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How to Be Me
Lucas is all alone.
Since his mum died, Lucas and his dad don’t seem to understand each other at all. And Lucas is dreading the summer drama club that his dad has signed him up for. But the people Lucas meets at the club force him to open up and start talking. Can his new-found friends teach Lucas how to be himself?
A beautiful, moving story of family, friendship and self-discovery, from the author of the high-acclaimed novels Ella on the Outside and Not My Fault.
Since his mum died, Lucas and his dad don’t seem to understand each other at all. And Lucas is dreading the summer drama club that his dad has signed him up for. But the people Lucas meets at the club force him to open up and start talking. Can his new-found friends teach Lucas how to be himself?
A beautiful, moving story of family, friendship and self-discovery, from the author of the high-acclaimed novels Ella on the Outside and Not My Fault.
- GenresMiddle GradeChildrens
272 pages, Paperback
First published November 5, 2020
14 people are currently reading
129 people want to read
About the author
Cath Howe
27 books27 followersCath Howe is an author and teacher working in South West London writing for, and working with, Key Stage 2 primary age children.
Her first two books were published in 2012 by Pearson in their Bug Club, “The Curse of the Highwayman” and “The Highwayman’s Revenge”. She has won prizes for stories, poems and monologues and even written a musical. Over the past seven years, she has also led children to victory in local festivals performing her work.
Cath Howe runs workshops in schools on everything to do with writing and performing, teaches gifted writers, coaches children for auditions, develops plays and scripts for festivals; everything about being inspired and creative.
Member of SCWBI (Society of Children's Writers of the British Isles), NAWE (National Association of Writers in Education), The Society of Authors and Writer in Residence at Kingston University Writing School.
Her first two books were published in 2012 by Pearson in their Bug Club, “The Curse of the Highwayman” and “The Highwayman’s Revenge”. She has won prizes for stories, poems and monologues and even written a musical. Over the past seven years, she has also led children to victory in local festivals performing her work.
Cath Howe runs workshops in schools on everything to do with writing and performing, teaches gifted writers, coaches children for auditions, develops plays and scripts for festivals; everything about being inspired and creative.
Member of SCWBI (Society of Children's Writers of the British Isles), NAWE (National Association of Writers in Education), The Society of Authors and Writer in Residence at Kingston University Writing School.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews
January 12, 2026
not bad but not fucking great either.
*sighs because i will never not write a review for a book i've read*
rtc.....
*sighs because i will never not write a review for a book i've read*
rtc.....
January 6, 2022
3,5/5
Wszyscy lubimy dostawać prezenty, a także nie przejmować się kupowaniem różnych przedmiotów, jeśli nas na to stać. Jednak czy bogactwo cieszy, kiedy nie masz z kim podzielić się swoimi radościami i troskami, a także gdy czujesz się samotny, opuszczony i pozbawiony niezbędnego wsparcia?
Lucas nie potrafi odnaleźć się w otaczającej rzeczywistości, od kiedy jego mama umarła, a tata znalazł sobie nową kobietę i planując z nią wspólną przyszłość, kompletnie zapomniał, że ma syna. Ojciec wbrew woli Lucasa zapisuje go do wakacyjnego kółka teatralnego. Chłopiec bardzo broni się przed tym, ale w końcu zaczyna na nie uczęszczać, a powoli okazuje się, że jednak tam też może być fajnie... Może dzięki nowym znajomym główny bohater w końcu zdecyduje się być sobą?
Niewiele jest książek dziecięcych poruszających ważne tematy, jak (nie)radzenie sobie z utratą ukochanej osoby, żałoba, niesatysfakcjonujące relacje na linii rodzic-dziecko, zastępowanie miłości prezentami, zagubienie i poczucie bycia samotnym... A tak wygląda życie wielu młodszych i starszych osób, dlatego Jak być sobą to bardzo ważny tytuł, który powinno przeczytać każde dziecko (najlepiej wraz z rodzicem!).
Mimo tego, że od wielu lat jestem osobą dorosłą, lubię od czasu do czasu sięgnąć po książkę dla młodszych czytelników. Być może ten tytuł nie jest najlepszym, jaki czytałam w swoim życiu, a do tego nie emocjonowałam się tak podczas czytania, jakbym tego chciała (chociaż bardzo współczułam bohaterowi i czułam złość na jego ojca), ale wiem, że wynika to z tego, iż sam styl autorki nie do końca do mnie przemawia, bo jest bardzo prosty (może nawet za bardzo), gdyż dostosowany do młodych ludzi, a to oni są tutaj głównym targetem. Dlatego nie czuję stuprocentowej satysfakcji z lektury z powodu mojego wieku, ale opowieść sama w sobie jest godna uwagi, ponieważ skłania do refleksji i pozwala utożsamić się z głównym bohaterem, a to jest najistotniejsze.
Wszyscy lubimy dostawać prezenty, a także nie przejmować się kupowaniem różnych przedmiotów, jeśli nas na to stać. Jednak czy bogactwo cieszy, kiedy nie masz z kim podzielić się swoimi radościami i troskami, a także gdy czujesz się samotny, opuszczony i pozbawiony niezbędnego wsparcia?
Lucas nie potrafi odnaleźć się w otaczającej rzeczywistości, od kiedy jego mama umarła, a tata znalazł sobie nową kobietę i planując z nią wspólną przyszłość, kompletnie zapomniał, że ma syna. Ojciec wbrew woli Lucasa zapisuje go do wakacyjnego kółka teatralnego. Chłopiec bardzo broni się przed tym, ale w końcu zaczyna na nie uczęszczać, a powoli okazuje się, że jednak tam też może być fajnie... Może dzięki nowym znajomym główny bohater w końcu zdecyduje się być sobą?
Niewiele jest książek dziecięcych poruszających ważne tematy, jak (nie)radzenie sobie z utratą ukochanej osoby, żałoba, niesatysfakcjonujące relacje na linii rodzic-dziecko, zastępowanie miłości prezentami, zagubienie i poczucie bycia samotnym... A tak wygląda życie wielu młodszych i starszych osób, dlatego Jak być sobą to bardzo ważny tytuł, który powinno przeczytać każde dziecko (najlepiej wraz z rodzicem!).
Mimo tego, że od wielu lat jestem osobą dorosłą, lubię od czasu do czasu sięgnąć po książkę dla młodszych czytelników. Być może ten tytuł nie jest najlepszym, jaki czytałam w swoim życiu, a do tego nie emocjonowałam się tak podczas czytania, jakbym tego chciała (chociaż bardzo współczułam bohaterowi i czułam złość na jego ojca), ale wiem, że wynika to z tego, iż sam styl autorki nie do końca do mnie przemawia, bo jest bardzo prosty (może nawet za bardzo), gdyż dostosowany do młodych ludzi, a to oni są tutaj głównym targetem. Dlatego nie czuję stuprocentowej satysfakcji z lektury z powodu mojego wieku, ale opowieść sama w sobie jest godna uwagi, ponieważ skłania do refleksji i pozwala utożsamić się z głównym bohaterem, a to jest najistotniejsze.
December 5, 2021
While I enjoyed How to be me by Cath Howe, I felt it lack the depth and originality of Cath Howe’s first novel, Ella on the Outside. The plot for How to be me is a well-used one. A child, in this case, Lucas, finds it difficult to fit in socially but unexpectedly finds a friend, Keely, who helps him to recognise and use his skills in a project that benefits others.
It’s difficult to know how old Lucas is supposed to be. His mother died about three years previous and he started school about the same time but he may have been taught by private tutors before this. Lucas acts like a preteen and expects more independence than his father allows. His father is a wealthy, successful businessman who has recently become engaged to Vanessa. This small family live in an overly large house. Lucas’ father is too busy to engage with his son who still struggles with his mother’s death. Lucas is often cared for by au-pairs but this doesn’t provide a consistency of care.
During the school holidays, Lucas’ father arranges for Lucas to participate in a drama club with the idea of helping him to be more outgoing. Lucas is horrified but has no choice but to attend. At the drama club he meets, Keely. It’s difficult to determine Keely’s motives as she pursues a friendship with Lucas. She is often bossy, almost bullying, and yet also seems to take a genuine interest in him. Keely’s family run a bakery not far from Lucas’ house. Here, Lucas finds the acceptance and empathy missing from his own family.
While the story has a satisfying feel to it. I didn’t find it well written and the plot lacked some uniqueness.
It’s difficult to know how old Lucas is supposed to be. His mother died about three years previous and he started school about the same time but he may have been taught by private tutors before this. Lucas acts like a preteen and expects more independence than his father allows. His father is a wealthy, successful businessman who has recently become engaged to Vanessa. This small family live in an overly large house. Lucas’ father is too busy to engage with his son who still struggles with his mother’s death. Lucas is often cared for by au-pairs but this doesn’t provide a consistency of care.
During the school holidays, Lucas’ father arranges for Lucas to participate in a drama club with the idea of helping him to be more outgoing. Lucas is horrified but has no choice but to attend. At the drama club he meets, Keely. It’s difficult to determine Keely’s motives as she pursues a friendship with Lucas. She is often bossy, almost bullying, and yet also seems to take a genuine interest in him. Keely’s family run a bakery not far from Lucas’ house. Here, Lucas finds the acceptance and empathy missing from his own family.
While the story has a satisfying feel to it. I didn’t find it well written and the plot lacked some uniqueness.
December 29, 2023
Mam mieszane uczucia. Tytuł trochę nie pasuje do treści. Po podziękowaniach bardziej zrozumiałam, co autorka miała na myśli pisząc tą książkę
April 18, 2021
One of the joys of reading kid lit out loud to my children is that these books often offer a cheerful counterpoint to some of the more difficult novels that I read quietly to myself.
In the same week that my book club is reading Shuggie Bain, by Douglas Stuart - quite the most anguished account of childhood I have ever read - I read Cath Howe's new book "How to Be Me" out loud to my kids. Lucas, the hero of this book, is lonely and misunderstood. His Mum died suddenly three years ago, his Dad seems to spend most of his time on his phone, and Dad's fiancée Vanessa--who's going to be Lucas's not-exactly-welcomed "new mum" makes jackets for dogs. His au pair, Irena - who appears to be equally lonely, missing her family back in her (unnamed) country of origin - is often denied her rare days off by the perpetually busy Vanessa.
Lucas is rich. He lives in a large house with its own ballroom, and has every material advantage. But he misses his mum terribly, his school-friends are away on expensive vacations, and he's mouldering around at home on his own in the company of his two cats. Then Dad signs him up for a month-long drama club, to which he doesn't want to go.
At first glance, the characters in How to Be Me seem a bit uni-dimensional: the self-involved soon-to-be stepmom, the distant Dad, the uncaring au pair. To the author's credit, they slowly emerge as warm-hearted, mixed-up humans, if, like most of us, they are experts at miscommunication. Vanessa teaches Lucas to operate a sewing machine and even sews a costume for his star turn as the pianist for the drama club's performance. Dad comes home in the nick of time. Lucas makes some new friends among the drama club kids, including the roller-blading Keely, whose parents own a bakery and offer him crucial support.
The descriptions of this bakery, by the way, are absolutely delectable, and I could almost smell the warm scent of freshly-baked bagels, sourdough, granary and rye breads "and all sorts of different toppings on the cakes."
In the same week that my book club is reading Shuggie Bain, by Douglas Stuart - quite the most anguished account of childhood I have ever read - I read Cath Howe's new book "How to Be Me" out loud to my kids. Lucas, the hero of this book, is lonely and misunderstood. His Mum died suddenly three years ago, his Dad seems to spend most of his time on his phone, and Dad's fiancée Vanessa--who's going to be Lucas's not-exactly-welcomed "new mum" makes jackets for dogs. His au pair, Irena - who appears to be equally lonely, missing her family back in her (unnamed) country of origin - is often denied her rare days off by the perpetually busy Vanessa.
Lucas is rich. He lives in a large house with its own ballroom, and has every material advantage. But he misses his mum terribly, his school-friends are away on expensive vacations, and he's mouldering around at home on his own in the company of his two cats. Then Dad signs him up for a month-long drama club, to which he doesn't want to go.
At first glance, the characters in How to Be Me seem a bit uni-dimensional: the self-involved soon-to-be stepmom, the distant Dad, the uncaring au pair. To the author's credit, they slowly emerge as warm-hearted, mixed-up humans, if, like most of us, they are experts at miscommunication. Vanessa teaches Lucas to operate a sewing machine and even sews a costume for his star turn as the pianist for the drama club's performance. Dad comes home in the nick of time. Lucas makes some new friends among the drama club kids, including the roller-blading Keely, whose parents own a bakery and offer him crucial support.
The descriptions of this bakery, by the way, are absolutely delectable, and I could almost smell the warm scent of freshly-baked bagels, sourdough, granary and rye breads "and all sorts of different toppings on the cakes."
December 11, 2021
It was a good book, a bit confusing at first but it is quite good. I recommend it.
August 13, 2024
Okay.. this would be a 4.5 star if there was one but there isn't so I'm rating it 4 star. This book is so slow but so worth it! There were many scenes where I was eva crying or laughing. Overall a must read. I know want to play piano!
February 1, 2021
Cathe Howe is rapidly establishing her trademark as the go-to author for accessible stories of children struggling with contemporary life for one reason or another. After Ella on the Outside (bullying, secrets) and Not My Fault (sibling rivalry, guilt), How to be Me explores a range of issues including death of a parent and a pet, new stepparents, and being the square peg that does not fit into the round hole your family would like you to.
Lucas is a rich kid. But while he may have a ballroom, exciting foreign holidays and the money to buy pretty much anything he wants, he is missing the fundamental things we all need deep down – friendship, understanding and acceptance. He’s also got more everyday worries, such as not wanting to join the drama group is dad is forcing him to and not knowing who to tell that he has nits.
Luckily for Lucas, and our story, drama group doesn’t turn out as bad as anticipated, and before too long he is well on his way to not only accepting himself but also building strong relationships with new friends and old family.
How to be Me is a deceptively easy read, with short chapters, uncomplicated vocabulary and wide-spaced text. It explores important themes with a lightness of touch that belies its empathetic approach and depth of feeling, and Cathe Howe’s deft touch with relatable characters reels you in and will, I imagine, be passed from hand to hand by Year 4-6 eagerly. As such, it will make an excellent bridge for those readers moving on from early chapter books to chunkier middle-grade fare, while never being too simplistic for more advanced readers.
Many thanks to the publisher for our review copy.
Lucas is a rich kid. But while he may have a ballroom, exciting foreign holidays and the money to buy pretty much anything he wants, he is missing the fundamental things we all need deep down – friendship, understanding and acceptance. He’s also got more everyday worries, such as not wanting to join the drama group is dad is forcing him to and not knowing who to tell that he has nits.
Luckily for Lucas, and our story, drama group doesn’t turn out as bad as anticipated, and before too long he is well on his way to not only accepting himself but also building strong relationships with new friends and old family.
How to be Me is a deceptively easy read, with short chapters, uncomplicated vocabulary and wide-spaced text. It explores important themes with a lightness of touch that belies its empathetic approach and depth of feeling, and Cathe Howe’s deft touch with relatable characters reels you in and will, I imagine, be passed from hand to hand by Year 4-6 eagerly. As such, it will make an excellent bridge for those readers moving on from early chapter books to chunkier middle-grade fare, while never being too simplistic for more advanced readers.
Many thanks to the publisher for our review copy.
October 5, 2021
Lucas po śmierci mamy nie potrafi dogadać się z tatą. Ojciec go nie rozumie, nie chce rozmawiać o stracie i pragnie wymazać bolesne wspomnienia. Dziecko jednak potrzebuje przeżyć żałobę, potrzebuje zrozumienia. Silny bunt pojawia się, gdy tata zaczyna planować nowe życie z Vanessą, a ślub jest głównym tematem każdej konwersacji.
Cath Howe z dużym wyczuciem napisała książkę dla młodszej młodzieży - książkę o wielkim bólu, o żałobie. Mamy tu prosty, wciągający styl, który nie pozwala oderwać się od lektury. Naprawdę chcemy wiedzieć, co będzie dalej, choć fabuła wcale nie jest jakaś wymyślna i zaskakująca.
Dziecko też ma uczucia i też musi się wypłakać. Szczególne po tak nieopisanej tragedii jaką jest utrata mamy. Żałoba jest częścią leczenia, zdrowienia, bez jej odbycia nie da się wrócić do "normalności". Dorośli czasem nie słuchają dzieci, czasem myślą, że brak rozmowy o stracie uchroni dziecko przed bólem, ale to nie jest prawda. Mały człowiek - to człowiek! Ma takie same problemy, tak samo tęskni i tak samo pragnie miłości i uwagi.
"JAK BYĆ SOBĄ", to pełna wzruszeń opowieść o dziecku, które się zgubiło. Mamy tu prostą historię, która w jasny sposób pokazuje, że rzeczy straszne dzieją się, ale póki żyjemy, musimy o siebie dbać, musimy ze sobą rozmawiać i siebie słuchać. Mądra książka, napisana bardzo przystępnym językiem. Nie ma tu metafor, to łagodna, ale dosadna opowieść o problemach, których nie da się rozwiązać, ale z którymi trzeba nauczyć się żyć.
Tato! Ja tu jestem i ja też za nią tęsknię...
6.5/10
Wydawnictwo Wilga
Cath Howe z dużym wyczuciem napisała książkę dla młodszej młodzieży - książkę o wielkim bólu, o żałobie. Mamy tu prosty, wciągający styl, który nie pozwala oderwać się od lektury. Naprawdę chcemy wiedzieć, co będzie dalej, choć fabuła wcale nie jest jakaś wymyślna i zaskakująca.
Dziecko też ma uczucia i też musi się wypłakać. Szczególne po tak nieopisanej tragedii jaką jest utrata mamy. Żałoba jest częścią leczenia, zdrowienia, bez jej odbycia nie da się wrócić do "normalności". Dorośli czasem nie słuchają dzieci, czasem myślą, że brak rozmowy o stracie uchroni dziecko przed bólem, ale to nie jest prawda. Mały człowiek - to człowiek! Ma takie same problemy, tak samo tęskni i tak samo pragnie miłości i uwagi.
"JAK BYĆ SOBĄ", to pełna wzruszeń opowieść o dziecku, które się zgubiło. Mamy tu prostą historię, która w jasny sposób pokazuje, że rzeczy straszne dzieją się, ale póki żyjemy, musimy o siebie dbać, musimy ze sobą rozmawiać i siebie słuchać. Mądra książka, napisana bardzo przystępnym językiem. Nie ma tu metafor, to łagodna, ale dosadna opowieść o problemach, których nie da się rozwiązać, ale z którymi trzeba nauczyć się żyć.
Tato! Ja tu jestem i ja też za nią tęsknię...
6.5/10
Wydawnictwo Wilga
September 19, 2021
Lucas is different. He doesn’t fit well with other children, preferring to be alone, playing his piano or his two cats. His dad – a work-obsessed absent father who throws money at problems and expects everyone and everything to fall in with his extremely busy schedule – doesn't understand Lucas at all. When his dad arranges for Lucas to attend the local drama club, Lucas is completely out of his comfort zone. There, he meets Keeley, whose family and life couldn’t be more different to his.
This beautifully written story of a difficult relationship between a father and a son and the acceptance of self is told with such raw emotion. A super read.
This beautifully written story of a difficult relationship between a father and a son and the acceptance of self is told with such raw emotion. A super read.
May 31, 2021
Lucas is lonely. Since his mum's death, his dad doesn't seem to understand him and his only company is his cats. To keep him busy over the summer holidays, Dad signs Lucas up for a drama club. Lucas really doesn't want to go, especially as he seems so different from all of the other children there. However, slowly Lucas starts to find his place in the group and starts to understand what he really wants.
This is a fabulous book which really tugs on the heartstrings throughout. I am sure this will be very popular in my classroom.
This is a fabulous book which really tugs on the heartstrings throughout. I am sure this will be very popular in my classroom.
July 19, 2021
This book was interesting. It covered some fab and current themes, including kindness, friendship and loss. The pages were laced with empathy and projected the importance of this quality.
I feel it would be an appropriate book for upper KS2 readers and a good class book for Yr4, however the topics of parent loss and the slightly angry tone of the father may be too intense for those much younger.
I found some elements of the plot were built on stereotypes which is not my favourite technique in books, however I appreciate this may be appropriate for child readers to familiarise them with certain topics!
I feel it would be an appropriate book for upper KS2 readers and a good class book for Yr4, however the topics of parent loss and the slightly angry tone of the father may be too intense for those much younger.
I found some elements of the plot were built on stereotypes which is not my favourite technique in books, however I appreciate this may be appropriate for child readers to familiarise them with certain topics!
August 10, 2021
Brilliant, some people just capture the thoughts and feelings of children better than most & Cath Howe is one of them.
Lucas’ mum died 3 years earlier and his dad is absent a lot and doesn’t listen. His dad thinks that by giving him money that that’s enough but this summer he forces Lucas to go to a drama club to break him out of his shell. Lucas is determined to hate it but somehow he manages to stay true to himself & make a friend.
A wonderful story for people aged 8+
Lucas’ mum died 3 years earlier and his dad is absent a lot and doesn’t listen. His dad thinks that by giving him money that that’s enough but this summer he forces Lucas to go to a drama club to break him out of his shell. Lucas is determined to hate it but somehow he manages to stay true to himself & make a friend.
A wonderful story for people aged 8+
June 22, 2024
Nie wiem jak opisać ta książkę. Jest bardzo wartościowa, każdy powinien ją przeczytać. Podczas czytania kilka razy się popłakałam, a to oznacza, że jest to bardzo dobra lektura. Po samym tytule, sądziłam ze będzie to poradnik, natomiast myliłam się. Historia opowiada o chłopcu i jego otoczeniu w którym się obraca. Jak sam tytuł mówi. Główny bohater pragnie odnaleźć siebie, a bynajmniej chce być wreszcie wysłuchany, a przede wszystkim zrozumiany.
June 13, 2021
A nice story about grief and friendship. Lucas' mum has died, he seems to have to relationship with his dad who is getting remarried. Summer comes and he has nothing to do but attend a drama class where everybody knows each other and they are happy to be themselves. But Lucas does not know how to do that.
June 13, 2021
Lots of complex and true to life emotions explored in this story. It shows that struggles may not always be obvious and teaches how important it is to make time and listen to your family. Love the character progression and development of relationships, showing sometimes they just need a bit of time and a bit of work.
January 20, 2023
Moim zdaniem książka początkowo nie była w ogóle porywająca. Dopiero troszkę potem się zaczęło rozkręcać, ale nadal myślałam, a zwykła jakaś taka opowiastka. Na szczęście zakończenie... poprawiło całe moje nastawienie do tej książki. Nie uważam jej za wybitną, bo w sumie jedyne co mi się w niej podobało to ostatnie jakieś 35 stron, ale zawsze coś. Oceniam na 4/5⭐
May 15, 2021
I could not put this down, and will be moving straight onto another book by Cath Howe. Genius writing, topic, story and characters. There is so much I loved about this and the issues it covers. Lots of tears and tissues needed.
May 20, 2021
This was a lovely emotional story, I was in tears at the end. It was written in a simple style so I'd recommend it for children aged 7+. It might help children to understand and reflect on the effects of a loss.
May 12, 2024
It was good but I found it boring sometimes and I feel like it was a bit of a short story made long but still was very good and upsetting especially when you find out his mum dies and then later on his cat dies
But yes it was good :)
But yes it was good :)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 10, 2021
Brilliant and emotional!
May 16, 2021
Another amazing book by Cath Howe. The journey of self discovery is beautifully constructed with laughs and tears along the way.
August 2, 2021
Catch’s books are quick easy reads but have you captivated from the start. I really enjoyed this one however dont thi k it is my favourite of hers
October 22, 2021
Just finished this lovely book about Lucas a lonely boy who finds friendship and family through a drama group - warning you will need tissues 😍📖😍
January 13, 2022
The characters in "How to be me" were very relatable and I felt moved by their development.
This book was a reminder of the power of the creative arts, of friendship and of love!
This book was a reminder of the power of the creative arts, of friendship and of love!
February 4, 2022
Myślę, że ta książka porusza ważny temat jakim jest samoakceptacja i to jest na plus. Podobała mi się ale nie skradła mojego serca:/
April 17, 2022
A really good read evolving the hard parts of a boys life 👦 👨👦 An amazing book!
July 20, 2022
★4,5
September 18, 2022
Great 5 out of 5 .
May 12, 2023
It was great!
Although for the first... 150? Pages Lucas was such a push-over for everyone.
Although for the first... 150? Pages Lucas was such a push-over for everyone.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 37 reviews