Hell for the Holidays: A 24/7 Demon Mart Christmas Special

24/7 Demon Mart Stories #1

by D.M. Guay

The tree is trimmed. The mistletoe is hung. The eggnog is spiked. It’s time to celebrate the merriest, most heart-warming Christmas ever! Or not? No. Definitely, absolutely not.

This Christmas won’t be cheerful. It’ll be more like Ash vs Evil Dead meets National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Because the Wallace family’s annual Christmas Eve party is about to skid off the rails.

When a truckload of newly minted ghosts mix with the blizzard of the century, the neighborhood snowmen turn into blood-thirsty fiends. Their ghastly quest for revenge draws them to the brightest, loudest, most Christmasy place in the neighborhood: The home of Lloyd Wallace, hapless employee of the 24/7 Demon Mart, a local corner store where the beer cave doubles as the gate to hell.
When the possessed snowmen crash a party packed with unpleasant relatives, back-stabbing socialites, one inconsolable cockroach, three badass demon fighters, and too much alcohol, this picture-perfect holiday soon goes straight to hell.

This Christmas story is a companion to 24/7 Demon Mart, a humorous dark fantasy and horror-comedy book series for fans of Christopher Moore (The Stupidest Angel), Terry Pratchett, Mark Cain (Circles in Hell), and Heide Goody (Candy Canes and Buckets of Blood / Last Christmas, an Oddjobs short story).

Hell for the Holidays can be read at any point in the 24/7 Demon Mart series AFTER The Graveyard Shift: 24/7 Demon Mart #1.

Genres: Horror, Fantasy, Humor, Urban Fantasy, Christmas, Ghosts, Paranormal

107 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 20, 2019

About the author

DM Guay is a horror fan who mish-mashes her love of all that's scary/gory/geeky/funny into stories about creeps and critters, ghouls and ghosts, and all of the unseemly things that go bump in the night.

Denise lives in Ohio with her 12-foot skeletons. She gives out full-size candy bars on Halloween. She is a stage four kidney cancer surviver (It was bleak. Seriously.), so she donates some of her royalties to the Kidney Cancer Research Alliance. (KCCURE. ORG)

She also runs "Monsters In Your Inbox" a monthly round-up of B-horror movies, horror comedy books, and weird news.

Website: http://dmguay.com
Direct Store: https://payhip.com/authordmguay
Books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/~/e/B06XVFZ2X2
FB:https://www.facebook.com/DMGuay

Reviews

[William · Rating 4 out of 5]

Entertaining paranormal listening 🎶🔰

Another will written paranormal fantasy world 🌎 family and friends relationships adventure thriller novella by D. M. Guay (24/7 Demon Mart Stories book 1). This is a story about a family and what happens on Christmas Eve when the rest of the family shows up ☝ a day early. There are grandparents, aunts, and neighbors having quite a party. And then there are the snowmen with the prize for the best snowman. I would recommend this novella and author to 👍 readers looking for a different Christmas novel 👍🔰. Enjoy the adventure of reading 👓 or listening 🎶 to Alexa read books 📚. 2023 😮👒😀🎅

A cute family Christmas read. Happy reading

[Janet (iamltr) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Omg, this might be the best one yet.

Lloyd is off of work for the holidays and you would think that would mean some peace and quiet but oh no, not for this group of workers of the Demon Mart.

So it is Christmas and it is the only time of year that Lloyd's parents have their own parents over and those parents hate each other. But due to the fact that its going to snow like 25 inches, the family arrives a day early. The day of the annual party that has everyone else was coming to.

Spoilers from here on out because I want to share this.

So Dee Dee and Kevin the roach show up, as does Doc a fella that runs a cursed pawn shop who has the hots for Lloyd's grandmother. One of the monsters from the store is outside cause Dee Dee snuck him out of the store before it was locked down.

While all this is happening, the storm, the people in the house, the party, and all that, a van filled with escaped murderers is heading toward their area.

The horrible woman that is a "friend" of Lloyd's mother and has been in each book so far, causes the van of murderers to have an accident and they die. Their ghosts then want vengeance and possess the snowmen that Lloyd worked so hard on.

Then that ending. Like the rest of the books, the ending of this novela was awesome.

I am loving Lloyd's growth. He is still weak and has not read the manual, but he is learning to be more selfless.

[Badseedgirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the perfect short story because it made me want to read the rest of the series. My TBR list will never get any shorter, sigh!

[Gilbert Stack · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed The Graveyard Shift so much that I was a little bit leery of giving another of DM Guay’s books a try. That doesn’t make a lot of sense, I know, but humor is difficult to pull off in a novel and part of me thought she could never sustain the heights of hilarity I found in The Graveyard Shift. But it was Christmas and I wanted to read a Christmas-themed novel and so I thought, “What the heck” and am I ever glad that I did.

This novel is a wonderful walking calamity slowing unfolding for the reader’s pleasure. It starts with our hero, Lloyd, enjoying some paid vacation for the holidays so he can escape the insanity that is his job where he keeps demons from escaping into our world. Then the problems begin. Too much snow is forecast on the night of his mother’s annual Christmas Eve Party. The in laws, who hate each other, all arrive early for Christmas because they fear that the snow might keep them away the next day and they want to be snowed in with the family. (They aren’t for the most part a festive group, so this is definitely a bad thing.) Then we learn that 13 murderers have escaped prison nearby and we just know they are going to show up for the party. Then Lloyd’s work colleagues (including the talking cockroach and a fairly nice giant centipede demon) also show up as does the snooty rich woman from the first book and you can see it all going downhill from there—and that’s before the trouble starts.

It’s over the top hilarity as Lloyd and his friends try to stop Christmas from being destroyed without anyone else finding out what they’re doing. Hell may have come for the holidays, but our heroes are determined to make sure we all still have a joyous Christmas Day.

If you liked this review, you can find more at www.gilbertstack.com/reviews.

[Natalie H · Rating 4 out of 5]

I find Christmas stories either go for the mush or the nightmare. This one was a mix of both. Nightmare grandmother, Caroline and accidentally inviting the work team. Much more of Doc in this one and it was both entertaining and creepy. A little bit of everything. The drunk eight ball was the best, I really liked Lloyd and Kevin bonding. Looking forward to the next one.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice little Yule time diversion, even if you read it in the heat of summer like I did. Lloyd, Kevin, Bubby, and the gang are back for a short winter adventure involving ghosts, snowmen, and (most scary of all) relatives.

[Cass · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great read! I loved this short!

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

HILARIOUS

This novella is definitely a feel good Christmas story for horror fans! The humor of a Christmas party gone wild (the supernatural way of course) definitely made me laugh quite a bit. A Christmas party where everyone comes together and murder and mayhem occurs definitely puts me in the holiday spirit! With awkward situations and a comic writing style I couldn't stop laughing. I just wish it wasn't the beginning of a series of books because as the year comes to a close I have some other reading goals I would love to accomplish...

[Kimberly N · Rating 4 out of 5]

We’ve all been there with the family Christmas parties. But throw in some demons and the real fun begins! This was a great horror comedy read and happy I chose it to kick off my holiday reading this year.

[Hayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was delightful

[Alex | | findingmontauk1 · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are thinking there cannot be a feel good Christmas story to enchant all the horror fans out there, then you have not seen this one! Things can go to hell in a handbasket quickly but still turn out to be the best holidays.

[Annie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Originally posted on my blog Nonstop Reader.

Hell For the Holidays is a full on high-octane campy horror tinged y urban fantasy novella by D.M. Guay. Released 20th Dec 2019, it's 134 pages and is available in paperback and ebook formats. It's worth noting that the ebook format has a handy interactive table of contents as well as interactive links and references throughout. For Kindle Unlimited subscribers, this book is currently included in the KU subscription library to borrow and read for free. Book 2 is also currently available on KU, and the other installments (and there are a LOT of them) are available online (Smashwords, from the author, etc).

The author does a great job combining camp, light horror, hellish family holidays, REAL hell(ish) skullduggery, demons, very alcoholic eggnog, a pervy sentient cockroach, and an angel who manifests as a magic-8-ball. It's very silly, not at all serious, and the author doesn't miss a single double entendre, cheap pun, or holiday cliché start to finish. Although there are a whole crop of books in the series, they all work pretty well as standalone reads.

Four and a half stars. It's -precisely- as it purports to be, no hidden agendas, not even a wink at serious literature or highbrow philosophy. It would be a solid palette cleanser between more serious works, or for readers who just want to snort out loud at drunk cockroach dialogue.

[Escapereality4now · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everyone loves to gather with family for the holidays but sometimes disaster strikes. One of my favorite movies about family holiday disasters is “National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.” Just like the movie, “Hell for the Holidays” shows how everything can go wrong and it still ends up being the best Christmas ever.

Originally a cover buy, it ended up being a hilarious Christmas story that I loved reading.

Lloyd, an overweight young man, works at Demon Mart, a local store where the beer cave in the back doubles as a portal to Hell. Poor Lloyd...he was looking forward to 12 days away from work and going on vacation.

Unfortunately, there is going to be a huge Christmas party with tons of relatives at the house where he lives. “We were in the Christmas trenches, surrounded by relatives we would never be caught dead with in a million years if we weren’t genetically linked.”

Lloyd, Dee, who is his love interest, and his boss Kevin, who also happens to be a talking roach, are at the party along with all his relatives. There is a lot of drinking, dancing and undesired conversations about weather and medical conditions. Plenty of things that just make the night interesting, like possessed snowmen and a three legged cat that pees on a the Christmas tree. The party is also visited by the spirits of 12 dead murderers seeking revenge. These spirits are after Caroline Ford, a party guest. It is up to Lloyd and the entire group to keep Caroline safe without sacrificing her to these spirits. I could not stop laughing while reading this book.

[Jae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lloyd Wallace is using his time off from working at the local mini-mart (which has a beer cave that doubles as a gate to hell) to build the perfect snowman. This year, he intends to win the neighborhood competition. Scooter Davis is going down! Lloyd must also help his parents get ready for their annual Christmas Eve party--the last gasp of fun before the dour relatives descend on them for Christmas day. However, when a blizzard is forecast, the relatives arrive early. Lloyd's mother is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and Lloyd himself is wondering how he let Kevin, the cockroach, talk him into a party invitation. Things go from bad to worse when a van load of new ghosts possess the local snowmen and go on a rampage, targeting the Wallace house. Now it's up to Lloyd and his co-workers, Doc and DeeDee, to save the day. And Christmas. All without letting the "normal" people realize that the supernatural is alive and well and coming for them.

This was hilarious! Crack at its finest! It seemed that every disaster that could befall Lloyd (and the party) did, from the cat peeing on the cords and shorting out the tree to a snobby socialite dropping in to lord it over everyone, to the booze running out. Lloyd was teetering on a meltdown, but his co-workers helped him remain focused, even when they sent him out as live bait for the murderous snowmen.

I laughed my way all through this and would definitely read more in the series. Five stars!

[Justin Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

A talking, heavy metal loving cockroach, your mother & her book club are drunk, 1 of your grandfathers is fast asleep in a recliner, the neighborhood socialite is on Xanax & lord knows what else and finally.. To make things worse there is a GIANT snowstorm bearing down on you. What do you do Annnddd GO! For Lloyd Wallace & his coworkers of the 24/7 Demon Mart, it’s “another day at the office”. Except.. Lloyd is supposed to be enjoying 12 days off from work due to “Yule Season” Unfortunately, apparently someone didn’t get the memo upstairs. Things start out okay enough, time spent with the family (minus your overachiever sister) turns into a cluster f situation. First the rest of your family.. grandmas, grandad, etc show up early, & apparently someone didn’t tell Grandma Mildred (?) that she wasn’t invited. From there, it gets continuously worse & worse as the night goes on, including possessed snowmen, aforementioned socialite being forced to be at the party due to weather circumstances. Come read what Lloyd & Co are forced to do to take care of said snowman problem. I guess there really is no rest for the weary.

[Matthew Fries · Rating 5 out of 5]

I subscribe to Ms. Guay's newsletter, and I know she is a super-funny person. She has the best newsletter an author could have. It's fun and informative. This is actually the first book of her's that I have read. I know she has many other, but this one drew me in because I really enjoy Christmas-themed horror comedy. (Imagine that even being a thing. But I assure you it is!) I have to say, I didn't love this book. I expect that I will love another of her books because all the elements of a good time are present. I am definitely going to try another one though. It kind of felt forced. The characters were slightly too wacky, and maybe didn't ring true to me. The concept was funny as hell, but overall, I didn't love it. I give it five stars as an act of defiance. The star rating, and amateur reviewer era, needs to end. My personal opinion should mean nothing in terms of Ms Guay's book sales. If you think the book sounds good to you, you should buy it and support the author. Don't let me, an amateur reviewer, tell you what is good and what is not good. Maybe I am just not smart enough to get it.

[Timothy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short story? Novella? However you describe it this book has more silliness in it than War & Peace and Crime & Punishment combined at only 4% of the reading.
Lloyd and the crew from 24/7 Demon Mart are back for the holidays. The annual neighborhood Christmas party is being thrown by his mother, DeeDee's parents decided to spend the week at her place so she ends up at Lloyd's to escape from them, and Kevin, the talking and mind reading cockroach wants to party, too. Add in his hyper-judgemental aunt and grandmother, his grandfather, and laidback grandma Linda showing up a day early (The airport may close because of the weather. Doesn't matter that they live less than 40 miles away and drove.), a van load of convicted murderers crashing a block from the house, and an outfit women's book club and you get a night you'll remember. Throw in some spirits and a hell beast and you'll wish you could forget.
Silly, funny, and well worth the time to read unlike the previously mentioned Crime & Punishment.

[Karen Tankersley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was hilarious 😂

I should mention that if you want to read this book, you’ll need to read The Graveyard Shift first, or you’ll be hopelessly lost.

This story follows the lovable slacker Lloyd, who works at a convenience store with a portal to hell in the back. Just before Christmas, the portal is sealed and the employees are given twelve days off. Lloyd then sets out to survive an even more daunting task— his family’s annual Christmas party.

Hijinks ensue. Having nowhere better to be, Lloyd’s co-workers crash his holiday party. Lloyd and his friends go up against possessed snowmen, horrible relatives, and a drunk angel who turns water into wine (but not before turning it into tapioca).

My favorite parts of this story are Lloyd’s internal monologues, and his guardian angel (who speaks to Lloyd through a Magic-8 Ball). It’s a quick, funny read. 😃

[BP Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

DM Guay had me at drunk cockroach wearing the world's smallest ugly sweater.

I got this book as a stocking stuffer for Christmas and, much to the chagrin of my family, I completely ignored them unless it was to tell them why I was laughing. "Hell for the Holidays" takes all of the mundane holiday traditions and turns them into dark parody. I'd never heard of DM Guay before but thank Jeebus I have now!

Right now, "Hell for the Holidays" is sitting on the shelf next to Christopher Moore's "The Stupidest Angel," waiting to get me in the festive mood when November to roll around.

This is a great book to get for anyone who likes dark humor and absurdity... or if the reader is someone who just wants a fun, novella-sized book to go with a stiff egg nogg.

Definitely something to buy a middle to high school kid to read after their phone gets taken away.

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderfully hilarious

D.M. has done it again. This time I finished the book in one sitting, it was that good. A fun, light-hearted, rollicking, hilarious, good time story. All the characters you loved in the first book are back and enjoying a family Christmas worthy of Chevy Chase when disaster strikes in the form of the most evil and bills thing in existence: the rich hag who thinks she better than everyone else.

All in all, I highly recommend this fun Christmas tale.

[Panda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This came packaged in with the audiobook as a bonus story.

It's a short charismas tale full of family get togethers, chrismas dinner parties, murder and snowmen.

Oddly enough this short one was the funniest of all the Demon Mart tales. Maybe it's the season, maybe because I know a few grumpy and overly judgmental family members like the ones in the book but it had some of the best written moments in the series.

I highly recommend this one for the holidays, perfectly seasonal.

[Jill Mishmash · Rating 5 out of 5]

Xmas, relatives, drunks and monsters.

This book has a lot of truth to it. Who doesn't like it when their relatives come over for Xmas. Who doesn't have drunks at Xmas. And who doesn't think someone looks like a monster on Xmas. I really like this book and definitely would recommend it. It is funny, exciting and keeps you guessing where the monsters are, how are you going to get rid of them and how are you going to save Xmas! Read it.

[Keli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Second verse (same as the first)

I can’t remember if I (I’m old, shoot me) reviewed this the first time I read it or not, so here we go. I’m a die-hard D.M. Guay fan and love ALL her books and this one rocks (again)! Y’all will love Lloyd, Kevin, Dee Dee, and a cast unbelievable. Or very believable, depending on your life style. Completely recommend and will likely go back and read all her other books just because. ;)

[Jordyn Kross · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great novella follow-up to the first Demon Mart book. This one captures all the things we love and hate about the holidays. Fun, quick read. To best enjoy this, I recommend reading The Graveyard Shift first.

[Erin Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Poor Lloyd, he was really looking forward to 12 days free from work and creatures from hell, besides his relatives. Unfortunately, Lloyd gets both, and earlier than expected. But, with a little help from his coworkers turned friends, Lloyd and the Demon Mart gang save his mother's Christmas party, and all the guests.

[Damien Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Carolyn. Ford. Vanderbilt. I hate you with all of my being, maybe not all of it but it is close. This book was great, quick, fun, and took my mind off of the outside world. I read it in February, but the story is definitely perfect for Xmas. If you’re reading reviews thinking of trying it, do it. I love graveyard shift and this was the perfect follow up.

[Kathy Wortham · Rating 5 out of 5]

A sarcastically funny generational view of Christmas. Lloyd is trapped, literally, in his house with all his family, the neighbors, the society queen, and the Demon Mart employees. Not so hard to escape you think. Until you see the thirteen vengeful ghosts outside who have taken over his (hopefully) award winning snowman display. Who will live and who will escape?

[Paige Ray · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was the perfect horror comedy for the holidays! I didn’t read the first book of this series but I didn’t really think I needed to in order to understand this one. I’m going to read it though after having enjoyed this one so much!

“Well, Lloyd. Here's to hoping all of our Christmas wishes come true. Just don't hold your breath, because Christmas blows.”

The description is pretty spot on “Ash vs. Evil Dead meets National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”

We all have those family members we can’t stand. Well imagine dealing with them during the holiday season while in the presence of demons and blood thirsty snowmen who come to life 🤣

Go give this a read. You won’t regret it 😂

[Kosta Galabov · Rating 3 out of 5]

the whole schtick of the series is starting to stale. the MC is the same as he was in the beginning of book #1... yeah, we get few laughs here and there, but that's pretty much all there is...
I will give one more book in these series a chance, and if it doesn't get _something_ different, preferably better, I am done...