MURDER IN THE FAMILY: HOW THE SEARCH FOR MY MOTHER'S KILLER LED

by Jeff Blackstock

Diplomat father. Murdered mother. Emotionally neglected children. An elaborate cover-up. Family dinners will never be the same.

"I think that my father murdered my mother."

That terrible belief spurs author Jeff Blackstock to investigate the circumstances of his mother Carol's death in 1959. Carol Blackstock died at age 24--poisoned by arsenic--but the cause of her death remained shrouded in mystery for decades. George Blackstock was a career diplomat in Canada's foreign service, posted to glamorous Buenos Aires in the late 1950s with his wife Carol and their three children. A little more than a year after the family's arrival, the vivacious young mother, now emaciated and in terrible pain, was transferred to Montreal for treatment of a mysterious illness that proved fatal. Within a year, George Blackstock had remarried, and a young woman named Ingrid became the feared stepmother to Jeff and his two siblings.

Carol's parents immediately had suspicions about their son-in-law George but were unable to get justice for their murdered daughter. Class privilege--George was the scion of a Toronto establishment family and Carol was from modest beginnings--and an aversion to scandal all figured in an apparent cover-up. But secrets have a way of eventually disrupting all families. A damning autopsy report about arsenic poisoning, found among their grandmother's effects, leads Jeff Blackstock and his sister to horrifying revelations about their father. Eventually, they confront him and accuse him of their mother's murder. But George offers only vague explanations that don't add up. George died a broken man, mostly abandoned by his adult children.

A compelling story of a high-society murder, a heartbreaking tale of emotionally neglected children, and an inquiry into the power and privilege of the Anglo upper classes of the time, Murder in the Family chronicles the shocking legacy of deeply buried secrets and betrayal in one's own family.

Genres: Nonfiction, True Crime, Crime, Canada, Memoir, Audiobook, Family

352 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2020

Reviews

[Rachel (TheShadesofOrange) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.0 Stars
This was such a compelling piece of true crime. The narrative was cohesive, providing an engrossing account of this family tragedy. As the prologue explained, there is not concrete conclusion with hard evidence in this case. A lot of the details of the crime are coloured by the family's conjecture and speculation. However, I found there to be enough sound reasoning behind the accusations to believe that the father's guilt.
I would highly recommend to anyone looking for an immersive true crime story.

[Joel Wentz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full disclosure: Jeff Blackstock is my father-in-law. I've known the general contours of this story for years now, and have had many conversations with him about these events before the publication of the book. So take what follows with that in mind.

This is a genuinely engrossing, and disturbing, read. The fact that it's a memoir based on true events only dials up the disturbing factor. The heartbeat of it is a portrait of a sociopath of a father who apparently got away with the most chilling crime imaginable, leaving a trail of emotional destruction in his wake.

Something that impressed me about the final product is the amount of research Jeff did - there are many, many clips of personal letters, doctor's notes, government files, and such that lend a great deal of credibility to the case being laid out. There are also emotionally gripping scenes of confrontation, denial and manipulation. At points I struggled with some of the writing style (lots of short, clipped sentences) but at other points it really does read like a murder mystery novel. There were times I had a hard time putting it down (which is even more impressive, because I basically knew the story going into the book!).

The ultimate outcome is distressing. The lack of true justice for Carol, and especially the damage it's all done to the family, is difficult to read about, but necessary to confront the darker side of what humans are capable of. If you are up for a dark, true murder mystery that teases at themes like emotional manipulation, empathy, forgiveness and justice, then this is a great book to pick up.

[Ceeceereads · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book. I am honestly still trying to gather my thoughts. I have been riveted to this devastating story, unable to put it down. Aside from the fact that it is extremely well written and presented in a concise and balanced manner, it is also completely chilling. The manipulation shocked me, the manner of it was so senseless and cruel; the betrayal of all betrayals. I have found myself still thinking about it after having closed the book. After all the lies they’ve had to wade through, they got to finally tell their mother’s story and perhaps in doing so, brought their own piece of justice in bringing truth to light.

I recommend this book to anyone who was deeply moved by The Glass Castle, Educated, Tell Me Who I Am. In fact I can’t recommend it enough. 5 stars.

[Erin Clemence · Rating 3 out of 5]

Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free, electronic ARC of this novel received in exchange for an honest review.

Expected publication date: September 1, 2020

Jeff’s mother, Carol, was 24 years old when she passed away after months of a debilitating illness. None of her doctors could (or would) identify what killed her and for years, Jeff and his siblings lived with unanswered questions. Finally, while searching through his grandfathers’ papers after his death, Jeff’s suspicions come to light- his mother was poisoned, and his father was responsible. Due to his years of public service for the government, Jeff’s father was never charged for his mother’s murder, and Jeff discovered many, many layers of governmental cover-ups that kept his father’s secret.

George Blackstock was a diplomat who served across the world, as a representative of Canada. The story starts in Argentina, where young Carol dies. The Blackstock’s are wealthy, well-known and respected throughout the ex-pat and diplomatic community, especially George with his charisma and charm. When Jeff turns to some of George’s friends for answers about Carol’s death, they clam up, hinting at a much wider group of people who knew about Carol’s death and kept it quiet.

A government cover-up is not really surprising (although as a Canadian it is disappointing, it’s not particularly unexpected), regardless of the country. But to think that they went to such lengths to cover up the death of a young woman is appalling. Jeff focused a lot on the government positions, the various figures in government at the time, and all of the high-society gatherings and socials. I would’ve liked more on George as a person, and less on the government functions. I wanted more psychopathology, and less Canadian history.

The chapters were long, each taking place at a different location or time in the narrative, but still particularly entertaining. The ending did not serve justice, in my opinion, but it is a sad and realistic truth. I want to know more about George, from his perspective (although George was unwilling to share what really happened with Jeff, even at the very end so I don’t see that ever happening).

I am glad that Blackstock found the answers to his mothers’ strange illness and subsequent death, but I can only imagine the frustration that not being able to get justice would cause. Why Blackstock works in the same field as his father, among the very same departments that chose to cover up his mother’s death, is another question I’d field to the author. Overall, “Murder in the Family” was a tale of government corruption and a father’s secrets that will leave you disturbed and heartbroken.

[Anolting · Rating 5 out of 5]

I reserve 5 star ratings for books that I couldn’t put down. This book definitely fits this category.

[Rachel Stienberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a really interesting story, but it's always awkward rating/reviewing memoirs and personal stories, due to the intimate nature of it. But seriously, this family history might have been conveyed better if it had been ghost written. Unfortunately this falls under the category of memoirs that use suspiciously convenient quotes that toss out a few red flags, like a couple years prior remembering word for word an ominous quote based on Shakespeare to conclude a chapter, hinting at the internal struggle of darkness? Letters, transcripts, recordings, and recent dialogue all have a place in this book, but also really specific conversation quotes from five+ years back? A little unlikely to have to perfect recall.

[Christa Ohlman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a “Blind Date with a Book” given to me by a friend and it was such a pleasant surprise!

I’m not usually a fan of non fiction, but the author writes in story form so I found it much easier to read. It honestly read like a thriller and I was gripped the whole time.

This is a shocking story and I kept having to remind myself that this actually happened. If you like true crime and mystery you will enjoy this book!

[Roger H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I am a retired Canadian Foreign Service Officer and worked in the Trade Stream. However, even if I have seen Jeff’s name within the Department of Foreign Affairs (but had never heard of his father), our paths never crossed and I had never heard of the story presented in this book.

This book was recommended by a couple of ex-colleagues (who also didn’t know or met the author). It is true that it is a compelling read especially as it is not based on fiction. The author acknowledges that he wasn’t able to fully confirm his hypothesis but the facts really point in that direction - although, he also presents occasions when his father (the presumed murderer) was able to regularly put doubts in his mind.

As a side note, the story presents some good tidbits of life in the foreign service - the pressure on the family, especially for the children who are uprooted from their links with grandparents and friends; the long hours and the need to adapt to various customs with postings in different continents; the pressure on and (still) low recognition of role of non-working spouse.

In conclusion, I cannot imagine what it would have been for the author to live his teenage and adult years in such a difficult family environment.

[Siobhan Ward · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book genuinely read like a thriller - all the layers that came together to make a great story were so well-written (and frankly wild) that if I didn't know I were reading a nonfiction book, I would have assumed this was off the mystery/thriller shelf at the library.

Blackstock's work is well-researched, engaging and interesting. He explains things in a way that is informative without being condescending, and manages to bring everyone up to speed without moving too quickly. If you're a Canadian looking for a true crime book that's close to home, this is a great place to start.

[Karine Hopper · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t recommend this book enough. I couldn’t put it down. It is at times infuriating because of the inaction of people in positions of power that could have done something. Absolutely moving. If you have an interest in not just true crime, but also Canadian history and society, and depictions of family dynamics, you should read this book.

[Coral · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting and sad story. Carol Blackstock was murdered and promptly forgotten about by nearly everyone except her children and a few close friends. So many others were eager to sweep her and her death under the rug for the sake of comfort. Even though there won’t ever be true justice for her and her children, her story lives on now through this book. A tribute to her shortened life.

[Erika Nerdypants · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a story. If this were fiction, you would have a hard time believing it. So often genre bending doesn't work, but Jeff Blackstock pulls off true crime meets memoir perfectly. Every time I had to close the audiobook version, because you know, life, I couldn't wait to get back to it.

[Halli Villegas · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought this for my daughter for Christmas. Neither of us as true crime junkies was particularly thrilled by it. I would say that for "my father is a killer," The Black Dahlia Avenger by Steve Hodel is much better.

[Kathryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Over the the past month, I have been working on a large clan of prominent families in my geneology research. I saw that my local church in BC had posted the 2019 annual report. In it are the names of deceased for that year. I started to enter them into Wikitree and research their families. One family, the Horans, married into the Blackstock family in Ontario. This particular branch of Blackstock also married another prominent pioneer family, the Gooderhams. William Gooderham Sr. was known as a distiller and miller. One of his granddaughters, Harriet Victoria Gooderham, married Thomas Gibbs Blackstock. Harriet and Thomas had 2 children, Katherine and George Edwin.

In researching this family, and George in particular, I came across a reference to a Macleans article called “Father. Diplomat. Murderer?” August 2020 issue of Maclean’s magazine. The article talk about a book written by George's son, Jeff, and his belief that his father, George, killed his mother, Carol. I have just finished reading the book, Murder in the Family: How the Search for my Mother's Killer Led to My Father.

The Blackstock family were prominent in business and politics. Lieutenant-Colonel George Gooderham Blackstock was an Officer Order of the British Empire recipient and senior executive of numerous companies including Steep Rock Mines. George had been appointed as deputy Premier of Ontario from June 1945 until his death in November 1945.

According to the book, Jeff pieced the story together from documents and interviews with family members and friends. He tells the story of how his father was 17 and dated his 15 year old mother, and married her when she became pregnant. Carol Gray became a dynamic wife in the social circles and had 3 children. Jeff tells the story that his family lived in Buenos Aires, Argentina and paints a picture of a young, vibrant wife through her letters to her parents, and stories from her house staff. At the age of 24, Carol became very ill and the local medical staff were unable to determine the cause. She was taken to Montreal, Quebec where she died at the Montreal Neurological Institute and Hospital. It was determined after autopsy that she had large amounts of arsenic in her system. She left 3 children, 12, 10 and 3, to mourn her loss.

When the 3 children were older, they began to question their mother's death. According to the book, they were not told until 6 months after the fact that their mother was dead. Their father denied knowing the cause of her death, stating that he was never informed. The children had gained a new 'mum', a woman of high social standing from Germany within a year of their mother's death. Things looked suspicious, but because of diplomatic immunity and the era (1959) there were certain social mores and complications.

Jeff details that he and his sister, Julia, investigated their mother's death for many years but were met with little information and much denial from their father. In the end, they concluded that their father likely murdered their mother with the arsenic and due to his diplomatic status hoped that it would never come to light as it would kill his career.

This investigation and suspicion colored the relationship that the children had with their father and his new wife.

I was fascinated by this book for a number of reasons. First, I had learned about the prominence of the family and their extensive involvement in the various areas of Ontario and Canadian society. Second, it was a well written book; chronologically telling the story with some level of objectivity. I imagine that this book was drafted numerous times, but it is still amazing to me that the son was able to tell this story so well without it spirally into an incoherent rant.

[Mapleleaf · Rating 4 out of 5]

George starts his career as a diplomat in Buenos Aires with his young wife Carol, two sons and a daughter. Soon their social status before they were married as teenagers became a hindrance to the advancement of his career - him from a Toronto family who prospered from the mining industry and liquor trade; her from middle class parents who lovingly cared and provided the best they could for their only daughter. He was 17 when he married Carol who became pregnant at 15. In Buenos Aires, Carol blossomed and friends as well as colleagues of George were enamoured. Soon she became ill and was taken to the hospital twice - each time recovering at the hospital. For a woman at 5’4”, her weight dropped dangerously low to 87lbs before the hospital doctor suggested she be flown to Canada for better help. Within two days of arriving, she died. Her parents were not aware that she had returned as George claimed she had insisted not to worry them. After her burial, George spent two months traveling and visiting his friends in several countries before returning to Buenos Aires to break the news to his children. Within months, he was spending time with a woman of high social standing and wealth in Germany. Within a year, he was married to her. They stay together through three kids of their own and several other overseas postings including Ontario, Canada. Carol’s arsenic poisoning by George was not discovered by her kids until twenty years later. After giving their father ample opportunities to confess or offer other plausible scenarios, the two older kids cut off ties with their father. George died without being charged and without confessing.
If I didn’t know otherwise, I would have thought this was an Agatha Christie novel. That several levels of government, agencies and individuals covered up for a charming, narcissistic diplomat is unbelievable. What about the housewife who gave up her dreams to support her husband’s aspirations? What about the kids who lived with the murderer and his evil stepmother?

[Joanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s hard to comprehend how the events in this story happened in real life. Pregnant, Carol Gray married George Blackstock when they were 15 and 17 respectively. She came from a middle class family and he was born into wealth and privilege. By the time she died at 24, she was the mother of three children. George was embarking upon a career in the Foreign Service and the family moved to Argentina. After settling in happily, Carol developed a terrible illness and died an excruciating death without any doctor in Argentina or Canada knowing what was wrong. Her children were never told what killed her.
Within a year, George had remarried, to a German emigree who subjected the kids to horrendous discipline until they each got away.
Fast forward 10 years, and the children find out that their mother was killed by arsenic poisoning, and that their father was the chief suspect. Because of his privileged position, both in society and as a member of the foreign service, no one ever seriously pursued the case with an eye to prosecution, and George Blackstock died without ever answering any questions about Carol’s death.

I was riveted by this book, not so much by the plot as by the writing style of the author. He made the story come alive, the chronology was easy to follow, and his view of the persons involved was clear-eyed and cool-headed. It must have been terrible for his siblings and him to grow up without Carol, and subject to the whims of his father and stepmother. The investigation they conducted was fascinating, all of it spurred by the papers they found when Carol’s devoted father died. It became an obsession and only concluded when their father died. I was completely fascinated by this book.

[Evelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life was exciting for the 3 young children accompanying their parents on their dad's first foreign services assignment. But soon, their vibrant and caring mother dies of a strange and painful illness. What terrible malady would cause the untimely death of their young mother? The "what happened" was never explained to them by their father; but when you are so young-getting the details isn't your focus. Grieving is all consuming. The author-the oldest of the 3 kids- shares many touching remembrances of his mom. Only as adults would he and his siblings surmise that an ambitious father coming from Canadian high society, forced into a shotgun wedding with a lower social class high school drop out wife, might feel she was an impediment to his future diplomatic ambitions. Within a year of their mom's death, a new stepmom enters the picture. One that is from the "right" social strata. But no one would describe the new Mum as nurturing. The emotional toll on all three children is evident in the stories of mistreatment. When documents surface upon the death of their maternal grandfather, they find out that mom was poisoned. The search for justice for their mom leads them to determine that Dad was the killer. An incomplete criminal investigation and a complicit diplomatic agency facilitated a cover up of Mom's murder. Jeff Blackstock lays out the details a logical order that will keep you reading. It's a sad family tragedy. This well written tale had me hooked from the beginning.

[Virginia Van · Rating 4 out of 5]

While living in Argentina with her Canadian diplomat husband and their three children in 1959, Carol Blackstock died of arsenic poisoning, a fact was covered up for decades. George remarried within a year, to an attractive young young woman to turned out to be the classic evil stepmother, physically and emotionally abusive to the three children.

Although suspicious of their son-in-law, Carol's parents were unable to get anyone to listen tot heir concerns. George was, after all, from a Toronto establishment family and working for the government. However, after his grandfather's death, Jeff Blackstock and his sister find an autopsy report showing arsenic as the cause of death, , something their father denied he had ever been told.

A moving story of three children's search for the truth about their mother's death and their determination to bring her story out into the open.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an unexpectedly well-written memoir about a woman, the author's mother, who died early in her life-- age 25-- leaving behind her three young children and husband, and the author's eventual realization that his mother was murdered by their father.

Part of my interest in this book involves the fact that the family were Canadian, and privileged class... and yet, this woman's death was never treated as a murder by any responsible parties: RCMP, the medical bodies, the man's Government employees, his servants, his cronies, his family-of-origin. He died without having been charged or held accountable.

The fine detailing of the psychological impacts this removal of a mother had upon the children and her grieving parents is engaging in itself, but the added study of a 'classic' psychopath-- a person without a conscience-- is what keeps the pages turning.

[nancyamerica · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jeff’s mother dies when he’s only 8 years old from unknown causes. Jeff tells us the story of how him and his sister figure out that their father murdered their mother.

This was messy and wild. The author warns the reader that this isn’t a murder mystery that gets tied up with a bow at the end. There is no real conclusion or justice but that does not take away from the story. Jeff’s writing is concise, but never felt boring. Everything is relevant in painting a picture of who his family was. Very heartbreaking and frustrating story that no one else would be able to tell except for those who lived it. It is very clear how much they love their mother.

If you’re looking for a Canadian true crime read, I would definitely recommend.

[Nadine Byrne · Rating 4 out of 5]

True story of betrayal and murder that was known and covered up by various public, governmental and policing organizations. The author and his siblings worked tirelessly to investigate the murder of their mother that took place some 25 years earlier, only to find unending evidence of their fathers involvement. Sadly, there was no justice to be had. There seemed to be no easy way or will for conviction and their father passed away leaving them with unanswered questions that could close this sad time in their lives. Fascinating story. Very well written.

[Deneen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read. A tragic story. It’s fairly evident that money, white privilege and an employer who doesn’t want scandal was the perfect combination for George Blackstock. Kudos for his children for digging deeper and shame on the Canadian Govt and the Montreal police for covering the whole thing up.

[Shuuu · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is such a sad story. It’s a very good read but I can’t help but feel for the family. I hope that after all those years this allowed them to have some kind of closure.

The content of the book is interesting but at points it’s a choppy read because of how it’s written. That being said I could never imagine having to write something this heavy and close to me.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was interesting and intriguing. Cover ups, denial and heartbreak for the adult children to deal with it.
I highly recommend this book.
I voluntarily reviewed an advance reader copy of this book.

[Teresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Horrific true tale. I felt SO bad all the way through for the victim's children, and her parents (for whom she was their only child). Having to live your life knowing that the perp. was running around unpunished among you...just unthinkable!

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A classic murder mystery story - full of suspense, intrigue spanning countries worldwide and yet so extra chilling, and moving because it's a true story. I won't outline the details here as that has been done in the synopsis, but two things that really stood out for me, apart from the excellent writing and the structure of the book, were the number of primary source documents the author included, and thinking about the enormous impact this has had on the family their entire lives. As I was reading the uncovered letters and medical documents, I couldn't help thinking what it must have felt like to see the chain of events unfolding over a life time of research and interviews. Delve into it yourself, and I bet you can't put it down. I couldn't.

[Jill Robbertze · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was totally captivated by this family and the author's very intriguing story. The book is so well written and in such a way that kept me turning the pages. It is so hard to understand what lengths some people will go to for their own selfish gains. It was easy to award this one a solid 5 Stars.

[Jennifer · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author's mother appears to have been killed by his father (this is not a spoiler, as the title lays it out), which is very sad. However, there is no coherent story here. This is a rambling memoir of various non-compelling memories written by an average person, that is to say, not a writer.

[NiteReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

[Carol Stevenson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well written account of the death of a 24year old mother of three, and diplomats wife. Written by her oldest son over 50 years since her death. A very engaging read.