單身女子必修的27堂課〔修訂版〕：從尋找真愛到美滿婚姻的成功之路

by Laura Doyle, 蘿拉朵依爾

內容簡介
正在尋找真愛的妳，是否常碰到令人沮喪的狀況……
*戀情總在爭吵中結束。
*期待好男人前來邀約，卻未能如願。
*好不容易跟一個還不錯的男人約會，但各自回家後就再也沒有連絡。
*明明覺得世界上一定有個適合自己的男人，可是就像被施了魔咒般，怎麼也找不到這個人？

聰明的單身女子為了避免再受傷害，以為最好的方法就是主動掌控每件事，讓自己有安全感。如此一來，卻不自覺地犯了幾個大忌，把身邊的好男人都嚇跑了……
*自我設限，永遠找不到適合的人。
*主導約會的內容和進度，卻無法了解對方的想法，也不能享受約會的樂趣。
*指揮男友，想讓對方成為自己想要的樣子。


如果妳相信自己應得到溫暖甜蜜的關係，
如果妳對充滿愛及歡樂的婚姻抱持希望，
請跟著蘿拉朵依爾的逐步指導，
拋開心中莫名的恐懼，勇於接受邀約及男方的好意，
展現最有魅力的那一面，讓你的真命天子主動來找妳！


作者介紹
作者簡介

蘿拉朵依爾Laura Doyle
蘿拉朵依爾是紐約時報暢銷書排行榜《順服的妻子──找回夫妻間的親密、熱情與和諧》的作者，她帶領專門為妻子和單身女郎開設的順服工作坊，告訴女性朋友如何找到愛侶，並保持兩性親密、熱情的關係。
蘿拉曾經擔任行銷公司的文案撰稿，並在聖荷西州立大學取得新聞學位，她目前和先生約翰朵依爾住在加州。


相關著作:《單身女子必修的27堂課》《老娘幹嘛這麼累》《順服的妻子〔修訂版〕》

譯者簡介

陳彬彬
淡江大學法國語文學系畢業，從事電視編劇、寫作、翻譯等文字工作，創作範圍廣泛，尤其致力於旅遊、藝術、兩性關係等領域的探索。
著有《藝術裡的祕密》、《藝術裡的地獄天堂》、《藝術裡的人體之美》、《從零開始圖解西洋名畫》、《從零開始圖解達文西》、《從零開始圖解梵谷》、《從零開始讀莫內的光與影》、《歐洲瘋》、《我性蕩漾》等書；譯有《CSI犯罪現場：邁阿密熱浪》、《道爾馬克四重奏》、《五分鐘到高潮》、《誘惑巧克力》等書。



目錄
前言 為戀愛學分做準備
* 小測驗：面對真命天子，妳是否具有吸引力？

第1課 承認自己想結婚
放下獨立自主的身段與職場上女強人的作風

第2課 放棄尋找完美的男人
順服的接受一個不完美的對象

第3課 停止批評，開始欣賞
不要妄想找個像閨中密友一般無話不談的男人

第4課 對每個男人微笑
隨時保持微笑，養成自然反應的習慣；穿有女人味的衣服

第5課 讓男人約妳
散發自己樂於交往的訊息，鼓勵男士約妳出去

第6課 重新思考對約會的看法
不要怕約會，約會是唯一能確認想不想嫁給他的方法

第7課 恐懼讓人裹足不前
不要害怕全心投入浪漫的戀愛關係

第8課 離開舊情人
從女性朋友那兒尋求支持和慰藉

第9課 每天都要快樂
每天做三件讓自己快樂的事

第10課 優雅的接受
接受男方的好意、禮物，懂得接受，機會更多

第11課 利用交友中心
在約會中練習該有的自信；開放擇偶條件

第12課 放下偏見接受邀約
在眾多約會對象中找到對的人

第13課 拒絕的藝術
不想赴約，只需禮貌且明確的說：不

第14課 第一次接觸
戒掉多話的毛病，儘量傾聽，才能專注自己的想法、感受

第15課 充滿樂趣的約會
避免抱怨，不要過度謙虛

第16課 保留預備人選
已有約會對象，仍不應太早放棄其他候選人

第17課 活在當下
享受約會當下的快樂，不要把對方設想成未來的老公

第18課 區分好男人與壞男人
遠離酗酒、嗑藥、暴力的男人

第19課 誰是真命天子
誠實可靠的男人跟壞男人哪個可愛

第20課 不要用性愛控制愛情
別以為上了床，他就會聽妳的

第21課 要不得的控制慾
不要想一再確認男友對妳的愛意，那是一種控制

第22課 相信他的能力
分清楚該幫與不該幫的事，做情人，不要做老媽子

第23課 單純地表達受傷的情緒
不要因過度期待對方而受傷，不要預設交往進程時間表

第24課 保持原來的生活
不要讓愛情排斥了生活中其他的活動

第25課 帶出情人最好的一面
展現最美善的自己，對他會有正面的影響

第26課 同居前應慎思
未相互許下承諾前，不要同居

第27課 該是結婚的時候了
說明想結婚的立場，但不要下最後通牒

結語 順服的奇蹟

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Christian, Romance

392 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 30, 2019

About the author

Laura Doyle is the author of the book The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace with a Man (Simon & Schuster 2001), The Surrendered Single: A Practical Guide to Attracting and Marrying the Man Who's Right for You (Simon & Schuster 2002), and Things Will Get as Good as you Can Stand (Simon & Schuster 2004) She leads workshops and seminars that have helped thousands of women find the intimacy they crave.

Doyle's book caught the attention of major media the world over, including Dateline NBC, The Today Show, The View, Montel Williams Show, Politically Incorrect, The New York Times, Marie Claire UK, The London Telegraph and many others. The Los Angeles Times calls Doyle part of a new trend and writes that "members of her group...swear by its effectiveness in relieving marital discord and their inability to cope with the pressures of trying to be superwomen."

In her books, lectures and seminars, Doyle reveals her own experiences from her fifteen-year marriage, as well as practical, simple techniques that women can use to attract and revitalize intimacy immediately.

Prior to writing The Surrendered Wife, Doyle enjoyed a successful career as a marketing copywriter. She is a graduate with honors from San Jose State University's journalism department.

Reviews

[Cresanna Kahrl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Be forewarned: this book is not written from a Christian worldview, which is why I only gave it 4 stars instead of 5 ... there are a few areas in which I disagree with the moral standards set forth in this book.

However, other than the brief section of the book that encourages couples to live together before marriage, the principles on dating and courtship are very helpful, and generally biblically sound.

In a culture of "women's rights" and "equal opportunity", The Surrendered Single presents a refreshing approach to relationships, encouraging young women to let men take their role as the leaders in relationships and providing practical tips on how to invite and encourage him to lead.

[Jasmyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I guess it worked! ;) No, honestly--this is a great book about surrendering control of the universe and allowing great men to come into your life. The more feminine and gentle you become, tapping into the true power of womanhood, the more masculine and protective the men in your life become. It's true--and this author puts it in such a practical and beautiful light.

[Danielle Notz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listen, pick and choose what you like from this book. Throw out the raisins, enjoy the trail mix.

All I know is that I hadn’t dated in years and after taking the advice of being more open and accepting, smiling at everyone, and accepting that you want a relationship I got asked out multiple times within the week of reading it and I was barely trying.

Outdated, yes. A little patriarchal, yes. But when she’s right, she’s right.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm kind of embarrassed that I read this. I have to say, she made some really good points throughout. The book is all about surrendering control and also about letting men be men to take the lead in dating (I'm old fashioned and still believe that should be the way). However, it's not about being a passive woman. It's very much the opposite. I can't explain all of the details, but you should read it if you're single. If you're married, I think she has a version for married woman…it also focuses on avoiding trying to control your spouse.

One thing, she's not LDS, so her perspective is a little different when it comes to physical contact and living
together before marriage, which I don't endorse.

[Harlow · Rating 4 out of 5]

A happily married friend suggested I read "The Surrendered Wife."

I discovered "The Surrendered Single. . ." which is perfect for a girl starting to date again. Laura Doyle's writing style makes for a quick read. She discusses the importance of self care, how to receive graciously, etc. The author gives examples and shares her own mistakes and lessons learned from marriage.

I also read "Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent." I wish I had read both books in my twenties!

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a general rule, I loathe self-help books. However, I have to make an exception for this one. It does have cheesy language all over in it - but for the most part, it's a pretty serious compilation of very good advice. I actually felt it was really worth my while (which I did not at all expect) and only rolled my eyes a handful of times as opposed to all the way through the book. There were several pointers in here that I would do well to implement.

[Shelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed the supportive viewpoints and real-life stories presented in this book. It illustrated the ways that you can radiate personal self-esteem even when you feel uncomfortable in the world of dating.

A "good advice" book for the single woman.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read for every single woman. I felt like the book was speaking to me all the way through. So many things that Laura talks about as being "Don'ts" that I have done in past relationships! Definitely worth the read!

[lizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

i recommend this book for all women single or not!! jen and rachel i'll be mailing this to you soon!! :) XOXO

[Coffee&Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book probably every 6 months or so. It's one of my staples and I recommend it to a lot of people. It completely changed my outlook on dating and being single.

[sharla · Rating 5 out of 5]

reading this book lead me to "Mr. Right" There is also "the surrendered Wife" which I would like to read also.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great advice, and given in a way you can really relate to.

[Digitalsulis · Rating 5 out of 5]

If women can read this and figure out how to internalize these ideas and use them society would run much more smoothly.

[Samothy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really great insight into how your behaviour can be interpreted by men in the early stages of a relationship. I had to bypass a few ideas I don't agree with morally, but all in all, quite useful!

[Kathleen Jennings]

Read for circuitous reasons involving story research & irritating friends.

[Emma Louise · Rating 1 out of 5]

For any lady considering leaning on Laura Doyle's books for assistance with their marriage or joining the Laura Doyle Ridiculously Happy Wives Programme or Relationship Coach Training Programme, I encourage you to read my review by following the link below.

It explains my experience during the July 2023 intake Relationship Coach Training Programme, which sadly was not favourable for me, along with subsequent revelations surrounding their back-office administration and inability to handle my client data professionally.

https://relationshipcoachtrainingrevi...

[A Lwa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Surprisingly simple

Ms Doyle’s advice to become the surrendered single can be summed up in the following control yourself not others and communicate your needs in an honest manipulation free manner.

[Debra Oria]

I have been down sizing books, and in the process pick up some and read them prior to donating. That was the case with this book as I currently am single. It was a quick read and has some good points.

[Haley | Routed Nomad · Rating 5 out of 5]

you found it! the best dating book! Doyle does not hold back! These testmonies of love, marriage, and loss provide so much wisdom in the psychology of relationships and will hopefully save you so much heartbreak! 💓

[Lauren Rust · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a mixed bag of great nuggets and also perspectives on dating that differ wildly from scripture. I did enjoy the read both because it made me think and because it helped me to see some things I need to grow in. Caveats needed though.

[Siomara M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written. Brings back any and all hope you could've ever possibly lost.

[Alicia Meyers · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for every woman!

[Kanu Promise]

Very great book to read .

[Katherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really great self-help book.

[K. Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

A friend of mine told me that she was reading it and wanted me to read it too--why not? I love it when people give me books to read. This one was only so-so. As I firmly believe that everyone meets everyone else differently I was not at all looking forward to reading an 'absolute foolproof' step-by-step way of meeting the man of my dreams. Yeah right.
That being said, there were some very interesting things in this book that I think help out in any situation and relationship: family, friends, co-workers. There are always going to be moments in any relationship where everyone needs to just radically surrender and say, "I can't change that person, I can just love them". In that way, this book was excellent.
Finding a good man who will treat me well? Well, let's just say there were parts of this book that made me full-on depressed as it always hinges on the fact that you will be dating good men who want to treat you well; and, so many of the women I care for, well...don't have that even though they are doing everything this book says to do.

[NzingaMarie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had this book for a long time and for some reason just never got through it. Now, I think it's more needed and more important so I flew right through it.

This is basically the manual of everything we know we need to do, but forget. The author makes so much sense, it's just not until you look back at your own relationship that you realize you're making the mistakes she's talking about.

I feel a little more confident now knowing I've got something I can go to as a reference when the time comes to use it.

[Cara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some really good ideas and came into my life at a time when I needed to rethink some of the ways I prejudge men. That said: there were things that I didn't agree with. If you're planning to read it, do so with an alert mind.

[Belen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great Book! I do not agree with all the author advice, but this one really helped me to think outside the box, and understand what's the position of a woman, in the dating world.

I highly recommend it for girls who are dating or single.! It´s a must read.

[Nalene]

Just started reading it... maybe it'll give me some insight. Shelved the book a while ago, haven't gotten back to it. It's not high on the list of books to read, but I'll get to it someday. :)

[Kjistrouble · Rating 2 out of 5]

Made me feel kinda lousy. Some good ideas, but didn't find it even remotely empowering.