What do you think?
Rate this book
The Married Man
Austin is an American furniture scholar living in Paris. He is pushing fifty, loveless, drifting. One day at the gym he meets French, an architect, much younger and married. Against every expectation, this chance acquaintance matures into profound romance.
As the two men dash between bohemian suppers and sophisticated salons, their only impediments are the easily surmountable and comic clashes of culture, age and temperament. Inevitably, however, Julien's past catches up with them. With increasing desperation, in a quest to save health and happiness, they move from the shuttered squares of Venice to sun-drenched Key West, to Montreal in the snow and Providence in the rain. But it is amid the bleak, baking sands of the Sahara that their love is pushed to its ultimate crisis.
Haunting and deeply moving, The Married Man carries the reader along with its protagonists into uncharted emotional territory, over the rim of love and loss. It is Edmund White's finest novel.
As the two men dash between bohemian suppers and sophisticated salons, their only impediments are the easily surmountable and comic clashes of culture, age and temperament. Inevitably, however, Julien's past catches up with them. With increasing desperation, in a quest to save health and happiness, they move from the shuttered squares of Venice to sun-drenched Key West, to Montreal in the snow and Providence in the rain. But it is amid the bleak, baking sands of the Sahara that their love is pushed to its ultimate crisis.
Haunting and deeply moving, The Married Man carries the reader along with its protagonists into uncharted emotional territory, over the rim of love and loss. It is Edmund White's finest novel.
310 pages, Hardcover
First published May 30, 2000
61 people are currently reading
1795 people want to read
About the author
Edmund White
139 books910 followersEdmund Valentine White III was an American novelist, memoirist, playwright, biographer, and essayist. He was the recipient of Lambda Literary's Visionary Award, the National Book Foundation's Lifetime Achievement Award, and the PEN/Saul Bellow Award for Achievement in American Fiction. France made him Chevalier (and later Officier) de l'Ordre des Arts et des Lettres in 1993.
White was known as a groundbreaking writer of gay literature and a major influence on gay American literature and has been called "the first major queer novelist to champion a new generation of writers."
White was known as a groundbreaking writer of gay literature and a major influence on gay American literature and has been called "the first major queer novelist to champion a new generation of writers."
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 83 reviews
June 5, 2018
Edmund White follows up his acclaimed autobiographical trilogy (A Boy's Own Story, The Beautiful Room Is Empty, The Farewell Symphony) with The Married Man, a richly textured novel about love, sex and mortality.
A sort of gay response to Thomas Mann's Death In Venice, the book opens breezily enough with a pickup scene in a Parisian gym, where the middle-aged American furniture scholar Austin meets the younger, and married, French architect Julien. The two exchange numbers, and before long they're embarked on a love affair that takes them through chatty dinner parties, an amicable divorce, and then, when AIDS rears its head, some abrupt changes of locale and sentiment.
White's working on an ambitious Jamesian canvas here, introducing us to half a dozen cultures in just over 300 pages. And he succeeds. The prose is poetic yet controlled, erotic and sensuous. Think Proust on poppers.
Austin can't enter a room without White describing, in a gently ironic way, the room's contents and, especially, its people. Sometimes irony gives way to satire, as when Austin moves back to the States after a long absence and encounters early-90s-style academic political correctness.
If the multiple shifts in geography confuse and seem like a novelist's stratagem to write off expensive trips to Cancun, Key West, Venice, Rome and Marrakesh – I'm not exaggerating – they do eventually capture the characters' restless search for lost time.
Essentially, the novel is a gay love story, not just between Austin and man-with-a-past Julien but between Austin and his small circle of ex-lovers and friends, male and female. It's about the mystery and transience of life and love. It's about living fully in the present.
What's most refreshing, though, is that White, who just turned 60, never apologizes for the age and erudition of his characters.
As Virginia Woolf once wrote about Middlemarch, this is a novel for grown-ups.
A sort of gay response to Thomas Mann's Death In Venice, the book opens breezily enough with a pickup scene in a Parisian gym, where the middle-aged American furniture scholar Austin meets the younger, and married, French architect Julien. The two exchange numbers, and before long they're embarked on a love affair that takes them through chatty dinner parties, an amicable divorce, and then, when AIDS rears its head, some abrupt changes of locale and sentiment.
White's working on an ambitious Jamesian canvas here, introducing us to half a dozen cultures in just over 300 pages. And he succeeds. The prose is poetic yet controlled, erotic and sensuous. Think Proust on poppers.
Austin can't enter a room without White describing, in a gently ironic way, the room's contents and, especially, its people. Sometimes irony gives way to satire, as when Austin moves back to the States after a long absence and encounters early-90s-style academic political correctness.
If the multiple shifts in geography confuse and seem like a novelist's stratagem to write off expensive trips to Cancun, Key West, Venice, Rome and Marrakesh – I'm not exaggerating – they do eventually capture the characters' restless search for lost time.
Essentially, the novel is a gay love story, not just between Austin and man-with-a-past Julien but between Austin and his small circle of ex-lovers and friends, male and female. It's about the mystery and transience of life and love. It's about living fully in the present.
What's most refreshing, though, is that White, who just turned 60, never apologizes for the age and erudition of his characters.
As Virginia Woolf once wrote about Middlemarch, this is a novel for grown-ups.
Read
February 13, 2011The premise of The Married Man sounded Alan-Hollinghurst-ish enough to ring my bell: aging gay writer, Austin -- an American living in Paris -- falls in love with a charmingly-earnest younger man, Julien, who still seems caught up in his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Christine.
The ingredients of a pleasing yarn are all there: Edmund White is frank about sexuality and inquisitive about the oddities of Parisian society, and the off-kilter love story of Austin and Julien should be enough to glue the novel together.
Unfortunately, it's really, really not.
White writes well, but I found his narrative tiringly digressive. He can't seem to focus his attention long enough to really make the reader care about Austin and Julien.
Though there is real horror inherant in the novel -- the protagonist is HIV-positive -- I couldn't shake the feeling that it just seemed to be yet another novel about rich white dudes and their "problems". (White takes great pains to tell the reader that Austin lives hand-to-mouth, while also describing his lovely Parisian apartment; the gourmet dinners he cooks; the charming travel breaks he takes; along with his unstrenuous job. Gee, life's tough.)
Maybe White manages to bring The Married Man to a compelling conclusion, but I simply couldn't be bothered to read past page 80.
The ingredients of a pleasing yarn are all there: Edmund White is frank about sexuality and inquisitive about the oddities of Parisian society, and the off-kilter love story of Austin and Julien should be enough to glue the novel together.
Unfortunately, it's really, really not.
White writes well, but I found his narrative tiringly digressive. He can't seem to focus his attention long enough to really make the reader care about Austin and Julien.
Though there is real horror inherant in the novel -- the protagonist is HIV-positive -- I couldn't shake the feeling that it just seemed to be yet another novel about rich white dudes and their "problems". (White takes great pains to tell the reader that Austin lives hand-to-mouth, while also describing his lovely Parisian apartment; the gourmet dinners he cooks; the charming travel breaks he takes; along with his unstrenuous job. Gee, life's tough.)
Maybe White manages to bring The Married Man to a compelling conclusion, but I simply couldn't be bothered to read past page 80.
September 6, 2016
An often beautiful and also sad commentary on gay men in the early days of AIDS. Though one of our "tribe's" best-known authors, this is the first Edmund White book I've read, and I'm actually quite torn by it. His writing is fantastic, no question, and he can conjure Morocco, Paris, Providence or Key West so much that you could close your eyes and feel that you're there. The part that leaves me torn is the often superficial, childlike way in which he portrays gay men, and I don't know if it is because that is not the way that I want people to think we are, or because that is not the way that I want people to know that we sometimes are. At times when my gut reaction was "oh, that's so over the top", a few moments later I might recall some situation or someone I have known, and went "oh, wait a second". Certainly, if not mostly for gay men, a thought provoking take on who we are, who we have been, what our relationships look like, and all that we have been through.
April 14, 2016
Our preeminent gay author delivers a heartbreaking account of life - and, ultimately, death - with AIDS for a group of modern-day expat friends splitting their time between Paris and the States. While at times White's treatment seems aloof, deferring to the supposed superiority of French culture and European manners, his approach is a calculated one, lulling the reading into a beautiful - the man has an absolute gift for description - and genteel world before unharnessing the fatal blow. White shows the ephemerality of queer life here, the blanket rejection by the straight world and the subsequent necessity to create these inter-generational, inter-class connections that earlier felt rarified and pretension. A master stylist.
If you liked this, make sure to follow me on Goodreads for more reviews!
If you liked this, make sure to follow me on Goodreads for more reviews!
January 27, 2025
The only possible conclusion to reach from reading this, is that White is nothing but a talented charlatan. It seems that systematically dropping the names of influential people in your books does help building a reputation as a worthy author.
It is difficult to know where to begin with what is wrong with this book. There is so much: the social neediness, the pomposity, the contradictions, the delusions, the factual inaccuracies, the unpleasantness of the unbelievable characters. Perhaps however it is the faintly poisonous streak that runs through its pages that makes all the rest unforgivable.
The first 50-or-so pages are possibly the worst in the book, although perhaps that's how long it took to become more or less immune to White's offering. Still, having noticed so much that wasn't quite right in those few pages, I quickly lost trust in the author and found myself too often unable to suspend my disbelief and questioning almost everything I read. Not the ideal conditions to enjoy and appreciate a piece of fiction.
Inaccuracies and inconsistencies are numerous. As a recognised, published expert in 17th and 18th century France and its furniture, the main character (MC), Austin Smith, who is clearly modelled on White himself, it is implied, is "an impartial, objective American, respectful of the truth and impressed by any fair challenge to his version of things" (p41). Yet almost every time a historical reference is made in the book, some inaccuracy* is included.
Smith is, we are told, living "virtually hand to mouth" (p25), caught up in a delusion of genteel slumming in a flat on the Ile Saint Louis (the very heart of Paris), while being able to financially support his ex in New York completely (p80).
Of his young friends we know that they are supposed to be poor, while all are clearly middle-class professionals. In fact it seems that, too busy jet-setting around the world, Smith/White has no idea of the actual value of money. Lucien, Smith's lover, is described as "poor", yet we are told (p68) that he earns the modern equivalent of £3,000/month. He is an architect, after all!
A further self-delusion of the MC is that he is a worldly objective observer (that worldliness is supposedly highlighted by his fondness (at least in the early pages of the book) for crude remarks). That doesn't however stop him from regularly showing his own prejudices. He is certainly not afraid of stereotypes, or even a spot of casual racism (p120) when he feels like it.
On the subject of prejudices, I could also mention the high number of self-loathing men included in this book, who can't quite accept their sexuality, or the quasi fetishisation of some imaginary vision of France White has wrapped himself into, that is only balanced by his loathing of the US. French people are all supposedly witty, clever and super elegant aristocrats, while Americans (unless they are expats!) are all boring inarticulate slobs who dress in charity shops.
Smith/White is not half as clever has he thinks he is himself either, as shown for example by the clumsy twaddle on pages 30 and 31.
Indeed throughout the book we are confronted by nonsensical and/or improbable tidbits that often even the characters (we are told) don't believe themselves. Who, for example, would not be able to tell the difference between fish and veal?! (p47-48) White's knowledge of French itself is not as good as he thinks it is. There are numerous mistakes in his translations or unidiomatic uses of the language by supposed native speakers.
The author and his characters are in the end too pretentious and pompous to be likeable. Smith and Lucien are childish (talking about sex like giggling children) and snobbishly contemptuous, to the point of nastiness in the case of Julien. None of the characters in this fantastical world created by Smith/White feel particularly real either.
As a result of all this a story that should have been treated with the upmost care and sensitivity is defiled by the form of the book.
I realise this probably reads as an unstructured list of grievances but to be honest I don't think this books diverse more attention than I have already given it.
* Here are the inaccuracies I managed to spot:
- The death scene in the Cyrano de Bergerac film was indeed shot at an abbey, but that of Fontenay, not one turned into a hotel on the other side of Paris.
- Marie-Antoinette's laiterie in Rambouillet was completed in 1787, not 15 years later while the French monarchy was being dismantled. They would have had more serious things to think about than finish a pleasure pavilion!
- Louis XIV was 15, not 12 when he dressed up as the Sun King
- a book not to be published for another 4 years is apparently gracing the window of a bookshop the MC visits
- the statues on Place de la Concorde are allegories of rivers, not cities.
It is difficult to know where to begin with what is wrong with this book. There is so much: the social neediness, the pomposity, the contradictions, the delusions, the factual inaccuracies, the unpleasantness of the unbelievable characters. Perhaps however it is the faintly poisonous streak that runs through its pages that makes all the rest unforgivable.
The first 50-or-so pages are possibly the worst in the book, although perhaps that's how long it took to become more or less immune to White's offering. Still, having noticed so much that wasn't quite right in those few pages, I quickly lost trust in the author and found myself too often unable to suspend my disbelief and questioning almost everything I read. Not the ideal conditions to enjoy and appreciate a piece of fiction.
Inaccuracies and inconsistencies are numerous. As a recognised, published expert in 17th and 18th century France and its furniture, the main character (MC), Austin Smith, who is clearly modelled on White himself, it is implied, is "an impartial, objective American, respectful of the truth and impressed by any fair challenge to his version of things" (p41). Yet almost every time a historical reference is made in the book, some inaccuracy* is included.
Smith is, we are told, living "virtually hand to mouth" (p25), caught up in a delusion of genteel slumming in a flat on the Ile Saint Louis (the very heart of Paris), while being able to financially support his ex in New York completely (p80).
Of his young friends we know that they are supposed to be poor, while all are clearly middle-class professionals. In fact it seems that, too busy jet-setting around the world, Smith/White has no idea of the actual value of money. Lucien, Smith's lover, is described as "poor", yet we are told (p68) that he earns the modern equivalent of £3,000/month. He is an architect, after all!
A further self-delusion of the MC is that he is a worldly objective observer (that worldliness is supposedly highlighted by his fondness (at least in the early pages of the book) for crude remarks). That doesn't however stop him from regularly showing his own prejudices. He is certainly not afraid of stereotypes, or even a spot of casual racism (p120) when he feels like it.
On the subject of prejudices, I could also mention the high number of self-loathing men included in this book, who can't quite accept their sexuality, or the quasi fetishisation of some imaginary vision of France White has wrapped himself into, that is only balanced by his loathing of the US. French people are all supposedly witty, clever and super elegant aristocrats, while Americans (unless they are expats!) are all boring inarticulate slobs who dress in charity shops.
Smith/White is not half as clever has he thinks he is himself either, as shown for example by the clumsy twaddle on pages 30 and 31.
Indeed throughout the book we are confronted by nonsensical and/or improbable tidbits that often even the characters (we are told) don't believe themselves. Who, for example, would not be able to tell the difference between fish and veal?! (p47-48) White's knowledge of French itself is not as good as he thinks it is. There are numerous mistakes in his translations or unidiomatic uses of the language by supposed native speakers.
The author and his characters are in the end too pretentious and pompous to be likeable. Smith and Lucien are childish (talking about sex like giggling children) and snobbishly contemptuous, to the point of nastiness in the case of Julien. None of the characters in this fantastical world created by Smith/White feel particularly real either.
As a result of all this a story that should have been treated with the upmost care and sensitivity is defiled by the form of the book.
I realise this probably reads as an unstructured list of grievances but to be honest I don't think this books diverse more attention than I have already given it.
* Here are the inaccuracies I managed to spot:
- The death scene in the Cyrano de Bergerac film was indeed shot at an abbey, but that of Fontenay, not one turned into a hotel on the other side of Paris.
- Marie-Antoinette's laiterie in Rambouillet was completed in 1787, not 15 years later while the French monarchy was being dismantled. They would have had more serious things to think about than finish a pleasure pavilion!
- Louis XIV was 15, not 12 when he dressed up as the Sun King
- a book not to be published for another 4 years is apparently gracing the window of a bookshop the MC visits
- the statues on Place de la Concorde are allegories of rivers, not cities.
April 20, 2019
I should've stopped reading this the moment the MC compared breasts to puppies, but unfortunately I (mistakenly) thought it couldn't get worse than that. Chock full of racism and sexism, an unlikable MC (are we supposed to be rooting for this guy, seriously?) and not particularly well-written to boot.
August 26, 2023
I have always read and loved Edmund White's books - indeed I can remember way back in my late teenage years reading his 'Travels in Gay America' in a cold damp London bedsit and just being amazed at 'gay' America - I didn't want to live there, I had in fact rejected living tin the USA so in part had rejected gay America as well, but I admired the freedoms that gay liberationists were demanding and receiving. It was a blueprint of what life could be. It was a long time after that, during which I had read a large number of his novels and other writings, when I sat down to read this absolutely wonderful novel. It might have been the time when I read it but I thought it was very beautiful and very moving. As a love story, a doomed love story I thought it one of his best novels. Perhaps because it was so bound up in his life, love and reaction to France and living in Paris.
Many of White's best novels have been clearly strongly inspired by his own autobiography. I have felt reading stories like 'Skinned Alive' as well as this novel that his writings based in France contained strongly 'autobiographical' elements, but exactly what those elements were I had no idea. It wasn't like his earlier writings such as 'A Boys Own Story' and countless other novels and stories that dealt with his family, childhood, growing up etc. whose status as fiction is in no doubt but whose repeating familial and other characters are drawn from life.
It is harder with his French novels and stories though even a superficial reading will lead one to suspect that Julian in 'The Married Man' Jean-Loup in 'Skinned Alive' are at least inspired by the same person. I think White's time in France will be recognised as giving his writing new life and inspiring him in new ways. I think 'The Married Man' is one of his finest creations it may not be part of his 'autobiographical' oeuvre but it is I think an emotionally honest work which is saying things maybe couldn't say while in the USA. Maybe he needed the distance of geography to be honest about his emotions.
But maybe I am talking rubbish - I have only what the work says to me, my real knowledge of White is minimal and my attempts to know more are even smaller.
This is a novel in which AIDS is as much a character as Paris or the married man. I don't think it is an 'AIDS' novel, but it can't be extracted from its time. There was a great deal written about AIDS and it became an inescapable motif even if it wasn't mentioned. So dominant did it become that some gay men retrospectively, and absurdly, began calling Camus 'The Plague' a gay novel. The literature of that time is very much the elephant in the room of gay literature and literary studies. I don't think any real start has been made at winnowing out the chafe from the grain - and a great deal of it is chafe. AIDS was a cause and event and something that was of paramount importance and inspired an emotional response but that often isn't enough to produce great art. It might be salutary to remember all those 'proletarian' novels of the 1930's inspired by the labour struggle, and the fight against Fascism. Except hardly are remembered except as curiosities and none are being read for pleasure - does anyone read Theodore Dreiser these days? Unfortunately the vast majority of AIDS writing is set to join Dreiser's worthy works.
Having said all that I think 'The Married Man' is one of the novels of that time and theme which will live on because it is not a novel of anger, though there is anger in it, but a novel of what is important passion, love, challenges, death and continuing to live. Nothing is forever, no one dies of love or a broken heart or the loss of someone important. That doesn't mean that losing someone you love doesn't rip your heart out or leave you bereft - but continuing is what life is about - and the narrator of 'The Married Man' having fled his life and country to escape finds nothing more then what he fled from - it is the subtle truth of this novel that makes it great and I believe will allow to live long after AIDS is as forgotten as the Spanish Flu of 1918.
How I would react to it now I don't know, but I treasure the memory of it and consider it one of my favourite books and one I regularly recommend to others.
Many of White's best novels have been clearly strongly inspired by his own autobiography. I have felt reading stories like 'Skinned Alive' as well as this novel that his writings based in France contained strongly 'autobiographical' elements, but exactly what those elements were I had no idea. It wasn't like his earlier writings such as 'A Boys Own Story' and countless other novels and stories that dealt with his family, childhood, growing up etc. whose status as fiction is in no doubt but whose repeating familial and other characters are drawn from life.
It is harder with his French novels and stories though even a superficial reading will lead one to suspect that Julian in 'The Married Man' Jean-Loup in 'Skinned Alive' are at least inspired by the same person. I think White's time in France will be recognised as giving his writing new life and inspiring him in new ways. I think 'The Married Man' is one of his finest creations it may not be part of his 'autobiographical' oeuvre but it is I think an emotionally honest work which is saying things maybe couldn't say while in the USA. Maybe he needed the distance of geography to be honest about his emotions.
But maybe I am talking rubbish - I have only what the work says to me, my real knowledge of White is minimal and my attempts to know more are even smaller.
This is a novel in which AIDS is as much a character as Paris or the married man. I don't think it is an 'AIDS' novel, but it can't be extracted from its time. There was a great deal written about AIDS and it became an inescapable motif even if it wasn't mentioned. So dominant did it become that some gay men retrospectively, and absurdly, began calling Camus 'The Plague' a gay novel. The literature of that time is very much the elephant in the room of gay literature and literary studies. I don't think any real start has been made at winnowing out the chafe from the grain - and a great deal of it is chafe. AIDS was a cause and event and something that was of paramount importance and inspired an emotional response but that often isn't enough to produce great art. It might be salutary to remember all those 'proletarian' novels of the 1930's inspired by the labour struggle, and the fight against Fascism. Except hardly are remembered except as curiosities and none are being read for pleasure - does anyone read Theodore Dreiser these days? Unfortunately the vast majority of AIDS writing is set to join Dreiser's worthy works.
Having said all that I think 'The Married Man' is one of the novels of that time and theme which will live on because it is not a novel of anger, though there is anger in it, but a novel of what is important passion, love, challenges, death and continuing to live. Nothing is forever, no one dies of love or a broken heart or the loss of someone important. That doesn't mean that losing someone you love doesn't rip your heart out or leave you bereft - but continuing is what life is about - and the narrator of 'The Married Man' having fled his life and country to escape finds nothing more then what he fled from - it is the subtle truth of this novel that makes it great and I believe will allow to live long after AIDS is as forgotten as the Spanish Flu of 1918.
How I would react to it now I don't know, but I treasure the memory of it and consider it one of my favourite books and one I regularly recommend to others.
September 18, 2008
The looming tragedy that I felt the whole time that I was reading this book is the only reason why I'm not giving it a five-star rating. I was expecting this book to be a bit melodramatic because of the subject matter (AIDS and a lover dying) but it's really more of a realist's perfect tragic love story.
White is an exquisite writer but I was so overwhelmed with sadness by the time I finished this book that I feel as if I need to lash out at the story's tragedy by blindly removing a perfect star from its rating to make myself feel better.
Most of the time, when I read one of the author's books, I usually just feel like I'm watching a beautiful film because of the very lyrical nature of White's prose. However, this time around, I felt as if I was part of the film crew, inevitably being transported to each and every scene, from the romance in Paris to the tragedy in Morocco, and every place in between, with the hopeful journey from the "Paradise Island" of the Keys featuring a new young God in the main character Austin's life wrapping the story.
In the early part of my reading, I thought the title referred to Julien (the lover) being married, heterosexually married. However, by the time I finished, it was then that I realized that the author was most probably referring to the general idea of what it is to be a married man; the ideal married man, the ideal husband who loves and cares for his partner no matter what, and in whom, even a young God can find solace and comfort.
If only we could all be such a man!
White is an exquisite writer but I was so overwhelmed with sadness by the time I finished this book that I feel as if I need to lash out at the story's tragedy by blindly removing a perfect star from its rating to make myself feel better.
Most of the time, when I read one of the author's books, I usually just feel like I'm watching a beautiful film because of the very lyrical nature of White's prose. However, this time around, I felt as if I was part of the film crew, inevitably being transported to each and every scene, from the romance in Paris to the tragedy in Morocco, and every place in between, with the hopeful journey from the "Paradise Island" of the Keys featuring a new young God in the main character Austin's life wrapping the story.
In the early part of my reading, I thought the title referred to Julien (the lover) being married, heterosexually married. However, by the time I finished, it was then that I realized that the author was most probably referring to the general idea of what it is to be a married man; the ideal married man, the ideal husband who loves and cares for his partner no matter what, and in whom, even a young God can find solace and comfort.
If only we could all be such a man!
June 10, 2015
This book is beautifully written.
The themes contained within (shame, love, guilt, duty) are the ingredients to many great tales of doomed romance. However, the fact that the relationships are conducted under an ever creeping shadow of HIV and AIDS lends this book a desperate and claustrophobic feel. That said, White never allows the story to become morose and moves it along at good pace, never outstaying its welcome in any one location.
The characterisation is impeccable and wholly believable and while the more descriptive elements of the disease's ravages are graphically portrayed, White never allows the characters to lose their dignity.
The vividly described locations further enhance the beauty and tragedy of the story.
Definitely 5/5.
The themes contained within (shame, love, guilt, duty) are the ingredients to many great tales of doomed romance. However, the fact that the relationships are conducted under an ever creeping shadow of HIV and AIDS lends this book a desperate and claustrophobic feel. That said, White never allows the story to become morose and moves it along at good pace, never outstaying its welcome in any one location.
The characterisation is impeccable and wholly believable and while the more descriptive elements of the disease's ravages are graphically portrayed, White never allows the characters to lose their dignity.
The vividly described locations further enhance the beauty and tragedy of the story.
Definitely 5/5.
April 1, 2009
This was a strange book. Edmund White doesn't bother trying to create likable characters, nor does he stray away from taboos or any depiction of gay men that might be condemned as stereotypical or kinky. I like that about him; he's never PC. The way these characters wandered around, travelling, while one was dying from AIDS I found oddly compelling. This is not a "fun" read, nor is it conventional by any means. It's bizarre and troubling, and I generally kept wanting to turn the page.
September 14, 2007
Not one of whites shinning moments.Didnt really care about any of the charecters.If bad things were happening I felt like they deserved them.one of those books that I never have to read again.
June 23, 2012
This book is emotionally unengaged and unengaging. It's all tell and no show. We are told that characters love each other, but see no evidence of that in their interactions. Every time a character appears we are given a couple of paragraphs to tell us how to react to them, what they are meant to be like, but seldom any examples or evidence. I like to be shown characters and then make my own decisions on what I think of them.
It is episodic without any real character development and a lot of brief descriptions of all the places they pointlessly travel to all the time. We are offered facts about these places but no atmosphere or sense of what it's like to actually be there.
I watched men whom I had known for hundreds of pages endure terrible things and felt less than I would have done in response to a bare news item about the same fate. I never felt that I had actually got to know the central figure -- Austin -- at all. He was a man to whom things happened, that was all.
More like two and a half stars, really. Unsatisfying.
It is episodic without any real character development and a lot of brief descriptions of all the places they pointlessly travel to all the time. We are offered facts about these places but no atmosphere or sense of what it's like to actually be there.
I watched men whom I had known for hundreds of pages endure terrible things and felt less than I would have done in response to a bare news item about the same fate. I never felt that I had actually got to know the central figure -- Austin -- at all. He was a man to whom things happened, that was all.
More like two and a half stars, really. Unsatisfying.
August 25, 2017
I had a hard time with this book on a number of levels. The author is a wonderful writer and there are some lovely passages in the book, especially those describing settings, scenes and feelings about events that were very moving. My problem was with the story and characters. Having lived through the experience as a care partner for a dying person, there was a tremendous amount of accuracy. But the story itself was very drawn out - characters seemed to age and yet the years did not seem to pass. However, the hardest thing was the fact that every gay character, and there were many, was undeveloped - emotionally, spiritually - in almost every way dysfunctional. There was no one you were really rooting for. It was hard to care about anyone and they did not seem to care for one another, even those that were supposed to be in love.
August 3, 2018
I've read other books featuring a May- September romance, so I wasn't expecting much as far as that plot element went. What made this one so fascinating were the supporting characters, the friends of each of the men, and their interactions with the partner. But what really won me over was the author's obvious love for France. Though much of the story takes place elsewhere, Paris is never out of mind. I loved how White would often use a phrase, and then include the French translation. I could almost hear it being spoken as I read it. As for the ending, after the men try to get every last bit out of life in the time they have together, it wasn't hard to see what was coming. But even then, what Austin learns about Julien was a revelation.
November 6, 2012
Yawn. I lost interest in the first 100 pages or so, and nothing that happened after that was significant enough to change my mind. Alan Hollinghurst-esque in the worst possible way. Nicely written but nothing else worked for me. I just feel like I've seen this story before (older gay man seems to attract endless stream of young, attractive men - though this novel is somewhat autobiographical, so one has to wonder how much wish fulfilment is going on), and it bores me. 2 stars is probably a bit harsh - it's closer to a 3, I suppose.
May 1, 2020
Obviously a necessary topic to be written and read about, and there isn't any question around Edmund White's writing credentials/ability..... but after about two thirds in I just did not care what happened to any of the characters whatsoever. This was more than just a "realistic, no airs and graces, warts and all" depiction of humans. The characters were just completely unlikeable....if you can get over that it's fine.
June 12, 2020
Finding this hard to review. It's beautifully written but the main character I found so horrible, so selfish it was difficult to feel any sympathy for him whatsoever. I read this 20 years ago and gave it four stars and I don't remember feeling that way towards any character. Maybe I am older and wiser or maybe just more bitter.
November 23, 2017
This should be so moving, but the characters just aren’t very likeable and it’s just so hard to care. Is it love that ties them together or just duty or responsibility? I never really felt the love.
October 10, 2018
The characters never came to life for me; I had no sympathy for their aimless drifting; and when the inevitable end came, I was relieved. Got the second star for the nice descriptions of cities that I love: Paris, Rome, Venice.
December 28, 2022
Review : Austin is een vijftigjarige Amerikaanse schrijver, homoseksueel en seropositief, die in Parijs woont en aan een boek over Franse antieke meubelkunst werkt. Hij verkeert in de betere kringen en houdt er zeer selecte heterogene vriendenkring op na. Het feit dat hij én vijftig is én seropositief maakt hem voor sommige jongere homos een stuk minder aantrekkelijk om een relatie aan te gaan. En Austin valt nu eenmaal voor jongere mannen. Hij heeft nog maar net een avontuurtje met een jonge Fransman achter de rug die Austin toch wel te oud vond, en ook zijn ex-partner de Amerikaanse Peter is een flink stuk jonger dan hij. Peter heeft al flink aids ontwikkeld en dat maakt dat hij sommige periodes zo ziek is dat hij totaal werkonbekwaam is. Niettegenstaande Peter en Austin geen relatie meer hebben blijft Austin zich Peters lot aantrekken en hij steunt hem ook financieel zo veel mogelijk.
In een Parijs' fitnesscentrum ontmoet hij op een dag een heel knappe, jonge, Zuid-Franse man die gehuwd blijkt te zijn. Ze blijken mekaar direct sympathiek te vinden en besluiten mekaar terug te zien. Het klikt heel goed tussen de viriele Julien en Austin. Zo goed zelfs dat Julien, wiens huwelijk op springen staat, besluit bij Austin in te trekken. Ze voelen zich heel gelukkig samen en Austin is heel trots op zijn gehuwde man met wiens ex-vrouw hij ook heel goed kan opschieten.
Er komt echter een barst in hun geluk wanneer Austin terug naar de States wil om er college te gaan geven aan de universiteit van Providence. Julien wil zich in de States met Austin gaan vestigen. Maar om in Amerika te gaan wonen heeft hij een werkvergunning nodig. Die werkvergunning blijkt geen probleem te zijn maar het duurt een tijdje voor alle papieren in orde zijn. Maar de advokate van Austin beweert dat ze zo al kunnen vertrekken. Niets blijkt minder waar.
Julien mag het land niet in en wordt op het eerste en het beste vliegtuig terug naar Pariis gezet. Julien zal zodra de papieren in orde zijn mogen nakomen. Toch voelen ze zich door deze gang van zaken erg ongelukkig. Of alles nog niet erg genoeg was verneemt Julien ook nog dat hij niet alleen seropositief is maar in ver gevorderde staat Aids heeft. Hij kan dus alle momenten erg ziek worden. Julien kan uiteindelijk toch naar de States komen en ze proberen de tijd die hun nog rest een gelukkig paar te vormen.
Net als James Baldwin in Giovanni's Room laat ook Edmund White geen gelegenheid onbenut om aan te duiden hoe nefast de cultuurverschillen tussen Europeanen en Amerikanen voor een homorelatie kunnen zijn. De gehuwde man is een zeer sterk en buitengewoon humaan werk.
In een Parijs' fitnesscentrum ontmoet hij op een dag een heel knappe, jonge, Zuid-Franse man die gehuwd blijkt te zijn. Ze blijken mekaar direct sympathiek te vinden en besluiten mekaar terug te zien. Het klikt heel goed tussen de viriele Julien en Austin. Zo goed zelfs dat Julien, wiens huwelijk op springen staat, besluit bij Austin in te trekken. Ze voelen zich heel gelukkig samen en Austin is heel trots op zijn gehuwde man met wiens ex-vrouw hij ook heel goed kan opschieten.
Er komt echter een barst in hun geluk wanneer Austin terug naar de States wil om er college te gaan geven aan de universiteit van Providence. Julien wil zich in de States met Austin gaan vestigen. Maar om in Amerika te gaan wonen heeft hij een werkvergunning nodig. Die werkvergunning blijkt geen probleem te zijn maar het duurt een tijdje voor alle papieren in orde zijn. Maar de advokate van Austin beweert dat ze zo al kunnen vertrekken. Niets blijkt minder waar.
Julien mag het land niet in en wordt op het eerste en het beste vliegtuig terug naar Pariis gezet. Julien zal zodra de papieren in orde zijn mogen nakomen. Toch voelen ze zich door deze gang van zaken erg ongelukkig. Of alles nog niet erg genoeg was verneemt Julien ook nog dat hij niet alleen seropositief is maar in ver gevorderde staat Aids heeft. Hij kan dus alle momenten erg ziek worden. Julien kan uiteindelijk toch naar de States komen en ze proberen de tijd die hun nog rest een gelukkig paar te vormen.
Net als James Baldwin in Giovanni's Room laat ook Edmund White geen gelegenheid onbenut om aan te duiden hoe nefast de cultuurverschillen tussen Europeanen en Amerikanen voor een homorelatie kunnen zijn. De gehuwde man is een zeer sterk en buitengewoon humaan werk.
August 26, 2025
Sorry to say I was disappointed by this one. Took me ages to get through despite a strong start. One of the first books in a while that just read as “and then, and then, and then…”
I can appreciate its importance in its own time, the depiction of two HIV positive men in a relationship, depiction of the slow progression of this disease (homosexualitée). But at this point, I’d just tell you to read About Ed instead. Or a few other “AIDS” books.
Most touching to me was the “wedding” scene about 3/4 of the way in officiated by Lucy.
Most odd was, well, the books colloquial systems and the fact that, well, it didn’t seem like they were in love. And is this the point White is making? Unclear. Is Austin’s life supposed to be *that* tragique?
Lastly, a bizarre # of Israelis mentioned as secondary characters. Overrepresented. Like in tech. Thanks for the loan, Tate!
I can appreciate its importance in its own time, the depiction of two HIV positive men in a relationship, depiction of the slow progression of this disease (homosexualitée). But at this point, I’d just tell you to read About Ed instead. Or a few other “AIDS” books.
Most touching to me was the “wedding” scene about 3/4 of the way in officiated by Lucy.
Most odd was, well, the books colloquial systems and the fact that, well, it didn’t seem like they were in love. And is this the point White is making? Unclear. Is Austin’s life supposed to be *that* tragique?
Lastly, a bizarre # of Israelis mentioned as secondary characters. Overrepresented. Like in tech. Thanks for the loan, Tate!
July 17, 2025
I wanted to read an Edmund White novel following his passing recently, and a Guardian article counted this one among his best. Luckily, I had picked it up recently on a visit to a thrift store before I read the article.
It began strong, and I was impressed by the prose, the worldliness, and the cultural commentary. Obviously, I loved how gay it was. It was also rather Hollinghurstian. Despite these, I felt myself to be at an emotional remove from the characters (I had a similar experience with A Boy's Own Story), which unfortunately exacerbated my alienation as things took a turn for the worse when Julien gets diagnosed. What follows is a largely plotless but devastating chronicle of the trajectory of Julien’s suffering which involves vacations to various locations and meeting many new characters. I cannot tease out the culprit here: is it the attention span of this Instagram age, or my over-dreaded but plausibly growing disinterest in literary fiction? Or, was the novel just not intriguing enough? Probably the latter - it wasn't very enjoyable and I had to really persevere through the slog. I was relieved when I crossed the finish line.
Whatever the case, it was still heartwrenching to follow the journey of Julien as AIDS consumes every fiber of his being. Austin comes across as a tender character torn between his guilt about his own health and his compassion for his dying partners. The succession of his hot young partners seemed a bit unrealistic. More so was this largely jobless character being able to afford a moderately lavish lifestyle and various vacations in Europe.
Though it doesn’t end up in my personal list of favorite gay novels, The Married Man is a crucial portrait of AIDS victims and the indifference they were subject to.
It began strong, and I was impressed by the prose, the worldliness, and the cultural commentary. Obviously, I loved how gay it was. It was also rather Hollinghurstian. Despite these, I felt myself to be at an emotional remove from the characters (I had a similar experience with A Boy's Own Story), which unfortunately exacerbated my alienation as things took a turn for the worse when Julien gets diagnosed. What follows is a largely plotless but devastating chronicle of the trajectory of Julien’s suffering which involves vacations to various locations and meeting many new characters. I cannot tease out the culprit here: is it the attention span of this Instagram age, or my over-dreaded but plausibly growing disinterest in literary fiction? Or, was the novel just not intriguing enough? Probably the latter - it wasn't very enjoyable and I had to really persevere through the slog. I was relieved when I crossed the finish line.
Whatever the case, it was still heartwrenching to follow the journey of Julien as AIDS consumes every fiber of his being. Austin comes across as a tender character torn between his guilt about his own health and his compassion for his dying partners. The succession of his hot young partners seemed a bit unrealistic. More so was this largely jobless character being able to afford a moderately lavish lifestyle and various vacations in Europe.
Though it doesn’t end up in my personal list of favorite gay novels, The Married Man is a crucial portrait of AIDS victims and the indifference they were subject to.
March 14, 2011
White's later novel is much more emotionally accessible than A Boy's Own Story. I was touched several times by his insights into the feelings of a gay man regarding love. I do wish White hadn't ended the book the way he did, though. I feel like he avoided the emotionality of Julien's death. The rest of the book was markedly more moving than Story, so it's a bit disappointing to see him revert to showing his protagonist's denial of the grief rather than the grief itself. All the same, it was a very good read and much better than the other two books of his I've read. I was engaged most of the time. And the sadness White has endured as a survivor of the 80s AIDS crisis came across. A new vulnerability emerged. Maybe some day he'll drive it totally home. But then maybe the message within his writing is that someone having survived all he has is by necessity emotionally constrained.
May 3, 2014
Much like life, the story starts out, every line filled with beautiful descriptions of scenes and emotions and steadily declines into the despair of two men infected with AIDS. Austin, an American in his fifties meets a much younger married man and their meeting evolves into a life long relationship, ending with Julien's death on their last travels in Morocco. Edmund White is a masterful writer, describing both surroundings and feelings and emotions with symphonic clarity. A beautiful albeit sad story.
February 13, 2010
Maybe the most honest depiction of a gay, HIV-positive couple I've seen. Despite the compelling topic, it managed to bore me. Edmund White's writing is lovely. I appreciated the expatriate American point of view, too. But less -- party chat, travelogue, dialogue with the mirror -- would have been more.
June 23, 2017
Beautifully descriptive although I feel like it's much too long. At times I felt I was reading just to get it over with.
January 27, 2022
I'm new to Edmund White, a very latecomer to the party, so-to-speak. I knew that he has published a number of texts that are semi-autobiographical, drawing on many aspects of his life as a gay man, living through the height of the AIDS epidemic; someone who lived for many years in Paris, France.
Indeed, all these themes are explored in The Married Man. Set - I believe - in the 1990s, locations vary from France to North Africa via the United States in the company of the main protagonists: Austin Smith - a journalist and French furniture specialist - and Julien, the Married Man of the title.
I found the prose exceedingly dense and, at times, hard to follow. Description, rich and detailed, often overlapped with narrative exposition, forcing the re-reading of paragraphs to double check what or where was unfolding. No bad thing as the nuanced detail adds a lot but I did feel that making headway with this book was a challenge at times; I guess that such a stop/start, broken reading really curtailed my appreciation of the book as a whole.
More challenging again were the characters: so many of whom were difficult, often broken, individuals who were hard to like or empathise with. From the emotionally stunted to the entitled, everyone felt like someone else's victim or victims of circumstance, loyalty played out as being hamstrung by duty and, in the end, I found it hard to sympathise with so many of them. While HIV/AIDS was (and is) a terrible thing, this book did not leave me feeling very much for the protagonists who suffered through it, for various reasons, whether it was death, debilitating disease or living with an uncertain future. I suppose, to this end, the book portrays the human condition and all its associated frailties very starkly. The people portrayed are weak and vulnerable in so many ways; it is incredibly sad but - for this reader - unmoving as, for the most part, I kept on wondering why anyone would want to share the lives of the characters given how awful they were to each other.
So, not enjoyable as such but, certainly, a window on a world that is no longer with us.
Indeed, all these themes are explored in The Married Man. Set - I believe - in the 1990s, locations vary from France to North Africa via the United States in the company of the main protagonists: Austin Smith - a journalist and French furniture specialist - and Julien, the Married Man of the title.
I found the prose exceedingly dense and, at times, hard to follow. Description, rich and detailed, often overlapped with narrative exposition, forcing the re-reading of paragraphs to double check what or where was unfolding. No bad thing as the nuanced detail adds a lot but I did feel that making headway with this book was a challenge at times; I guess that such a stop/start, broken reading really curtailed my appreciation of the book as a whole.
More challenging again were the characters: so many of whom were difficult, often broken, individuals who were hard to like or empathise with. From the emotionally stunted to the entitled, everyone felt like someone else's victim or victims of circumstance, loyalty played out as being hamstrung by duty and, in the end, I found it hard to sympathise with so many of them. While HIV/AIDS was (and is) a terrible thing, this book did not leave me feeling very much for the protagonists who suffered through it, for various reasons, whether it was death, debilitating disease or living with an uncertain future. I suppose, to this end, the book portrays the human condition and all its associated frailties very starkly. The people portrayed are weak and vulnerable in so many ways; it is incredibly sad but - for this reader - unmoving as, for the most part, I kept on wondering why anyone would want to share the lives of the characters given how awful they were to each other.
So, not enjoyable as such but, certainly, a window on a world that is no longer with us.
May 6, 2021
This was the first book that I have read by Edmund White. This book came recommended so I gave it a try. It reads much more like a memoir than a novel, and as I later learned it really is a memoir, the story is based on White's own life in Paris although the main protagonist is called Austin in this novel. Like White, he is living with HIV in the late '80s/early '90s and having a relationship with a younger man who ends up becoming positive during their time together. Julien, his lover, is charming and frustrating, their relationship is intense and fraught in every way I would imagine it could be with a young, beautiful Frenchman. We are always led to believe that Julien has secrets, which makes you question him and his relationship with Austin - in a way it reminded me of Gary Indiana's story "Horse Crazy", perhaps not as crazy as that, but similar. Yet, despite these "secrets" and inconsistencies about Julien's past, there remains something precious between him and Austin throughout their time together. The story, in the end, is tragic and White does an amazing job of layering all of the precious humanity without spoiling it by being overly sentimental. Julien is a difficult person by nature, his illness makes him worse, sometimes the reader seems to be more aware of the excuses for Julien's behavior than Austin, sometimes it is Austin that is more aware than us. In a normal world, Austin and Julien would have probably eventually drifted apart, they really were not the best match perhaps, although what is missing from their story is that they probably would have always remained close as friends no matter how they ended up. This is a story about AIDS and the tragedy of having this disease before there was anything to do about it but wait to die. Yes, this is an AIDS book and I know that plenty of people do not like to read these books, we lived through it and we want to forget about it, but I really hate that about the queer culture, this avoidance of AIDS literature. Edmund White is still alive, but god, so many others are gone and these books have become forgotten. These people wrote these books to be read - by us in particular - they should not be forgotten or avoided!
November 27, 2018
My overwhelming takeaway from this book is the protagonist's kindness: notwithstanding his flaws. Austin is a faulty human being (For example he is hesitant to tell prospective lovers of his HIV status. You understand that of course, most of the time they would duck immediately! The fact that he has sex - albeit protected sex - with the married man - and has NOT told him he is HIV positive is dreadful. But White's writing is so powerful you understand ... and forgive, sort of). The story begins where Austin meets a man twenty years younger than he in a gym. He helps him with his weights and the man scrutinises him as he thanks him. Austin knows himself well. At forty-nine he is flattered by the man's long look. He is completely aware of the fact that he is the kind of man who needs constant "transfusions of interest and affection". He then leaves it to Julien (the married man) to contact him if he chooses and, well, he does. You get the feeling Austin goes for what he can get (even if they are just a few crumbs from a married person's table!) but it comes as a bit of a shock to you as the reader as well as to Austin when Julien finally leaves his wife and moves in with him. Tragically, Julien develops AIDS and - although it is possible he didn't get the virus from Austin - Austin takes care of him through the years while the disease takes its inevitable toll. The fact that Austin is nursing a former lover through the same disease simply underlines the fact that Austin is a kind and caring human being. Both these chaps are not easy companions and the situation is practically intolerable many times. The detail is beautiful and excruciating. I couldn't put the book down. Edmund White has a way of drawing you in to his world whether the country is France, America or Morocco and you are totally aware of the differences and the beauties of each.
--
--
November 16, 2020
Henry James, but without the agonizingly convoluted prose. A frank, generous, acerbic, witty, gossipy, loving portrait of Paris and gay culture. Highly recommended.
Austin, about to turn 50, is living elegantly, albeit in near poverty in Paris. He is American, a specialist in C18th French furniture, researching the definitive encyclopedia, and surviving on occasional writing commissions from British and American home decoration magazines. His lover, Little Julien, recently left him and, at his gym, he meets a new love interest, Big Julien. The novel charts the course of this affair against a backdrop of Austin’s gossipy circle of Parisian friends and the couple’s international travel (a fated sabbatical in Providence, vacations in Venice, Key West, Morocco). The novel is frank about gay culture and the impact of AIDS in the period before antiretroviral treatment.
A simple recounting of the plot suggests that The Married Man could be a gay-themed beach read. It is, however, much more. White is wonderful in evoking locations—notably Paris where he once lived—and his metaphors are poetic and strikingly original. Coupled with his elevated style of writing, White is fascinated by cultural idiosyncrasies, equally adept at pricking the illusions of Parisian elites and exposing the banality of academic and suburban Providence. He has a good sense of how individual lives combine high aspirations and comically low vanities. The novel shows great generosity in celebrating life and friendships even when undercut by unseemly behavior. It converts the often-leaden everyday world into literary gold. Highly recommended as a book to keep and re-read.
Austin, about to turn 50, is living elegantly, albeit in near poverty in Paris. He is American, a specialist in C18th French furniture, researching the definitive encyclopedia, and surviving on occasional writing commissions from British and American home decoration magazines. His lover, Little Julien, recently left him and, at his gym, he meets a new love interest, Big Julien. The novel charts the course of this affair against a backdrop of Austin’s gossipy circle of Parisian friends and the couple’s international travel (a fated sabbatical in Providence, vacations in Venice, Key West, Morocco). The novel is frank about gay culture and the impact of AIDS in the period before antiretroviral treatment.
A simple recounting of the plot suggests that The Married Man could be a gay-themed beach read. It is, however, much more. White is wonderful in evoking locations—notably Paris where he once lived—and his metaphors are poetic and strikingly original. Coupled with his elevated style of writing, White is fascinated by cultural idiosyncrasies, equally adept at pricking the illusions of Parisian elites and exposing the banality of academic and suburban Providence. He has a good sense of how individual lives combine high aspirations and comically low vanities. The novel shows great generosity in celebrating life and friendships even when undercut by unseemly behavior. It converts the often-leaden everyday world into literary gold. Highly recommended as a book to keep and re-read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 83 reviews