Unorthodox Match

by Naomi Ragen

An Unorthodox Match is a powerful and moving novel of faith, love, and acceptance, from author Naomi Ragen, the international bestselling author of The Devil in Jerusalem.

California girl Lola has her life all set up: business degree, handsome fianc�, fast track career, when suddenly, without warning, everything tragically implodes. After years fruitlessly searching for love, marriage, and children, she decides to take the radical step of seeking spirituality and meaning far outside the parameters of modern life in the insular, ultraorthodox enclave of Boro Park, Brooklyn. There, fate brings her to the dysfunctional home of newly-widowed Jacob, a devout Torah scholar, whose life is also in turmoil, and whose small children are aching for the kindness of a womanly touch.

While her mother direly predicts she is ruining her life, enslaving herself to a community that is a misogynistic religious cult, Lola's heart tells her something far more complicated. But it is the shocking and unexpected messages of her new community itself which will finally force her into a deeper understanding of the real choices she now faces and which will ultimately decide her fate.

Genres: Fiction, Jewish, Romance, Judaism, Religion, Contemporary, Adult Fiction

336 pages, Paperback

First published September 24, 2019

About the author

Naomi Ragen is an American-born novelist and playwright who has lived in Jerusalem since 1971. She has published seven internationally best-selling novels, and is the author of a hit play. Naomi also publishes a regular column that deals with Jewish subjects, especially Israel.

http://us.macmillan.com/author/naomir...

Reviews

[Angela M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yaakov, a Talmud scholar is grieving the loss of his wife, struggling to care for his children, maintain a house, and continue his studies. He is blinded by his grief, his financial burdens and his children are suffering. He leaves much of the home responsibilities and child care to his troubled teenage daughter who is also struggling with their new reality. Leah is trying to find herself, wants a better life, after losing her job with a company closed down for fraud, after a long term relationship that ended in tragedy. She finds herself on a journey to her Jewish roots, to the orthodox Jewish community in Boro Park, Brooklyn, wanting to learn, to be become “frum” (“Devout or pious. Committed to the observance of Jewish religious laws that often exceed the bare requirements of Halacha, the collective body of Jewish religious laws.”) I was thankful for the glossary included at the end which I used numerous times to understand Yiddish or Hebrew words or phrases.

A grieving family in crisis, a grieving woman on a journey and when their paths cross, it was obvious, where this story would take us. It probably was obvious from the title. But in spite of its predictable end, the multiple layers of the story and characters I cared about kept me reading. I’m glad I did. I learned a lot about the rituals that are part of the daily lives of ultra Orthodox Jews and I found it fascinating to see these religious beliefs and rigid restrictions play out on a day to day basis. We meet in this community devout and religious people, dedicated to the Torah and the customs, but as human nature will have it, people are flawed. They make mistakes. They have regrets. They sometimes blame HaShem (God ) for the tragedies that befall them. They question their beliefs. Certainly it’s about this particular group of people, but there are universal themes here - grief, forgiveness, friendship and family and the beautiful way that fate sometimes brings people together. A lovely story.


I received an advanced copy of this book from St. Martin’s Press through Netgalley.

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thanks to St. Martin's Press and Jordan Hanley who invited me to check out a digital galley via Netgalley. All opinion expressed are my own.

Happy pub date!

Prior to reading, I had absolutely no experience with Naomi Ragen's novels. However, after reading An Unorthodox Match, I find myself willing to seek out her other books. I felt that the exploration of different faiths, love, happiness, and acceptance weaved together to make a compelling story. From my personal reading experience, it was the ups and downs of the parental and child relationships certainly carried the novel and kept me reading.


Goodreads Review 26/03/19
Publication Date: 24/09/19

[Tim Null · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF after reading 25%
If you normally like this sort of stuff, there's an off chance you'll like this too. If not, probably not.

[Esil · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked An Unorthodox Match. The writing was not spectacular and the story was a bit obvious, but I thought Ragen did a really good job of dealing with a complicated and fraught topic. Leah is in her mid 30s. Her grandparents were practicing Jews, but her mother rejected religion and brought her up with little structure and too much freedom. After more than her share of bad experiences, Leah searches for structure and belonging in an orthodox Jewish community in Brooklyn. Yakov is a recent widower who was left with five children, and he and his younger children are not coping well at all. Leah volunteers to help Yakov and his family. And you can kind of guess where this is going... But what I liked about the story is that Regan delves pretty deep into Leah and Yakov's personal struggles with religion and their orthodox community. Regan does not paint an idealized picture of the community she depicts. She makes it clear that all communities reproduce what are often harsh hierarchies, but at the same time she also suggests that a religious community at its best can take care of its own. It's not my world, but I really appreciated how it was depicted through the characters in this novel. Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for giving me access to an advance copy.

[Desiree M · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won an advanced reader's copy of An Unorthodox Match through a Goodreads competition. I was excited to receive it - but I admit I struggled with how I ultimately felt about this novel. For context, I am Jewish, but I am not Hasidic or Orthodox. I think parts of this book are a strong B rating, but other parts threatened to make me unwilling to finish the book. I think a 3-star represents mostly the positive attributes of this book, but I would be extremely remiss in writing a review that ignored the heavy-handed and strawman depictions of feminism in this book, as well as the casual racism and ableism that permeated the story. That leaves me at about a 2/5 - parts were very enjoyable, but I can't overlook the drawbacks of the book.

My quick summary is that a young Jewish woman decides to become a baal teshuva (essentially return to the Orthodox version of observance) after her life falls apart. She feels called to become more religiously observant. She also starts volunteering in this new, insular community to help a widow with his youngest three children. It takes a long time for the two leads to actually meet, but I don't necessarily have a problem with that.

In my opinion, the best parts of this book are the parts which could tip it from "realistic fiction" to "Romance" proper. It borrows a lot of Romance tropes I adore, the kinds you could find in any good Regency or Victorian. There's: the bereaved widow who blames himself, the surly child, the almost-Governess-heroine, the matchmaker, found family, tragic backstory, the insular/rigid society that doesn't easily accept our outsider-heroine, the many social rules for propriety, the meddling/disapproving parents, the slow burn, letters between hero/heroine building the romance... you get the idea. This story wants badly to be a Romance Novel, but it's a romance novel written for the realistic-fiction genre. I think that does the story a disservice personally, but that's because I'm a big fan of romance. Your own mileage may vary. I think the core of the romance itself is the best part of the book, but it gets bogged down by other things.

There are a few secrets which are really easy to guess - not really especially huge twists.

My problems with this book however, are on the ways in which some of the conflict is developed, and more importantly, the heroine Leah's attempt to go on shidduch dates (arranged dates).

The first is that while the author lends some necessary sensitivity and nuance to Orthodoxy, being Orthodox herself, she lets Leah have very unnuanced views about the world she left behind. The mother-daughter conflict between Leah and her mother starts off extreme and unwavering - feeling like two strawmmen getting in an argument, and it eventually just peters out. Leah's mother is convinced orthodoxy is a cult, religion is a waste of time, and she's all about "free love," and apparently some poor life choices. Leah thinks feminism means doing away with wanting to be a mother or (and this is literal in the book) not wanting men to help carry heavy things or open doors. It's a headache, and it doesn't really get better. The two women eventually just...get over it. Leah's mother tries to be supportive-ish, and Leah doesn't refuse to invite her mother to the wedding because it will be socially embarrassing. It's not incredibly satisfying.

Most cringeworthy are Leah's bad shidduch dates, which she is set up on purely because she's an outsider and new to being frum (traditionally observant/orthodox).

They are, as follows:

- an obese man who doesn't want to give up eating a lot of food, and is therefore a bad date because he's fat
- an autistic man, who is a "bad date" because he's depicted as a robotic unfeeling asshole and an annoying literalist
- a black convert from Africa who is a conspiracy theorist AND left behind his wife and many children in Africa

The silly portrayal of feminism is something I could probably overlook as being merely the character's narrow point of view, but the choice of why bad dates are bad feels like the author's own decision. It feels racist and ableist in an unnecessary way, and frankly, it's full of flat stereotypes. The fat man who doesn't have any self-control in regards to eating, the black man who abandoned his family, the autistic man who is not able to be a romantic option simply because he's autistic and therefore "doesn't get love." It's maddening and offensive. There are really only two black people in this story and one of them is the aforementioned insincere convert with a wife and several children in africa. One of the rebbetzin's marries off her son with a club foot, and that's considered a success because frankly, the story makes it clear that having a club foot or being autistic makes you basically completely undesirable. The depiction of autism in this story is cringe worthy.

It's upsetting to say the least, and while there's a theme of "this community has all the same problems as the secular world" and there's a lot of mental illness stigma, but this... I can't conceive of a reason why making the only black man in the story be someone who walked out on his family and be a sexually predatory person would help make this point. It's racist and does a disservice to black Jews. Plain and simple.

And that's enough to detract from the romance of this story substantially.

[Wendy'sThoughts · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Incredibly Insightful Stars
* * * * Spoiler Free
No author wants a low scoring review. After all, writing books and then hitting that publish button is like giving birth. Once their creation is out in the world, all control is lost and how it is received is up to the reader. I mention this because I learned of this book through a review which crossed my feed. It had not been well received and I was curious as to why. I discovered it was on NetGalley and was lucky enough to get it.

Now this book may not be for everyone, but for me, I was drawn in from the start. This had moments of clarity and insight. There were moments of pain. But above all else, if you stripped away all of the "extra verbiage and unique cultural nuances", it was a story about who we as people can either be generous and loving or hypocritical and cruel or actually a combination of all of the above.

Which is universal.

It was not perfect for me but it had a definite perspective and was willing to go all-in with it. If you were open-minded, there was much to learn...Again, there was a type of agenda presented...but as an openly religious book, that was to be expected.

For me, it made me think, analyze, be retrospective and appreciative. Any book that encourages all of those actions, is a positive one for me.


A gifted copy was provided by St. Martin's Press via NetGalley for an honest review.

For more Reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways

[Sharon Hart-Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a thoroughly engrossing tale of the growing attraction between two individuals who come from opposite backgrounds, and their sustained attempt to overcome the disapproval of the ultra-orthodox Jewish society in which they live. Ragen offers the reader a glimpse into this enclosed Jewish world and its (often stifling) mores, but she does so without condemnation. There is certainly some satire in her portrayal of this protected world, but it is neither heavy-handed nor mean-spirited. As a reader, I grew to empathize with the characters and cared about whether they would succeed or fail in their attempt to overcome their society's prejudices. Ragen manages to tell this story in a way that is both critical of the society's limitations but also cognizant of its attractions--which is not an easy feat to accomplish. Indeed, it is a difficult balancing act that Ragen performs with aplomb.

[Lisa Wolf · Rating 3 out of 5]

An Unorthodox Match is set in the ultra-orthodox community of Boro Park, Brooklyn, and is told through the points of view of several characters. Leah (Lola) is Jewish by birth, but was raised by a mother who wants nothing to do with the religion of her own upbringing. Leah only discovers faith and deeper meaning as a college student, and eventually pursues religious studies in her path back to observant, orthodox Judaism. Yaakov, a widower with five children mourning for his late wife, is a prize sought after by a slew of matchmakers, all looking to make a marriage involving his prestigious family. Yaakov's mother-in-law Fruma Esther wants what's best for Yaakov and his children, but not at the risk of their family's reputation. And getting involved with someone newly returned to religion is a sure way to get gossip flowing, possibly endangering the future standing of the next generation.

This book is a deep dive into the community and its social constructs, and does a good job of explaining why a modern, educated woman might turn to a world that outsiders view as repressive and misogynistic. Leah is an interesting character, and the author does a good job at letting us see why Leah might find a fresh meaning and purpose through religion, faith, and tradition.

I'd tried everything the secular world had to offer and still felt empty. I wanted something else, something that would give meaning to my life. In your world, I found so many of the things I'd longed for all my life: safety, order, rules, limitations, real community, deep values. But I have to be absolutely honest with you... I've also discovered some things I wasn't prepared for.

The family dynamics are well-drawn and touching, and I felt quite sorry for Yakov, his late wife (whose postnatal depression is only revealed late in the book, although there are certainly plenty of hints), and the children whose lives fall apart, until Leah steps in to provide love and order in their home once more.

Of course, as a 21st century feminist, I have a huge problem with religious rules that force women into "modest" clothing, declare them unclean when they have their periods, and require the rabbi's okay for a woman to stop having babies when she's clearly suffering and in severe distress. Through Leah's perspective, the dress requirements are freeing, keeping her body private and preventing men from seeing her as a sexual object -- but that only goes so far. Leah (or the author) seems to be a bit fixated on weight, and we keep hearing about how Leah has gained weight since giving up running (which she can't do as a religious woman, since the clothing and/or activity would be immodest). The issues around body image and looks got in my way quite a bit, as did some of the characters' attitudes around race and difference.

That's not to say that An Unorthodox Match isn't a good read -- it is. I was caught up in the story and invested in the characters... but I definitely was challenged by needing to put my own opinions aside in order to accept Leah's values and hopes.

Review copy courtesy of the publisher via NetGalley. Full review at Bookshelf Fantasies.

[Heather Frimmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first book I’ve read from Naomi Ragen and I’m so glad I did. Thank you to Jordan Hanley from St. Martin’s press for putting this wonderful gem in my hands and introducing me to this wonderful author. In the first scene, Leah (formerly Lola) Howard is sitting in a Rabbi’s office. After losing a fiancé to a freak accident and a serious boyfriend to infidelity, she has turned to faith for healing, decided to become Orthodox. The story immediately takes off as we follow Leah through the difficult assimilation process. Soon after she arrives in Boro Park, Brooklyn, she begins volunteering to help the family of Yaakov Lehman, a recent widower, tidying up his home and caring for his smaller children several times a week. Learning about him only through clues she finds in his home and things his children say, she becomes intrigued about who he is. When Leah and Yaakov finally meet in person, they both immediately deny their instant connection. How could they possibly be a match? He is a from a well respected family in the community and she is an outsider who has eaten forbidden foods, caroused on Shabbat, and slept with numerous men. At its heart this a romance story—there’s no questions about how the story will end—but getting there is immersive and completely enjoyable. I loved reading about all of the details of the Boro Park Haredi community. Ragen has done enormous research to make sure she gets the details right and it shows. Her running commentary and observations about the ways and traditions of the insular community are insightful, intriguing and balanced. The shifting perspective also allows the reader to see different sides of the same story and come to their own conclusions. I will definitely be picking up some of Ragen’s other books in the near future.

[Jan Rice · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the story of a secular Jewish woman who falls in love with an ultra-Orthodox Jewish man and the trials and travails they incur along the way -- no surprise given the title. "Jewish romance," maybe. Or a Jewish twist on what in my neck of the woods used to be called "inspirational" literature, which invariably was Christian. A book club selection, one I didn't expect much of and probably wouldn't finish, or so I thought. Somewhere along the way I did get a surprise. It hooked me. And it gave me something to think about.

When I say I "learned" from a book, I'm not really thinking about facts and details like more Yiddish words or more knowledge of the Haredi way of life, not that there's anything wrong with that kind of learning and which I did get from this book. What I mean if I say a book "teaches" me something is that it puts things together in a new way or shows me connections I hadn't recognized. In other words, it gives me insight, often into something I might have guessed was true but hadn't credited. Often the insight is on something not socially central or on which open discussion is discouraged, such that I had not developed the ability to think clearly about whatever the issue is. The clarity and honesty of a book thus allows fuller recognition and awareness of the issue at hand.

For me this book highlighted hypocrisy within a religious community but without using the existence of that hypocrisy as a vantage point from which to throw over the community. Such hypocrisy has been a bugaboo for me, so I appreciate being nudged to think about it without my usual rebellious feelings.

Despite the title and cover picture, the book became more about those other issues radiating out into the community from the romance than about the romance itself. This is a good thing since the emotional life of relatives and friends -- in other words, their humanity -- is the author's strong suit. With her deep knowledge of the community she can use their particularity to reach the universal.

The book also gives the argument for religion even while being open and honest about the community's struggles with selfishness smack-dab in the midst of their desire to be good. The author makes the religious argument, so rarely heard in some settings, throughout the book. She does so entirely through story and character and without preachiness.

Thanks to my public library for providing me with An Unorthodox Match.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read a review on this book a while back and decided to expand my reading a bit. An Unorthodox Match is a fascinating look at the insular community of Orthodox Jews in NYC. The cover is misleading, IMO.

[McYang · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you to Netgalley for providing an ARC in exchange for my unbiased review.

Both Leah and Yaakov have experienced the tragedy of losing a partner, both have turned to G-d to help them cope. Leah has recently moved to Brooklyn's Boro Park to transition to an orthodox life. While she navigates her new community, struggling to find her place, Yaakov struggles to raise five children and continue his Torah studies. When Leah volunteers to watch Yaakov's children during the day, she forms a bond with the two youngest, finally finding hope in the future again. Yaakov falls in love with Leah through her kind actions, but there are women in his life who want to keep them apart. Can Leah and Yaakov find a way to be together? And will the community accept them as a couple?

The good: I learned so much about a community I have grown up near and around half my life. As a Jewish woman I understand the divide between sects -see how orthodox and secular communities operate wholly apart from one another and avoid interaction. Reading this book gave me insight into the whys of this complex relationship and I truly enjoyed being submersed in a culture that is my own but not mine. I also felt the romance was genuine and sweet and it made sense that these two grew to love one another before ever having met in person. Much like the match making that happens in the book, these two were brought together by a G-d, the ultimate matchmaker, who highlighted their shared values rather than their wealth, looks, and the age of her womb.

The bad: I feel this book is intended to target readers who are curious about the orthodox community, who enjoy learning about cultures and religions different from their own, maybe even orthodox women who want to safely venture into mild romance territory. So what's with the cover? Leah does not have a back tattoo! She does not wear dresses that show off her skin (it distinctly says she buttons her dress up under her chin!) And their romance is not steamy or forbidden in any way. The cover, I assume chosen by the publisher, is totally offensive and the intended reader will NOT pick it up based on that alone. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND the publisher do two things: first is to change the cover to something that approaches the gentle romance category (think a prayer shawl with two gold rings on it), second, write all instances of the work G-d this way: with a capital G and a dash in place of the "o". Orthodox Jews do not write the name of G-d in it's entirety and the word is captalized out of respect. Readers unfamiliar with this practice will quickly get used to it, but it would go a long way with orthodox readers as a an intentional act of respect.

Also, the writing didn't always have an excellent flow, and sometimes wandered into melodramatic territory. But that aside, it was a great story, I was invested, and I rooted for Yaakov and Leah to give in to their love at the end. Very uplifting and educational.

[Lydia Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Lola is raised by her mother alone who never married. Lola never got to know her birth father. Lola knew that her grandmother tried to raise her daughter with Jewish morals, but Lola's mother was a wild child and ran away from home and lived as she pleased. As Lola loses her job due to corruption which she was not involved with became very depressed. To find her place Lola who now goes by Leah tries to find her place in life by turning to God and the Orthodox community in Brooklyn. Yaakov is a man of God, a Talmud scholar, and a widower. Yaakov needs help with his home and five children. Leah needs to find her purpose in the Orthodox community and finds out that she can help Yaakov and his children by cleaning his home and caring for his children while he is away working each day. They both need a partner in life, and find they are a perfect match after they become acquitted with each other. There are a lot of obstacles to over come to make this happen. Forces are against them while necessity and love pushes them together. Will they be able to marry and be happy couple? A very happy ending. A must read. I really enjoyed this book because I learned a lot about the Jewish ways of life and their great faith. A must read.

[Lady Alexandrine · Rating 5 out of 5]

“An Unorthodox Match” by Naomi Ragen is a brilliant novel and undoubtedly one of the best books that I was fortunate to read this year.

What was the most remarkable about this book?

1. The characters! Lea (previously Lola) and Yaakov were wonderful characters. They were kind and good at heart, but they had to deal with tremendous heartache and doubts about their place in the world. Both, Lea and Jacob were written with deep understanding of human nature and emotions. They seemed so true-to-life, their behaviour was realistic and it was easy to care for them. I was rooting for them to be together the whole book! It took a while for them to meet for the first time and a few times it seemed like every force in the book’s universe was against them. In general, it is not easy for me to get so involved in the story, so kudos for the author, who convinced me effortlessly how wonderful her characters were and made me care about them a great deal.

2. The setting! The novel takes place most of the time in the ultraorthodox enclave of Boro Park, Brooklyn. The place and people living there were showed both from the outsider’s and insider’s perspectives. It was like visiting a private, intimate world of people living their lives differently, according to ancient, religious rules and cultural restrictions imposed by their community. So many things surprised me, as I had no previous knowledge of the way of live in the ultraorthodox community. The picture painted by the author was at times beautiful and sweet, at times dark with hidden, unspoken truths, pettiness and bitter prejudices. There were also funny and scary elements in the story, when the author showed the possible troubles with matchmaking!

3. The story was heartfelt and compelling. Just like Lea, many people have doubts about their place in the world and they look for something true and lasting to believe in. The relationship between the main characters was convincing and beautiful. Their different backgrounds and difficulties to overcome were skilfully shown by the author.

4. The ending! I loved the ending. I found it satisfying and full of hope.

It was the first book that I have ever read that described the ultraorthodox community and I found it fascinating. Naomi Ragen offers her readers a glimpse into the hidden world and I adored it! I am looking forward to reading more books by this author.

I received “An Unorthodox Match” from the publisher via NetGalley. I would like to thank the author and the publisher for providing me with the advance reader copy of the book. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

[Tamara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was really surprised by how much I enjoyed An Unorthodox Match, maybe because this is my first read by the author? Whatever it is, I am so glad that I found it on my library's online catalogue for new books. I could go on and on about how much I love my library, but I won't!

I will say how much I was drawn into the life of Leah Howard and how she knew there was more to life than what she was experiencing, and sought it through living as an orthodox Jewish woman. She was a Jew by birth, but through trial and error had come to live in Boro Park. Yaakov, a Talmud scholar is struggling after having lost his wife a year earlier. He needs helps with his family but losing the income of his wife has really dwindled his ability to study as he needs and still pay basic amenities.

Ms. Ragen showed how even those who try to live out a holy life amidst the "world" and how far acceptance of oneself and others go a long way in being able to better live in harmony with those who live in your community, etc.

[Katerina · Rating 1 out of 5]

I received a free ARC for review.

Oh wow. This book was something. I was hoping for a nice romance novel about two people falling in love but got thrown head first into what I can honestly say boarders on propaganda.

We start the novel with Leah reflecting on an argument she had with her mom about religion (which they will continue to so for the entirety of the book with no resolution in the end). The mom becomes a caricature of sorts; she ran away from her strict Jewish upbringing to be a groupie and is constantly pushing her daughter to live more free (which is painted here as a very bad thing). She at one time is complaining why Leah doesn’t read Vogue more and spends so much time on religious observances (what a ridicules argument no mother would actually have with her grown 30-something daughter). The author works hard to paint the mom as someone who just wants to live a hedonistic lifestyle, even comparing the mom enjoying steaks to cannibalism. It’s just ridiculous.

Leah is just constantly fear mongering herself (and the reader) about how life outside the Orthodox community is filled with evil and violence. She always dismisses the outside world on being focused on hurting one another and just partying. She did go through a traumatic experience as a child but, come on. The author is just painting everything in the outside world has war zone where everyday our lives are in danger. Leah describes life outside the community “was it just because there were just no rules anymore, people making them up as they go along” oh come on. There’s plenty of rules and things like rape and violence absolutely happen within the community too. It just gets covered up quicker and not broadcast on national tv. She describes people as bobbing in a mortal wasteland waiting to be rescued. Oh boy

Leah constantly talks about how men on the outside don’t respect women. They only want them for their bodies. But then there is so much focus on not being fat! And then in the community all the men are just looking for a women to not *just* take care of the household but to also be the ones who earn an income for the house while the men study all day.

The amount of crazy body shaming comments throughout. Leah feeling disgusting and in “a fat suit” after gaining some weight. The step daughter mad that her mother is no longer alive to tell her to eat less and not gain any more weight. One older woman is talking about her grandsons engagement to a girl with a cross eye and Says something along the lines of “do you think we wanted a cross eyed girl but we’ll take what we can get” There’s a scene where Leah goes on a date the matchmaker set up and the guy end up being 250 pounds. But is said to barley fit in the elevator so that Leah has to walk down the stairs alone. Does this author not know what 250 lbs looks like on a male frame??
And the other dates! One ended up being autistic and Leah gets mad at the match maker saying he’s should be institutionalized. What in the world?!
One date is a convert from Africa and Leah is shocked and humiliated that she was set up with a black man (this is her reaction upon first seeing him) and we then learn that he abandoned his 6 children in Africa and gets too handsy with Leah during the date (just again, turning him into a caricature). Leah’s friend later describes all the people she had been set up with as “crippled, autistic,African....bottom of the barrel”.

The book is about 10% about her budding relationship (which when it was written about was great. The cute letters. How they both were excited to spend time with one another etc). The rest of it was an excuse to paint the outside world as a big dark scary place.
There were so so many more horrible things here I just don’t have the patience to get into. And that’s not even taking into account the badly developed story line.

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lola Howard, in order to escape the tragedies and futility of her secular life, becomes Leah Howard as she joins a Haredi community in Borough Park, Brooklyn and becomes an observant Jew. Because she comes from the outside, she is never really accepted by the community. As an act of charity, she starts caring for the 2 youngest children of Yaakov Lehman, a recent widower and Talmudic scholar who unable to physically, emotionally and financially care for his children. His two youngest children adore her, while his 16 year old daughter resents her, even though she is overwhelmed with the care of her family.
Of course you can see where this will lead, even though there are twists and turns along the way.

There are a lot of themes explored in this book: grief, starting over, forgiveness, hypocrisy, and compassion, to name a few. There is some insight into the very closed off Haredi community: how they live, worship, and think of themselves and others. Neither Leah nor Yaakov are complicated characters. Both are torn by their desire to be accepted and fit in to the norms of the community and their need to be true to themselves. The Haredi community is more complicated in that they are supposed to want people to join them and devote their lives to honoring G-d, yet they outwardly reject anyone who has not been a part of their community for all their lives. There is nothing subtle about it, either. Their smug hypocrisy is quite sad, really.

This is a fascinating book to read, and fortunately it has a glossary of some of the Hebrew terms interspersed throughout the book. Frankly, the glossary should have been longer. The meaning of a lot of words had to be gleaned from the context. Although I grew up as a Reform Jew, this book was like getting a glimpse into a foreign culture. A sequel has just come out, and I am looking forward to reading it eventually.

[Susan · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not finish this book. Whenever I read something about the Haredi Orthodox, an ultra-Orthodox, insular, Jewish community who, contrary to the Torah by which they claim to live their lives, do not welcome strangers into their midst, I become extremely angry that there is this kind of community within my religion. There have been many factual reports of child sex abuse and abusive husbands in this culture. Women are treated as brood mares. They live in voluntary poverty while the husbands spend hours every day in their yeshivot studying and debating fine points of Torah, Talmud, the Shulchan Aruch, and other texts; a pursuit which leaves the men unemployable (there is not much demand for Torah scholars these days) and the women, because they are busy raising children and keeping a good Jewish home, unemployable as well.

I guess anyone who reads this review will conclude that I didn’t like it. As far as I’m concerned, the less this community is visible to the public the better.

I received this book from the publisher and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Suzanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Naomi Raven has written a modern-day Cinderella but our Prince is a widower with 5 children living in an isolated religious community with strict rules and a penchant for welcoming converts while secretly excluding them from the heart of communal life. And Cinderella has a backstory that is laden with personal tragedy and a mother, rather than a stepmother, who trivializes her heartfelt desires to pursue a life with greater depth and meaning. Raven creates a world that most readers have never visited and will find fascinating. The various characters and their many desires are compelling and often contradictory. There’s no question that the book serves as both a great story and a bit of a nudge to the reader to pause and reflect. Which of these characters makes sense in this story? How might I act? Could I see myself in this world? I admit to wanting a second book. I want to know what happens next. I received my copy from the publisher through NetGalley.

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading about this culture and how one woman worked to be a part of it. After tragic experiences Lola/Leah tries to find solace through ultra orthodox religion. It’s a very closed society so there is a lot of introspection, disappointments, and some success. The customs and unwritten rules are interesting to learn about. Definitely not for me although sometimes I think it would be less stressful to not have to make decisions about every detail in your life. Thank you so much to the publisher and NetGalley for the ARC.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Suggestion of Spoilers, if you have not (yet) read the book. Read the Review at your own risk.

It's hard to review this one for a number of reasons. One is because I love Naomi Ragen. I would begrudge her nothing. I also wonder, because I have read her for just so many decades, if my reading of this book is influenced by my own journey as a reader. That I loved her in my 20's, and my reading has increased since then. Also, some of the situations for me were hard to digest. Let me explain.

The book is basically about the slow buildup of two religious Jews finding each other and their destiny with one another later in life. That was the best part of the book, the love between the two of them, and how pure hearted and devoted each of them were as people. They were both really good people who deserved one another.

But here's the thing. I know it happens in all cultures, but being Jewish, I hate to see Jews (any people really of course) behaving badly. And if they do behave badly, I don't want the rest of the world to know about it, or think less of our faith and culture. And both inside and outside of the Jewish community depicted in this book, there are plenty of people behaving badly. I was amused my the "matchmakers" but also horrified and distressed and angered. And by the community itself, I kept asking myself. Is this a real thing? That the Balteshuvah are not accepted? Can't get married? I know so many balteshuvah and they are all married in communities and living happy lives. Are there maybe a few people who look down on them, or make certain divides? Well I am sure there must be. But if this were standard fare, I would be deeply embarrassed by my people.

I read this in like a day and a half or so. Maybe two days. But last night I saw the first episode of The Gilded Age on HBO Max. This book made me think of that. Old New York and New New York Money, and who gets accepted in. I thought about all that Lobster Salad gone to waste and Mrs Russell crying in her bed. I just felt sorry for her. All because of these distinctions. So, I am asking my Jewish friends who are in or near the religious world. Does this happen? This kind of prejudice to the balteshuvah? Because one would think we would want people to join us. I think about all of the years of Aish Ha Torah community outreach, to get people to be religious. Only so they can be pushed out of the very communities they were enticed to join? Surely not. Friends, tell me this isn't so, and that this was just a contrivance and vehicle to tell the story of Jacob and Leah (just figured that out) with an obstacle to overcome.

Not for nothing, and you know I hate spoilers. I did appreciate that a new angle presented here is how mental illness in the religious community might be handled and treated, for better or for worse. That to me felt like an important conversation, and I hope at least for the Jewish Book Club readers of this review, that we begin to have it.

[Loren · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting story about a non-religious Jewish woman's experience in being accepted in an orthodox community. Those that live in Insular, closed communities can be judgmental - even those that believe in God and his decree to "love the stranger your midst".

3 1/2 stars ⭐️

[Susan Peterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

An Unorthodox Match is a poignant, unorthodox love story between a devout Torah scholar and a young woman who is a recent convert. The story is fraught with conflict; prejudice, gossip, acceptance, faith, and living up to the strict tenets of the ultra orthodox branch of Judaism. I felt like I had been dropped into another world, with language and customs that were foreign to me, but which were an integral part of this book. Thank you to Jordan Hanley from St. Martin’s Press for letting me read and review this book prior to publication.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I do not give five stars easily but “An Unorthodox Match” earns each of those five stars! At its simplest, it is the story of Leah a women recently converting to Orthodox Judaism, and Yaakov, a Talmud Scholar, and recent widow. The book explores the challenges they face in searching for a meaningful relationship while honoring the tenants of their faith. The book takes nothing for granted, however, and there is not simply one right answer on how to live. The grace of this book is that it takes the assumptions we make not only about our own religion but others’ religion and holds them up to examination and light. As the characters struggle to be true to their faith in a rich and meaningful way we are taken on a journey that allows the reader to explore their own spiritual choices. And while the focus is Judaism, the book touches Catholicism, Buddhism, and Sikhism as well. Reading “An Unorthodox Match”, left me feeling like I had just taken a wondrous adventure to a foreign country! And like all foreign travel, it expanded my knowledge and challenged my own beliefs. I thoroughly recommend this book! It was the first time I have read Naomi Ragen, but it certainly will not be the last! I was honored to receive a free advanced copy of this book from NetGalley and the publisher, St. Martin’s Press in exchange for an honest review.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Goodreads and St. Martin's Press for this ARC.

I have read many books by Naomi Ragen and she's one of my favorite Jewish authors and my go to for Jewish fiction. It is always a pleasure to read her books.

Growing up Jewish but not ultra religious like this, I really enjoyed learning a lot about things I didn't know in my own religion. Thankfully there was a glossary of words, especially some Yiddish ones that I didn't grow up with to help me after I finished the book.

Leah is a 34 year old woman who was raised a Jew but her mother didn't want her to do anything with being one -- she wanted her to be free -- just like her. Leah had heartaches in her life and wanted to become a religious woman. She ends up watching a widower's three children who she falls in love with and them with her (except for the 15 year old) and eventually falls in love with him. He only knows her of the caretaker of his children (he was either studying the Torah days or at night school studying to be a CPA). He also has been living with grief and guilt since his wife died of "an illness." It was easy to recognize to me and it was sad and it wasn't mentioned throughout the book until the end.

[Amy Bruestle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won this book through a giveaway in exchange for an honest review...

Ugh. I’m frustrated with this read. It had such a clever title and made you curious as to what was going to happen, and drew you in....just to end up being the most predictable book I’ve ever read! The writing itself was not bad....in-fact, it was actually pretty good. My problems were with the story line. It was kind of boring and it also had way too many religious terms that were difficult to understand. The guide in the back of the book did help....however, I did even know it was there until I had already finished the book! So, maybe move it to the front prior to publication release? I think the author definitely has talent with words, just maybe needs to work on the plot a bit.

[Tzipora · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed Naomi Regan’s last book, The Devil in Jerusalem, and was absolutely jazzed to receive an early review copy of her new book from net galley. There’s something kind of comforting about slipping into the world Regan writes about. She has a way of writing beautifully about Jewish community and family and religious observance while also depicting the complications of the Orthodox world as well. The world in Ragen’s stories

It’s no secret that I love Jewish literature deeply and there are few Jewish writers as well known as Naomi Regan. I know she can also be a contested author for various reasons and I haven’t always loved her books but I enjoyed her last one, The Devil in Jerusalem, and was excited to receive an early review copy of An Unorthodox Match through Net Galley.

I’m quite happy to say I enjoyed this one a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever read a fictional novel about a Baalei Teshuva (someone who is born Jewish but raised unobservant or not Orthodox and who becomes religiously observant) so I appreciated the prospective. I grew up straddling a line between Orthodox and not myself and have had many BT friends and I think there’s so much to this story that rings very true there. I also think that Ragen wrote quite beautifully yet realistically about the things that can draw a person to religious life and the types of things one faces when joining a new community. I suppose also, being close in age to Leah, I could relate to her desires to get her life in order and my own heart ached at a scene where she is bonding with Yaakov’s children. There is so much here about family connections in the Orthodox world that I think is written very beautifully. I think Regan did quite well at getting into the mindset of what would make someone want to become observant.

At its core this novel is a love story which isn’t usually my thing but this worked for me perhaps because it’s a love story between two people but also a woman and religious Judaism. I couldn’t help but like Yaakov and I fell in love with his children as Leah did. I think the ending is a bit unrealistic yet sometimes you just want that sort of thing.

My only caveats- and this may come as a surprise to those who have found fault or even pain in Regan’s past depictions of frum Judaism- but I didn’t find that here (though some might find her depiction of the sidduchim experience a bit extreme. But it spoke to the experiences I’ve seen and certainly those of 30-something BT women in many communities). I did, however, find her depiction of Leah’s life before she became religious to devolve into a complete stereotype. The book begins with a vague reference to an early trauma I never felt was fully explored and I’m a bit confused how we went from this traumas effect on her to claims late in the book that she had had endless one night stands. And I did a spit take at Leah telling mentioning to her mother that she had not had “an inhalation of marijuana on X years”. No one talks that. But perhaps it’s the author’s age showing as there were two references to “discotheques” as well, which again, is not something you will ever hear a young American woman say. And I don’t think I need to say that not all and in my experience even many, BT women loved empty lives of casual sex, drugs, and wild partying before becoming religious. So it’s unfortunate the book delve into such stereotypes here especially when one of the struggles depicted is how some members of the community fear and imagine the worst about her past. Shame too that the cover image is what it is, huge tattoo, suggesting such a scandalous relationship as in my mind that’s not really what happens here.

Other than that and maybe a few too many changes of perspective between characters- too many and unnecessarily so early in the book and while these are done as individual chapters so still easy enough to follow, later when the book narrows in mostly to Leah and Yaakovs perspectives there are several times the perspective changes mid chapter which I found jarring- I enjoyed this one and the brief escape to this Litvish community.

Pro tip- there is a glossary of Lotvish terms in the back I wish I had realized was there sooner because I hit several I was unfamiliar with and kept resorting to Google.

[M.S. Shoshanna Selo · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

An Unorthodox Match is an insightful and absorbing read that immerses you into the hidden and insular world of the ultra Orthodox Haredi Jewish community.

***The Storyline***

Leah Howard is a baale teshuva (a term for a Jewish person brought up in a secular family who decides to become a religious orthodox Jew), having found God and meaning in life through the strict laws of the Torah, after failing to find fulfilment and meaning in the secular world. Leah’s drastic new lifestyle change causes friction with her non-religious mother and she experiences rejection and hostility in the ultra Orthodox Haredi community which she wants to be part of.

Yaakov Lehman is a 40 year old widower with five children who is broken after the tragic death of his wife, Zissele. Leah brings order and love to his chaotic world when she finds work taking care of his home and two youngest children. When Leah and Yaakov meet, sparks fly between them. However, their love for one another and their desired union is met with disapproval from the community and Yaakov’s teenage daughter Shandele, who don’t trust new comers to their community.

***The good***

-As somebody interested in Jewish fiction, it was really interesting reading about the secret and insular world of the Haredi community and their prejudice and hypocrisy especially towards baale teshuvas who they treat with contempt and suspicion like converts.

-I found Leah and Yaakov to be likeable characters. Even though Yaakov is extremely religious and pious, at the same time he is forward thinking and hates the hypocrisy of those within the community. I enjoyed this very unusual love story. The youngest children were adorable and their love for Leah and acceptance of her as a mother was very touching.

-The story was engaging, well written and felt like a well paced Netflix drama. I could definitely see this as a Netflix drama and pictured it as one in my mind including the stars of Shtiesel and The Beauty Queen of Jerusalem as leads. I could definitely picture Michael Aloni as Yaakov and Shira Haas as Shandele.

***The bad***

-My only issue with this book was struggling to understand why an intelligent and educated woman raised with freedom of choice would want to be a part of such an extreme community where women are expected to be slaves, having to raise children, do housework and work to support their husbands studying. I found it hard to justify the stringent and uncompromising rules in a community that is basically a cult. Why go to such extremes to find spirituality? Luckily for Leah, Yaakov is open minded and willing to compromise to make Leah happy but at the expense of his and his family’s reputation. I’m reading the sequel which delves further into Leah’s struggles adjusting to such a stringent lifestyle.

***Conclusion***

A well written and engrossing drama that deals with many issues including grief, prejudice and faith. I enjoyed Naomi Ragen’s other books so this didn’t disappoint. I would recommend this to people who enjoy Jewish fiction or reading about different cultures and religious communities.

***Grading***

Characterization: A+
Ending: A+ (leads to a sequel)
Setting: A+
Writing style and flow: A

Overall grade: A+

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's interesting timing that my book club selected An Unorthodox Match for our July meeting. I had just finished watching Shtisel and was going through withdrawal. I started this novel around the time I had finished the series and it helped me hold on to the feeling of the show for a while longer. Talk about besherte!

I really enjoyed this novel overall. It was an interesting story about the forces trying to keep apart two neshamas (souls) that were meant to be together. I liked how Naomi Ragen weaved in Shabbat throughout the story, showing what a meaningful experience it is, especially to someone new to Orthodox Judaism. Both Leah (Lola) and Yaakov (Jacob) were likable and relatable in different ways. I was rooting for them to find a way to be together, despite all the odds working against them.

I feel like there were some satirical elements to this novel, especially surrounding the dates that Leah and Yaakov went on through shidduch matches. Some aspects of the story seemed like an exaggeration, like with how they were making a huge deal over what people would think and how it would affect shidduch prospects for Yaakov's kids. Although I do think it speaks volumes about the shidduch crisis, which is a real thing in Orthodox communities. If you're going to take away something from this novel, it would be both to not judge others so harshly and also to not worry so much about what people think of you.

The only issue I had with the writing style was that she switched perspectives a lot within sections, instead of breaking them apart so we'd know who to focus on. For example, when Leah and Yaakov were in the same room, we'd see Yaakov's perspective and then without warning, it would change to Leah's perspective, and then suddenly go back to Yaakov's.

If you're reading this novel and don't understand some of the terminology being used, there's a glossary at the back. Some words were even new to me.

There's a sequel to this novel coming in the fall and I am excited to read it soon! I'm not casting this one, as it's too hard for me to find the right fit for these characters.

[Sarah 🌺 Books in Their Natural Habitat · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't generally read books on religion and spirituality so volunteering to read through Netgalley was completely by chance. What really caught my eye and gave me reason to give An Unorthodox Match a shot was the idea of religious cultism, what we may view as one from the outside, and what value others see as they join and live on the inside. I've read a total of maybe two-ish other similarly-based books and just could not get anywhere with them.

It's a good thing I took a stab at An Unorthodox Match - I was enraptured by it within the first chapter. You immediately get this sense of something really messed Lola up. There's a certain element of mystery behind what really happened to her to put her in the position of trying to seek out a bigger, deeper sense of religious belief and the author does an excellent job of giving you small pieces of what made Lola who she is throughout the book. Without giving too much away, there are things that happen in everyone's lives with unexpected job issues, relationships, etc. and we all respond to them differently.

I also really loved how deep the characters in this book were, even beyond the main player Lola. The deep turmoil of one of the children she cares for is completely relatable and understandable. The internal argument among some of the friends she meets of community views versus their own personal beliefs - we all have them regardless of whether it's a religious community or not. At the end of the day, my heart felt so much for everyone and I found myself rooting for them. And maybe, just maybe, I hoped to celebrate at the end.

If you are looking for a book with deep characters who will tug on your heart strings as they explore their own beliefs and how they fit in or conflict with religious belief, give An Unorthodox Match a read!