Admittedly, I came to this memoir not actually super familiar* (I thought) with the music of Tegan and Sara; however, I AM familiar with, not to mention increasingly, foolishly nostalgic for, the experience of being a self-identified alternative 1990s high schooler.
My inner adolescent felt extremely validated at the opportunity to reminisce, for instance, about Nirvana- and Smashing Pumpkins-induced states of bliss (the thrill of cracking open that beautiful, chunky Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness double CD!).
Granted, maybe because I grew up primarily on the other end of the decade than Tegan and Sara did (the end that makes me even older than they now are, and of a perhaps more heavily DARE-influenced developmental trajectory), my own high school experience featured approximately a 200% reduction in drug- and alcohol-induced raptures as compared with theirs. However, the strictly music-oriented ecstasies and other aspects of their 90s high school experience were quite relatable. Above all, this book really makes you feel like you are right there with them in their adolescence, watching episodes play out in real time; it feels as though the teen Tegan and Sara have time travelled from the past to tell you and show you their story.
I love reading about musicians’ passion for music, how it develops and expresses itself and insistently makes itself known to self and other, and in that regard, this book also delivers pretty well, much in the way of Kristen Hersh’s Rat Girl (still a favorite of mine) or Carrie Brownstein’s Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl. Similarly, all three of these books capture the elaborate embrace and entanglement of love and conflict/rivalry that can apparently be found in intense relationships with sisters, best friends, and/or band mates, and which in this book was seemingly intensified and complicated by issues of twinship and simultaneous-yet-separate coming-out journeys.
Indeed, I think it is as a coming-out memoir that this book most succeeds (another favorite in this and recent years is Too Much is Not Enough by Andrew Rannells). In particular, for me, in a poignant episode, the book captured concisely and beautifully how Nirvana and Kurt Cobain in particular served as LGBTQ advocates and allies during a critical transitional time. The book also captures passionate and supportive friendships between a network of young women (and a couple of enlightened, Cobain-esque young men), and the beauty, power, confusion and sadness inherent in the madness of sorting out one’s sexual and gender identities within the hormonal maelstrom of all this.
The other really spellbinding aspect of this book for me was reading about the sheer, untaught, naturally outpouring musical prodigiousness that Tegan and Sara, also like their icon Kurt, seemingly possessed.** I don’t want to spoil too much about how Tegan and Sara initially transition from bus riding, suburban door-slamming, oversized Value Village hoodie-wearing kids to musical superstars and icons, but it really does read like a marvelous yet grounded fairytale. In particular, the evolution of and interaction between their connection/communication style as twins and their style and form of musical collaboration was really fascinating, and also well echoed in the back-and-forth alternating narrative chapters of the memoir that seamlessly build upon and enhance one another. I guess this must have been one of the factors that either empowered or compelled me to read this book in one sitting, overnight: something that I hardly ever do and which many other reviews here also mention.
Finally, as I’ve already discussed at length in my review of the Brownstein book, while I hate being and getting older, one consolation is that I will forever be in love with the “DIY” aspects of alternative 90s coming of age, and this book captures well the worthy effort we had to make in the interest of entertaining and expressing ourselves. No Kylie memes of the week here: just snagging that last Mellon Collie CD before the store sold out, coming up with actual cash to fork over to do that, hours of copying music from the radio or other people’s cassettes onto your own, drawing and photocopying and hand lettering to make your own cassette covers, and allll those endless trips to Value Village to acquire all those voluminous hoodies and striped sweaters... waiting in line at the record store for Green Day tickets made of actual paper, surviving the mosh pit thereof, folding and passing all those school notes, sharing those land line phones with their spirally cords stretched out under bedroom doors... and calling answering machine recordings to find the secret weekly location of a rave!
Not to sound too “I walked ten miles through knee deep snow in my bare feet to get to school” about it, but it’s true: I would sometimes like to be young(er) again (and not much has made me feel as old as acknowledging that Tegan and Sara, somehow eternally adolescent in my mind, are now basically 40) - but not enough to give up the muddied, frayed, second hand straight leg jean hems of my walkabout, hands on, Doc Marten boots on ground, rode hard and put away wet 90s sort of coming of age - which is now beautifully immortalized in this book among others I’ve mentioned.
*I listened to a lot of Tegan and Sara on Spotify (see, I do like some things about it no longer being the 90s) after writing this, and I discovered that I was actually more familiar with their music than I realized, and also that their catalog of music as a whole is awesome, and fully complements/is complemented by the experience of reading their memoir, so do check it out! Their new album, “Hey, I’m Just Like You,” features reworked songs that they wrote between the ages of 15-18, found on old cassettes unearthed during research for this book (see my ** note below!), and that are mentioned in the book, and it’s a very cool concept: according to them, they wanted to transform them into songs that they could not have fully created either as teens or as adults.
**The Audible audiobook also features samples of the earliest recordings that Tegan and Sara made at home and school when they were beginning to create and perform original music! Amazing. What the hell was I doing when I was 15?!