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The World According to Clarkson #3
For Crying Out Loud!
The publication of "The World According to Clarkson" in 2004 launched a multi-million-copy bestselling phenomenon. But to no avail. Jeremy's one-man war on crimes against common sense has not yet been won. And our hero's still scratching his head at the madness of it all. But it's not all bad. He's learned a little along the way, why binge drinking is good for you; the worst word in the English language; the remarkable secret of eternal youth; the pleasure and pain of middle-aged drumming; the problem with America; and, how to dispose of a seal. For anyone who's ever been driven to wonder just what is the matter with people these days, "For Crying Out Loud" is the perfect riposte. Surprising, fearless and always laugh-out-loud funny, Clarkson's back. And he's got a point...
288 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2004
91 people are currently reading
1125 people want to read
About the author
Jeremy Clarkson
59 books1,083 followersJeremy Charles Robert Clarkson (born April 11, 1960) is an English broadcaster and writer who specialises in motoring.
He writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun, but is better known for his role on the BBC television programme Top Gear.
From a career as a local journalist in the north of England, he rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.
His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often generated much public reaction to his viewpoints. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public.
As well as the criticism levelled against him, Clarkson also generated a significant following in the public at large, being credited as a factor in the resurgence of Top Gear to the most popular show on BBC Two, and calls for him to be made Prime Minister. Clarkson himself was keen to downplay his perceived influence on the British public, stating he regularly contradicts himself, and would make a "rubbish" Prime Minister.
He writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun, but is better known for his role on the BBC television programme Top Gear.
From a career as a local journalist in the north of England, he rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.
His opinionated but humorous tongue-in-cheek writing and presenting style has often generated much public reaction to his viewpoints. His actions both privately and as a Top Gear presenter have also sometimes resulted in criticism from the media, politicians, pressure groups and the public.
As well as the criticism levelled against him, Clarkson also generated a significant following in the public at large, being credited as a factor in the resurgence of Top Gear to the most popular show on BBC Two, and calls for him to be made Prime Minister. Clarkson himself was keen to downplay his perceived influence on the British public, stating he regularly contradicts himself, and would make a "rubbish" Prime Minister.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 118 reviews
September 11, 2023
They do say that as you age your outlook on life drifts further to the right, in which case I may be the exception that proves the rule. (Either that of Clarkson is just moving further to the right a heck of a lot quicker than me!) I am finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile the fact that occasionally Clarkson can be genuinely witty with the downside that he is actually a bit of a bigot. As the comedian Patrick Kielty said when he appeared on Top Gear, “He’s the only man that confuses his own opinion with fact!” I found myself constantly dropping this book back on the coffee table in disgust, which is something I do not remember doing with his earlier books. In one of his columns reprinted in this volume, Clarkson complains that amateur reviewers given a rating from one to ten always plump for those two extremes and never give something a six! So just to prove him wrong – as he often is in this book – that is just what I have done as that is what the book deserves. (Well, three out of five is the same as six out of ten!)
August 30, 2013
I enjoyed this holiday-reading book, altho quite a bit of the content is now outdated, and I missed a lot of the many references to UK celebrities or politicians. Clarkson has an enjoyable writing style, bouncing between exaggeration, insight, and sarcasm. And he tells a tale with perfect lead up and description, making me laugh out loud all too often.
June 2, 2014
I toyed for a long time between giving this 3 or 4 stars. I think it's probably a 3.6 all in.
Clarkson is very perceptive and has an endearing dry wit to writing. His success is in that he is obviously very intelligent, but humorously portrays himself as somewhat stupid. There are numerous references to Top Gear in this book and his dialogue and comical reference points are reproduced in written form successfully. Even if you don't agree with his conclusions, some of which are serious and some are humorous - you can see his points and he argues his case both well and humorously in nearly every case.
The problem with the book is not in it's writing or content, but simply that it isn't really a book. There's no driving narrative, or intriguing plot. You read one rant, but you don't get that same excitement of knowing what's coming next as you would in a novel. Personally I think Clarkson's writing is better suited, excellent as it is - to it's original format. As a newspaper column, the rants are short enough and fun enough that you'd be left looking forward to reading what he had to say the next week. If you like to sit down and read for an hour, it's a bit too much.
I would say to get the best enjoyment out of this book, don't read it cover to cover. Read something else alongside and read one rant, then pick up the other for a break. It's worth reading, but it would be more enjoyable to read in small chunks.
Clarkson is very perceptive and has an endearing dry wit to writing. His success is in that he is obviously very intelligent, but humorously portrays himself as somewhat stupid. There are numerous references to Top Gear in this book and his dialogue and comical reference points are reproduced in written form successfully. Even if you don't agree with his conclusions, some of which are serious and some are humorous - you can see his points and he argues his case both well and humorously in nearly every case.
The problem with the book is not in it's writing or content, but simply that it isn't really a book. There's no driving narrative, or intriguing plot. You read one rant, but you don't get that same excitement of knowing what's coming next as you would in a novel. Personally I think Clarkson's writing is better suited, excellent as it is - to it's original format. As a newspaper column, the rants are short enough and fun enough that you'd be left looking forward to reading what he had to say the next week. If you like to sit down and read for an hour, it's a bit too much.
I would say to get the best enjoyment out of this book, don't read it cover to cover. Read something else alongside and read one rant, then pick up the other for a break. It's worth reading, but it would be more enjoyable to read in small chunks.
April 17, 2010
Being bored at the airport, watching Top Gear and looking at some of Clarkson's past paper columns convinced me to pick up this book; and I definitely don't regret it. A compilation of newspaper columns from 2006 / 2007 (which I'll admit, made some things slightly out of context - but nothing beats hindsight in some circumstances), Clarkson really doesn't hold back. Covering topics ranging from political correctness to traditional family Christmasses, there truly is something for everyone. One thing I also learnt, is that, no matter what anyone says - Clarkson speaks truth!
July 17, 2024
100% neiesaku. 90-tajos par to smietos
October 13, 2024
Even bearing in mind the age of this book and its outdated content it is a slow hard uphill struggle to read. I’ve always been a Clarkson fan… yes he is opinionated, blunt and sometimes way out of line but that’s his way and you either like him or not. That said, I think it is more a case of the topics he chose in this book were weak.
November 16, 2025
Bardzo luźna książka. Clarkson jest śmieszny więc też samą książkę się fajnie czyta. Co nie zmienia tego, że to jest taki luźny strumień jego myśli.
December 2, 2011
"So what, then, with my wealth of experience of the animal kingdom would I recommend if you don’t want a dog any more? Well, not a cat, obviously – despicable animals, the four-legged equivalent of a footballer’s wife: pretty, well groomed and clean but, fundamentally, only after your money."
"And why is the shipping forecast so bland? Why instead of ‘stormy’ don’t they say the sea’s ‘a frothing maelstrom of terror and hopelessness’?"
"Only last week we heard that scientists in the South American rainforest have found 24 previously unknown species including 12 dung beetles, a whole new ant, some fish and a rather fetching frog."
"It’s like casting Vinnie Jones as Mr Darcy."
"Anyway, I fully appreciate that in a post-Mrs Robinson world, where women work and raise children, stockings are to the wardrobe what the quill is to online banking. But here’s the thing, girls. Tell us that you won’t wear stockings because they are impractical and you may well find that we’ll give up as well. At the moment we tend not to pick our noses when in your company because it is a bit slovenly. But if you’re going to slob around in a pair of footless tights and a sack, then you won’t mind if we bury an index finger in each of our nostrils and dig away."
"It must be stockings, with a suspender belt, because what this combination does is mask everything that doesn’t matter and lay bare everything that does. A picture is nice, but before you hang it on the wall it needs a frame. And apart from anything else, if you flash your stocking tops at a man you can, and I mean this literally, get him to do anything you want. "
"Then there’s Wimbledon. Halfa trillion pounds’ worth of electronic projections say the ball was out. But sometimes, and I often feel for the hell of it, the umpire calls it in. And then docks the player points if he objects. But what’s the player supposed to do? He’s been on a court, solidly, since he was old enough to vomit. He’s never been out with a girl, he’s never had a beer, he’s never been allowed to masturbate. He has dedicated his whole life to this match and this moment and now some jumped-up power-crazed lunatic has denied him the point. Of course he’s going to be angry. Of course he’s going to throw his racket on the floor. If I were in charge of tennis, I would allow aggrieved players to actually punch the officials in certain circumstances."
Once again he does not disappoint!
I love his rants, they make me feel so much better. It's nice to know you're not the only one who wants to shoot these idiots in the face.
Thanks Jeremy Clarkson!
"And why is the shipping forecast so bland? Why instead of ‘stormy’ don’t they say the sea’s ‘a frothing maelstrom of terror and hopelessness’?"
"Only last week we heard that scientists in the South American rainforest have found 24 previously unknown species including 12 dung beetles, a whole new ant, some fish and a rather fetching frog."
"It’s like casting Vinnie Jones as Mr Darcy."
"Anyway, I fully appreciate that in a post-Mrs Robinson world, where women work and raise children, stockings are to the wardrobe what the quill is to online banking. But here’s the thing, girls. Tell us that you won’t wear stockings because they are impractical and you may well find that we’ll give up as well. At the moment we tend not to pick our noses when in your company because it is a bit slovenly. But if you’re going to slob around in a pair of footless tights and a sack, then you won’t mind if we bury an index finger in each of our nostrils and dig away."
"It must be stockings, with a suspender belt, because what this combination does is mask everything that doesn’t matter and lay bare everything that does. A picture is nice, but before you hang it on the wall it needs a frame. And apart from anything else, if you flash your stocking tops at a man you can, and I mean this literally, get him to do anything you want. "
"Then there’s Wimbledon. Halfa trillion pounds’ worth of electronic projections say the ball was out. But sometimes, and I often feel for the hell of it, the umpire calls it in. And then docks the player points if he objects. But what’s the player supposed to do? He’s been on a court, solidly, since he was old enough to vomit. He’s never been out with a girl, he’s never had a beer, he’s never been allowed to masturbate. He has dedicated his whole life to this match and this moment and now some jumped-up power-crazed lunatic has denied him the point. Of course he’s going to be angry. Of course he’s going to throw his racket on the floor. If I were in charge of tennis, I would allow aggrieved players to actually punch the officials in certain circumstances."
Once again he does not disappoint!
I love his rants, they make me feel so much better. It's nice to know you're not the only one who wants to shoot these idiots in the face.
Thanks Jeremy Clarkson!
February 3, 2012
If you don't like Jeremy Clarkson then do not read this book. You will not be pleasantly surprised, he hasn't changed. This book is Jeremy Clarkson getting angry about stuff. Stuff in this book includes schools, parties, the environment, music, dead seals, the monarchy, camping, James Bond, dead donkeys, television and the weather. Admittedly he doesn't always get angry, sometimes he just grumps. But if you've watched him on tv and thought he was an arse, don't buy this book and expect something different. He's Clarkson, he's made a career out of being a boorish, ranty, anti-lefty, car racing, grumpy top-end of middle-aged 'mans man'.
This collection of Sunday Times columns is great in my opinion. I don't often agree with Clarkson but his persona does make me laugh. And the great thing about this book is that you don't need to rush it. Every column is only 3 or 4 pages, so it's ideal for the bus, or the 10 minute wait in a doctors surgery or for those of you who don't eat enough roughage, for when you're in the loo.
It's not big and it's not clever. But it's fun.
This collection of Sunday Times columns is great in my opinion. I don't often agree with Clarkson but his persona does make me laugh. And the great thing about this book is that you don't need to rush it. Every column is only 3 or 4 pages, so it's ideal for the bus, or the 10 minute wait in a doctors surgery or for those of you who don't eat enough roughage, for when you're in the loo.
It's not big and it's not clever. But it's fun.
March 27, 2015
I am beginning to suspect that the persona Jeremy Clarkson presents through his writing is very much in line with the persona Stephen Colbert presents through his television show.
Is Clarkson conservative? Of course. Is he a bit of a douche sometimes? Many people would certainly agree with that. But the levels of bigotry and stereotypes he claims to agree with is just over the top enough to make me doubt his honesty. He wouldn't be as successful as he is if this wasn't a tongue-in-cheek assessment of the world. Read that with this in mind, and it's a very enjoyable book. Believe it word for word, and your blood pressure won't appreciate it one bit.
Is Clarkson conservative? Of course. Is he a bit of a douche sometimes? Many people would certainly agree with that. But the levels of bigotry and stereotypes he claims to agree with is just over the top enough to make me doubt his honesty. He wouldn't be as successful as he is if this wasn't a tongue-in-cheek assessment of the world. Read that with this in mind, and it's a very enjoyable book. Believe it word for word, and your blood pressure won't appreciate it one bit.
February 22, 2021
Ne slikta,bet biju gaidījusi ko vairāk. Tā īsti uzrunāja vien 5-7 stāsti, daži no tiem,visticamāk,tāpēc,ka saistāmi ar šī brīža situāciju- stāstā par saaukstēšanos pavīd reālas iezīmes tam,kas izskan šīs pandēmijas sakarā, lai arī raksts tapis 2006.gadā, kā arī par izglītību uzrunāja kontekstā ar attālināto mācīšanos. Iespaidu par grāmatu sagrāva Latvijas pieminēšana neglaimojošā kontekstā, kā arī bija apgrūtinoši lasīt, jo tekstā pārāk daudz minēto UK Tv "zvaigžņu" un citu slavenību, lai arī viens minējums aizveda mani pie ļoti vērtīgas raidījumu sērijas...
January 27, 2009
Typical Jeremy. There is always a large grain of truth in his sometimes outrageuos approch. He dares to say things many of us probably think and is wholly entertaining in the process. Keep them coming. Can't wait for Vol 4.
April 21, 2013
This is one of the better Clarkson books with quite a few laughs in it.
December 13, 2013
Good, but it's the book that sits in the loo for people to read. Not really something you'd sit and read cover to cover, more read little bits and put it down.
November 4, 2018
Tipiski Klarksona garā - ir, par ko pasmiet! :)
Cik zvaigznītes? Laikam jau 4,5...
Cik zvaigznītes? Laikam jau 4,5...
August 30, 2023
Ah Jeremy Clarkson. So offensive yet so funny. I felt attacked by his comment on small people “Those of, let’s say, 6 foot 5 are bound to be the brightest and cleverest and most advanced humans the world has ever seen, and those under 5 foot 5 are somewhere between the amoeba and the ape”. And his comment on cats: “So what, then, with my wealth of experience of the animal kingdom would I recommend if you don’t want a dog any more? Well, not a cat, obviously – despicable animals, the four-legged equivalent of a footballer’s wife: pretty, well groomed and clean but, fundamentally, only after your money.” But I still gave the book 5 stars. That’s how good a writer he is.
Some of my favorite quotes:
- “There seems to be a general sense that using more words than is strictly necessary is somehow polite.”
- “After endlessly having to study his (Shakespeare’s) plays on the school curriculum, generations of children have ventured into adulthood convinced that all literature is coma-inducingly dreary.” “at school, children should be encouraged to study books that make reading fun.”
- “the spy in the sky” = Google Maps
- “I can, however, end with a crumb of comfort for those of you whose children received poor reports last week. Nobody who is successful in life ever had a good one.”
- “having discovered a nodule of something unpleasant near my left elbow, became fairly convinced I’d become the first person in human history to catch arm cancer.”
- “dog-logs” = dog poo
- “Exams were a hiccup in the day; not the be-all and end-all of absolutely everything…I want them to enjoy it, to have fun. I can’t bear the thought of paying a small fortune every year so they can be put on a treadmill and emotionally flogged until they’re bulimic, suicidal and riddled with tics and angst. School is supposed to prepare a person for life, not wear them out.
This is what we all seem to have forgotten. Yes, we must do everything we can to keep our children safe. But we should also do everything we can to make them happy as well.”
- “if you inadvertently spill someone’s drink you’ll be invited into the car park to do pugilism”
- “vegetablist”
- “I genuinely believe we are born with a moral compass and we don’t need it reset every Sunday morning by some weird-beard communist in a dress. I am, as you may have gathered, completely irreligious, but it doesn’t stop me trying to be kind to others, and I’m never completely overwhelmed with a need to murder madmen in pulpits. Slightly overwhelmed sometimes, but never completely.”
Some of my favorite quotes:
- “There seems to be a general sense that using more words than is strictly necessary is somehow polite.”
- “After endlessly having to study his (Shakespeare’s) plays on the school curriculum, generations of children have ventured into adulthood convinced that all literature is coma-inducingly dreary.” “at school, children should be encouraged to study books that make reading fun.”
- “the spy in the sky” = Google Maps
- “I can, however, end with a crumb of comfort for those of you whose children received poor reports last week. Nobody who is successful in life ever had a good one.”
- “having discovered a nodule of something unpleasant near my left elbow, became fairly convinced I’d become the first person in human history to catch arm cancer.”
- “dog-logs” = dog poo
- “Exams were a hiccup in the day; not the be-all and end-all of absolutely everything…I want them to enjoy it, to have fun. I can’t bear the thought of paying a small fortune every year so they can be put on a treadmill and emotionally flogged until they’re bulimic, suicidal and riddled with tics and angst. School is supposed to prepare a person for life, not wear them out.
This is what we all seem to have forgotten. Yes, we must do everything we can to keep our children safe. But we should also do everything we can to make them happy as well.”
- “if you inadvertently spill someone’s drink you’ll be invited into the car park to do pugilism”
- “vegetablist”
- “I genuinely believe we are born with a moral compass and we don’t need it reset every Sunday morning by some weird-beard communist in a dress. I am, as you may have gathered, completely irreligious, but it doesn’t stop me trying to be kind to others, and I’m never completely overwhelmed with a need to murder madmen in pulpits. Slightly overwhelmed sometimes, but never completely.”
April 5, 2018
There is no other way to put it, Jeremy Clarkson is a bit of an ass. If you have the ability to look past his flaws, you can appreciate his viewpoint. I began following Jeremy because of his work on Top Gear. For Crying Out Loud highlighted several of his newspaper rants and it generally developed a story of a person who had a singular mission. He wanted to make the world a better place through humor. It is kind of hard to believe this, but it is kind of true. For Crying Out Loud makes this point well. It is funny, chaotic and bombastic. At times I agreed with his rants and at times not. Overall, it was a good read and I actually got a lot out of this book.
December 20, 2017
was funnier than the second book! this book is important because i read it at a time when some absolutely selfish pillocks conjured excuses for why they wouldn't do their bit for global warming. having read his columns beforehand, not getting incandescently angry at them wasn't so difficult. at least clarkson is honest about being self-interested and it appears he isn't the genuine panto villain people make him out to be.
September 25, 2017
I enjoy watching Clarkson on the old Top Gear episodes and the new Grand Tour on Amazon, so I had high hopes for this book. It is written in his unique style and view of the world, but unfortunately there were too many local references that don't translate to us here in America. Too often he would reference a specific person or place in England and I'd have no clue what he was talking about.
abandoned
August 7, 2019Time to shunt all my remaining unread Clarksons from my bookshelf (there's more than this one) The man writes well, he has a way with words and I've enjoyed other books of his despite rarely sharing his opinion. But the days we're in now, the 'posturing for entertainment' doesn't seem so funny. He's not Katie Hopkins or Donald Trump or Piers Morgan but he's an enabler.
September 9, 2019
Loud, brash, and opinionated. Those who are familiar with Jeremy Clarkson will be very much at home with his over the top exaggerating and dogmatic ways. I found this compilation of articles entertaining, funny, ridiculous, and infuriating. Great occasional read.
February 10, 2022
Despite being written in 2007, the topics are still relevant and humorous! I started reading an article a day! Hence the date of starting to read the book! Many Sunday Times column articles combined in a book! Mr Clarkson, you are a funny guy! I love your opinions and humour!
March 31, 2023
Whilst I am amused by some of his themes and the way it is written I can’t help but bristle at some of his right wing political views - I did go into it prepared to be irritated though and worth a read!
April 22, 2024
Some of this was offensive, and some of it was laugh out loud funny. What it is, is unapologetically Clarkson - and that I can respect. Handy book for picking up and reading a chapter of while was waiting for the kettle for a few minutes.
June 25, 2024
Well this book certainly mirrors what goes through every blokes mind week in week out…the world is so messed up and Jeremy clarkson does put a good spin on everything from politics to women’s shopping habits 😂
Very enjoyable read indeed
Very enjoyable read indeed
July 18, 2018
Scathing humour coupled with a fascinating viewpoint. An adept utilization of the english language.
November 29, 2018
OMG he is back ... not as funny IMHO as the first two books, but still love his non-pc, non-conformity and his wicked tongue firmly in cheek black humour.
Want to read
July 19, 2020elibrary
March 21, 2021
Laugh out Loud
A real tonic in a crazy world, though not for anyone who is easily offended by just about anything. Chill and enjoy!
A real tonic in a crazy world, though not for anyone who is easily offended by just about anything. Chill and enjoy!
November 14, 2021
Love Mr. Clarkson!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 118 reviews