Tenderness: A Kink & Showtunes story

Kink & Showtunes #0.5

by Xan West

When Judith gets dumped by her girlfriend, she feels like her world has imploded. It will take the love and care of her queer chosen family, and the support of her best friend Shiloh in particular, to help her cope with the havoc that this break up has wreaked on her life. This chosen family love story illuminates the ways we can find hope amidst devastating change, if we are supported by folks who understand and care for us as we really are.

This chosen family love story is 6,000 words and contains Jewish, bisexual, fat, autistic, non-binary, and chronic pain representation. It is a prequel to Their Troublesome Crush and includes many of the same characters. It was previously published in the anthology Queerly Loving, Volume 2.

Genres: Queer, Disability, LGBT, Jewish, Fiction, Novella, Romance

36 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 24, 2020

About the author

Xan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, an autistic queer fat Jewish genderqueer writer and community activist with multiple disabilities who spends a lot of time on Twitter.

Xan's erotica has been published widely, including in the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Their work has been described by reviewers as “offering the erotica equivalent of happy ever after”, and “some of the best transgressive erotic fiction to come along in recent years”.

Xan’s story “First Time Since”, won honorable mention for the 2008 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award. Their recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, is out from Go Deeper Press, and has been described by M. Christian as “a book that changes what erotica can and should be.”

Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing at https://xanwest.wordpress. com/.

Reviews

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading anything by Xan West always feels like a warm hug. Judith has just been broken up with by her girlfriend of 3 years and she ends up with a migraine and feeling disconnected from her body. Lucky for her, Shiloh, a member of her chosen family, shows up and ze helps her begin the process of healing from the breakup. I loved seeing the whole queer family come to Judith’s place and help her plan where she’s going to live now that Mara has left. I also really appreciated Judith bringing up many f/f stories with a bi woman and a lesbian, the lesbian usually leaves the bisexual because of bisexuality or the bisexual cheats on her girlfriend with a man (aka: playing into all the harmful bi tropes), and wishing for stories where the breakup isn’t related to bisexuality and allows the bisexual to be hurt and express that pain. I also always love the way Xan writes autistic characters; it always feels so validating and comforting.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really love this series and this one, like Their Troublesome Crush is honestly a safe space in book form, and I mean that in the best possible way. I'm glad we got a short with Judith and hope for more in this series.

rep: bisexual, fat, jewish, autistic, nonbinary, chronic pain

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love seeing wonderful rep like this and hope to see more people picking up works like these. This is a short little work about a bisexual autistic female whose lesbian girlfriend dumps her out of the blue, after which her chosen family comes to help her get through. It demonstrates the importance of having loved ones who see you for who you are and help remind you of yourself, and hold you together when you are falling apart. It was wonderful to see the effortless and seamless integration of multiple trans and non binary characters who use different pronouns, showing how normal it can be to integrate a person's proper pronouns into life and move beyond the fake gender binary. As a cis "neurotypical" person I can't speak for much of the rep but I can say I found this book through an own voices review who loved the autism rep. As a queer, polyam, kinky, bisexual woman I loved the rest of the rep, and I can't wait to read this author's other work! In particular, I have their work, Their Troublesome Crush, already purchased and ready to go!

If I have made any errors in my wording, please let me know!

[Robin Mandell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this when it first came out.
Today I reread it after attending the Mourners’ Kaddish for the author. It was even more beautiful and bittersweet in that context.
Both the story and the Kaddish we’re about the power and beauty of found family.

[Littlebookterror · Rating 4 out of 5]

If anyone needs some found family goodness, it's right here.

[Xan]

Hi there, this is the author. I wanted to note that you can find content warnings for this story here:

https://xanwest.wordpress.com/kink-sh...

It is currently available in the anthology Queerly Loving. This will be a stand-alone version of my story only. This story takes place in the Kink & Showtunes universe, prior to the events of Their Troublesome Crush, and involves many of the same characters.

[Isaiah · Rating 5 out of 5]

To see more reviews check out MI Book Reviews.

I got an ARC of this book.

You know what I love about Xan West? Their ability to create world of found family where it is encouraged to be yourself. I just love this series. West always includes trigger warnings that was very specific, down to the chapter that they appear in for common triggers. There is a guide about pronouns in the beginning. There is also a guide for reviewers at the back that explains pronouns for the author (THANK YOU, I always worry that I am assuming a pronoun when I am reviewing and I really want to respect people) and how the gender of the characters are not spoilers. The respect for the trans characters and the effort to educate are really appreciated. I never have to worry about being triggered when it comes to the trans characters.

This is not a romance in the classic sense. The book starts with a break-up. The rest of the book is responding to that break-up. This is a love letter to found families. Found families are so incredibly important for so many people. Trans people in general seem to have a higher need for found family. By the end of West’s books, I always wish I was part of the family. The way they bond with each other, the way they support each other, I just want my life to be so full of love like the characters have.

This story feels a bit different than previous stories by West. West’s voice has changed a bit between the last release and this one. I love seeing authors grow and change, especially when that change is good. I am so impressed by West. I can’t wait to see if this voice change is more permanent or just for this story.

This is just such a feel good story, despite how it starts. Being able to see a character comes back into their own and really take themselves as a priority when they have been hiding who they are for so long just warmed my heart.

[Nicole Field · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although this is now available as a standalone short story now, it was originally printed as part of Queerly Loving in 2017.

I want to start by saying that this is a gorgeously self contained story about a moment of crisis in one person's life, and gives a minor commentary on the state of bisexual characters in fiction. At the same time, gosh I wish it would have been longer.

One of the things I love about Xan's books is that the collection of characters feature across many of the same books. Gideon and Ernest appeared in Their Troublesome Crush, as does Shiloh, who also appears in Eight Kinky Nights.

And I think that's why Judith's short story here manages to be so moving. Because, yes, it is short, but anyone who has been invested in Xan's self published stories is going to come into this one already invested in many of the characters.

This is the story of how Judith comes to live with Gideon and Ernest. It's sad at all the right moments. It's descriptive and evocative. And it allows space for Judith's autism in a way that to me felt very validating.

[Pam Faste aka Peejakers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tenderness is the perfect title for this beautiful, caring-infused story. And as I'm finding to be the case quite often, when it comes to stories by this author, this was an instant comfort read.

Another reviewer said Xan West's stories feel like a warm hug, and I'd have second that too.Their stories just tend to feel so grounding to me, to the point that I chose this one to read today for that very reason, and it was exactly what I needed. It's like you can just kind of sigh and sink into these stories, very similarly to the way in which the main character in this one, Judith, while struggling to come to terms with an emotional crisis, sinks into the things that ground, comfort and support her, and especially into the loving, accepting embrace of her wonderful found family.

Stories that feel like this are a rare and valuable find. ❤❤❤❤❤

[Jamie (TheRebelliousReader) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Fantastic found family in this. I loved all of the characters and just how Queer this is. So many different relationship dynamics and different identities and it was beautiful to see. It's well written and full of heart. A bit emotional but ends in a heartwarming way for Judith. I could definitely see myself reading this again.

[fhmltn · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was a short story about found family coming together after one of theirs is dealing with a sudden breakup. it is an extremely quick read but does not fall short on filling you up with warm fuzzies anyway.

4⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✖️

[Aj · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this because I had Xan West recommended on Tumblr. It was about what I expected.

The writing was wholesome and depicted loving relationships. It was a little too much at times, verging into inauthenticity.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

What if your girlfriend broke up with you and your found family took care of you in the exact ways you needed while respecting who you are as a person? Isn't that a nice?

[Ariel Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome representation

I love this author so much! I love the fat character descriptions and gender representation. This and Their Troublesome Crush were awesome reads!

[pip pipoca]

a needed warm hug

[Abbey · Rating 3 out of 5]

POPSUGAR 2024: An LGBTQ+ romance novel
Read Harder 2024: Read a romance with neurodivergent characters.

[Twitchy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so heartwarming <3

[Moth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a sweet, fluffy story. I loved the amount of representation, and the story was told well in a short time.
CW: toxic relationship; autistic meltdown/shutdown

[Marie M]

I just don't see a Duke professor running out on a month-to-month apartment and leaving herself open to small claims court.

[Camille · Rating 3 out of 5]

Borrowed an electronic copy on Libby through my local library. 3 stars.

Short and sweet, but for some reason, it just didn't hit for me. I felt like the concept would've been better explored in something a little longer, and as it stands, it doesn't do much? To be fair, I think these are sorta going for a Slice of Life type deal, which is a much more sedate storytelling pace by tradition, but... I don't know, it just felt like it was missing something for me.

[Adele · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's true that all of their characters sound the same and are more benevolent than is often realistic to expect of other people. It's true that the prose is clunky in all its inclusivity. But these stories are so soft and validating that I am already sad about not having more of them to read. This one in particular felt cut short. It's a tragedy that Shocking Violet and their other WIPs will never see the light of day. RIP 🕯️