The Secret Language of Girls

The Secret Language of Girls #1

by Frances O'Roark Dowell

In the old days, when Kate had no interest in romance, she never cared what other people thought. Now, it appeared, love was turning her into a rotten human being.
Eleven-year-old Kate Faber wishes she could talk to her best friend, Marylin, about this. But Marylin is no longer her best friend. Or is she? Kate and Marylin were always the kind of best friends who lived on the same block for their entire lives, and who agreed on what kinds of boys were worth kissing and who should be invited to their sleepover. The kind of best friends who didn't need words to talk, but who always just knew.
But lately Marylin has started to think that Kate can be a bit babyish. And Kate thinks Marylin is acting like a big snob. Somehow nothing is the same, but secretly Kate and Marylin both wish it could be...

Genres: Realistic Fiction, Middle Grade, Fiction, Young Adult, Friendship, Childrens, Contemporary

247 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

While Frances O'Roark Dowell (Dovey Coe, The Secret Language of Girls, Trouble the Water) is best known for her award-winning novels, she also hosts the popular "Off-Kilter Quilt" podcast, where she talks about her latest quilt projects with friends and fellow quilters around the globe. Her own little corner of the globe is Durham, North Carolina, where she lives with her husband, two sons, and a dog named Travis. Connect with her online at FrancesDowell.com.

Reviews

[TulahF · Rating 2 out of 5]

It seems that people are only popular because they are unstable with who they are, and if they ‘fit in’. Popular kids act all cool around others, but on the inside they are asking if the other person likes them.

In my book Marylin doesn’t think she is pretty, or smart, and she insults herself a lot about dumb things like her toes, lowering her self confidence. Then when she gets the chance to become a cheerleader, she drops her whole life and best friend Kate who has helped her through many tough times that only friendship and junk food could cure.

People strive to be popular, and when we get the chance to be that way, we let go everything that kept us who we were in the past. It’s like the want to be cool is a disease that takes our mind over, and we will do anything to cure it. But the thing is, the disease only lasts for a little while, yet we will give up the things we have been clinging onto our whole lives for stabilization to have a few minutes of sweet fame.

Marylin ends up wanting to get Kate back as a friend, but thats hard to do because Kate already moved on.

Popular kids think since they become cool, or ‘in’, the world stops exactly how they left it, so they can always jump back into their old lives. Once you destroy something though, it takes work to build it up again.

Marylin has to take the initiative to get Kate back on her side, because she feels totally lost with herself, and guilty that she ever threw Kate away like an old shirt.

The price we pay for popular seems way bigger than to just stay who you are. We pay the price though, and then we are in debt, because when you are popular, people expect so much of you. They expect you to always look great, always diss the nerds or weird kids, and to always be on top of things. Why would we want to do these things? As a kid, it seems a lot to be held for.

Marylin gets tired of her cheerleader ‘friends’ insulting the boy she secretly likes, just because he is crippled. A lot of kids have disabilities, and yet the popular kids still think it is ‘weird’ and that it reflects who they are on the inside.

But what really is normal? Are kids expected to want to get the ‘disease’ to become popular? I think normal is being a little shaky about some things, because then you are forced to make changes or face challenges, which always happens when you are an adult.

In the end, being who you are, even with your doubts, seems like a better choice than to become popular, and give up everything you know. And besides, who would want a few days of fame when you could have a life-long friend?

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like Lynne Rae Perkins'ALL ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE, I wish I'd read this back in 6th grade, in the moments when I first learned that a friendship could end, and break your heart as it does.

I loved the dual voices in this - loved that the author showed the friend doing the outgrowing (and how uncertain it all felt) and leaving behind, not just the friend left behind.

This one stays on my shelves for a re-read, and I'd recommened it to anyone trying to authentically write the small but oh-so-important dramas of tween life.

[Tori I · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am currently reading The Secret Language of Girls by: Frances O'Roark Dowell. This book is the one you are supposed to read before you read The Kind of Friends We Used To Be. This book was practically made for girls who love fiction and that's why this book wanted me to keep reading it. Not only is Frances O'Roark Dowell a great author, the really understands what Middle School girls lives are like! I'm glad there is sequel because I love the book Mrs. Dowell writes. I will warn you once you start reading this you put this book down. It becomes the only thing you want to do. This book should be rated - in my opinion - five stars because it is ridiculously amazing. There is only a few ways I can relateto though. Here it is I can relate to how Kate feels when Marylin left Kate for a different group of girls- I am not going to say how that was because they might get offended if they read my review. Even though I am only on page one hundered seventy two, this book is really outstandingly amazing.

[Maggie Hundshamer-Moshier · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t think this was a bad book, I just didn’t understand what it’s purpose was. There wasn’t a “plot”. It contained no arc to overcome either. The writing was solid and accurate to girls of that age, but just didn’t really make sense as a book to me personally.

[Allison Renner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. It captures so much about being eleven - the transitions that are happening as well as being apprehensive about the ones coming too soon, deciding between being yourself and fitting in, juggling friendships, family, and relationships. It's excellently written, and made me think a lot about my own experience. The beginning was a little confusing because a lot of names were mentioned without you knowing if the adults were parents or neighbors, and if "Max" was a little brother or a pet. Everything was quickly clarified, and the characters quickly became real people. I wish I could have been friends with them at that age (or even now!).

[Nora Wilcox · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think that this book is a pretty good book for readers that like romance and friendship. The parts I did not like about this book were the parts when the girls where arguing after the party. One thing I do like about this book is it really shows how us girls react to each other in different occasions.This book is difficult for the girls because they all have different personality's. I would recommend this book for my friend, Charlene because she likes friendship and maybe a little bit of romance. I would not continue reading the series because I think the series might have the same story but just different words.

[Noome · Rating 4 out of 5]

The secret language of girls was a really good book, I really enjoyed reading it. its basically about two girls name Kate and Marylin they were best friends basically there whole life. One day a girl name Flannery moved into the neighborhood and sundelly everything changed. Flannery and Marylin started to ignore Kate. Kate, Marylin and other students were chosen for the best writer in 6th grade but still Marylin wouldnt talk to Kate. About a few weeks of ignoring her they finally stated talking to her. Marylin wanted to join the cheer-leading but she had to try out first, she made the tryouts and she also made some new friends. Robbie was on the cheer squad and she and Marykin we like best-friends so Robbie wrote a note to Kate saying that someone from school wanted to go to the movies with her, they put the letter in Kates mail box and good thing Marylins little brother got the letter out before Kate saw it. So a mini throw back Marylins parents were getting a deforce so things were a little difficult the her and he little brother.

[Ashton Rios · Rating 5 out of 5]

I remember walking through the library as a kid and wanting to read this book because it was the buzz of the book clubs at the time. I never did, because I never wanted to seem like I was interested in more stereotypically “girly” topics or plots. This was a nice way of healing my inner child a bit.

I love how the characters aren’t as two-dimensional as I thought they would be. So little is said, yet it conveys more than if the book was twice the length it actually is. Maybe I’m caught up in my inner child celebrating, but I could see my own childhood in these characters, especially in Kate. I loved every second of it.

[Aly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was a pretty accurate portrayal of how preteen girls can be, at least what I remember of that age. Fighting with friends, trying to fit in, first crushes, it's all in there. My favorite character was Petey, Marilyn's younger brother, and how he tried to figure out girls and their motives.

[Sam Duffy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book so many times as a kid. Very classic coming-of-age story. Has a special place in my heart

[Danielle R. · Rating 5 out of 5]

With only 247 pages this book is a magor go for me. I own the 2nd book in this series and it was amazing only I was longing to read this book so I borrowed it from a teacher. Their are really 3 main characters. Kate, Flannery and Marylin.Marylin is a girly girl and is coming up in school. She becomes a cheerleader and stops hanging out with her best friend Kate until they almost don't know each other anymore and keep longing for the other. Kate is a tomboy and she starts to find love. She doesn't know what to do and she is scared but doesn't want to ask Marylin. She also starts to figure out that love and the life she has just don't mix. Flannery is the new girl on the block and she causes nothing but trouble. She keeps excluding Kate. She also keeps leading Marylin on to the path of misery and she doesn't even know it. I gave it its deserving 5 stars because it lives up to its name that causes a lot of drama. This book reminded me of a lot of things but it reminded me mostly of how life throws opsticals but that as long as we have family and friends then we can get through it... to the end. I felt as though the ending was kinda left off and that it created a lot of questions but also that it was amazing because it keeps you wondering things that will never get answered but also some things are answered.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book The secret Language of Girls By: Frances O'Roark Dowell the main characters are kate and marylin.The conflict in this book is Kate and Marylin who have been best friends since their memory can remember are broken apart and don't know how to get back together when both know they want to be friends again but neither will show it to eachother.
This book was a great book because it's modern day and easy to connect to.I would recommend this book to anyone in sixth or seventh grade because you will relate to it.If you do end up reading this book then trust me if your smeone like me then you won't be able to stop turning the pages to see what will happen next.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is MADE for girls who love fiction. It is marked under romance and I like the fiction/romance mix, and that's why this book was practically made for me. Not only is Frances O'Roark Dowell a great author, the really understands what Middle school girl's life's are like! My least favorite part of the book is the end, though. I would not end it that way because people want to keep reading. I hope there is/will be a sequel because I want to see what happens next! I will warn you- once you start reading this, Girls- You put this book down. It becomes addictive.

[Kris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not a middle school-aged girl. I think I was in junior high at one time, though that was so very long ago. But the things in this story seem like the kind of things girls in middle school (even my stone-age school) would have been dealing with. The early teen years are when so many kids are figuring out who they are, who they want to be, who they want to be friends with. (Not Paisley, though; she seems to have herself all figured out!)
The dynamics of Marilyn/Marylin and Kate's friendship reminded me a lot of my little sister's experiences as a young teen. She had two best friends, and they took turns being mad at each other and not speaking to each other and making up, only to go through it all over again. Reading this book made me think of her, and miss her once again.

[Stacie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author: Frances O'Roark Dowell
Title: Secret Language of Girls
Plot: "In the old days, when Kate had no interest in romance, she never cared what other people thought. Now, it appeared, love was turning her into a rotten human being.
Eleven-year-old Kate Faber wishes she could talk to her best friend, Marylin, about this. But Marylin is no longer her best friend. Or is she? Kate and Marylin were always the kind of best friends who lived on the same block for their entire lives, and who agreed on what kinds of boys were worth kissing and who should be invited to their sleepover. The kind of best friends who didn't need words to talk, but who always just knew.
But lately Marylin has started to think that Kate can be a bit babyish. And Kate thinks Marylin is acting like a big snob. Somehow nothing is the same, but secretly Kate and Marylin both wish it could be..." (amazon.com)

Characters: Kate and Marylin
Setting: Present Day
POV: 3rd

Theme: Best friends, growing up, growing apart, forgiveness
Style: Chapter Book
Copyright: 2005

Notes: What an AWESOME book. I think this does a great job of telling the story of 2 best friends who all of a sudden aren't best friends anymore. I would suggest that all girls read this book.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kate and Marilyn have been friends since nursery school. However, that friendship is challenged during their sixth grade year. Marilyn hates her toes, changes the spelling of her name to Marylin, cares about what other people think of her, and feels Kate needs to grow up a little bit. Kate loves playing basketball, likes to write, prefers reading over watching TV., and doesn’t understand why people want to be popular.

When Flannery, a girl in the 7th grade, moves into their neighborhood, Kate & Marylin’s relationship is put to a test. However, things take a definite change for them when Marylin becomes a cheerleader and the two friends begin to hang out with different social circles. When a practical joke is planned for Kate, Marylin decides to secretly warn her despite not being allowed to talk to her anymore due to her new friends. At the end, there is a hint that these 2 will remain friends.

This is a realistic view of 2 friends who are challenged by their peers and that they can still manage to hang on to their friendship. I think a lot of girls will be able to relate to these 2 and decide whether to stay true to yourself or become swayed by others.

[H · Rating 3 out of 5]

An above average story of two best friends who find themselves going their separate ways when they move on to middle school. One becomes a cheerleader, another follows her own more individualistic track. Dowell is a good writer who crafts believable, very real feeling girls. My only quibbles: 1) not sure modern girls will really get the whole 45 minutes on the phone thing - I'm not sure if they still DO that! 2) why does the girl who decides to become a cheerleader always have to be depicted as either mean or a girl who sets aside her own identity to be part of the in-crowd? The problem is while I think the "cheerleader" stereotype is there for a reason, I see more girls in our modern era who pursue it as a sport - and most girls who make the cheer squad cheer and train from a very young age. I'd love to see someone take on the more modern cheer squad girl and not use it as a shortcut to show a girl who is unsure in herself who lets "mean girls" take over her decisions..... But still, I think 5th/6th grade girls will love this book.

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eleven-year-old Kate and Marylin used to be best friends, but now they look at the world differently. Marylin wants to be a cheerleader and have boyfriends and use makeup, but Kate is happy just playing basketball with the boys. Marylin thinks that discussion of kissing is interesting, but when caught up in a kissing game, she is uncomfortable. Third and fourth graders who read the kissing chapter might be uncomfortable, too.

This story suffers from a multiple-point-of-view problem. The POV changes so often, and there are so many characters narrating, that the reader never gets attached to any one character. Also, since the book was written in 2004, there is a striking lack of electronics in the students. They make calls on a home phone, write phone numbers on the wall of the closet, and have no iPods or cell phones. This book would be good for 4th and 5th grade girls if not for all the boyfriend-girlfriend kissing.

[Marian · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I've fallen for many 'my best friend turned on me and I don't know why' books, I really enjoyed this one because unlike so many others, Kate doesn't completely lose herself after Marylin moves on. She still tries to hang on to their old friendship, but Kate finds other things and other people to fill the void and never has a big emotional breakdown or confrontation with her former best friend. Truthfully, I might have loved the addition of that, but it didn't fit Kate as a character, so the book didn't need it.

Extra bonus points for not making Kate a saint or Marylin completely horrible. Even as Marylin does fairly awful [all things considered:] to her former friend, and lets other people do things too, it's still possible to feel badly for her ten pages down the road.

I wish I'd hate Kate and even Marylin around when I was eleven.

[Adamaris Jauregui · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was about two girls named Marylin and Kate that had been friends since they were babies and when they got to 6th grade/middle school everything changed.They both were friends in the being of the year then Marylin started to hang out with Flarrney a girl that was not a kind and Marylin began to be mean to Kate and then they went their separate ways.I really enjoyed this book because it was a book that in the situation that Marylin and Kate were in that is something that could happen in real life.I also like the book because it showed how easy it can be to stop a friendship but how hard it can be to get it back.I would recommend this book to almost anyone I would mostly recommend this to a person that likes to read book that would have to do with friendship and being friends.

[Rstolworthy4 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kate Faber wanted to talk with her friend, Marilyn. But, Marilyn was no longer best friends with Kate and has practically known her her whole life. So, Marilyn knew she still wanted to be friends with Kate, her only problem was her other friends were getting in the way of their friendship. Then, Kate's old friends had gotten into the way of their friendship told Marilyn to trick her but she refused, and then Kate found out and they were good friends again.
The Secret Language of Girls is about, friendship, sorrow and drama.

[Sophia.712 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a fast easy read but i liked it. The author picked a very relatable problem to write about which i liked because you could tell what the character was going through. I normally don't like books in third person because i get confused but this book i didn't mid the fact that there was no I said or I did.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just o.k. Two girls Kate and Marylin are best friends. But things change when they enter 6th grade and middle school politics take over. Friends and interests change for both girls. Somewhat unbelievable ending.

[Elizabeth P · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought it was sad and happy at the same time.

[Lilli]

This looks like an interesting book....

[Sydney Miller · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was very relatable and good in the beginning but as it went on I lost interest. There isn't anything exciting that happens and I overall didnt really like it.

[Justina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I rarely write a review but this book is amazing and it made me so sad and I love it.

[Mikayla O'Neill · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Secret Language of Girls by Frances O’Roark Dowell is a realistic fiction novel that anyone reading the book can easily relate to. The story goes through the lives of two neighbors, Kate and Marylin, who have been best friends since they were born. But when the girls start sixth grade, they seem to be drifting apart, an event that neither of the girls thought they would ever encounter. After entering this new grade, Marylin is only focused on her appearance, whereas Kate is more concerned with the health of her father who suffered from a heart attack at an early age. Throughout the novel, the girls make choices they never thought they would make, such as Marylin joining the cheerleading team and Kate deciding to make new friends at school after feeling deserted by Marylin. In their school year, the girls experiment with new friends, falling in love, and joining new clubs. Towards the end of the novel, both of the girls realize they have changed into people they never thought they would be, and they start to wonder what happened to their old friendship.

I enjoyed this novel to the extent that I did because of the recurring theme that was present throughout the story. Dowell wrote the characters in such a way that I felt as if I connected with the characters to a large extent. When the girls were younger and were the best of friends, it felt as if everything was perfect and nothing could go wrong. But when the girls started to drift apart from one another and did not do as much together, it made me realize how much of the story had been taken away. Finally, when they started to understand how much of their lives were missing without one another, it made me as a reader feel as if the last piece of the puzzle was found. The theme in this story is that no matter what happens along the way, your true friends will always be waiting for you at the end of it all. “Kate, I’m really sorry about what happened in sixth grade. Can we be friends again?” (Dowell 232). This quote shows that your most loyal friends will be with you through thick and thin, no matter the circumstances.

Will Kate and Marylin become friends again, or will they keep their new lives the same? Will they realize the mistakes they made, or will they completely forget each other for the rest of their lives? Read The Secret Language of Girls by Frances O’Roark Dowell to see if the girls make up and continue their friendship like they had when they were younger.

The Secret Language of Girls
By Frances O’Roark Dowell

[J.X. · Rating 4 out of 5]

An endearing look into middle school life, reminiscent of Baby-Sitters Club and so on. The format is interesting, a series of scattered snippets from the lives of Kate and Marylin throughout their sixth grade rather than a single story divided into chapters. The author's age shows in the world the girls inhabit; it might not hit with a modern audience with things like landlines and slam books and terms like "Geeksville", Kate's dreams of being the first girl in the NBA (the WNBA was created in 1996), but if one assumes the setting is the late 70s or early 80s when the author was their age, it works perfectly.

My only caveat is that the tense changes in the last chapter from past to present. I always prefer tense to stay consistent throughout the book, but this might have been done for effect. Who knows? Either way, it's certainly not enough to stop me from wanting to pick up the sequel sometime. Hopefully it finds our two co-protagonists doing well.

[Stella Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

The secret language of girls is an amazing book, if you are interested in romance, drama, then I really recommend reading this book. My favorite character is Marilyn because she has a similar personality & style as me. Even though Marilyn was not really nice to Kate at one point of the book, Marilyn is still my favorite character in the book. I really don’t have a least favorite character but I do I have a least favorite part of the book, it is when Marilyn reveals that Marilyn has a crush on a nature studies teacher, when she is litterally 11 years old. I can compare and contrast Marilyn & Kate because Marilyn is a girly girl that is into, love, cheerleading, nail polish, etc. However, Kate is to r opposite of Marilyn, Kate is a tomboy, she dislikes dresses, cheerleading, love, etc. Since this book was the first book I really liked from the beginning I rate it a 5/5.