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394 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published December 1, 2020




**I have voluntarily reviewed an Advanced Readers Copy of this book for my Blog, Nadine's Obsessed with Books**
Secret Nights with a Cowboy (Kittredge Ranch, #1)
All Night Long with a Cowboy (Kittredge Ranch, #2)
A True Cowboy Christmas (Cold River Ranch, #1)
Cold Heart, Warm Cowboy (Cold River Ranch, #2)
The Last Real Cowboy (Cold River Ranch, #3) 
This book hurt me. Not in the way that the relationship between Rae and Riley and all its angst hurt me, although it did, but the book physically pained me when I read it. It was not a good book.
I originally read the book because I found the audiobook version of it on spotify. I hadn't read a cowboy romance book before, but I was very much inclined to read one so I quickly decided that this was the next book I was going to read. Oh how I regretted that choice. The beginning of the novel started fine enough, some sort of estranged relationship between Rae and Riley, some sort of event that happened years ago that set off their relationship being broken seemingly for good. That was fine. And while I'm on the topic of things that are fine, I would like to congratulate the audiobook reader. His voice was low and full of depth and added much character to the otherwise vapid characters.
Rae's character can be essentially boiled down to, constantly thinking of Riley, even though she not supposed to, and mourning her life as a part of dysfunctional family who refuses to update the store uniform. I know that part of the narrative is Rae trying to, take action? But Rae's passivity in her own life is astounding, even when she's making "Big changes." She refuses to talk to anyone because she determines that everyone either can't listen or is too toxic to listen. And while many of the characters in this story have toxic relationships, Rae absolutely refusing to do anything about her living situation is a form of self-toxicity.
The real kicker of this story is that it tries to dismiss everything that is toxic. Oh, you thought that Rae's mother and grandmother are toxic? No, they actually love each other and waging a cold war is the way of showing that love. I'm sorry, but you can't just say that it's not toxic and expect the readers to agree with you. Rae's psychological state seems to be damaged from years of a toxic family environment and simply saying that it's not toxic doesn't fix that.
Speaking of other toxic relationships, Rae and Riley. I couldn't give this a pass. At one point in this book I realized, this book is toxic, the relationship isn't going to become non-toxic, the book will justify the toxicity. I was right. I mostly kept reading out of morbid curiosity for that one even that happened years ago that completely broke things, and that I wanted my seething disdain for this book to see a suitable end. I think that the author doesn't understand that not all abusive relationships are abusive in the same way. The author keeps repeating how Riley doesn't drink or hit his wife as a saving grace. That bar has been sent on the floor. The entire time I was reading about Riley and Rae's relationship, I kept thinking, this is toxic and abusive. It was the constant arguing and verbal abuse. It was the gaslighting that Riley engaged in. As I made those determinations the book made sure to remind me "Riley doesn't drink all that much whisky and doesn't hit his wife!" Thank you book for yelling about how Riley doesn't abuse his wife in a very specific way, but all the other ways are still in the open. The book also tries to dismiss all this toxicity at the end. All that arguing? It was only their love language all along! If your love language requires you to be an in an abusive relation you may be in need of seeking help.
Since we spoke about Rae, let's speak about Riley. He can be boiled down to thinking about Rae Trujilo, even though he says he doesn't want to, and moping about he hates his parents' toxic relation ship. Plot twist, even his parents' toxic relationship that scarred him for life got revealed to fixed and loving in the end. Even though in their relationship they did throw things at each other. Lovely. Riley can be seen in this book lying about trying to help Rae move on and meet new people and then standing over her in bars looking at other men in a threatening way because "Rae is his, all his." While I love the book constantly mentioning how this woman is fully belonging to this man, similar lines constantly peppered throughout the book, I think it is odd these lines keep appearing when they have been separated for years. But then again, what do I know of romance? I do know that Riley's actions are deceitful and aren't very healthy. But when has anything been in this book?
Anyways, it's time to address the elephant in the room. What happened all those nights ago. If you still have interest in reading the book and you don't want a late book spoiler, this is the time to skip this paragraph. So after Rae realizes that all the toxic relationships around her were actually all loving, coincidentally Riley realizes the same of his family around the same time, Rae decides to confess to Riley what happened that night. This is a bit heavy, so consider this your trigger warning, miscarriage. Rae had gotten pregnant but was scared to admit it because they didn't want children and Riley consistently talked about how he hated children. She didn't know what to do, and couldn't tell anyone because she couldn't even tell Riley. In the end, while Riley was away, Rae had a miscarriage. It's something incredibly sad and I really sympathize for the characters. This event is treated as what changed their relationship, and a serious event like this certainly would change the lives of the people it affects. But as soon as Rae and Riley decide to move past this they just decide, all of the arguing that lead to Rae being too scared to communicate with Riley sort of gets left in the past. I understand that they are trying to start on a new slate, but it's hard to believe they can move forward without actually taking a serious look at what happened in the past. I especially can't believe it because the same arguments that Rae to be scared and alone and have a miscarriage are also characterized as their love language and them arguing, but "arguing together." It's somewhat unbelievable and really left a bad taste in my mouth. They then decide to have children because the book views children as the thing that saves marriages. It saved the marriage of Riley's parents and it did so for Rae and Riley. And the child knew it had to be born to them. And so the problems are solved. The child fixed their marriage. And the ending scene is Rae giving Riley a blowjob, although it's not described, so she can convince him not to tell her family that she stole his family's carrot souffle recipe. Brilliant.
Overall, the story spends a really long time in the conflict portion of the story without really showing the readers why Rae and Riley should end up back together, other than the fact that they are married. While I knew it was hopeless, I kept hoping that Rae left that toxic town full of all it's toxic relationships. Instead, we get to see Riley's manipulations and how eventually, everything that was once toxic is shown to be love. The sex scenes were lackluster and the characters were vapid. The last blowjob got quickly thrown in with one sentence unlike the very arduous process of reading this book. What should have been a quick and easy read became a painful chore, but I did it so you won't half to. If you like a book with a toxic and domineering male that doesn't even seem aware of the problematic standards it perpetuates, I think this book is for you. I didn't even think that this book leaned in too heavily for the cowboy concept, although admittedly I'm not too familiar with the cowboy genre, but you barely see a horse and are more often in a flower shop. Save yourself the time and effort, you can find better.
Again on a more serious note: I think this book was incredibly problematic and it idealized a toxic and abusive version of romance. I don't think that's okay. If you see yourself in a relationship that is abusive, and it doesn't have to be just physical, you can seek help. Domestic abuse can be enacted by physical violence, emotional abuse, threats, or financial control. A partner does not have to be physically abusive to be abusive. If you would like to call someone for help, contact the phone number below. It's the number for the national domestic violence hotline.