Black Widow: A Sad-Funny Journey Through Grief for People Who Normally Avoid Books with Words Like "Journey" in the Title

by Leslie Gray Streeter

With her signature warmth and hilarity, Leslie Gray Streeter offers us a portrait of widowhood we haven't seen before, one that "will make you laugh and cry, sometimes on the same page" (James Patterson).


In her late thirties, Palm Beach Post columnist Leslie Gray Streeter had finally found her perfect match: Scott. He was Jewish and white; she was Christian and black, but that didn't give them a moment's hesitation. They moved in together, got married, and started the long process of adopting their son, Brooks Robinson Streeter Zervitz, named for Scott's favorite baseball player. Then, out of nowhere, the unthinkable happened. While the couple was sharing a late-night kiss, Scott had a fatal heart attack at the age of 44.



Black Widow is a story about coping with the kind of loss that blindsides you, the kind that can leave you with mascara streaked down your face, barefoot and slugging a bottle of gas station saké in front of a bunch of mourners (yep, Streeter has been there). But it's also a celebration -- of faith, love, and the people who show up when we need them most, who pry the saké away from us and who help us laugh and cry our way through this crazy roller-coaster ride called life.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Grief, Humor, Audiobook, Death, Biography

263 pages, Hardcover

First published March 10, 2020

Reviews

[Lynne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I am the author's twin sister and I am featured in the book. But I only read it in its entirety last week, and Leslie has a way of making stories I know fresh, offering insight into our family that I never considered, and having me rediscover her and my brother in law and nephew. I am biased, yes, but it is am amazing achievement.

[Never Without a Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you’re looking for a good cry, I mean a really good, it’s ok to laugh and cry in the mist of your grief book, then I highly recommend this one. ⁣

https://www.instagram.com/p/B9ib3_NAT...

[Jenna]

i saw this while i was looking for library books and i needed something quick for my drive - mainly i was drawn to this because of the grief aspects of the book - and i was so surprised at how much this moved me! (i cried...a lot...) i found so much comfort in all the passages about grief but i was honestly shocked at how invested i was in the adoption storyline? the author spends a lot of the book talking about how she adopted her son after her husband's death and as someone who doesn't want kids...it was just a weird change of pace for me. and hearing from the perspective of a black woman who is basically forced into being a single mom it was just...a great opportunity to step into someone else's shoes. leslie is so strong and i absolutely loved her narration on the audiobook - i think anyone who's lost someone can find something in this book. definitely recommend!!

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book as an ARC from the author and I’m so glad that I did!!!! I’ve had the pleasure to meet Leslie and the delightful Brooks in person, but I never met Scott. Through this book, I feel like I know him. Leslie channeled the pain of losing her husband into a tale that shows the love they had and what an amazing man and father Scott was. While the subject matter is inherently sad, I laughed as much as I cried. If you want to meet a wonderful, loving family, read this book.

[Kade Gulluscio · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title caught my eye. I mean, I'm for sure someone who normally avoids self-help books or books like this.

But this book may have changed my opinion on them in general. This author was ... amazing. This book was well-written, beautiful, and raw. The author did a great job at telling her story while keeping the reader engaged.

I'd definitely read another book by this author!

[Kelsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’d give it 10 stars if I could. I feel like Leslie is my kindred spirit, and this this the book on grief we all need. Of course not everyone grieves the same way, be her bravery to share her full self and charge head on with the “is this a joke? This can’t be real. You’ve got to be kidding” side some of us feel in grief is all too poignant. Even though we grieve the losses of different people in our lives, her experience is honest and refreshing and comforting.

[Geraldine (geraldinereads) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Books about grief without being too self helpy are hard to come by. I don't like reading self help books in general, but reading memoirs that are grief related have been the best for me. They've all been good so far and this was no exception. What a perfect mix of funny and sad, I couldn't put it down and almost read it in one sitting!

[Moira Allbritton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Witty and tragic and life-affirming and soul-crushing and awesomely inspirational.

[Kariann Farrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

COMING IN MARCH 2020: I received and ARC from the author, and this book is a lovely surprise. A black Baptist woman and a white, bald Jewish man fall in love, get married, and while they're in the process of adopting a baby, the husband dies suddenly of a heart attack. What follows is a from-the-heart, relatable and witty narrative of a mother who has no idea how to navigate through the mire of her grief. Streeter takes those things you say to yourself but never out loud and puts them on paper with a good dose of dark humor. This book touches on racial issues I'd never thought of before (like having to wait til a salon can schedule a stylist who deals with black hair) and interracial marriage, figuring out whose family customs to follow. It indeed takes the proverbial village to raise a widow high enough above her grief that she can see beyond the clouds. A touching story overall; I was crying and laughing along with Streeter throughout. She takes what should be a heavy subject and makes it fun and light reading.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir grabs your heart from the first page, squeezes, and doesn't let go until the last sentence. Streeter has this way of speaking to her audience like she's your closest confidant, and I immediately felt like I had known her for years. The sudden loss of her husband, the story of how they met later in life, and the adoption of their son, was told in a way that was both emotionally gripping and laugh-out-loud funny.

[Christine (Queen of Books) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really heartfelt and engaging. I listened to the author's narration (typically my favorite way to read memoirs) and found that to be well done.

"A sad-funny journey" is an apt descriptor, as this book was both sad and funny - and hopeful. If I'd change anything, it would just be to have more pages. Should Leslie Gray Streeter write another memoir, I'd certainly pick it up.

[Lindsay Nixon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Summaries & reviews posted on @audiobooksreviewed

I’m striking out with memoirs. DNF but I can tell this would be a good book for the right reader. I appreciate her honesty and levity.

I also kept thinking “this is a superior alternative to Plan B”

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly moving. It made me think a lot on long-term relationships, the nature of love, and bogus societal expectations. Plus, deflecting pain with humor is 100% my MO, so I was right there with her.

[Natalie Herr · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick one, with witty writing on grief, widowhood, adoption and other big challenges.

*includes some moderate language and I would note a bit of potentially triggering discussion on weight gain/body image.

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laugh. Cry. Repeat. I enjoyed the process. The author captures the surrealness of grief. Ok, so that's not a word, but you get what I mean if you've been there.

[Jennifer Schultz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read if you: Want a heartbreaking but at times, painfully funny, and honest account of unexpected widowhood.

Leslie Gray Streeter and her husband, Scott, were happily anticipating the formal adoption of their toddler son before the unthinkable happened--Scott suddenly died. Overnight, her world changed forever. Navigating the surreal days of planning his funeral, dealing with massive amounts of attention from loved ones, fearing that this might affect the adoption, going back to work, and trying to explain Scott's absence to their son is all brilliantly and movingly conveyed. Streeter also includes their sweet and beautiful courtship and marriage; as Leslie is African-American and Christian, and Scott was Caucasian and Jewish, this made for some significant differences that were happily bridged by both families. This will definitely tear your heart out, but will also make you crack up at times.

Librarians and booksellers--as most books about widowhood are written with older women in mind/by older women (and usually by Caucasian women)--you should definitely buy this for your customers who may be younger widows, African-American, or women who were unexpectedly widowed.


Many thanks to Little, Brown & Co and NetGalley for a digital review copy in exchange for an honest review.

[Tucker · Rating 5 out of 5]

So funny and profound. About Streeter's husband's sudden death and her attempt to recover; also, about important parts of her story that came before and after, but all the threads of this memoir tie back to the moment when everything changed crucially. "It has to get better," she recites, trying to convince herself. "Because if it doesn’t, and five years from now I’m flinging my loneliness onto strangers whose only sin is not appearing to hurt as much as I think I do..." Don't we all want to crawl out of our traumas and get better? "There has to be a point, right?" she asks herself rhetorically. Most people don't suffer the particular misfortune of unexpectedly losing a spouse around age 40, but this memoir speaks universally insofar as it has a lot to do with how we put losses and frustrations in context and how we "move on" even when we know we'll never "move on." I wager that most people who pick up this journey-that-prefers-not-to-speak-its-name will find passages that speak personally to them.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was like having a wine chat with my beautiful friend Leslie (yes, Leslie the author, she is my friend). I loved it. I laughed. I cried. I miss my friend, and it was so brave to put all of this on paper (yes, physical book reader!) and send it out into the world.

And it made me miss Scott, who was lovely and funny (even if he was a Ravens fan and would get mad when I would bring up how one time, in Atlanta, Ray Lewis helped his friends get away with murder). And he loved my friend Leslie so much. This book is as much a tribute to that as it is a tale of how my strong, funny friend is coping, living and loving their son.

[Shirley Freeman]

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this funny/sad memoir about Leslie Gray Streeter's life, love, and grief after her husband of only 5 or 6 years died suddenly as they were in the process of adopting a beautiful little boy. Leslie Streeter is black and Christian. 'Scotty' was white and Jewish. Streeter's great sense of humor shines through her stories of falling in love a bit later in life, mixing cultures, races, religions and finally becoming parents. She narrates her own book - a nice bonus.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! I never thought I would laugh at a book about a woman journeying through the grief of her husband's death, but Streeter's writing is both poignant and snarkily funny. My only slight issue was it was a touch repetitive towards the end, but its also true to what she was experiencing. Definitely worth reading! 4.5 stars

[Marli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book on a whim from the library and I’m now hugging the book while sitting on the floor crying! She made me laugh and cry and think how lucky I am! This true book is about widowhood, bi-racial marriage, adoption, the Jewish faith, Baptist faith, love, family, and loss. 5 stars for all the feels!

[Jennifer Stringer · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars perhaps? A better-to-laugh-than-to-cry memoir of a first year of widowhood. I can’t imagine doing it with a two year old. God bless.
Take aways...”it’s got to get better or what’s the point?”
I need a Vincent.😕

[Olivia Callahan · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of my favorite parts of this book is how Streeter shows more than just pure misery during her grief. She is human and still has wants and needs. She has funny moments, awkward moments, and is a dynamic person who still has to keep moving through life.

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's weird to call a book about someone's husband dying "a joy", but this book is a joy.

Recommended to anyone who has other humans in their lives that they deeply love.

[Melanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I pre-ordered this book off of Amazon, which I rarely do, but the by-line was so intriguing I had to get it. It was worth the purchase.

This memoir is an emotional rollercoaster in the best way.

The backstory of the author and her husband as individuals, their love story, and their budding family via adoption are equally heart-warming, nail-biting, and hilarious. The author and her husband had a lot in common, but they also respected and celebrated each others differences- even finding the humour in some awkward moments. We saw where they were a team in the trenches of a long adoption process, and we learned of their other struggles and triumphs as they were just entering a new chapter that came to a jarring close.

Intermittently throughout the story we witness the author trying to navigate her new reality while processing the grief over her husband's death. As someone who has experienced deep loss, I could relate to Leslie's subsequent anxiety, frustration, depression, and over-indulgence (food, etc.) while she tries to keep afloat in this new life she never planned to live.

Although the story centers around a tragic event, we are shown that ultimately the sun will shine again. The author is blessed with helpful and supportive friends, family, and co-workers. None of whom are perfect, but they were relatable in that they did the best they could whenever they could.

I came away from reading about this experience feeling the hope for the author's future as well as my own. Would highly recommend to anyone.

[LiteraryMarie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Columnist Leslie Gray Streeter found love in her late thirties. She is Christian and black; Scott was Jewish and white. They fell in love, moved in together, got married and started the process of adopting Brooks, a lovely baby boy. Out of nowhere, Scott had a fatal heart attack at the young age of 44. Life flipped upside down!

My heart goes out to anyone who lost a spouse. I cannot imagine having your soulmate taken unexpectedly. Instead of letting grief take over, Leslie took a different approach to widowhood. From planning a Jewish funeral while being a black Baptist to adopting a son alone and finding hope. This nonfiction book is the story of dealing with loss and celebrating life.

I give a lot of credit to James Patterson. He is one of my favorite authors. So when he offers a blurb, I believe it. According to Patterson, Black Widow is a portrait of widowhood that "will make you laugh and cry, sometimes on the same page." And by gosh, he was right! Leslie Gray Streeter writes about losing her husband in a very candid funny way. It is sad but also really, really funny. Black Widow is the literary example of laugh so you won't cry.

Leslie Gray Streeter talks about her unexpected widowhood like readers are a best friend. She gives it to us straight and holds no thought back. From the first page, it is a no judgment, sympathetic zone. I wanted to reach through the pages to hug her and Brooks but also share a chuckle. It takes a strong brave woman to put her honest feelings to paper. I am not a widow, yet I still found Black Widow to be helpful. I guarantee it is like no other widowhood journey book; hence, I will recommend to any widow I come across because it is that damn good!

Happy Pub Day, Leslie Gray Streeter! Black Widow is now available.

LiteraryMarie

[Sally Kelly1 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful Book for Today
As we end this crazy period of our history - this is an excellent read. It’s about a black Baptist woman married to the love of her life, a white Jewish guy and then he drops dead (when they’re in their early 40s!) and did I mention that they’re in the process of adopting a child as she is processing her grief?!? It may sound morbid, but the author is skillful and upbeat and very, very, funny. She has the gift of being able to observe the absurdities in her crazy life and as the reader we laugh along with her as we gain a deeper understanding of all of these different components of her life.
I highly recommend this book - it’s a fast read - we read it for our Book Group and even invited the author to attend our Zoom discussion. Her positive energy and sense of humor is as authentic on Zoom as it is in her pages. This is a perfect book after we complete a year of COVID; it gives us permission to discover the humor and laugh at the oddities that happen to happen us when misery is around us.

[Kirsti · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking, funny, witty, very affecting memoir about what happens when your husband dies suddenly and unexpectedly right in front of you, leaving you with an infant foster son whom you are in the process of adopting. My only quibble is that the author's face should be visible on the cover because she is beautiful.

Streeter does a great job not only sharing her own story but judiciously protecting the privacy of her friends, relatives, and son. She ends up taking advice from--of all people--Tom Cruise. I had forgotten that Cruise had adopted children with his first wife. When reporters asked Cruise about his son, he said that Connor had his own story, and someday when he was old enough he would decide whether or how much to tell of it, and that it was not Tom Cruise's right to tell that story. Good job, Tom, and good job, Leslie Gray Streeter.

[Alanah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Becoming a widow is hard. Becoming a widow when your dead husband was white and you’re black adds a lot of complicated layers. This book wasn’t all about race, it was mostly about grief. But as someone who works in the “death industry”, I found the stories about race and planning her husbands funeral to be most interesting. These are things I would have never thought about, and I appreciated the lesson.

[Koko · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being a brand new widow myself, I found it validating and comforting that another young widow was awkward with the concept of having a dead husband and shopping for funeral shit. I also found myself relating to other feelings and experiences. It’s rude to have your husband die and not many people understand that.