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Stress-Free Small Talk: How to Master the Art of Conversation and Take Control of Your Social Anxiety
Small talk, big victory—your guide to managing social anxiety and making conversation
Leave your anxious feelings at the door in any social situation—and see a world of possibilities open up for you. Stress-Free Small Talk is filled with strategies, advice, conversation-starters, practical activities, and mindfulness-based exercises for people who want to manage their social anxiety and engage in small talk with anyone.
Take control of any casual interaction with tips for introducing yourself, universal topics of discussion, active listening, asking questions, talking with someone who disagrees with you, how to politely exit a conversation, and much more.
Stress-Free Small Talk
Embrace your fears—Learn to understand your nervous feelings, set appropriate expectations, and prepare for social encounters—so you can make small talk comfortably.Real-life scenarios—Get advice for day-to-day social situations, like attending a party full of strangers, going on a blind date, or getting seated next to a chatty passenger on an airplane.Great first impressions—Discover tips and tools for making strong first impressions, including maintaining good posture, making regular and natural eye contact, and beyond.Look who’s talking now! If you’ve been searching for a helpful how-to guide to reducing anxiety and making small talk so that you can navigate social situations with ease, this book has you covered.
Leave your anxious feelings at the door in any social situation—and see a world of possibilities open up for you. Stress-Free Small Talk is filled with strategies, advice, conversation-starters, practical activities, and mindfulness-based exercises for people who want to manage their social anxiety and engage in small talk with anyone.
Take control of any casual interaction with tips for introducing yourself, universal topics of discussion, active listening, asking questions, talking with someone who disagrees with you, how to politely exit a conversation, and much more.
Stress-Free Small Talk
Embrace your fears—Learn to understand your nervous feelings, set appropriate expectations, and prepare for social encounters—so you can make small talk comfortably.Real-life scenarios—Get advice for day-to-day social situations, like attending a party full of strangers, going on a blind date, or getting seated next to a chatty passenger on an airplane.Great first impressions—Discover tips and tools for making strong first impressions, including maintaining good posture, making regular and natural eye contact, and beyond.Look who’s talking now! If you’ve been searching for a helpful how-to guide to reducing anxiety and making small talk so that you can navigate social situations with ease, this book has you covered.
175 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 10, 2019
116 people are currently reading
200 people want to read
About the author
Richard S. Gallagher
32 books6 followersArabic: ريتشارد إس. جالاجر
Richard S. Gallagher LMFT
My specialty is teaching people how to communicate in difficult situations. As a former customer service executive - and now as a speaker, trainer, and practicing therapist - my books and training programs explore the mechanics of how we communicate, based on recent principles of behavioral psychology.
I am perhaps best known for my two #1 customer service bestsellers The Customer Service Survival Kit (AMACOM, 2013) and What to Say to a Porcupine (AMACOM, 2008), as well as How to Tell Anyone Anything (AMACOM, 2009), which explores how to handle difficult workplace conversations.
If you are looking for "smile training" or basic advice on communications skills, there are lots of books out there. But if you want to learn what to say to someone after you've just towed their car away - or how to talk to a co-worker who needs to shower more often - or what will defuse a toxic boss - you've come to the right place! Enjoy my books, or Google me to learn more. Welcome!
Richard S. Gallagher LMFT
My specialty is teaching people how to communicate in difficult situations. As a former customer service executive - and now as a speaker, trainer, and practicing therapist - my books and training programs explore the mechanics of how we communicate, based on recent principles of behavioral psychology.
I am perhaps best known for my two #1 customer service bestsellers The Customer Service Survival Kit (AMACOM, 2013) and What to Say to a Porcupine (AMACOM, 2008), as well as How to Tell Anyone Anything (AMACOM, 2009), which explores how to handle difficult workplace conversations.
If you are looking for "smile training" or basic advice on communications skills, there are lots of books out there. But if you want to learn what to say to someone after you've just towed their car away - or how to talk to a co-worker who needs to shower more often - or what will defuse a toxic boss - you've come to the right place! Enjoy my books, or Google me to learn more. Welcome!
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
January 17, 2020
Hello 2020 and goodbye to crippling social anxiety!!
Are you like me?
Do you do a dance in the elevator when no one else gets on? Do you pretend that you're on the phone at the mall so the kiosk people don't ask you to smell their perfume? Do you stay in the toilet stall for way longer than necessary so you're the only one at the sinks? Are you 30 years old like me and still think "stranger danger, I need an adult" in the ordinary course of everyday social interactions?
Well, fellow haters of small-talk, I present to you a book that will make all your troubles go away.
Just kidding, it won't. But it's definitely a good start.
This was a cathartic read for me. It was short and sweet and easy to digest. As a reader who absolutely detests self-help books (the angry stubborn Sicilian side of me refuses to be told what to do by anybody, books included, ) the tone of the book was encouraging enough to not be bothersome. It was refreshing for the author, who is a professional in the field, not to oversaturate the book with scholarly verbiage and flowery prose. It was simply advice offered in plain language, and structured in a concise way to equip the reader with tips and tricks to help with a multitude of social scenarios.
And it's not to say that this book is a panacea for social anxiety - far from it, and the book even admonishes the notion that any book can do such a thing. But it offers an insight into the aspect of cognitive behavioral therapy that focuses on preparing for small-talk by thinking of conversation topics beforehand, essentially equipping yourself with verbal ammunition, rather than forcing off the cuff small-talk over and over to simply acclimate to the uncomfortable feeling. It's the knowledge through preparation that makes you better, not simply exposing yourself to more conversation. Quality over quantity, knowledge is power.
I will say that for the first 30% of this book or so, it sounds like something an alien might write to its home planet after a surveillance of the human species. "Some places that small talk is acceptable includes, a family barbecue, a business lunch, get together with friends...."Small talk with friends is not as formal as small-talk in a business setting" - things like that. Like if you haven't been living on planet Earth it might be acceptable for you NOT to know this offhand. The advice is a little juvenile and obvious until the later chapters and I would not be surprised if this was targeted towards a younger demographic.
That aside, I found it to be a thoroughly enjoyable read. I might not have all my anxieties cured, but at least I know there are enough of us small-talk haters out there for someone to write a book about it. And maybe next time I'll hold the elevator open for others instead of finger mashing the doors closed button like my life depended on it.
….Maybe.
Thank you to Netgalley for a digital copy in exchange for an honest review.
Are you like me?
Do you do a dance in the elevator when no one else gets on? Do you pretend that you're on the phone at the mall so the kiosk people don't ask you to smell their perfume? Do you stay in the toilet stall for way longer than necessary so you're the only one at the sinks? Are you 30 years old like me and still think "stranger danger, I need an adult" in the ordinary course of everyday social interactions?
Well, fellow haters of small-talk, I present to you a book that will make all your troubles go away.
Just kidding, it won't. But it's definitely a good start.
This was a cathartic read for me. It was short and sweet and easy to digest. As a reader who absolutely detests self-help books (the angry stubborn Sicilian side of me refuses to be told what to do by anybody, books included, ) the tone of the book was encouraging enough to not be bothersome. It was refreshing for the author, who is a professional in the field, not to oversaturate the book with scholarly verbiage and flowery prose. It was simply advice offered in plain language, and structured in a concise way to equip the reader with tips and tricks to help with a multitude of social scenarios.
And it's not to say that this book is a panacea for social anxiety - far from it, and the book even admonishes the notion that any book can do such a thing. But it offers an insight into the aspect of cognitive behavioral therapy that focuses on preparing for small-talk by thinking of conversation topics beforehand, essentially equipping yourself with verbal ammunition, rather than forcing off the cuff small-talk over and over to simply acclimate to the uncomfortable feeling. It's the knowledge through preparation that makes you better, not simply exposing yourself to more conversation. Quality over quantity, knowledge is power.
I will say that for the first 30% of this book or so, it sounds like something an alien might write to its home planet after a surveillance of the human species. "Some places that small talk is acceptable includes, a family barbecue, a business lunch, get together with friends...."Small talk with friends is not as formal as small-talk in a business setting" - things like that. Like if you haven't been living on planet Earth it might be acceptable for you NOT to know this offhand. The advice is a little juvenile and obvious until the later chapters and I would not be surprised if this was targeted towards a younger demographic.
That aside, I found it to be a thoroughly enjoyable read. I might not have all my anxieties cured, but at least I know there are enough of us small-talk haters out there for someone to write a book about it. And maybe next time I'll hold the elevator open for others instead of finger mashing the doors closed button like my life depended on it.
….Maybe.
Thank you to Netgalley for a digital copy in exchange for an honest review.
January 9, 2020
This book is geared toward the socially anxious and anyone who finds casual conversation more burdensome than enjoyable. I have read books like these before and was surprised at how many practical tips it actually included. Usually, there are more encouraging platitudes ("No one is actually thinking about you as much as you think!" "Make good eye contact and smile!") than anything actually applicable.
Gallagher tackles specific situations, and breaks conversations down into stages, and even covers how to recover from blunders. His formulaic approach takes something that feels like incomprehensible magic a lot of the time and attempts to distill it down into a step-by-step science. He gives specific examples of kinds of things to say, and I appreciate that he acknowledges realities beyond the typical conversational advice. ("Everyone loves to talk about themselves, just ask questions!" No, actually, not everyone does!)
Unfortunately, it seems that there isn't a magic escape route for when you need to end a conversation smoothly. Equally unfortunately, no matter how many scripts and tips you absorb, the only real way to get comfortable mingling is through practice. This book does help to demystify, though, and provide a decent starting place for the completely overwhelmed.
Gallagher tackles specific situations, and breaks conversations down into stages, and even covers how to recover from blunders. His formulaic approach takes something that feels like incomprehensible magic a lot of the time and attempts to distill it down into a step-by-step science. He gives specific examples of kinds of things to say, and I appreciate that he acknowledges realities beyond the typical conversational advice. ("Everyone loves to talk about themselves, just ask questions!" No, actually, not everyone does!)
Unfortunately, it seems that there isn't a magic escape route for when you need to end a conversation smoothly. Equally unfortunately, no matter how many scripts and tips you absorb, the only real way to get comfortable mingling is through practice. This book does help to demystify, though, and provide a decent starting place for the completely overwhelmed.
December 10, 2023
Generally an ok read. The writing was not very compelling but Dr Gallagher does give practical points to assist with small talk.
January 8, 2020
3.5 stars
This book had potential but felt as though it was geared to people who had a fear of conversation more than someone wanting to develop the skill. It has some practical tips and exercises that I can take away, but it fell a little short.
Thank you Net Galley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest feedback.
This book had potential but felt as though it was geared to people who had a fear of conversation more than someone wanting to develop the skill. It has some practical tips and exercises that I can take away, but it fell a little short.
Thank you Net Galley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest feedback.
January 29, 2020
The overall message I take from this book is that if you can feel in charge of a conversation, you'll feel less anxious about talking with people. I think most anxiety surrounding small talk is the fear of not being in charge, and therefore becoming captive to the other person or people. Everyone fears getting stuck with the social boor!
From chapter to chapter, the author discusses how to take charge, along with providing examples, for, say, opening a conversation, keeping it going, closing it down and walking away (or turning away, if you're on a plane!). I appreciate these suggested sentences because although I have no trouble starting a conversation with people, I do fear running out of things to talk about and not knowing how to break away when I need a breather.
The book also contains simple, brief exercises that would come under the heading of mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy. These suggested exercises are geared toward managing anxiety and resetting your response to anxious situations. I especially appreciated the exercise that has you taking note of your senses as you rest in one place, in order to still the endless loop of worry that entangles most of us. I really need something to conquer this!
From chapter to chapter, the author discusses how to take charge, along with providing examples, for, say, opening a conversation, keeping it going, closing it down and walking away (or turning away, if you're on a plane!). I appreciate these suggested sentences because although I have no trouble starting a conversation with people, I do fear running out of things to talk about and not knowing how to break away when I need a breather.
The book also contains simple, brief exercises that would come under the heading of mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy. These suggested exercises are geared toward managing anxiety and resetting your response to anxious situations. I especially appreciated the exercise that has you taking note of your senses as you rest in one place, in order to still the endless loop of worry that entangles most of us. I really need something to conquer this!
July 26, 2020
Stress-Free Small Talk... solid tips and example conversations for introverted, shy, or anxious communicators. Although this information would be better presented live as a podcast or in-person event for practice, the advice and research included is helpful in understanding different types of conversation and approaches that can gain trust and likability from peers. Modern ways to broach and exit gatherings are thoughtfully included.
September 15, 2020
I think I probably expected too much from this book. Lots of interesting points that I probably already knew. Some quite useful takeaways and thinking points for how I approach these kinds of situations, but didn't feel particularly scientific and at times a little on the Freudian side of things. Some of the recommendations/suggestions were quite cringey, but I think it's fine to take your own approach with these things...
October 8, 2024
I don't particularly enjoy self help books. But i found this book to be helpful. It described introversion and extroversion in such a simple way, no extra nonsense explanations. It also was able to differentiate Social Anxiety and Shyness. It gave out tips on how to small talk in different settings, without me feeling like it was impossible to execute.
Read
July 20, 2022Read through it once just to see what he had to say. Solid reasoning and advice all the way through.
Planning on reading through it again and doing the exercises. Will rate and give a full review once I do that.
Planning on reading through it again and doing the exercises. Will rate and give a full review once I do that.
July 16, 2022
https://myhighlightz.blogspot.com/202...
Quick tips but not revolutionary
Quick tips but not revolutionary
January 4, 2020
Hello 2020 and goodbye to crippling social anxiety!!
Are you like me?
Do you do a dance in the elevator when no one else gets on? Do you pretend that you're on the phone at the mall so the kiosk people don't ask you to smell their perfume? Do you stay in the toilet stall for way longer than necessary so you're the only one at the sinks? Are you 30 years old like me and still think "stranger danger, I need an adult" in the ordinary course of everyday social interactions?
Well, fellow haters of small-talk, I present to you a book that will make all your troubles go away.
Just kidding, it won't. But it's definitely a good start.
This was a cathartic read for me. It was short and sweet and easy to digest. As a reader who absolutely detests self-help books (the angry stubborn Sicilian side of me refuses to be told what to do by anybody, books included, ) the tone of the book was encouraging enough to not be bothersome. It was refreshing for the author, who is a professional in the field, not to oversaturate the book with scholarly verbiage and flowery prose. It was simply advice offered in plain language, and structured in a concise way to equip the reader with tips and tricks to help with a multitude of social scenarios.
And it's not to say that this book is a panacea for social anxiety - far from it, and the book even admonishes the notion that any book can do such a thing. But it offers an insight into the aspect of cognitive behavioral therapy that focuses on preparing for small-talk by thinking of conversation topics beforehand, essentially equipping yourself with verbal ammunition, rather than forcing off the cuff small-talk over and over to simply acclimate to the uncomfortable feeling. It's the knowledge through preparation that makes you better, not simply exposing yourself to more conversation. Quality over quantity, knowledge is power.
I will say that for the first 30% of this book or so, it sounds like something an alien might write to its home planet after a surveillance of the human species. "Some places that small talk is acceptable includes, a family barbecue, a business lunch, get together with friends...."Small talk with friends is not as formal as small-talk in a business setting" - things like that. Like if you haven't been living on planet Earth it might be acceptable for you NOT to know this offhand. The advice is a little juvenile and obvious until the later chapters and I would not be surprised if this was targeted towards a younger demographic.
That aside, I found it to be a thoroughly enjoyable read. I might not have all my anxieties cured, but at least I know there are enough of us small-talk haters out there for someone to write a book about it. And maybe next time I'll hold the elevator open for others instead of finger mashing the doors closed button like my life depended on it.
….Maybe.
Thank you to Netgalley for a digital copy in exchange for an honest review.
Are you like me?
Do you do a dance in the elevator when no one else gets on? Do you pretend that you're on the phone at the mall so the kiosk people don't ask you to smell their perfume? Do you stay in the toilet stall for way longer than necessary so you're the only one at the sinks? Are you 30 years old like me and still think "stranger danger, I need an adult" in the ordinary course of everyday social interactions?
Well, fellow haters of small-talk, I present to you a book that will make all your troubles go away.
Just kidding, it won't. But it's definitely a good start.
This was a cathartic read for me. It was short and sweet and easy to digest. As a reader who absolutely detests self-help books (the angry stubborn Sicilian side of me refuses to be told what to do by anybody, books included, ) the tone of the book was encouraging enough to not be bothersome. It was refreshing for the author, who is a professional in the field, not to oversaturate the book with scholarly verbiage and flowery prose. It was simply advice offered in plain language, and structured in a concise way to equip the reader with tips and tricks to help with a multitude of social scenarios.
And it's not to say that this book is a panacea for social anxiety - far from it, and the book even admonishes the notion that any book can do such a thing. But it offers an insight into the aspect of cognitive behavioral therapy that focuses on preparing for small-talk by thinking of conversation topics beforehand, essentially equipping yourself with verbal ammunition, rather than forcing off the cuff small-talk over and over to simply acclimate to the uncomfortable feeling. It's the knowledge through preparation that makes you better, not simply exposing yourself to more conversation. Quality over quantity, knowledge is power.
I will say that for the first 30% of this book or so, it sounds like something an alien might write to its home planet after a surveillance of the human species. "Some places that small talk is acceptable includes, a family barbecue, a business lunch, get together with friends...."Small talk with friends is not as formal as small-talk in a business setting" - things like that. Like if you haven't been living on planet Earth it might be acceptable for you NOT to know this offhand. The advice is a little juvenile and obvious until the later chapters and I would not be surprised if this was targeted towards a younger demographic.
That aside, I found it to be a thoroughly enjoyable read. I might not have all my anxieties cured, but at least I know there are enough of us small-talk haters out there for someone to write a book about it. And maybe next time I'll hold the elevator open for others instead of finger mashing the doors closed button like my life depended on it.
….Maybe.
Thank you to Netgalley for a digital copy in exchange for an honest review.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews