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Be True to Yourself
Make your life count. Quit faking. Express the real you. Live free from regrets. Find friends who are like family. Stop fearing the opinion of others. Be happy. Laugh often.
What's the secret to a life like that? Our culture says that it's this: be true to yourself.
And that's right. Sort of.
This book shows you how to be true to the real you. It invites you to listen to the voice of your Creator to discover who you are and how to be happy. And it reveals Jesus' counter intuitive but altogether more satisfying vision of a life well lived.
What's the secret to a life like that? Our culture says that it's this: be true to yourself.
And that's right. Sort of.
This book shows you how to be true to the real you. It invites you to listen to the voice of your Creator to discover who you are and how to be happy. And it reveals Jesus' counter intuitive but altogether more satisfying vision of a life well lived.
185 pages, Paperback
Published February 1, 2019
8 people are currently reading
113 people want to read
About the author
Matt Fuller
3 books9 followersMatt Fuller is the Senior Minister at Christ Church, Mayfair, in central London.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
January 5, 2020
My endorsement:
From “Follow your heart” to “Believe in yourself” to “You do you,” our world is awash in the mentality of expressive individualism. And it’s not just the culture “out there”: these intuitions have also leaked into the church. I’m grateful, then, for Matt Fuller’s timely new book. It is a strong antidote to the mindset—once a cultural vice, now a heroic virtue—that fires our imaginations and ruins our lives. On page after page, Matt unveils a counterintuitive secret: following your heart will enslave you, but following Jesus will free you. Do you want to be true to yourself? Great. Be true to him.
From “Follow your heart” to “Believe in yourself” to “You do you,” our world is awash in the mentality of expressive individualism. And it’s not just the culture “out there”: these intuitions have also leaked into the church. I’m grateful, then, for Matt Fuller’s timely new book. It is a strong antidote to the mindset—once a cultural vice, now a heroic virtue—that fires our imaginations and ruins our lives. On page after page, Matt unveils a counterintuitive secret: following your heart will enslave you, but following Jesus will free you. Do you want to be true to yourself? Great. Be true to him.
October 16, 2022
This book is so easy to read, sensitive but clear, and full of Biblical truth. I found it so helpful in my journey of unpacking the influence of modern thinking and culture on my life. Highly recommend.
April 6, 2020
Matt Fuller is a senior pastor of Christ Church Mayfair and sits on the board of the Co-Mission network of churches. With Be True to Yourself, he utilises this power to imply to his Christian audience that marginalised identities are sinners who need to be encouraged out of their behaviour by a welcoming Church community. Perhaps Fuller has realised that the days of Christians being openly prejudiced are long gone, as it's no longer a good look in a modern day, more secular society. However, the Church's attitude remains very much the same; LGBT people are inherently unacceptable. Their feelings are temptations that must be resisted in order to be accepted. Fuller boasts about members of his congregation who have moved from the gay community to his church community. My question to him would be, why can't one be a member of both communities? As a member of the LGBT community, I found this to be a tough read. It angered me how examples are cherry picked: abortions are not unacceptable because one woman chose not to abort her terminal child and fortunately the child ended up healthy. Trans people do not commit suicide because they are rejecting how they were made in the Lord's image -- they do it because they live in a society that subjects them to extreme and often violent discrimination at every turn.
Fuller's preoccupation with the lives and actions of LGBT people underpins some of his interesting points about the flaws of individualism in contemporary Western society. Be True To Yourself argues that this individualism is ultimately unfulfilling, instead offering that we should lead our lives in the image of Jesus Christ. Fuller's argument is particularly cognisant given how much more the West is struggling with the COVID-19 outbreak, due to populations simply being unwilling to follow social distancing rules set out by governments with the same obedience as Eastern nations with social conducts influenced by Confuscianism.
The idea of being selfless in the image of Jesus is interesting to me, but it feels antithetical to be selfless in order to secure yourself a place in Heaven in the afterlife. After all, aren't you just being selfless for your own selfish gain if that's the case? The book hardly explores deep theological arguments, and definitely reads as more... pop-theology, which is fine, I suppose. It makes it an easy read. I don't usually read religious books, but I read this at the suggestion of my mother's religious friend, who thought it might be helpful for my mental health. It wasn't.
Fuller's preoccupation with the lives and actions of LGBT people underpins some of his interesting points about the flaws of individualism in contemporary Western society. Be True To Yourself argues that this individualism is ultimately unfulfilling, instead offering that we should lead our lives in the image of Jesus Christ. Fuller's argument is particularly cognisant given how much more the West is struggling with the COVID-19 outbreak, due to populations simply being unwilling to follow social distancing rules set out by governments with the same obedience as Eastern nations with social conducts influenced by Confuscianism.
The idea of being selfless in the image of Jesus is interesting to me, but it feels antithetical to be selfless in order to secure yourself a place in Heaven in the afterlife. After all, aren't you just being selfless for your own selfish gain if that's the case? The book hardly explores deep theological arguments, and definitely reads as more... pop-theology, which is fine, I suppose. It makes it an easy read. I don't usually read religious books, but I read this at the suggestion of my mother's religious friend, who thought it might be helpful for my mental health. It wasn't.
February 20, 2020
Excellent easy-to-read work that addresses a key struggle of our age, self-focus. The author accurately and winsomely identifies the issues and gives the ‘better story’ of the Biblical view of identity, and how we are only truly free in Christ. Highly recommended!
July 24, 2024
Excellent read. So clear and helpful. Every Christian needs to read it.
February 4, 2020
When I first saw this book, I was initially put off as I really cannot stand the vacuous saying 'be true to yourself' and I thought this was just a Christian attempt to defend it. Fortunately, it is nothing of the sort and Matt Fuller doesn't so much as defend it but reframe it in a Christian context, unmoored from the self-centered expressive individualism it's usually expressed from. I really enjoyed this book and cannot recommend it enough.
April 2, 2020
Initial thoughts:
Since I just wrote a scathing review of a picture book about being true to yourself, it seems important to note that this adult nonfiction book explores the different meanings and applications of this phrase through a Christian lens, explaining how being true to who you are in Christ is the real goal and source of joy. This book encourages its readers to reject the secular dogma of individualistic self-expression, and explores the implications for a Christ-centered identity in a variety of life spheres. My favorite chapter was the one on platonic friendship and relationships with the church, since they are often neglected topics, and this part made it a five-star book for me.
Full review:
In this book, British pastor Matt Fuller explores what it means to "be true to yourself." He explains that even though people sometimes use this phrase to applaud integrity, those who resist peer pressure and temptation are living in alignment with an objective moral standard, not just their own values. If we want to praise people merely for being themselves, we would have to cheer on cheaters and murderers who are living out their deepest desires and values. Fuller argues that this popular, often contradictory phrase really begs the question, "Who am I?" How do you pick the version of yourself to be true to?
In response to this question, Fuller explains that we are fallen image-bearers of a glorious God, not gods within ourselves. We cannot trust our own urges to lead us to truth or happiness, but when we experience redemption and find our identity in Christ, we are free from "the gospel of self-esteem" and "the gospel of self-creation" and can rest in who God says that we are. After Fuller lays this foundation, he explores the implications that our identity in Christ has on our gender identities, sexual behavior, life in church community, and engagement online. He writes about these issues with great pastoral sensitivity, and presents biblical truth in a way that is clear and does not invite offense.
This book is full of timeless truths and current applications for our cultural moment. As a single person, I especially appreciated the chapter on friendships within the church, and I am thankful for Fuller's efforts to keep the book relevant to all Christians, regardless of their sexual backgrounds or marital status. This book is accessible and practical for both believers and skeptics, and provides a clear, inspiring picture of how identity in Christ changes everything.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Since I just wrote a scathing review of a picture book about being true to yourself, it seems important to note that this adult nonfiction book explores the different meanings and applications of this phrase through a Christian lens, explaining how being true to who you are in Christ is the real goal and source of joy. This book encourages its readers to reject the secular dogma of individualistic self-expression, and explores the implications for a Christ-centered identity in a variety of life spheres. My favorite chapter was the one on platonic friendship and relationships with the church, since they are often neglected topics, and this part made it a five-star book for me.
Full review:
In this book, British pastor Matt Fuller explores what it means to "be true to yourself." He explains that even though people sometimes use this phrase to applaud integrity, those who resist peer pressure and temptation are living in alignment with an objective moral standard, not just their own values. If we want to praise people merely for being themselves, we would have to cheer on cheaters and murderers who are living out their deepest desires and values. Fuller argues that this popular, often contradictory phrase really begs the question, "Who am I?" How do you pick the version of yourself to be true to?
In response to this question, Fuller explains that we are fallen image-bearers of a glorious God, not gods within ourselves. We cannot trust our own urges to lead us to truth or happiness, but when we experience redemption and find our identity in Christ, we are free from "the gospel of self-esteem" and "the gospel of self-creation" and can rest in who God says that we are. After Fuller lays this foundation, he explores the implications that our identity in Christ has on our gender identities, sexual behavior, life in church community, and engagement online. He writes about these issues with great pastoral sensitivity, and presents biblical truth in a way that is clear and does not invite offense.
This book is full of timeless truths and current applications for our cultural moment. As a single person, I especially appreciated the chapter on friendships within the church, and I am thankful for Fuller's efforts to keep the book relevant to all Christians, regardless of their sexual backgrounds or marital status. This book is accessible and practical for both believers and skeptics, and provides a clear, inspiring picture of how identity in Christ changes everything.
I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
August 31, 2021
Despite its title and even its description, this book instructs its readers NOT to be true to themselves in various ways. While it's helpful to evaluate what the world tells us and find fault with that, Fuller doesn't really give us an alternative. The beginning of the book promises to show us what it does mean to follow oneself from a biblical perspective, that promise remains undelivered by the end.
Furthermore, a number of points made along the way are questionable:
1) Fuller often makes considerable leaps in logic to get to the conclusion he wants. Sometimes I found myself wondering how he got from point A to point Z with such conviction. Other times, when I tried to form that path myself, I found other logical routes that led to very different conclusions, or sometimes no direct conclusion could be derived.
2) In multiple instances, Fuller's starting position had little merit. He would base his argument upon faulty assumptions. When the foundations of his arguments were, well - unfounded - the argument that follows has no real value. Now, not all of them were unfounded, but many were at the very least questionable or subjective.
It felt as though Fuller simply wanted to make a number of points about social norms and was searching for excuses to fit them into this book.
The only value I found in this book was that it served as the topic of discussion for my small group.
Furthermore, a number of points made along the way are questionable:
1) Fuller often makes considerable leaps in logic to get to the conclusion he wants. Sometimes I found myself wondering how he got from point A to point Z with such conviction. Other times, when I tried to form that path myself, I found other logical routes that led to very different conclusions, or sometimes no direct conclusion could be derived.
2) In multiple instances, Fuller's starting position had little merit. He would base his argument upon faulty assumptions. When the foundations of his arguments were, well - unfounded - the argument that follows has no real value. Now, not all of them were unfounded, but many were at the very least questionable or subjective.
It felt as though Fuller simply wanted to make a number of points about social norms and was searching for excuses to fit them into this book.
The only value I found in this book was that it served as the topic of discussion for my small group.
February 18, 2020
I've read so many books on the topic of identity over the years, but this one is different, it uses the Bible to show us what the true identity of humanity is whilst at the same time pointing out the flaws in some of the ways that people try to justify their own sense of identity. Starting in the beginning in Genesis, this book speaks of the glory of God that humanity was created to be part of, but then we see in Genesis 3 that the world, and humanity, was tarnished. We chose to reject God and His glory in an attempt to be like Him.
"The great irony is that if we exchange the glorious humility that the Lord has given us for an insignificant self-importance, we become far less. Our attempts at enlarging ourselves leave us diminished. The pursuit of self-glorification turns out to be degrading... To reject the crown of glory the God has given us is to make ourselves less and miss out. We will live diminished lives as we try to create a purpose for ourselves which is far inferior to the one God has given us"
The main point of this book is... Full review at https://achalmersblog.com
"The great irony is that if we exchange the glorious humility that the Lord has given us for an insignificant self-importance, we become far less. Our attempts at enlarging ourselves leave us diminished. The pursuit of self-glorification turns out to be degrading... To reject the crown of glory the God has given us is to make ourselves less and miss out. We will live diminished lives as we try to create a purpose for ourselves which is far inferior to the one God has given us"
The main point of this book is... Full review at https://achalmersblog.com
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 30, 2020
The book we need to read today! It addresses our cultural lens in an easy to read, gripping way. I found myself having to take a good look at my assumptions because this is air we breathe today. As a Christian, it's helped me understand why I find it so hard to give up myself and live for Christ. Not that it's any different than the past, but it's helpful to understand that we live in a generation that is told to BE HAPPY by fulfilling yourself - and I'm a product of my generation. This book helped me pause and look at my beliefs.
The gold in this book is the section on relationships in church - because "be true to yourself" is a message we "quietly believe in our churches" too. It made me question how we can be the church better - it's the book I didn't know I needed to read.
Overall, it's an easy, insightful read into the human existence and experience. It's not expensive and will not be a waste of your time.
The gold in this book is the section on relationships in church - because "be true to yourself" is a message we "quietly believe in our churches" too. It made me question how we can be the church better - it's the book I didn't know I needed to read.
Overall, it's an easy, insightful read into the human existence and experience. It's not expensive and will not be a waste of your time.
January 20, 2023
Standout quotes:
" We don't follow a principle but a person - the man who is God."
"Couples are foolish if they allow good friendships to wither. It's very easy to be lonely inside a marriage."
" I think that some of us here are less willing to forgive our friends than we would a spouse... Maybe this attitude comes from a very high view of friendship. Yet it's an unrealistic one. So be ready to forgive your friends."
" We don't follow a principle but a person - the man who is God."
"Couples are foolish if they allow good friendships to wither. It's very easy to be lonely inside a marriage."
" I think that some of us here are less willing to forgive our friends than we would a spouse... Maybe this attitude comes from a very high view of friendship. Yet it's an unrealistic one. So be ready to forgive your friends."
January 20, 2024
Read this book in preparation for a series of talks on identity which we are giving to the youth at church. Found it biblically grounded, readable and timely, especially the chapters on relationships and community. Very accessible and quickly readable, for a deeper exploration of identity as a battleground I'm planning to read Carl Trueman at some point.
February 11, 2020
An easy read. A fantastic analysis of the failure of the ‘me’ culture. A beautiful solution. This book demonstrates how wonderful it can and could and should be following the design and pattern of our Creator, living in his love and grace. Be true to the self you are meant to be. A joy.
March 18, 2024
Wow what blessing it is to have this guy as my pastor?? Great book that really digs into what it means to be your authentic self in the world today, fairly easy read, backed up with good biblical info.
December 15, 2019
A pretty good look at a biblical response to the “you do you” attitude of today. Particularly good were the sections on gender and sexuality.
May 17, 2020
This is a rather good and thought-provoking book. I think it's much better than it sounds and would recommend to anyone interested.
August 8, 2022
Extremely relevant for Christians trying to keep a grip on their identity in God in a world that is so constantly confusing. I found this super helpful and practical, so it's five stars from me!
February 12, 2023
Excellent book
August 11, 2025
4.5 stars. This was a fantastic book! I really enjoyed it. So many great things here written in an easy, engaging and memorable way. I will revisit this one for sure.
September 12, 2021
Kind of nice but also kind of unneccessary for me personally. Read this on a long car ride home and it was easy to understand and read. Might be good for new believers just getting in touch with and trying to understand their identity in Christ. Nothing new for me though.
December 11, 2023
Needed to read this.
Will need to reread this
Will need to merely say that Fuller misrepresents/oversimplifies a lot of figures (Robert Greene, Ayn Rand, Charles Darwin) which is of course inherent in a book also dealing with pop culture/ psychology/ theology in <200 pages but it was a tad grating
UPDATE: Feb 2022
Reread. Still good
Will need to reread this
Will need to merely say that Fuller misrepresents/oversimplifies a lot of figures (Robert Greene, Ayn Rand, Charles Darwin) which is of course inherent in a book also dealing with pop culture/ psychology/ theology in <200 pages but it was a tad grating
UPDATE: Feb 2022
Reread. Still good
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews