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Sinful Secrets #4
Wrath
Alternate cover edition of ASIN B093G1KC36.
Josh Miller.
That's his name, but I just call him DG for Do Gooder.
This guy is relentless. All-American, baby-faced, blue-eyed band dork who's not a band dork at all, because you can't be a dork when you're getting scouted to play college soccer. When he's not doing music or sports, DG is counting up his Boy Scout badges or front-rowing it at the First Baptist church.
DG is my new stepbrother. Little brother. I'm a whole year older, not that he knows. I don't think he knows I'm starting senior year a whole year late. And he definitely doesn't know why. I've got secrets I'm taking with me to the grave.
Everyone thinks I came to play varsity football, but I've got other plans, and DG's trying to thwart them all. He's making my life worse than it already is.
Having him around is a damn plague. But I can fight back. I found out a little secret about Mr. Perfect. He plays for the "other" team. That ball bat he's got stuffed into his gray sweatpants—it swings "that" way. The best part about this twisted game is when I find out it gets hard for me.
The Do Gooder...he wants me. I don't know why. But I know how to make him pay.
--
Wrath is an emotional, forbidden MM romance that will be the fourth standalone in the bestselling Sinful Secrets collection, where each book is inspired by a sin and centered on a devastating secret.
Josh Miller.
That's his name, but I just call him DG for Do Gooder.
This guy is relentless. All-American, baby-faced, blue-eyed band dork who's not a band dork at all, because you can't be a dork when you're getting scouted to play college soccer. When he's not doing music or sports, DG is counting up his Boy Scout badges or front-rowing it at the First Baptist church.
DG is my new stepbrother. Little brother. I'm a whole year older, not that he knows. I don't think he knows I'm starting senior year a whole year late. And he definitely doesn't know why. I've got secrets I'm taking with me to the grave.
Everyone thinks I came to play varsity football, but I've got other plans, and DG's trying to thwart them all. He's making my life worse than it already is.
Having him around is a damn plague. But I can fight back. I found out a little secret about Mr. Perfect. He plays for the "other" team. That ball bat he's got stuffed into his gray sweatpants—it swings "that" way. The best part about this twisted game is when I find out it gets hard for me.
The Do Gooder...he wants me. I don't know why. But I know how to make him pay.
--
Wrath is an emotional, forbidden MM romance that will be the fourth standalone in the bestselling Sinful Secrets collection, where each book is inspired by a sin and centered on a devastating secret.
712 pages, ebook
First published September 30, 2021
2278 people are currently reading
12868 people want to read
About the author
Ella James
75 books5,802 followersElla James is the USA Today + Amazon Top 10 bestselling author of more than twenty books. Ella lives in Colorado with her husband and three kids. When she's not writing, you can find her in the foothills.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,048 reviews
February 1, 2022
Would’ve been way better if half the chapters didn’t exist
October 6, 2021
Well... that was disappointing.
Unpoular opinion....
This book could have been cut in half for me. It was too long, without it needing to be imo.
I skimmed ALOT .. I precisely DNFed at the 40% mark but kept on skimming till the end.
Maybe it as me and not the book? Maybe it was the case of wrong book at the wrong time? I donno... What a bummer though.
With all the angst and twosts and turns, I just felt bored. Sigh
Oh well... onward and upward
Unpoular opinion....
This book could have been cut in half for me. It was too long, without it needing to be imo.
I skimmed ALOT .. I precisely DNFed at the 40% mark but kept on skimming till the end.
Maybe it as me and not the book? Maybe it was the case of wrong book at the wrong time? I donno... What a bummer though.
With all the angst and twosts and turns, I just felt bored. Sigh
Oh well... onward and upward
September 30, 2021
***I received an ARC from the author in exchange for an honest review.***
Initial Reaction: An Epic Masterpiece!!! This story is a beautiful journey that perfectly encapsulates a bully, forbidden, and second chance love story.
So many moments while reading left me shocked, heartbroken, and desperate to keep reading. This magnificent love story is easily one of my all-time favorites.
Miller and Ezra are soul mates first and stepbrothers second, their journey to their HEA is filled with angst and shocking reveals that tackle abuse and mental health while navigating their complicated situation.
Their love story is hauntingly beautiful and lingers after the last page. I was a witness to their love story that initially began as a bully romance with familiar tropes, then blossomed into a forbidden romance where the rug is literally pulled out from under you.
The next part of the story is full of shocking reveals that broke my heart but allowed for the second chance portion of their romance to hit all my emotions perfectly. I cannot fully express my joy and satisfaction after reading Wrath. It took me to so many places emotionally and I expect it to linger for a while, that is how powerful the impact Ezra and Miller have.
I fully recommend this EPIC love story. It left me speechless at times and eagerly anticipating what happens next. Enjoy this Story!!!
Initial Reaction: An Epic Masterpiece!!! This story is a beautiful journey that perfectly encapsulates a bully, forbidden, and second chance love story.
So many moments while reading left me shocked, heartbroken, and desperate to keep reading. This magnificent love story is easily one of my all-time favorites.
Miller and Ezra are soul mates first and stepbrothers second, their journey to their HEA is filled with angst and shocking reveals that tackle abuse and mental health while navigating their complicated situation.
Their love story is hauntingly beautiful and lingers after the last page. I was a witness to their love story that initially began as a bully romance with familiar tropes, then blossomed into a forbidden romance where the rug is literally pulled out from under you.
The next part of the story is full of shocking reveals that broke my heart but allowed for the second chance portion of their romance to hit all my emotions perfectly. I cannot fully express my joy and satisfaction after reading Wrath. It took me to so many places emotionally and I expect it to linger for a while, that is how powerful the impact Ezra and Miller have.
I fully recommend this EPIC love story. It left me speechless at times and eagerly anticipating what happens next. Enjoy this Story!!!
October 17, 2021
4 solid stars up to 90% of the story.
2 stars for the last 10%.
This one really worked for me.
📌 Very angsty, emotional.
📌 Loved the pace the author gave to make the enemy to lovers transition feel believable.
📌 The guys' connection was off the charts,
📌 super chemistry
📌 hot as hell
What I didn't like:
⬇⬇ The miscommunication.
⬇⬇ The last 10% of the story. It felt like the author wanted to wrap everything in a perfectly tied bow before the end when there was no need. It's ok leaving some things in the open. A short epilogue would have done the job nicely.
2 stars for the last 10%.
This one really worked for me.
📌 Very angsty, emotional.
📌 Loved the pace the author gave to make the enemy to lovers transition feel believable.
📌 The guys' connection was off the charts,
📌 super chemistry
📌 hot as hell
What I didn't like:
⬇⬇ The miscommunication.
⬇⬇ The last 10% of the story. It felt like the author wanted to wrap everything in a perfectly tied bow before the end when there was no need. It's ok leaving some things in the open. A short epilogue would have done the job nicely.
May 27, 2023
— 5 stars ☆
the fact. that i. have to. process this. and can't even. speak in full. sentences. says. more than. enough. 🥰
there's no easy way of saying this - ezrajosh serve the soulmates and destined to be vibes even if this isn't even a fantasy book. ilybsm you have no idea how much, babes <3
(and. i didn't even feel like it was really 712 pages?? like how fast did i read it 🤭)
the fact. that i. have to. process this. and can't even. speak in full. sentences. says. more than. enough. 🥰
❝I think I missed you, but I didn't know.❞
there's no easy way of saying this - ezrajosh serve the soulmates and destined to be vibes even if this isn't even a fantasy book. ilybsm you have no idea how much, babes <3
(and. i didn't even feel like it was really 712 pages?? like how fast did i read it 🤭)
❝I'm sorry. For what I did.❞ His body shudders. ❝I’m a dumbass.❞ All his words are choked groans.~ not me half-crying over how this was just everything 🥺
❝Hey, now. Don’t talk about my favorite person like that.❞
❝I'm your favorite person?❞ It sounds half sobbed.
❝Yeah you are, angel.❞
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February 9, 2025
|| 2.0 stars ||
This started out surprisingly good, but it quite quickly turned into smut, smut, and more smut. Sure, there was also a LOT of melodramatics and over-the-top love bombing during all that smut, but that certainly wasn’t any better. I truly got so bored of it after a while that I couldn’t help but start skimming. I was just over it. It was simply too dragged out, too repetitive, too over-dramatic, too sugary, and too smutty. It had 100 times too much angst, especially since the angst never led to any real conflict between them two; they were always so forgiving, always love-bombing. It was angst that led to nowhere but crying and love confessions.
And honestly, I felt so disappointed with how this turned out because I was really into it during the first 30% or so… I mean, really though, who on earth decided it would be a good idea to make this book 700 pages long? It had no business being over 400 pages maximum.
This started out surprisingly good, but it quite quickly turned into smut, smut, and more smut. Sure, there was also a LOT of melodramatics and over-the-top love bombing during all that smut, but that certainly wasn’t any better. I truly got so bored of it after a while that I couldn’t help but start skimming. I was just over it. It was simply too dragged out, too repetitive, too over-dramatic, too sugary, and too smutty. It had 100 times too much angst, especially since the angst never led to any real conflict between them two; they were always so forgiving, always love-bombing. It was angst that led to nowhere but crying and love confessions.
And honestly, I felt so disappointed with how this turned out because I was really into it during the first 30% or so… I mean, really though, who on earth decided it would be a good idea to make this book 700 pages long? It had no business being over 400 pages maximum.
June 25, 2025
"For infinity."
🎧 Please don't make any sudden moves
You don't know the half of the abuse
Here lies theriver sea of my tears
It took me i think damn near 2 months to read it cuz when i first started the audiobook i had sore throat plus flu (and little did i know this book would make me cry that much) so i paused at almost 50% for my own sanity but then it took me more than a month to resume and to no relief this was me the whole time once again
🎧 Angel, don't fly so close to me (my angel, don't close to me)
I'll pull you down eventually (eventually)
You don't want to lose those wings
People like me break beautiful things
Angel, don't fly so close to me
I'm what you want, not what you need
You don't want to lose those wings (lose those wings)
People like me break beautiful things
Also funfact: i didn't even thought that it was unnecessary long while reading it (which most people did) , except like maybe in the last 10%
Quotes:
“Never jump,” I whisper.
“Never fall.” His lips brush my back.
“Miller?” he rasps.
“Hey there, angel.”
I’m holding him pretty tight. He feels limp and heavy up against me.
“How’s it going?” I kiss his forehead.
“You shouldn’t kiss me,” he groans.
“Why not?”
“Just because.”
“Because why, angel?”
“I can’t even sleep. Or eat.” I pull him closer. “I’m fucked, Miller. Really fucked up.” I feel goosebumps on his arms
"I'd want anything you gave me, Miller."
“Look at me, Ez. Look at my face.” He shuts his eyes. “Tell me this much: Who fucked up before me? Who fucked around with you and made you feel like loving you was hard work?”
"I’m strong enough for all your stuff."
"Find somebody better.”
Hi, no one’s held my hand since I was like six.
No one’s touched me in a few years except nurses and a lot worse.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
“You’ve gotta tell me if it gets to be too much.”
“If what does?”
I can feel him exhale slowly. “Me.”
“That’s why I hated you, you know,” he whispers, looking down into my eyes. “Too perfect. Tempting. Something that I couldn’t have. And shouldn’t want.” He kisses my mouth lightly. “But I wanted you. So fucking bad. It was fucking me up. So I started messing with you.”
“I don’t want to mess up your life.”
“Ezra. You could never, ever mess up my life. Ever.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, angel.”
I love you. I don’t even like being in love. It scares me. But I love you. So much I could never say no to it.
Love me- okay? Can you please still love me? Even if it’s been a while?
I’ll always love you too.
Your Ezra
He didn't leave the football pillow that I made him.
“Everything I ever let go of had claw marks on it”?
I want him to close his tired eyes and sleep. The way that I can't.
Sometimes it makes me feel like breaking things—because I don't have him. But when I'm tired, I look at him smiling with his friends on the gram, and it puts me to sleep. Pretending. That I know him? That he loves me?
I tell myself that he would like me if he knew me.
I’m too scared of walking when I don’t know where I’m going.
“I don’t need a drink to listen to you.”
"I don't really know you. But I feel like I can't live without you."
🎧 Please don't make any sudden moves
You don't know the half of the abuse
Here lies the
It took me i think damn near 2 months to read it cuz when i first started the audiobook i had sore throat plus flu (and little did i know this book would make me cry that much) so i paused at almost 50% for my own sanity but then it took me more than a month to resume and to no relief this was me the whole time once again
🎧 Angel, don't fly so close to me (my angel, don't close to me)
I'll pull you down eventually (eventually)
You don't want to lose those wings
People like me break beautiful things
Angel, don't fly so close to me
I'm what you want, not what you need
You don't want to lose those wings (lose those wings)
People like me break beautiful things
Also funfact: i didn't even thought that it was unnecessary long while reading it (which most people did) , except like maybe in the last 10%
Quotes:
“Never jump,” I whisper.
“Never fall.” His lips brush my back.
“Miller?” he rasps.
“Hey there, angel.”
I’m holding him pretty tight. He feels limp and heavy up against me.
“How’s it going?” I kiss his forehead.
“You shouldn’t kiss me,” he groans.
“Why not?”
“Just because.”
“Because why, angel?”
“I can’t even sleep. Or eat.” I pull him closer. “I’m fucked, Miller. Really fucked up.” I feel goosebumps on his arms
"I'd want anything you gave me, Miller."
“Look at me, Ez. Look at my face.” He shuts his eyes. “Tell me this much: Who fucked up before me? Who fucked around with you and made you feel like loving you was hard work?”
"I’m strong enough for all your stuff."
"Find somebody better.”
Hi, no one’s held my hand since I was like six.
No one’s touched me in a few years except nurses and a lot worse.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
“You’ve gotta tell me if it gets to be too much.”
“If what does?”
I can feel him exhale slowly. “Me.”
“That’s why I hated you, you know,” he whispers, looking down into my eyes. “Too perfect. Tempting. Something that I couldn’t have. And shouldn’t want.” He kisses my mouth lightly. “But I wanted you. So fucking bad. It was fucking me up. So I started messing with you.”
“I don’t want to mess up your life.”
“Ezra. You could never, ever mess up my life. Ever.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, angel.”
I love you. I don’t even like being in love. It scares me. But I love you. So much I could never say no to it.
Love me- okay? Can you please still love me? Even if it’s been a while?
I’ll always love you too.
Your Ezra
He didn't leave the football pillow that I made him.
“Everything I ever let go of had claw marks on it”?
I want him to close his tired eyes and sleep. The way that I can't.
Sometimes it makes me feel like breaking things—because I don't have him. But when I'm tired, I look at him smiling with his friends on the gram, and it puts me to sleep. Pretending. That I know him? That he loves me?
I tell myself that he would like me if he knew me.
I’m too scared of walking when I don’t know where I’m going.
“I don’t need a drink to listen to you.”
"I don't really know you. But I feel like I can't live without you."
June 24, 2022
Holy fucking hell! This one really runs the gamut on emotions. If that emotion exists this book’s gonna make you feel it!
Ezra aptly names Miller DG, aka Do Gooder. Because from the moment they meet Ezra is the biggest asshole. Yeah, Josh will clap back, sometimes his bark is even bigger. But the thing is, that bark is bigger than his bite.
Josh can’t help but worry about Ezra’s well-being and for good reason. It’s obvious to him due to Ez’s nightmares that have him waking up crying that he’s been through some shit.
And OMFG, when you eventually find out everything that Ezra went through it’s gonna destroy you. I think this is the most painful book I’ve ever read.
On the flip side when these boys finally give in to their mutual attraction sparks fly and set a blazing fire. This one is blue hot!
I got sucked in once they fell and they fell hard. The love they end up sharing is so pure and beautiful it tore me up from the inside out before it healed me.
But don’t think it was easy sailing after they fell in love. Nothing about this book is easy, it’s torment as much as it is wonderful.
I’m ashamed that I let the book’s length scare me away for so long. At the same time I’m glad I didn’t get to experience it until now. I will always cherish Ez and Miller’s story.
Ezra aptly names Miller DG, aka Do Gooder. Because from the moment they meet Ezra is the biggest asshole. Yeah, Josh will clap back, sometimes his bark is even bigger. But the thing is, that bark is bigger than his bite.
Josh can’t help but worry about Ezra’s well-being and for good reason. It’s obvious to him due to Ez’s nightmares that have him waking up crying that he’s been through some shit.
And OMFG, when you eventually find out everything that Ezra went through it’s gonna destroy you. I think this is the most painful book I’ve ever read.
On the flip side when these boys finally give in to their mutual attraction sparks fly and set a blazing fire. This one is blue hot!
I got sucked in once they fell and they fell hard. The love they end up sharing is so pure and beautiful it tore me up from the inside out before it healed me.
But don’t think it was easy sailing after they fell in love. Nothing about this book is easy, it’s torment as much as it is wonderful.
I’m ashamed that I let the book’s length scare me away for so long. At the same time I’m glad I didn’t get to experience it until now. I will always cherish Ez and Miller’s story.
October 10, 2021
I have no more wrath.
I have no more wrath.
I have no more wrath.
ella james´ wrath is a cry fest. this is an emotional, haunting, and brutal read about a boy with a dark past. and also about a boy who tries to save him. give me one broken and struggling character, then i am sold. this fucking book gave me two! i was a mess all through out. if you are eyeing this book expecting it to be this spicy sizzling pseudo-taboo between stepbros with lots of i-hate-my-stepbrother-but-i-wanna-fuck-him, well you are in for a disappointment. this only happened for like the first few chunks of the story. the rest? a whirlwind of emotional mess.
I bring our joined hands to my mouth and brush my lips over his knuckles. “It is a fucked up story, Miller. But it looks like we're together at the end.”
as for the length, i feel like there was a need for it. especially this time ella james didn't choose the duology route. babe, this book was more of a trilogy in one for me! you could feel where the story should've ended a lot of times. there were so many reveals scattered in this story that each needed their own buildup. each reveal got so much gravity that it would definitely hit you in the face and the emotions. we have to thank the numerous build up for that. at first i was a bit confused especially with ezra's past with this and this and this. he acted in this certain way that confused me and was very unnatural. when things started to make sense, my heart broke.
And I'm holding him. I'm holding Ezra's Masters. My stepbrother. The most infuriating guy I've ever met. The smirkiest and the cockiest and by far the most confusing. The most gorgeous.... and I think maybe the most broken. I've got him, safe with me. And I don't ever want to let him go.
oh my god. the physical connection between these mcs solidified my rating. i'm a reader who likes steamy and sizzling sex in books and i got that here but what really won me over was how the characters are clingy and needy for one another. this book is a snuggle fest! a hug fest! imagine these two snuggling tightly in a somehow dim room lighted only by blue fairy lights. while one of them caresses the other ones hair, kissing his nape, and assuring him by whispers that he doesn't have to worry because he has him.
“Hey,” I whisper, smiling. He leans down, putting his head in my lap, and locks his arms around my waist, squeezing me so tight it almost hurts. “My Miller,” he whispers.
the only thing that i didn't liked was how this book was marketed as 'enemies-to-lovers sports stepbrother romance' when, in my opinion, this author only nailed the stepbrothers being lovers category. i don't think they were even enemies? more of like trying to bitch out one another. and for a 700 pages book, that only happened for like 20% of the book? quite a disappointment. i adore them when they started being romantic and lovey-dovey but there was definitely some fire between them before all that. the sports? meh. i kept forgetting that they were into sports most of the time.
October 26, 2021
"He's the most beautiful guy I've ever seen in real life, and I hate it. I hate that I feel uncomfortable around him. How my heart pounds and my hands sweat. And I hate it all the more because it's him."
I finished Wrath by Ella James a week ago and have seriously had the worst book hangover since then. I have started an amazing new book since and I have several other fantastic ARCs and new releases on my Kindle, and I am still sat here thinking about Ezra and Miller 🖤💗.
Wrath was just so much. So big. So angsty. So tough to read. So hot. So sad. So cute. So dark. So perfect.
Honestly, whatever you think you're going to be reading when you pick this one up, think again. This is not a forbidden love smut-fest (although don't get me wrong, these boys are smoking 🔥), this is a pull-out-all-the-feels love story that survives some epic sh*tf*ckery on a triggering scale. I know that's not a word, but please bear with me 😊.
This is truly a book of two halves, and at times you feel like it's never going to work out for these two, because so much is stacked against them. There are some dark themes here so do note Ella's TWs, but push through, because I promise our boys get their HEA in the end.
If you've read Ella James books before, you'll know they're beautifully written, have an actual story line, are hot as hell and you actually become invested in the characters. Wrath is all that and then some. I couldn't have loved Ezra and Miller more.
Ezra is so broken and lonely and desperate to be loved. My heart ♥️.
"I go around the bed and sit on the opposite edge, cover my face with my hands. I've been f*cking with him. Christ. I just...toy with him. Because he's such a good boy. Because he seems so perfect. I wanted to break him."
And Miller is the most wonderful, forgiving soul, who is all in from the get-go. I adored him.
"The things I like most about him are weird and intangible. I like that he's into that quiet Sex After Cigarettes album. I like that he reads at the table. I like how his legs look after practice, with his quads all popped out, sheened with sweat. I like how he kisses me. Like I'm the only thing he needs in the world."
This huge, angsty, m/m, stepbrother, forbidden-relationship perfection is a must read recommendation from me.
ALL THE STARS ✨✨✨✨✨
I finished Wrath by Ella James a week ago and have seriously had the worst book hangover since then. I have started an amazing new book since and I have several other fantastic ARCs and new releases on my Kindle, and I am still sat here thinking about Ezra and Miller 🖤💗.
Wrath was just so much. So big. So angsty. So tough to read. So hot. So sad. So cute. So dark. So perfect.
Honestly, whatever you think you're going to be reading when you pick this one up, think again. This is not a forbidden love smut-fest (although don't get me wrong, these boys are smoking 🔥), this is a pull-out-all-the-feels love story that survives some epic sh*tf*ckery on a triggering scale. I know that's not a word, but please bear with me 😊.
This is truly a book of two halves, and at times you feel like it's never going to work out for these two, because so much is stacked against them. There are some dark themes here so do note Ella's TWs, but push through, because I promise our boys get their HEA in the end.
If you've read Ella James books before, you'll know they're beautifully written, have an actual story line, are hot as hell and you actually become invested in the characters. Wrath is all that and then some. I couldn't have loved Ezra and Miller more.
Ezra is so broken and lonely and desperate to be loved. My heart ♥️.
"I go around the bed and sit on the opposite edge, cover my face with my hands. I've been f*cking with him. Christ. I just...toy with him. Because he's such a good boy. Because he seems so perfect. I wanted to break him."
And Miller is the most wonderful, forgiving soul, who is all in from the get-go. I adored him.
"The things I like most about him are weird and intangible. I like that he's into that quiet Sex After Cigarettes album. I like that he reads at the table. I like how his legs look after practice, with his quads all popped out, sheened with sweat. I like how he kisses me. Like I'm the only thing he needs in the world."
This huge, angsty, m/m, stepbrother, forbidden-relationship perfection is a must read recommendation from me.
ALL THE STARS ✨✨✨✨✨
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July 6, 2023
MM Romance
Angsty Stepbrothers Hurt/Comfort
5++ Stars ⭐️
Audiobook Narrators: Iggy Toma and Tim Paige: 5 Heartfelt Stars ⭐️
This is a reread and my original review is below but I listened to the audiobook this time and WOW! But before I get into why the audiobook made me love this even more, let me tell you how ridiculous I am. I’m new to audiobooks (listened to 6-7?) and all this time I’ve thought Alexander Cendese was Iggy Toma 🤣 so I was super confused when I started this and didn’t hear the frat boy jock I’d pegged “Iggy” for. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ Nope, Iggy Toma has the southern accent twang I didn’t care for in Hat Trick by Eden Finley yet I loved it on Josh in this book. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😂 Ridiculous 🤣🤡
Anyway, this book is a hard angsty read but on audiobook it hit even harder because of the emotions in the narrators voices. I’ve never listened to Tim Paige who voiced Ezra before but I want more. His voice sounded a bit deep for a 18-19yr old but fuck, it was the perfect voice for Ezra and him moaning and whimpering during the sex scenes was like an added bonus. Iggy Toma voiced Josh and his southern twang just worked so well with Josh’s Alabama upbringing. The emotion these narrators were able to convey made this book feel like a movie and it came alive. Even though I knew what to expect I cried my eyes out and I realized that I had missed some things the first time. I think that’s because I cried so much while reading it that my blurry eyes missed some of the words but the audiobook filled it all in and I’m super thankful the audiobook was so deeply discounted that it made me not think twice about buying it because I loved it even more this time around. This book is why I don’t rate things as high as I used to because it set a new standard for what a 5 star read should be. I didn’t realize how much I missed Ezra and Josh and I’m so happy that I could experience them in a new way. 💗
The reason I wanted to read this again was because it has been 2 years since I read this book and yet, reading my highlights still make me teary eyed. I can’t think of another book that has had that kind of hold over me where years later I’m still emotional reading a highlight. My tastes in books have also changed a lot since 2021 and because I recommend this to so many people I wanted to make sure it was something I still loved so I could fully stand behind it. So yes, I still loved it and stand by it even though it’s absolutely gut wrenching and has intense content. Get tissues. 💗💗
*Original Review*
I’ve been waiting for this book to be released and it did not disappoint. If you have any triggers, this isn’t the book for you. This is an angsty, emotional, gut wrenching, heartbreaking story and I fucking cried my eyes out. Even just reading some of my highlighted passages are still making me tear up. This author pieced me back together though and made me so delighted I read this book. It’s a long, hard read but it’s so worth it.
I usually leave a synopsis but I refuse to ruin this book for anyone. The blurb doesn’t even begin to explain what this book is truly about or the amount of emotion I thought I’d feel. I just figured this would be just like any other enemies to lovers sports romance. I was wrong but in the best way. Just writing this review and reflecting on what I read is making me teary eyed again. I can’t remember the last time I was so moved, so wrecked, so tortured by a romance book. This is NOT to be missed. This book is EVERYTHING. 💗🌈
Angsty Stepbrothers Hurt/Comfort
5++ Stars ⭐️
Audiobook Narrators: Iggy Toma and Tim Paige: 5 Heartfelt Stars ⭐️
This is a reread and my original review is below but I listened to the audiobook this time and WOW! But before I get into why the audiobook made me love this even more, let me tell you how ridiculous I am. I’m new to audiobooks (listened to 6-7?) and all this time I’ve thought Alexander Cendese was Iggy Toma 🤣 so I was super confused when I started this and didn’t hear the frat boy jock I’d pegged “Iggy” for. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ Nope, Iggy Toma has the southern accent twang I didn’t care for in Hat Trick by Eden Finley yet I loved it on Josh in this book. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😂 Ridiculous 🤣🤡
Anyway, this book is a hard angsty read but on audiobook it hit even harder because of the emotions in the narrators voices. I’ve never listened to Tim Paige who voiced Ezra before but I want more. His voice sounded a bit deep for a 18-19yr old but fuck, it was the perfect voice for Ezra and him moaning and whimpering during the sex scenes was like an added bonus. Iggy Toma voiced Josh and his southern twang just worked so well with Josh’s Alabama upbringing. The emotion these narrators were able to convey made this book feel like a movie and it came alive. Even though I knew what to expect I cried my eyes out and I realized that I had missed some things the first time. I think that’s because I cried so much while reading it that my blurry eyes missed some of the words but the audiobook filled it all in and I’m super thankful the audiobook was so deeply discounted that it made me not think twice about buying it because I loved it even more this time around. This book is why I don’t rate things as high as I used to because it set a new standard for what a 5 star read should be. I didn’t realize how much I missed Ezra and Josh and I’m so happy that I could experience them in a new way. 💗
The reason I wanted to read this again was because it has been 2 years since I read this book and yet, reading my highlights still make me teary eyed. I can’t think of another book that has had that kind of hold over me where years later I’m still emotional reading a highlight. My tastes in books have also changed a lot since 2021 and because I recommend this to so many people I wanted to make sure it was something I still loved so I could fully stand behind it. So yes, I still loved it and stand by it even though it’s absolutely gut wrenching and has intense content. Get tissues. 💗💗
*Original Review*
I’ve been waiting for this book to be released and it did not disappoint. If you have any triggers, this isn’t the book for you. This is an angsty, emotional, gut wrenching, heartbreaking story and I fucking cried my eyes out. Even just reading some of my highlighted passages are still making me tear up. This author pieced me back together though and made me so delighted I read this book. It’s a long, hard read but it’s so worth it.
I usually leave a synopsis but I refuse to ruin this book for anyone. The blurb doesn’t even begin to explain what this book is truly about or the amount of emotion I thought I’d feel. I just figured this would be just like any other enemies to lovers sports romance. I was wrong but in the best way. Just writing this review and reflecting on what I read is making me teary eyed again. I can’t remember the last time I was so moved, so wrecked, so tortured by a romance book. This is NOT to be missed. This book is EVERYTHING. 💗🌈
April 4, 2024
4.75 ⭐️!!!! my heart. my soul. oh my GOODNESS ME.
no words. i’m so in love. i felt so many things (even the ones i didn’t want to feel)
ezra is everything to me. miller is also everything to me. have i mentioned im in love?????
only not a 5 because i feel like so many parts could’ve been left out so it made it a bit too long and some parts made me bored. REGARDLESS. AMAZING.
“never jump”
“never fall”
🩷
no words. i’m so in love. i felt so many things (even the ones i didn’t want to feel)
ezra is everything to me. miller is also everything to me. have i mentioned im in love?????
only not a 5 because i feel like so many parts could’ve been left out so it made it a bit too long and some parts made me bored. REGARDLESS. AMAZING.
“never jump”
“never fall”
🩷
October 2, 2021
This was sooo long 712 pages! 😰
April 19, 2024
Ooooh ho ho ho, Ella James, you dun did it now.
Look, I had to hold in my rage all throughout this thing, and that was the only thing not making me succumb to the anxiety this book induced in me.
Slight spoilers:
Ezra's mom: Evil bitch. No redeeming qualities. Put her ass under the jail.
Ezra's dad: Ain't shit absentee who created a new family with Josh and his mom and didn't do shit to keep in regular contact with his son. How do you not know where your son is at any given time? How do you not know his medical history? Why wouldn't you go looking for your son when he disappeared? WHERE TF WERE YOU, YOU SONSABITCH?!
...Josh's dad: Ain't shit absentee who created a new family with a woman who doesn't want Josh around. HOW DOES YOUR SON NOT HAVE A ROOM AT YOUR HOUSE????
Josh's mom: Besides some things that she could REALLY work on, like, not letting anyone, including Ezra, shit talk her son just to make them comfortable, she doesn't seem like she was all that terrible. The bar is in hell, though, so she could literally be dead and still be a better parent than the other 3.
Those other 3 can have a big ol slice of shit pie.
I felt so much for Ezra during the toughest battles of his mental health. He was afraid to be happy, afraid to make anyone happy, and that's just no way to live.
Josh...I just can't help but think that his inability to NOT be a do-gooder is some sort of trauma response. That's just not normal, ya know? Like, I feel that he was neglected, certainly by his dad, but also by his mom to a degree.
I'm glad they got to have some found family. The boys definitely needed it.
With all that said...this book wasn't even that traumatic, idk what everyone's been talking about. 💅🏽
P.S. Thanks to Gina for buddy reading this with me and letting me freak out about family trauma behind the scenes.
Look, I had to hold in my rage all throughout this thing, and that was the only thing not making me succumb to the anxiety this book induced in me.
Slight spoilers:
Ezra's mom: Evil bitch. No redeeming qualities. Put her ass under the jail.
Ezra's dad: Ain't shit absentee who created a new family with Josh and his mom and didn't do shit to keep in regular contact with his son. How do you not know where your son is at any given time? How do you not know his medical history? Why wouldn't you go looking for your son when he disappeared? WHERE TF WERE YOU, YOU SONSABITCH?!
...Josh's dad: Ain't shit absentee who created a new family with a woman who doesn't want Josh around. HOW DOES YOUR SON NOT HAVE A ROOM AT YOUR HOUSE????
Josh's mom: Besides some things that she could REALLY work on, like, not letting anyone, including Ezra, shit talk her son just to make them comfortable, she doesn't seem like she was all that terrible. The bar is in hell, though, so she could literally be dead and still be a better parent than the other 3.
Those other 3 can have a big ol slice of shit pie.
I felt so much for Ezra during the toughest battles of his mental health. He was afraid to be happy, afraid to make anyone happy, and that's just no way to live.
Josh...I just can't help but think that his inability to NOT be a do-gooder is some sort of trauma response. That's just not normal, ya know? Like, I feel that he was neglected, certainly by his dad, but also by his mom to a degree.
I'm glad they got to have some found family. The boys definitely needed it.
With all that said...this book wasn't even that traumatic, idk what everyone's been talking about. 💅🏽
P.S. Thanks to Gina for buddy reading this with me and letting me freak out about family trauma behind the scenes.
February 2, 2022
3 STARS
I'm not quite sure what to rate this and I've been sitting on my rating for two days now. Did I love it? Not quite. Did I dislike it? Also no. Did I skim most of the book? Yes. Yes I did
Now look, I knew what I was getting into. The book is thick and I mean THICK at 700 pages. Does it need to be 700 pages? Absolutely not. But I'll get into this in a bit.
The story itself is beautiful and emotional. I love a good tortured character, and it doesn't get more tortured than Ezra. I was in love with this guy from the first glare. There's so much to him that you're desperate to peel back his layers. He's such a complex character that you struggle to understand at first, but when you find out his story, your heart absolutely breaks for him.
Miller was just...*dreamy swoon*. I loved him. I especially loved the way he loved Ezra. He's in the closet but doesn't deny who he is, unlike Ezra. His attraction to his new stepbrother is not something he saw coming. And neither is his stepbrother's less than innocent interest in him. He went through the gamut of emotion and growth as the story progressed, and I was so here for it.
Would I call this story angsty? Not by my standards. I'd say it was a highly emotional story with some very heavy subject matter. But while there's pining and some hate lust, it's not angsty. More like it has angsty undercurrents if that makes sense.
So why three stars? Because my GOD, did I struggle for the first 60% of it. It felt like the book would never end. I felt like I was reading forever, then I'd look down and see that I was at 23% and yet...nothing really happened. The story could have easily been cut down by 300-400 pages and not suffered for it. It just felt like filler. It added nothing to the story outside of page count for me, and I skimmed like crazy. Heck I almost DNF'd at 40%.
The last 40% is what finally grabbed me, though ironically enough some of the needed development felt rushed. Like a certain plot device that happened with Ezra felt like it came out of the blue, in the blink of an eye. It was strange. And while I loved the two of them together, because the pacing was so off, I struggled to fully connect to them. Don't get me wrong, the chemistry was certainly there. But something was lost in all the page count for me.
Ultimately, I did enjoy this, though to be fair, I skimmed more than half the book. *sheepish grin*
Find me on:
What are you doing?” His voice is a low rasp.
I swallow, but when I try to speak, it’s just a whisper. “Looking at you.”
I'm not quite sure what to rate this and I've been sitting on my rating for two days now. Did I love it? Not quite. Did I dislike it? Also no. Did I skim most of the book? Yes. Yes I did
Now look, I knew what I was getting into. The book is thick and I mean THICK at 700 pages. Does it need to be 700 pages? Absolutely not. But I'll get into this in a bit.
The story itself is beautiful and emotional. I love a good tortured character, and it doesn't get more tortured than Ezra. I was in love with this guy from the first glare. There's so much to him that you're desperate to peel back his layers. He's such a complex character that you struggle to understand at first, but when you find out his story, your heart absolutely breaks for him.
Miller was just...*dreamy swoon*. I loved him. I especially loved the way he loved Ezra. He's in the closet but doesn't deny who he is, unlike Ezra. His attraction to his new stepbrother is not something he saw coming. And neither is his stepbrother's less than innocent interest in him. He went through the gamut of emotion and growth as the story progressed, and I was so here for it.
Would I call this story angsty? Not by my standards. I'd say it was a highly emotional story with some very heavy subject matter. But while there's pining and some hate lust, it's not angsty. More like it has angsty undercurrents if that makes sense.
So why three stars? Because my GOD, did I struggle for the first 60% of it. It felt like the book would never end. I felt like I was reading forever, then I'd look down and see that I was at 23% and yet...nothing really happened. The story could have easily been cut down by 300-400 pages and not suffered for it. It just felt like filler. It added nothing to the story outside of page count for me, and I skimmed like crazy. Heck I almost DNF'd at 40%.
The last 40% is what finally grabbed me, though ironically enough some of the needed development felt rushed. Like a certain plot device that happened with Ezra felt like it came out of the blue, in the blink of an eye. It was strange. And while I loved the two of them together, because the pacing was so off, I struggled to fully connect to them. Don't get me wrong, the chemistry was certainly there. But something was lost in all the page count for me.
Ultimately, I did enjoy this, though to be fair, I skimmed more than half the book. *sheepish grin*
Find me on:
October 5, 2021
Best book of 2021, a masterpiece
Grab the electrolyte drinks and Advil because this book is going to give you the best hangover of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
700+ pages of angsty romantic bliss perfection. And I still want more.of these boys.
How am I supposed to just go about my life now?
This is what I call a masterpiece. I would love to see this book as a movie. Or better yet, a Netflix series.
Why are you still reading this review when you could be reading this book? Get out of here! You have ten hours of bliss to tackle baddies! Enjoy- I'm jealous you get to read it for the first time again. How long to I have to wait to read this again?
Grab the electrolyte drinks and Advil because this book is going to give you the best hangover of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
700+ pages of angsty romantic bliss perfection. And I still want more.of these boys.
How am I supposed to just go about my life now?
This is what I call a masterpiece. I would love to see this book as a movie. Or better yet, a Netflix series.
Why are you still reading this review when you could be reading this book? Get out of here! You have ten hours of bliss to tackle baddies! Enjoy- I'm jealous you get to read it for the first time again. How long to I have to wait to read this again?
March 13, 2024
First read - 5.0 Stars
Second read - 5.0 Stars
This book was pure pain.
“Tell me this much: Who fucked up before me? Who fucked around with you and made you feel like loving you was hard work?”
The voicemails!!!! 😭😭
“So it was real”
“My Miller.”
These two are the definition of I will love you in every universe.
“I’ll be your private nurse and you can be my teacher. Always. For infinity. Okay?”
Second read - 5.0 Stars
This book was pure pain.
“Tell me this much: Who fucked up before me? Who fucked around with you and made you feel like loving you was hard work?”
The voicemails!!!! 😭😭
“So it was real”
“My Miller.”
These two are the definition of I will love you in every universe.
“I’ll be your private nurse and you can be my teacher. Always. For infinity. Okay?”
November 8, 2024
Confesso que o início desse livro não me fisgou muito, quase desisti pq não gostei do jeito que essa autora demonstrava algumas coisas, além dela perder muito tempo descrevendo as roupas e marcas de roupas que os personagens usam ( algo muito irritante), mas não desisti do livro por causa dessas birra idiotas que tive😅 A história me fisgou mesmo na metade, acho que o livro realmente ficou bom a partir do momento que Ez decidi ir embora, assim começou a revelação de alguns pontos importantes do seu passado e agradeci a mim mesma por não ter desistido dessa história. Fiquei realmente impactada com tudo que Ez passou pq infelizmente muitos passaram pelo mesmo na vida real. Essa merda de terapia de conversão ainda é feita por aí em lugares trevosos, tem religiosos que fazem essa merda de cura gay e infelizmente é como vimos nessa história. Isso fera com a mente, acaba com o emocional, sair disso é difícil e doloroso. A religião é um perigo na vida do ser humano, um perigo para os queer. Cresci em família religiosa e sei do que estou falando. Melhor coisa na minha vida foi quando me libertei da religião e decidi aceitar minha sexualidade. Sou Bi com orgulho, mas antes não era assim, por causa da religião eu achava que estava errada e que não era normal sentir atração por mulheres, tentei apagar essa lado mas não consegui. Decidi largar a religião e isso me libertou, foi a melhor coisa que fiz na minha vida. Minha família ainda é muito religiosa mas hj não escondo nada, falo na cara o que tenho que falar... Seja para minha mãe ou qualquer outro religioso que tenta nos jogar algo que eles dizem ser o certo. Bato de frente com essa porra e não me arrependo.
September 8, 2022
Loved it. Had to force myself to put it down at 3am so I could actually get some sleep!
I think I'd read anything about and Josh and Ezra 😊
I think I'd read anything about and Josh and Ezra 😊
August 15, 2025
Ouch.
This book hurt and it hurt good.
Do not trust the blurb, I repeat, DO NOT TRUST THE BLURB - it has almost nothing to do with what this story is actually about. Holy shit, what a JOURNEY!
I won’t lie, it took me a while to get into it. The first chapters were full of WTF is happening right now? moments, and it took some time to get a grip on the characters. But slowly they got under my skin, pulled me in, and didn’t let go until this book finished me (yes, it finished me).
Miller is such a babe - so good, so caring, so warm and earnest - and Ezra is the most feral black alley cat with some serious issues who just wants to be held, understood, and cared for. What a pairing 🥹 The level of hurt/comfort here was absolutely unreal. These two couldn’t catch a break, but the way they clung to each other and cared for each other was so, SO beautiful.
Ezra’s switch from hatefucking to genuine affection came a little abruptly, but once it happened, wow. The steam was hot, but it wasn’t just sex - there was so much cuddling, hugging, handholding, hair-stroking, soft kisses. Just constant affection. Swoon.
Around the halfway mark it almost became unbearable for a hot minute there. They were so happy, it felt like their HEA was just around the corner - but I was only at 55%, so I just knew something gut-wrenching was coming. Waiting for that shoe to drop was torture, and yep… I was right. The separation was brutal, Ezra’s story absolutely heartbreaking, what he endured almost beyond imagination. I didn’t know whether to scream at the cruelty, sob at the unfairness, or cry happy tears at the support he eventually got. By the end, I’d done all three.
(Important note: during their separation, one MC gets a blowjob from another guy. It’s only a blip in the grand scheme of their story, but… still, worth mentioning).
But next to the big swoon and emotions happening, there also were a few things that didn’t quite work for me:
I struggled with the length (WOW, it was long), the writing - which overall felt a bit too juvenile to me (a lot of “bruh,” “dude,” and “man”) - and the Luke subplot was confusing since I hadn’t read his book and therefore couldn’t really connect to him and all that was going on there.
And most importantly: I thought the ending was a bit… weak? I wanted the people who hurt Ezra to get what they deserve, I wanted prison, heads rolling, torture and pain. I wanted fucking VENGEANCE and all I got was a limp text that gave a weak as fuck excuse and no consequences for any of the perpetrators on page. That really, really bothered me. Fuck.
Still, this is the kind of book that grips you, shreds you, and leaves you both glad you read it while wanting to never go through it again. It also reinforced why I steer clear of severe homophobia, religious bigotry, and conversion therapy in fiction - it’s just a lot.
This was maybe the hardest-won HEA I’ve ever read but the pain of getting there was worth it I think, in the end.
3,5⭐️
This book hurt and it hurt good.
Do not trust the blurb, I repeat, DO NOT TRUST THE BLURB - it has almost nothing to do with what this story is actually about. Holy shit, what a JOURNEY!
I won’t lie, it took me a while to get into it. The first chapters were full of WTF is happening right now? moments, and it took some time to get a grip on the characters. But slowly they got under my skin, pulled me in, and didn’t let go until this book finished me (yes, it finished me).
Miller is such a babe - so good, so caring, so warm and earnest - and Ezra is the most feral black alley cat with some serious issues who just wants to be held, understood, and cared for. What a pairing 🥹 The level of hurt/comfort here was absolutely unreal. These two couldn’t catch a break, but the way they clung to each other and cared for each other was so, SO beautiful.
Ezra’s switch from hatefucking to genuine affection came a little abruptly, but once it happened, wow. The steam was hot, but it wasn’t just sex - there was so much cuddling, hugging, handholding, hair-stroking, soft kisses. Just constant affection. Swoon.
Around the halfway mark it almost became unbearable for a hot minute there. They were so happy, it felt like their HEA was just around the corner - but I was only at 55%, so I just knew something gut-wrenching was coming. Waiting for that shoe to drop was torture, and yep… I was right. The separation was brutal, Ezra’s story absolutely heartbreaking, what he endured almost beyond imagination. I didn’t know whether to scream at the cruelty, sob at the unfairness, or cry happy tears at the support he eventually got. By the end, I’d done all three.
(Important note: during their separation, one MC gets a blowjob from another guy. It’s only a blip in the grand scheme of their story, but… still, worth mentioning).
But next to the big swoon and emotions happening, there also were a few things that didn’t quite work for me:
I struggled with the length (WOW, it was long), the writing - which overall felt a bit too juvenile to me (a lot of “bruh,” “dude,” and “man”) - and the Luke subplot was confusing since I hadn’t read his book and therefore couldn’t really connect to him and all that was going on there.
And most importantly: I thought the ending was a bit… weak? I wanted the people who hurt Ezra to get what they deserve, I wanted prison, heads rolling, torture and pain. I wanted fucking VENGEANCE and all I got was a limp text that gave a weak as fuck excuse and no consequences for any of the perpetrators on page. That really, really bothered me. Fuck.
Still, this is the kind of book that grips you, shreds you, and leaves you both glad you read it while wanting to never go through it again. It also reinforced why I steer clear of severe homophobia, religious bigotry, and conversion therapy in fiction - it’s just a lot.
This was maybe the hardest-won HEA I’ve ever read but the pain of getting there was worth it I think, in the end.
3,5⭐️
January 30, 2025
3 very generous stars.
So, yes, I was a bit disappointed with this book.
And I do realize I am in the minority here, but I can't help but listen to my overall feelings about this, telling me that it didn't work for me the way I hoped it would.
I'll try to explain the reasons why.
First of all there's the length of the book. I can't help but feel like it could have been shorter. Some things seemed quite repetitive - like the times Josh (Miller) and Ezra felt like the other one was beautiful, or gorgeous, or had a beautiful body or whatsoever. This is mentioned quite often, specially in the beginning.
It dragged a bit - it took too long for them to get back together again.
We also see Ezra tell the same story twice - once to the pastor, once to Josh. I think that could have been done differently.
And this may sound strange to all those readers who loved this, but I could not really connect to Ezra nor Miller. I never cried, I never felt their pain, and I still wonder why that is. Was it the writing? This is my first Ella James book, and I have to admit it took some time for me to get used to her style. Maybe I never really connected with it, and is that the reason why I couldn't feel the characters?
Because, yes, this story was HEAVY! Lots of awful things were done to Ezra, and even though I am not one to cry easily, I would think that all these bad, awful things would make me at least shed a tear or two, or get teary eyed, but that just didn't happen, while most of my book-friends needed boxes filled with tissues ready to dry their eyes. So why not me?! I really wonder about that.
I have to admit that towards the end, I found myself skimming more and more. I didn't really care about the story with the gay pastor (yes, I know, maybe I would have if I had read Ella's other books!) and I also was not very invested in finding out he was the one to close down the facility that had caused most of Ezra's trauma's.
One of the things I did appreciate was the fact that Ezra's mother did not suddenly change her mind about her gay son. She just couldn't accept it, and that did not change for the sake of the romance or the book drama. It would not have been believable, and so I'm glad the author didn't go there.
I liked Josh 'Miller' and Ezra both just fine, but I just couldn't connect with them as a character, not with them as a couple. I didn't like Ezra in the beginning, and even though I found out later why he was acting the way he did, it still didn't seem true to his character. They both change so much after they get separated, and when they get together again, they seem like different people. And by that I mean TOO different, as if they weren't the same persons anymore. The change was too much of a 180 degrees.
So, I'm really very sorry for not liking this more. It must be me and not the book, because everyone seems to just love it and all those 5 star reviews are clearly in the majority. Maybe just don't mind me, and if the blurb sounds appealing and like something you would love, please, do give this book a chance. As is the case with a lot of readers, it might end up being your favorite book of the year.
Unfortunately, that's not the case with me.
I was kindly given an ARC by the author, and this is my honest, unbiased review
So, yes, I was a bit disappointed with this book.
And I do realize I am in the minority here, but I can't help but listen to my overall feelings about this, telling me that it didn't work for me the way I hoped it would.
I'll try to explain the reasons why.
First of all there's the length of the book. I can't help but feel like it could have been shorter. Some things seemed quite repetitive - like the times Josh (Miller) and Ezra felt like the other one was beautiful, or gorgeous, or had a beautiful body or whatsoever. This is mentioned quite often, specially in the beginning.
It dragged a bit - it took too long for them to get back together again.
We also see Ezra tell the same story twice - once to the pastor, once to Josh. I think that could have been done differently.
And this may sound strange to all those readers who loved this, but I could not really connect to Ezra nor Miller. I never cried, I never felt their pain, and I still wonder why that is. Was it the writing? This is my first Ella James book, and I have to admit it took some time for me to get used to her style. Maybe I never really connected with it, and is that the reason why I couldn't feel the characters?
Because, yes, this story was HEAVY! Lots of awful things were done to Ezra, and even though I am not one to cry easily, I would think that all these bad, awful things would make me at least shed a tear or two, or get teary eyed, but that just didn't happen, while most of my book-friends needed boxes filled with tissues ready to dry their eyes. So why not me?! I really wonder about that.
I have to admit that towards the end, I found myself skimming more and more. I didn't really care about the story with the gay pastor (yes, I know, maybe I would have if I had read Ella's other books!) and I also was not very invested in finding out he was the one to close down the facility that had caused most of Ezra's trauma's.
One of the things I did appreciate was the fact that Ezra's mother did not suddenly change her mind about her gay son. She just couldn't accept it, and that did not change for the sake of the romance or the book drama. It would not have been believable, and so I'm glad the author didn't go there.
I liked Josh 'Miller' and Ezra both just fine, but I just couldn't connect with them as a character, not with them as a couple. I didn't like Ezra in the beginning, and even though I found out later why he was acting the way he did, it still didn't seem true to his character. They both change so much after they get separated, and when they get together again, they seem like different people. And by that I mean TOO different, as if they weren't the same persons anymore. The change was too much of a 180 degrees.
So, I'm really very sorry for not liking this more. It must be me and not the book, because everyone seems to just love it and all those 5 star reviews are clearly in the majority. Maybe just don't mind me, and if the blurb sounds appealing and like something you would love, please, do give this book a chance. As is the case with a lot of readers, it might end up being your favorite book of the year.
Unfortunately, that's not the case with me.
I was kindly given an ARC by the author, and this is my honest, unbiased review
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
dnf
July 21, 2025dnf @36%
I was very excited to try out this one because I know it’s a lot of people’s favorite book, and I was hoping it was going to get me addicted as For the Fans did (another very long mm romance book between two stepbrothers). While I don’t have anything bad to say about it, I also was losing interest in the story and didn’t want to use four hours of my limited free time to read a book I wasn’t really interested in anymore.
I enjoyed the beginning. I was a bit worried about what was said in the blurb about one of the main characters (Ezra) kissing his gay new stepbrother only to mess up with him. It was more than that. You can see that Ezra is into it and that Josh doesn’t let Ezra play with him and fights back. You won’t hate Ezra, you can see that he’s hurting and it seems like he was abused and hasn’t been able to talk about it with anyone (in fact, the book starts with Ezra trying to kill himself, so check the trigger warnings the author provides at the beginning if you are sensitive).
Josh is such a ray of light, he was adorable. To be honest, I thought I was going to read the entire thing, but I started to lose interest when the slow burn finished (very soon for me, taking into account this book is 700 pages) and the smut started. I don’t do well with a lot of smut, after a couple of scenes of them messing around I decided I didn’t want to read another 400 pages of that, while slowly discovering their secrets.
Because of that, I’m not rating this one. If you like long romances and having more than a couple of spicy scenes towards the end, I would recommend this one. At the pace they were going, you’ll have over a dozen of them to enjoy.
I was very excited to try out this one because I know it’s a lot of people’s favorite book, and I was hoping it was going to get me addicted as For the Fans did (another very long mm romance book between two stepbrothers). While I don’t have anything bad to say about it, I also was losing interest in the story and didn’t want to use four hours of my limited free time to read a book I wasn’t really interested in anymore.
I enjoyed the beginning. I was a bit worried about what was said in the blurb about one of the main characters (Ezra) kissing his gay new stepbrother only to mess up with him. It was more than that. You can see that Ezra is into it and that Josh doesn’t let Ezra play with him and fights back. You won’t hate Ezra, you can see that he’s hurting and it seems like he was abused and hasn’t been able to talk about it with anyone (in fact, the book starts with Ezra trying to kill himself, so check the trigger warnings the author provides at the beginning if you are sensitive).
Josh is such a ray of light, he was adorable. To be honest, I thought I was going to read the entire thing, but I started to lose interest when the slow burn finished (very soon for me, taking into account this book is 700 pages) and the smut started. I don’t do well with a lot of smut, after a couple of scenes of them messing around I decided I didn’t want to read another 400 pages of that, while slowly discovering their secrets.
Because of that, I’m not rating this one. If you like long romances and having more than a couple of spicy scenes towards the end, I would recommend this one. At the pace they were going, you’ll have over a dozen of them to enjoy.
February 4, 2022
Microwave your popcorn, pop your soda and grab your reading glasses people. This is gonna be a LONG ASS REVIEW
| Welcome to my delusional ass review, where I only got 2 hours of sleep while reading this book 🤡🤡🤡|
Dark Romance? HA.
Sports Romance? If you count one lap across a field, yeah I guess.
Forbidden Romance? These two barely acknowledged that they were stepbrothers before they boned so....
Enemies to Lovers? Sure.
I know a lot of people are gonna ask me the next few questions, so I'll give you the deets.
Did this book have to be 702 pages long? I think it could both be longer (yes you heard that right) and yet also cut down (yes I'm looking at you Chapter 7, Third Quarter 🖕) I definitely think Ella could've tone it down with describing objects and people we readers don't give two shits about.
How was the writing? Honestly? I expected better. That's not to say the writing was underwhelming or stagnant, god no. I just had a lot of experience with longer books (*EHEM* Fallocast) just holding a Delicacy of a writing that proves the human language it's utmost capability and me, a living, breathing ILLITERATE VEGETABLE.
But. This is my first work of Ella so I can be proven wrong, but I do see the potential Ella has to write a ✨ powerful prose ✨ That is what I was looking for, what I was yielding my soul for. I wanted that writing that just made my mind vibrate and my heart sing. I think Ella has the potential to reach that level and I'm excited to see where she continues forward as Ellis James.
How DARK is this book? Because yup, I don't consider this book Dark AT ALL. Maybe a certain history of a character yes, but I wouldn't go so far as calling this book dark. And that is MY OPINION. (the hoe who had read Fallocast, so think AGAIN people if you wanna trust my hilarious opinion of “BUT IS THIS DARK?” book.
How ANGSTY is this book? One of the reasons I delayed picking this book up is because everyone kept saying how this book was emotional and angsty as fuck. Still not sure wtf angst is tbh but I was say, about 30% part of this book gets frustrating.
DID THIS BOOK BREAK MY HEART?
No.
And of course, the most important question. HOW WAS THE SMUT? You can tell me if I'm wrong, literally roast me, but people 🤡 I think there was a total of 2 (TWO) Sex scenes here 🤡 ..... And a shit ton of 69 and handjobs, of course.
→ Now onto the beefy part of this review.
✋ Not going to lie, I wanted to love this book so much and give it five stars just for the sole reason to buy the paperback and hang this Cover of BEAUTY on my shelves. Yes I'm petty like that, STOP ME.✋
Honestly, I'm not really sure how I want to rate this book. I feel like I liked the ending too much for it to be a solid 3.5 star, but I don't want to commit to a full 4 star. TELL ME THE IN-BETWEEN because there's nothing I hate more than a 3.75 star.
My favorite part of this book was none other than god almighty, Ezra Masters, an angel descent from hell.
I loved the depth of his character, loved how assholey he was in the beginning, how rude and mean and angry he was, how he was so full of resentment and a heart of broken pieces all underneath. It's so so SO EASY to hate Ezra's character in the beginning of this book, so easy to say he's toxic, or he's a bad influence or that he's just so FUCKED UP.
But man, every time he made a mistake, every time he went out of control and hurt other people's feelings and locked his heart out, every time he was nothing but a cannon waiting to burst into flame, I just wanted to give him a hug and tell him it's okay and I understand him, it's okay and it's not your fault you're broken. It's so easy to see the mask Ezra wore on a daily basis, 24/7 and make no mistake, he wore it so easily, so painstakingly nonchalant and indifferent and careful that you wouldn't hear how his heart broke behind his every venomous move. How behind that angry and resentful, scowling and gorgeous face of his, lie a character that had the worst kind of coping mechanism and who just hungered to be someone there for him. Deserved to have the pieces picked up after life shattered his heart.
He was a beautiful destruction to behold.
That's why Josh was so frustrating for me to get around with his character, I knew and get why he was acting the way he did but I just wanted to jam his head and show him just a wider, broader perspective.
One single piece doesn't make a whole puzzle, you can't look at that one piece and think it's finished. You have to find that next piece and the next, again and again and again until you find that click and the latch that slowly builds the picture. You have to FIND that piece until you get the whole broad picture. When you do so, everything and the hardship of finding those pieces all comes clear.
And it frustrated me to no end who Josh was so stuck on looking at just that one damn piece.
Thank god that didn't last. Thank the gods Josh got to his senses and fucks, when he did. These two, Ezra and Josh? My beautiful Angel and Do Gooder? They were POWERFUL.
What I didn't like about this book was the tone/mood of a scene. It felt like the author was trying to make a scene powerful but emotional, funny but also filled with anger and slurs, happy and yet one character smacks the other on the face. It was so jarring and bloody annoying, it pissed to no way town and that's my biggest critique of the book. I'm glad that didn't last throughout the book. I would say just endure it for a good 30-35%
.
.
.
.
Initial reactions:
Words cannot express how proud I am of my sweet Ezra Masters.
Always. For infinity
| Welcome to my delusional ass review, where I only got 2 hours of sleep while reading this book 🤡🤡🤡|
Dark Romance? HA.
Sports Romance? If you count one lap across a field, yeah I guess.
Forbidden Romance? These two barely acknowledged that they were stepbrothers before they boned so....
Enemies to Lovers? Sure.
I know a lot of people are gonna ask me the next few questions, so I'll give you the deets.
Did this book have to be 702 pages long? I think it could both be longer (yes you heard that right) and yet also cut down (yes I'm looking at you Chapter 7, Third Quarter 🖕) I definitely think Ella could've tone it down with describing objects and people we readers don't give two shits about.
How was the writing? Honestly? I expected better. That's not to say the writing was underwhelming or stagnant, god no. I just had a lot of experience with longer books (*EHEM* Fallocast) just holding a Delicacy of a writing that proves the human language it's utmost capability and me, a living, breathing ILLITERATE VEGETABLE.
But. This is my first work of Ella so I can be proven wrong, but I do see the potential Ella has to write a ✨ powerful prose ✨ That is what I was looking for, what I was yielding my soul for. I wanted that writing that just made my mind vibrate and my heart sing. I think Ella has the potential to reach that level and I'm excited to see where she continues forward as Ellis James.
How DARK is this book? Because yup, I don't consider this book Dark AT ALL. Maybe a certain history of a character yes, but I wouldn't go so far as calling this book dark. And that is MY OPINION. (the hoe who had read Fallocast, so think AGAIN people if you wanna trust my hilarious opinion of “BUT IS THIS DARK?” book.
How ANGSTY is this book? One of the reasons I delayed picking this book up is because everyone kept saying how this book was emotional and angsty as fuck. Still not sure wtf angst is tbh but I was say, about 30% part of this book gets frustrating.
DID THIS BOOK BREAK MY HEART?
No.
And of course, the most important question. HOW WAS THE SMUT? You can tell me if I'm wrong, literally roast me, but people 🤡 I think there was a total of 2 (TWO) Sex scenes here 🤡 ..... And a shit ton of 69 and handjobs, of course.
→ Now onto the beefy part of this review.
✋ Not going to lie, I wanted to love this book so much and give it five stars just for the sole reason to buy the paperback and hang this Cover of BEAUTY on my shelves. Yes I'm petty like that, STOP ME.✋
Honestly, I'm not really sure how I want to rate this book. I feel like I liked the ending too much for it to be a solid 3.5 star, but I don't want to commit to a full 4 star. TELL ME THE IN-BETWEEN because there's nothing I hate more than a 3.75 star.
My favorite part of this book was none other than god almighty, Ezra Masters, an angel descent from hell.
"Ezra?" I whisper. His name is foreign fruit—a taste I've never known but want to.
I loved the depth of his character, loved how assholey he was in the beginning, how rude and mean and angry he was, how he was so full of resentment and a heart of broken pieces all underneath. It's so so SO EASY to hate Ezra's character in the beginning of this book, so easy to say he's toxic, or he's a bad influence or that he's just so FUCKED UP.
“Josh Miller is so easy. That's the thing I like. In a world of shit, from start to finish, he’s the one easy thing. A constant.
But man, every time he made a mistake, every time he went out of control and hurt other people's feelings and locked his heart out, every time he was nothing but a cannon waiting to burst into flame, I just wanted to give him a hug and tell him it's okay and I understand him, it's okay and it's not your fault you're broken. It's so easy to see the mask Ezra wore on a daily basis, 24/7 and make no mistake, he wore it so easily, so painstakingly nonchalant and indifferent and careful that you wouldn't hear how his heart broke behind his every venomous move. How behind that angry and resentful, scowling and gorgeous face of his, lie a character that had the worst kind of coping mechanism and who just hungered to be someone there for him. Deserved to have the pieces picked up after life shattered his heart.
He was a beautiful destruction to behold.
I’m so pissed, it takes almost an hour for me to realize he got exactly what he wanted. I left Ezra alone.
That's why Josh was so frustrating for me to get around with his character, I knew and get why he was acting the way he did but I just wanted to jam his head and show him just a wider, broader perspective.
One single piece doesn't make a whole puzzle, you can't look at that one piece and think it's finished. You have to find that next piece and the next, again and again and again until you find that click and the latch that slowly builds the picture. You have to FIND that piece until you get the whole broad picture. When you do so, everything and the hardship of finding those pieces all comes clear.
And it frustrated me to no end who Josh was so stuck on looking at just that one damn piece.
Thank god that didn't last. Thank the gods Josh got to his senses and fucks, when he did. These two, Ezra and Josh? My beautiful Angel and Do Gooder? They were POWERFUL.
"What are you doing?" My voice sounds rough from just waking up.
Ezra gives me a deadpan look. "What's it look like, Einstein?"
"He wasn't the only genius, you know. At least be creative and try Aristotle or some shit."
When I hear his smoky laugh, I know I've fucked up. "Okay, DG. You would like to be called Aristotle? That's a little weird, but if you really want me to…"
"No, fuckwit. I want you to stop waking me up. Leave me alone."
I want to touch him. I want to brush his hair off his forehead and fold my palm around his cheek, and after that, I want to lie beside him on the slanted roof and pull him up against me.
Why?
Because I just...feel like he needs it.
Why?
There's something about him. Something that seems almost fragile.
“I like your hands,” I tell him. God, my heart is beating so hard.
“You do?”
“Yeah. They’re nice.” I clasp my hand around his wrist.
His hand tries to grasp mine. I can’t help laughing softly. I put my hand over his and thread my fingers through his, squeezing for a second.
“Never jump,” I whisper.
“Never fall.” His lips brush my back.
I want to say I’m sorry for what I did to him. For making everything hurt. But as his lips find mine, I realize I’m not. It’s the only way I could have done it…and it led to this.
What I didn't like about this book was the tone/mood of a scene. It felt like the author was trying to make a scene powerful but emotional, funny but also filled with anger and slurs, happy and yet one character smacks the other on the face. It was so jarring and bloody annoying, it pissed to no way town and that's my biggest critique of the book. I'm glad that didn't last throughout the book. I would say just endure it for a good 30-35%
.
.
.
.
Initial reactions:
Words cannot express how proud I am of my sweet Ezra Masters.
February 4, 2022
3 Stars
Overall Opinion: This was enjoyable. I liked the characters, the author’s storytelling abilities, and the steamy scenes were pretty good. I just felt like it was too long. I don’t mind long books, but this felt too long a few times. I was extremely disappointed in the ending. I know, I know! Same story, different book for me 🙈. It’s just after 680 pages, I expected some solid closure and what I would call a HEA!! It felt rushed at the very end and left me with lots of unanswered questions. The ending alone is the main reason for my lower rating.
Brief Summary of the Storyline: This is Miller and Ezra’s story. Ezra comes to live with his dad for senior year and he meets Miller, his new step-brother. They have a rocky first encounter before they know who the other is, and they continue to butt heads. Miller is closeted and only his best friend knows, and even though he hates him, he cannot help but to be drawn to his new step-brother. Tensions rise and lines are crossed, some big secrets are revealed, a separation happens, and there are some sexy times…and they get a HFN ending.
Point Of View (POV): This alternated between Miller and Ezra’s POV.
Overall Pace of Story: Alright. This was long (688 pages on my kindle app) and it felt long in some parts. I think it could’ve been edited down a good bit, but I never skimmed.
Instalove:No. More like hate-to-love.
H1 (Hero #1) rating: 4 stars. Miller. I liked him. I liked how protective and patient he was with Ezra.
H2 (Hero #2) rating: 3.5 stars. Ezra. I liked him. He was a mess but once he worked through some stuff I liked how he cared for Miller.
Sadness level: Low/moderate. I shed a few tears but never needed any tissues.
Push/Pull: Yes
Heat level: Good. They have some good tension, chemistry, and scenes -- but not so much it takes away from the story.
Descriptive sex: Yes
OW (Other Woman)/OM (Other Man) drama: Yes, but mild
Sex scene with OW or OM: Yes
Cheating: No
Separation: Yes
Possible Triggers: Yes
Closure: This ends in a good place for me but not nearly enough closure. I would call it a HFN ending but others might be just fine calling it a HEA.
Safety: This one is probably either Safe with exception or Not Safe for most safety gang readers depending on personal preferences
Overall Opinion: This was enjoyable. I liked the characters, the author’s storytelling abilities, and the steamy scenes were pretty good. I just felt like it was too long. I don’t mind long books, but this felt too long a few times. I was extremely disappointed in the ending. I know, I know! Same story, different book for me 🙈. It’s just after 680 pages, I expected some solid closure and what I would call a HEA!! It felt rushed at the very end and left me with lots of unanswered questions. The ending alone is the main reason for my lower rating.
Brief Summary of the Storyline: This is Miller and Ezra’s story. Ezra comes to live with his dad for senior year and he meets Miller, his new step-brother. They have a rocky first encounter before they know who the other is, and they continue to butt heads. Miller is closeted and only his best friend knows, and even though he hates him, he cannot help but to be drawn to his new step-brother. Tensions rise and lines are crossed, some big secrets are revealed, a separation happens, and there are some sexy times…and they get a HFN ending.
Point Of View (POV): This alternated between Miller and Ezra’s POV.
Overall Pace of Story: Alright. This was long (688 pages on my kindle app) and it felt long in some parts. I think it could’ve been edited down a good bit, but I never skimmed.
Instalove:No. More like hate-to-love.
H1 (Hero #1) rating: 4 stars. Miller. I liked him. I liked how protective and patient he was with Ezra.
H2 (Hero #2) rating: 3.5 stars. Ezra. I liked him. He was a mess but once he worked through some stuff I liked how he cared for Miller.
Sadness level: Low/moderate. I shed a few tears but never needed any tissues.
Push/Pull: Yes
Heat level: Good. They have some good tension, chemistry, and scenes -- but not so much it takes away from the story.
Descriptive sex: Yes
OW (Other Woman)/OM (Other Man) drama: Yes, but mild
Sex scene with OW or OM: Yes
Cheating: No
Separation: Yes
Possible Triggers: Yes
Closure: This ends in a good place for me but not nearly enough closure. I would call it a HFN ending but others might be just fine calling it a HEA.
Safety: This one is probably either Safe with exception or Not Safe for most safety gang readers depending on personal preferences
April 23, 2022
Audio - 5 ++++++
Story - 2.5 Porny Soap Opera stars
Story - 2.5 Porny Soap Opera stars
July 14, 2023
Wrath
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book was BRUTAL. My heart hurts and I fucking SOBBED my way through this book. I recommend checking TWs before picking it up because holy fuck it’s an emotional rollercoaster. But I’m so happy I discovered this book and got to read it.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This book was BRUTAL. My heart hurts and I fucking SOBBED my way through this book. I recommend checking TWs before picking it up because holy fuck it’s an emotional rollercoaster. But I’m so happy I discovered this book and got to read it.
July 8, 2023
I have a hard time reading books with a ton of homophobia, bad parents and mcs being deeply mistreated and I also hate the amnesia trope so it was like a big old mixture for me of things I usually give a hard pass to when reading, but here I am! I stepped out of my reading comfort zone which I’ve been doing more and more lately, so yay me!! I feel like the author took a lot of care in discussing these deeply sensitive issues. It’s just such a long book where at one point my eyes just sorta glazed over because many parts felt really unneeded or too many details were given. Time and place could have been worked on a bit too. I felt like at times it was a bit unclear where we were in the book or the shifts to another setting or timeline were a little…off I guess. A little stilted. The banter between Josh and Ezra was so enjoyable at first and then I kinda wanted to pull my hair out because we were just going in circles!!! Saying the same stuff over and over and over!!! I feel like I could have loved this had it been trimmed down. The mcs are so easy to fall in love with and the writing flowed well. If I were to rate my love for Josh and Ezra as individuals I would give them far more than three stars but the story itself as a whole…I’m good with three stars! Also, I really appreciate that this book says that it can be read as a stand alone and that that is actually true!
July 16, 2023
I was hesitant to pick this up because I was intimidated by its length. I thought it was bound to be full of filler and would drag, but thankfully I was wrong. I feel like every part of this book was relevant to the plot and our character's relationship. I suppose it could have been split into a duology but I'm glad the author didn't, and kept it in its full form.
Wrath by Ella James is an emotional rollercoaster. Josh and Ezra go through so much, it was tough to read at parts. But their relationship development was really well done, you can see how strong they are together as the book progresses.
I picked this up on audio, and I'm so glad I did because the narrators are perfection. Highly recommend!
Wrath by Ella James is an emotional rollercoaster. Josh and Ezra go through so much, it was tough to read at parts. But their relationship development was really well done, you can see how strong they are together as the book progresses.
I picked this up on audio, and I'm so glad I did because the narrators are perfection. Highly recommend!
June 24, 2024
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐, 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️, 😱😱😱😱😱
Lots of triggers.
I came here for a smutty enemies-to-lovers romance, but what I got was puffy eyes, aching chest, bitten knuckles, disregulated nervous system and a massive book hangover.
A little tip before you too embark on this life changing journey that is reading this book: disregard the cover, and the blurb for that matter. Neither does this story justice.
This is the tale of Ezra and Josh, told in dual POV, and crosses over a couple of years. They are stepbrothers in senior year of HS, meeting for the first time when Ezra comes to live with his dad, who is married to Josh's mom. Josh is gay and is comfortable with it, although he is still not officially out, but he doesn't have any anticipatory anxiety about it either. It's very clear that although he is aware of homophobia he isn't bothered. Ezra is adamant about not being gay. But we, readers, know something is really off. He is struggling. The circumstances surrounding their first interactions already induce light knuckle biting because he keeps trying to low key off himself (major TWs throughout).
By the way, the writing is accessible but very poetic in a contemporary kind of way.
[...]Ezra's lips twitch, and for a long, arrhythmic moment, his lake eyes hold onto my eyes like he's telling me a secret with his mind.
Girl, hate them arrhythmic moments.
[...]This whole thing where I can't stop thinking about him is just bizarre self-flagellation.
I know exactly what you mean, Josh.
The boys fall in love in the most beautiful way. Like I said, I came here for the smut but oh my god did their romance give all the feels, and then gave some more.
[...]"Never jump," I whisper.
"Never fall." His lips brush my back. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Something about the way they describe their feelings for each other just. undoes. a. person. Is it because it's so relatable? Or so pure and innocent and inexperienced so feels utterly untainted?
[...]Not because I have a right to know - but so I'd have something to grab hold of. I feel like I'm falling through thin air alone.
Also, there is a moment of "who did this to you" which just touches your soul...
[...]Who fucked up before me? Who fucked around with you and made you feel like loving you was hard work?
Anyway, after the bullying, the in love falling and some grade-A spice, everything goes to hell in a hand basket. And not just like a wee 3rd act break up, no, no, no, girl, half way through the book your heart is ripped the fuck to shreds and you are left shaking. And it doesn't all get glued back together right away.
[...]"Did you give me Icees?"
He smiles, small and smug and wistful with his sad eyes. "I gave you everything I thought you wanted. " Staaaaaaahp.
I mean... 😭😭😭😭 I cried. I cried reading the part with Ezra's back story. Some parts are very hard. I read a bunch of pages through my fingers, like you do when you watch a trainwreck happening real time. These boys did not have it easy finding their way back to each other. But love each other - did they ever! That wins out in the end (such a hopeful message).
I wish we all had love like Josh and Ezra. If there is a criticism, I had hoped for more vindication in the mom story arc. Because Ezra deserved that.
[...]"I don't really know you. But I feel like I can't live without you."
For me this was an excellent, 5-star read, with amazing character development, unexpected twists, heavy on the spice, as well as triggers and Trauma.
Highest recommendation for all, even if you never read queer or M/M romance!
Lots of triggers.
I came here for a smutty enemies-to-lovers romance, but what I got was puffy eyes, aching chest, bitten knuckles, disregulated nervous system and a massive book hangover.
A little tip before you too embark on this life changing journey that is reading this book: disregard the cover, and the blurb for that matter. Neither does this story justice.
This is the tale of Ezra and Josh, told in dual POV, and crosses over a couple of years. They are stepbrothers in senior year of HS, meeting for the first time when Ezra comes to live with his dad, who is married to Josh's mom. Josh is gay and is comfortable with it, although he is still not officially out, but he doesn't have any anticipatory anxiety about it either. It's very clear that although he is aware of homophobia he isn't bothered. Ezra is adamant about not being gay. But we, readers, know something is really off. He is struggling. The circumstances surrounding their first interactions already induce light knuckle biting because he keeps trying to low key off himself (major TWs throughout).
By the way, the writing is accessible but very poetic in a contemporary kind of way.
[...]Ezra's lips twitch, and for a long, arrhythmic moment, his lake eyes hold onto my eyes like he's telling me a secret with his mind.
Girl, hate them arrhythmic moments.
[...]This whole thing where I can't stop thinking about him is just bizarre self-flagellation.
I know exactly what you mean, Josh.
The boys fall in love in the most beautiful way. Like I said, I came here for the smut but oh my god did their romance give all the feels, and then gave some more.
[...]"Never jump," I whisper.
"Never fall." His lips brush my back. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Something about the way they describe their feelings for each other just. undoes. a. person. Is it because it's so relatable? Or so pure and innocent and inexperienced so feels utterly untainted?
[...]Not because I have a right to know - but so I'd have something to grab hold of. I feel like I'm falling through thin air alone.
Also, there is a moment of "who did this to you" which just touches your soul...
[...]Who fucked up before me? Who fucked around with you and made you feel like loving you was hard work?
Anyway, after the bullying, the in love falling and some grade-A spice, everything goes to hell in a hand basket. And not just like a wee 3rd act break up, no, no, no, girl, half way through the book your heart is ripped the fuck to shreds and you are left shaking. And it doesn't all get glued back together right away.
[...]"Did you give me Icees?"
He smiles, small and smug and wistful with his sad eyes. "I gave you everything I thought you wanted. " Staaaaaaahp.
I mean... 😭😭😭😭 I cried. I cried reading the part with Ezra's back story. Some parts are very hard. I read a bunch of pages through my fingers, like you do when you watch a trainwreck happening real time. These boys did not have it easy finding their way back to each other. But love each other - did they ever! That wins out in the end (such a hopeful message).
I wish we all had love like Josh and Ezra. If there is a criticism, I had hoped for more vindication in the mom story arc. Because Ezra deserved that.
[...]"I don't really know you. But I feel like I can't live without you."
For me this was an excellent, 5-star read, with amazing character development, unexpected twists, heavy on the spice, as well as triggers and Trauma.
Highest recommendation for all, even if you never read queer or M/M romance!
January 6, 2025
Before anything else, I want to thank my incredible book buddy (Starycalm81) for another wonderful recommendation. There are so many incredible books I've read because of you. So thank you*** Venting and swooning over these boys was a privilege.*
Well, this book has been on my TBR for a while now, but i was afraid of the size of it... I wasn't sure i was ready for this investment, but damn, I WAS! Read this in three days because putting it down was not an option. And even the things I've read as bad in other reviews made me love and connect even more with Ezra Masters and the unicorn Josh Miller.
It was a story of love, passion, sacrifice, true caring, and surrender to another like i've ever read. Yes, they were teenagers, and sometimes the complexity and maturity felt surreal, but maybe there are boys like this in the world. Full of mind-blowing love for each other... I finished believing that I believe in true love, and if I were in such a dark place and in so much suffering as Ezra was, I would only hope to be saved by a Millsy... The way he always says and does the right thing, even if he hurts himself in the process... heart-touching... Their attention to detail is incredible; they are so selfless...
It's a hard book to read; the middle part, after all the swooning love hits very hard, turns into an angst fest that physically hurts...For noths sides... each one of them in their own personal hell...
Let me tell you about some parents and religious zelots... FUCK them! How the fuck can that even be a thing? Humans are really the plage of this earth, and i know this was a book, but knowing that somewhere in this world people treat their own sons and daughters that way... makes me cry and lose any hope in humans...
Its lame? Yes, it is.... Prepare for a overload of lameness, adorable abuse of angel, and I love you and I love you more... and also prepare to love it all!
They are both so worthy of that love, and I was so glad for the amount of comfort the author gave us after all that hurt.
Josh Miller... He can't be real... How can someone be so happy, so good, and so perfect? And Ezra is even broken and lost in his grief... How can he be so strong and fight for what was missing in his life and deal with all the horrible things done to him? Both angels, kings, and princes***
They discover their sexuality together in the most godamn hot sex i've read... Every time I read "I have an idea," I knew contortionist shit was about to go down in the most hot way possible. And trust me, these boys have stamina.... to be young again...
Things felt off... Besides the bitch mother of Ezra... who deserves THAT closet for eternity :( stupid hypocrite... (wishing she suffered more....)
Their talk is very juvenile sometimes... and I notice it more because they seem so grown up in the real tough decisions; a lot of sweering and dudes and man... There are some plot holes from the parents... Their absence or lack of concern felt off, and unlike the nice parents they were portrayed as, sometimes too much detail, like the colour or brand of the clothes... But overall, there was nothing that hurt the story.
It was an incredible story, and I'm so glad they got through it and can finally breathe and be happy.
Well, this book has been on my TBR for a while now, but i was afraid of the size of it... I wasn't sure i was ready for this investment, but damn, I WAS! Read this in three days because putting it down was not an option. And even the things I've read as bad in other reviews made me love and connect even more with Ezra Masters and the unicorn Josh Miller.
It was a story of love, passion, sacrifice, true caring, and surrender to another like i've ever read. Yes, they were teenagers, and sometimes the complexity and maturity felt surreal, but maybe there are boys like this in the world. Full of mind-blowing love for each other... I finished believing that I believe in true love, and if I were in such a dark place and in so much suffering as Ezra was, I would only hope to be saved by a Millsy... The way he always says and does the right thing, even if he hurts himself in the process... heart-touching... Their attention to detail is incredible; they are so selfless...
It's a hard book to read; the middle part, after all the swooning love hits very hard, turns into an angst fest that physically hurts...For noths sides... each one of them in their own personal hell...
Let me tell you about some parents and religious zelots... FUCK them! How the fuck can that even be a thing? Humans are really the plage of this earth, and i know this was a book, but knowing that somewhere in this world people treat their own sons and daughters that way... makes me cry and lose any hope in humans...
Its lame? Yes, it is.... Prepare for a overload of lameness, adorable abuse of angel, and I love you and I love you more... and also prepare to love it all!
They are both so worthy of that love, and I was so glad for the amount of comfort the author gave us after all that hurt.
Josh Miller... He can't be real... How can someone be so happy, so good, and so perfect? And Ezra is even broken and lost in his grief... How can he be so strong and fight for what was missing in his life and deal with all the horrible things done to him? Both angels, kings, and princes***
They discover their sexuality together in the most godamn hot sex i've read... Every time I read "I have an idea," I knew contortionist shit was about to go down in the most hot way possible. And trust me, these boys have stamina.... to be young again...
Things felt off... Besides the bitch mother of Ezra... who deserves THAT closet for eternity :( stupid hypocrite... (wishing she suffered more....)
Their talk is very juvenile sometimes... and I notice it more because they seem so grown up in the real tough decisions; a lot of sweering and dudes and man... There are some plot holes from the parents... Their absence or lack of concern felt off, and unlike the nice parents they were portrayed as, sometimes too much detail, like the colour or brand of the clothes... But overall, there was nothing that hurt the story.
It was an incredible story, and I'm so glad they got through it and can finally breathe and be happy.
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