The Courage to Suffer: A New Clinical Framework for Life's Greatest Crises

by Daryl Van Tongeren, Sara A. Showalter Van Tongeren

Suffering is an inescapable part of life. Some suffering is so profound, so violating, or so dogged that it fundamentally changes people in indelible ways. Many existing therapeutic approaches, from a medical model, treat suffering as mental illness and seek a curative solution. However, such approaches often fail to examine the deep questions that suffering elicits (e.g., existential themes of death, isolation, freedom, identity, and meaninglessness) and the far-reaching ways in which suffering affects the lived experience of each individual. In  The Courage to Suffer , Daryl and Sara Van Tongeren introduce a new therapeutic framework that helps people flourish in the midst of suffering by cultivating meaning. Drawing from scientific research, clinical examples, existential and positive psychology, and their own personal stories of loss and sorrow, Daryl and Sara’s integrative model blends the rich depth of existential clinical approaches with the growth focus of strengths-based approaches.Through cutting edge-research and clinical case examples, they detail five “phases of suffering” and how to work with a client's existential concerns at each phase to develop meaning. They also discuss how current research suggests to build a flourishing life, especially for those who have endured, and are enduring, suffering. Daryl and Sara show how those afflicted with suffering, while acknowledging the reality of their pain, can still choose to live with hope.  

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Mental Health

184 pages, Paperback

Published February 27, 2020

Reviews

[preston · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although this book is written primarily for clinicians, the Van Tongerens set forth a framework that can be useful for anyone in processing suffering and especially the existential questions that arise from suffering. Combining elements of psychology, philosophy, and spirituality, the authors are not afraid to walk into the darkness of their own suffering to examine the questions we all face when we realize the world is not the just and fair place we used to believe it was. However, the books does not end there, as on the other side of the darkness is the hope of daylight, and the book concludes with practical considerations for living a flourishing and meaningful life on the other side of suffering.

[Erin Cole · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most practical and deeply insightful discussion of caring for those who are suffering that I have ever read. The authors have an excellent understanding of suffering, flourishing, and the importance of deconstruction in the midst of hardship, all of which is backed by clinical research. Definitely a must read for anyone who works in the field of soul care or mental health services or has experienced suffering.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was given this book by a colleague. Great book for clinicians. A timely book in light of global suffering from the COVID-19 pandemic and the existential questions that are arising for ourselves and our clients. This book had a great structure and was easy to read and digest with good research to back it up. I found myself referring back to the book and it’s thesis in my work with clients over this last month. Highly recommend.

[charlotte]

ultimately learning that i find self help books so much more helpful for clinical work than books geared at clinicians. something about the 1 step removed (tell your clients to think about this) erases some of the direct questioning just leaving me going: HOW?? how do i get them to think about it!! a self help book just asks you the questions, its more direct, it’s also often written by a person who underwent the same thing you’re struggling with, which is a helpful perspective (so did the author of this book, which i appreciated)

a good follow up to man’s search for meaning for clinicians. this book wasn’t bad but i think it was missing something for me. I just had pretty high hopes for it. ultimately there are not many modalities that hold space for genuine suffering and it helped me gradually move away from my instinctual solution focused attitude that i hate. just finding this books existence was a balm and made me feel a little more sane in working with my current caseload.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a resource for mental health professionals, but fitting for anyone in a caregiver or healthcare provider role. I think it is a timely read as we process not only personal but also collective crisis.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have the privilege of living and working in close proximity to the authors' current practice location, so I was able to see them speak live. I thought their in-person presentation was moving and brilliant, allowing me to see things from a different perspective and work with clients that have chronic conditions (mental and physical). I felt the book was a good follow-up and I was able to get a solid framework and notes from it but did feel that parts were repetitive and a little watered-down for most clinicians. Parts of me really enjoyed that it was an "easy" read and wasn't too heavily academic, but other parts of me craved something with a little more clinical substance. I did enjoy the case consultations weaved throughout to really show the application of the materials and felt the model from sunset to sunrise was a brilliant metaphor to explain what clients go through.

[Nathan Harris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very practical book for therapists. I thoroughly appreciate the authors’ conceptualization of suffering as well as their self disclosure.

It was difficult to maintain my attention at times so this may be a reread in the future.

[Bri · Rating 5 out of 5]

“It is not bad to experience pain- it is just painful”.