"We only get so many days."
"What a mantra", Tony thought. It was vague enough to apply to so many things. Its frame for time appearing, at first, grim for the thought of death. Yet optimism could break through; through brevity, through apathy. If we only get so many days, why not make each one great? Just as easily, if we only get so many days, why bother doing anything at all?
And just like that, Tony had one less.
From that day forward Tony programmed his robot, HS-11, to record all the things he accomplished at the end of each day, so as to illicit a sense of accomplishment. At the beginning of each day, HS-11 uploaded a venn diagram to Tony's augmented arm-computer. Each of the two circles contained an adjective, the intersect of which being the deed Tony had planned to accomplish for that day. Surely, he pondered, this will make my days truly worthwhile.
Day 1: Awesome X Delicious.
beep, BEEP, BEEP
"Fuck it. Snooze."
Clearly everyone knows that it takes people at least 2 weeks to adjust to any new form of sleep schedule. The Lenticular Blinds system descended on Tony's windows while his apartment's operating system simulated a night mode.
"I'll have an awesome breakfast." Done.
Day 2: Incredible X Brave
This time when the alarm went off Tony sprang from his bed. Looking down at his wrist, he was already reluctant.
"I am not brave", he said longingly. "I do however, feel incredible. So one out of two, not bad."
While his automated hygiene system blasted plague off his teeth, Tony wondered what he might do that was both incredible and brave. He took his jetpack and met Megan at Doppler's Diner.
Tony applied minimalism to his thinking: "Maybe brave can be something more abstract like talking to a cute girl; thats brave isn't it?"
Megan did not look pleased.
"You know what I meant Megs." Realizing that in fact Megan was a girl and an easy contender for a cute one.
Megan sighed. Their breakfast arrived. They ate. They left.
"No. No. We are not going to the arcade. Every time we go I lose all my credits to PROTECT ME ROBOT!" Megan sounded both excited and hesitant.
"Relax", replied Tony. "I heard some jokesters broke the unit because they tried to root into it and cheat. We are just going to meet up with Perry."
Perry, too busy with his summer school was not much help at all.
"Why don't you try the Railux Run, I saw that you upgraded your pack with that VS-4 booster." Said Perry humorously popping his head over his already transparent digi-tablet.
"Uh that mod was so I can take turns better, its not going to help me beat Railux." retorted Tony.
"But Railux is all about the turns! Besides, I heard Miike Snow will be playing a secret show there around 11." Perry's arguments were becoming more infallible by the second. "And you know who looooves Miike Snow..."
"Oh please, can we not?" Megan piqued up.
They all knew what the Perry's ellipses was for. Tony's former co-worker, former lover, and current Miike Snow fan- Linda Court.
Megan interjected the best she could, "You know she's already dating someone else."
"Sure, Ian the ProtoBowler", answered Tony. "By the way, since when is ProtoBowling a legitimate career?"
"Maybe its when he scored 9,000 on En last Thursday. Or the 8,600 on Ot last month." Megan was quick to point out.
"Big deal, En and Ot are novice fields! He didn't even break ten thousand." said Tony.
"Its your Disaster, Tony." Like always Megan just went along with Tony's antics.
Tony, Megan and Perry boarded the Railux Shuttle with their packs. On the ride over, Tony downloaded the Railux map to his augment and projected it onto the wall. Railux was considered a difficult course for no other reason than its impressive height above ground. At nearly 25 meters high, Railux made for quite the epic backdrop for events.
If tonights show was supposed to be a secret, they must have only tried to hide it from the luddites. Giant displays arced across the que zone. Lights and lasers filled the sky with enough intensity to create a false daylight. Generic electronic music blared out from a relic MonoSpeaker, the likes of which had not been heard from since the MonoSpeakerZero was released late last month. Then again, it only made sense to wait until the inevitable MonoSpeakerNegativeOne before upgrading.
Miike Snow or Linda Court were nowhere to be found. In their place was a mass of gyrating, well dressed, stylish people clearly more interested in each other than the event at hand.
"Quick, Megan get over here; Perry, get lost!" Tony's typical plan was once again set into motion. As far as the general consensus was concerned, Linda's absence promoted Megan to the most attractive girl at the event. Having his arm around her certainly didn't hurt Tony's appeal.
In the entire recorded history of Gal Fridays, very few surpassed Megan. Many purveyors of such rarities might recall the night Tony allowed enough ethanol to interfere with his hippocampus to result in an ill-advised skinny dip into a fountain full of similarly clad women. Upon realizing his dramatic unpreparedness towards nudity, demanded the dress right off Megan's back. A drunken boy wrapped in a dress, a girl in much less, and its clear to what relational situation the two were ever in. Later that week, he made her a cake fashioned in her favorite PROTECT ME ROBOT! theme. They called it even.
If we were to explore the intricacies of Tony and Megan's platonic relationship, simply put- Tony had at one point a fascination (borderline fetish) for Aviatrixes. On the day Tony met Megan she was wearing a cap and goggle set that closely resembled the type an aviatrix would wear. He was deeply in love with that ensemble right up until the fascination ended and he was no longer interested. Megan, who had merely been a third party externality to Tony's affair with her headwear never bothered to leave for want of adorable company. Also, he made her cakes.
And so the two went on as envious girls tried to pry Tony's attention away from the bombshell to his right. It rarely worked to completion, but when it did, the dividends were astronomical.
Get the attention of girls. Make Linda jealuos. Ian's a loser. Win Linda Back.
This was the plan. Incredible by Brave be damned!
When Linda eventually arrived, she came bearing surprises. First of which, she had come alone. Secondly, she was ecstatic to see Tony. Third, she had dyed her hair a very dark red. These were three things Linda knew Tony could not resist. Of course, Tony knew that Linda knew these things. And in that moment of recursion Tony would fall right for it. What was the point in having weaknesses if they were not immune to exploitation. Justification was as beautiful as Linda looked that night. The best part was, Tony didn't even have to do the Railux Run!
Linda's apartment was soberingly familiar. There was the MonoSpeaker Tony had helped her pick out. He thought about the kind of music it must have played while Ian was here with Linda. The indecent thought made him hungry. In the corner was Linda's robot unit in need of repair. Tony thought for a moment of volunteering to fix it, then changed his mind in order to avoid a typecasting. It was getting dark Tony's deadline for a worthwhile day was almost up.
Day 3: Amazing X Clever
Like always, Tony had woken up much earlier than Linda. He turned from his side to his back before putting together the simple fact that Ian had probably stared up at this same ceiling just one too many times. Tony was happy to be back with Linda, but he could not get over Ian. What happened? Who ended things with whom?
Suddenly she awoke. "You asshole." Was the first thing she said.
Tony, unable to determine right away if she was joking or not, remained silent but made it clear that he heard her.
"What the fuck happened last night?" Linda continued. Tony had always been impressed with Linda's propensity for vulgarity. He felt like every time she swore it was a little bit of evidence in her indictment against wholesomeness.
"Excuse me?"
"What are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be at that little twat's place pretending you're not attracted to her?" Linda let loose. "The whole district knows you two fancy each other. You're just too afraid to lose the last girl in town who'd still give you the time of day."
"Sudden." Remarked Tony. "And what was this? Some attempt to test my boundaries? Since when did you care? I thought you were seeing the ProtoBowler."
"You're such a dick, Anthony." Linda sat up. "I didn't leave you for Ian, I left because you spent more time with Megan than with me. What are people supposed to think of my boyfriend who'd rather bake cakes for his "friend" than spend time with his girlfriend. God. Gal Friday, what does that even mean?"
"I don't know, the Avengers?"
"What"
"Gal Friday, its from the Avengers, a TV show from the 60s."
"Go home Anthony."
It was a dull jetpack ride from Linda's place to Doppler's Diner. Usually Tony would have called Megan to keep him entertained. Of course, doing so now would only validate Linda's sentiments. Perry would do for now.
"So she just invited you over for a fuck?" Perry was astonished. "And then she confronted you about Megan? Thats bizarre. Are you going to tell Megan?"
Tony's answered justly: "No, I don't think I will. Thats what Linda'd want."
"You know she's going to want to know." prodded Perry.
"Yeah I know."
Just then the Diner door flew open. It didn't take long before anyone recognized the new patron- persons in ProtoBowling gear, with all the reticule's and antennae, were hard to miss.
"You're a dead man Tony!" Shouted Ian from across the Diner.
"Unbelievable" Tony thought. "How cliche' is this right now?" Fortunately, unlike the the countless movies at the Virtual-Plexes, Ian and Tony were actually well matched. If they were in the same wrestling league, they would no doubt be in the same weight division. Controversely, years honing his ProtoBowling skills gave Ian the slightest upper hand in any sort of fisticuffs.
Tony thought about his venn diagram from this morning. Amazing by clever. Talking his way out of this situation would alleviate two of his dilemmas. Then again, nothing appeared to solve the larger issue at hand- what to do about Megan and Linda. Either way it didn't matter anymore because at this point Ian's elbow was accelerating at Tony's forehead faster than anything wit might allow. Tony thought of two things at that moment: "ProtoBowling is a great workout, and what a day."
And just like that, Tony had one less.
Day 4: Unbelievable X Charitable
Tony woke up in an orange bedroom knowing full well who he'd be greeted by. There she was, a true sight for sore eyes, as she leaned forward as if looking for something in Tony's head. Perry must have brought him here after the "brawl". Tony could imagine that this was Perry's way of ameliorating the current disparity between his two best friends. Perry is a lot smarter than he lets off.
"You idiot." Megan skipped right to the pleasantries. "Your own disaster, I said, your own disaster."
Megan was right, not because she was smart; it was mostly because she had a good track record with this sort of thing.
"So you slept with her." Megan's tone shifted to stern. "Thanks to me?"
"You have no idea, Megs" Tony replied.
"Well I hope it was worth it- you owe me one hell of a cake." said Megan.
Tony sat up in Megan's bed. It was not the first time he had been in her bed, but it was the first time where he wasn't on the verge of total sloppiness. He gazed at Megan and thought of what Linda said.
There was silence.
"Give me your dress, Megs." Tony didn't let a hint of humor invade his semantics.
Megan stood and stared at Tony for what seemed like hours. There were plenty of clothes on her floor were he asking for some sort of bandage. And unlike their most famed night, Tony was fully dressed and not drunk in the slightest.
Maybe it was the lack of alcohol, or the things Linda had said, but as Megan untied to backside of her dress, Tony saw a very different girl standing in front of him.
Tony stood up. It was not the first time he had seen her undressed, but it was the first time where the object of his affections was on the receiving end. He gazed at Megan and thought of what Linda said.
"Do you love me, Megs?" Her dress was in his hands, his heart was in hers. Or so it would seem until she replied so well adjustably:
"I don't, Tony."
Day 4: Impressive X Bold
At home, HS-11's indicator light was glowing blue signifying an unheard message. Tony read the log:
Day 1: Status: Complete
Day 2: Status: Complete
Day 3: Status: Complete
Day 4: Status: Incomplete
Day 5: Statue: Pending