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Love Her Well: 10 Ways to Find Joy and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter
Now an ECPA Best Seller—Kari Kampakis's Love Her Well gives moms ten practical tips for how to build strong and lasting relationships with their daughters.
For many women, having a baby girl is a dream come true. But as girls grow up, the narrative of innocence and joy changes to one of dread as moms are told, "Just wait until she's a teenager!" and handed a disheartening and too-often-true script about a daughter's teenage season of life.
Author, blogger, and mom to four daughters Kari Kampakis thinks it's time to change the narrative and mind-set that leads moms to parent teen girls with a spirit of defeat instead of strength. Love Her Well isn't a guide to help mothers "fix" their daughters or make them behave. It's about a mom's journey, doing the heart-work necessary to love a teenager while still being a steady, supportive parent. Kari offers wisdom about how moms
Choose their words and timing carefully.Listen and empathize with her teen's world.See the good, and love her for who she is.Take care of themselves and find a support system in the process.By working on the foundation, habits, and dynamics of the relationship; mothers can connect with their teen daughters and earn a voice in their lives that allows moms to offer guidance, love, wisdom, and emotional support.
Kari gives mothers hope, wisdom, and a reminder that all things are possible through God, who is the source of the guidance and clarity they need in order to grow strong relationships with their daughters at every age—especially during the critical teen years.
For many women, having a baby girl is a dream come true. But as girls grow up, the narrative of innocence and joy changes to one of dread as moms are told, "Just wait until she's a teenager!" and handed a disheartening and too-often-true script about a daughter's teenage season of life.
Author, blogger, and mom to four daughters Kari Kampakis thinks it's time to change the narrative and mind-set that leads moms to parent teen girls with a spirit of defeat instead of strength. Love Her Well isn't a guide to help mothers "fix" their daughters or make them behave. It's about a mom's journey, doing the heart-work necessary to love a teenager while still being a steady, supportive parent. Kari offers wisdom about how moms
Choose their words and timing carefully.Listen and empathize with her teen's world.See the good, and love her for who she is.Take care of themselves and find a support system in the process.By working on the foundation, habits, and dynamics of the relationship; mothers can connect with their teen daughters and earn a voice in their lives that allows moms to offer guidance, love, wisdom, and emotional support.
Kari gives mothers hope, wisdom, and a reminder that all things are possible through God, who is the source of the guidance and clarity they need in order to grow strong relationships with their daughters at every age—especially during the critical teen years.
238 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 18, 2020
580 people are currently reading
3893 people want to read
About the author
Kari Kampakis
8 books131 followersKari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a blogger, author, speaker, and newspaper columnist from Birmingham, Alabama.
Her bestselling books, 10 ULTIMATE TRUTHS GIRLS SHOULD KNOW and LIKED: WHOSE APPROVAL ARE YOU LIVING FOR?, have been used widely across the country by teen youth groups and small groups to empower girls through faith.
Kari’s work has been featured on The Huffington Post, TODAY Parents, and other national outlets. She and her husband, Harry, have four daughters and a dog named Lola.
Learn more by visiting www.karikampakis.com or finding Kari on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.
Her bestselling books, 10 ULTIMATE TRUTHS GIRLS SHOULD KNOW and LIKED: WHOSE APPROVAL ARE YOU LIVING FOR?, have been used widely across the country by teen youth groups and small groups to empower girls through faith.
Kari’s work has been featured on The Huffington Post, TODAY Parents, and other national outlets. She and her husband, Harry, have four daughters and a dog named Lola.
Learn more by visiting www.karikampakis.com or finding Kari on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 153 reviews
March 9, 2021
So great! Not just applicable for girls, boys can benefit from all of this!
April 28, 2023
I nearly gave this book a pass because the sound quality on Audible is not great, but I'm glad I stuck with it in the end. Kari Kampakis is a Catholic author of books for teen girls, and I believe this is the first book she wrote for moms. I can't say that it made me consider anything new, but I did tear up while listening a few times, so there's something. Even the author's Alabama accent was totally endearing by the end. It felt like catching up with a mom friend who's a little further along the path than I am. Filled with lots of practical encouragements for moms of daughters. And you definitely don't need to be in a tricky place with your daughter to benefit from it. If you want some fresh ideas for how to show her how much you love her in all kinds of different ways, this book will help.
June 6, 2025
3rd trip through. It is still amazing! thank you Lord for this book!
This book is a 5 ⭐️ read. I love it wholeheartedly. I felt so seen, so validated, so encouraged. I thanked God for this book almost every time I picked it up. Even though I checked it out from the library, I now plan to buy a copy. Also praying about re-reading it this summer with a group of moms. This author knows teen girls well and the hearts of moms even better. If you’re looking for a faith-based book for moms of teen girls, it’s this one; Read this one ❤️
This book is a 5 ⭐️ read. I love it wholeheartedly. I felt so seen, so validated, so encouraged. I thanked God for this book almost every time I picked it up. Even though I checked it out from the library, I now plan to buy a copy. Also praying about re-reading it this summer with a group of moms. This author knows teen girls well and the hearts of moms even better. If you’re looking for a faith-based book for moms of teen girls, it’s this one; Read this one ❤️
July 28, 2020
While reading this book, I quickly realized that I am not the right audience. Please go into my review knowing that key detail. just because I didn't like this book doesn't mean it isn't right for you.
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I recently read Let Them Be Kids, another book written by a Christian mom. Although that book did have some mentions of religion, I didn't feel like it was a overpowering theme of the book. In Love Her Well, the aspects of faith are MUCH more dominating, and for me that was off putting.
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In Love Her Well, author Kari Kampakis, mother of four girls shares her ten ways to have a better connection with your teenage daughter. I have two young girls no where near their teen years, but I was still curious about the author's insight as something to acknowledge and think about for the future. As a kid and teen I kept open communication with my parents, I was not impulsive, or a risk taker, or a rule breaker. The thought of my kids not following my goody-goody approach, or willingness to let me be a pet of their life, terrifies me and I want all the knowledge I can get ahead of time!
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I found many of the talking points and teaching points outlined in this book to be valid and helpful, not just for teenage girls, but for raising children in general. However, there wasn't a lot that I hadn't already considered, or that seemed like something that wasn't a natural response for me.
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At the end of each section the author provides some reflection questions. As a learning tool, I can really appreciate these exercises in critical thinking and how to apply aspects of the book to your own life, experiences and relationships. I can especially see the importance of using these questions if you are currently having a hard time with your daughter. It always helps to write things out and think things through.
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I didn't particularly like that the synopsis from the back of the book suggested that there comes a point in a girl's life where she becomes a hardship to her parents. My own mom has often said that she kept waiting for me to reach my challenging teen years but it never came. I wasn't moody, overly emotionally, self centered or reckless. Not everyone girl is.
.
I recently read Let Them Be Kids, another book written by a Christian mom. Although that book did have some mentions of religion, I didn't feel like it was a overpowering theme of the book. In Love Her Well, the aspects of faith are MUCH more dominating, and for me that was off putting.
.
In Love Her Well, author Kari Kampakis, mother of four girls shares her ten ways to have a better connection with your teenage daughter. I have two young girls no where near their teen years, but I was still curious about the author's insight as something to acknowledge and think about for the future. As a kid and teen I kept open communication with my parents, I was not impulsive, or a risk taker, or a rule breaker. The thought of my kids not following my goody-goody approach, or willingness to let me be a pet of their life, terrifies me and I want all the knowledge I can get ahead of time!
.
I found many of the talking points and teaching points outlined in this book to be valid and helpful, not just for teenage girls, but for raising children in general. However, there wasn't a lot that I hadn't already considered, or that seemed like something that wasn't a natural response for me.
.
At the end of each section the author provides some reflection questions. As a learning tool, I can really appreciate these exercises in critical thinking and how to apply aspects of the book to your own life, experiences and relationships. I can especially see the importance of using these questions if you are currently having a hard time with your daughter. It always helps to write things out and think things through.
.
I didn't particularly like that the synopsis from the back of the book suggested that there comes a point in a girl's life where she becomes a hardship to her parents. My own mom has often said that she kept waiting for me to reach my challenging teen years but it never came. I wasn't moody, overly emotionally, self centered or reckless. Not everyone girl is.
June 26, 2021
I wish I’d read this many years ago. My girls are young adults now but the advice and encouragement in this book was still very relevant to me. I think every mom should read this.
April 19, 2024
Such a lovely book, I've enjoy every second of it. Didnt know it was cristian, tho
August 11, 2020
I was not familiar with Kari Kampakis before reading this book. I do enjoy devotionals, and parenting books, and Christian non-fiction so I really wanted to read this book. Each chapter was clearly its own topic and had a similar format. Title, quote, personal story, subcategory, list(s), scripture, and reflection questions. I think the author's medium is set up more like a blog series, or podcast, or short connections.
There are a LOT of lists in the book. I wasn't even half way done and there were a ton of lists:
12 core beliefs about parenting
35 ways to speak life to a teenager
14 realities impacting today’s teen girls
8 insights in The Teenage Brain
20 ways to prepare your daughter for the road
20 ways to grow a relationship with your teen daughter
10 ways to see the good in your daughter"
just to name a few and I found myself continuously setting it aside. I think they would've had a higher impact in a different media.
Every mother wants to be validated, especially when things aren't great. It was nice reading some of the tips and suggestions and thinking to myself, I do that or have done that! I'm on the right track or at least doing a good thing, even if it doesn't produce the results I want.
The little reminders like, just like your children need peer interaction- so do I really hit home since I've been unable or unwilling to interact with anyone socially for the past 5 months due to COVID19. I know I need friends and support from other moms. I know it takes a village. Sometimes I just need a reminder though that life is changing for everyone with teens, not just mine.
I think I would have enjoyed the reflection questions more if there weren't so many other lists. I do think they will be what I go back to and reread though and have conversations over.
I received a copy of this novel from the publisher. All opinions are my own, any review is voluntary.
There are a LOT of lists in the book. I wasn't even half way done and there were a ton of lists:
12 core beliefs about parenting
35 ways to speak life to a teenager
14 realities impacting today’s teen girls
8 insights in The Teenage Brain
20 ways to prepare your daughter for the road
20 ways to grow a relationship with your teen daughter
10 ways to see the good in your daughter"
just to name a few and I found myself continuously setting it aside. I think they would've had a higher impact in a different media.
Every mother wants to be validated, especially when things aren't great. It was nice reading some of the tips and suggestions and thinking to myself, I do that or have done that! I'm on the right track or at least doing a good thing, even if it doesn't produce the results I want.
The little reminders like, just like your children need peer interaction- so do I really hit home since I've been unable or unwilling to interact with anyone socially for the past 5 months due to COVID19. I know I need friends and support from other moms. I know it takes a village. Sometimes I just need a reminder though that life is changing for everyone with teens, not just mine.
I think I would have enjoyed the reflection questions more if there weren't so many other lists. I do think they will be what I go back to and reread though and have conversations over.
I received a copy of this novel from the publisher. All opinions are my own, any review is voluntary.
January 19, 2025
I loved the practicality and ease of this book. Pursue your daughter, love them well, point them to Jesus.
September 3, 2020
As a mother to a teenage girl, this was the perfect book for me. My daughter, my first born child was my miracle baby and truly a dream come true that completed my family - my own family. As I read Kari's book, I find that I agreed, nodded my head a lot - her words and guidance provide wonderful wisdom and the support all mothers need. I found her life experience and what she has shared to be so comforting and loving - never preachy but like having a best friend and a great support system.
I wanted my mother to have had read this book - it would have helped her and myself. What I loved is that I did not need to be the perfect mom to my teenage daughter. We are allowed to make mistakes along the way and give grace to ourselves and our children. The teen years are critical for our teenagers and yes it is tough, but with the right mindset and guidance, it didn't have to be the painful years, but some of the best years as a parent to a child.
Kari Kampakis book, Love Her Well is not only a wonderful guide to parents, but is also inspirational and hopeful. Full of love and practical advice, Kari Kampakis provides sound guidance to empathizing in our role as a parent and to solidify the loving connection with our teens.
What a great read I needed. I highly recommend.
I wanted my mother to have had read this book - it would have helped her and myself. What I loved is that I did not need to be the perfect mom to my teenage daughter. We are allowed to make mistakes along the way and give grace to ourselves and our children. The teen years are critical for our teenagers and yes it is tough, but with the right mindset and guidance, it didn't have to be the painful years, but some of the best years as a parent to a child.
Kari Kampakis book, Love Her Well is not only a wonderful guide to parents, but is also inspirational and hopeful. Full of love and practical advice, Kari Kampakis provides sound guidance to empathizing in our role as a parent and to solidify the loving connection with our teens.
What a great read I needed. I highly recommend.
October 6, 2024
Such a great book for moms, I bookmarked lots of pages to come back to again and again, great questions for both mom and daughter, prayer prompts and more!
August 17, 2020
As a mother to 5 (1 daughter- the middle child, & 4 sons- the 2 youngest are twins), I can't even tell you how many times over the yrs my hubs & I have said "Thank God the twins were boys!" TRUTH! I don't know if I could survive going through these current teen yrs (again) if my twin sons were daughters. And during a pandemic? I just got chills thinking about it.
I love the easy way this book is laid out. Easy to read & short, to the point chapters; inspirational quotes & proverbs; lists (boy, do I love lists!); reflection questions & space to write your answers at the end of each chapter; & so much relevant, useful & easily employable advice from an author who has been on the front lines of raising daughters for many years (she has 4 daughters).
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'Love Her Well' may quite possibly change your life if you are a mother to a teen or pre-teen daughter. It's insightful, practical, compassionate, & packed with many pearls of relatable wisdom. I, too, will be utilizing some of Kampakis's advice in my relationship w/ my 22-yr-old daughter. Have your pen, highlighter & post-it flags ready when you read this well-written, informational guidebook & be sure to check out Kari's blog & other books as well. (Links & more info available on my blog, link in bio.)
I love the easy way this book is laid out. Easy to read & short, to the point chapters; inspirational quotes & proverbs; lists (boy, do I love lists!); reflection questions & space to write your answers at the end of each chapter; & so much relevant, useful & easily employable advice from an author who has been on the front lines of raising daughters for many years (she has 4 daughters).
.
'Love Her Well' may quite possibly change your life if you are a mother to a teen or pre-teen daughter. It's insightful, practical, compassionate, & packed with many pearls of relatable wisdom. I, too, will be utilizing some of Kampakis's advice in my relationship w/ my 22-yr-old daughter. Have your pen, highlighter & post-it flags ready when you read this well-written, informational guidebook & be sure to check out Kari's blog & other books as well. (Links & more info available on my blog, link in bio.)
Want to read
September 6, 2023I've got three daughters and four granddaughters. My oldest daughter got this book and insisted that we need to read it and I agreed. Talking to teen girls can be a challenge and I am looking forward to learning some methods and how to effectively communicate with them and help them chart a course through their teen years and beyond.
I had a youth minister once tell me that the best way to handle a Junior Higher was to stick them in a barrow and feed them through the knot hole. He said there is no good way through these years, the only way is just to get through them. Those years are coming to a close for my granddaughters and now we have to try and mold them to be the women we want them to grow up to be.
I had a youth minister once tell me that the best way to handle a Junior Higher was to stick them in a barrow and feed them through the knot hole. He said there is no good way through these years, the only way is just to get through them. Those years are coming to a close for my granddaughters and now we have to try and mold them to be the women we want them to grow up to be.
March 18, 2023
If you are the mom of a teen or preteen daughter, read this book. I was worried that it would read like a manual of all the things we need “to do” as moms to be successful during the teen years. However, it was more encouraging and empathetic in understanding that no two experiences with this age group are the same. Providing biblical wisdom and tangible advice alongside empathy was the theme of this book. So much of this time in life can be guided and directed by how we manage our own emotions, disappointment, and fear… and where we go to for validation and support. An added layer is that there’s often uncharted territory in parenting a teen and it can feel very overwhelming. I checked this book out from the library at first and then realized that there are some great discussion questions to reflect on. I plan to go back and journal through those at a later time, now that the book has been purchased.
October 8, 2020
I enjoyed Love Her Well. I was looking for more books for Mother/Daughter relationships and am glad I was able to read this one.
I enjoyed the lists, stories, thoughts and prayers that this book discusses.
I can't wait to use what I've learned and highlighted into my daily life with my almost teenager.
I highly recommend this book to Christian mom's who are looking for books to help their relationship with their teenage daughters.
4 stars from me.
*Recv'd a copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*
I enjoyed the lists, stories, thoughts and prayers that this book discusses.
I can't wait to use what I've learned and highlighted into my daily life with my almost teenager.
I highly recommend this book to Christian mom's who are looking for books to help their relationship with their teenage daughters.
4 stars from me.
*Recv'd a copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*
May 31, 2021
Wonderful book on connecting with your teenage daughter. Easy to read and absorb the wisdom that the author shares. Great reminders about boundaries for our own lives and normalizing our daughters behaviors that felt somewhat isolating prior to reading this book. Love the authors tone, content and structuring of the book. Highly recommend!
December 30, 2023
I love Kari Kampakis from her Instagram feed. She has wonderful insights on parenting teenage girls, and I love her balanced and faith and relationship-based approach. The only flaw with this book was that I had already read a lot of it on Instagram, but I would definitely recommend it to anyone raising girls, especially if they are new to her work.
May 4, 2023
A very fast read. I would highly recommend this book to any parent with a Christian worldview that is struggling to relate to, connect with, or embrace and empower their daughter. It gives great, simple, practical advice for the big and small moments alike.
August 17, 2020
Kari Kampakis' new Love Her Well: 10 Ways to Find Joy and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter is just the book moms need for navigating the sometimes mysterious, often-misunderstood relationship between themselves and their teen daughters. Kampakis writes honestly and warmly, as if she were your own personal friend/mentor/coach. Mom of 4 daughters herself, Kampakis pulls back the curtain and shows readers the joys, heartaches, pressures, and pains that teen girls in today's culture face and wrestle with. And it's a lot. How is a mom to navigate these challenges with her daughter when, between a mom and daughter, there are often struggles out of that particular relationship?
Writing from a Christian perspective, Kampakis discusses ways moms can love and relate to their daughters well: selecting their words and the right moment to speak wisely; engaging by empathy and true listening; not just focusing on the flaws but the good, and pouring out extravagant love regardless. Kampakis also includes lots of lists to encourage moms and help them to step forward into their daughters lives with love and grace, including: 35 Ways to Speak Life to Your Daughter; 20 Ways to Grow a Relationship with Your Daughter; 20 Truths of Friendship; 10 Ways to See the Good in Your Daughter; and more.
I learned in my own parenting journey that the skill set that I relied on so heavily when my child was young wasn't really what I needed as he grew into his teen years. As he was building independence and strength and maturity, he didn't need a mom who was constantly correcting and/or directing. Instead, like the daughters that Kampakis writes about, he needed empathy, love, understanding and support. Our children face so many pressures that didn't even exist when we were teens, and they desperately need our love and support to conquer those.
I recommend this book, so full of wisdom and truth, to any mom who's frustrated with her own role as a mom and difficulty in relating to her daughter. (I also recommend this to boy moms! I found so much I could apply in my own family and my own life.) This book is enjoyable to read, yet so full of wise and loving tips for moms parenting teens in our culture. Check this out. It will bless you, encourage you, and, I hope, help you in your relationships with your own teens.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book which I received from the author. All views expressed are only my honest opinion.
Writing from a Christian perspective, Kampakis discusses ways moms can love and relate to their daughters well: selecting their words and the right moment to speak wisely; engaging by empathy and true listening; not just focusing on the flaws but the good, and pouring out extravagant love regardless. Kampakis also includes lots of lists to encourage moms and help them to step forward into their daughters lives with love and grace, including: 35 Ways to Speak Life to Your Daughter; 20 Ways to Grow a Relationship with Your Daughter; 20 Truths of Friendship; 10 Ways to See the Good in Your Daughter; and more.
I learned in my own parenting journey that the skill set that I relied on so heavily when my child was young wasn't really what I needed as he grew into his teen years. As he was building independence and strength and maturity, he didn't need a mom who was constantly correcting and/or directing. Instead, like the daughters that Kampakis writes about, he needed empathy, love, understanding and support. Our children face so many pressures that didn't even exist when we were teens, and they desperately need our love and support to conquer those.
I recommend this book, so full of wisdom and truth, to any mom who's frustrated with her own role as a mom and difficulty in relating to her daughter. (I also recommend this to boy moms! I found so much I could apply in my own family and my own life.) This book is enjoyable to read, yet so full of wise and loving tips for moms parenting teens in our culture. Check this out. It will bless you, encourage you, and, I hope, help you in your relationships with your own teens.
I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book which I received from the author. All views expressed are only my honest opinion.
April 2, 2021
I love it when books meet you right where you’re at, and speak encouragement and hope like a friend. I both needed and loved this book!
August 26, 2022
If you have daughters, you should read this book. It’s going to be one I return to again and again. So good!
March 2, 2024
Excellent book! Kari provides biblical, practical advice for moms of teens and preteens. Every mother/aunt/Gma of a girl needs to read this. I will absolutely be referring back to this over the years!
August 27, 2024
Love this book for all of the ideas and insight. I plan to reread over the years for so many needed reminders.
October 2, 2024
Moms! This book was written FOR US! I couldn’t have chosen this book at a greater time. You don’t have to be a girl mom to relate and grow from these words and scripture.
December 28, 2024
Great book! I will definitely be recommending it to friends with daughters in the future. Some of the information was great with my teen son also. I even read some parts out loud to my teen daughter and she enjoyed listening to it. I will definitely be rereading this over and over again, and I highlighted probably half the book.
June 8, 2025
10/10 recommend this book. Going to buy the physical copy just so I can highlight and tab all the goodness in here. If you have daughters it’s a must read!!
October 23, 2024
Great Christian book on how to connect with your daughter during these teen years. Highly recommend. I wish I had read it sooner.
June 27, 2025
A good reminder to just be conscious, present and intentional. These are things I know, but can never be reminded of too often.
October 6, 2022
This book is one that I will refer back to as I have folded and underlined practically every page in this book! Really helpful book to help in navigating life with your teenager daughters. Thankful for this book!
May 16, 2023
As a mom of three girls, this book was absolutely a gift. I’m so grateful for the teaching guidance and wisdom and courage meant from Kari. I cannot recommend enough!!
May 16, 2025
I love everything about Kari Kampakis, her podcast The Girl Mom has been a long time favorite of mine and in my steady rotation. I could listen to her voice all day and her excellent perspective on raising girls (I find it easy to apply her suggestions while I raise boys too). She is incredibly faithful to God and has helped me to turn to prayer and my own faith when I am trying to find the ways to best support my kids.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 153 reviews