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Mama, You Are Enough: How to Create Calm, Joy, and Confidence Within the Chaos of Motherhood
Being a mother is a hard, tiresome role that, although not regularly discussed, can often bring up feelings of sadness, anxiety, anger, disgust, and embarrassment, or as clinical psychologist and mother Claire Nicogassian Psy. D. calls them, shadow emotions. This compilation of clinical advice and practical strategies guides struggling mothers through understanding these shadow emotions, working on overcoming them and ultimately moving to a place of self-care, where they can enjoy mothering their children once again.
Claire offers readers treatment from a variety of angles, with professional advice drawn from her 20 years as a psychologist, and personal insight from both her own experiences as a mother of four and the stories of her patients who’ve experienced similar hardships in parenting. The clinical focus explores different shadow emotions, helping mothers analyze the core of these feelings and identify triggers within themselves, suggesting strategies for cooling down, staying in control and working through the negative emotion. Unlike other parenting self-help books that focus on telling women to remain happy and positive, Claire teaches practical solutions, skills and strategies to help mothers move away from being controlled by their negative emotions and anxieties surrounding parenting, and into a place of well-being and balance.
Claire offers readers treatment from a variety of angles, with professional advice drawn from her 20 years as a psychologist, and personal insight from both her own experiences as a mother of four and the stories of her patients who’ve experienced similar hardships in parenting. The clinical focus explores different shadow emotions, helping mothers analyze the core of these feelings and identify triggers within themselves, suggesting strategies for cooling down, staying in control and working through the negative emotion. Unlike other parenting self-help books that focus on telling women to remain happy and positive, Claire teaches practical solutions, skills and strategies to help mothers move away from being controlled by their negative emotions and anxieties surrounding parenting, and into a place of well-being and balance.
288 pages, Paperback
First published June 16, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
September 24, 2021
What a brave author to tackle the shadow emotions of motherhood. She uses her years of counseling experience to affirm, celebrate and relieve women of unnecessary burdens. I loved her wisdom and breakdown of emotions. Her specific examples helped me understand exactly what she was talking about.
Her mantras and self-talk examples are so practical and kind. While I didn’t read every page because of relevance, I could see this as a resource and being very helpful for mothers as well as counselors and therapists.
Her mantras and self-talk examples are so practical and kind. While I didn’t read every page because of relevance, I could see this as a resource and being very helpful for mothers as well as counselors and therapists.
October 18, 2020
Wow- this psychologist/author/mom REALLY gets it, and what a gift for all of us moms! For as much as we love our kids with every fiber of our being, we all have moments (or days or weeks) where we are bowled over with guilt for feeling angry/sad/defeated/embarrassed/ineffective. This is the first parenting book I've read that effectively helps the reader objectively identify these feelings and then gives practical, simple steps to REFRAME these feelings. The author calls these challenging emotions the "shadow emotions", and I love how she teaches us how to morph "shadow mantras" (like "I cry all the time") to "thriving mantras" (like "my tears are showing me I need to pay attention to my physical and emotional health.") AND how she gives numerous examples of this type of self-talk in every chapter. I think she hits the nail on the head early on in the book when she talks about that hopeless/helpless feeling of ineffective parenting when a strategy that worked beautifully for your first kid utterly fails with your second or third. Think bedtime routines as the classic example of this! Our first child slept through the night at a few months of age, while our second basically became a nocturnal creature for her first four years! Our kids are college students now, yet I still fret over my parenting, and this book is a breath of fresh air. As a family physician, I feel like Dr. Nicogossian has bundled up critically needed cognitive behavioral therapy into an easily read and logically applied package for parents. Especially if you are an emotionally exhausted mom , this is a MUST-HAVE book. PS. EVERY mom I know has at least a few hours per week where she is indeed that emotionally exhausted mom! I HIGHLY recommend this book!
August 4, 2020
Mama, You Are Enough is a fantastic book! It's real and genuine and makes you feel less alone. The author explains and delves into topics that some mothers don't talk about. It's great to get some tips and to feel like you're in good company while parenting....which can sometimes feel so challenging. I love the positive reframing of scenarios and words that we as moms tell ourselves. It's helpful to look at things from a different perspective that is sometimes hard to do for yourself when you're in the thick of it yourself. I love the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. They are thought-provoking and inspiring. This book is definitely helpful and worth a read. Even if you don't sit down and read it at one time there are specific chapters you can pick and choose that will be more relevant at certain times and the advice is extremely helpful. Glad I got this book and read it!
April 26, 2021
I wish this book had been written when my twins were first born! It was still helpful now, but it would have been especially so as a new mom. The book doesn't need to be read cover to cover. You can move between the chapters that resonate with you. It's real and encouraging and rooted in psychology and mindfulness. I highly recommend it!
July 13, 2020
I love this book! Still making my way through it. I feel calmer and understood. Dr. Claire Nicogossian understands motherhood and what moms are going through. Good information any mom can use whatever age her children are.
February 12, 2022
I choose this book for my journey through my one little word Enough. I listened on audio. Wow this certainly spoke to me in a positive way. It’s certainly a book you can read over and over and still learn something. Highly recommend
Read
February 1, 2021Will go back to this one. Good tips and reminders.
June 18, 2021
Wonderful 🙏✨💜
July 31, 2024
I really wanted to like this book more but just couldn't get through it.
December 22, 2024
I got this from the library, but will be on the lookout for a copy of my own as I think it’ll be a good one to refer back to!
September 5, 2022
A Gift for All Mothers
As a clinical psychologist and a mom of three little ones myself, I have read countless parenting books, and Mama, You Are Enough by Dr. Claire Nicogossian is the first and only one that I have insisted on owning in every possible format (Kindle, audiobook, and print). If you are a mother, this book is really this good and this vital! What I adore about Mama, You Are Enough is that it delves into the often-unspoken challenges of motherhood, the ones that we might at times rather try to hide or deny to others (if not ourselves). While this might feel like dark territory, Dr. Claire maintains such a non-judgmental, compassionate tone throughout that it starts to feel safe. Motherhood is a powerful and sometimes heartwarming journey, but let’s face it, most of us are at least somewhat unprepared for the levels of stress and strain that come with raising children. The experience, with all its intensity and ups and downs, sometimes inevitably involves what Dr. Claire describes as the shadow emotions, or emotions like sadness, fear and anxiety, anger, embarrassment, and disgust. Rather than locking into a rigid view that shadow emotions are “bad” or ought to be denied or avoided, Dr. Claire compassionately normalizes these challenging feelings. By cultivating a response without judgment, moms can move from shame towards acceptance; from there, it is much more possible to start to find solutions and build skills to manage shadow emotions.
Dr. Claire emphasizes the importance of self-care. She understands that self-care can start to feel like one more thing we need to accomplish with limited time and energy, but she reassures us that self-care starts to feel possible and nourishing when we break it down into small daily steps. She outlines six types: physical, emotional, mental and cognitive, social, personal, and spiritual. To make it less overwhelming, Dr. Claire suggests to start with physical and emotional self-care as the foundation, to work on those first, and then pick out one additional area of self-care that is a particular priority and work on that area. Throughout the book, if you are anything like me, there will be times when you feel as if Dr. Claire is reading your mind. For instance, in talking about personal self-care, or the pursuit of one’s own hopes and dreams, Dr. Claire writes: “Many new moms struggle with feelings of loss of personal identity and freedom, even as they recognize how meaningful being a mother is. The adjustment to motherhood can seem so overwhelming because no longer are you as a mama thinking about yourself; you are organizing every waking moment around what your child needs, which can place personal self-care on hold for some time.” I found this and so many other lines in Mama, You Are Enough so deeply true that they stopped me in my tracks, and it felt almost as if Dr. Claire had peeked into my mama soul and articulated some of my deepest conflicts. I found great comfort in seeing many of my most difficult and complicated feelings so accurately articulated and compassionately validated, and I am sure most other mothers will also see themselves in many of Dr. Claire’s wise words and examples. Mama, You Are Enough brings a soft light to some of the darkest corners of motherhood, and in doing so, it lifts the burden of isolation so many of us can feel in our moments of struggle.
I truly cannot recommend this book enough. Mama, You Are Enough would be a beautiful, caring gift to give to yourself or someone you love. Any mother—and probably many fathers as well—would benefit tremendously from reading it. This is a book that is engagingly written and easy to dive right into, and the valuable nuggets and wisdom start at the beginning and continue its entire length. Unlike so many parenting books, the tone of Mama, You Are Enough is never patronizing, and its suggestions are realistic and attainable even for the busiest of mothers—this is in no small part because Dr. Claire is not only a seasoned psychologist but also a mother of four herself! She truly “gets it” in a real way, and she draws on both clinical and personal experiences in sharing lessons learned as well as providing examples. Though you may be tempted to devour this book in one sitting, Mama, You Are Enough is an incredibly rich resource that you can return to time and time again, choosing the facet of material that is most relevant in the moment.
This is a book that will lighten your burdens and renew your sense of hope. I hope you will allow yourself (and any mothers you love) the gift of reading it.
As a clinical psychologist and a mom of three little ones myself, I have read countless parenting books, and Mama, You Are Enough by Dr. Claire Nicogossian is the first and only one that I have insisted on owning in every possible format (Kindle, audiobook, and print). If you are a mother, this book is really this good and this vital! What I adore about Mama, You Are Enough is that it delves into the often-unspoken challenges of motherhood, the ones that we might at times rather try to hide or deny to others (if not ourselves). While this might feel like dark territory, Dr. Claire maintains such a non-judgmental, compassionate tone throughout that it starts to feel safe. Motherhood is a powerful and sometimes heartwarming journey, but let’s face it, most of us are at least somewhat unprepared for the levels of stress and strain that come with raising children. The experience, with all its intensity and ups and downs, sometimes inevitably involves what Dr. Claire describes as the shadow emotions, or emotions like sadness, fear and anxiety, anger, embarrassment, and disgust. Rather than locking into a rigid view that shadow emotions are “bad” or ought to be denied or avoided, Dr. Claire compassionately normalizes these challenging feelings. By cultivating a response without judgment, moms can move from shame towards acceptance; from there, it is much more possible to start to find solutions and build skills to manage shadow emotions.
Dr. Claire emphasizes the importance of self-care. She understands that self-care can start to feel like one more thing we need to accomplish with limited time and energy, but she reassures us that self-care starts to feel possible and nourishing when we break it down into small daily steps. She outlines six types: physical, emotional, mental and cognitive, social, personal, and spiritual. To make it less overwhelming, Dr. Claire suggests to start with physical and emotional self-care as the foundation, to work on those first, and then pick out one additional area of self-care that is a particular priority and work on that area. Throughout the book, if you are anything like me, there will be times when you feel as if Dr. Claire is reading your mind. For instance, in talking about personal self-care, or the pursuit of one’s own hopes and dreams, Dr. Claire writes: “Many new moms struggle with feelings of loss of personal identity and freedom, even as they recognize how meaningful being a mother is. The adjustment to motherhood can seem so overwhelming because no longer are you as a mama thinking about yourself; you are organizing every waking moment around what your child needs, which can place personal self-care on hold for some time.” I found this and so many other lines in Mama, You Are Enough so deeply true that they stopped me in my tracks, and it felt almost as if Dr. Claire had peeked into my mama soul and articulated some of my deepest conflicts. I found great comfort in seeing many of my most difficult and complicated feelings so accurately articulated and compassionately validated, and I am sure most other mothers will also see themselves in many of Dr. Claire’s wise words and examples. Mama, You Are Enough brings a soft light to some of the darkest corners of motherhood, and in doing so, it lifts the burden of isolation so many of us can feel in our moments of struggle.
I truly cannot recommend this book enough. Mama, You Are Enough would be a beautiful, caring gift to give to yourself or someone you love. Any mother—and probably many fathers as well—would benefit tremendously from reading it. This is a book that is engagingly written and easy to dive right into, and the valuable nuggets and wisdom start at the beginning and continue its entire length. Unlike so many parenting books, the tone of Mama, You Are Enough is never patronizing, and its suggestions are realistic and attainable even for the busiest of mothers—this is in no small part because Dr. Claire is not only a seasoned psychologist but also a mother of four herself! She truly “gets it” in a real way, and she draws on both clinical and personal experiences in sharing lessons learned as well as providing examples. Though you may be tempted to devour this book in one sitting, Mama, You Are Enough is an incredibly rich resource that you can return to time and time again, choosing the facet of material that is most relevant in the moment.
This is a book that will lighten your burdens and renew your sense of hope. I hope you will allow yourself (and any mothers you love) the gift of reading it.
March 2, 2024
This is a great book for mothers, talks about the various emotions they go through and how to change the negative self talk to positive one.
The author has done a great job in categorizing the emotions, how to handle them and what can mother's do to not beat themselves.
The book also highlights how emotional, physical and verbal abuse in childhood have negative effects later on in the adult life like self loathe and hatred.
Overall its a great read and highly recommend.
The author has done a great job in categorizing the emotions, how to handle them and what can mother's do to not beat themselves.
The book also highlights how emotional, physical and verbal abuse in childhood have negative effects later on in the adult life like self loathe and hatred.
Overall its a great read and highly recommend.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 12, 2021
The whole crux of the book is to encourage moms to talk about real feelings that we go through. Whether it's new moms, postpartum moms, second-time moms, or people going through parenting issues, we all need extra support. This book touches on the "shadow emotions" or negative emotions that all mothers experience at one time or another, like frustration, exhaustion, anger, and fear.
A mom can pick up this book and admit she's feeling irritable and frustrated, read about it, and gets some tools on how to take care of what's going on inside. There are steps that any mom can do, whether it be reaching for support, journaling, talking to a counselor. There is even a little meditation at the end called The Thriving Mama Reflection. This book doesn't have to be read cover to cover. It's simply a resource that you can use in the car.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/cla...
A mom can pick up this book and admit she's feeling irritable and frustrated, read about it, and gets some tools on how to take care of what's going on inside. There are steps that any mom can do, whether it be reaching for support, journaling, talking to a counselor. There is even a little meditation at the end called The Thriving Mama Reflection. This book doesn't have to be read cover to cover. It's simply a resource that you can use in the car.
To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://zibbyowens.com/transcript/cla...
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews