This book has a potent message involving mental self-defense mechanisms & living vs merely surviving after sexual assault. There's also a meaningful thread about how those that love victims can be a catalyst for healing, but can never "fix" a victim... The victim has to want healing for themselves!
It's a great basis, but the writer lacked follow-through and writing skill to move the story beyond bare bones. I initially empathized with the MC, but that connection was lost in a sea of fluff, cheese, and the same inner dialogues on repeat.
Good Bones To The Story
So, clearly this is a book about a young girl sexually assaulted on spring break. Fast forward five years and this girl, Cam, finds survival by controlling her male relationships in that she never allows ANY emotional involvement.
Enter sexy, sweet, patient firefighter that sets her emotions afire. She runs and pushes to avoid the emotions he elicits, but he chases and yields to having her anyway she will give herself.
He chips away at her feelings that she's broken, unlovable, & incapable of love.
Monotonous, repetitive, boring ruins the story
So, the basic story ^^ sounds inspiring & makes you feel like you can root for a romance between emotionally scarred Cam and her sexy, patient fireman, BUT...
The writing here is just boring. It's monotonous with too much of just doing nothing but thinking the same thoughts and saying the same dialogue on repeat... He wants her, loves her, & will do anything to "fix" her as she needs to deny wanting and loving him & doing anything to prove she's unfixable. And, this is on repeat for 70-75% of the book.
The sexual assault itself is also repetitive; it was told three times and a dream of part of it a fourth time. Was it important? Yes! But, telling it that many times just felt like filler vs each being meaningful parts if the story.
Again, there's a message here of self-defense mechanisms following assault. There's a message of loving yourself before you can truly love anyone else, and that a person can be a catalyst for healing even if they can "fix" you. It was a good message/story that was diluted with somewhat cheesy, really dull, very monotonous, and extremely boring writing. It was like taking your favorite quote and shoving it into a set of 400 page instructions on how to clean your oven.
Conflicting Message
While the above are all positive points to the story, I'm extremely irritated with Cam and Lex's relationship. It wasn't positive and IMHO was laced with Pollyanna "all can be made well in the world with effort."
She maintains a VERY passive aggressive friendship with Lex post Mexico. It's a disturbing relationship! Lex is a selfish person, a pissy friend, & pushes Cam to do things that aren't good for her, whether that be sex before the assault or the push to drink during Claire's bachelorette party years later.
Cam internally blames Lex for part of the sexual assault, but admits to herself that it was own poor decisions that were the ultimate blame. That's a truth.
Yet, she still maintains this weird love/hate relationship with Lex & ultimately tells her what happened and forgives and forgets Lex's part without any accountability.
Lex isn't the one that drank too much or made an unwise choice to go to a hotel with men she didn't know, but the fact remains that if she was a real friend, Cam wouldn't have been ALONE, abandoned in a club in Mexico. Friends don't disregard other friend's safety that way. That's a friendship to be terminated, not mended.
So, the 'Awww, shucks... It's all good and were Bff's again' healing of their relationship sat horribly with me. It absolves her of her part in leaving her friend to the wolves without the chick ever even realizing her part in the chain of events. Insta-fix friendship for a friendship that's not even my definition of friend!!
Ends with a thump
So, we all look forward to the Big Bang at the end of a book. Well, it never came. There's a little moment around 70% or so where a pivotal turn takes place emotionally, but then the book just fizzles out with a bunch of fluffy day-to-day shit up to the HEA. The author throws in a few Tiffany boxes (btw how does a firefighter afford Tiffany jewelry? Just wondering?!?!) and two weddings for good measure.
******The "resources" portion at 98% was honestly the best part of the book. She gives resources and pounds her message in a direct note to readers:
• You are not alone.
• It is not your fault.
• Your experience does not define you.
• You are worthy of happiness.
• Help is out there if you need it.
Bottom Line
I'm conflicted as to how to rate this book. I think it holds a strong message regarding the emotional and coping aftershock of sexual assault, but, beyond that, it was just poorly written & a boring mess of repetitiveness and fluff as filler.
I hope the author revisits this book and revises it to omit the problems & add a little hurrah to the plot.