Race Manners: Navigating the Minefield Between Black and White Americas

by Bruce A. Jacobs

On a crowded bus, a solitary black man seethes while boarding passengers take every seat except the one next to his; in a cafeteria, whites wonder why blacks congregate at the same table every day; in front of a store, a white woman clutches her purse when a black man passes nearby. Each scenario suggests that how we act toward and react to each other on a day-to-day basis stems from racial assumptions, misunderstandings, and biases. Some we acknowledge, others we are blind to. Talking about race relations in America is never easy. Bruce A. Jacobs has written a book that shows us how we can beginnot with lofty abstractions or policy arguments, but with practicality and directness. Over the past six years, Jacobs, an indefatigable promoter, has traveled the country, learning and listening as people react to his book and add their own comments. The result is a completely revised work, bringing this increasingly important subject up to date, and to a much larger audience.

Genres: Nonfiction, History, Politics, Sociology

208 pages, Paperback

First published February 19, 1999

Reviews

[Melinda Crouchley · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this wasn't the most challening book I've ever read on race - it did offer an interesting perspective on how to restore or refine race relationships on a personal level.

I appreciated the understanding of the author that racial stereotypes swing both ways and his advice on how to overcome those.

[Carolyn D'Argenio · Rating 3 out of 5]

Many thought-provoking parts. I think too much weight was given to the role of media in racism, and too little given to the interpersonal transmission of belief systems, particularly familial patterns. I expected this book to be more about the opportunity to talk about race, but it was really more about making a case for racism not serving real purposes. I'm glad that I read this, still.

[Teresa Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jacobs tackles a difficult topic with a lengthy and complicated history and discusses it in a clear, comprehensive, succinct way. It's truly impressive. This should be required reading for all high school seniors. This should be required reading for everyone, really. I will be recommending this book to everyone I know.

[Carmen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has some timeless advice yet is extremely dated. It was written well before the rise of MAGA where race relations take a dive off a cliff. Reading it in 2020 and seeing how all the well mannered advice for approaching racism has led us nowhere. I find the author is far too generous to awful people. This is not wrong but it may not be for everyone. If you want a not to challenging read on racism this is it.

[Shu Long · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a white woman married to a black man, not much of what I read in this book was new. However, if is one of the first, articulate, written pieces I have encountered on race relations in the U.S. that is more a primary on how to go forward on a personal level, than a diatribe. The writing is level headed and accessible.

[Elizabeth Hughescallison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellence Beginning Book on Race

I read this book in a book club for a discussion on Racial Discourse. It was an excellence starting book for understanding people's differences and the differences between White and Black. Going through cultural and sociality differences.

[Rob · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jacobs invites the sensible reader to listen in on his thoughtful conversation on race in America. His observations are helpful to anyone who will listen and then apply his ideas in everyday life.

[Chris Rosenow · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting insights

[Jonathan Dowdy · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you expect to be heard, talk to people as if they are capable of listening

[Ezekiel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Content Note for the book: racism (obviously)/racist language, ableism

This book is a VERY fast read.
That's not necessarily a good thing.

The purpose of this book as Jacobs writes is to start a conversation about racism/prejudice. Jacobs is African-American. He writes the book very specifically only focused on white/black relations in the US. Every chapter addresses misconceptions about race/racial realities and he is addressing both (clueless but willing to learn) whites, and (angry but willing to be told to let it go) blacks. If that last statement seemed to come with an eye roll, ding ding ding, you have correctly assessed how I feel.

I think that Jacobs does an adequate (perhaps slightly more than adequate) job of writing convincingly for clueless white folks on how various things are felt by many in black communities. This is mostly because he is willing to soft pedal it. He's saying "it's bad that you do this, but look on this next page I'm telling black people to not be mean too!" He's also generally assuming good faith (which I suppose is a relatively fair assumption that if a white person is reading this they are very slightly more likely to be willing to listen) that I tend to not be so willing to assume when it comes to white people.

The copy I have is also from 1999 so you can guess that it is pretty out of date with both its references and what is going on in terms of politics/academic research regarding racism.

My mother (when she told me she was getting rid of it, but did I want to take a gander) said it was 101. I would and wouldn't agree. It's 101 in the sense that it is simple/easy to understand/very beginning primer. But I definitely wouldn't give this book to a group of 101 level white folks because it lets us off WAY too easy, if you were trying to convince a white person for the need for an anti-racist worldview, they'd read this and go "well, as long as I am well meaning and willing to talk to various black folks about my understanding of the world it's cool". However subsections of the book MIGHT be useful as a teaching tool. Because as I said it DOES do a decent job of not immediately putting white people on the defensive.



(Ok I'm not being ENTIRELY fair, by the end he gets the tiniest bit more strident towards white people. I felt like he made a conscious decision to become more assertive as the book progressed. But seriously, it's SUCH KID GLOVES I think it might do more harm than good.)

[Josie Rice · Rating 1 out of 5]

I did not feel that this book opened me up to a new perspective. I was hoping for the African American side of racism because I, as a white woman, do not see a lot of racism in my own personal, everyday experiences. I just feel like this book was a lot of the same things that you always hear about and I do not think it was an incredibly fresh perspective. I am not saying that the same old stories weren't equally as terrible for the people experiencing them, but I do wish he had given less of his own personal experience from when he was a young black man and had interviewed modern black men. The reason I say this is that the racism he experienced being young twenty years ago is not the same as the kind of racism that minorities experience today and I was hoping to have some more applicable enlightenment from this book.
Jacobs overall message is good point. He says that racism is an issue that needs to be talked about without sensitivity because once we get over the hurdle of talking about it, we can come together to end it.

[Tessara Dudley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I disagreed with the author on several points, but I feel like a lot of them are because of how dated the book is now. At the time it was written, it seemed we could never have a Black president in America, and I feel like the racial landscape has shifted in a lot of ways. There is the same old racism, but there has been a rise in subtler forms of racism as well.

Over all, I liked it — even when I disagreed.

[Robert Williams · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many of my sentiments about racism is validated in this book. I have said many of the same thoughts to others and it's comforting to know that these sentiments are not figments of my imagination. The great thing about this book is that it opens the discussion on racism not just from the perspective of charging white people with bigotry towards blacks but it ventures into the perspective of Racism from blacks towards whites. Great balance of perceptions.

[Frany74 · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was pretty good. Jacobs seems to see and approach race relations much the same way I do. In fact it his approach and ideas were so much like mine that I didn't really feel like I learned very much or got any new insights.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you dig sociology books...this one is a can't miss. It's so intelligent & interesting.

[Jen Manning · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gives insight to both white and black Americans.

[Judith Mowry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another author I met in DC with a very clear and helpful racism analysis

[Jennifer P · Rating 4 out of 5]

For school. Interesting - I enjoyed it and the author is very insightful.