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The Last Final Girl #1
Escape from Happydale: The Last Final Girl
At the end of every horror movie, one girl always survives the deadly slasher… In this case, Parker Ames not only survives, she turns the tables and dedicates her life to hunting and destroying the monsters that stalk slumber parties and campsites all across the country.
Ten years after the horrific events known as the Massacre at Coffin Bay, Parker’s world has been flipped totally upside down. She’s no longer the nerdy teenage girl who would run and hide from the things that go bump in the night. Now Parker is the thing that goes bump in the night.
After years of traveling the country and hunting some of the world’s most dangerous slashers, Parker returns home when she hears that Hurricane Williams, the deranged slasher who slaughtered her family, has resurfaced and continued his killing spree. Armed with her trusty chain saw, affectionately named Aerosmith, she sets out on a path of revenge and redemption.
Ten years after the horrific events known as the Massacre at Coffin Bay, Parker’s world has been flipped totally upside down. She’s no longer the nerdy teenage girl who would run and hide from the things that go bump in the night. Now Parker is the thing that goes bump in the night.
After years of traveling the country and hunting some of the world’s most dangerous slashers, Parker returns home when she hears that Hurricane Williams, the deranged slasher who slaughtered her family, has resurfaced and continued his killing spree. Armed with her trusty chain saw, affectionately named Aerosmith, she sets out on a path of revenge and redemption.
286 pages, Paperback
First published July 23, 2019
121 people are currently reading
809 people want to read
About the author
Jack Quaid
19 books40 followersBetween the years 1980 and 1999, American novelist Jack Quaid produced a series of fun and wild stories where anything could happen, and with Quaid behind the typewriter, they usually did. He called these books his Electric Mayhem series.
Jack Quaid was born in West Hollywood, California, in 1953. He won a scholarship to UCLA but dropped out after six months for a reason that, to this day, remains unknown. Two years later, he sold his first short story to Startling Mystery Magazine, but it was the publication of his novel The City on the Edge of Tomorrow in 1980 and the film adaptation starring Bruce Dern that set him on his way.
Fearing his initial success would fade, Quaid wrote obsessively for the next two decades and published under many pseudonyms. It’s unknown just how many books he produced during this period, but despite the name on the jacket, savvy readers always knew they were reading a Jack Quaid novel within the first few pages.
His books have long been out of print, and they now live on the dusty shelves of secondhand bookstores and in the memories of those who have been lucky enough to read them.
Quaid’s current whereabouts are unknown.
Jack Quaid was born in West Hollywood, California, in 1953. He won a scholarship to UCLA but dropped out after six months for a reason that, to this day, remains unknown. Two years later, he sold his first short story to Startling Mystery Magazine, but it was the publication of his novel The City on the Edge of Tomorrow in 1980 and the film adaptation starring Bruce Dern that set him on his way.
Fearing his initial success would fade, Quaid wrote obsessively for the next two decades and published under many pseudonyms. It’s unknown just how many books he produced during this period, but despite the name on the jacket, savvy readers always knew they were reading a Jack Quaid novel within the first few pages.
His books have long been out of print, and they now live on the dusty shelves of secondhand bookstores and in the memories of those who have been lucky enough to read them.
Quaid’s current whereabouts are unknown.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
September 18, 2019
Tattoo parlors, Denny's, and the Amazon Kindle store: three places where bad decisions are made late at night.
This book has at least one interesting idea in it: it posits that slashers, like Jason Voorhees of 'Friday the 13th' or Michael Myers of 'Halloween' are monsters like vampires or zombies. When someone evil and hateful enough dies with their bile unspent, they rise from the grave to stalk and kill again, with nothing short of beheading capable of laying them to rest. I'm not even sure this is a particularly original idea, but it was interesting.
Unfortunately, that's as far as the author's creativity extends. The book is about Parker Ames, a 'final girl' (please, horror community, let's bury this term; at this point it feels like it's lost any meaning it ever had) targeted by a slasher who is taken in by ANOTHER final girl turned hunter of slashers. This mentor figure drives a muscle car, wears leather, has an eye patch, and is described as looking like a female Snake Plissken [ugh]. Parker learns to kill effortlessly with a variety of edged weapons, but most enjoys her "customized" black chainsaw, which she names Aerosmith [ugh again]. Parker has to save YET ANOTHER final girl, targeted by the same slasher who targeted her, despite the psychiatrist determined to put her back behind bars and the small town cops who don't know what they're up against. Despite Parker's array of deadly skills, she spends most of the book running scared and asking people to give her a machete.
The writing is pretty bad. Cliche-ridden, repetitive, and badly-structured. At least twice the flow of the action is interrupted to provide backstory on a character who is killed dead as soon as we've learned enough about them to feel some pathos--or at least, we might feel pathos if the characters existed for more than two pages. The writing is also technically poor in spots--dropped words, bad grammar, etc. I know self-publishing is supposed to remove barriers between artists and the audience, but maybe a little editing wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
And finally...the book opens with an introduction by "Luke Preston," who claims that he's produced a novelization of a film script he found written by "Jack Quaid," an author of over-the-top '80s splatterpunk novels who is now largely forgotten. Preston lists a number of Quaid novels he's loved over the years and raves about how no one goes to the same insane depths as Quaid. The problem is that it's all a gag: as far as I can tell, no author named Jack Quaid has ever existed, and none of the books mentioned are real. It's a gag which I guess is intended to make this book seem like something other than a crappy, slasher knock-off. And what's the point? This isn't like 'The Blair Witch Project,' where the movie is creepier because you think it might be real. This is one author pretending to be another author in order to invoke some of the excitement of finding something awesome in a used bookstore, when it's actually crap dumped on Kindle Unlimited for chumps like me shopping for something fun to read late at night. Adding insult to injury, the author uses the form of a script adaptation to justify a 'missing scene' late in the novel where the pages of the script were apparently removed. And really, what could the possible point of that even be? If this was really a novelization of a film script, wouldn't 'Luke Preston' have tried to fill in the missing scene as best he could, rather than flagging it as missing and leaving the reader to imagine what happened? It's a dumb gag that exists only for the sake of being a gag, and it irritated me even though I ought to be glad at having been spared from reading more of this dreck.
Not recommended. You could watch almost literally any slasher film produced 1979-1997 and get more originality and quality than this.
This book has at least one interesting idea in it: it posits that slashers, like Jason Voorhees of 'Friday the 13th' or Michael Myers of 'Halloween' are monsters like vampires or zombies. When someone evil and hateful enough dies with their bile unspent, they rise from the grave to stalk and kill again, with nothing short of beheading capable of laying them to rest. I'm not even sure this is a particularly original idea, but it was interesting.
Unfortunately, that's as far as the author's creativity extends. The book is about Parker Ames, a 'final girl' (please, horror community, let's bury this term; at this point it feels like it's lost any meaning it ever had) targeted by a slasher who is taken in by ANOTHER final girl turned hunter of slashers. This mentor figure drives a muscle car, wears leather, has an eye patch, and is described as looking like a female Snake Plissken [ugh]. Parker learns to kill effortlessly with a variety of edged weapons, but most enjoys her "customized" black chainsaw, which she names Aerosmith [ugh again]. Parker has to save YET ANOTHER final girl, targeted by the same slasher who targeted her, despite the psychiatrist determined to put her back behind bars and the small town cops who don't know what they're up against. Despite Parker's array of deadly skills, she spends most of the book running scared and asking people to give her a machete.
The writing is pretty bad. Cliche-ridden, repetitive, and badly-structured. At least twice the flow of the action is interrupted to provide backstory on a character who is killed dead as soon as we've learned enough about them to feel some pathos--or at least, we might feel pathos if the characters existed for more than two pages. The writing is also technically poor in spots--dropped words, bad grammar, etc. I know self-publishing is supposed to remove barriers between artists and the audience, but maybe a little editing wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
And finally...the book opens with an introduction by "Luke Preston," who claims that he's produced a novelization of a film script he found written by "Jack Quaid," an author of over-the-top '80s splatterpunk novels who is now largely forgotten. Preston lists a number of Quaid novels he's loved over the years and raves about how no one goes to the same insane depths as Quaid. The problem is that it's all a gag: as far as I can tell, no author named Jack Quaid has ever existed, and none of the books mentioned are real. It's a gag which I guess is intended to make this book seem like something other than a crappy, slasher knock-off. And what's the point? This isn't like 'The Blair Witch Project,' where the movie is creepier because you think it might be real. This is one author pretending to be another author in order to invoke some of the excitement of finding something awesome in a used bookstore, when it's actually crap dumped on Kindle Unlimited for chumps like me shopping for something fun to read late at night. Adding insult to injury, the author uses the form of a script adaptation to justify a 'missing scene' late in the novel where the pages of the script were apparently removed. And really, what could the possible point of that even be? If this was really a novelization of a film script, wouldn't 'Luke Preston' have tried to fill in the missing scene as best he could, rather than flagging it as missing and leaving the reader to imagine what happened? It's a dumb gag that exists only for the sake of being a gag, and it irritated me even though I ought to be glad at having been spared from reading more of this dreck.
Not recommended. You could watch almost literally any slasher film produced 1979-1997 and get more originality and quality than this.
December 29, 2022
This fake 80s horror novel is an entertaining read. At first, there are some hoops to jump through, a fictional author is established and we’re told this is a lost slasher classic from a reclusive pulp writer. But I needn’t have been confused, because once it sets in it’s like when (us elderlies might remember) on the tv show Xena: The Warrior Princess, everybody would talk like it’s modern times with light comic anachronism. It’s pretty obvious this is a modern writer, complete with frequent “Well, that was awkward” Joss Whedonisms. Also, I’m certain the term final girl wasn’t coined until the 90s.
It’s fun though. Set in the 80s, a badass teen girl is trained to be some sort of slasher villain monster hunter. Her experience of dispatching a few dozen unstoppable creeps is put to the test one night in a small town where she meets a particularly brutal undead killing machine. It’s fast-paced, there’s lots of action, the prose has a light touch with humor and some corny jokes. I’ll continue the series, but it’s also a little light and goofy to really take seriously. Honestly, there’s some tv show potential here, as the premise does a good job of escalating slasher villains into something more like rampaging cryptids. There are some gory parts, but overall really not as brutal as the introduction leads you to expect. Characterization is pretty strong too. There’s a nice chainsaw fight, that’s always fun to see.
It’s fun though. Set in the 80s, a badass teen girl is trained to be some sort of slasher villain monster hunter. Her experience of dispatching a few dozen unstoppable creeps is put to the test one night in a small town where she meets a particularly brutal undead killing machine. It’s fast-paced, there’s lots of action, the prose has a light touch with humor and some corny jokes. I’ll continue the series, but it’s also a little light and goofy to really take seriously. Honestly, there’s some tv show potential here, as the premise does a good job of escalating slasher villains into something more like rampaging cryptids. There are some gory parts, but overall really not as brutal as the introduction leads you to expect. Characterization is pretty strong too. There’s a nice chainsaw fight, that’s always fun to see.
October 3, 2020
Hmmm... maybe I was expecting too much?
I am a horror fan! I especially love the slasher mythology.
The problem here was two-fold: with a build up of a mix between Tarantino and King, you already have high expectations. I went into this book thinking that just maybe, I found a replica of Laymon stories. Nope!
The other issue is that I would have probably enjoyed this more if the year was 1980 and I was 12. Reading this in 2020, just felt like I was revisiting every popular 1980s slasher I have ever watched. There was nothing new. It ultimately felt like a rip-off of Jason from Friday the 13th, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Halloween mixed together.
It wasn’t bad, per se, but the best way I can put it is “meh”. Truly disappointed and I think the build up and nostalgia were the culprits. Still haven’t found an author to carry Laymon’s legacy. Now, he is an author who provided a mix of Tarantino, Da Palma, and King all rolled into one!
I am a horror fan! I especially love the slasher mythology.
The problem here was two-fold: with a build up of a mix between Tarantino and King, you already have high expectations. I went into this book thinking that just maybe, I found a replica of Laymon stories. Nope!
The other issue is that I would have probably enjoyed this more if the year was 1980 and I was 12. Reading this in 2020, just felt like I was revisiting every popular 1980s slasher I have ever watched. There was nothing new. It ultimately felt like a rip-off of Jason from Friday the 13th, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Halloween mixed together.
It wasn’t bad, per se, but the best way I can put it is “meh”. Truly disappointed and I think the build up and nostalgia were the culprits. Still haven’t found an author to carry Laymon’s legacy. Now, he is an author who provided a mix of Tarantino, Da Palma, and King all rolled into one!
December 3, 2024
Honestly I did not know what to expect from this one but I thought it could be a fun slasher set in the 80s and that is exactly what I got.
The book sets up a story at the beginning about the origins of the novel. This is so well done, I was not sure if it was true or not. However when the novel started, I realized that based on the writing style, tropes, etc this was all a work of fiction, including the introduction. But what a fun thing to do.
In this book you will have fast paced short chapters full of action and told through multiple POVs that keep the story interesting and also create this small town slasher tale that we all love.
Everyone has secrets but nobody deserves to be butchered by a slasher. Well, maybe a couple of them did have it coming.
There are many slasher tropes that are going to please horror fans and there is plenty of blood and gore for those that like their slashers extra spicy.
If you love horror slasher books and movies, this book is going to be such a delight to read for you. I am definitely going to pick up the next book.
The book sets up a story at the beginning about the origins of the novel. This is so well done, I was not sure if it was true or not. However when the novel started, I realized that based on the writing style, tropes, etc this was all a work of fiction, including the introduction. But what a fun thing to do.
In this book you will have fast paced short chapters full of action and told through multiple POVs that keep the story interesting and also create this small town slasher tale that we all love.
Everyone has secrets but nobody deserves to be butchered by a slasher. Well, maybe a couple of them did have it coming.
There are many slasher tropes that are going to please horror fans and there is plenty of blood and gore for those that like their slashers extra spicy.
If you love horror slasher books and movies, this book is going to be such a delight to read for you. I am definitely going to pick up the next book.
December 21, 2019
Stephen King meets Quentin Tarantino - they claim. Not too far off the mark with that description. Guts and gore. 80s slasher hunter slapstick. Good, fun read.
October 20, 2024
A campy horror slasher that tries (and fails) to respark the nostalgia of '80s horror. It goes to great lengths to depict gore, leaving good storytelling and coherent structure in the dust as a result. Much of the writing is repetitive and lacks polish, and action scenes are poorly conveyed. If I had written this, I, too, would have created a fictional writer pen name to hide myself behind.
September 8, 2019
To quote another reviewer of this book, “maybe a little editing wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”
The promotional push, that the books by Jack Quaid represent the fevered work of a crazy writer from the 80s, is almost the most original thing about “Escape From Happydale.” Like the story itself even that is not terribly original. The story takes its cues from the comic book “hack/slash,” and television like “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” The dialogue is far too modern (“what the actual hell?”) to be from an author writing in the era of the early 80s.
Lack of originality wouldn’t be the end of the world if the writing and characters were more consistently witty and fun. But the book is marred by typos, dropped words and errant grammar. These editorial errors aren’t constant, but even a little goes a long way toward knocking the reader out of the story. Some of “Quaid’s “ writing is also repetitive and leans heavily on cliche.
That isn’t to say I didn’t have a good time reading the book. It was fun in the way that lesser slasher movies are fun. If you have a beach and you want some reading that will entertain you for a couple of hours and that you won’t feel bad about forgetting the moment you delete it from your kindle library this is a great book. If you are looking for depth, originality and decent copy editing, move along.
The promotional push, that the books by Jack Quaid represent the fevered work of a crazy writer from the 80s, is almost the most original thing about “Escape From Happydale.” Like the story itself even that is not terribly original. The story takes its cues from the comic book “hack/slash,” and television like “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” The dialogue is far too modern (“what the actual hell?”) to be from an author writing in the era of the early 80s.
Lack of originality wouldn’t be the end of the world if the writing and characters were more consistently witty and fun. But the book is marred by typos, dropped words and errant grammar. These editorial errors aren’t constant, but even a little goes a long way toward knocking the reader out of the story. Some of “Quaid’s “ writing is also repetitive and leans heavily on cliche.
That isn’t to say I didn’t have a good time reading the book. It was fun in the way that lesser slasher movies are fun. If you have a beach and you want some reading that will entertain you for a couple of hours and that you won’t feel bad about forgetting the moment you delete it from your kindle library this is a great book. If you are looking for depth, originality and decent copy editing, move along.
January 22, 2020
A nice throw back type of book for all the slicers and dicers of the 80's. All those poor females who survived those viscous slashers get their comeuppance. Trained to take vengeance on the butcher who killed her family, Parker Ames escapes an asylum to do just that.
I thought this was going to be a little more serious than it was. Although the silly bits helped this along in it's own way. The one thing I really disliked was the missing chapter device. That was just plain dumb in my opinion. Without it, I believe this could of been a lot better.
I thought this was going to be a little more serious than it was. Although the silly bits helped this along in it's own way. The one thing I really disliked was the missing chapter device. That was just plain dumb in my opinion. Without it, I believe this could of been a lot better.
April 26, 2022
"Sometimes a man is filled with so much evil that not even hell wants him. They stay in our world. They hunt, and they kill. They're stronger than we are, and they don't feel any pain. And they don't ever, and I mean ever, give up... They wander the earth, killing whoever they think has wronged them."
After Parker Ames watched her parents get butchered in front of her eyes, by slasher Hurricane Williams, she is taken under the wing of veteran slasher-hunter Delores McCormick, who immediately begins teaching Parker the ins and outs of killing slashers.
Out of revenge for her parents, Parker vows to track down Hurricane Williams and use her new skills to exterminate him once and for all. For the new slasher-hunting duo, McCormick and Parker, all goes well for the next few years, as they travel the world, taking care of any monsters they come across - until one night, McCormick is killed in battle.
On her own, Parker continues on with her mission of hunting Hurricane Williams, and saving the lives of potential slasher victims along the way.
There's obviously a lot more to the story, but that's all I'll say in order to avoid any spoilers. So, I definitely liked this book; I'm glad there are two more. I don't really understand what all the mediocre reviews are about, to be honest. If you like B horror movies, I think you'll like this book, too. The only thing I didn't care for was the authors use of humor; it just didn't work for me. It would have been way better if it had just been more serious. Other than that little critique, I enjoyed it. Plus an awesome cover, you can't go wrong.
After Parker Ames watched her parents get butchered in front of her eyes, by slasher Hurricane Williams, she is taken under the wing of veteran slasher-hunter Delores McCormick, who immediately begins teaching Parker the ins and outs of killing slashers.
Out of revenge for her parents, Parker vows to track down Hurricane Williams and use her new skills to exterminate him once and for all. For the new slasher-hunting duo, McCormick and Parker, all goes well for the next few years, as they travel the world, taking care of any monsters they come across - until one night, McCormick is killed in battle.
On her own, Parker continues on with her mission of hunting Hurricane Williams, and saving the lives of potential slasher victims along the way.
There's obviously a lot more to the story, but that's all I'll say in order to avoid any spoilers. So, I definitely liked this book; I'm glad there are two more. I don't really understand what all the mediocre reviews are about, to be honest. If you like B horror movies, I think you'll like this book, too. The only thing I didn't care for was the authors use of humor; it just didn't work for me. It would have been way better if it had just been more serious. Other than that little critique, I enjoyed it. Plus an awesome cover, you can't go wrong.
February 25, 2020
The ultimate 80s slasher in book format. This novel could have been a poorly written, utterly cheesy bit of pulp best to be forgotten. Yet, it is anything but. Rather than give in to the pulp at the heart of the story, Quaid's writing revels in it. He understood exactly what his source material was and instead of just chugging through it, he actually put quality writing on the page as he lovingly paid homage to the slasher tale. This was a tremendously fun, enjoyable read and I look forward to more of Quaid's work.
September 2, 2019
Escape from happydale is a fun homage to the campy slasher films of the 80's. It's got a frame device that claims it's a recently discovered manuscript from a lost 80's author named Jack Quaid, which is nonsense but kind of funny. I enjoyed the light romp through what could easily have been a movie hosted by Joe Bob Briggs on MonsterVision. Complete with one-liners, a final girl, and 80's style cheesiness, Escape From Happydale is a fun trip down memory lane to the video store VHS slashers of my childhood. The writing is a bit rough and could have been cleaned up with a good proofing or read-through by an editor, but it kinda fits the overall motif... You read this like a fun, low-budget slasher and you expect a rough, dog-eared paperback with wear lines all along the spine. Bottom line: it's a very self aware and unique nod to 80's horror that does not take itself seriously and has a great cover that tells the reader exactly what it's trying to be.
August 18, 2020
PSA to horror fans who love 80s slashers: Read this book, it's so much fun! I loved how over the top and brutal this story was. One warning though, there is a disclaimer at the beginning of the book letting you know that some chapters are missing and editing is shoddy since this is a "found" work, so just be aware of that. Other than that, I'm definitely going to be reading the rest of the trilogy.
May 27, 2025
2.5 stars rounded up.
So… was this a good book? No. Was it entertaining for someone like me who loves to watch B horror movies? Yes. So if you like terrible horror movies, or just the run of the mill slasher storyline, then this book is for you. It was a quick read for sure, but you will find yourself saying “really?” out-loud a lot. It’s not life changing, it’s not making anything or one better. It just is what it is, and it promises not to be anything different.
So… was this a good book? No. Was it entertaining for someone like me who loves to watch B horror movies? Yes. So if you like terrible horror movies, or just the run of the mill slasher storyline, then this book is for you. It was a quick read for sure, but you will find yourself saying “really?” out-loud a lot. It’s not life changing, it’s not making anything or one better. It just is what it is, and it promises not to be anything different.
February 3, 2025
I was a little disappointed by this. It felt very average. I felt like I wanted more, I’m going to give the rest of the series a shot and hopefully it will grow on me or I’m hoping it will!
January 18, 2020
Fun 80's Throwback
This was a ridiculously fun quick read that anyone who loves 80's horror will get a kick out of. I'm not sure how some of the other reviewers read the story description and expected Serious Literature. It's non-stop action with just-short-of-silly absurdity, plus lots of dead bodies.
I think the Stephen King/Tarantino blurb definitely does it a disservice (the only thing it has in common with King is the genre and there aren't long conversations about nothing with a focus on feet). I'd describe it more as Buffy Goes Grindhouse By Way Of Carpenter And Raimi. Basically a badass chick fighting unkillable boogeymen with blood and body parts flying (she has a chainsaw named Aerosmith!!!).
Yes, the whole "missing author/found manuscript" shtick is a little silly, but it channeled old pulp novels pretty well. And it also reminded me of when Harold the Dog left manuscripts for his editor in James Howe's Bunnicula series (which I will never be too old to re-read).
I read this all in one sitting and plan to read the sequel.
This was a ridiculously fun quick read that anyone who loves 80's horror will get a kick out of. I'm not sure how some of the other reviewers read the story description and expected Serious Literature. It's non-stop action with just-short-of-silly absurdity, plus lots of dead bodies.
I think the Stephen King/Tarantino blurb definitely does it a disservice (the only thing it has in common with King is the genre and there aren't long conversations about nothing with a focus on feet). I'd describe it more as Buffy Goes Grindhouse By Way Of Carpenter And Raimi. Basically a badass chick fighting unkillable boogeymen with blood and body parts flying (she has a chainsaw named Aerosmith!!!).
Yes, the whole "missing author/found manuscript" shtick is a little silly, but it channeled old pulp novels pretty well. And it also reminded me of when Harold the Dog left manuscripts for his editor in James Howe's Bunnicula series (which I will never be too old to re-read).
I read this all in one sitting and plan to read the sequel.
December 23, 2022
A generally enjoyable slasher, and a real quick book to read. The way the story started I didn’t think 5-stars would be enough… Unfortunately, after the opening scene the book immediately settles into a pattern of way too much backstory… and backstory about characters that would be immediately killed… and backstory about the significant others of characters that were immediately killed… it was all too much.
I’m giving it a 4 because overall it was still a fun read, and 3.76 isn’t an option.
I’m giving it a 4 because overall it was still a fun read, and 3.76 isn’t an option.
August 19, 2020
This is a tough one to review. The concept is fantastic, and gives it automatic stars. Sadly, the writing itself doesn't hold up. In fact, it's lack of polish and style is made even more glaring by the ridiculous Jack Quaid, underground master storyteller, framing device. This odd choice builds up expectations that the prose just does not meet.
July 22, 2019
This story is by the best 80s horror author you've never heard of before. I really enjoyed the fact that Parker turned the tables on the bad guys. Fast-paced and action-packed, I couldn't put it down. If you love Stephen King, then this is the book for you.
March 11, 2020
4/5
THE LAST FINAL GIRL: ESCAPE FROM HAPPYDALE is a homage to 80s slasher movies that I very much enjoyed. It is a quick, solid, and entertaining read that has an interesting (albeit unnecessary) gimmick that makes me want to read the rest of the series. It is also a story that I am going to read the sequels too and probably pick up the omnibus collection for because it is a work that deserves the attention. This is one of those self-published indie treats that I think would do well with a medium tier publisher and deserves to be brought to a larger audience.
The framing device is that it is supposedly a lost script of Jack Quad, a fictional writer from the 70s and 80s who wrote dozens of cheesy novels that are all lost now. Before he disappeared, though, Jack Quaid submitted a script for a slasher movie starring Mia Sara from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Except, it wasn't a script but a full-fledged novel because that was just how Jack rolled. Luke Preston (the actual author) discovered this novel and presents it to the reader. I found it a cute narrative conceit but the story really stands on its own and didn't actually need it despite the entertaining opening where he visits a low budget, now-failing movie studio office.
The actual premise is presented as "Stephen King meets Quentin Tarantino" but I think Luke should revise that since I think a much better description is, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Scream meet R-rated gorefest." It has some superficial similarities to the popular Hack/Slash comic book series by Tim Seely and that is enough that I recommend it since I love those comics. In a larger context, it is story about a survivor of a typical horror movie experience who then proceeds to dedicate her life to hunting down serial killing undead called slashers.
Parker Ames, the character played by Mia Sara in this fictional universe, is the Final Girl of the Coffin Bay Massacre that claimed her entire family. Adopted by a hard-nosed monster hunter, Parker learns the tricks to murdering creatures of the night and goes on several hunts before coming to the haunetd town of Happydale in order to go after the slasher that killed her family a decade ago. Chasing Parker is her former psychologist, a Doctor Loomis figure, who is convinced she's a murderer. There's also a cast of reasonably developed dead men and women walking that exist solely to show Hurricane Williams is a bonafide monster.
There's some flaws in the book like the fact at one point there's "missing pages" from Jack Quaid's script that, unfortunately, remove some of the story's pivotal character development. It's a cheap gag that, unfortunately, comes at the expense of what is a fairly solid story. I also note the book is a bit darker and edgier than it needs to be in its finale. I would have appreciated a couple of more survivors even though 80s movies rarely ended with anyone but the Final Girl. The problem with developing the "dead men walking" is that you actually care when they die.
Overall, this is a very enjoyable horror/urban fantasy novel. The use of slashers to replace traditional monsters like vampires and werewolves is something I've seen before but given my love of 80s horror, it is still very welcome. Parker is a great protagonist and I love all the subtle as well as not so subtle homages to the classics of the genre. This is definitely a book worth investing to buy rather than just picking it up on Kindle Unlimited (or you can do that too).
THE LAST FINAL GIRL: ESCAPE FROM HAPPYDALE is a homage to 80s slasher movies that I very much enjoyed. It is a quick, solid, and entertaining read that has an interesting (albeit unnecessary) gimmick that makes me want to read the rest of the series. It is also a story that I am going to read the sequels too and probably pick up the omnibus collection for because it is a work that deserves the attention. This is one of those self-published indie treats that I think would do well with a medium tier publisher and deserves to be brought to a larger audience.
The framing device is that it is supposedly a lost script of Jack Quad, a fictional writer from the 70s and 80s who wrote dozens of cheesy novels that are all lost now. Before he disappeared, though, Jack Quaid submitted a script for a slasher movie starring Mia Sara from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Except, it wasn't a script but a full-fledged novel because that was just how Jack rolled. Luke Preston (the actual author) discovered this novel and presents it to the reader. I found it a cute narrative conceit but the story really stands on its own and didn't actually need it despite the entertaining opening where he visits a low budget, now-failing movie studio office.
The actual premise is presented as "Stephen King meets Quentin Tarantino" but I think Luke should revise that since I think a much better description is, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Scream meet R-rated gorefest." It has some superficial similarities to the popular Hack/Slash comic book series by Tim Seely and that is enough that I recommend it since I love those comics. In a larger context, it is story about a survivor of a typical horror movie experience who then proceeds to dedicate her life to hunting down serial killing undead called slashers.
Parker Ames, the character played by Mia Sara in this fictional universe, is the Final Girl of the Coffin Bay Massacre that claimed her entire family. Adopted by a hard-nosed monster hunter, Parker learns the tricks to murdering creatures of the night and goes on several hunts before coming to the haunetd town of Happydale in order to go after the slasher that killed her family a decade ago. Chasing Parker is her former psychologist, a Doctor Loomis figure, who is convinced she's a murderer. There's also a cast of reasonably developed dead men and women walking that exist solely to show Hurricane Williams is a bonafide monster.
There's some flaws in the book like the fact at one point there's "missing pages" from Jack Quaid's script that, unfortunately, remove some of the story's pivotal character development. It's a cheap gag that, unfortunately, comes at the expense of what is a fairly solid story. I also note the book is a bit darker and edgier than it needs to be in its finale. I would have appreciated a couple of more survivors even though 80s movies rarely ended with anyone but the Final Girl. The problem with developing the "dead men walking" is that you actually care when they die.
Overall, this is a very enjoyable horror/urban fantasy novel. The use of slashers to replace traditional monsters like vampires and werewolves is something I've seen before but given my love of 80s horror, it is still very welcome. Parker is a great protagonist and I love all the subtle as well as not so subtle homages to the classics of the genre. This is definitely a book worth investing to buy rather than just picking it up on Kindle Unlimited (or you can do that too).
October 26, 2025
Parker was once the final girl in her own story. Now, she hunts and kills the slashers terrorising others. This time, she’s returning to where it all began — to hunt the monster who left her an orphan.
This was a fun slasher that left me feeling nostalgic for the horror movies of the ’80s. It features a young blonde protagonist who takes down monsters with a quippy comment, giving us serious Buffy vibes. It’s brutal and gory, with a great cast of characters. I loved the concept, and I think the author pulled it off well.
One small note: the book could have used a stronger edit, as there were quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes.
This was a fun slasher that left me feeling nostalgic for the horror movies of the ’80s. It features a young blonde protagonist who takes down monsters with a quippy comment, giving us serious Buffy vibes. It’s brutal and gory, with a great cast of characters. I loved the concept, and I think the author pulled it off well.
One small note: the book could have used a stronger edit, as there were quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes.
August 6, 2023
80s slasher movie in the form of a book?? love
was a four star read but minus one star for part of the book being missing from a print error back in the 80s and them never being able to find the pages
was a four star read but minus one star for part of the book being missing from a print error back in the 80s and them never being able to find the pages
December 17, 2020
Give me an 80s style bloody slasher with alot of cheesy clichés and I'm always a happy bunny..
July 29, 2021
I will agree that it is like a Taratino King mash-up. Can't wait to read the next one!
April 16, 2023
I like it, but there's some bits of it that feel lacking. It also feels like the author read the comic Hack Slash at some point ha. But it works for what it is. Solid read.
Read
July 14, 2024actual rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.75
March 19, 2025
So much fun! A final girl killing slashers with her favorite chainsaw named Aerosmith?! Parker Ames could be my final girl soulmate!
Love this, and will definitely be seeking out the other 2 of the trilogy.
4 1/2 stars.
Love this, and will definitely be seeking out the other 2 of the trilogy.
4 1/2 stars.
February 3, 2023
7/10 - crazy, zany, oh-so-cheesy and in desperate need of an editor, but a lot of corny fun!
October 11, 2019
It's not perfect, but I enjoyed it for the most part.
The book's introduction makes it seem like the author, Jack Quaid, was some really cool and underrated author in the horror pulp scene, and that this book was pulled from a junk pile of rejected film manuscripts. It's creative and got me interested right from the first page.
Note: if that intro is actually legit someone tell me, 'cause the only thing I can locate when searching Jack Quaid is Dennis Quaid's son haha.
Escape from Happydale plays out like an '80s horror slasher flick, which is pretty much what you'd expect from the cover and synopsis. Imagine if the show Supernatural had a successful spinoff with a female lead and she hunted supernatural slasher movie type people called...Slashers. It plays out sorta like that, protagonist learns how to "hunt" and goes after all the Slashers she can.
The premise behind the Slashers is they go on a murder spree, the "last girl" gets away and the Slasher has to hunt down any and all last girls. There's a backstory to the Slasher origin, but it doesn't completely line up: it's said there was an experiment done ten years prior to the story, but there's a Slasher in the book that is a couple hundred years old..??? so I'm really not sure if there were always Slashers and the experiment just so happened to create another one, and if so who created the first Slasher? ...or if there's an oversight there.
The protagonist, Parker Ames, is orphaned by a Slasher. Some mystery woman shows up and offers to help her get revenge. Parker follows along no questions asked, and then it fast-forwards however long to where she's been a badass hunter for years and years. The fast-forward is covered by a small movie-like montage, but I feel like some of that time could have been fleshed out more...but then again, that might have messed up the pacing of the story..? I just felt like there should have been something more to Parker's character to make me feel more connected, even if it was following alongside her in this crazy hunter training and her wiping out countless Slashers.
Speaking of characters, in the second half of the story there are numerous characters introduced with full backstory and all, only to be butchered shortly after. I can understand having some collateral damage, the slasher movies are like that, but maybe a little less time spent on said characters' history -- the story is about the last girls and these Slasher freaks, no one really cares about these other people.
The writing style is plain and easy to follow, pacing is good and plays out like you'd expect from a slasher movie. There's some minor copy editing fixes that could be made, but nothing major.
And boy oh boy does Jack Quaid love using "son of a b***h" for people and objects and places and just everything. I'm totally okay with it, but sometimes it was overkill when using it four times on one page... Mix it up a bit.
As far as horror goes, there was one little scene at the beginning that was chill-worthy, but everything else was the normal hack-n-slash blood-fest type stuff. I was actually hoping for some more fright.
Overall I did enjoy it, but I doubt I'll remember much about it down the road. I am curious to see how it carries for two more books and will likely try moving into the second one right away to see how everything holds up.
If you're an '80s horror movie fan you might consider giving this one a try. It definitely has that vibe to it.
:::
Cover Review: I freakin' love this cover, but I freakin' hate that there are no credits in the book (eBook, not sure about print). No artist credit, no designer credit, nothing. As someone who works in book production I really don't like when the production team isn't credited.
So, if the artist and designer happen to see this review, I love your work and you did a really great job on this cover, it's what led to me reading the book. That oldschool pulpy feel sets the mood and clearly defines what readers are in store for.
The book's introduction makes it seem like the author, Jack Quaid, was some really cool and underrated author in the horror pulp scene, and that this book was pulled from a junk pile of rejected film manuscripts. It's creative and got me interested right from the first page.
Note: if that intro is actually legit someone tell me, 'cause the only thing I can locate when searching Jack Quaid is Dennis Quaid's son haha.
Escape from Happydale plays out like an '80s horror slasher flick, which is pretty much what you'd expect from the cover and synopsis. Imagine if the show Supernatural had a successful spinoff with a female lead and she hunted supernatural slasher movie type people called...Slashers. It plays out sorta like that, protagonist learns how to "hunt" and goes after all the Slashers she can.
The premise behind the Slashers is they go on a murder spree, the "last girl" gets away and the Slasher has to hunt down any and all last girls. There's a backstory to the Slasher origin, but it doesn't completely line up: it's said there was an experiment done ten years prior to the story, but there's a Slasher in the book that is a couple hundred years old..??? so I'm really not sure if there were always Slashers and the experiment just so happened to create another one, and if so who created the first Slasher? ...or if there's an oversight there.
The protagonist, Parker Ames, is orphaned by a Slasher. Some mystery woman shows up and offers to help her get revenge. Parker follows along no questions asked, and then it fast-forwards however long to where she's been a badass hunter for years and years. The fast-forward is covered by a small movie-like montage, but I feel like some of that time could have been fleshed out more...but then again, that might have messed up the pacing of the story..? I just felt like there should have been something more to Parker's character to make me feel more connected, even if it was following alongside her in this crazy hunter training and her wiping out countless Slashers.
Speaking of characters, in the second half of the story there are numerous characters introduced with full backstory and all, only to be butchered shortly after. I can understand having some collateral damage, the slasher movies are like that, but maybe a little less time spent on said characters' history -- the story is about the last girls and these Slasher freaks, no one really cares about these other people.
The writing style is plain and easy to follow, pacing is good and plays out like you'd expect from a slasher movie. There's some minor copy editing fixes that could be made, but nothing major.
And boy oh boy does Jack Quaid love using "son of a b***h" for people and objects and places and just everything. I'm totally okay with it, but sometimes it was overkill when using it four times on one page... Mix it up a bit.
As far as horror goes, there was one little scene at the beginning that was chill-worthy, but everything else was the normal hack-n-slash blood-fest type stuff. I was actually hoping for some more fright.
Overall I did enjoy it, but I doubt I'll remember much about it down the road. I am curious to see how it carries for two more books and will likely try moving into the second one right away to see how everything holds up.
If you're an '80s horror movie fan you might consider giving this one a try. It definitely has that vibe to it.
:::
Cover Review: I freakin' love this cover, but I freakin' hate that there are no credits in the book (eBook, not sure about print). No artist credit, no designer credit, nothing. As someone who works in book production I really don't like when the production team isn't credited.
So, if the artist and designer happen to see this review, I love your work and you did a really great job on this cover, it's what led to me reading the book. That oldschool pulpy feel sets the mood and clearly defines what readers are in store for.
December 20, 2019
the mythos surrounding the author is fun in theory, but it fails in execution and reads strictly like someone attempting to emulate the formula of 80s slashers. you can't really get immersed in the idea that "Jack Quaid" and his books are forgotten because the style is rigid and lacking in that specific flare that makes retro horror fun. there was also a real opportunity to actually have this be something feminist, celebrating the strength of women, but the author fucks that up entirely by saying McCormick isn't complete because she'll "never be able to experience motherhood", then have Parker fantasize about a life where she can forget slashers and settle down "with a man, and have two children - a boy and a girl." I get that this is an "80s mindset" but that doesn't mean I can't be annoyed by it.
the author also does this thing where he repeats a sentence but with every word punctuated for emphasis, and it's annoying as hell. Annoying. As. Hell.
when will horror be FUN to read again
the author also does this thing where he repeats a sentence but with every word punctuated for emphasis, and it's annoying as hell. Annoying. As. Hell.
when will horror be FUN to read again
September 11, 2019
An 80s throwback novel from a supposedly unpublished manuscript. I bought into the idea - the cover is on point, and the idea of finding an unpublished manuscript hiding in someone's office tickled me.
Unfortunately the story within couldn't live up to the weight of my expectations. I had fun, sure, but this had the potential to be really great. It never reached those heights.
The most jarring part was the constant 80s references that were clearly being made by someone looking back on the 80s instead of living in it.
The final 15% of the novel also killed any goodwill I had towards the main character. Will I read the sequels? I don't know. I'll have to sit on this for a few days and cleanse the palette with something else.
Great idea, but underbaked execution.
Unfortunately the story within couldn't live up to the weight of my expectations. I had fun, sure, but this had the potential to be really great. It never reached those heights.
The most jarring part was the constant 80s references that were clearly being made by someone looking back on the 80s instead of living in it.
The final 15% of the novel also killed any goodwill I had towards the main character. Will I read the sequels? I don't know. I'll have to sit on this for a few days and cleanse the palette with something else.
Great idea, but underbaked execution.
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