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The Relatives
From the renowned author of Sweetness in the Belly , The Beauty of Humanity Movement and This Is Happy , comes a bold, urgent and richly imagined novel about what it means to be a family in our modern world.Lila is on a long, painful journey toward motherhood. Tess and Emily are reeling after their ugly separation and fighting over ownership of the embryos that were supposed to grow their family together. And thousands of miles away, the unknown man who served as anonymous donor to them all is being held in captivity in Somalia. While his life remains in precarious balance, his genetic material is a source of both creation and conflict.What does it mean to be a family in our rapidly shifting world? What are our responsibilities to each other with increasing options for how to create a family?As these characters grapple with life-altering changes, they will find themselves interconnected in ways they cannot have imagined, and forced to redefine what family means to them.
208 pages, Hardcover
First published March 23, 2021
15 people are currently reading
609 people want to read
About the author
Camilla Gibb
21 books303 followersFrom the author's web site:
"Camilla Gibb, born in 1968, is the author of three novels, Mouthing the Words, The Petty Details of So-and-so's Life and Sweetness in the Belly, as well as numerous short stories, articles and reviews.
She was the winner of the Trillium Book Award in 2006, a Scotiabank Giller Prize short list nominee in 2005, winner of the City of Toronto Book Award in 2000 and the recipient of the CBC Canadian Literary Award for short fiction in 2001. Her books have been published in 18 countries and translated into 14 languages and she was named by the jury of the prestigious Orange Prize as one of 21 writers to watch in the new century.
Camilla was born in London, England, and grew up in Toronto, Canada. She has a B.A. in anthropology and Middle Eastern studies from the University of Toronto, completed her Ph.D. in social anthropology at Oxford University in 1997, and spent two years at the University of Toronto as a post-doctoral research fellow before becoming a full-time writer.
Camilla has been writer-in-residence at the University of Alberta and the University of Toronto where, for the past two years, she served as an adjunct faculty member of the English Department's MA in Creative Writing Program.
She is currently working on a new novel and divides her time between Toronto and London, England."
"Camilla Gibb, born in 1968, is the author of three novels, Mouthing the Words, The Petty Details of So-and-so's Life and Sweetness in the Belly, as well as numerous short stories, articles and reviews.
She was the winner of the Trillium Book Award in 2006, a Scotiabank Giller Prize short list nominee in 2005, winner of the City of Toronto Book Award in 2000 and the recipient of the CBC Canadian Literary Award for short fiction in 2001. Her books have been published in 18 countries and translated into 14 languages and she was named by the jury of the prestigious Orange Prize as one of 21 writers to watch in the new century.
Camilla was born in London, England, and grew up in Toronto, Canada. She has a B.A. in anthropology and Middle Eastern studies from the University of Toronto, completed her Ph.D. in social anthropology at Oxford University in 1997, and spent two years at the University of Toronto as a post-doctoral research fellow before becoming a full-time writer.
Camilla has been writer-in-residence at the University of Alberta and the University of Toronto where, for the past two years, she served as an adjunct faculty member of the English Department's MA in Creative Writing Program.
She is currently working on a new novel and divides her time between Toronto and London, England."
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 109 reviews
March 10, 2024
4 "thought provoking, well constructed, a tad distant" stars !!
A ribbon of Excellence read for 2023
Thank you to Netgalley, the author and Doubleday Canada for an ecopy. This was released March 2021. I am providing an honest review.
Three stories intertwined brought together by a young man who donates sperm for childless people trying to conceive. Our donor, works in community development and gets kidnapped in Somalia. His plight leaves him with physical and psychological injury. A lesbian couple are at the end of their relationship but want to co-parent their son in a loving and stable fashion. An alcoholic social worker has to contend with serious boundary violations that she engages in a repetitive fashion as she has not dealt with her own impoverished history.
All three stories are fascinating and create many ethical and moral dilemmas that need to be addressed by these very different but intelligent characters. The author has done her research and the stories zing with authenticity and complexity. The writing is elegant, straightforward and polished.
I strongly feel that this could have been a small masterpiece had the author lengthened the book as well as going a little deeper in relational and emotional depth as I felt at times slightly detached from both difficult and harrowing experiences.
Well done Ms. Gibb and I would certainly read more by this author.
A ribbon of Excellence read for 2023
Thank you to Netgalley, the author and Doubleday Canada for an ecopy. This was released March 2021. I am providing an honest review.
Three stories intertwined brought together by a young man who donates sperm for childless people trying to conceive. Our donor, works in community development and gets kidnapped in Somalia. His plight leaves him with physical and psychological injury. A lesbian couple are at the end of their relationship but want to co-parent their son in a loving and stable fashion. An alcoholic social worker has to contend with serious boundary violations that she engages in a repetitive fashion as she has not dealt with her own impoverished history.
All three stories are fascinating and create many ethical and moral dilemmas that need to be addressed by these very different but intelligent characters. The author has done her research and the stories zing with authenticity and complexity. The writing is elegant, straightforward and polished.
I strongly feel that this could have been a small masterpiece had the author lengthened the book as well as going a little deeper in relational and emotional depth as I felt at times slightly detached from both difficult and harrowing experiences.
Well done Ms. Gibb and I would certainly read more by this author.
March 15, 2021
Not sure how I feel about this book. Took awhile to get into the separate stories. It does come together at the end but kind of abruptly ends.
I feel there could have been so much more to this story. It was a quick easy read. And would still recommend it.
Thanks to the author, the publisher and NetGalley for an early release of this book.
I feel there could have been so much more to this story. It was a quick easy read. And would still recommend it.
Thanks to the author, the publisher and NetGalley for an early release of this book.
August 1, 2022
4.5!
This book did have a slow start, and I thought it had way too many different POVs at first. But once you get into it, and their own personal dramas, you can’t help but get sucked into the story and their lives.
I really wish this book was longer though! I need more of these characters’ stories in my life. I love how they were all connected, even though this reveal comes much later in the book. I think it was well executed.
This book did have a slow start, and I thought it had way too many different POVs at first. But once you get into it, and their own personal dramas, you can’t help but get sucked into the story and their lives.
I really wish this book was longer though! I need more of these characters’ stories in my life. I love how they were all connected, even though this reveal comes much later in the book. I think it was well executed.
March 22, 2021
Three characters, connected - though they are unaware of their connection, grapple with the definition of family.
Lila is a social worker. Adopted as a young child, she knows virtually nothing about her biological parents other than that her mother was a teenaged refugee who committed suicide two years after Lila was born. This experience of being abandoned affects her work with children whom she wants to rescue: “I’d wanted to be a mother to a child who had experienced her deepest injuries elsewhere, rather than be the one responsible for the psychic damage I would undoubtedly cause a child of my own.” Each rescue attempt becomes a “shameful mess” that almost ends her career. However, having lost both of her adoptive parents, she yearns to have a family because “What is the point of a human life unrelated to any other human life?”
Tess has never wanted to be a mother. Her career is her focus and she worries how a child would affect her: “Even in the best circumstances, I’ve seen female colleagues lose their footing on the ladder once they have children.” Tess’s partner Emily pleads, so Tess finally agrees and gives birth to Max. Tess has “no instinct for babies” so Emily does most of the child care; it is only when Max is older that she enjoys spending time with him. Then after Tess and Emily have separated, Emily announces she wants to take one of Emily’s frozen embryos to have a child, though her pregnancy would be difficult. Tess does not want to give Emily an embryo because she does not want “’to be forced to assume the psychosocial burdens that come with being a genetic parent.’” Tess believes that being a parent tore apart her family.
Adam is the anonymous donor whose sperm is used by Tess. When he was young, he donated sperm to help pay his way through graduate school. He has no desire to be a father: “He sees himself as someone who simply went some small way toward helping people who wanted to become parents. And they helped him by paying him for a supply of something he has wasted plenty of in his life.” As the novel opens, Adam is being held captive by al-Shabaab in Somalia. Will the experience lead him “to want something more permanent? A home, a family’”?
The novel examines how lack of a stable family can affect people. Much of Lila, Tess and Adam’s feelings about family are a result of their childhood experiences. Lila’s early years were unstable; she didn’t form “a secure attachment” to her mother and was abandoned. Tess’s mother suffered with severe anxiety and depression so Tess was raised by her father and “protected” from her mother. Adam’s father committed suicide so he doesn’t even think of him as his father because “’A father is a man who is present in your life.’” Adam doesn’t think the world needs more children when so many are not cared for: “China is all over East Africa now, in mining and infrastructure, creating a generation of fatherless half-Chinese Africans who are being neglected and shunned. We’re such sloppy creatures, men, he thinks. What is the point of us? To just keep producing children? But we don’t even take care of the ones we have.”
The message, however, is that people can move past any deficiencies in the families to which they were born and create their own families which meet their needs. A woman who “wanted to be found by a mother. Remembered, longed for, searched for, found” can be a good mother to a child and so heal herself. A person can build “a sense of community” around a child and so create a family of sorts. Even the various children of a common sperm donor can construct a type of family: “children conceived with the same sperm . . . might one day be curious about or even known to each other” so no one knows “the kind of circles that start to form as a result of its dissemination.” I came across a comment by Camilla Gibb in a Chatelaine interview which I think summarizes the theme of this novel: “family is a feeling between people more than it is an arrangement” (https://www.chatelaine.com/living/boo...).
Characterization is outstanding. All the main characters are complex and flawed. There are times when the reader will disapprove or disagree with choices made by Lila, Tess, and Adam, but it is always possible to understand why they behave as they do. I found much of my interest lay in watching these three people learn and grow.
There is much to like about this book. The believable, complicated characters have very different but interesting stories which give the reader much to ponder.
Note: I received an eARC from the publisher via NetGalley.
Please check out my reader's blog (https://schatjesshelves.blogspot.com/) and follow me on Twitter (@DCYakabuski).
Lila is a social worker. Adopted as a young child, she knows virtually nothing about her biological parents other than that her mother was a teenaged refugee who committed suicide two years after Lila was born. This experience of being abandoned affects her work with children whom she wants to rescue: “I’d wanted to be a mother to a child who had experienced her deepest injuries elsewhere, rather than be the one responsible for the psychic damage I would undoubtedly cause a child of my own.” Each rescue attempt becomes a “shameful mess” that almost ends her career. However, having lost both of her adoptive parents, she yearns to have a family because “What is the point of a human life unrelated to any other human life?”
Tess has never wanted to be a mother. Her career is her focus and she worries how a child would affect her: “Even in the best circumstances, I’ve seen female colleagues lose their footing on the ladder once they have children.” Tess’s partner Emily pleads, so Tess finally agrees and gives birth to Max. Tess has “no instinct for babies” so Emily does most of the child care; it is only when Max is older that she enjoys spending time with him. Then after Tess and Emily have separated, Emily announces she wants to take one of Emily’s frozen embryos to have a child, though her pregnancy would be difficult. Tess does not want to give Emily an embryo because she does not want “’to be forced to assume the psychosocial burdens that come with being a genetic parent.’” Tess believes that being a parent tore apart her family.
Adam is the anonymous donor whose sperm is used by Tess. When he was young, he donated sperm to help pay his way through graduate school. He has no desire to be a father: “He sees himself as someone who simply went some small way toward helping people who wanted to become parents. And they helped him by paying him for a supply of something he has wasted plenty of in his life.” As the novel opens, Adam is being held captive by al-Shabaab in Somalia. Will the experience lead him “to want something more permanent? A home, a family’”?
The novel examines how lack of a stable family can affect people. Much of Lila, Tess and Adam’s feelings about family are a result of their childhood experiences. Lila’s early years were unstable; she didn’t form “a secure attachment” to her mother and was abandoned. Tess’s mother suffered with severe anxiety and depression so Tess was raised by her father and “protected” from her mother. Adam’s father committed suicide so he doesn’t even think of him as his father because “’A father is a man who is present in your life.’” Adam doesn’t think the world needs more children when so many are not cared for: “China is all over East Africa now, in mining and infrastructure, creating a generation of fatherless half-Chinese Africans who are being neglected and shunned. We’re such sloppy creatures, men, he thinks. What is the point of us? To just keep producing children? But we don’t even take care of the ones we have.”
The message, however, is that people can move past any deficiencies in the families to which they were born and create their own families which meet their needs. A woman who “wanted to be found by a mother. Remembered, longed for, searched for, found” can be a good mother to a child and so heal herself. A person can build “a sense of community” around a child and so create a family of sorts. Even the various children of a common sperm donor can construct a type of family: “children conceived with the same sperm . . . might one day be curious about or even known to each other” so no one knows “the kind of circles that start to form as a result of its dissemination.” I came across a comment by Camilla Gibb in a Chatelaine interview which I think summarizes the theme of this novel: “family is a feeling between people more than it is an arrangement” (https://www.chatelaine.com/living/boo...).
Characterization is outstanding. All the main characters are complex and flawed. There are times when the reader will disapprove or disagree with choices made by Lila, Tess, and Adam, but it is always possible to understand why they behave as they do. I found much of my interest lay in watching these three people learn and grow.
There is much to like about this book. The believable, complicated characters have very different but interesting stories which give the reader much to ponder.
Note: I received an eARC from the publisher via NetGalley.
Please check out my reader's blog (https://schatjesshelves.blogspot.com/) and follow me on Twitter (@DCYakabuski).
October 8, 2021
This book was not great, and I only finished it for book club. Thankfully this was a short read. Would not recommend.
April 7, 2021
Comments to follow. Thought provoking and affecting.
July 6, 2021
This was like reading 3 separate short stories, but you knew there had to be some connection since their stories unfolded on alternating chapters. When you finally realize what that connection is, the story has come to an end, and there are still so many questions unanswered. Even the choice of title was a mystery, since none of the characters had, or were involved with extended family.
A very well written, thought provoking book.
A very well written, thought provoking book.
June 2, 2021
Brilliant.
March 12, 2021
This was a short sweet read that I read in one sitting this afternoon. I will admit that it took me a bit to really get into the reading of this… connecting the disparate threads of these seemingly unrelated stories (I did not read anything about the title before I started reading… no blurb, nothing… so I had no idea what I was in for. I just knew it was one of my favourites… Camilla Gibb)...
This is Camilla Gibb continuing to do what she does best - writing what she knows. While this is clearly fiction, it is also clearly drawing on her own life experiences… the references to Harar, and the one ‘story’ being set in East Africa, the Horn of Africa (Somalia in particular in this turn)… the author returning to her time in East Africa as a student, which of course led to her previous - exquisite - novel Sweetness in the Belly. And then there are the circumstances of her own pregnancy and motherhood - as described in her memoir This is Happy.
The other thing I always adore about Camilla Gibb’s writing is her ability to write, to create, characters… characters who are relatable, flawed, and so human in all the messiness that that embodies. In these times when - and where and how - families are constituted in so many different ways - both biological and intentional - our literature must begin to explore the tangled webs of relationships - and ethical considerations - that result. What is so skillful about these stories, in particular, is the way in which she brings in secondary characters who address other - more tangential - aspects of the issues surrounding donor sperm without detracting - distracting, digressing - from the experiences of the main characters.
I did find that the ending was more abrupt than I would have liked, but I also believe that I am going to be thinking about the myriad of issues raised in the book for quite some time. I think I will have to recommend this to one of my book clubs so that I have an opportunity to hash some of these things out with friends.
Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for granting me access to an early digital review copy.
4.5 rounded to 5
This is Camilla Gibb continuing to do what she does best - writing what she knows. While this is clearly fiction, it is also clearly drawing on her own life experiences… the references to Harar, and the one ‘story’ being set in East Africa, the Horn of Africa (Somalia in particular in this turn)… the author returning to her time in East Africa as a student, which of course led to her previous - exquisite - novel Sweetness in the Belly. And then there are the circumstances of her own pregnancy and motherhood - as described in her memoir This is Happy.
The other thing I always adore about Camilla Gibb’s writing is her ability to write, to create, characters… characters who are relatable, flawed, and so human in all the messiness that that embodies. In these times when - and where and how - families are constituted in so many different ways - both biological and intentional - our literature must begin to explore the tangled webs of relationships - and ethical considerations - that result. What is so skillful about these stories, in particular, is the way in which she brings in secondary characters who address other - more tangential - aspects of the issues surrounding donor sperm without detracting - distracting, digressing - from the experiences of the main characters.
I did find that the ending was more abrupt than I would have liked, but I also believe that I am going to be thinking about the myriad of issues raised in the book for quite some time. I think I will have to recommend this to one of my book clubs so that I have an opportunity to hash some of these things out with friends.
Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for granting me access to an early digital review copy.
4.5 rounded to 5
March 16, 2022
3.5 (?) stars
This was an interesting little book. Considering how short it is, it took me forever to read, mostly because I found myself losing focus on it at a few points. While there were some good scenes, it wasn’t intensely action-packed at most moments. I had a bit of trouble keeping the storylines straight, but they came together eventually. I liked the ending, for the most part, but it felt a bit abrupt and inconclusive; some questions remained unanswered. I did appreciate the exploration of different ways that families can be created. Overall, I enjoyed the book, but I was expecting (or hoping for) a little bit more from it.
An ARC of this book was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review (which I am providing now that I’ve finished the book, even though it’s well beyond the book’s initial publication).
This was an interesting little book. Considering how short it is, it took me forever to read, mostly because I found myself losing focus on it at a few points. While there were some good scenes, it wasn’t intensely action-packed at most moments. I had a bit of trouble keeping the storylines straight, but they came together eventually. I liked the ending, for the most part, but it felt a bit abrupt and inconclusive; some questions remained unanswered. I did appreciate the exploration of different ways that families can be created. Overall, I enjoyed the book, but I was expecting (or hoping for) a little bit more from it.
An ARC of this book was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review (which I am providing now that I’ve finished the book, even though it’s well beyond the book’s initial publication).
March 24, 2021
A story of family and what it means in separate lives. Three storylines intertwine so beautifully in heartbreak and hope. Not often do I get emotional while reading but this novel pulled at my heartstrings. An engaging beautifully written masterpiece. This will sit with me for a while.
March 2, 2023
Finished this book but only because I’m a completionist. I almost gave up whenever Adam returned but decided to power through. This book is ridiculous. It’s about a bunch of deranged characters who behave so strangely it makes absolutely no sense. And the fact that they’re all connected by this one guy’s super amazing sperm is so childish it made me laugh.
Lila is such a cliche character it made my head hurt. Do people not know that any professional job in social services is so taxing that people have little to no opportunity to become weirdly attached and obsessed with just one child? Do they think these workers have that much time?
All these stories about single people obsessed with being moms is also bizarre to me. Maybe some single women just want to be single and child free. And not all of them are messed up. Lila was such a tedious character to read. And who really has nosy neighbours who ask invasive questions and make assumptions? No one is that important—your neighbour doesn’t even know you’re there forget caring about what your family circumstance is.
Tess seemed like an interesting character but she’s another trope—a woman who can’t imagine herself being a mother or pregnant ends up being both. Why do people keep writing these characters over and over again? There are people who do not want to do that to their bodies and they don’t want to be moms either. And Tess’s partner Emily is one incident away from being the crazy ex. She’s such a badly written plot device. She wants a child because her older son asked for one? But never talked to her partner about it? And is she really prepared for it? And the whole idea that Emily is using Tess’s eggs is so daft—that seems illegal. That storyline sort of never finishes. It’s just left hanging like the author ran out of ideas.
So let’s get to Adam. It’s a sordid tale. It’s purposefully written to be inciteful and othering. The book came across as Islamophobic. I’m not saying there aren’t issues in the world and particular cultures. But the book actively paints just one religion as having abhorrent practices as opposed to any others. I’d understand if there were extremists in one corner and regular Muslim folk in another but nope. The one chapter that Sophie has suggests that all people of that particular faith have a really skewed way of dealing with the world. Her father wants Sophie to become a mother? That’s how she gets 2mill from him? Odd choice.
Sophie then forcing Adam into trying to become a parent is so messed up since he’s obviously traumatized. Again, none of these characters, especially the majority female cast of characters, act or react like real people.
The book sort of ends all of a sudden and I honestly didn’t care about the abrupt end. I was just glad it was over. How did this book get nominated for the Toronto Book Awards (that’s why I read it)? It’s badly written, poorly plotted and the characters are unbelievable.
Hard pass.
Lila is such a cliche character it made my head hurt. Do people not know that any professional job in social services is so taxing that people have little to no opportunity to become weirdly attached and obsessed with just one child? Do they think these workers have that much time?
All these stories about single people obsessed with being moms is also bizarre to me. Maybe some single women just want to be single and child free. And not all of them are messed up. Lila was such a tedious character to read. And who really has nosy neighbours who ask invasive questions and make assumptions? No one is that important—your neighbour doesn’t even know you’re there forget caring about what your family circumstance is.
Tess seemed like an interesting character but she’s another trope—a woman who can’t imagine herself being a mother or pregnant ends up being both. Why do people keep writing these characters over and over again? There are people who do not want to do that to their bodies and they don’t want to be moms either. And Tess’s partner Emily is one incident away from being the crazy ex. She’s such a badly written plot device. She wants a child because her older son asked for one? But never talked to her partner about it? And is she really prepared for it? And the whole idea that Emily is using Tess’s eggs is so daft—that seems illegal. That storyline sort of never finishes. It’s just left hanging like the author ran out of ideas.
So let’s get to Adam. It’s a sordid tale. It’s purposefully written to be inciteful and othering. The book came across as Islamophobic. I’m not saying there aren’t issues in the world and particular cultures. But the book actively paints just one religion as having abhorrent practices as opposed to any others. I’d understand if there were extremists in one corner and regular Muslim folk in another but nope. The one chapter that Sophie has suggests that all people of that particular faith have a really skewed way of dealing with the world. Her father wants Sophie to become a mother? That’s how she gets 2mill from him? Odd choice.
Sophie then forcing Adam into trying to become a parent is so messed up since he’s obviously traumatized. Again, none of these characters, especially the majority female cast of characters, act or react like real people.
The book sort of ends all of a sudden and I honestly didn’t care about the abrupt end. I was just glad it was over. How did this book get nominated for the Toronto Book Awards (that’s why I read it)? It’s badly written, poorly plotted and the characters are unbelievable.
Hard pass.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 25, 2021
This is a story of 3 different parenting storylines, all seemingly unaligned, and then you realize they are somehow loosely connected. I would have preferred to follow 2 storylines thoroughly than 3 superficially. Gibb created a few unique dilemmas around pregnancy, the rights of those involved in artificial insemination and the emotions associated with biological parenting vs non bio parenting. I wasn’t a huge fan of Adam’s story, it seemed scattered and misdirected. Tess’s story was much more engaging and seemed to have a clear focus. The name of the 3rd one escapes me - I guess that is evidence that it was not a powerful character to be remembered. My rating is for Tess’s story, it raised a lot of strong questions and had the most relatable experiences. But overall, kind of underwhelming.
September 21, 2022
Nominated for the Toronto Book Award, Camilla Gibb's book The Relatives is an unnerving, beautiful, and deeply unresolved set of interconnected stories.
We meet Lila, Tess, and Adam - three people unknown to one another but deeply connected - as they navigate significant life events ranging from the death of a parent and alcohol dependence to divorce and negotiation around embryo-ownership to kidnapping and torture on another continent.
The writing is spare and the book very short, but it still manages incredible tension, profound character development, and pathos. There is no neat bow to tie everything up but there is beauty and vulnerability and so much love.
There are many gorgeous lines throughout, but this one about motherhood was particularly perfect: "His existence makes sense of mine."
We meet Lila, Tess, and Adam - three people unknown to one another but deeply connected - as they navigate significant life events ranging from the death of a parent and alcohol dependence to divorce and negotiation around embryo-ownership to kidnapping and torture on another continent.
The writing is spare and the book very short, but it still manages incredible tension, profound character development, and pathos. There is no neat bow to tie everything up but there is beauty and vulnerability and so much love.
There are many gorgeous lines throughout, but this one about motherhood was particularly perfect: "His existence makes sense of mine."
March 21, 2021
Thank you to Penguin Random House Canada and NetGalley for an opportunity to read The Relatives
✔️ really interesting concept of exploring three families interconnected through one sperm donor
✔️ always enjoy Camilla Gibbs writing style and this one doesn’t disappoint either
✔️explores some interesting topics like adoption, kidnapping ( not of a child - of a foreign service agent in Africa for ransom etc)
✖️ this book is quite short and I felt a bit rushed- it felt like all the stories weren’t explored fully
✖️an abrupt ending 🤷♀️
Book Rating : ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Cover rating : 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟
✔️ really interesting concept of exploring three families interconnected through one sperm donor
✔️ always enjoy Camilla Gibbs writing style and this one doesn’t disappoint either
✔️explores some interesting topics like adoption, kidnapping ( not of a child - of a foreign service agent in Africa for ransom etc)
✖️ this book is quite short and I felt a bit rushed- it felt like all the stories weren’t explored fully
✖️an abrupt ending 🤷♀️
Book Rating : ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
Cover rating : 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟
May 14, 2021
Not much more than a novella, these are the intertwined stories of 3 characters whose connection doesn't become apparent until the end. Rootless Lila, disaffected Tess, and damaged Adam were immediately understandable to me through their actions and speech and I empathized with them all. How much of our successful emotional balance depends on having a listener, a responder, even if their response threatens to throw you off the seesaw?
Plus I learned what diblings are. Worth a star all by itself. Yay Canadian writers!
Plus I learned what diblings are. Worth a star all by itself. Yay Canadian writers!
September 9, 2023
This story has several viewpoints from a sperm donor and several of the families who have given birth to babies and their stories. It was interesting weave of characters and events.
May 21, 2024
3.75
c’était bien, mais on prend un certain temps à s’attacher aux personnages
c’était bien, mais on prend un certain temps à s’attacher aux personnages
April 16, 2021
The Relatives is an interesting book given today's many different ways to conceive a child. This book takes you through four different scenarios and how they are all linked. Camillia Gibb gives us lots to think about and it's not just about having a baby! Gender and identity, personality and parenting are not the only criteria in the modern world of having babies. Human rights and just the need to know, also play into this whole new world of parenting. A very thoughtful and interesting book, it does leave you asking a lot of questions. I enjoyed this book very much and find that the subject is quite timely.
March 1, 2021
Canadian author Camilla Gibb might not exactly be a household name in her native country (yet), but if you have been around literary circles, you will have heard of her. Before she was being published by the likes of Doubleday Canada, I’m pretty sure she was a featured reader at the TREE Reading Series in Ottawa in the early 2000s — a series that I used to frequent and read at during the open mic sets. (I tried to verify if Gibb was a featured reader at TREE as fact and bolster my memory as to if and when she read, but when I went to visit the official homepage of the reading series to do some research, I was greeted with a warning from my web browser that to do so would be a major security risk — so I’ll just have to take my memory on faith.) Well, I have to say that her latest and forthcoming novel, The Relatives, is a firecracker of a read — one that should be destined to get her again to the shortlist for the Scotiabank Giller Prize in Canada, if not other awards.
I’d like to tell you what The Relatives is all about, but I want to do so with a caveat or two. For one, while this book is a novel, it is a noticeably short novel that clocks in at about 200 pages. You can easily read the book in one or two sittings. Thus, to say a lot about it risks giving away entire plot points or even the ending of the book! Two, this is the kind of book that might be best read by those who don’t have a lot of knowledge of what the book’s about — although it probably will endear itself to female readers best, as a lot of the book is about motherhood and being a parent. (It also seems to draw a lot on the author’s personal experiences, from what I can understand.) It might be best to do yourself a favour and steer clear of any review, including this one, until you’ve read the book, digested it, and are ready to have a conversation with it.
Read the rest of the review here: https://zachary-houle.medium.com/a-re...
I’d like to tell you what The Relatives is all about, but I want to do so with a caveat or two. For one, while this book is a novel, it is a noticeably short novel that clocks in at about 200 pages. You can easily read the book in one or two sittings. Thus, to say a lot about it risks giving away entire plot points or even the ending of the book! Two, this is the kind of book that might be best read by those who don’t have a lot of knowledge of what the book’s about — although it probably will endear itself to female readers best, as a lot of the book is about motherhood and being a parent. (It also seems to draw a lot on the author’s personal experiences, from what I can understand.) It might be best to do yourself a favour and steer clear of any review, including this one, until you’ve read the book, digested it, and are ready to have a conversation with it.
Read the rest of the review here: https://zachary-houle.medium.com/a-re...
June 14, 2023
⭐ 3.5
"Family is a feeling between people more than it is an arrangement."
"What is the point of a human life unrelated to any other human life?"
"Family is a feeling between people more than it is an arrangement."
"What is the point of a human life unrelated to any other human life?"
October 14, 2022
Like the book but the ending left me with more questions than answers
August 24, 2023
A slim work of fiction, The Relatives by Camilla Gibb is an understated book that’s been hiding away on my bookshelf for two years. But I love Gibb’s writing, so even though it took me awhile to get to this one, I finally settled in to enjoy it this past week. The emotions are big, but they happen quietly and off to the side. I reviewed Gibb’s memoir here many years ago, and although I can’t remember it at all now, it appears as though I found it an uplifting read. I can’t say the same about this latest book, but it is beautifully written, and the few characters we meet are memorable.
Plot Summary
This book can be read two different ways; it’s a story of interconnected people unaware of their relation to one another, or it’s three separate novellas, each self-contained and powerful. Lila’s story begins as one of sadness; she’s a social worker and a struggling alcoholic who is working to put her career back together. She’s assigned a challenging case where a young girl, Robin, refuses to speak. Robin was found wandering alone, malnourished and timid, and Lila immediately begins to see herself as Robin’s saviour, dreaming of a life where she can foster her. Then we meet Adam, an American who is deployed to dangerous places to investigate military misconduct when he is recently kidnapped by brutal terrorists in Somalia. Lastly we return back to a more domestic storyline with Tess, a woman whose marriage to her wife Emily is over, but they share a son Max, who was conceived with donated sperm. Emily wants to have another baby with Tess’s eggs, but Tess engages a lawyer to stop this, as she does not want the burden of having another child, even if she isn’t expected to actively parent it. Each story eventually ties back into one another, although we leave each scenario in a very different spot from where they each started.
My Thoughts
All three storylines are compelling and self-contained enough to carry their own weight. I would have been pleased if any of the three stories made up the entirety of the book – each scenario and associated characters quickly drew me in, engaging me almost immediately. Adam’s kidnapping is an abrupt change of scene from the other two plots, but despite his terrifying ordeal, his storyline also remains quite insular. Much of the narrative is driven by inward thoughts, decisions and struggles rather than dialogue. Suffering is a major theme; some suffering is physical but most is emotional, inflicted by life’s circumstances. The kidnappers in Somalia are seemingly the only true villains of the story.
Because we spend such a short time with each character, I never truly felt like I understood any of them. Their actions frequently left me baffled, or annoyed, but I still wanted to read more about them and find out how their lives continued. I wish the book had been longer because I wasn’t ready to leave any one of them. Both Lila and Tess’s storylines include women who believe having a baby will solve their problems and or/romantic relationships, which is a common belief I personally find infuriating. How could these women be so delusional? What makes them think taking care of ANOTHER human being will make anything in their own life easier? Despite wanted to shout at them through the pages, I couldn’t stop reading, because sometimes throwing a book across the room is a sign of great writing too.
Lila’s storyline was my favourite because it gives a glimpse into the life and process of a social worker – none of it easy! Robin’s case is a difficult one for many reasons; the obvious trauma she’s been through, the difficulty in understanding how to help someone when they won’t communicate, etc. There is not much resolution in her case (although there is hope), and that can be said for all the characters. There is never resolution, there is never an easy way out, but they all continue regardless of the challenges. It’s for this reason that I found this book to be so realistic, above all else.
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Plot Summary
This book can be read two different ways; it’s a story of interconnected people unaware of their relation to one another, or it’s three separate novellas, each self-contained and powerful. Lila’s story begins as one of sadness; she’s a social worker and a struggling alcoholic who is working to put her career back together. She’s assigned a challenging case where a young girl, Robin, refuses to speak. Robin was found wandering alone, malnourished and timid, and Lila immediately begins to see herself as Robin’s saviour, dreaming of a life where she can foster her. Then we meet Adam, an American who is deployed to dangerous places to investigate military misconduct when he is recently kidnapped by brutal terrorists in Somalia. Lastly we return back to a more domestic storyline with Tess, a woman whose marriage to her wife Emily is over, but they share a son Max, who was conceived with donated sperm. Emily wants to have another baby with Tess’s eggs, but Tess engages a lawyer to stop this, as she does not want the burden of having another child, even if she isn’t expected to actively parent it. Each story eventually ties back into one another, although we leave each scenario in a very different spot from where they each started.
My Thoughts
All three storylines are compelling and self-contained enough to carry their own weight. I would have been pleased if any of the three stories made up the entirety of the book – each scenario and associated characters quickly drew me in, engaging me almost immediately. Adam’s kidnapping is an abrupt change of scene from the other two plots, but despite his terrifying ordeal, his storyline also remains quite insular. Much of the narrative is driven by inward thoughts, decisions and struggles rather than dialogue. Suffering is a major theme; some suffering is physical but most is emotional, inflicted by life’s circumstances. The kidnappers in Somalia are seemingly the only true villains of the story.
Because we spend such a short time with each character, I never truly felt like I understood any of them. Their actions frequently left me baffled, or annoyed, but I still wanted to read more about them and find out how their lives continued. I wish the book had been longer because I wasn’t ready to leave any one of them. Both Lila and Tess’s storylines include women who believe having a baby will solve their problems and or/romantic relationships, which is a common belief I personally find infuriating. How could these women be so delusional? What makes them think taking care of ANOTHER human being will make anything in their own life easier? Despite wanted to shout at them through the pages, I couldn’t stop reading, because sometimes throwing a book across the room is a sign of great writing too.
Lila’s storyline was my favourite because it gives a glimpse into the life and process of a social worker – none of it easy! Robin’s case is a difficult one for many reasons; the obvious trauma she’s been through, the difficulty in understanding how to help someone when they won’t communicate, etc. There is not much resolution in her case (although there is hope), and that can be said for all the characters. There is never resolution, there is never an easy way out, but they all continue regardless of the challenges. It’s for this reason that I found this book to be so realistic, above all else.
To read the rest of my reviews, please visit my blog:
https://ivereadthis.com/
Sign up for my newsletter here: https://ivereadthis.com/subscribe/
Or follow me on social media!
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Ivereadthis/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD6E...
May 31, 2021
This superb novel is 197 pages but feels far more expansive than that. Camilla Gibb is exceptional at writing about people who are searching for something — themselves, a truth about their pasts, or some deeper meaning. She does so with seeming ease, highlighting, above all, the importance of human connection. This book is filled with beautiful, powerful, sometimes harsh truths and poignant, uncommon insights, so much so that I dog-earred almost a third of its pages so that I can return and take notes. This would be a difficult book for anyone to pull off — with its long cast of characters and difficult and complicated subject matter — but Gibb does so with grace and precision. She is surely one of the best Canadian novelists writing today, if not *the* best. I will now happily, reverently add this book to that special shelf in my collection reserved for favourites — and books that touched me deeply.
August 17, 2021
Camilla Gibb writes like a dream. She seems to know deeply the places she writes about and they range from a condo at Toronto's Bathurst and Sheppard, to a Greek island, its people and its food, to refugee and prison camps in East Africa. I enjoyed the alternating perspectives and trusted that the author would bring them together, which she did. The book is too short, almost like she ran out of things to say about her characters. Also, I couldn't make sense of the wrap up of Adam's story. One minute he's on a bench in California contemplating suicide and the next time we read about him we hear he died in East Africa. Still, the themes in this book are very contemporary and even though the characters are young, and carrying a lot of resentment and/or anger, they are so human, and I could relate to every one of them.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 23, 2021
I’m really glad I read this book. I didn’t know a lot about it when I started it yesterday, so had no preconceived sense of it. It’s a quick read - about 200 pages. Without going into a lot of detail about the plot, there are three individual stories, told in different chapters, that kind of have a thematic link. The writing seems very ‘real’ - a few times I had to check with myself that I was reading fiction! I believed in the people in the stories, and I wanted to know what happened to all of them. There’s no way you would call these people (I don’t even think of them as characters) perfect, but them seem very human.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early release copy of the book.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an early release copy of the book.
April 2, 2021
3.5 rounded up - a really intimate look at the intricacies of one lesbian couple’s journey to parenthood and the complications involved in coparenting after the romantic relationship breaks down. The secondary story of their sperm donor and his captivity in Somalia I found less interesting - it’s obviously a horrible thing people over there are going through I just felt that the two storylines didn’t mesh as well together (for me) - I almost would have preferred two different novels dedicated to each story separately. She did tie it all together in the end but sort of ended it abruptly without a satisfying (for me) resolution. Overall I think I wanted more - the novel is on the shorter side. Her writing is beautiful and I greedily wanted to keep reading about these characters.
July 17, 2021
In a way I feel better about this book after reading some of the other reviews. Initially I felt it was incomplete and sad. I had so many questions about Adam. What really happened to him in Africa? Who was Oskar? Did he really exist? What happened afterwards? Did Adam learn Arabic and go to Iraq? Or did he commit suicide as is implied at one point? The reviews, however, seem to treat the book as interconnected short stories focusing on the women and their issues around fertility and motherhood. In short stories I know there are often unanswered questions (which is why I am not crazy about them). Taken from that point of view, there is a lot to think about regarding IVF, sperm donation, “ownership” of embryos, and other ethical considerations.
August 10, 2021
.The concept of family is told through the viewpoint of three main characters: Lila, Tess and Adam. The glimpses into each character’s life are very disparate initially. However,. as the story progresses, the reader gains more understanding of how the MCs are connected as well as how family dynamics can be deeply (and unconsciously) influenced by childhood experiences.
This book was not what I expected (in a good way!) based on the title and blurb. While initially frustrated with the jumps between characters, I was drawn into the story as it steadily gained momentum. Then suddenly, (and to my great disappointment) the novel was over!
Overall it was an enjoyable read and I’d recommend this novel to others.
Thanks ever so much to the author/publisher/NetGalley for providing me with an early copy of this title. Up to this point, I had never read books written by this author and am glad I have had the opportunity to do so now.
This book was not what I expected (in a good way!) based on the title and blurb. While initially frustrated with the jumps between characters, I was drawn into the story as it steadily gained momentum. Then suddenly, (and to my great disappointment) the novel was over!
Overall it was an enjoyable read and I’d recommend this novel to others.
Thanks ever so much to the author/publisher/NetGalley for providing me with an early copy of this title. Up to this point, I had never read books written by this author and am glad I have had the opportunity to do so now.
August 5, 2022
I’ve been mulling this one since writing a first review.
Here’s what I liked:
-three different stories that almost felt like separate short stories. They really pull you in; each character is fascinating and each struggling with their own family-related issues
-love a good Canadian story!
-things came together and made the three separate stories cohesive
-really complex characters; none of them were really likeable, but they were relatable. The human experience is one of flaws and each of them represented that well
Here’s what I had trouble with:
-the abrupt ending. Nothing felt resolved, and that was disappointing
-keeping track of each story got harder as details were revealed as the story went on
Bumping my initial score of 3 stars to a 4 after this reflection.
Here’s what I liked:
-three different stories that almost felt like separate short stories. They really pull you in; each character is fascinating and each struggling with their own family-related issues
-love a good Canadian story!
-things came together and made the three separate stories cohesive
-really complex characters; none of them were really likeable, but they were relatable. The human experience is one of flaws and each of them represented that well
Here’s what I had trouble with:
-the abrupt ending. Nothing felt resolved, and that was disappointing
-keeping track of each story got harder as details were revealed as the story went on
Bumping my initial score of 3 stars to a 4 after this reflection.
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