Impossible Parenting: Creating a New Culture of Mental Health for Parents

by Olivia Scobie

A roadmap for parents who want to feel less pressure and more joy during the intense early years of childrearing.


Why is it that research suggests people who don’t have kids are happier than people who do?


Olivia Scobie provides practical solutions for parents who find themselves pushing beyond their capacity to meet impossible standards, and challenges parents to shift their thinking from child-centred to family-centred.


By naming today’s unrealistic parenting expectations as impossible from the get-go, Impossible Parenting creates the space to acknowledge harmful expectations for new parents and begins a conversation that focuses on healing and doing the best one can with the resources available.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

232 pages, Paperback

Published August 29, 2020

Reviews

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant!! Focuses primarily on the postpartum period. I wish I had read this book with my first baby (who was a very problematic sleeper!) but I’m pregnant with my third and it’s never too late. Give this book to all your expectant friends!!!

[Lauren Simmons · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolute must-read for parents of kids under 5. An honest look at how the way we parent today is destroying us.

[JoAnna · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a birth and postpartum support professional, this is one of the best books I've read that focused on PMADs (perinatal mood and anxiety disorders) as well as the high stress culture of parenting in the US. If you are expecting, have an infant or toddler, or work with expecting and new parents, I strongly recommend this book!

[Karin · Rating 5 out of 5]

There are so many parenting styles to choose from nowadays. But the one that's maybe the most important one is the 'good-enough' parent. Parents, like non-parents are human beings that do loving things, make mistakes, try to be the best they can be and then discover that they can't take the pressure to be perfect. Stress in the post pregnancy years is real and many suffer from it, silently or by privately seeing their doctor or a counselor. We need to bring motherhood off the pedestal and instead help new parents to deal with the reality of birth, sleeping disruptions, releationship disruptions, feeding of the baby in ways that empower and assist the new family. After-birth letdowns create lonliness unless they can be compassionately and realistically discussed and read about in mainstream parenting materials.

The chapter marked 'Author's Notes' needs a better title as it should NOT be skipped! This is where Scobie discusses life since the covid shutdowns. Very pertinant and educational. Not just author notes.

This is a book i would have loved to have found during my pregnancy days and after. The first time i might have read and dismissed it as too negative, but after going thru my own anxiety / depressions i'd have remembered it and read it again for it's compassion for real life parents and parenting decisions.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for pregnant and postpartum people. Not just an exploration in PPD and PPA (although that is covered), but a practical and helpful guide for sufferers and non-sufferers alike, as well as a very real look into how tremendously difficult parenting can be. Also offers practical guidance in navigating these different mental health pieces in parenting.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book on parenting I’ve read - and I’ve read so many. So many. This is a book I’ll be buying for all my new parent friends, and one I’ve already returned to frequently. Thank you for writing this book.

[Lynnaea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best take I've ever read on parental mental health. There is not a single thing I would change and I wish I could make all new parents read this in the fourth trimester. What makes it great:

1) evidence-based but provides suggestions for areas where the research evidence isn't definitive. I love the openness to alternative health practices and found that incredibly validating without being anti-science

2) inclusive language! Uses specific language when necessary (like if addressing research on mothers will say "mothers") but avoids unnecessary gendered language

3) perfectly balances validating the hardships of parenthood with hope and strategies for coping

I just felt so SEEN when I read this. I read several passages out loud to me husband and am buying it for all pregnant friends from now on!

5/5

[Alena · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although I am grateful for the premise, strategies, and overall purpose presented in this book, I found it was hard to read because it was presented much like a dissertation paper and I couldn’t get into it as much as I wanted to. They say pregnant people lose brain cells that they don’t get back for two years postpartum, so maybe I should try reading this again later in life. For now, I’ll give it 5 stars for content but less for my preferred reading style, an overall levelled 3.

[Kyla Erman · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are some pretty good bits and pieces in this book. However, I would definitely NOT read this book if you are trying to decide if you want kids or while you are pregnant with your first child. She talks a lot about the hardships of parenting (which can be really validating), but she hardly talks about how wonderful it can be too. Honestly, if I had read this before having kids, I’m not sure I would have had any to begin with.

[Mauricio Parrado P · Rating 5 out of 5]

Useful for those first 5 years. I wish I had read this one before, but is aligned with my conviction that moms have to be cared as well or even better than newborns or toddlers. The family-centric approach instead of kids-centric one, is definitively a game changer on this imperfect role of being a parent.

[Lindsey Bailey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid information for new parents.

[Kira Ariel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this book!! I loved the author’s perspectives and insights, and learned so much from reading this book. Truly a must read for parents and prospective parents.

[Tish · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best parenting book I have read so far.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed the beginning of the book greatly, but the end of the book droned on a bit.

[Sasha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Agree with the ideas but didn’t enjoy reading the book.

[Janette Barth Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceptional read for parents!