Becoming a King: The Path to Restoring the Heart of a Man

by Morgan Snyder, John Eldredge (Foreword)

What does power and responsibility look like for Christian men in our world today? Becoming a King offers men a guide to becoming one to whom God can entrust his kingdom.

Journey with Morgan Snyder as he walks alongside men (and the women who love and encourage them) to rediscover the path of inner transformation. Becoming a King is an invitation into a radical reconstruction of much of what we’ve come to believe about God, masculinity, and the meaning of life.

Curated and distilled over more than two decades and drawn from the lives of more than seventy-five men, Morgan shares his discovery of an ancient and reliable path to restoring and becoming the kind of man who can wield power for good. With examples from the lives of the great heroes of faith as well as wise men from Morgan’s own life, break through doubt and discover the power of restoration.

In Becoming a King, you

Reconstruct your understanding of masculinity and who God truly intended you to beLearn to become a man of unshakable strength and courageReclaim your identity, integrity, and purposeTraveling this path isn’t easy. But the heroic journey detailed within the pages of Becoming a King leads to real life—to men becoming as solid and mighty as oak trees, teeming with strength and courage to bring healing to a hurting world; and to sons, husbands, brothers, and friends becoming the kind of kings to whom God can entrust his kingdom.

 

Genres: Christian, Faith, Christianity, Nonfiction, Psychology, Spirituality, Self Help

240 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 26, 2020

Reviews

[Adam Jarvis · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book. The idea of the book is great, and the author very openly shares some deeply personal information throughout. He also says some amazing stuff about our identity in Christ and the image of God that I absolutely loved. These are things that men desperately need to hear, and I was very glad that the author voiced them.

However, he seems to go overly melodramatic in some areas, with regard to what he refers to as “the masculine soul”. To me, parts of the book read as a mix of the hyper-rugged and the deeply romantic. I think this book would be somewhat awkward in a group setting with guys- especially those you don’t know very well. Which is fine, I get it, but for me, it was a little over the top.

Also, while I appreciate the author’s view of the reachability of God, and God’s daily, personal, interaction with us as men, I did feel that he humanized God a little too much. Maybe not, but that was my personal take.

I did not appreciate the seemingly constant references to alcohol throughout the book. I began to wonder if this was a book written for Christian men, or just a long country western album. I’m sorry to say that for me, some really great insights the author shared were minimized or overshadowed by this casual, yet constant theme running through the book.

But the biggest turn off for me was the language. If you’re going to write a book from a Christian perspective, presumably geared toward Christian men, then please, please, please, do NOT put foul language in your book. No, not even a little bit. Whether you are talking of climbing Mount Everest, or a man in a board meeting with a bag of markers, or giving an interview with other men at the end of the book, (I listened to the audiobook) please! Keep it clean. Nothing does more to discredit your message than adding foul language. That extremely disappointed me. I don’t think it’s too much to ask a Christian to have clean language, especially in a professional area. This was very frustrating to me, because there were very many great thoughts in the book that Christian men need to hear.

Overall, it was a great idea, and had incredible potential, because some of the truths in this book are so necessary for our times. I wanted very much to love it, but I was disappointed.

Favorite quote from the book: “One man with a knife can save the world.”

[Jack Woodbury · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most books about masculinity; especially biblical masculinity, tend to divide readers into two camps. One camp receiving the book as a catalyst to necessary change in their lives; and the other trashing it as worthless or even dangerous. Don't believe me? Just read through some other reviews of this very book.

You can guess from the 5 stars I awarded this book which camp I fall into. And here's the thing; there are a ton of well written 5 star reviews of this book here that I pretty much agree with, so I don't feel a need to echo what they have said. I do however feel like some of the critique of this book is overstated and overreactive, so I have chosen to use this space here to offer up some challenges to those 1 and 2 star reviewers who have so passionately invoked others to stay away.

Challenge one- Remember that different books have different purposes. One common critique of this book is that it doesn't include specific mention of several different aspects of Christianity such as original sin, or the wrath of God. Here's the thing though... this book is not a book written to address those issues. This book is written to help men adjust how they view their own masculinity to become the kind of men we'd all like to be; by depending on God more. Criticizing a book about masculinity for things not related to that issue is like leaving a bad review on Yelp for a Chinese restaurant because it doesn't serve tacos.

Challenge two- Reductive arguments are not good arguments. The most common form of critique of this book takes the form of stripping a specific practical suggestion from the book of its context, and then pretending Snyder is making the claim that the practice is an absolute necessity. This is completely untrue. One of the main ideas in this book is that indirect practices are a useful tool in a Christian's life. And in accordance with that idea; Snyder does list dozens of practical suggestions of what each of those indirect practices could look like for you. For example; maybe carrying a pocket knife can help you approach each day with a readiness you didn't have before, maybe doing your own yardwork will help you become a better steward, or maybe turning off your cell phone will help you be more present with your family. However, he does not anywhere in this book claim that if you do not engage in a specific practical application he suggested that you are lesser than those who do. So; If you see a review of this book claiming that Snyder argues you HAVE to do Christian Yoga or you HAVE to drink craft beer, or some variation of that, please know that that's just not true.

And Finally; Challenge Three- You might be wrong. This book argues for a very specific kind of masculinity. It leaves wiggle room for you to freestyle your own implementation; however, you are clearly meant not to just read this book, but also to walk it out. I have a feeling much of the criticism this book has received has come from people who made up their mind to dislike it and disregard it very early in the reading process, and thusly skipped right by any sort of application. Yes I am being somewhat presumptive there, but not entirely. Read through the five star reviews of this book; you'll find a bunch of people essentially saying "I read the book, I have been applying the content to my life, and it is working." Read through the 1 and 2 star reviews and you'll see a lot less commentary on what they've practically experienced; instead you'll find a lot of worries about the theoretical "dangers" of the book. So, from my practical experience to your theoretical worry; and please hear this with the charity it is delivered with; please consider that just maybe, you're wrong on this one. That consideration might change your life for the better.

[April Lundquist]

Mom, I am the oak tree

[Justin Effler · Rating 1 out of 5]

A SUMMARY AND GRAVE WARNING

-The goal summary of this book is to emphasize God’s purpose through masculinity in the common man.
“Men were made to come through. To rise to the occasion. They were made to engage, to act. To offer a strength in love and sacrifice so that others can flourish. They were made to bring a strength that, woven together with vulnerability and beauty, could bring forth life beyond telling. Men were made for action. To protect, to provide”. Pg. 65
“Becoming a king is an invitation to a process of becoming the kind of man to whom God can entrust his kingdom.” Pg. 192
“Here is the unapologetic premise of this book: the desire to be powerful—to lead, care for and bring goodness to man’s realm—is central to the soul.” Pg. 1
The Ancient Path of becoming – Is “….becoming a student, becoming a son, and consenting to the slow and steady process of inner transformation.” Pg. XIX and “becoming the kind of king to whom God greatly delights to entrust to care of his kingdom.” XX
Becoming Powerful – There has been many misuses of power. Pharoah, David, Ravi Zacharias, Lance Armstrong, Harvey Weinste8n and many others are examples of a misuse of power when it should be utilized to make people flourish.
Becoming A Son – Jesus modeled the importance of a Father in man’s life; the closeness that is needed. Through the various statistics he gave (i.e., prisoners not asking for a Father’s Day card) we often get our perception of Fatherhood from our Fathers which often to represent well. We need to root our identity in light of our Heavenly Father.
True Self vs False Self – The false self is geared on self & not God. It Fears and retreats. It’s “Adam’s fig leaf”, as Snyder states. One indicator of the true self Is that It is the opposite. It’s humble in submission to God’s Kingdom in every area of life. It either leads to death or life (pg. 39).
Becoming A Generalist – “…Reclaiming what was lost in masculinity through the try-and-fail, risk-and-explore, prioritize-learning-over-success path of becoming a generalist.” Pg. 75
Becoming a Warrior – Identity Criss, even Jesus needed to remember his own identity…Jesus’ story is a story of doing the Fathers will fight for his sheep. The Gospel is “A story of war”. Pg. 88. Satan’s main goal is to make us forget our identity.
Becoming Good Soil – In wisdom, we endure through trials that require time. In our western world everything valued is instantaneous. We will not go the long way. This is a recipe for disaster when it comes to cultivating Godliness, since it requires time. (James 1:2-4)
The five Habits: No shortcuts, embracing failure, Lowest seat (humility), Living presently, and slow down
Becoming Deep Roots – “Human beings are designed to be run on God’s fuel and his Kingdom.” Pg. 126. Instead of trying, we have to practice to become more Godly. Practices of Engagement, Abstinence and Being weird. Practices of abstinence (fasting), adventure (having fun) and worship…and doing nothing.
Becoming Like Hearted – We must prioritize our hidden life with God from the foundation level alongside with filling ourselves so we can love the rest of people, like our spouses, kids, and family. It is also pivotal to have mentors. Learning to not overload yourself and to say no to things.

MY GRAVE CONCERNS REGARDING THIS BOOK:

A Crossless Christianity –“For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.”. -The Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 2:2
This book never mentioned anything about the wrath of God, Jesus’ saving work that was accomplished on the cross. Nothing on the human condition, original sin, repentance, justification by faith and how we needed rescuing from sin and the impending judgement of God. In fact, he seems to deny Penal Substitutionary atonement on page 71 where he states in a rhetorical question that Jesus didn’t’ die to save us from hell. I would agree that Jesus didn’t just save us from hell and the judgement of God. The atonement is much deeper, indeed, but he didn’t say that. He wedged a false dilemma between apprenticeship with Jesus and Jesus dying on the cross for our sins, which according to Paul is “of first importance” (1 Corinthians 15). This concerned me and is enough alone to not recommend it.

“A God without wrath brought men without sin into a Kingdom without judgment through the ministrations of a Christ without a Cross.” - H. Richard Niebuhr

As a result of a Crossless Christianity, this book did seem that anybody could be a part of this by just practicing these principles and while practicing much of these principles aren’t bad in and of themselves, they are based and law (do) and not gospel (done). Nothing on the work of Christ, just esoteric appeals to the Trinity—which is important but is only given clarity with what Jesus accomplished on the cross.

Overly Man-centered: While I don’t want to be a stickler or sound legalistic, the book was saturated with man-centered doctrine and language. We need God-centered doctrine. What I mean by God centered, is Who God is, who we are, our problem, what he did to reconcile us and how we ought to respond. Much of the book was focused on us with God as be incorporated in. Like him going to nature, hunting, working with knives, doing things with your hands and doing Christian Yoga. It seemed like a Christless way to restore the image if God, as if we just forgot or don’t know who we are just need to know certain things. Go to nature, experience certain things to obtain true masculinity and restore the imago dei. When in reality, Chris is the image of the invisible God, he restores, he is our mediator and redeemer. Only through faith in Him is this accomplished.

Bad mentors: He mentioned on page 155 that some of his closest mentors were monastic Catholic priests, though, albeit LIBERAL priests in Richard Rohr and Thomas Keating (pg149). Evangelicalism has lost its way of the reformation. Richard Rohr is a liberal catholic priest who denies penal substitutionary atonement, original sin, is pro-gay marriage, does not believe Jesus is the only way, new age views on Jesus and mystic and much more. This is why, I believe, there are very strange type of occurrences that this man practices like “Christian Yoga” (pg. 146), meddling with Catholic sages and mystics with esoteric rhetoric that isn’t defined well(i.e. page 174). I found some of the language problematic, while True Self and False self can be derived from the bible his usage of it, it felt off because it wasn’t in connection to the depravity of man, being born again, and his need for a savior. In fact when I looked up Richard Rohr, the first thing that popped up was his book “True self, false self” which goes to show the depth of Rohr’s influence over this man, and of course the crossless Christianity within the book. That being said, can’t recommend.

Bad Logic: His Ikea example on masculinity was bad and quite frankly wrong, how having a knife and fixing stuff around the house is true masculinity, his God as mothering was unbiblical and strange, him saying God is wild and funny. No. Sorry, that’s just not how God portrays himself in the Bible.

Also his concept of how we are kings with God is just flat out unbiblical. Yes, we are holy priests but his idea that we rule with him is just flat out wrong.

All in all, a broken clock is right twice and day. There are some decent/right things in this book but I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone, especially a new believer. I had to read this as part of my program for discipleship with a group of guys and THANK GOD we all agreed this was largely dangerous and bad book and won’t recommend it to others. Stay away.

[Mathew Tipton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve started carrying a pocket knife with me.

[Paul McDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like a treasure map for our souls. Many times we see men walking in strength and vibrancy of life and wonder how we can get there. This book points the way. Morgan Snyder points to a path he (and others) has walked to find life. While simple and attainable, what he recommends is not easy. If you sense you are looking for more in your life, this book can help you find it.

[Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book to be surprisingly beneficial. Snyder addressed many of the fundamental spiritual challenges men face in a way that was both honest and thought provoking. It is rare to read a Christian books that contains material that does not feel recycled. Snyder provides a fresh perspective with practical ways grow in relationship with God and the world around you.

[J.D. Jacobs · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Becoming a King, Snyder gives insights on how men can reach their inevitable goal of becoming a king by tackling masculine hurdles that each man faces. Things such as confronting failure, slowing yourself down, avoiding isolation, and bringing the act and art of playing into your daily lives, are just a few of the many examples used to show how achieving your best self involves first sacrificing the false image of ourselves that we've created. In fact, one quote that stood out to me was how, instead of using brute force to attain the life and image that we want, men should focus on "investing in the proper time and care into preparing the tools we'll need for the process."

Throughout the book, Snyder gives real-life examples of the mentors and friends he's relied on in his life, which further drives home his point that a man's spiritual journey to becoming a king cannot be taken alone. No matter how much our masculine tendencies try to convince us, the pathway to being a king is not a lonesome task on an empty road. The ability to be vulnerable with your peers -- from other men to your spouse -- and being willing to "go to war" with them is essential.

Although Becoming a King is a book full of knowledge and wisdom, I will say that Snyder's writing did take me a second to become invested in. At times, the vernacular and voice of the narrative feels more like I'm being preached to rather than relating to, which took several chapters for me to get acquainted with. Nonetheless, despite the writing styles, Becoming a King still gives steps on how to shed the false identity that you might've given yourself, and direction on how to achieve the kingdom that God has prepared for you.

[Jonathan Crabb · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a book recommended to me by a close friend. In many ways, this book was more confirmatory than revelatory, but in all the right ways. The book is clearly aimed at men, but I think that this book is one that many men in the church should read and consider. The book asserts that men were meant to be Kings over creation, and that is what we are called to. The author does a great job of laying out what he means and how he has risen to the task of being a king.

I have only good things to say about this book, but there are two points in particular to bring up.
- This book could have been a "one size fits all" kind of approach to Christian life formation. What I most appreciated is that while the author has a definite set of directives, he leaves much up to the variety of gifts found in different men.
- I wonder if this book would be helpful to all men in the church or only a very small subset. That is the question that I walk away from this book pondering.

Overall great book by Morgan Snyder.

I am updating my methodology on reviewing non-fiction going forward and the rating will be based on the questions below. I hope it is helpful to others.
1. Will I read it again? I have taken great notes so I doubt I will read again.
2. Would I recommend this to others? I would recommend this to others, but the mileage for the reader will vary. Obviously the target audience is men.
3. Am I smarter, better or wiser as a result of this book? Absolutely, this book came at a particularly good time for me especially on life planning. While the author is deep within the John Eldridge organization, I thought the author was strong on his main points and yet allowed quite a bit of room for the framework to live into (if that makes sense).
4. Was I entertained while reading this/it kept my attention? Yes, this book was great in content, anecdotes and quotes.
5. This book was just the right length? Good length.

[Jonathan Weaver · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book found me at an incredibly vulnerable time of my life. I needed Morgan's "by day and by decade" insight as well as the wisdom to return to the long apprenticeship of masculinity over the course of my thirties. The quote of Mike Mason still rings in my head, "A 30 year old man is like a densely populated city. Nothing new can be built without something else being torn down." The excavation of my life has felt like it just began. I'm here with an entire Evernote of
quotes that hit like plastic baseball bats to the face, enough to sting and change my direction, but maybe not hospitalizing to my soul. I would recommend 27+ year old men to consider this but only if you're ready for the wrecking ball.

[Melissa Colby · Rating 2 out of 5]

Abysmal. Theology and doctrine were alarmingly off. There was a large focus on practices that are not founded in Scripture. While carrying a pocket knife may be manly and even recommended, it is not making you a better Christian. The title alone is concerning. "Becoming a King" Nope, it's not talking about Jesus. It's talking about YOU being a king and growing YOUR kingdom. There is no Biblical backing for this. He substitutes slightly off synonyms for Biblical terms which alters the theology. In the final prayer (in the audiobook) he refers to the "mothering" Holy Spirit multiple times. That is not how we refer to the Holy Spirit. The false and the true self were submitted for the Biblical terminology of putting off the old self and putting on the new. What may seem like a minor term change has far reaching implications. If we have a false and a true self, than we are not dead to the old man. I would not recommend this book.

[Chris Burke · Rating 5 out of 5]

While admittedly this book did start out as a slow burn for me, it wasn’t long before every chapter and sub chapter had me contemplating what it meant to be a man in todays world. Through wisdom of both Morgan and the men he confides in you find a wealth of life lessons each one more valuable the more you reflect on it.

This will be a book I’ll come back to from time to time to reshape my path and ensure I’m staying on the right track to becoming the man god can entrust his kingdom.

[Matthew Ocenasek]

Bookclub book! Found this framework insightful and instructive - while restructuring our hearts to seek intimate relationship with God may be painful, counterintuitive, and challenge modern definitions of success, it is where we find him and for good reason!

The something is in the nothing. To Much, not many!

[Owen Cottom · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a year when I’m trying to read a bit more on biblical manhood, this book takes the prize for being the most soul-stirring, hopeful and wise. Live for the day, measure by the decade and by eternity.

[Jay Cole · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book had some helpful points, but they were taken from other works so if you’ve read proverbs, the Bible, or other self help books you’re fine to skip. I do truly believe several messages in this book, such as the mission of trying to get connected in your faith based community and spending time being a kid with your children, are paramount for a healthy life. However I don’t think the need to love the outdoors, hunting, fishing, hiking, or doing yoga in order to be closer to Christ and God is true or helpful. Further, several of the Bible verses used as evidence for his points are taken out of context. To call this book a Christian novel is equivalent to saying Jordan Peterson’s “12 rules for life” is a Christian novel. This book may have more Bible verses in it but it evolves down to personal experience on how he found success with verses taken out of context to justify it.

[Jake Cleys · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book about seeking God with your whole being. I would recommend this book any any young man who wants to be better and seeking God through that process and in that process. Adding this is to the list of books I give those I disciple.

[Nathan Lackey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book! Morgan takes a great biblical approach to manhood and helping men understand what it looks like to be a true son of our Father. A few of my favorite quotes -

* The primary work of God is finding men to whom He can entrust His power

* To become a man who can submit to Gods leadership and guidance every day is a great indicator of becoming a king

* Our enemy fears our rootedness in the present moment and union with Jesus available here and now. He will do whatever to pull you into past or future

* Jesus dedication to joy got Him called a glutton and drunkard

* Indicator of spiritual maturity is quality of closest relationships

[Tyler Beede · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly Recommend

A must read for all men! Morgan gracefully leads you back to the rightful, ancient path of becoming a king for Gods Kingdom!

[Jen Severn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read… thinking of my young men… and my queen’s heart!

[Benjamin Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars for sure. Good book with lots of insightful moments and general encouragement. To be fair i read it over much too long a time. Sneaky favorite part was the sections of prayer he wrote.

[Michael Huntone · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book has some great insights.... but also some really eye rolling macho ham characteristic of so much writing on "Christian masculinity". Perhaps I'm overly sensitive here, but after reading Jesus & John Wayne I'm now on high alert for how masculinity is package in Christian writing- especially when it comes to 'getting rid of the wimpy Jesus and recognizing the warrior Jesus!'. This book isn't quite as bad as some of those works of Christian masculinity have been, but it's far from perfect. Though there are many good insights one can pull from this book, you have to sift through countless retellings of drinking beers, big game hunting and other sorts of rah-rah guy life stories. In one 5 page span the author manages to talk about the "castrating" effect of IKEA (his exact description) and who real men should carry a knife AT ALL TIMES. BUT... then 2 pages later he says another real mean should do is... seek counseling. And really this is the experience of the book- you get some really good, honest insights into caring for your heart and being present for your friends and family... you've just got to wade through the stories about hunting and his own leadership opportunities (that edge on bragging at times) to get them.

I do really appreciate how centered on Scripture the book is- the problem I have is when he a bit to "generously" applied his own interpretation to Scripture, and again uses the groan worthy refrain telling guys to ignore the passive Jesus and reframe Jesus as a warrior. Sigh.

Still, there is enough good stuff you can pull from it to make it worth reading if this is in your ballpark just don't, as the friend that recommended this book said to me, make a religion out of the book.

[Caspian Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is definitely one of the better Christian "manhood" books I've read. I especially appreciated the "re-learning the love of the Father" section, in which it pointed to the crisis of a generation of people thinking that God's love is distant because their own fathers/fatherhood figures were emotionally distant. Far from it! God's love is close, and He invites us to go through the process of become dangerous men for His Kingdom (please note that the target audience for this book is men, as the author mentions at the start). It has also made me reflect more about how I can be still in God's presence and slow down to listen to His voice. I now better understand the importance of being present in times when good men are needed (as my friend who lent me this book graciously reminded me that "men are good until you need them to be"). It gives me hope that there are many men today who are choosing to recover the ancient narrow path of manhood to renounce self-achievement and glorification, and instead are becoming trustworthy humble servants of God.

I also appreciated that this wasn't a book that badmouthed or spent time marginalising any minority group of people, which sadly other Christian books "for men" I've read or heard of have. Rather, it was a wonderful invitation to experience the richness of God's love in Jesus, and to become part of the process that God is using us in become leaders for His Kingdom.

[Kiefer Massey · Rating 1 out of 5]

The claim that this book will teach a man to step into and experience the truth of God’s design and purpose for Man, is quite false. Though this book talks a lot about the Lord, the advice given to us men, on how to “achieve true God-designed manhood” seems far too secular. A large point in the book on how to begin a part of manliness, is to start by carrying a knife. I’m not joking. A handful of other parts in the book is like this as well. With any book, I feel like, comes with a few good nuggets of information or insight and this is no exception. Becoming a King had some good things to keep in mind or think about concerning the inner lives of men, but if you’re a Christian seeking to understand the truth of Biblical Manhood, study the life of Jesus, the writings of David, or even the proverbs of Solomon. The best place to understand Gods revelation of Man’s design is in His Word. If you’re not a Christian, I offer the same challenge to you. Man was created for more than we can begin to imagine, the whole truth lies in the Word of God alone. For the sake of your spouse, your children, yourself, and for your Creator, understanding true manhood matters and no other source can provided as deep of knowledge and wisdom.

[Clayton · Rating 2 out of 5]

Summary of the book:

In the past decade, I have had the honor to sit at the feet of sages, e.g. Dallas Willard. Carry a pocketknife, do everything, except knowing that you have limits. Seek counseling, do Christian yoga, and other weird things. As I was about to kill a buck with my bow on a quiet, beautiful day in the Rocky Mountains a decade ago, I thought of life lessons from Gladiator, The Matrix, Le Miserable, Star Wars,Braveheart, and my girlfriend from college. (Insert brief scripture reference without context here.) Ponder these ideas, be there, while drinking a craft beer. Avoid any mention of studying the Bible, sinner saved by grace, and spiritual disciplines (too similar to dogma or rules). Organize the book in a disjointed fashion that does not appear to have an overall structure in mind.

[Casey · Rating 3 out of 5]

It had a lot of potential and I had high expectations. Unfortunately it was just "okay" and much of it wouldn't make sense to a reader new to the worldview of the Ransomed Heart/Wild at Heart team.

[Pieter Kriel · Rating 1 out of 5]

A few good nuggets. A agree with what Morgan sees as the problem but not with his proposed solutions thereto. It did not justify the read for me.

[Joshua Southard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written by a friend of one of my favorite authors, John Eldredge. John wrote the foreword explaining some of the process Snyder went through to write this book. In the introduction, Snyder explains how he wrote letters to men asking for wisdom and guidance on his path to becoming a better man. These letters and ten years of living life as a student and diving deep into what it means to walk the ancient paths hand in hand with the Father have led to this book. Here are the chapter headings which outline the journey each man has before him.
Becoming Powerful
Becoming a Son
Becoming True
Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be
Becoming a Generalist
Becoming a Warrior
Becoming Good Soil
Becoming Deep Roots
Becoming Like-Hearted
As I listened to the book, here are some of the ideas that resonated with me.
1-Becoming powerful. A kingdom is defined by the range of your effective will. The power entrusted to most men often brings harm. Many powerful men destroy or harm those they should be protecting. How can we become powerful and use our power to protect and grow rather than to harm?
2-Becoming a son. This is about understanding who we are in relation to the Father and allowing that relationship to grow properly.
5- Becoming a generalist. This section spoke deeply to my soul as a man. It is about learning all kinds of skills, working with your hands, being brave, trying new things, and becoming more useful as a man. Some days I feel like I can do anything. Other days I feel like an imposter. This was a challenge to lean into problems with curiosity, courage, and a willingness to learn, grow and be challenged.
7- Becoming good soil- opening our hearts to what God is trying to do in our lives.
8- Becoming deep roots. There are many practices we can choose to help our roots go down deep into the peace, power, and stability of the Father. Practice of engagement. Practice of play. Choose play. Laugh. Be present. The practice of defiant joy. Joy is the direct defiance of the kingdom of darkness. The practice of worship. The practice of adventure. Practices of abstinence. I chose to abstain from sugar during Lent this year. There were some dark days when all I wanted to do was eat all the sugar, but I managed to be disciplined. As a result, I am healthier, calmer, thinner, and stronger mentally. Practices of being weird. My friend Phil does weird things for his own reasons like wearing bright and fun shoes when he runs training classes at work. I love this example. It allows me to do weird things too for the sake of my own joy and freedom.
9- Becoming like-hearted. This is about surrounding yourself with men who are aiming at the same goals and growing together. Building your tribe. Sign treaties with men you love and respect- when they are at war, you are at war. Here are some questions to ponder about your direction for the next ten years: Who will carry my casket? What are my questions? Who am I asking them? Where do I need to say No? Who do I want to become? What takes men out of the fight?
10- Becoming a king. Like God asked Adam in the garden, where are you? God knew where Adam was. The question was relational. God wanted Adam to realize he was far from God and needed to turn his heart toward the Father and seek the healing of their relationship. Go listen to the stories of older, wiser men. I got a ton of value and encouragement from this book. Each section is filled with ideas, questions, prayers and wisdom that could be pondered long and incorporated well into a man’s life. This book has a study guide and a video study which I also intend to dig into. Let me know if you want to join me. Eddie, thank you for being part of my tribe, going to war when I am at war, and for being a man of power, honor, and generosity in my life. Also, thank you for recommending this book.

[Matt Fisk · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think I would give this a 3.5 but I round up. In summary, I think this is a very well written, relatable, vulnerable and well illustrated primer for young or inexperienced men trying to find the path of Christian masculinity. I probably would’ve loved this book if I was in my late teens or early 20s. However, I think for men who have stalled their discipleship/masculinity would find it more elementary. I may have misunderstood his intended audience, but to me this book was a thorough sentences of younger/intermediate men.

The main premise is that God designed men to be spiritual kings, and it is up to Christian men to become disciples who are worthy of their royal calling. His path on that journey does not promote a hyper masculinity which gets people into trouble, but a more integrated masculinity, which handles power, identity, and relationships in a godly way.

It’s a solid book. I didn’t find anything to be particularly new or insightful, but I do think it is a good synthesis of other work. There is nothing wrong with that, but I do think it limits the scope.

I imagine this would be a good resource for a church or ministry, trying to excite their male members in a more regular study.

[Russell B. Snoddy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I Am bequeathes thee

The overview of this book is strength help and power. There are so many good quotables, so many pieces of imparting wisdom. I highlighted, and read many parts of this book to others. It is more of a personal journey that is unfolded for the audience. There are only two reasons it does not get the five star treatment; many places there are run on sentences that need commas, or semicolons or hey, even a period. The second thing, the beginning of the book seems disjointed. I felt as if chapter four should have been chapter one. Also, he speaks of sage wisdom requested, I was waiting for an imparting, a clear literal list laid out. But it is more of a personal journey written. I believe the core, the real sense of the book is great but it is not; Wild At Heart. I would encourage anyone that has read this, read Wild At Heart.
Can it help build a king?, Yes, but more is needed.
Can it put good question in your life?, Yes, but more light is needed.
Is it challenging?, Yes, more for youngmen.
Am I blessed I read it?, No doubt.

[Tommy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book as a part of men’s mentorship curriculum at my church, and though there are some good thought provoking and life giving nuggets contained within, Becoming A King was just too heavy on gender specific stereotypes that the author then stretched into spiritual beliefs. There was a time that I really got into books like this, but over time I feel that gender roles are becoming less and less important to me. I understand that sexes are different and many people do fall into stereotypical, relatable patterns. But to speak of gender like there are different and specific spiritual duties feels a bit too extreme to me.

My favorite parts are the ones where he talks about himself and his real life challenges. Specifically how he was in counceling and his “false self” wanted to defend himself when his wife was saying she was unhappy. I have never thought and or prayed for Gods help to be a Son. That’s a powerful thought. I also related to his comments about always feeling behind on his self report card in all areas of life (fitness, finance, marriage, responsibilities). It’s amazing how we can never find rest for ourselves.

Another important concept discussed here is identity. We can’t out perform the identity we give ourselves, so guard what you convince yourself you are. Also know that you are a soul made by God, for God, and to need God, so you were not made to be self-sufficient. Believing the lie that you can fix everything will slowly rot your relationships not only with others but yourself.

Chapter 9 about marriage probably had the biggest impact on my thinking. It stresses how the best marriages place unity and cherishing the other person as the most important qualities.

Overall I am glad I read this book, but it’s for a niche population. Outside of that niche, I think most will struggle with the total package.