Miss-connection: Why Your Teenage Daughter 'Hates' You, Expects the World and Needs to Talk

by Justin Coulson

A guide to surviving and thriving through your daughter's teenage years. What is the best thing about being a teenage girl right now? 'My friends!' 'Independence!' 'Discovering who I am.'

What is the worst thing about being a teenage girl? 'My friends.' 'Not knowing what the future holds.' 'Pressure to be perfect and look a certain way.'

What do teenage girls wish they could talk to us about? 'I'm sick of pretending to be happy all the time.' 'My face; if anyone is ever going to love me despite how grotesque my face is.' 'I sometimes don't want to be here.'

There has never been a better time to be a teenage girl. But perhaps there has never been a harder time. We know that connection is at the heart of our teenage daughters' happiness. And we do our best to have strong connections with our girls. But despite this, we often feel a disconnect. Or perhaps, more precisely, a mis-connect.

If you're looking to understand your teen daughter better and deepen your connection with her, this book is your guide. Drawing on cutting-edge psychology research along with interviews and surveys from close to 400 teenage girls, Miss-connection will take you into the world your teen girl experiences and help you connect with her the way she needs you to.

As the girls themselves set out the challenges they face - with social media, friends, boys, identity - you will find connection and solutions.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

304 pages, Paperback

Published January 20, 2020

Reviews

[Katrina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Excellent overview of the many challenges teenage girls and parents face today.

3.5 stars..
Sometimes too many examples are given hence the book could have been streamlined and shorter.

[Helen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This may be the best parenting book I’ve ever read. Certainly perfect for where I am now, the parent of teenage girls. Coulson talks realistically about our ability to stop unsafe behaviour by banning it (we can’t - kids can be very sneaky), but if we explain, explore and empower we can help them make good choices. And be around for them when things go wrong as well as when the go right.

[Corrinne · Rating 5 out of 5]

Until I had a teenage daughter, I would have scoffed at the idea that they could seem like a different species, after all I was one once! Reading Dr Justin Coulson's latest book "Miss-Connection: Why your teenage daughter 'hates' you, expects the world, and needs to talk" has been a revelation. I have realised that the frustrating (to me) traits my daughter shows are 'normal' in her cohort, and I have a better understanding of why.

This book is grounded in research and real parenting stories. The quotes from teenage girls through Justin's research are telling. His explanations are grounded and the strategies are approaches that seem possible to implement.

I am now more empathetic towards my beautiful daughter and, feel more confident and connected. And do I still get it wrong - yep! A work in progress - thanks Justin as this book makes parenting a little less hard.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I promised myself I will finish reading this before my daughter turns 14 - it still took me longer than it should, but I made it. (Parenting books are not my favourite genre)

Justin Coulson writes well, in a friendly and kind manner. His ideas and advice are calm and sensible. Some of them do sound a bit corny and hard-to-achieve (eg responding to a furious argument with a calm, compassionate, dialogue-inviting response) but it doesn't hurt to see that as the ideal and work towards it.

His advice sound sensible and reasonable, and pleasingly, is backed by data, being based upon survey responses from hundreds of Australian teen girls. (It has made me wonder whether this book is, essentially, a more accessible version of a PhD thesis). This very recent book also has the advantage of offering up-to-date information and advice about how to guide your teens in the very tricky areas of social media use (including sexting, and also how to use social media without sacrificing your mental health).

[Lesley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential for parents of todays teen girl. I’ve read a different book on teenagers, which was great for general development and brain stuff, but this book really looks at specific things girls go through today. Excellent tips for conversations, and how to respond to tricky situations. Good insight into what drives our girls in their friendships and use of social media. This book has helped me to organise my thoughts on a couple of occasions where I might have approached things a different angle.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book very helpful with parenting our teenage girl and was encouraged to read the numerous statistics/studies that show our teens are less likely to participate in some of the less desirable experiments of my teen years in the 1980's! The big message in this book of course is making a 'meaningful connection' with your teenager, which often means letting go of the little irritating day to day things!

[Samantha Diplock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book with some useful insights into teenage girls and how to connect with them.

[Penney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book and some good insights I will look to apply. I just didn’t enjoy it a huge amount because these types of books feel like homework to me!

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic insights. A must read for all parents of teenage girls.

[deborah · Rating 5 out of 5]

An insightful read which offered guidance and support without being forceful, which is exactly what I would have expected going by his parenting philosophies.
Well written with lots of real life examples and statistics and his personal thoughts at the end were a nice touch I thought. It’s more a general overview of setting up a successful strategy for this age and points you in the right direction of you need specific advice in certain areas.

[Elisa Osegueda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book on the realities teenage girls face nowadays and founded on thorough, qualitative research. Provides great advice as to how we can best connect with our girls. Some stuff is hard to deal with as a parent - I had to take breaks from the book as I felt myself becoming super anxious - but ultimately I rather be aware of all the issues out there then ignorant. Highly recommended for parents with teen and pre-teen girls.

[Susan Chessman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm going to appreciate any book that might help me with my teenage daughters.
Justin had some good ideas and suggestions that I am taking on board.
It sometimes seemed a little 'utopian' but I believe he understood the assignment when writing this book and having so many daughters himself he really is quite qualified
Listened to it on audible and was read by Justin.

[Caoi · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the better parenting books that I have read, with relatable examples and practical, implementable solutions. There are bits for all families and whilst some may agree or disagree with elements I found the overall theory sound, empowering kids to make good choices.

[Damian Davini · Rating 5 out of 5]

An important read. Don't wait until your daughter is a teenager to read this. The author is very relatable and everything he has to say makes sense.

[Monica Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best teen girls parenting book I’ve ever read/listen!

[Kim Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good eye opener for pre-teenage daughter! Sometimes no real answers to issues - just examples. Certainly came away knowing a few more strategies for survival!!!

[Today We Did · Rating 5 out of 5]

An insightful and thoughtful look at parenting teenage girls.

[Hannah G · Rating 2 out of 5]

Listened to this some time ago - don't remember any outstanding takeaways, seemed very broad dealing with your 'average' teen girl.

[Sandy Demeester-pohl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book and amazing insights I will take into the next chapter and rollercoaster of parenting girls.