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Listen Well, Lead Better: Becoming the Leader People Want to Follow
Why do so many leaders prioritize their speaking skills when communication studies show we spend more time listening than reading, writing, or speaking? The reality is, most people are below-average listeners, and it's keeping them and their team members from reaching their potential.In Listen Well, Lead Better, Steve and Becky Harling share 10 practices that will help you be a more effective listener and leader. Learn how to ask better questions, make people feel heard and valued, and create an open and positive culture. Strong listeners also enjoy greater credibility, navigate conflicts better, and foster more engaged teams. Above all, the lessons here will help you hear from God more clearly and gain his wisdom on all matters in life. Becoming a better listener will transform how you lead and relate to everyone.
- GenresBusinessLeadership
181 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 7, 2020
26 people are currently reading
101 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
January 7, 2020
In Listen Well, Lead Better, authors Becky and Steve Harling have given us a great resource. Packed with practical information, this book is entertaining and thought-provoking. Based on solid Biblical teaching, the authors share with humility and wisdom as they equip leaders to engage with others. Definitely a book every leader needs to have in their library.
April 16, 2020
Listen Well, Lead Better: Becoming the Leader People Want to Follow by [Steve Harling, Becky Harling]Listen Well Lead Better is a resource book for those that desire to lead people whether in the church or in other areas of life. If a person is to be a good leader, they need to learn to listen to those around them.
This book, by Steve and Becky Harling, shares ten ideas to help develop this skill. The Harlings are a married couple who have lead people through ministry, nonprofit organization, or through speaking to groups. They take turns sharing experiences and downfalls they have experienced, as well as insights they gained throughout their lives.
Each chapter begins with a question that a leader can ask their team plus there are questions to help a person become grow in strengths and become aware of weaknesses.
I am giving this book to my husband who is a leader in his employment and a teacher at church to help him become a better leader.
I received this book from Bethany House Publishers. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
This book, by Steve and Becky Harling, shares ten ideas to help develop this skill. The Harlings are a married couple who have lead people through ministry, nonprofit organization, or through speaking to groups. They take turns sharing experiences and downfalls they have experienced, as well as insights they gained throughout their lives.
Each chapter begins with a question that a leader can ask their team plus there are questions to help a person become grow in strengths and become aware of weaknesses.
I am giving this book to my husband who is a leader in his employment and a teacher at church to help him become a better leader.
I received this book from Bethany House Publishers. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
January 9, 2020
Listening is a key component of good leadership and this book does a great job demonstrating the benefits.
Listening is a crucial action that everyone has the ability to do. Unfortunately, people don’t always view the true value of it. More focus is typically put on speaking skills and other actions, but so much more can be learned through simple listening. In Listen Well, Lead Better, Steve and Becky Harling outline different areas of listening that are beneficial to everyone. In addition, they also provide personal stories of what they’ve learned from listening as well as times when they didn’t listen. Scripture is also provided throughout each chapter to support the biblical truths of listening.
My husband is a partner in an engineering/architecture firm and has had the benefit of attending leadership conferences. He also read this book and said that it contains everything that is in multiple books that he has read. However, most leadership books have a chapter dedicated to listening and he liked that there was a book dedicated to the entire topic. He agrees that listening is very crucial to leadership. To resolve conflict between employees or to have a crucial conversation with a coworker, you need to really listen to understand what is going on. Not listening to respond but to understand. I love how this book gives questions to ask people that you may be a leader of as well as self-reflection questions. Sometimes I dread getting a book like this to review because I think it is going to be a slow pace, but this moved quickly and stayed interesting. This should be a book on every current and potential leader’s bookshelf.
I received a complimentary copy of this title from the publisher. The views and opinions expressed within are my own.
Listening is a crucial action that everyone has the ability to do. Unfortunately, people don’t always view the true value of it. More focus is typically put on speaking skills and other actions, but so much more can be learned through simple listening. In Listen Well, Lead Better, Steve and Becky Harling outline different areas of listening that are beneficial to everyone. In addition, they also provide personal stories of what they’ve learned from listening as well as times when they didn’t listen. Scripture is also provided throughout each chapter to support the biblical truths of listening.
My husband is a partner in an engineering/architecture firm and has had the benefit of attending leadership conferences. He also read this book and said that it contains everything that is in multiple books that he has read. However, most leadership books have a chapter dedicated to listening and he liked that there was a book dedicated to the entire topic. He agrees that listening is very crucial to leadership. To resolve conflict between employees or to have a crucial conversation with a coworker, you need to really listen to understand what is going on. Not listening to respond but to understand. I love how this book gives questions to ask people that you may be a leader of as well as self-reflection questions. Sometimes I dread getting a book like this to review because I think it is going to be a slow pace, but this moved quickly and stayed interesting. This should be a book on every current and potential leader’s bookshelf.
I received a complimentary copy of this title from the publisher. The views and opinions expressed within are my own.
January 13, 2020
[Note: This book was provided free of charge by Bethany House Books. All thoughts and opinions are my own.]
How much self-awareness is enough to write a book like this? As a reader I look at this book with at least two different perspectives. On the one hand, as someone whose communications are frequently awkward, I have to deal with the fact that I do not always listen to others as well as I should and find myself around a lot of people who do not listen to me very well at all. And no doubt that is a common experience. Additionally, though, writing a book like this is setting oneself up for difficulty, because the author appears to believe that his experiences (which include being put to pasture because of a feud he had with the head of a board at a congregation) and his self-education with John Maxwell make him an expert on listening and therefore feeling himself confident to share his insights with the rest of us. And setting oneself up as an expert in graciously listening to others as a way of gaining influence and increasing buy-in for one's own plans and goals gives others rather telling and fierce comebacks if one fails to live up to the standard one has written about so knowledgeably here.
This book is a bit less than 200 pages long and is divided into ten chapters. The book begins with a discussion of listening as a missing ingredient to better influence that many people overlook (1). After that there is a call by the authors for the reader to be more self-aware and less self-obsessed (2). This leads to a discussion about the need to know one's people if one is a church leader, likely the intended audience of this book (3). After that the authors discuss how to give the gifts of trust and empowerment to those one leads (4) and to discern the hidden values that often divide people with broadly similar expressed values (5). After that the authors discuss the need to invite others to help shape one's vision (6). What follow after this are some chapters that deal with areas of communication where people struggle, such as engaging constructively in conflict (7) and looking for the truth in often painful criticism (8). After that the authors discuss the importance of listening to collect stories (9) and finally to create a sacred space to reflect and listen to God (10), after which the book ends with acknowledgments and notes.
That said, it is most important with a book like this to read it and examine it and apply what needful advice it can provide. And this book definitely provides some needful advice on how people can be less self-absorbed and better able to take the time to get to know other and their concerns and to recognize the validity and importance of other perspective aside from one's own. It is lamentable that in our day and age there are so many good books that encourage us to be better leaders by serving and listening and being humble and gracious but it appears that we do such a poor job at practicing that which we believe to be of importance. If this book encourages people to listen better and deal with conflict better and see the truth in criticism it will have done good work. As it is, all too many of us fight rather poorly and are rather thin-skinned when it comes to criticism and can use all the encouragement we can get to become better in such areas. One imagines this is likely true of the book's authors as well.
How much self-awareness is enough to write a book like this? As a reader I look at this book with at least two different perspectives. On the one hand, as someone whose communications are frequently awkward, I have to deal with the fact that I do not always listen to others as well as I should and find myself around a lot of people who do not listen to me very well at all. And no doubt that is a common experience. Additionally, though, writing a book like this is setting oneself up for difficulty, because the author appears to believe that his experiences (which include being put to pasture because of a feud he had with the head of a board at a congregation) and his self-education with John Maxwell make him an expert on listening and therefore feeling himself confident to share his insights with the rest of us. And setting oneself up as an expert in graciously listening to others as a way of gaining influence and increasing buy-in for one's own plans and goals gives others rather telling and fierce comebacks if one fails to live up to the standard one has written about so knowledgeably here.
This book is a bit less than 200 pages long and is divided into ten chapters. The book begins with a discussion of listening as a missing ingredient to better influence that many people overlook (1). After that there is a call by the authors for the reader to be more self-aware and less self-obsessed (2). This leads to a discussion about the need to know one's people if one is a church leader, likely the intended audience of this book (3). After that the authors discuss how to give the gifts of trust and empowerment to those one leads (4) and to discern the hidden values that often divide people with broadly similar expressed values (5). After that the authors discuss the need to invite others to help shape one's vision (6). What follow after this are some chapters that deal with areas of communication where people struggle, such as engaging constructively in conflict (7) and looking for the truth in often painful criticism (8). After that the authors discuss the importance of listening to collect stories (9) and finally to create a sacred space to reflect and listen to God (10), after which the book ends with acknowledgments and notes.
That said, it is most important with a book like this to read it and examine it and apply what needful advice it can provide. And this book definitely provides some needful advice on how people can be less self-absorbed and better able to take the time to get to know other and their concerns and to recognize the validity and importance of other perspective aside from one's own. It is lamentable that in our day and age there are so many good books that encourage us to be better leaders by serving and listening and being humble and gracious but it appears that we do such a poor job at practicing that which we believe to be of importance. If this book encourages people to listen better and deal with conflict better and see the truth in criticism it will have done good work. As it is, all too many of us fight rather poorly and are rather thin-skinned when it comes to criticism and can use all the encouragement we can get to become better in such areas. One imagines this is likely true of the book's authors as well.
February 4, 2020
WHY I CHOOSE THIS BOOK
Learning and growing and becoming more of who God wants me to be is a never-ending pursuit of mine. Learning to listen better seems like a perfect step to take while continuing on this journey. Plus, with my job I sometimes get to do various types of leading, so this book seemed very applicable to my life.
WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BOOK
Short Answer: I really liked it.
Longer Answer: Hello, friends. I have a book that I really like and would be delighted to tell you about. In fact, I’ve already started recommending it to my friends at work. I told my boss all about it – mostly because he’s one of the best leader-listeners I’ve ever met and so the book kept making me think about him.
Every chapter in this book covers a topic that I think would be helpful for anyone – not just the leader, although that is the main focus. The authors (a husband and wife team) share candidly from their own lives, letting us learn from their mistakes, as well as see their victories.
Reading the book will help you discover how you can become more self-aware without becoming self-obsessed (a huge difference), figure out how to view and engage in conflict in a constructive manner, ask helpful questions, and show people that they’re valued. Each chapter ends with a list of questions that you can ask yourself and other people to gauge where you are and help you grow to where you should be.
The last chapter talks about how we should take the time to stop the busyness of life each day and listen to God. I was delighted that they included that, because no matter how successful you are as a leader (or person) and no matter how well you listen to people, if you’re not listening to God, then your life will never be all it can be.
CONCLUSION
I really enjoyed reading this book. It helped me grow, inspired me to listen better, and made me want to give out a dozen copies to friends. It’s equipping, easy to read, and quotes the scriptures to back up the points they’re trying to make.
RATING
I’m giving Listen Well, Lead Better 4 out of 5 stars. I’m so thankful for the generosity of Bethany House Publishers for sending me a copy of this book so I could review it and share it with y’all.
Learning and growing and becoming more of who God wants me to be is a never-ending pursuit of mine. Learning to listen better seems like a perfect step to take while continuing on this journey. Plus, with my job I sometimes get to do various types of leading, so this book seemed very applicable to my life.
WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BOOK
Short Answer: I really liked it.
Longer Answer: Hello, friends. I have a book that I really like and would be delighted to tell you about. In fact, I’ve already started recommending it to my friends at work. I told my boss all about it – mostly because he’s one of the best leader-listeners I’ve ever met and so the book kept making me think about him.
Every chapter in this book covers a topic that I think would be helpful for anyone – not just the leader, although that is the main focus. The authors (a husband and wife team) share candidly from their own lives, letting us learn from their mistakes, as well as see their victories.
Reading the book will help you discover how you can become more self-aware without becoming self-obsessed (a huge difference), figure out how to view and engage in conflict in a constructive manner, ask helpful questions, and show people that they’re valued. Each chapter ends with a list of questions that you can ask yourself and other people to gauge where you are and help you grow to where you should be.
The last chapter talks about how we should take the time to stop the busyness of life each day and listen to God. I was delighted that they included that, because no matter how successful you are as a leader (or person) and no matter how well you listen to people, if you’re not listening to God, then your life will never be all it can be.
CONCLUSION
I really enjoyed reading this book. It helped me grow, inspired me to listen better, and made me want to give out a dozen copies to friends. It’s equipping, easy to read, and quotes the scriptures to back up the points they’re trying to make.
RATING
I’m giving Listen Well, Lead Better 4 out of 5 stars. I’m so thankful for the generosity of Bethany House Publishers for sending me a copy of this book so I could review it and share it with y’all.
January 14, 2020
If we are going to be people who are going to lead well and have influence with those around us, we are going to need to become better listeners.
In their book, Listen Well Lead Better, Steve and Becky Harling share ten practices that will help develop our listening skills.
The book is written with this husband and wife interchangeably sharing their experiences and insights. They transparently tell of their shortcomings in each of their careers and the way they had to change in order to better manage people and teams.
Each chapter gives questions one can ask of their team, so as to better understand how others perceive one's leadership. There are also questions for self-leadership to better help one become aware of their own strengths and weaknesses. Both sets of questions are designed to bring growth and trust between leaders and teams.
While the book is written for leaders in churches, non-profits, and businesses, the information shared is practical and applicable in every area of life. The authors bring a biblical and faith-based approach to gaining better leadership and listening skills.
"Learning to listen really is the key to greater influence!"
(from page 173)
As we learn to listen first to God, and then to others, we come to know ourselves and those around us better. Listening well enables others to know they are deeply valued, grows trust, and leads to everyone thriving.
May we listen with our ears, so we can lead with His heart.
**I received this book from Bethany House Publishers. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
In their book, Listen Well Lead Better, Steve and Becky Harling share ten practices that will help develop our listening skills.
The book is written with this husband and wife interchangeably sharing their experiences and insights. They transparently tell of their shortcomings in each of their careers and the way they had to change in order to better manage people and teams.
Each chapter gives questions one can ask of their team, so as to better understand how others perceive one's leadership. There are also questions for self-leadership to better help one become aware of their own strengths and weaknesses. Both sets of questions are designed to bring growth and trust between leaders and teams.
While the book is written for leaders in churches, non-profits, and businesses, the information shared is practical and applicable in every area of life. The authors bring a biblical and faith-based approach to gaining better leadership and listening skills.
"Learning to listen really is the key to greater influence!"
(from page 173)
As we learn to listen first to God, and then to others, we come to know ourselves and those around us better. Listening well enables others to know they are deeply valued, grows trust, and leads to everyone thriving.
May we listen with our ears, so we can lead with His heart.
**I received this book from Bethany House Publishers. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
January 20, 2020
As one of my first leadership books of 2020 this one has certainly set the bar high for the coming year. In a world of 8 second videos and social media our attention and ability to listen to one another is at an all time low. Husband and wife team, Steve and Becky Harling, bring us back to the foundations of being leaders through listening. Each chapter is engaging with stories from their own leadership successes and experiences, while getting to the root of how to improve one’s self. Additionally, each chapter ends with questions for your team and questions for self-leadership that open up great conversations and immediate areas for focus or improvement.
Each chapter begins with a KEY, such as chapter 1’s: “the secret sauce to your leadership is your ability to listen.” Or chapter 6’s “allow others to help shape the vision.” These simple statements set the tone for the chapter and provide easy reflections to help shape one’s own leadership abilities. Throughout this book, expect tips, stories and facts to help increase your influence on others through your ability to listen. Learn how to listen better to those you lead, and your team and personal success will soar.
*Disclaimer: A review copy was provided by the publisher. All opinions are my own.
Each chapter begins with a KEY, such as chapter 1’s: “the secret sauce to your leadership is your ability to listen.” Or chapter 6’s “allow others to help shape the vision.” These simple statements set the tone for the chapter and provide easy reflections to help shape one’s own leadership abilities. Throughout this book, expect tips, stories and facts to help increase your influence on others through your ability to listen. Learn how to listen better to those you lead, and your team and personal success will soar.
*Disclaimer: A review copy was provided by the publisher. All opinions are my own.
January 16, 2020
Listen Well, Lead Better by both Steve and Becky Harling is a great self-help book. It provides a lot of useful advice for improvement. Listening is a skill that is crucial in our world yet so many of us fail at it. In this book, the writers provide some insight and steps into becoming a better listener. If we listen well, we can become better leaders.
Listening is half of conversing with others. Human being are the biggest social creatures alive. We need to listen as well as talk. I liked that this book, provided body signals that showed if we were listening to someone and how to encourage the talker to continue telling us what they wanted to say. I also loved that the writers have stated this: listening is not agreeing. Exactly! We all have our own ideas, opinions, and beliefs on everything. So, just because we are listening to someone does not mean we agree with what they say. It just means we respect them enough to listen. Also, we cannot talk and not be expected to listen. Overall, it was great book to read.
I received this copy from the publisher. This is my voluntary review.
Listening is half of conversing with others. Human being are the biggest social creatures alive. We need to listen as well as talk. I liked that this book, provided body signals that showed if we were listening to someone and how to encourage the talker to continue telling us what they wanted to say. I also loved that the writers have stated this: listening is not agreeing. Exactly! We all have our own ideas, opinions, and beliefs on everything. So, just because we are listening to someone does not mean we agree with what they say. It just means we respect them enough to listen. Also, we cannot talk and not be expected to listen. Overall, it was great book to read.
I received this copy from the publisher. This is my voluntary review.
January 25, 2020
If you are wondering about the difference in a good leader and an excellent leader, you should find the answer by reading Listen Well, Lead Better. In their new book authors Steve and Becky Harling set out to prove their theory that communication is the key to leading better and that 80 percent of good communication involves listening. There are ten chapters that are packed with practical advice, their personal experiences, and many questions to help you reflect on what you've just read. I especially like that Listen Well, Lead Better also has an abundance of Bible scripture and that the last chapter is devoted to creating a sacred space to reflect and listen to God. Chapter Ten reminds us that 'learning to listen is really the key to influence' and that learning to listen to God is the greatest key of all!
There are a multitude of self-help books about achieving success and Listen Well, Lead Better certainly deserves your attention.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bethany House but there was no obligation for a positive review. There is my honest opinion.
There are a multitude of self-help books about achieving success and Listen Well, Lead Better certainly deserves your attention.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bethany House but there was no obligation for a positive review. There is my honest opinion.
March 4, 2020
I'm currently training to be a Stephen Minister, and one of the main skills I must learn is active listening. This book is helping me understand the how's and why's of listening well, so I can lead better not only as a Stephen Minister, but as a mom, small group leader, and friend.
This is an excellent book for leaders in any organization, whether executives, churches, small groups, families or more. The husband and wife team provide many examples of their failures and successes, and they share other stories of high-profile leaders who listen well.
It's a practical guide to listening better with many practical questions you can use for self-examination, and more questions you can use with your team to get their honest feedback. I especially appreciated the chapters on conflict and receiving criticism - such helpful advice I can use in many situations!
I received a preview copy of Listen Well, Lead Better from the publisher.
This is an excellent book for leaders in any organization, whether executives, churches, small groups, families or more. The husband and wife team provide many examples of their failures and successes, and they share other stories of high-profile leaders who listen well.
It's a practical guide to listening better with many practical questions you can use for self-examination, and more questions you can use with your team to get their honest feedback. I especially appreciated the chapters on conflict and receiving criticism - such helpful advice I can use in many situations!
I received a preview copy of Listen Well, Lead Better from the publisher.
January 4, 2020
Great book about listening to your employees and bringing it back to the Bible and what it is saying to you. Each chapter has stories, examples and thought provoking information before giving you guided questions to ask yourself and then ask your team.
I enjoyed this book and am thankful that the publisher allowed me to give this honest review.
I enjoyed this book and am thankful that the publisher allowed me to give this honest review.
April 11, 2022
Has some really great lessons on how you show interact with people and ways that you can improve yourself. Unfortunately the book is influenced a little too much by Christianity for my taste. Overall great book if it having many religious references isn't a deal breaker for you
April 24, 2025
Ah, yes, the art of listening - we could all use some improvement here, I think. I liked the examples used to illustrate their points, and the book was practical in its application as well. I would recommend it.
September 14, 2023
One of the best leadership books I have read
March 15, 2025
Nothing earth-shattering, just good common sense, primarily for church leaders.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews