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The Monster I Loved: The true story of a young girl and her father's betrayal.
Shannon Clifton has waived her right to anonymity in this highly acclaimed, dark but deeply inspiring book. Raped by her father from age six and pregnant at eleven and again at thirteen, he kidnapped her and went on the run as the net eventually closed in around him. Shannon's story is not an easy read; she goes into graphic detail about her sexual, physical and mental abuse, which included being burned with an iron, hit with a hammer and even stabbed. Her father told her "it was something all fathers do with their daughters," and for a time she believed him. Shannon wrote this book to start making sense of her childhood and is currently studying towards a degree in Forensic Psychology to help understand what makes people evil. "It was a painful journey," she explains, “but it was worth it because I want to help others who have been through similar experiences."
- GenresMemoir
195 pages, Kindle Edition
Published December 14, 2019
136 people are currently reading
263 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews
July 1, 2021
This is a horrifying book. I gave 5 stars because of the courage it took for Shannon Clifton to write it, but her story is truly the worst thing I have ever read. Her father should have been hung for what he did to her. I hope he dies a terrible death in prison.
August 31, 2021
This was an awful story about the abuse of a helpless young girl at the hands of her father.
Shannon Clifton was dealt a shitty hand in life. abandoned by her mother at 5, her father in prison, she bounced from family member to family member trying to find a home. Little did anyone know, life would be HELL for her for very many years to come.
I hated this story. i hated it and i appreciate it. I appreciate the honesty, i appreciate rawness of it.
This woman was brutalized and abused and it is sickening that there are humans in this world capable of this type of treatment toward others.
I'm only giving this three stars because of all the typos i found in the text.
Shannon Clifton was dealt a shitty hand in life. abandoned by her mother at 5, her father in prison, she bounced from family member to family member trying to find a home. Little did anyone know, life would be HELL for her for very many years to come.
I hated this story. i hated it and i appreciate it. I appreciate the honesty, i appreciate rawness of it.
This woman was brutalized and abused and it is sickening that there are humans in this world capable of this type of treatment toward others.
I'm only giving this three stars because of all the typos i found in the text.
July 17, 2020
Brilliant and brave 👏
This book deserves the 5 stars because for Shannon to write about her trauma is brave. This book had me in tears, I have an 8 year old little girl and we live in Chaddesden, to think people like her father lived down the road from where I grew up, from where I'm raising my children. It has opened my eyes and for that I'm thankfull. You are truly a brave girl Shannon and I hope you book gets the praise it deserves ❤
This book deserves the 5 stars because for Shannon to write about her trauma is brave. This book had me in tears, I have an 8 year old little girl and we live in Chaddesden, to think people like her father lived down the road from where I grew up, from where I'm raising my children. It has opened my eyes and for that I'm thankfull. You are truly a brave girl Shannon and I hope you book gets the praise it deserves ❤
June 5, 2020
I hold myself in shame for initially judging this book for the quality of the writing. I read reviews first and can see a spatter of 3/4 stars, mainly giving lower ratings due to the grammatical and spelling errors. When I began reading it, I agreed. It is littered with them. However after emerging from the other side, the story just speaks for itself. It is fast paced and raw. The quality of the writing only reiterates the fact that a 19 year old is sharing her heart and history with the world. It is imperfect, inconsistent and fragmented. It is told both apathetic and ardent at the same time.
Being from Derby myself, it only amplified the horrors which Shannon was subject to. Knowing the the shops, the streets and the parks where her father abused her; and also knowing the institutions, like the schools, that her let down, is nothing short of harrowing.
This story speaks for itself. Shannon is fighting to find the words to encompass her past. There are no words that can ever explain or symbolise her trauma and the guilt her psyche possesses(d) for still loving her father. That is why the book is written the way it is. It is raw and true. It is a 19 year old girl's account of her trauma from 5 years old. She killed it.
Being from Derby myself, it only amplified the horrors which Shannon was subject to. Knowing the the shops, the streets and the parks where her father abused her; and also knowing the institutions, like the schools, that her let down, is nothing short of harrowing.
This story speaks for itself. Shannon is fighting to find the words to encompass her past. There are no words that can ever explain or symbolise her trauma and the guilt her psyche possesses(d) for still loving her father. That is why the book is written the way it is. It is raw and true. It is a 19 year old girl's account of her trauma from 5 years old. She killed it.
September 10, 2022
It needs a lot of courage to write about horrible stuff, and even more so, when you were the subject of the book. I have great respect for Shannon. That she is able to talk about her life and what has happened. I hope, it helps her and others.
About the story: I give it 5 stars. For one to honor the author and her courage. Otherwise, it is hard to rate something like that. It is horrible what happened to Shannon. What her father did to her. I hate it, that the authorities never did anything about it. They knew. After reading, I really had to sit there, and just think about that. They knew, and didn't do anything about it. I still can't understand, how humans know about things, but instead to intervene they look the other way around. Or shove it to someone else, and just hope something will happen. As long as they don't have to intervene themselves.
And the ending is showing, that a lot of people knew it, but let a little girl suffer. The real sad thing is, that isn't a single occurrence. It happens to thousands of children around the world. I wish I could help them. I really can't see myself not doing anything, when I know it. Children are innocent. They can't help themselves. And it should be the parents and families that protect them. But here again. Everyone failed Shannon. I'm horrified how lax the law is against such charges.
You would think, that the sentences were more grave. But as it seems, it is not much. 10 years for destroying the life of a child, who will never forget about that. It will be part of her whole life. Similar to her, I believe in positivity in life, and so I really believe, that this story will help others and help her heal. And perhaps it will save some children from a horrible experience.
Otherwise, the story isn't literary high-end. But that's not what the book is about.
About the story: I give it 5 stars. For one to honor the author and her courage. Otherwise, it is hard to rate something like that. It is horrible what happened to Shannon. What her father did to her. I hate it, that the authorities never did anything about it. They knew. After reading, I really had to sit there, and just think about that. They knew, and didn't do anything about it. I still can't understand, how humans know about things, but instead to intervene they look the other way around. Or shove it to someone else, and just hope something will happen. As long as they don't have to intervene themselves.
And the ending is showing, that a lot of people knew it, but let a little girl suffer. The real sad thing is, that isn't a single occurrence. It happens to thousands of children around the world. I wish I could help them. I really can't see myself not doing anything, when I know it. Children are innocent. They can't help themselves. And it should be the parents and families that protect them. But here again. Everyone failed Shannon. I'm horrified how lax the law is against such charges.
You would think, that the sentences were more grave. But as it seems, it is not much. 10 years for destroying the life of a child, who will never forget about that. It will be part of her whole life. Similar to her, I believe in positivity in life, and so I really believe, that this story will help others and help her heal. And perhaps it will save some children from a horrible experience.
Otherwise, the story isn't literary high-end. But that's not what the book is about.
April 9, 2020
It is always difficult to review a book like this as it seems almost offensive to criticise - after all, it is not meant to be ‘entertaining’ as such, and anyone who reads even the first few pages will surely come to this conclusion without hesitation. What is described in this book is appalling, raw and certainly not for the faint hearted. If you are in any way sensitive to, or triggered by, depictions of child abuse then you should walk a long way from this work. The author writes with a youthful clarity and bravery, and that, among many other personality traits that shine through, is to her credit.
Unfortunately, however, it is just not very well written. The book is littered with errors; from irregularities in grammar to basic spelling mistakes. This makes it had to persevere through the chapters, my sheer will to see the author gain respite from her torture the only thing sustaining my page turning finger. And, indeed, the story of hope she courageously offers at the end of the book is the best part, as is so often the case - such raw human emotion need not always be prosaic, perfect and grammatically on point. The strength shown here by the author is no doubt inspiring, and I do not regret completing the book. Would I recommend it to someone, however? I’m afraid to say, no.
On that note, I wish to clarify again I by no means wish to take anything away from the author and any other victim of the appalling crimes depicted. But it is difficult to engage with such a disjointed narrative, and as such the uplifting moments (such as they should be) lack the impact they could have for a reader who seeks more than to gawp at the gory details.
Unfortunately, however, it is just not very well written. The book is littered with errors; from irregularities in grammar to basic spelling mistakes. This makes it had to persevere through the chapters, my sheer will to see the author gain respite from her torture the only thing sustaining my page turning finger. And, indeed, the story of hope she courageously offers at the end of the book is the best part, as is so often the case - such raw human emotion need not always be prosaic, perfect and grammatically on point. The strength shown here by the author is no doubt inspiring, and I do not regret completing the book. Would I recommend it to someone, however? I’m afraid to say, no.
On that note, I wish to clarify again I by no means wish to take anything away from the author and any other victim of the appalling crimes depicted. But it is difficult to engage with such a disjointed narrative, and as such the uplifting moments (such as they should be) lack the impact they could have for a reader who seeks more than to gawp at the gory details.
April 18, 2021
This is a strange book to rate, but without a question it deserves 5 stars. I read this entire book today and I couldn’t put it down. It was a constant assault, so immensely raw and powerful.
I went to school with Shannon, and so I knew some of the anonymised characters and places she was talking about, which made it all too real. There were times throughout the book where my heart sped up and I had my head in my hands. Nobody knew the pain this poor girl had to endure.
Shannon lays it all on the table in this book. She tells her story from when she was 4/5 and her and her father were inseparable, she was a favourite child as her father thought the other 2 children might not be his. After he was sent to prison for beating up her mum in a pub car park, Shannon was abandoned and unwanted, traded between dysfunctional households of her extended family until her father was released and she moved in with him at 6. However, he started becoming more angry and violent before her, and this gradually turned into plain and simple torture. Narcissistic abuse, rape, punching and kicking until at one point she was in bed black and blue for a week. She was threatened with death and came close to it a few times as she lays out in the book, and this all went on under the noses of authorities and the schools, nobody helped her.
She also explains the psychology of why she felt attached to her father despite the abuse (Stockholm Syndrome), and lays out her ordeals right up until and including the dramas surrounding the publishing of this book.
She is an incredibly brave person. If you're looking for highbrow literary genius, this isn't necessarily it. But if you're looking for a cut-throat, real life story that teaches you about a dysfunctional subworld that's hidden in plain sight, read it.
Take care, Shannon.
I went to school with Shannon, and so I knew some of the anonymised characters and places she was talking about, which made it all too real. There were times throughout the book where my heart sped up and I had my head in my hands. Nobody knew the pain this poor girl had to endure.
Shannon lays it all on the table in this book. She tells her story from when she was 4/5 and her and her father were inseparable, she was a favourite child as her father thought the other 2 children might not be his. After he was sent to prison for beating up her mum in a pub car park, Shannon was abandoned and unwanted, traded between dysfunctional households of her extended family until her father was released and she moved in with him at 6. However, he started becoming more angry and violent before her, and this gradually turned into plain and simple torture. Narcissistic abuse, rape, punching and kicking until at one point she was in bed black and blue for a week. She was threatened with death and came close to it a few times as she lays out in the book, and this all went on under the noses of authorities and the schools, nobody helped her.
She also explains the psychology of why she felt attached to her father despite the abuse (Stockholm Syndrome), and lays out her ordeals right up until and including the dramas surrounding the publishing of this book.
She is an incredibly brave person. If you're looking for highbrow literary genius, this isn't necessarily it. But if you're looking for a cut-throat, real life story that teaches you about a dysfunctional subworld that's hidden in plain sight, read it.
Take care, Shannon.
December 2, 2020
Warrior!
Shannon is an amazing young girl and a voice for survivors of abuse. Her story is shocking, gut wrenching and tragic. But she is a survior and I wish her the very best with life. She deserves true happiness and I can't express how brave she is to speak out about what happened to her. She should never be ashamed only her father and the others who failed her in so many levels should feel shame, she should be extremely proud of herself. She will break the cycle of abuse within her family and I see her doing great things in her future.
How can this be allowed to happen in Britain or anywhere in the world. How can all these people have let it happen. It angers me that this is still happening.
As for her 'father' I hope he feels the pain that he inflicted on shannon tenfold every day for the rest of his miserable life!!
Shannon is an amazing young girl and a voice for survivors of abuse. Her story is shocking, gut wrenching and tragic. But she is a survior and I wish her the very best with life. She deserves true happiness and I can't express how brave she is to speak out about what happened to her. She should never be ashamed only her father and the others who failed her in so many levels should feel shame, she should be extremely proud of herself. She will break the cycle of abuse within her family and I see her doing great things in her future.
How can this be allowed to happen in Britain or anywhere in the world. How can all these people have let it happen. It angers me that this is still happening.
As for her 'father' I hope he feels the pain that he inflicted on shannon tenfold every day for the rest of his miserable life!!
February 7, 2020
I could not put this down!
It is shocking that this was allowed to happen, even though concerns were raised by neighbours about a child in danger! My heart goes out to this brave woman for coming forward and getting her story out there as shocking and heartbreaking as it is! I hope Shannon finds some peace in her life, she deserves it! I hope that all the ‘authorities’ who continued to let this young girl continue to be tortured and raped and beaten, feel utterly ashamed of themselves! I hope it haunts them for the rest of their days, because while they may not have abused this child, they may as well have because they did not stop it! That is unforgivable and they should be facing a prison sentence also.
It is shocking that this was allowed to happen, even though concerns were raised by neighbours about a child in danger! My heart goes out to this brave woman for coming forward and getting her story out there as shocking and heartbreaking as it is! I hope Shannon finds some peace in her life, she deserves it! I hope that all the ‘authorities’ who continued to let this young girl continue to be tortured and raped and beaten, feel utterly ashamed of themselves! I hope it haunts them for the rest of their days, because while they may not have abused this child, they may as well have because they did not stop it! That is unforgivable and they should be facing a prison sentence also.
May 19, 2021
She got back up and kept fighting.
Shannan’s story was at times hard to read when she told of the horrors of her young life. To feel like no one loved you, cared about you, or didn’t try to help you to get away from the true monster who called himself her father had to have been the worst and hardest thing to live through. He has no right to that title because a father loves, protects and nurturers you from the time you’re born. This man should never see the light of day again. Her mother wasn’t a mother either so she also has no right to that title. This girl is her own hero and is the only person she could truly count on. I hope she writes another book about the second chapter of her life because I’d love to know how she prevails.
Shannan’s story was at times hard to read when she told of the horrors of her young life. To feel like no one loved you, cared about you, or didn’t try to help you to get away from the true monster who called himself her father had to have been the worst and hardest thing to live through. He has no right to that title because a father loves, protects and nurturers you from the time you’re born. This man should never see the light of day again. Her mother wasn’t a mother either so she also has no right to that title. This girl is her own hero and is the only person she could truly count on. I hope she writes another book about the second chapter of her life because I’d love to know how she prevails.
June 13, 2020
Harrowing ❤️
As a child therapist you are the exact reason I do the job I do. Far to many children are suffering at the hands of people who are meant to protect and love them. You are the same age as my eldest son.. thinking of you growing up so abused, parallel to him growing up with all the love and support he had.. makes me want to wrap you in my arms and bring you home to care for properly.. the child you obviously.. keep taking each day as it comes.. and focus on your future. It is going to be bright and full of compassion and drive to make a change. Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story x
As a child therapist you are the exact reason I do the job I do. Far to many children are suffering at the hands of people who are meant to protect and love them. You are the same age as my eldest son.. thinking of you growing up so abused, parallel to him growing up with all the love and support he had.. makes me want to wrap you in my arms and bring you home to care for properly.. the child you obviously.. keep taking each day as it comes.. and focus on your future. It is going to be bright and full of compassion and drive to make a change. Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story x
January 21, 2020
A gripping if harrowing and horrific read. My heart goes out to anyone, child or otherwise suffering abuse. At the level that Shannon Clifton endured one wonders and admires her determination to overcome the haunting memories she lives with daily. That her Father should get away so lightly and the authorities prove so totally incompetent is shocking. What the hell do we pay our taxes for, if not to protect the vulnerable and those in need. I feel anger that Shannon and others were so let down by the powers that be.
January 20, 2021
5 Stars! Wish there was 10
What can I say? This lady is a true survivor. The misery and torture she has gone through in her short life is horrifying. Time and time again the adults in Shannon's life failed her. The way she was past from pillar to post as a young child to then eventually be submerged into traumatic abuse and torture from the one person that should have protected her. This book was hard to read, but was enthralling at the same time. The detail Shannon recounts and how she deals with it is a testament to her.
What can I say? This lady is a true survivor. The misery and torture she has gone through in her short life is horrifying. Time and time again the adults in Shannon's life failed her. The way she was past from pillar to post as a young child to then eventually be submerged into traumatic abuse and torture from the one person that should have protected her. This book was hard to read, but was enthralling at the same time. The detail Shannon recounts and how she deals with it is a testament to her.
July 1, 2024
This book was very therapeutic, of a lack of a better word, for me to read. I did have to have a break in the middle of reading, I don’t think this is a book anyone should read in one sitting. This book deals with very heavy topics and you should allow yourself to breath while reading.
I didn’t go through nearly as traumatic stuff as Shannon Clifton but it made me come to terms with some of the trauma that I face as a child.
Thank you for being able to write such a book and I wish Shannon all the best for her life.
I didn’t go through nearly as traumatic stuff as Shannon Clifton but it made me come to terms with some of the trauma that I face as a child.
Thank you for being able to write such a book and I wish Shannon all the best for her life.
February 9, 2020
This book is a fast but hard read. Reading what Shannon went through at the hands of her father was heartbreaking. And made even worse that many MANY people spoke out about what might have been happening to her and that no one in a place of authority really did anything to help her.
I will say though that I am honestly shocked that a publisher is behind this book. It needed some serious editing done.
I will say though that I am honestly shocked that a publisher is behind this book. It needed some serious editing done.
June 12, 2020
A hard read but bravely written. Some tough pages, tissues needed and head full of thoughts. The fact she never gave up hope after her harrowing experience is something we should all learn from. I wish her well for the future and I hope she goes on to achieve what she deserves and can make a change.
So sad that is this day and age people are still being let down by the people and authorities that are there to protect us all.
So sad that is this day and age people are still being let down by the people and authorities that are there to protect us all.
July 5, 2020
Heartbreaking!!
This is unbelievably sad that we live in a world where this went unnoticed, how the hell does this happen, this is the one of the saddest books I’ve read, Caitlyn, I hope you go on in life and show this evil pig that you can live a happy life despite the horrors he’s put you through, may this book be the start of a much much happier life for you. Maybe one day he will be man enough to accept the damage he’s done to you, but be strong and go on. And good luck
This is unbelievably sad that we live in a world where this went unnoticed, how the hell does this happen, this is the one of the saddest books I’ve read, Caitlyn, I hope you go on in life and show this evil pig that you can live a happy life despite the horrors he’s put you through, may this book be the start of a much much happier life for you. Maybe one day he will be man enough to accept the damage he’s done to you, but be strong and go on. And good luck
July 8, 2020
Heartbreaking! YOU are the most amazing and bravest women i know.
Thankyou shannon for them powerful words at the end, they were beautiful!
I dont normally read books but a friend who knows you told me how successful you were with publising a book and i thought i would subscribe to amazon and give it a read.
The book was making me tear up and i hope it goes world wide for you xxxxx
Thankyou shannon for them powerful words at the end, they were beautiful!
I dont normally read books but a friend who knows you told me how successful you were with publising a book and i thought i would subscribe to amazon and give it a read.
The book was making me tear up and i hope it goes world wide for you xxxxx
August 21, 2020
Shannon has come from hell and is striving for a better life for herself and is a credit to herself! Nobody should ever have to endure what she went through especially from a parent who is supposed to protect you from the evils in this world however when the evil is a parent your fighting a long battle
A truly amazing book, hard hitting at times but a great read
Everyone should read this book
I've given it to my mum to read now
Keep Fighting Shannon, your amazing!
A truly amazing book, hard hitting at times but a great read
Everyone should read this book
I've given it to my mum to read now
Keep Fighting Shannon, your amazing!
October 28, 2020
At times a difficult read, but Shannon deserves to have her voice heard.
Well written book, by a young woman who had no previous experience, someone I'm sure can only improve over time.
A very difficult story to tell, but one I'm sure will give many other readers some insight into the terrible truth that goes on behind some doors. Hopefully many our institutions will see this book and reflect on their own practices.
Well written book, by a young woman who had no previous experience, someone I'm sure can only improve over time.
A very difficult story to tell, but one I'm sure will give many other readers some insight into the terrible truth that goes on behind some doors. Hopefully many our institutions will see this book and reflect on their own practices.
March 7, 2021
Outstanding bravery
I read a lot of books like this, some have me sobbing like a baby, as a survivor of this type of abuse also it makes me so very proud when I read someone else's story, theirs is usually far worse, the survivor are truly inspiring, the stories break my heart , but their fight, bravery and courage leaves me in awe. Shannon, I truly hope you go on to have a glorious life, good luck to you sweetheart, you are one amazing young lady.
I read a lot of books like this, some have me sobbing like a baby, as a survivor of this type of abuse also it makes me so very proud when I read someone else's story, theirs is usually far worse, the survivor are truly inspiring, the stories break my heart , but their fight, bravery and courage leaves me in awe. Shannon, I truly hope you go on to have a glorious life, good luck to you sweetheart, you are one amazing young lady.
July 23, 2023
The Monster I Loved is based on Shannon's life and the torment/rape of her father and her family's disregard for Shannon's life or wellbeing. The writing is obvious that she is not an author which makes it seem more real to me but the editor who put this together clearly had no common sense. I will say the strength Shannon had to give her child up for adoption is a strength not many people had. There are a lot of triggers in this book and it is not for the faint of heart.
February 27, 2025
This is a brilliant book. It is graphic about what Shannon went through which is absolutely awful and heartbreaking. I'm Derby born and bred and recognised some of the places. I couldn't put it down and read it in a day. Shannon's Dad deserves to rot in prison for what he did.
Thank you Shannon for being strong and telling us your story, keep being strong and I wish you all the best for your future.
Thank you Shannon for being strong and telling us your story, keep being strong and I wish you all the best for your future.
January 30, 2020
Total page turner.
Could not put this book down. What this young girl went through and is now able to write a book and tell the world about is beyond inspirational. She has my utmost respect! It just breaks my heart such a young girl has had this start in life. But she writes a good book so I have no doubt her next chapter in life will be so much better. Well done Shannon
Could not put this book down. What this young girl went through and is now able to write a book and tell the world about is beyond inspirational. She has my utmost respect! It just breaks my heart such a young girl has had this start in life. But she writes a good book so I have no doubt her next chapter in life will be so much better. Well done Shannon
March 15, 2020
Amazing
I was wary of reading this book,but I'm so glad I did. Shannon Clifton deserves to be heard,what an amazing young lady she is. Book is extremely well written not overly descriptive of some actions thankfully but I couldn't put it down.
Should be given to young women to read so if this happens again they know that they are not alone.
I was wary of reading this book,but I'm so glad I did. Shannon Clifton deserves to be heard,what an amazing young lady she is. Book is extremely well written not overly descriptive of some actions thankfully but I couldn't put it down.
Should be given to young women to read so if this happens again they know that they are not alone.
March 31, 2020
Heartbreaking.
This is truely heartbreaking to read. Shannon is a true inspiration for anyone who has had a bad start in life but does not let that define their future. I hope this book is a success and all your dreams and aspirations come true because you truely deserve the best future ❤
This is truely heartbreaking to read. Shannon is a true inspiration for anyone who has had a bad start in life but does not let that define their future. I hope this book is a success and all your dreams and aspirations come true because you truely deserve the best future ❤
February 24, 2022
I have never read anything like it! The strength that this amazing woman has is second to none she deserves all the health and happiness in the world! She is amazing! How brave to tell her harrowing story and still have the heart to inspire and support others in similar situations! I hope that man dies a very torturous death for what he did to that lovely girl
January 4, 2025
I am not a non fiction girly but I loved this book. It is such a heartbreaking story of Shannon’s childhood and story of what she went through. I’m so glad she got the chance to tell her story in such a beautifully written way. I would be really interested in reading a second book about her life in adulthood where she ended up what she is doing now
January 24, 2020
A harrowing story
A no holds barred account by an incredibly brave young lady. I doubt anyone could read this and not feel a deep sadness and dispair that such a terrible situation could have gone unchecked for so long.
A no holds barred account by an incredibly brave young lady. I doubt anyone could read this and not feel a deep sadness and dispair that such a terrible situation could have gone unchecked for so long.
June 7, 2020
Heartbreaking, true story of a survivor
Absolutely heartbreaking to read, but such an amazing, strong young lady! "a survivor" from a horrendous childhood.
Good luck for your future I hope your dreams come true x
Absolutely heartbreaking to read, but such an amazing, strong young lady! "a survivor" from a horrendous childhood.
Good luck for your future I hope your dreams come true x
Displaying 1 - 30 of 56 reviews