out. There are probably plenty of entries that were more tame and "normal" that obviously wouldn't have made the cut because they wouldn't really add much to the book. And of course the book would have been extrememly long if the had every single submission, but I wished they had chose to highlight some more "boring" submissions that I know they got. Sure, it wouldn't have made things as exciting talking about basic couple sex and relationships, but it would have made the overall book feel less curated. There were just times where the book felt too unrealistic of a look at sex when the whole book is about being honest from every angle. It was more like honest from only the interesting angles. Maybe this is too harsh of a criticism, but I was hoping there would have been a bit more realness present. It's like the say with porn- it's not real, and obviously it isn't, but I think in a way the same thing is true about this book. No, not everyone is doing poppers and going to wild sex parties and sleeping with five people a night. Sure, some people are, but most people have a lot more mundane sex lives than what seems to be highlighted. Which is why my favorite entries were the ones that felt more brutally honest- like talking about how some people never have orgasms in their lives or the ones talking about sexual frustration with partners that don't always take care of those needs. Sure, they weren't always as fun to read, but it felt more realistic and I appreciated those entries the most.

I also felt that there were a few sections of the book, that although were important to add, had a lot of entries that didn't really have anything to do with sex. I think the mental health section was the biggest offender of the group, although it wasn't the only one that had that issue. I don't hate that these chapters were included, because I think the relationship between sex and mental health is huge and important to talk about, but it didn't make sense when there were entries that just purely talked about depression without any mention of sex or relationships at all. No offense, but if I wanted to read a book about depression, I'd just do that? It felt like the topic strayed a bit too far sometimes, when there could have been plenty of things to talk about that DO connect the two.

This book ended up taking me a while to read, partially because it's so long and its content is better to be read in smaller chunks so that you can absorb and reflect on it. Especially near the end of the book where the most serious topics are present. The book does not end on a fun note- that's where you get the conversations about assault, rape, child loss, and aging. Things that can be incredibly hard to read about for some people. Of course, they are very important topics, and I'm glad the book included them, because it would have felt extremely odd for a this book to omit those stories. But it does make it really hard to get through to the end, especially in one sitting. I did power through that part to get it over with, but it's because of things like this that it took so long for me to finish the book. In fact because the book ends on such a serious note I felt way worse once I finished the book than when I started it. I started the book interested, excited, and hopeful to learn. But once I finished I just felt depressed and like I had only managed to learn what not to do rather than what to do. Quite an experience, that's for sure! I know I mentioned earlier that if I reread this in the future I would probably get something new out of it, and I stand by that. But I don't want to reread any of this again. If I wanted to hear a bunch of stories like this I could probably go to any old online forum and get the same exact experience just minus the curated filter, which might even be better than this.

Actually, those Cut asks 100 people videos are 10000 times better at actually showing a very even and open view of sexual topics (among other things) and are only a few minutes long.

[Kait · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Every Body truly lives up to its name: in terms of topics covered, it's one of the most comprehensive books about sex that I've ever read. It takes a truly wholistic view of all that's related the topic, from the expected (e.g. sex toys, assault, etc) to the less commonly associated (e.g. abortion, aging). If it's related to sex, there's a story in here.

That storytelling is where both the book's strength and its weakness lies.

First, the strength: the book provides the massive dose of empathy and shared reality you feel as you read the book. It's a powerful reminder that, when it comes to sex, there's no "normal" only more or less common. That, if you've thought it or done it, someone else out there has too. That you are NOT alone.

The stories also ensure you go on a full emotional journey. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be shocked, disgusted, relieved, and everything around and in-between.

The storytelling is also the downside to this book. These are (presumably) uncensored accounts of real people's sexual experiences. With that comes a few things. First, the need for ALL the content warnings, and not always or necessarily in the sections you'd expect. Second, the reminder that this is NOT an educational book. Just because it's shared doesn't mean it's a healthy, safe, or satisfying idea. I do wish the authors had reminded us of that throughout. Third, a lack of values structure that leaves the reader making their own values judgments. These stories will challenge you and while I understand the editorial decision to NOT provide commentary, I do feel like some could have used a little bit more, even in the form of resources recommendations which they did once or twice but not consistently and not, in my opinion, on some stories (e.g. Dick) that could have really, REALLY used one.

The world needs more honest stories about sex. Rothman and Feinberg compiled them and left few, if any stones unturned. This book will challenge you in one moment and then give you a warm hug in the next. Its certainly a book I'll recommend to clients and friends, with a heavy heads up AND the reminder that they can skip sections as needed.

[annasbookplanet · Rating 5 out of 5]

Klappentext
EVERY BODY berührt auf intime Weise. Dies ist das erste allumfassende Buch zur menschlichen Sexualität und Körperwahrnehmung in all seiner göttlichen Vielfalt. Es lädt spielerisch-abwechslungsreich ein zum Dialog mit anderen und sich selbst. Zutiefst persönliche Geschichten, spannende Reportagen und kurzweilige Interviews mit Körper-Experten der verschiedensten Disziplinen vereinen sich hier zu einem faszinierenden Mosaik der Möglichkeiten sexueller Identitäten gerahmt von wunderschönen, humorvollen und auch unverstellt expliziten Illustrationen. Witzig, verstörend, traurig, schön. Das Themenspektrum ist so divers wie die Wirklichkeit: erste Male, die offene Beziehung, ungewollte Schwangerschaft, Sexspielzeuge, Lust, Ängste und Traumata. Was wir über Sex wissen wollten und nicht zu fragen wagten: Hier gibt es intime Einblicke, berührende Geschichten und großartige Kunst zum Staunen, Mitfühlen und Verstehen.

Meine Meinung
Das Cover des Buches finde ich total cool. Es passt hervorragend zur Thematik des Buches.

„Every Body“ ist ein vielfältiges Buch über die menschliche Sexualität. Das Buch enthält viele kurze Geschichte zu vielen verschiedenen Themen, Essays und Comics. Zudem ist das Buch mit vielen Illustrationen verschiedenster Künstler/Illustratoren ausgestattet. Die Aufmachung und Vielfalt ist wirklich großartig!

Das Buch ist viel mehr als eine reine Sammlung von Sexgeschichten. Dieses Buch ist auch Aufklärung, steht für Diversität und einen offenen, unbefangenen Umgang mit Sex! Es geht darum seinen Körper zu lieben, um sexuelle Identität, sexuell übertragbare Krankheiten, Fruchtbarkeit, Abtreibung, Fetische, sexuelle Übergriffe und vieles mehr. Ich glaube so ziemlich jeder Erwachsene findet sich in irgendeiner der zahlreichen Geschichten wieder, fühlt sich verstanden, merkt wie normal die eigene Sexualität ist und das man mit gewissen Vorlieben nicht allein ist. Denn Sex und Sexualität sind so vielseitig und vielfältig wie die Menschen selbst – das zeigt dieses Buch auf ganz großartige Weise!

Vermutlich muss man offen für dieses Buch sein. Aber wenn man dies ist, dann wird man sicher genauso gut von dem Buch unterhalten wie ich. Die Geschichten bringen einen wirklich zum Schmunzeln oder bewegen, wenn man nur bereit ist sich darauf einzulassen.

Fazit
„Every Body“ ist ein vielfältiges Buch über die menschliche Sexualität, das für Diversität und einen offenen, unbefangenen Umgang mit Sex steht!

[Evanelly Gomez · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book captivated me the second I picked it up at the book store. I opened it to a random page and I could not put it back onto the shelf. That’s how I knew it was a book I had to buy it asap & that when I did read it it was going to be a really good book. Indeed it was, it was so informative and interesting. I was fascinated and at points left with wishing the stories shared were longer, I needed more. I wish the book itself was longer, that’s the one bad thing I can say about it. Which is very telling of just how much I liked it. I already enjoy reading about sex education and health and people’s stories on that subject and this book had all of that into one with cute little pictures and comics in between. The stories I got the privilege to read were so real and honest and just exactly what I enjoy reading because it’s human. It’s human experiences that when shared it allows other humans to learn that they’re human too and it’s okay to have these thoughts, experiences, feelings, and everything else that makes us human. This book is all of that rolled into one. I cannot stress enough that although they were sharing anonymous stories they had in between stories of people who shared their names and with it their personal journey on whatever topic the chapter was on. It would lead to information about that certain topic which would also blend into the next subject that the book was about to touch on. I couldn’t stop reading it, it’s highly entertaining which is so great. A fun book that I’m also learning from, please I wish all books could be that way.

[adiantum · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really cool concept for a book: the authors asked questions relating to sex and sexuality online and on the street and then made a book compiling thousands of answers. This book, in a lot of ways, did what I felt like Girl Sex by Peggy Orenstein was trying to do: provide readers with a ton of testimonies from a ton of people with different backgrounds. The main differences are that a) this book is ONLY those stories, and so the author’s condescension/judgement that came through in Girl Sex is absent here, and b) the stories represent a MUCH broader spectrum of experiences.

I personally most appreciated the discussion of bodies that deviate from the “norm” in sex conversations— queer, intersex, older, and disabled bodies were naturally and fluidly included. I was also very glad to see that the book also shared stories about fetish, porn, and sex workers.

The book is also filled with beautiful illustrations of various moments of intimacy from a bunch of different artists, which really pair well with the different stories and perspectives.

I think the only thing I would change is adding a couple of content warnings. Sexual assault stories were given their own separate chapter, which I appreciated, but some stories that I found a bit jarring (like incest) were not labeled or separated in any way. I can see why the authors did this, because the point of the book is to show how experience varies so much across humanity, but I personally might have flagged those somehow.

[Aus Liebe zum Lesen · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Every Body – Eine faszinierende Reise durch unsere Welt der sexuellen Lust und Identität” der beiden NY-Times Kolumnistinnen Julia Rothman und Shaina Feinberg sammelt die Sex-Stories unzähliger Menschen aus aller Herren Länder.

Aber dieses Buch ist viel mehr als eine bloße Sammlung von Geschichten über Sex. Angefangen bei der Aufklärung, über das erste Mal, Masturbation, Dating, Fetische, Geschlechtskrankheiten, Sexarbeit, Schwangerschaft bis hin zu Missbrauch zeigt das Buch die unterschiedlichsten Herangehensweisen, Gedanken und Erfahrungen von unterschiedlichsten Menschen auf.

Die meist anonymen Erzähler berichten offen und schonungslos ehrlich von ihren Erlebnissen in Erfahrungsberichten, Essays, Interviews und Comics und zeigen, wie vielfältig die Menschheit ist. Während ich an manchen Stellen dachte, „ja genau“, habe ich an anderen Stellen nur mit dem Kopf geschüttelt und an wieder anderen Stellen gelacht, gestaunt und gegrübelt.

Die größte Stärke des Buchs ist definitiv die Diversität und damit die Abbildung möglichst verschiedener Menschen und Aspekte. Ich hätte mir gewünscht, dieses Buch schon 20 Jahre früher gelesen zu haben, weil es meinem jugendlichen Ich gutgetan hätte, zu sehen, dass ich mit vielen Gedanken und Gefühlen rund um meine Sexualität, Liebe und meinen Körper nicht allein bin.

Was neben den Texten die Vielschichtigkeit des Buches noch hervorhebt, sind die Illustrationen, die sich durch das ganze Buch ziehen und mal subtil, mal plakativ das abbilden, was die Texte verlauten lassen.

[Anastasia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think a book like this is important to exist. I'm glad it exists. It's an approachable way to understand sex and relationships, and allows you to read about those experiencing things differently (sometimes very different) than yourself and that is one of the highlights of being a curious human.

I'm a strange human in that I enjoy learning about people but I also don't care enough or want to know what people do in their own lives, so this type of book allowed me to say, skip, the whole section on fetishes and instead read about the queer community. However, it is kind of like reading a bunch of Reddit forums, and I don’t know what I expected. It’s insightful even though some of the quotes and stories are questionable and made me hope those people ended up in therapy.

I will admit as someone with all of Rothman’s books this was much more NSFW than I anticipated visually, but I appreciate seeing other artists highlighted. I didn’t read this cover to cover and hesitated including this as a “read” book, but I feel like it’s the type of book to be skimmed and read at your leisure.

[Martha Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came across this book on my first in-person, post-pandemic visit to my favorite bookstore. In a feat of true self-control, this was my only purchase. I am so pleased with the selection. I have been reading a little bit of this each morning with my coffee, learning and having my firm belief in the importance of sex education and a space for honest, non-judgmental conversation about sexuality reaffirmed with each page. I wish that this had been around when I was a teenager with questions I didn't even know I had. By the end of it the only complaint I had was that there were not more chapters or that certain chapters weren't longer (fertility, pregnancy, aging, sexuality and alcohol, sexuality and drugs, sexuality and immigration, so many more). I do realize the authors had to move on with their life and not spend the rest of it on this book. Maybe a volume 2...?

[Cam-Tu Tomkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderfully curated and beautiful, heartbreaking, adventurous, empowering, agonizing and all shapes, colours and sizes of sex and intimacy stories.

This book is like talking to your best friend about some of the deepest sex secrets and desires and fantasies you never talked about - until now. Sometimes, it’s a confessional where only that person and their higher power are in the know. And at times, some entries want complete anonymity.

The only thing I wish I had seen more of was more diverse voices. They explain in the data they collected (can be read in the introduction) that they went to all sorts of spaces and mainly white, cis, heterosexual women and men shared their stories. There are some stories interspersed throughout with persons who identify as different abled, ethnicities, religions, gender identify and sexual orientation, but those voices are the few.

[Suzanne Ondrus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful book! Largely anonymous, covering sex ed, religion and sex, sex clubs, non-consensual sex, fetishes, and Covid and sex.... With some of the topics or stories one really gets to travel places, some are shocking. The artwork from various contemporary artists is phenomenal. This would make a great wedding/pre-wedding present! The writings range from 50-1000 words- the majority are on the shorter side. This project shows the power of personal stories to educate, provide awareness and to open up dialogues. This would be excellent for a sex, gender, and women's studies class, and surely the students would read, read, read.