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Rules for the Unruly: Living an Unconventional Life

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Rules for the Unruly is a distillation of surprising life wisdom from National Public Radio commentator and writer Marion Winik -- a woman who has seen it all, done it all, and would never exchange her experiences for the security of a traditional life. Winik's amusing tales of outrageous mistakes, haunting uncertainty, and the never-ending struggle to stay true to her heart strike a powerful chord with creative, impassioned, independent-minded free spirits who know they're different -- and want to stay that way.
Winik's seven Rules for the Unruly
THE PATH IS NOT STRAIGHT · MISTAKES NEED NOT BE FATAL
PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ACHIEVEMENTS OR POSSESSIONS
BE GENTLE WITH YOUR PARENTS · NEVER STOP DOING WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT MOST
LEARN TO USE A SEMICOLON · YOU WILL FIND LOVE

Rules for the Unruly shows us how taking risks, living creatively, and cherishing our inner weirdness can become the secret of our happiness and success, not our downfall.

192 pages, Paperback

First published April 10, 2001

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About the author

Marion Winik

24 books96 followers
Longtime All Things Considered commentator Marion Winik is the author of First Comes Love, The Glen Rock Book of the Dead and seven other books. The Baltimore Book of the Dead is forthcoming from Counterpoint this fall. Her award-winning column on BaltimoreFishbowl.com appears monthly, and her essays have been published in The New York Times Magazine, The Sun and elsewhere. She is the host of The Weekly Reader radio show and podcast and reviews books for Newsday, People, and Kirkus Review. She is a board member of the National Book Critics Circle and a professor in the MFA program at the University of Baltimore. More info at marionwinik.com.

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5 stars
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50 (41%)
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29 (23%)
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6 (4%)
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
Profile Image for Travel Writing.
333 reviews27 followers
December 11, 2015
I bought this book while I was considering returning to Antarctica. I was tickled to see a woman my age writing about unconventional living.
Only she is a middle class broad with kids living with her husband. This is not by any stretch unconventional. In fact, I am pretty sure by the widest of standards- she is very, very conventional.

The book was fleshed out from a speech she gave at her high school for recipients of the Spartan Scholar Award. The speech centered around "what do I know now that I wished I had known then?" Pretty much standard fodder for all adults having to make a speech to teenagers. She came up with 7 topics to build her speech around.

I purchased the book hoping to get some insight to someone who is actually living an eccentric life. This book is one story after another of a very conventional life.
She did drugs!
Most of us did in the 80's.
She slept with a plethora of men, made really bad decisions, had abortions, drank a lot, made very little money, and married a man who may have been not the best choice!
And you just described almost every woman in her twenties that I know.
And quite a few into their 30's and 40's.

This is a book written for teenagers.
Not for 40 year old people looking to sell everything and move to the South Pole. Because Marion would know nothing about that. That is unconventional. Marion is raising kids in her 40's. That is standard, or at least what society expects.

I did like her pacing and use of words, so I am going to read some of her other work, but I would not suggest this to anyone looking for validation for unorthodox life choices. This book is mainstream validation for parents that most kids will stop getting high, settle down, use their degree, and have kids- maybe not till they are 32, but they will get on the hamster wheel at some point.
Unless you're my parents. No validation for you!
Profile Image for Ellen Pilch.
Author 3 books18 followers
June 16, 2019
I found this book very boring and too wordy. Despite that, I kept reading until one part disgusted me. She writes of watching her friend's cat and how the cat disappears immediately. She finds it( I can't recall if it was male or female) after quite some time and it is in rough condition. She claims to have tried to feed it and tidy it up for several days. Then she brings it to the vet where it promptly dies. Why didn't she take it to the vet right away? Why is she making this into a humorous essay? There is nothing humorous about that. Now I don't want to read anything she has written because I think anyone that treats a cat like that is a bad person.
4 reviews
August 30, 2022
Easy read, definitely puts a bit more pep in my step. Will probably pick it up again right before the new year (though time is a construct).
Profile Image for GoldenjoyBazyll.
414 reviews24 followers
March 13, 2010
This is a book that really gets one thinking.The author decided to write this missive after making a presentaion to students at the high school she graduated from 25 years ago. She frames the book in such a way as to use 7 rules to live by. I thought her tact was a very interezting one aned I stard thinking about what I would reommend as my 7. Here is what I came up with.

1. The Path is definately not straight. It really is those twists and turns that define where the path leads. I would not have missed a one.... challeging... confusing.... scarry and FUN- all have led me to this wonderful moment in time.

2. Never let thm see you sweat....s good deoderant helps but.... if you can hold it together in he face of adversity... calm and rational get you farther. For the unruly sometimes we get into sticky situations and it is what we do- how we handle the situatons- that matters most.

3. Pain is optional!!!!! You will encounter many situations in life... the question is will you choose to go with the flow or add yeast and let the aggrivatiot rise. If you can view the most adverse of situations as temporary and a learning experience you will get through them easier. Of course sometimes this is easier said than done but a good thing to aspire to.

4. Put people first.... Family, friends and pets but most importantly YOU. Work and "stuff" is important but as the author indicates... when all has been said and done- they won't be there to hug you in times of trouble or joy. Love- kindness- honesty- and reaching out to help each other is what it is all about. Of course.... also as the author points out... you must love yourself first before you can't be of any use to everyone else if you are not together. Sometimes in life we have to make decisions that put us before all others. This is hard but a mature step in life. If we do not take care of ourselves first we cannot really be there for anyone else. Ever wonder why on planes they say if oxygen masks need to be used and your are traveling with a child- aduts put yours on first????

5. Never miss a moment to experience joy. Dance in the rain in your evening gown and get soaked..... travel to a distant land and meet someone tall dark and handsome- even if it is only an elephant..... Pet a dog... look at a newborns tiny fingers and toes.... never miss a chance to tell the people you care about that you love them. These are the ingredients of creating a life of joy!

6. Moderation is key. As a lover of all things fattening and chocolate I have learned tht too much of a good thing stops it from being special. You do not have to use it all up in one setting.... spead it out and savor every last minute but do not put anything away for a rainy day because.... that day may never come.

7. Strive to be happy...there will be many things that try to drive you crazy.... don't let those negative influences rob you of a moment of this life if you possibly can.

In the desiderata it says "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars, you have a right to be here. And whether it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should." even for the unruly!
Profile Image for Paul.
63 reviews6 followers
July 17, 2008
A writer tells her story of finding her way from high school in the 1970's through middle age via drugs, sex, religion, relationships, and children. Expectations about what life's about and how that's transformed through our experiences and the lessons learned along the way is what she passes onto her readers.
Profile Image for Casey Emerson.
26 reviews5 followers
June 9, 2008
Written by a true rebel herself, the author talks about how to make your way through the world when you are seen as unconventional or rebel. Advice for making your own path and not compromising on your values and beliefs. Written with a sense of humor ; )
Profile Image for Gerry LaFemina.
Author 41 books69 followers
July 23, 2014
Part memoir, part self help book, part glorified graduation speech this book has a lot of humor and a lot of advice we've heard plenty of times before. But Winik has a winning voice and terrific sense of the semi colon, which goes a long way.
9 reviews
November 20, 2008
A touching and at times very humorous account of one woman's path through life. I like her style of writing.
Profile Image for Laura.
667 reviews6 followers
May 20, 2011
A fun, readable, book of advice presented primarily as a collection of memoir-type stories. Geared for older teens, but with wisdom inside for all ages
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews