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How to Be Lost
From the author of the celebrated Sleep Toward Heaven comes a novel of love and secrets.
To their neighbors in suburban Holt, New York, the Winters family has it all: a grand home, a trio of radiant daughters, and a sense that they are safe in their affluent corner of America. But when five-year-old Ellie disappears, the fault lines within the Winters family are exposed. Joseph, once a successful businessman, succumbs to his demons. Isabelle retreats into memories of her debutante days in Savannah, Georgia. And Ellie's bereft sisters grow apart: Madeline reluctantly stays home, while Caroline runs away.
To their neighbors in suburban Holt, New York, the Winters family has it all: a grand home, a trio of radiant daughters, and a sense that they are safe in their affluent corner of America. But when five-year-old Ellie disappears, the fault lines within the Winters family are exposed. Joseph, once a successful businessman, succumbs to his demons. Isabelle retreats into memories of her debutante days in Savannah, Georgia. And Ellie's bereft sisters grow apart: Madeline reluctantly stays home, while Caroline runs away.
Fifteen years later, Caroline, now a New Orleans cocktail waitress, sees a photograph of a woman in People Magazine. Convinced that it is Ellie all grown up, Caroline embarks on a search for her missing sister, armed with Xerox copies of the photograph, an amateur detective guide, and a cooler of Dixie beer. As Caroline travels through the New Mexico desert, the mountains of Colorado, and the smoky underworld of Montana, she devotes herself to salvaging her broken family.
With dark humor and gorgeous prose, Amanda Eyre Ward brings us a spellbinding novel about the stories we are given, and the stories we embrace.
290 pages, Hardcover
Published October 8, 2004
94 people are currently reading
4557 people want to read
About the author
Amanda Eyre Ward
16 books1,403 followersAmanda Eyre Ward’s new novel. LOVERS AND LIARS, will be published in May, 2024! It is the story of a librarian in love.
Here is a very long bio: Amanda was born in New York City in 1972. Her family mved to Rye, New York when she was four. Amanda attended Kent School in Kent, CT, where she wrote for the Kent News.
Amanda majored in English and American Studies at Williams College in Williamstown, Massachusetts. She studied fiction writing with Jim Shepard and spent her junior fall in coastal Kenya. She worked part-time at the Williamstown Public Library. After graduation, Amanda taught at Athens College in Greece for a year, and then moved to Missoula, Montana.
Amanda studied fiction writing at the University of Montana with Bill Kittredge, Dierdre McNamer, Debra Earling, and Kevin Canty, receiving her MFA. After traveling to Egypt, she took a job at the University of Montana Mansfield Library, working in Inter Library Loan.
In 1998, Amanda moved to Austin, Texas where she began working on Sleep Toward Heaven. Amanda finished Sleep Toward Heaven, which was published in 2003. Sleep Toward Heaven won the Violet Crown Book Award and was optioned for film by Sandra Bullock and Fox Searchlight. To promote Sleep Toward Heaven, Amanda, her baby, and her mother Mary-Anne Westley traveled to London and Paris.
Amanda moved to Waterville, Maine, where she wrote in an attic filled with books. Amanda’s second novel, How to Be Lost, was published in 2004. How to Be Lost was selected as a Target Bookmarked pick, and has been published in fifteen countries.
After one year in Maine and two years on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, Amanda and her family returned to Austin, Texas.
To research her third novel, Forgive Me, Amanda traveled with her sister, Liza Ward Bennigson, to Cape Town, South Africa. Forgive Me was published in 2007.
Amanda's short story collection, Love Stories in This Town, was published in April, 2009.
Her fourth novel, Close Your Eyes, published in July, 2011, received a four-star reiew in People Magazine, won the Elle Lettres Readers' Prize for September, and inspired the Dallas Morning News to write, "With CLOSE YOUR EYES, Austin novelist Amanda Eyre Ward puts another jewel in her crown as the reigning doyenne of 'dark secrets' literary fiction."
Close Your Eyes was named in Kirkus' Best Books of 2011, and won the Elle Magazine Fiction Book of the Year. It was released in paperback in August, 2012.
Amanda's fifth novel, The Same Sky, was published on January 20, 2015. It was named one of the most anticipated books for 2015 by BookPeople and Book of the Week by People Magazine. Dallas Morning News writes, "Ward has written a novel that brilliantly attaches us to broader perspectives. It is a needed respite from the angry politics surrounding border issues that, instead of dividing us, connects us to our humanity."
The Same Sky was chosen as a Target Bookmarked pick.
Amanda's new novel, The Nearness of You, was published on Valentine's Day, 2017.
Amanda's new novel, THE JETSETTERS, was chosen by Reese's Book Club and Hello Sunshine and became a New York Times bestseller. Her novel THE LIFEGUARDS was published in 2022.
Ask me anything and stay tuned for news about LOVERS AND LIARS and TV and film projects based on Amanda's work!
Here is a very long bio: Amanda was born in New York City in 1972. Her family mved to Rye, New York when she was four. Amanda attended Kent School in Kent, CT, where she wrote for the Kent News.
Amanda majored in English and American Studies at Williams College in Williamstown, Massachusetts. She studied fiction writing with Jim Shepard and spent her junior fall in coastal Kenya. She worked part-time at the Williamstown Public Library. After graduation, Amanda taught at Athens College in Greece for a year, and then moved to Missoula, Montana.
Amanda studied fiction writing at the University of Montana with Bill Kittredge, Dierdre McNamer, Debra Earling, and Kevin Canty, receiving her MFA. After traveling to Egypt, she took a job at the University of Montana Mansfield Library, working in Inter Library Loan.
In 1998, Amanda moved to Austin, Texas where she began working on Sleep Toward Heaven. Amanda finished Sleep Toward Heaven, which was published in 2003. Sleep Toward Heaven won the Violet Crown Book Award and was optioned for film by Sandra Bullock and Fox Searchlight. To promote Sleep Toward Heaven, Amanda, her baby, and her mother Mary-Anne Westley traveled to London and Paris.
Amanda moved to Waterville, Maine, where she wrote in an attic filled with books. Amanda’s second novel, How to Be Lost, was published in 2004. How to Be Lost was selected as a Target Bookmarked pick, and has been published in fifteen countries.
After one year in Maine and two years on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, Amanda and her family returned to Austin, Texas.
To research her third novel, Forgive Me, Amanda traveled with her sister, Liza Ward Bennigson, to Cape Town, South Africa. Forgive Me was published in 2007.
Amanda's short story collection, Love Stories in This Town, was published in April, 2009.
Her fourth novel, Close Your Eyes, published in July, 2011, received a four-star reiew in People Magazine, won the Elle Lettres Readers' Prize for September, and inspired the Dallas Morning News to write, "With CLOSE YOUR EYES, Austin novelist Amanda Eyre Ward puts another jewel in her crown as the reigning doyenne of 'dark secrets' literary fiction."
Close Your Eyes was named in Kirkus' Best Books of 2011, and won the Elle Magazine Fiction Book of the Year. It was released in paperback in August, 2012.
Amanda's fifth novel, The Same Sky, was published on January 20, 2015. It was named one of the most anticipated books for 2015 by BookPeople and Book of the Week by People Magazine. Dallas Morning News writes, "Ward has written a novel that brilliantly attaches us to broader perspectives. It is a needed respite from the angry politics surrounding border issues that, instead of dividing us, connects us to our humanity."
The Same Sky was chosen as a Target Bookmarked pick.
Amanda's new novel, The Nearness of You, was published on Valentine's Day, 2017.
Amanda's new novel, THE JETSETTERS, was chosen by Reese's Book Club and Hello Sunshine and became a New York Times bestseller. Her novel THE LIFEGUARDS was published in 2022.
Ask me anything and stay tuned for news about LOVERS AND LIARS and TV and film projects based on Amanda's work!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 806 reviews
February 19, 2008
It was hard to get into this book and once I finally did, the ending was a complete let down. So if you don't mind crappy endings and slow starts, this book is totally for you.
December 13, 2016
Pretty good chick-lit :) Had a twist in it I didn't see coming. Easy to read. Recommended if this is a genre you like.
June 21, 2007
Although it wasn't a very lengthy book (290 pages), I was amazed at how quickly I read it (I think it took 3 days). The story is immediately compelling: five-year-old Ellie disappears from her opulent Long Island hometown, destroying what little sanity her family has left and leaving her two older sisters to forever wonder what has become of her. Many years later, Caroline, the oldest sister, sees a picture of a woman she is sure is her missing sister and embarks on a journey in search of her.
I like that while at first I was in a constant state of tension as to whether or not Caroline would ever be reunited with her sister, the focus began to shift and I almost no longer cared. It dawned on me that what I really wanted to see was Caroline pulling herself together and deciding to live her life. This story was a testament to the unbreakability that people can possess, even when they don't know it, and it did so in a way that wasn't trite or overly maudlin. The author's writing was acessible and effortless in such a way that I didn't see the imprints of her keystrokes on every page.
I like that while at first I was in a constant state of tension as to whether or not Caroline would ever be reunited with her sister, the focus began to shift and I almost no longer cared. It dawned on me that what I really wanted to see was Caroline pulling herself together and deciding to live her life. This story was a testament to the unbreakability that people can possess, even when they don't know it, and it did so in a way that wasn't trite or overly maudlin. The author's writing was acessible and effortless in such a way that I didn't see the imprints of her keystrokes on every page.
February 2, 2011
My copy of Amanda Eyre Ward’s novel How To Be Lost came with an unusual guarantee: the publisher promised to refund your money if you didn’t like it as much as The Lovely Bones. I suppose at the time of its publication, comparison to the juggernaut that was The Lovely Bones would seem like high praise indeed. But I won’t be writing to collect my refund, thanks very much. I loved How To Be Lost and, in fact, I think I liked it even more than The Lovely Bones which, in my opinion, started off with a bang and ended with a whimper.
Ward’s novel concerns the Winters family, specifically the Winters daughters: Caroline, Madeline and Ellie. We meet the eldest, Caroline, first. She’s a hard-drinking cocktail waitress in New Orleans trying to figure out how she’s going to tell her mother, Isabelle, that she’s not coming home for Christmas.
Home isn’t a happy place for Caroline. Home brings back horrible memories of her alcoholic father, her miserable mother and the disappearance of her youngest sister, Ellie. Still, duty calls.
It’s on this visit home that Caroline’s mother shows her a picture in a People magazine. As soon as Caroline sees it, she knows. It’s her baby sister.
How To Be Lost really is a story about people trying to find their way in both extraordinary circumstances (a potential love interest for Caroline has lost his wife in the 9/11 attacks and he is trying to move on with his life) and mundane circumstances (the novel is peopled with characters who spend their lives hunched over beer or whiskey in a variety of scummy bars).
Some people don’t like first person narrative, but I do, especially if the narrator is honest. Caroline is self-destructive and selfish and afraid. Her journey to find the woman in the picture is ill-advised and necessary because by making the journey she is making her first real attempt to leave the past behind.
One of the things I hated most about The Lovely Bones was Sebold’s decision to flash forward into the future. That rarely works for me. Ward doesn’t do this. Her ending, if anything, is a dangling thread. Her ending, for me, was perfect.
This is a gem of a book.
Ward’s novel concerns the Winters family, specifically the Winters daughters: Caroline, Madeline and Ellie. We meet the eldest, Caroline, first. She’s a hard-drinking cocktail waitress in New Orleans trying to figure out how she’s going to tell her mother, Isabelle, that she’s not coming home for Christmas.
Home isn’t a happy place for Caroline. Home brings back horrible memories of her alcoholic father, her miserable mother and the disappearance of her youngest sister, Ellie. Still, duty calls.
It’s on this visit home that Caroline’s mother shows her a picture in a People magazine. As soon as Caroline sees it, she knows. It’s her baby sister.
How To Be Lost really is a story about people trying to find their way in both extraordinary circumstances (a potential love interest for Caroline has lost his wife in the 9/11 attacks and he is trying to move on with his life) and mundane circumstances (the novel is peopled with characters who spend their lives hunched over beer or whiskey in a variety of scummy bars).
Some people don’t like first person narrative, but I do, especially if the narrator is honest. Caroline is self-destructive and selfish and afraid. Her journey to find the woman in the picture is ill-advised and necessary because by making the journey she is making her first real attempt to leave the past behind.
One of the things I hated most about The Lovely Bones was Sebold’s decision to flash forward into the future. That rarely works for me. Ward doesn’t do this. Her ending, if anything, is a dangling thread. Her ending, for me, was perfect.
This is a gem of a book.
July 13, 2008
I wanted to love this book. The concept of it really struck me and I think this novel has great potential. However, parts of it seemed
Also there are many points of view in this novel. We have the protagonist's first person POV which I think works well for the story. Then we have the lost sister's POV through letters to a hunk from "Alaskan hunks.com" and finally we have the sisters actual father (I think) halfway through the book in 3rd person POV. It gets a little complicated and a few times it seems there are some POV violations.
The story did fulfill the all important story promise. I want to find out where the sister is, and if they eventually are reunited as a family. That is the only reason I kept reading in many parts where I wanted to put the book down. Toward the end I skimmed over sections just to see what happens, and I never do that.
Overall a good story premise, but I think it could have gone through a few more rewrites. I'm learning myself from reading other novels, and I think I learned a lot from this one.
Parts of the text were lovely and poetically written.
Also there are many points of view in this novel. We have the protagonist's first person POV which I think works well for the story. Then we have the lost sister's POV through letters to a hunk from "Alaskan hunks.com" and finally we have the sisters actual father (I think) halfway through the book in 3rd person POV. It gets a little complicated and a few times it seems there are some POV violations.
The story did fulfill the all important story promise. I want to find out where the sister is, and if they eventually are reunited as a family. That is the only reason I kept reading in many parts where I wanted to put the book down. Toward the end I skimmed over sections just to see what happens, and I never do that.
Overall a good story premise, but I think it could have gone through a few more rewrites. I'm learning myself from reading other novels, and I think I learned a lot from this one.
Parts of the text were lovely and poetically written.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 1, 2008
This book left me feeling as if it was unfinished. It just seemed to end in the middle. I also found the different ways of narrating a bit disconcerting at first, but it didn't really affect the reading.
The book leaves questions that aren't answered and while I think I know who took Ellie, you aren't really told how he took her or if it was him for sure. Bernard mentions to Isabelle that he is divorced. Ellie was born after he got together for what I assume was one night with Isabelle. I assume he chose the name Agnes for Ellie because he had a birth certificate for his daughter that drowned, but I'm also assuming that she would have been at least 5 years older than Ellie.
There are just little details that aren't "wrapped up." I'm sorta hoping she writes a sequel, but then I'm not sure if there is enough for that. Like I said, it just seemed unfinished to me.
The book leaves questions that aren't answered and while I think I know who took Ellie, you aren't really told how he took her or if it was him for sure. Bernard mentions to Isabelle that he is divorced. Ellie was born after he got together for what I assume was one night with Isabelle. I assume he chose the name Agnes for Ellie because he had a birth certificate for his daughter that drowned, but I'm also assuming that she would have been at least 5 years older than Ellie.
There are just little details that aren't "wrapped up." I'm sorta hoping she writes a sequel, but then I'm not sure if there is enough for that. Like I said, it just seemed unfinished to me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 6, 2009
Wow, excellent book, goes straight to the top of my list (and the first book I've read in a while that I devoured). If I had started this at bed time, I would have read til 3 in the morning. As it was, I read it in one sitting on a long plane ride. Thanks Nadine for mentioning this book(and I'll return the LPL copy at the end of the week). I can't wait to read her first novel! And I hope she writes lots more. A terrific book about a women trying to come to terms with her dysfunctional family (aren't we all!!!) and with the disappearance of her sister years before. The mystery of the sister's disappearance unravels slowly and I have to say, I thought the ending was perfect (the author could have done it a lot of ways, and I thought she struck exactly the right notes). Just a great read. Highly recommended.
July 23, 2021
3.5 stars 🌟
February 23, 2015
Caroline strained relationship with her mother puts her in a awkward position. While she is originally from New York, she moves to New Orleans for a simple life without the need to satisfy her mother. When she decides not to come home for the holidays, her mother is disturbed and will not settle for anything other than a yes. Giving in to temptation, she sucks it up and home. The bond of her family has not been the same since her sister Ellie disappeared years ago, the pressure to stay quiet is complicated. Ellie as a child was fearful, predicting that she wants to run away but none of her siblings took her seriously.However she finally did leave, everyone else wonders if she could be saved. Although it is uncertain, Ellie is presumed to be dead, thus everyone lives their own life without her being in it. Yet Caroline believes that her 'deceased' sister is alive living somewhere else, but no one will take her word for it.
After she is let go from her job as a cocktail waitress, Caroline does the unthinkable and go in a search to find her sister. As far as she is concerned, she does not have much to lose. Single, miserable and jobless, what is there to add to her unimpressive resume? In the midst of all the chaos around her, she is determined to find her sister that everyone believes to be dead alive and well. Caroline starts to connect the dots with the friends around her and Ellie's disappearance, maybe she is alive and she can finally prove her family wrong? Loyalty, faith and love collide in this touching story about family.
I have to admit, the characterization saved this book. I was slightly confused with where the direction of the book was going but I loved the main character. Caroline was a sympathetic girl that longed for acceptance after being rejected so many times. I wanted her to prevail in the end, she was such a strong likable character that overshadowed some minor characters that I felt was fickle and borderline forgettable.
After she is let go from her job as a cocktail waitress, Caroline does the unthinkable and go in a search to find her sister. As far as she is concerned, she does not have much to lose. Single, miserable and jobless, what is there to add to her unimpressive resume? In the midst of all the chaos around her, she is determined to find her sister that everyone believes to be dead alive and well. Caroline starts to connect the dots with the friends around her and Ellie's disappearance, maybe she is alive and she can finally prove her family wrong? Loyalty, faith and love collide in this touching story about family.
I have to admit, the characterization saved this book. I was slightly confused with where the direction of the book was going but I loved the main character. Caroline was a sympathetic girl that longed for acceptance after being rejected so many times. I wanted her to prevail in the end, she was such a strong likable character that overshadowed some minor characters that I felt was fickle and borderline forgettable.
July 24, 2021
Pues... he estado dudando entre el 3 y el 4 porque no sé muy bien qué opino de esta novela. El tema me ha parecido muy interesante y los personajes están perfilados de una forma muy interesante, pero al final se me ha quedado todo a medias. Aun así, he disfrutado mucho de la lectura. De ahí que no sepa muy bien si lo recomendaría o no.
April 1, 2007
I don’t think anybody needs help in figuring out how to be lost, but at one point or another we may need help figuring out how to be found, or how to find ourselves. Amanda Eyre Ward’s book, How to Be Lost, is the story of a woman in search of her lost sister who eventually finds herself.
Caroline Winters in the oldest of three sisters. She and her younger sisters live a seemingly charmed life in New York. The family lives in a beautiful home in an expensive neighborhood, but behind the closed front door is an alcoholic father and a self-absorbed mother. Caroline, Madeline and little Ellie live in fear of their father’s rages. Their mother, Isabelle, lost in her own world isn’t there for them, so they decide to make a better life for themselves and run away to New Orleans. On the day of their departure, Caroline and Madeline go to pick up Ellie from school, only to find that she has disappeared.
Fifteen years later, the fragments of this family still have not recovered from Ellie’s disappearance. She has not been found – alive or dead, and her mysterious disappearance is a gaping hole in the soul of this family. Mr. Winters has long since died. Isabelle lives a fa�ade of a life, throwing parties, wearing beautiful clothing, drinking too much and always searching for her missing daughter. Madeline has married and has moved to New York City. Caroline has given up her dream of being a pianist and has moved to New Orleans. She works as a cocktail waitress in a shabby club, drinks too much, avoids relationships, and distances herself from her mother and sister.
The three Winters women each carries guilt over Ellie’s disappearance. Each believes that it is somehow her fault. Madeline, expecting her first baby, wants to put Ellie’s memory to rest, and declare her sister dead, but Isabelle and Caroline can not give up hope.
When Isabelle is killed in a car accident on New Years Eve, Caroline decides to search for Ellie. Following a lead from a photo in People Magazine, Caroline heads off to Montana in search of her baby sister.
The story that follows is somewhat outrageous - filled with convenient coincidence and a sometimes outlandish plot. Despite this, Ms. Ward has written a compelling novel. While parts of the plot are not believable, all of the characters are. The novel kept me turning the pages, not because I wanted to know what happened next, but because I wanted to see the growth in the characters.
A bit mystery, a bit romance, a bit coming of age novel; this book is satisfying. Ward weaves together an ending that doesn’t tell us if and how the characters live happily ever after, but which lets us feel the healing process that they experience. I very much enjoyed reading this book, and despite its faults, I highly recommend it.
Caroline Winters in the oldest of three sisters. She and her younger sisters live a seemingly charmed life in New York. The family lives in a beautiful home in an expensive neighborhood, but behind the closed front door is an alcoholic father and a self-absorbed mother. Caroline, Madeline and little Ellie live in fear of their father’s rages. Their mother, Isabelle, lost in her own world isn’t there for them, so they decide to make a better life for themselves and run away to New Orleans. On the day of their departure, Caroline and Madeline go to pick up Ellie from school, only to find that she has disappeared.
Fifteen years later, the fragments of this family still have not recovered from Ellie’s disappearance. She has not been found – alive or dead, and her mysterious disappearance is a gaping hole in the soul of this family. Mr. Winters has long since died. Isabelle lives a fa�ade of a life, throwing parties, wearing beautiful clothing, drinking too much and always searching for her missing daughter. Madeline has married and has moved to New York City. Caroline has given up her dream of being a pianist and has moved to New Orleans. She works as a cocktail waitress in a shabby club, drinks too much, avoids relationships, and distances herself from her mother and sister.
The three Winters women each carries guilt over Ellie’s disappearance. Each believes that it is somehow her fault. Madeline, expecting her first baby, wants to put Ellie’s memory to rest, and declare her sister dead, but Isabelle and Caroline can not give up hope.
When Isabelle is killed in a car accident on New Years Eve, Caroline decides to search for Ellie. Following a lead from a photo in People Magazine, Caroline heads off to Montana in search of her baby sister.
The story that follows is somewhat outrageous - filled with convenient coincidence and a sometimes outlandish plot. Despite this, Ms. Ward has written a compelling novel. While parts of the plot are not believable, all of the characters are. The novel kept me turning the pages, not because I wanted to know what happened next, but because I wanted to see the growth in the characters.
A bit mystery, a bit romance, a bit coming of age novel; this book is satisfying. Ward weaves together an ending that doesn’t tell us if and how the characters live happily ever after, but which lets us feel the healing process that they experience. I very much enjoyed reading this book, and despite its faults, I highly recommend it.
March 14, 2013
This is a quick read, and while the plot is compelling, the book rings a little hollow. I would have liked a little more character development, and I didn't like the whole 'Alaskan Hunks' angle - I can't believe Agnes couldn't have written to someone else? Also, they never made it clear how Bernard took her; Isabelle must have suspected where Ellie was but never seems to have made any attempt to contact her. I figured that maybe Isabelle 'allowed' the kidnapping, because things were so bad at home - but that wasn't really clear. And Agnes/Ellie would have remembered some other things about her childhood - her sisters at least. I can't believe that a 5 year old would go so willingly. And the sisters' relationship with their father was left unresolved/explained (we know they didn't like him, but we don't know how their mother finally rid herself of him). There were just a lot of loose ends and much of the story is told on the surface. So, it's just OK.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 31, 2012
I really enjoyed the writing and flow of this book. It took just a little bit to get into the flow of the story-telling which changed throughout the book from one character's perspective, to another character's written correspondence, to a recounting of another set of characters' pasts. It was really interesting and kept my attention. Even when I felt like I understood the "mystery" of the book, I was intrigued and a bit on the edge of my seat to see how things would play out. Quite a few beautiful themes and messages woven into the story. (Also more than a handful or two of "F bombs" for those who are sensitive to that, but not an overwhelming amount.)
February 23, 2013
I felt this book lacked serious depth. Much of the search for the adult Ellie was unbelievable and seemed like a lot of good luck chances. The other part that bothered me the most was the actual transistion of the abduction. I realize that children abducted may eventually believe their new life is real, but even at 5, I don't think she would have believed that her name was different, and that her dad was different, and her mom was dead all on the first day. Although this part being told from the perspective of the adult "Ellie" is obviously jaded with the passage of time, which may have been the author's intention.
April 17, 2017
I tend to read several books at more or less the same time. It's no different, I often tell bewildered family members, than keeping track of the characters and story lines of TV series. However, once again, my progress in some of my other current reading options has been minimal, for, once again, Amanda Eyre Ward's story and characters and settings were where I preferred to be. Her stories are, for me, totally and enjoyably engrossing--and while each (How to be Lost and Sleep Toward Heaven and Same Sky) has been a stand alone novel with perfectly satisfying resolutions, I'm already checking library lists for yet another of her books.
July 4, 2012
This was a really good book overall. Usually when I read a book I try to gain something out of it to make myself a better person; in this case, it was to appreciate my mother much more than I do. Other than that, it was sort of frustrating. The grammar bothered me, as did Madeline's moodiness. Caroline was, at best, forgettable. However, the plot twists were great, and I had many thrills getting thrown for a loop over and over again. The ending was awful; are you telling me that Madeline, Caroline, and Ellie (Agnes) don't get a reunion scene? Not. Cool.
November 10, 2018
I was traveling last month and found this under the bed in a guest room where I was staying. I'm so glad I did! This is a lovely and well-crafted story about the scars of loss and the bonds of sisterhood, culminating in an ending that left me filled with hope. The shifts in time and perspective could be confusing but Ward handles them beautifully and the puzzle comes together elegantly, piece by piece, with the final one dropped into place only in the last few pages. A real gem.
January 28, 2019
A nice easy read that kept me turning the pages. Before I knew it I’d read the whole thing on my flight.
Nicely written and an interesting take on the kidnapped child storyline showing how so many stories intertwine to create the tragedy. A nice little ending too.
Nicely written and an interesting take on the kidnapped child storyline showing how so many stories intertwine to create the tragedy. A nice little ending too.
July 10, 2024
I thought this was an extremely interesting novel with the way it was told. The way it alternated between the narration of the main first-person character (Caroline), the events in the past in italics, and letters from the Desk of Agnes Fowler. I thoroughly enjoyed the way all three came together in the end and the ending of this novel brought me to chills.
I wasn't sure exactly how it was going to end right up to the very last paragraph.
I was hoping for the end I wanted, but the author doesn't give it away at all. Amanda Eyre Ward was masterful in the way she told this story. It really is an extremely unique mixture of family memoir and detective novel.
I loved following Caroline around Missoula, Montana as she searched for her younger sister twenty or so years later, who went missing at the age of five. I used to live there in the late 1990's so I was familiar with all the places and bars she describes, and I have to say she did an incredibly accurate job. This book was published in 2004 so it was very close to the time I lived in Missoula. I also used to live in the Wilma Building so when Caroline temporarily takes a cheap apartment there, I was surprised and very happy. She even described the landlady Diane exactly as I remembered her. There was also a rumor going around that the hallways of that old building inspired David Lynch with his designs for Blue Velvet, so that kind of gives you an idea of the otherworldliness of it.
But this wasn't the only reason I really loved Amanda Eyre Ward's novel.
Her writing was very descriptive but also concise and the chapters were not very long and hopped between the three perspectives masterfully. The reader becomes a detective as the novel progresses as we try to understand, and then start to see how the three perspectives are connected and will eventually resolve the novel to a truly wonderful conclusion.
I have all of this author's novels on my TBR list now.
I wasn't sure exactly how it was going to end right up to the very last paragraph.
I was hoping for the end I wanted, but the author doesn't give it away at all. Amanda Eyre Ward was masterful in the way she told this story. It really is an extremely unique mixture of family memoir and detective novel.
I loved following Caroline around Missoula, Montana as she searched for her younger sister twenty or so years later, who went missing at the age of five. I used to live there in the late 1990's so I was familiar with all the places and bars she describes, and I have to say she did an incredibly accurate job. This book was published in 2004 so it was very close to the time I lived in Missoula. I also used to live in the Wilma Building so when Caroline temporarily takes a cheap apartment there, I was surprised and very happy. She even described the landlady Diane exactly as I remembered her. There was also a rumor going around that the hallways of that old building inspired David Lynch with his designs for Blue Velvet, so that kind of gives you an idea of the otherworldliness of it.
But this wasn't the only reason I really loved Amanda Eyre Ward's novel.
Her writing was very descriptive but also concise and the chapters were not very long and hopped between the three perspectives masterfully. The reader becomes a detective as the novel progresses as we try to understand, and then start to see how the three perspectives are connected and will eventually resolve the novel to a truly wonderful conclusion.
I have all of this author's novels on my TBR list now.
September 5, 2016
I was contemplating whether to leave this review until I had calmed down, but I thought it was best to just say this fresh off the bat. This book was awful. The writing was bland and childlike; I honestly had to reread sections to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. Some parts didn't even make sense! The constant description of what type of makeup the character was wearing, the name of the lipstick she had on, blah blah blah...
The characters were dislikable; there was no room for you to build a connection. The speedy dialogue and constant of vocabulary such as 'uh' or 'oh' made them seem goddamn stupid. I can see what the author was attempting in some of the conversational aspects in the book; It seemed obvious to me she was trying to make it seem realistic, however, I thought that the repetitive use of 'oh' was just unnecessary.
The mother. Oh GOD, the mother. Where do I begin? Is it possible she was the most annoying character I've read about to date? She'd be talking about one thing, then be changing to a topic not even relevant. She was up, she was down. She said one thing, she did another.
I just couldn't get my head round the fact that there were so many irrelevant paragraphs and chapters. Everything moved so quickly it was so unrealistic. I will say that the good side to this was that it was over quicker.
Good points?
The plot had real potential. It was interesting, and I rather liked the inclusion of flashbacks (something I like to add within my own writing). It was just too flawed. And, again, unrealistic. I mean, come on, I know books aren't always meant to follow the rules of realism, but...
It basically follows a girl who's sister disappeared at 5 years old. 15 years later, her mother shows her a photograph in a magazine of a girl in Montana (they live just outside of NYC) who 'looks' like missing Ellie. Long story short, mum dies, Caroline (main character) goes to Montana to find her. On the way, she picks up a stray who tells her that her 'sister' is just like her and doesn't want to be found (oh yeah, because a five year old navigated her way across America because she wanted to lead her own life). Caroline finds out the girl in the picture is not Ellie but a stripper called Olivia (another runaway) going under the name Charlene. And she just so happens to look identical to her actual sister, who is- wait for it- ALSO living in Montana. Basically, the mother was engaged before she met her daughters father and married him. The guy also married somebody else. He had a child and the child drowned. He reconnected with the mother who was unhappily married and she was going to leave her family for him but didn't. He got angry and ended up stealing her youngest child... PHEW. We made it. A lot to take in right?
This book, may I add, 'invites comparison to The Lovely Bones' according to People Magazine- well, i suppose that says it all really doesn't it. Nick Hornby went as far as to say 'It has that lovely tone that only American women writers seem to be able to achieve' whatever the hell that means.
All in all. I would not recommend this book to anybody (my complete subjective opinion). And the ending. Oh, the ending is a killer, just incase you do happen to read it. It ends with Ellie (otherwise known now as Agnes) turning up at their home. Caroline sees somebody who she thought was her mother, and... The end. Finished. Kaput.
1 star for trying.
The characters were dislikable; there was no room for you to build a connection. The speedy dialogue and constant of vocabulary such as 'uh' or 'oh' made them seem goddamn stupid. I can see what the author was attempting in some of the conversational aspects in the book; It seemed obvious to me she was trying to make it seem realistic, however, I thought that the repetitive use of 'oh' was just unnecessary.
The mother. Oh GOD, the mother. Where do I begin? Is it possible she was the most annoying character I've read about to date? She'd be talking about one thing, then be changing to a topic not even relevant. She was up, she was down. She said one thing, she did another.
I just couldn't get my head round the fact that there were so many irrelevant paragraphs and chapters. Everything moved so quickly it was so unrealistic. I will say that the good side to this was that it was over quicker.
Good points?
The plot had real potential. It was interesting, and I rather liked the inclusion of flashbacks (something I like to add within my own writing). It was just too flawed. And, again, unrealistic. I mean, come on, I know books aren't always meant to follow the rules of realism, but...
It basically follows a girl who's sister disappeared at 5 years old. 15 years later, her mother shows her a photograph in a magazine of a girl in Montana (they live just outside of NYC) who 'looks' like missing Ellie. Long story short, mum dies, Caroline (main character) goes to Montana to find her. On the way, she picks up a stray who tells her that her 'sister' is just like her and doesn't want to be found (oh yeah, because a five year old navigated her way across America because she wanted to lead her own life). Caroline finds out the girl in the picture is not Ellie but a stripper called Olivia (another runaway) going under the name Charlene. And she just so happens to look identical to her actual sister, who is- wait for it- ALSO living in Montana. Basically, the mother was engaged before she met her daughters father and married him. The guy also married somebody else. He had a child and the child drowned. He reconnected with the mother who was unhappily married and she was going to leave her family for him but didn't. He got angry and ended up stealing her youngest child... PHEW. We made it. A lot to take in right?
This book, may I add, 'invites comparison to The Lovely Bones' according to People Magazine- well, i suppose that says it all really doesn't it. Nick Hornby went as far as to say 'It has that lovely tone that only American women writers seem to be able to achieve' whatever the hell that means.
All in all. I would not recommend this book to anybody (my complete subjective opinion). And the ending. Oh, the ending is a killer, just incase you do happen to read it. It ends with Ellie (otherwise known now as Agnes) turning up at their home. Caroline sees somebody who she thought was her mother, and... The end. Finished. Kaput.
1 star for trying.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 23, 2015
This is my first review on Goodreads so I hope it goes well - the standard is so high. Here goes...
Such an evocative word 'lost'. Gone, mislaid, a state of being no longer attainable, forgotten. A litttle girl is lost but her mum is also lost- in a different way. So are her sisters.
How to be Lost has a compelling idea at its core- but the unfolding story never quite matches the promise. Five year old Ellie disappears in unexplained circumstances and Amanada Eyre Ward examines the profound and continuing effect of this event on the lives of Ellie's sisters Caroline and Madeline and mother Isobelle.
Is Ellie alive? Will Caroline find her? If she is alive will Ellie want to be found? These questions are all answered one way or another.
The story begins promisingly - New Orleans cocktail waitress Caroline (no mean drinker) tries to wheedle out of spending Christmas with her mother (a tippler) in New York. She fails of course. We then learn that Madeline wants Ellie formally declared dead. Her mother and Caroline cling to belief Ellie is still alive. A photo in a magazine convinces them this is a the case. Caroline embarks on an odyssey to find her lost sister...in Montana. This is where the story loses traction and becomes peopled with odd, bad road movie characters, who are not very compelling, and Agnes, whom we meet through her correspondence with Hunks of Alaska. The device features so strongly we have to assume that Agnes is a significant character.
There are many ways to be lost- in the past, by failing to live up to your early promise, by moving across the country to get away from your family, being in an unhappy marriage, living in Montana. How to be Lost touches upon each of these, not always convincingly. Sometimes sentimental, sometimes satirical, the tone shifts unconvincingly at times.
The ending, after the tale meanders for a while, is quite sudden, but neat, and leaves us to speculate about how the relationships will develop. This is a nice touch.
Such an evocative word 'lost'. Gone, mislaid, a state of being no longer attainable, forgotten. A litttle girl is lost but her mum is also lost- in a different way. So are her sisters.
How to be Lost has a compelling idea at its core- but the unfolding story never quite matches the promise. Five year old Ellie disappears in unexplained circumstances and Amanada Eyre Ward examines the profound and continuing effect of this event on the lives of Ellie's sisters Caroline and Madeline and mother Isobelle.
Is Ellie alive? Will Caroline find her? If she is alive will Ellie want to be found? These questions are all answered one way or another.
The story begins promisingly - New Orleans cocktail waitress Caroline (no mean drinker) tries to wheedle out of spending Christmas with her mother (a tippler) in New York. She fails of course. We then learn that Madeline wants Ellie formally declared dead. Her mother and Caroline cling to belief Ellie is still alive. A photo in a magazine convinces them this is a the case. Caroline embarks on an odyssey to find her lost sister...in Montana. This is where the story loses traction and becomes peopled with odd, bad road movie characters, who are not very compelling, and Agnes, whom we meet through her correspondence with Hunks of Alaska. The device features so strongly we have to assume that Agnes is a significant character.
There are many ways to be lost- in the past, by failing to live up to your early promise, by moving across the country to get away from your family, being in an unhappy marriage, living in Montana. How to be Lost touches upon each of these, not always convincingly. Sometimes sentimental, sometimes satirical, the tone shifts unconvincingly at times.
The ending, after the tale meanders for a while, is quite sudden, but neat, and leaves us to speculate about how the relationships will develop. This is a nice touch.
July 7, 2011
I started and finished this book in one night. I have not done so in such a long time. Ms. Amanda Eyre Ward captured my attention with the first few chapters. There is a lot of flashbacks that help move the story along at a steady pace. It reminded me a bit of a lifetime movie that you happened to flip to and truly holds your attention to the very end. I enjoyed it for the most part, although at times I felt that some parts were rather rushed and was not a fan of how the ending. It just ended, just when everything comes together and you want to know what happens. I understand why the author did this as it makes the story more realistic and we as readers were only giving a glimpse into the lives of the Winters family. Overall, a good beach read. :)
January 8, 2009
A story about three sisters, Caroline who is a cocktail waitress in New Orleans, Madeline, pregnant, married and in New York and Ellie, the little sister who was lost when she was five years old. The book explores Caroline's journey to find her sister and herself. The book provides a few twists and surprises but the ending is trite, almost as though the author forgot to finish the book. My favorite line from the book (page 41): "When you are small, if you reach out, and nobody takes your hand, you stop reaching out and reach inside, instead."
August 23, 2007
I found the ending rather abrupt. However, I enjoyed the parallel storylines of the two women. The backstory seemed slightly tedious at times, but it was necessary to understand what'd happened; nothing revealed is gratuitous.
February 29, 2016
This book is very touching. The story draws the reader in immediately and keeps you reading to the end.
February 18, 2010
This book did not live up to my expectations. I enjoyed "Sleep Before Heaven," and through much of this book I found the writing appealing.
It's the story of a family with three sisters, the youngest of whom disappears at the age of 5. As expected, the rest of the family never recovers from that loss. No trace of the lost sister was ever found, until the events that occurred in the story.
Ward appeared to be styling this book as a mystery. Suddenly, letters from an unknown woman appear between the chapters. Later on a dream sequence appears, providing more background to the life of the mother in the novel, but only a limited amount of background.
The oldest sister, an apparent-alcoholic cocktail waitress living in New Orleans, follows a lead to Montana to find her sister. She meets a woman, Charlene, who she is convinced is the lost Ellie.
The middle sister's life appears shallow and lacking direction. Her character is not ever adequately filled in.
I found many inconsistencies in this book, as if it had not been adequately edited. The protagonist appears to be very impatient with her mother, and at first does not seem that upset when she dies, but later on seems devastated by it, and then appears to be much closer to her mother than originally described.
Ward gives us the impression that the daughters led a deeply unhappy family life, because of the unpredictable nature of their father's temper and apparent neglect by their mother. Yet later in the book the narrator describes her very early childhood (before Ellie was born) as happy. What happened to change all that? How did the father become scary? Did he find out about the wife's affair?
Most of the characters in this novel are not particularly likable or well fleshed out. The most intriguing character was Agnes, but even she was a mystery.
I kept reading until the end, assuming that the mysteries would be solved and I would have a better understanding of how things flowed together. Instead, at the ending, I wasn't sure if I understood the story at all. Who was Charlene? Just some runaway girl? The ending felt very dissapointing, and my rating of the book fell from 4 stars to 2.
It's the story of a family with three sisters, the youngest of whom disappears at the age of 5. As expected, the rest of the family never recovers from that loss. No trace of the lost sister was ever found, until the events that occurred in the story.
Ward appeared to be styling this book as a mystery. Suddenly, letters from an unknown woman appear between the chapters. Later on a dream sequence appears, providing more background to the life of the mother in the novel, but only a limited amount of background.
The oldest sister, an apparent-alcoholic cocktail waitress living in New Orleans, follows a lead to Montana to find her sister. She meets a woman, Charlene, who she is convinced is the lost Ellie.
The middle sister's life appears shallow and lacking direction. Her character is not ever adequately filled in.
I found many inconsistencies in this book, as if it had not been adequately edited. The protagonist appears to be very impatient with her mother, and at first does not seem that upset when she dies, but later on seems devastated by it, and then appears to be much closer to her mother than originally described.
Ward gives us the impression that the daughters led a deeply unhappy family life, because of the unpredictable nature of their father's temper and apparent neglect by their mother. Yet later in the book the narrator describes her very early childhood (before Ellie was born) as happy. What happened to change all that? How did the father become scary? Did he find out about the wife's affair?
Most of the characters in this novel are not particularly likable or well fleshed out. The most intriguing character was Agnes, but even she was a mystery.
I kept reading until the end, assuming that the mysteries would be solved and I would have a better understanding of how things flowed together. Instead, at the ending, I wasn't sure if I understood the story at all. Who was Charlene? Just some runaway girl? The ending felt very dissapointing, and my rating of the book fell from 4 stars to 2.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 6, 2011
So, I feel bad giving this a 2 star rating, because it wasn't a bad book. But the wording was pretty accurate that "It was ok." I think of that as similar to "It wasn't bad." I really feel that someone else might enjoy it a lot more because rather than a kidnapping story it's a story about the main character's relationships with her family and those around her after her sister's loss. However, I don't feel that point was driven home cleverly enough. In her journey to find her sister she encounters others who are lost like her sister (but both are runaways), but who don't want to be found. They have a life for themselves they seem okay with. These are foiled to herself and her immediate family who are also in a sense "lost" from each other but who desperately need each other and are waiting to be found. The ending is a mystery and I wish the book had been more about finding her sister because it ends on a cliffhanger, but that's not really the author's point.
I think I wanted the firm conclusion that everyone had been found in their own way but it ends just before we find that out.
PS, there is some use of strong profanity and there are two sex scenes, though mild.
I think I wanted the firm conclusion that everyone had been found in their own way but it ends just before we find that out.
PS, there is some use of strong profanity and there are two sex scenes, though mild.
September 29, 2007
This book was a very quick, easy read. I would have liked to see more character development with several of the characters. Also, there were many parts of the book, other than the characters, that I was hoping for the author to expand upon that she didn't. I don't want to give details because it will ruin what there is to the book!
I am used to reading many books with very detailed description focused on character development. In a sense, the very things I wished for the author to expand upon in this book are the very things that make this a good "break book" from the involved, heavier plots and development I am used to reading. In that sense, I give this book a thumbs up. The plot was interesting enough to keep my attention but not descriptive and detailed enough to become really involved with.
I recommend this book for readers who like a quick read and do not like to trudge through heavy detail and description or to readers who like to slide in an easy read among the heavier stuff.
I am used to reading many books with very detailed description focused on character development. In a sense, the very things I wished for the author to expand upon in this book are the very things that make this a good "break book" from the involved, heavier plots and development I am used to reading. In that sense, I give this book a thumbs up. The plot was interesting enough to keep my attention but not descriptive and detailed enough to become really involved with.
I recommend this book for readers who like a quick read and do not like to trudge through heavy detail and description or to readers who like to slide in an easy read among the heavier stuff.
February 20, 2008
I was really disappointed in this book. The premise was terrific -- two decades after the disappearance of her little sister, Caroline Winters sees a photo in a magazine that looks just like her missing sibling. After putting her life on hold (giving up Juilliard in favor of serving drinks in the Big Easy), Caroline must decide whether to give up the half-life she has in favor of finally discovering the truth about her absent sister.
The problem was that I didn't care about a single person in this tortuous narrative. Caroline is self-centered and immature; her remaining sister Madeline is a two-dimensional cut-out, and their mother is merely words on the page. The most compelling figures are the women Caroline works with in the bar, and they serve only as window dressing.
While it's a quick read, it really wasn't worth the effort for the lukewarm denouement.
The problem was that I didn't care about a single person in this tortuous narrative. Caroline is self-centered and immature; her remaining sister Madeline is a two-dimensional cut-out, and their mother is merely words on the page. The most compelling figures are the women Caroline works with in the bar, and they serve only as window dressing.
While it's a quick read, it really wasn't worth the effort for the lukewarm denouement.
February 22, 2010
Well-written, and interestingly constructed. I wasn't really grabbed by any of the characters though, despite it being a wrenching story. Too much drinking and smoking going on to make anyone truly likable! And Agnes was just weird. It reminded me a bit of a Jodi Picoult novel in terms of the storyline.
The best thing I can say is I read it in a day, it was almost unputdownable. And that means I read 2 books in one (otherwise busy) weekend. I haven't done that in the longest time, and it felt good!!
The best thing I can say is I read it in a day, it was almost unputdownable. And that means I read 2 books in one (otherwise busy) weekend. I haven't done that in the longest time, and it felt good!!
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