Ranch: The Musical

by Jon Konrath

Absurdist writer Jon Konrath returns with a new collection of flash, micro-fiction, and other gonzo, neo-dada, post-apocalyptic weirdness. This new hoard of twenty-one bite-sized pieces is reminiscent of Konrath’s weird underground zine work, such as Mandatory Laxative and Air in the Paragraph Line, intermixed with longer bizarre stories.

The author of Atmospheres and cult classic Rumored to Exist weaves a chaotic nonlinear tapestry of pop culture, heavy metal, and offensive absurdity in this low-priced, high-value collection. It includes stories such as You Can’t Cure Irritable Bowel Syndrome with Two Pounds of Grade-D Hamburger Meat, The Curse of the Van Hagar Enema Bag, ALSO MAKES A GREAT DIP!, and Brutal Kevin and the Mandatory Laxative Printing Mishap.

This is an unorthodox and unconventional collection practically designed to confuse and offend. Like the rest of Konrath’s work, it is a wild ride through the surreal and unconventional.

65 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 10, 2019

About the author

Jon Konrath is an American author born in 1971. He grew up in Indiana and studied computer science and English at Indiana University. After college, he worked as a software developer and technical writer, but eventually turned his attention to writing fiction.

Konrath is the author of several books, including "Rumored to Exist," "Thunderbird," and "The Earworm Inception." His writing is known for its unique blend of humor, absurdism, and surrealism, often blurring the lines between reality and fantasy.

In addition to writing, Konrath is also an accomplished photographer. He currently resides in California.

Reviews

[Janie · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I thought I was in the middle of a fever dream, dying of encephalitis.  I watched a cheesemonger splitting a large disc of cheddar with a chainsaw.  Looked like tornadoes outside.  I seriously needed to wear a full-body nitrite suit.  Look at this gut.  Why would you want to live a century and a half without touching french fries?  Nature's candy.  Why do we even have separate teeth at this point?  I am an artist.  I have a beret. Everyone wants french fries with everything.  CHECK OUT MY MAN BUN!  Maybe the interdimensional travel was scrambling my DNA.  Burger King could now control the weather.  The contrail situation looked like a Depeche Mode album cover.  Can I get you more French fries?"

Jon Konrath!  I got the yips!  I'd rather read his books than eat any amount of french fries.  The above lines are all from Ranch: The Musical.  Get your copy while you can.  There's a rumor that the printer is on a religious rampage.

[Kirk · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my first deep dive into Konrath’s work. I’ve tried a few of his longer works, but there’s a lot to take in. I usually feel overwhelmed with the stream of conscious info dumps. You can tell he’s smart as hell, and has an incredible knack for supplementing random true fact with abstract fabrications, resulting in a surreality that is his own personal brand of writing.

The overall writing is hard to describe. We have incidents, happenings you might hear around a campfire or at the bar with your buddies. But you also get digressions that can veer so far out of the parameters of reality you’ll stay lost even as Konrath reels you back in. These digressions happen at breakneck speed, but then haunt you as he dives in and out of the narrative with side stories, some of which do relate to the central story and some of which don’t. Sometimes there is a clear plot trajectory and sometimes it isn’t needed.

And it works.

Honestly I’ve never read anything quite like his material.

If you read his blog, you’ll see that his style herein is deliberate, and markedly different from his non-fiction voice. Because there is SO MUCH being thrown at you in his fiction, I really enjoy his short stories. Atmospheres just about broke my fucking brain, but this collection worked for me. The one I read last year was enjoyable as well.

[Jeff O'Brien · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one has my favorite story ever by Jon Konrath but I forget what it was called and I don't feel like going and finding out. It's good tho.

[Nefariousbig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Classic Konrath!

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

These are some great pieces, exactly what I pick up Konrath’s short work for. Wild, fun, and fast. Worth checking out.

[Jillybeane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now I have that Van Hagar song stuck in my head